In The Cards

Diversions are always good, if you can pull them off. They are the icing on the cake, so to speak. A well-planned diversion will not only draw your opponent's attention away from what you're doing with your other hand, but significantly weaken him at the same time. When it comes to making an assignment easier, perhaps the only thing better than a diversion is two. Or possibly three.

Excerpt from 'Interview With An Assassin'

There were two cooking fires ahead, each holding a large cauldron filled with steaming soup. Imoen thought it smelled pretty bad herself. Maybe that had something to do with having noticed the state of the hands of the bandits doing the cooking. That was one thing she had learned. A rogue needed to be able to see. Not just see with the eyes, but with the mind. To be able to see what was really there, and what only seemed to be. She was getting better at it, but she knew that she still had a lot to learn.

"These are the two main fires," Adahn murmured quietly. "There are other cooking fires tended by smaller groups of bandits, but these particular cooks supply most of the camp. That makes them our first target." He showed Imoen two small bottles, each filled with a clear liquid. "We want this to go in there," he said, nodding first at the bottles and then at the soup-cauldrons. "Do you want to handle one of them?"

Imoen swallowed hard and stared at the innocent-looking bottles. "Is it…is it poison?" she asked. "Only, I've never poisoned anybody, and I'm not sure I can, even bandits."

"It's not poison," Adahn said in a neutral voice. "At least not exactly. The poisons I do carry are too valuable to be wasted on this sort of large-scale thing."

"So it won't kill anybody?"

"No. Not directly, but it will incapacitate them if it works the way it's supposed to. I won't lie to you to pretty things up though. Incapacitating them means that your friends will kill them more easily than otherwise, should an open battle become necessary. Think you can live with that?"

Imoen thought about this for a moment. It wasn't nice. It wasn't pleasant. But it is the lives of my friends at stake. Of my sister. It needs doing. And if I agree that it needs doing, I have to be prepared to do it myself. "Yes," she said, her young face determined. "Yes, I can."

"As long as you're sure," the bandit said, not unkindly. "Otherwise I can always do it myself. Like I said, I won't push you into anything you're not ready for."

"No. No, I'm sure. I want to help. I need to help. Really, I do."

"Good," Adahn said, a brief flicker of approval crossing his sharp-featured face. "Come then. I'll take the left cauldron, you the right. We go in quietly, casually, and remember to move your feet the way I've showed you and you should do all right. Ten drops should do the trick, it's very strong." He seemed to melt into the shadows and disappeared from sight. Imoen knew he was still there, but try as she might, she couldn't spot him. Then she braced herself and slowly headed towards the right cauldron, as discreetly as she possibly could. There was no bandit in the immediate vicinity at the moment. Perfect timing.

Closer. Closer. Imoen knew that she'd gotten better at her sneaking. Quiet as a shadow, she told herself. Innocent. Invisible. Stealth wasn't only about physical skill, it helped to develop a certain mindset, to become one with the darkness. Then she was suddenly at the cauldron, the heavy smell of meat and overly boiled vegetables filling her nostrils. Quickly she started to unplug the bottle, slightly hunched down by the cauldron so as not to attract attention. The stupid plug wouldn't come out though. Oh, nuts, Imoen thought to herself, feeling nervous sweat trickle down her back. This is just plain silly. It has to work. Who ever heard of a poisoner who got stuck opening the bottle? Well, not that I'm actually trying to kill anybody, exactly, but still… Imoen pulled. And pulled. And pulled. And… *Plopp *

Ooops… Imoen thought as the entire contents of the bottle accidentally wound up in the cauldron. I hope it's still going to work…

"Well?" Adahn asked as the two rogues reassembled some distance away from the cauldrons, behind an out-of-the-way tent. "How did it go? You certainly took your time."

"You saw me?" Imoen squeaked, her heart in her mouth.

"Of course I did. But as long as nobody else did, that hardly matters. Did you apply the potion as specified?"

"Oh. Oh, sure. No problem. No problem whatsoever."

"You're quite sure?"

"Oh yes. Yes, yes. I'm getting really good at this sneaking stuff," Imoen rambled on. "I…er…I wanna be just as good as you at it one day. Were you always this good? I bet you were."

The bandit's black eyes narrowed dangerously and his voice had a sudden edge to it when next he spoke. "Show me the bottle," he said.

"Well, actually, the thing is…"

"Show me the bottle. Now."

Imoen swallowed hard and held the bottle out, blushing rather heavily. Adahn took it and turned it over in his hand, without making any immediate comment. "I see," he said. "A bit of youthful enthusiasm. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised at this."

"It…it was an accident."

"I don't doubt it. And accidents happen to the best of us. However, not telling me about it wasn't an accident, and that could well have cost us precious time. They say there's no honor among thieves, but on a common outing we need to be able to trust each other, at least temporarily. I really can't spare the time to baby-sit you, you know. If you make a mistake, I need you to tell me."

Imoen felt tears rise in her eyes. She'd messed things up, and all she'd ever wanted was to help. Well, that and to make a favorable impression. Now he'd never think of her as anything but an irresponsible child. "I'm sorry," she said in a small and somewhat trembling voice.

"It cannot be changed now," Adahn said, sounding much kinder at this sign of contrition. "Don't worry any more about it, just don't do it again. We must work with what we have. And speaking of which, we had better hurry up."

"What was in those bottles anyway?" Imoen asked as they headed deeper into the bandit camp.

The older rogue smiled a lupine smile. "That, girl, you will soon find out. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Suffice it to say that anybody who eats that soup is going to be kept quite busy. And now, on to our second stop of this little tour through Tazok's domain."

"This is the hobgoblin part of the camp," Adahn explained a few minutes later. "They generally keep apart from the humans, and while we're tolerated we won't be exactly welcome. You might want to stick close by me."

"Sure!"

"Er…not quite that close. I still want to be able to move. And breathe. Let's not forget about breathing."

Imoen reluctantly let go of her unwilling victim's waist. "But I thought we could pretend to be a couple of lovers taking a stroll, too busy with each other to know where we were going…"

"No. Definitely not."

"Aw, please? It'll be fun, you'll see…"

"NO!"

Nuts, double-nuts and triple-nuts, Imoen thought. Well, at least I got to snuggle him a little. I just have to be persistent, that's all. "So what's next?" she asked.

"Next we're going to have a word with Ardenor Crush, leader of the Chill. That's him over there. The big hobgoblin by the tent. Just follow my lead." Adahn sauntered over towards the hobgoblin leader, and as he did so he shifted his way of walking, away from his normal smooth and flowing gait and into one that practically screamed arrogance. Oh…oh my! Imoen thought. That's…that's even hotter than usual. Just look at those legs and…and…oh my! Then she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be following and hurried after the bandit, half running in a way that wasn't particularly assured or graceful. "Pay attention!" Adahn hissed.

"But I was…"

"Well, whatever you were paying attention to it obviously wasn't the right thing. You don't want to step on a hobgoblin's toes by accident." They were almost upon Ardenor Crush by now.

"You! Humans!" the hobgoblin snarled. "Your kind is not welcome here. What do you want in Chill part of camp?"

"Tazok sent me," Adahn said with a cold smirk that made Imoen deeply envious. "He is…curious…as to why you did not see fit to show up for the secret meeting yesterday. Curious, and worried about your loyalties. You are loyal, aren't you?"

"What?!" the hobgoblin roared. "Loyal? The Chill are all loyal to Tazok! What meeting is this? Speak, or I will have your head?"

"You did not know?" Adahn asked, and now he sounded genuinely surprised. "That…is strange. I heard Tazok give the orders. Tenhammer was there as well. I think he was meant to inform you. Well, I must have been mistaken…"

"Ha! No mistake! Talon leader is craven snake, tries to win position from Chill. He lies, he cheats, he speaks ill of me to great Tazok. But he will pay. Oh, he'll pay."

"If you say so. Though I'm sure there must be a logical explanation."

"NO! You go to Tenhammer, tell him I challenge him. If he wants fight, I'll give him fight. One hour from now. I'll feast on his liver, chop his heart up for the crows, suck on his runny eyeballs and…"

"Yes, yes, yes," Adahn hastily interrupted. "We get the picture. We'll just go and tell him that, shall we?" Ardenor Crush growled in reply and started putting on his chainmail.

Taugosz Tenhammer's reaction to the challenge of the Chill leader was entirely predictable. "What?!" he screamed. "That filthy, flea-ridden little… I'll peel his stinking hide off and use it for a doormat!" Imoen listened raptly. She was learning more swearwords than she'd ever known before in her entire life.

"Yes, no doubt," Adahn said. "Best of luck." He motioned for Imoen to follow him and left the still fuming leader of the Black Talons behind. "They'll keep each other busy," he said. "And now for the third and final diversion." He led the way back towards the edge of the camp where there was a cave, sealed with a huge door covered with chains and heavy locks. "Go ahead," he said, pointing at the door. "Let's see how much you've learnt."

"Er…me?" Imoen asked.

"Yes. You wanted to learn, didn't you? We still have some time to spare, and I need to see how much you know before I can teach you anything."

"Oh. All right then." Imoen took out her lockpicks and scrutinized the door. She reached for the first lock.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Adahn asked mildly, an amused glint in his black eyes.

Imoen hesitated. And then she saw the thin indentation next to the lock. "Right," she said. "Arrow trap. Just a sec." Once she had spotted the trap disarming it wasn't too difficult.

"Very good," the older rogue encouraged her. "It seems you aren't entirely uneducable. Let's move on, shall we?"

Imoen did, spotting three other traps. Then she paused. "I…can't see any other," she admitted.

"You're quite sure?"

"Yes."

"Good. There aren't any."

"But I thought…"

Adahn raised an eyebrow. "A good thief needs to know not only when to start looking for traps, but when to finish," he said. "Now let's see how you do with the locks."

Imoen did fairly well, only requiring instruction on the two most difficult locks. Once she was done Adahn motioned for her to stand back. "Be careful," he warned. "You don't want to get trampled."

Imoen looked at the door. She thought she could hear shuffling and snarling noises coming from inside. "Um…what is in there anyway?" she said.

"Just a moment, and you'll see for yourself. Be ready to move quickly. They'll likely be upset after having been shut in so long." Adahn was watching the stars intently, his hand on the door. "Yes," he murmured to himself. "The potion ought to have affected enough people by now, the effect will show at any time. And Crush and Tenhammer ought to be properly on the warpath. Let's hope the others are ready to move." He pulled the heavy door open. The snarls grew louder. And then Imoen could see into the darkness of the cave, and there were eyes inside, maddened, furious glowing eyes, and teeth glittering in open moves. Growls, growls and barks and the penetrating smell of dog.

"Move it!" Adahn ordered, and when Imoen didn't react quickly enough he threw himself at her, landing them both on the ground a safe distance away from the cave entrance, partially covering her body with his own. The gnolls were storming past them into the bandit camp, growling and snapping and baying for blood, charging Chill and Talon alike, but Imoen didn't care. Not in the position she was in. Not in the position he was in, more or less on top of her, and very close.

Who cares about Sarevok's plans? she thought, her mind giddy with delight. I wanna stay right here!