Cards Reshuffled

People trying to fool me is one thing, that’s part of being an adventurer, even if I don’t like it. But I really hate it when they try to fool me using ploys that insult my intelligence. For that sort of thing, they deserve some misery.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

The inside of the Harper Hold turned out to be as ostentatious as the outside. Zaerini marveled at the vast expanse of magically polished marble floor, inlaid with golden crescent-moon, harp and stars. The furniture looked quite expensive as well, and there were plants growing in pots here and there, everything from small shrubs to an actual tree or two. Not being all that knowledgeable about what she usually referred to as ‘green stuff’, she pondered asking Jaheira for details, but then decided against it. She was by far more interested in the sweet sound of harp music lingering in the air, played by invisible hands.

“Well, druid,” Edwin said, looking around. “For a supposedly secret organization, you Harpers aren’t doing a very good job of being inconspicuous, are you? (Harper symbol inlaid into the very floor…all that is missing is a framed portrait of that annoying old coot Elminster.)”

Normally Rini would have expected Jaheira to answer with a biting retort of her own, but instead she simply frowned, her green eyes concerned. “As rude as you are, wizard, you do have a point. This is not the usual way of the Harpers. When last I visited Athkatla, many years ago, we did not have this…place. Gorion would never have approved of this, it is by far too flamboyant and visible.”

“Of course I am right. I always am. And…” Edwin suddenly broke off in mid-sentence as he rounded a corner, then groaned loudly as he saw what was in front of him. It was an enormous statue, the size of a frost giant, of a robed wizard with a long white beard and a pointy hat. It was quite a good likeness, Rini had to admit, the unknown artist had got the smug expression just right. On the base of the statue it had been written in gold paint: ‘Elminster the Sage, First and Foremost of Harpers’. “Oh wonderful,” Edwin said, sneering up at the statue. “Just wonderful. Everybody, excuse me while I regurgitate my lunch all over the feet of His High Meddling Pompousness.”

In the main hall, there were a few people standing about, all of whom eyed the newcomers warily, but without challenging them. They were of different ages, sexes and builds, but Zaerini did notice one thing they all had in common. Every single one of them wore a medallion around his or her throat, a gold one, depicting the moon, the star and the harp. Well. Obviously a Harper sign of recognition. A bit too obviously. Eddie is right. The Harpers are supposed to be a secret organization, so why are they all walking about practically carrying a sign around their neck that reads ‘Spy’? There has to be something more to this.

Purposefully she headed for a young man who was diligently sweeping the floor. “Hello there!” she said. “Are you new here too?”

“Ah…yes!” the young man said, smiling back. “Only joined last month, actually.”

“Great! Then you can give me a tour, can’t you? And tell me all about this place…”

As it turned out, the young man didn’t really know much about anything, but he did confirm that everybody in the place wore the special necklaces, as well as that there was something secret about the second floor.

“So, obviously we need to get up there,” Rini summarized as she huddled with her friends in a remote corner. “There’s certainly no sign of Montaron down here, or did any of the rest of you find anything?”

“Nothing,” Jaheira said. “And these Harpers…I do not recognize any of them, which is strange. There should be at least some familiar faces.”

“I found this though,” Jan said, hastily displaying a winged helmet. “It was hidden in a trapped niche in the wall. Oh, and there was one of these fancy things lying about on a desk.” He held up one of the by now familiar necklaces.

“Lying about on a desk?” Anomen asked. “You broke into it, didn’t you?”

“Sadly no, dear Ano. Nothing like disarming a deadly little trap or two, but these Harpers simply wouldn’t oblige.”

“I don’t like this,” Edwin flatly said, his fingers idly stroking his own amulet. “It is all too easy, there is bound to be some kind of trap ahead.”

“Probably,” Rini agreed. “I guess we’ll just have to be extra careful.”

“Minsc will be careful!” Minsc stated, positioning himself at her shoulder. “And he will carefully crush anybody who dares interfere with his Witch, as Boo nibbles on their evil eyeballs, slurping up the jelly!”

“Er…yes,” Rini said. “As long as you do it quietly…”

Zaerini got more and more uncomfortable as she ascended to the second floor. She knew that the Harpers in the building had to be watching, but still there was no challenge. Something was very wrong, and she could feel the little hairs at the back of her neck standing on edge. She half anticipated an attack as soon as she reached the second floor, and already had her hand on the hilt of her sword. What faced her was something very different.

Three ghostly figures floated in mid-air. They looked human, but transparent, as if they were made of mist. As she neared them they eyed the medallion she had hung about her neck and then nodded.

“You bear the mark of one and the same,” one of them whispered. “Here you are welcome and may rest in safety.”

“Ask as you will what you wish to know,” a second one chimed in, “and the guardians will answer as best as can be. We have seen much and know the old songs, though the first singing be forgotten.”

“Spectral Harpers…” Jaheira whispered, her voice awed. “They have voluntarily embraced this shadowy existence to serve the Harpers, even in death.”

“Now that’s loyalty for you,” Jan said. “And it must save plenty in the retirement fund too.”

”That is not the reason for…”

“Ah, cease this nonsensical prattle!” Edwin said, striding forward towards the specters. “You there! Creatures! I command you to tell me what I wish to know, before I blew my nose in you and then banish you straight into Elminster’s underwear drawer. (A dark and unholy place if ever there was one, I’m certain.) What have you done with the thief you captured not long ago?” He proudly drew himself up to his full height and gave Zaerini a triumphant look across his shoulder. “You see? My masterful and commanding presence will fully intimidate these wraiths into submission.”

The three Spectral Harpists looked at the wizard, and then at each other. Finally, one of them shrugged. “It is no secret,” it said. “A thief that despoils Harper soil is forbade from touching it again until penance given. They are above the soil, that they might see it and know loss. As they take flight from the law, so we have given flight but nowhere to flee. A gilded cage for a form free to soar, that they might know loss in confinement. No possessions held or worn, a form that carries its own feathered coat. To show that material things come and go, and that some do not need them at all.”

“Cute,” Rini said with a small sneer. “Punishment is one thing, but does there have to be a sermon to go with it? If you ever decide to kill me or anything, please spare me the rhyming, all right? I already met this one assassin with a sad fixation on bad poetry…”

Since it seemed no more useful information was forthcoming from the specters, the adventurers set to searching the upper floor. There was a library area above the stairs, and then they came into a series of small studies. In one of them was a small letter, signed only with the letter ‘T’ and referencing to a ‘thief’ whom ‘T’ hoped would repent or else ‘develop a taste for birdseed.’

“It all seems quite clear,” Anomen said. “These Harpers have transformed the thief into a bird then, as punishment for his crime, and we need only find him. Though why we wish to find him I still cannot understand.”

“It does fit with what the specters said and it seems quite clear…” Zaerini slowly said, pocketing the letter. Something about its phrasings bothered her, as if she ought to recognize it. Or was it the handwriting? Something… “Too clear.”

“Yes,” Edwin said, nodding. He was constantly watching over his shoulder, as if he expected something to spring at him at any moment. “Far too easy. I do not trust all these clues that throw themselves so eagerly into our laps. It reminds me of something my teacher once told me, actually. ‘Edwin,’ he said, ‘if you keep stumbling over clues you can be almost certain that somebody meant for you to do so, and you’d better watch out or you’ll find yourself flat on your stomach with your nose in the mud.’”

Rini nodded. “I agree. It’s all too easy. Somebody wants us to buy into this bird story, for one reason or another. I have a feeling that the bird itself will be equally ridiculously easy to find. Let’s go find it. After all, there’s no better way of dealing with a trap than to spring it when you yourself choose to do so.”

Five minutes later the redheaded bard entered a round chamber, dominated by a gigantic birdcage. Inside, a small golden bird flittered to and through, tweeting. “Well, well,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “And here’s the little tweety birdie. How very convenient.”

“Leave it,” Jaheira said. The druid’s eyes were dark with anger. “Harpers or not, I dislike being used.”

“No,” Edwin said with a malicious smirk. “I have a better idea. Let’s bring the bird along. If it is Montaron, all is well and good. And if it isn’t…well, then I am certain we can find a use for it.” He briefly whispered something into Zaerini’s ear, and the half-elf’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, nice!” she said, smiling at the wizard. “I didn’t know this species was edible…and with honey too, I love honey! Can I have the wings? They look like they’d be very crunchy.”

“Of course,” the wizard magnanimously said. “Whatever you wish, though as I cook it all parts will of course be delicious. (And I’d quite like to feed her with my own hands too…”

“Child!” Jaheira said, sounding shocked. Then she noticed the other half-elf winking at her and composed herself.

“Yep, sounds like a good plan to me!” Zaerini cheerfully said as she stepped inside the cage and headed towards the now quite panicky bird. “Here tweety birdie birdie…this pussy cat is hungry!” A swift swipe, and the bird struggled inside her fist. She took care not to hurt the struggling animal as she stuffed it inside one of her bags of spell components.

Can I have the legs? Softpaws asked.

Sorry, Softy. I’m not really going to eat it, I only said that to scare it.

Ah, you’re no fun. Tormenting the food is one thing, but you’re supposed to eat it afterwards.

Well, this isn’t exactly an ordinary bird, I think. I’ll make it up to you. Chicken later, how’s that?

Oh, all right. As long as it’s fresh.

About twenty minutes or so later Zaerini once again headed downstairs. There was a feral grin on her face that ought to have worried those Harpers who saw her, if they had known her better. This was caused partially by what she was carrying in her component bag, and partially by what Minsc was carrying in his extra large backpack. Oh yes. The trap was about to be sprung indeed. And it would be in the way she wanted it to.

Edwin was the last of the party to exit the building, and before he did he paused to give the statue of Elminster a disdainful look. “Stupid old meddler…” he muttered. “Pointy-hatted boy-toy of Mystra, thinks he’s so wonderful just because he’s lived a long time. (And I still haven’t forgotten the way he leered at her.)” Quickly incanting a summoning spell, he pointed at the statue, than smiled widely at the result. A flock of about thirty pigeons had settled upon Elminster’s marble shoulders, nose, and head, and were energetically and messily doing what pigeons have done to statues since the dawn of time. The statue had an imploring and disgusted look in its eyes. Edwin dusted his hands off, a satisfied smirk on his face. “Much better,” he said. “Pity it wasn’t the real thing.”