In The Cards

They say that Hell is being trapped inside a small room with your friends for eternity. I still say it has to be worse to get trapped with one of your enemies. And I've been to Hell, along with my friends, if not for eternity. I should know.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"It's getting pretty late, isn't it?" Zaerini asked, trying not to sound too concerned. The half-elf was sitting on an overturned log, staring into the campfire. She had been trying to study her spells, but found herself quite unable to concentrate. Then she had tried to work on a song she was writing, but instead she found herself doodling stars, flowers and hearts all over the scroll. By now it was too dark to write anyway, and still Edwin hadn't returned.

"You are biting your nails again", Jaheira said.

"No, I'm not!", Rini guiltily said and yanked her hand away from her mouth. "Well, not much."

"I'm s-sure that Edwin will b-b-be all right", Khalid said and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. "D-don't worry too m-much."

"Who? Me? Worry?" Rini tried to give a carefree laugh. It sounded a little hollow to her ears. "I'm not worried. Not at all. After all, if he wants to walk out and make a fool of himself that's hardly my fault, now is it?" She nervously tapped her fingers against her knee. But it's getting really late, she thought. Suppose something bad has happened to him? And he wouldn't have run off on his own if we hadn't been arguing. There…there could be dragons and vampires and liches in this forest for all I know! They could be killing him even now! It's all my fault!

"Of course it is not your fault!" Jaheira said, shaking her head to make her brown hair glitter like gold in the firelight. "He is an adult after all, capable of making his own decisions. How much trouble could he get himself into between here and Nashkel?" Here she paused and met Zaerini's eyes. Then she frowned, obviously remembering that this was Edwin she was speaking about.

"Minsc thinks the Red Wizard is trouble walking on two legs", the large ranger said and cocked his head to the side, looking puzzled. "But if Zaerini wants him to be found, then Minsc and Boo will help."

"Yes!" Rini hurriedly got to her feet. "Yes, thank you Minsc. I really think we ought to go look for him, just to make sure nothing's happened to him." Then her face fell: "Except I don't know where to start looking, and it's too dark to see anything. Sure, I have darksight, but that won't help until we're close enough to see him."

Minsc beamed at her and tapped his nose with a finger. "Fear not, little singer!" he proudly stated. "Minsc can track a white fox through a Rashemani snowstorm. The keen hamster nose of Boo will help him, and he will find the pesky wizard." Boo squeaked his agreement.

"Oh, thank you!" Rini exclaimed and gave the huge man a hug. "Thank you so much!" Then she cleared her throat. "Er…no need to let Edwin in on the fact that I was worried about him, though. I wouldn't want him to get an even bigger head."

"If so, Minsc will be happy to cut it down to proper size."

"I'm sure you would", Rini said with a grin as she strapped her sword back on and hurriedly gathered up her other belongings. Then she gave her other friends an impatient look. "Well? What are we waiting for? We're off to fetch the wizard!"

When Edwin awoke he didn't feel hungry anymore. Of course violent nausea wasn't much better. He seemed to be lying on the ground. It was cold, wet and bumpy. And one of the biggest bumps in the neighborhood was protruding from the back of his aching skull. His head felt as if it had been split in two. Gingerly he touched the huge swelling and winced as a white-hot lance of pain pierced his brain. His fingers came away wet with blood. Not good. Well, at least he was alive. Just barely.

"I see thou hast awakened", a female voice said. "Verily, thou art far from thy evil kin, wizard. If thou didst come here to slay me thou hast fallen into thine own trap. These beasts will spare neither of us." Edwin groaned. He had a feeling he knew who that voice belonged to. That's it, he thought. I guess I was wrong after all. I must have died, and this is Hell. Then he managed to get into a seated position and saw that he was all too right about his companion's identity. He was at the bottom of some sort of pit, a deep hole dug in the ground. The walls were steep and slippery, and looked quite impossible to climb. He could just about make out the night sky above him, but apart from that he could see nothing of what lay above. On the opposite side of the hole stood a small and dark-skinned woman, wearing a purple mage robe. Though dirty and bedraggled she still somehow managed to look serene and superior. Staggering to his feet Edwin did his best to match her arrogant demeanor.

"My 'kin' is none of your business, witch", he sneered. "And not everything is about you. My reasons for travelling the North are my own." He leaned against the wall to keep steady and fought stubbornly against the rising nausea. "But I know of you. You and your idiot ranger."

"Thou hast seen Minsc?" The witch gave him a hard look. "If thou hast caused him harm thou shalt be forced to regret thy misdeeds as the fires of righteousness melt the flesh off thine vile bones. So swears Dynaheir of Rasheman."

"Save me the preaching", Edwin retorted. "My stomach is roiling enough as it is. I know all about your kind, so you can discontinue the goody-goody act. It won't impress me!" He was pleased to see that the woman was wearing no bags of spell components. The gnolls must have taken them. His own were still hanging from his belt, but he thought the headache would likely keep him from summoning his magic for some time yet. He had no particular wish to be at the tender mercy of one of the Witches, so the fact that his enemy was equally disarmed was a great relief.

"Thou wilt cease thy rudeness at once!" The witch drew herself up to her full height, what little there was of it, and pointed a finger imperiously at Edwin. She then looked highly indignant as the wizard laughed her in the face.

"My, you really are out of touch with reality", he said in a slow drawl designed to drive the woman out of her mind. "So sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't Rasheman. Around here there's nobody to enforce the death penalty for disobeying a Witch. That must be almost enough to make you soil yourself with frustration."

"I would never do such a thing", Dynaheir almost screamed. She gripped the front of Edwin's robe and started shaking him violently. "And what dost thou know of our Law anyway, Thayvian?" Then she screamed for real as Edwin vomited noisily and profusely all over the front of her robe, and yes, even into it.

Serves her right for trying to bully a sick man, Edwin thought with some triumph. "More than I care to, Witch", he said with a cold smirk. "And that is what I think of it!" He pointed at Dynaheir's once pretty purple robe, now soiled beyond recovery, and then spat on the ground. He was feeling a little better already. Now if only he could get out of here before the gnolls decided to come for a midnight snack…

Zaerini was happy to find that Minsc hadn't been boasting about his tracking abilities. He picked up Edwin's trail without difficulty and led the party deeper into the woods. After some time he paused to examine the ground. "Gnolls!" he bellowed. "Many gnolls came here. Their evil foulness is everywhere!"

"So it seems", Jaheira muttered. "I just stepped in some of it."

"What of Edwin?" Zaerini asked anxiously.

Minsc scratched his head briefly. "His trail ends here. Minsc finds it very strange. The wizard can't fly." Then Boo squeaked briefly and Minsc's face lit up. "Oh! I understand now. Thank you, Boo."

"What did he say?" Rini asked and then mentally wanted to hit herself for even asking such a question. Apparently Minsc's - minscness - was contagious.

"The gnolls must have taken the wizard with them", Minsc said, pleased to be able to answer the question. "Like with poor Dynaheir."

Zaerini suddenly felt very cold. "W-what do you mean?" she asked. The entire world went gray and lifeless around her. Then she felt Jaheira at her side, steadying her, and realized that she had almost fainted.

"There may be a possibility that he is still alive", the druid said in a quiet voice. "After all, they did not kill him on the spot. They will have taken him with them to save for later, most likely into the fortress Minsc mentioned to us before."

"Save for later? What…"

"To eat", Jaheira clarified. "That is what they do to their prisoners. We must hurry if we are to find them in time."

"Y-yes", Rini said, still feeling as if the ground was rolling beneath her feet. "We must." She was a bit surprised to see how kindly Jaheira looked at her.

"I am pleased to see you care so much about the fate of another, even if it is that annoying wizard", the druid said. "It…reassures me about our future."

"Like I said", Rini responded automatically. "Nobody deserves to get eaten by gnolls. That includes Edwin. And I can't help but feel partially responsible. After all, he wouldn't have been out here on his own if we hadn't quarreled."

Sure kitten, Softpaws said. Put it that way if you want to. The black cat rubbed herself reassuringly against the legs of her person, almost causing Rini to trip over her. Still, it was a very calming sensation. She picked the cat up and buried her nose in the soft fur, carefully stroking it.

What do you mean?

Softpaws just purred. If you can't figure it out I'm certainly not going to tell you, she said. What do I look like? A book of free hints?

"Right", Rini said, a highly determined look on her face. "Let's go kick some gnoll butt, then."

"Yes!" Minsc cheered. "You know how to be a true hero! Butt-kicking is the first step, a hamster is the second."

"That won't be necessary", Zaerini said in a dry voice. "I already have a cat, after all."

"Minsc forgot! Onward then, heroes, space-hamsters and cute little kitties!" The ranger, true to his word, stormed off into the bushes, heading due west. Khalid and Jaheira followed him.

"Don't worry, Rini", Imoen said. Her pink clothing made her glow in the darkness even without the use of elven eyes. "We'll get him back, safe and sound. You'll see. I mean, it's like a story. Knights in shining armor rushing off to a dark fortress to rescue an imprisoned princess." She paused as she thought about this. "Well, not that Edwin's much of a princess, but you get the general idea. We're bound to win."

"I hope so", Zaerini mumbled. "It's just…not all the stories and songs I know have happy endings."

"The ones you tell me do."

"Yes, Immy. I know. I love you just the way you are, you know. I hope you'll never have to hear the other ones." She hugged her friend briefly and then set off after the rest of her companions.

The sun was slowly starting to crawl over the horizon when they reached the gnoll fortress, illuminating the landscape with a pale gray light. The ground was rocky and barren here, dry grass and small twisted bushes the only plants in sight. The forest receded far beneath the adventurers as they carefully climbed a narrow path along the steep side of the unwelcoming mountains. The wind howled like a pack of angry wolves, constantly threatening to throw them off the edge of the cliff. Eventually they reached a narrow rope bridge leading across a wide chasm. On the other side Zaerini could see the path leading even higher, almost as if it were intending to reach the sky. And there, high above, she could just glimpse the dark walls of a forbidding castle. There was no sight of any gnolls.

"Oh my", Zaerini could hear Imoen whisper behind her.

"Yes…" Zaerini agreed as she craned her neck backwards to take in the imposing sight. Then she pulled herself together. "All right", she said. "There are probably about a gadzillion gnolls inside. So let's make this a quiet, covert operation, shall we? We go in quietly, find Edwin and Dynaheir, and then get out quickly."

Imoen, Jaheira and Khalid nodded their agreement.

"Yes", Minsc said. "Minsc understands! Quickly, quietly and kicking many evil gnoll butts, letting evil tremble at the sound of our mighty battlecries."

Rini sighed. "Something like that, yes", she said.