Cards Reshuffled

It is certainly good to have your party members take initiatives of their own. However, sometimes I really wish they’d limit themselves to taking initiatives that I have already approved.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

“My lady,” Anomen eagerly asked, “How much do you know of my Order of the Most Radiant Heart?”

Uh Oh… Zaerini thought, taking another sip of her wine to give herself a moment to think. Let’s see…somehow I don’t think I ought to bring up that Helmite who got himself struck by lightning when he tried to attack me. The hint in the song was enough. “A little,” she said. Nice, diplomatic answer.

Anomen looked even more pleased than before, and he smiled earnestly at her, looking almost boyish. “You have heard of it? That is good. I have always been in awe of the Order, ever since I was a child...a force of righteous knights and paladins in a brotherhood of arms. We exist to serve, but we follow no commands yet those of our hearts and our conscience. 'Tis a rare thing that can stand up to the full array of the Order's armies, my lady.” He frowned briefly. “I do not understand why the Order does not take control of the Council, personally. It could do far more to turn this into a fair and equitable land, don't you think?”

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Politeness or honesty, that’s the question. “Anomen, I’m not an expert on Amnian politics, and I won’t pretend to be, but I don’t really think that would be such a good idea.”

“What? Why?”

“Well…as it is now, Amn is ruled by money, right? Not very nice, but at least I know where I stand with money. But I wouldn’t want to be ruled by the Order and their ideas of goodness, let me tell you that. How do you suppose they feel about me for example?”

Anomen frowned, looking concerned. “My lady?”

“I’m a Bhaalspawn, remember?” Rini whispered. “Plenty of those self-proclaimed ‘good’ folk in the Order would like nothing better than overseeing my execution. At least the Council doesn’t mind, as long as I have money.”

“No…I cannot believe that! You are not evil, my lady, nobody could believe that!”

The half-elf sighed. Anomen might be a few years older than she was, but right now she felt about twice his age. “Let’s not talk anymore about it right now. But promise me you won’t discuss my parentage with any of your friends in the Order. I trust you, but I’d rather not trust them.”

“Of course, my lady. My word is my bond.”

It was at this moment that Jan returned to the table with another tray of drinks. However, it seemed that he had also managed to find himself some company. A dwarven warrior in sturdy chainmail was marching along behind the gnome, giving surly glares to anybody who passed to close by him. Few people did, which may have been at least partially caused by the large axe he carried. The dwarf had a dour face and his dark and braided beard was flecked with gray, showing him to be into his middle years.

“Good news!” Jan said, sounding very chirpy. “Now that the druid is well again, we’ll need another commission, and it looks like I’ve gone and found us one. This fine dwarven gentleman is Korgan Bloodaxe, and he’s in need of an adventuring party to help him out with something.”

“Drink hail!” the dwarf said in a thickly accented voice. “Wassail for all! I be curious, friends. I'm scouring for a band of desperate men to aid me in a gallant task. Ye look like ye keep undertakers in a brisk trade. 'Ave ye courage and time fer a tale?”

“Undertakers?” Anomen protested, sounding insulted. “Certainly not, we are champions for goodness and righteousness and…” Then only a few muffled protests escaped as Rini clasped her hand across his mouth.

“Excuse him, please,” the half-elf said and winked to the dwarf. “Too much to drink.” She fervently hoped that Korgan wouldn’t notice that Anomen’s cup contained plain carrot juice. It would be a shame if the dwarf took off in disgust before she heard what he was offering.

“Blasted bloody lily-livered humans,” Korgan scoffed and climbed onto a chair. “Cannae take their drink, what good are they?” He opened his mouth and shouted ‘ALE!’ in a voice to make the rafters of the Copper Coronet tremble. When a startled serving girl scurried over with a foaming tankard he drank deeply from it, then used his hand to wipe the foam from his beard. “Aaaaaahhhh! Belly up, comrades, and let Korgan flail the bladder for a spell. A fortnight past, me fellows and I were in the midst of obtaining an ancient text fer our patron when a skirmish visited our midst. Vile words, alas, became a lake of bloodshed. So it goes the sacred grimoire ne'er made it to our benefactors hand. And now he awaits its arrival with a zeal reserved for a grog-blossom in an alekeg. The scuttlebutt is the pay is handsome and worthy of note--sacks of loot and odd magics. The volume sits not far from 'ere and the bibliomaniac he paces the floor in the meantime.”

A grimoire, is it? Rini thought. Could be lucrative. “Who would we be working for?” she asked. “And what kind of book is it?”

The dwarf lowered his voice a little. “Pimlico collects books just fer the pleasure of collecting. Arcane, bizarre, peculiar; it matters not. Upon hearin' of a curious map, chart or book e's travelled countless leagues to obtain it, fearful of entrusting his commission to anyone else. This were his first outside hire. As fer the book itself, it nay matters to me what lays 'twixt its skins. I'll not risk knowing I've bled for Elminster's memoirs or a Drizzt loblolly recipe. 'Tis called the Book of Kaza.”

Never heard of it. Eddie might know though, I’ll have to ask him. Sounds like a good deal though.

“Where is this book then, my axe-wielding friend?” Jan asked. “Somewhere involving dungeons maybe? Maybe even…dragons?”

Korgan swallowed yet another large mouthful of beer before answering. “In some hobnail's tomb over in the lower crypts of the Grave District. It's nay abandoned but rumors and half-truths only scare the young and infirm. Keeps the curious away, me guess.”

Could be there are undead there. But I’ve fought undead before, I can do it again. “All right then!” Rini said. “We’ll be joinin’ ye to plunder this tomb o’ its riches…er…that is, it’s a deal.” She watched the dwarf spit on his palm and hold his hand out to her, mentally shrugged and did the same thing, then felt her fingers go numb in a crushing grip. At least he’s likely to be a good fighter.

“That it be!” Korgan said, a pleased grin appearing somewhere inside the massive beard. “I’ll be meetin’ ye on the morrow, down the graveyard. Keep yer weapons sharp, and we’ll have ourselves a fun little killin’ spree with the deadies. Har!”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll look forward to seeing you in action.”

“So ye should, lassie, so ye should! This ol’ dwarf be the fiercest Battle Rager ye’ll ever see, an’ even the weakest could lop yer skinny little neck off in one blow.”

“Oh. How…reassuring.” Battle Rager, is it? And he’s a dwarf. I think I’ve just found myself the ‘Rage’ card. Now let’s see where he leads me.

“My lady,” Anomen protested as soon as Korgan had disappeared into the crowd again, “I have grave misgivings about this venture. That…that unwashed creature assuredly cannot be trusted!”

“Oh, come on, Ano!” Jan said. “Sure he’s a little whiffy, but who isn’t? Well, I’m not, but that’s due to Jan Jansen’s patented Odor Repellent, of course. I use it all the time. Just rub some in my nose and I can’t even scent you sitting right next to me.”

“Why you little…”

“Never mind,” Rini interrupted. “Anomen, we’re going to be working with Korgan, not marrying him. What’s the big deal? Unless you want to kill him over an issue of personal hygiene? No? Good thing, as Jan says we’re likely to get pretty smelly ourselves on the road.”

“That may well be the case, my lady, but hopefully we will not reach quite those levels of scruffiness. You would think the fellow had never heard of a beard comb…”

Meanwhile, Edwin had finished inscribing his new scrolls into his spellbook, and was preparing to come downstairs to join the others, feeling very pleased with himself. Not a single spell had been lost, and now his powers would be even greater than before. No demon summoning spell yet though…such a shame. But just wait, my day will come!

As he got up from his table, it was with some surprise that he found himself staring into a pair of steady green eyes. Softpaws was sitting on the floor, watching him. The cat certainly seemed to get into any place she wanted, and never mind locked doors or windows. “Well, hello to you!” he said, bending down to stroke the feline along the back, earning himself a contented purr. “And where’s your mistress, hmm? (Obviously not where I would prefer her to be, which is right here, and more specifically, on my…)”

She’s downstairs, the cat spoke inside his mind. So is Anomen.

“What?! I’ll…”

And so is Jan. Don’t worry, she’s only having a drink.

“That is what you say, but I know his sort! The pompous, uptight, self-important, bragging fool! He’s been after her since the very beginning, I can tell! Probably just wants to bag somebody with elven blood, these humans are all alike, you know.”

You are human.

“Well, except for me! (And maybe a rare few others, but that’s not the point.) Anyway, he doesn’t deserve her. Only I do. The perfect woman deserves nothing less than the perfect man.”

Then go court her properly, male! Preen, make yourself big, yowl loudly in the night…

“Yowl? I’ll have you know my singing is perfectly in tune, and just as superior as the rest of my talents. I could have been a professional singer, you know. (Except for that traumatic experience at the Opera House.)”

You yowl. But that’s what cats do, it’s all right. Also, you could try grooming her.

Now, this sounded very promising. “Grooming her?”

How about giving her a good lick when she least expects it? That should tell her you’re serious.

Edwin tried to visualize this scenario. It was tempting, oh so very tempting. Eventually though, sense won out over desire. “No. Much as it would please me to do so, it is still too early for that. (And she would probably sock me in the nose.)”

How about hunting? Go kill something really big and dangerous for her, preferably something nice to eat!

“Well…that I could do! I am after all extremely well read about various monsters and dangerous creatures, and none of them are deadlier than I. (And then there’s the Nether Scroll…now that should also properly impress her.)”

Then go to it, wizard! I’ll come with you to make sure you don’t mess things up.

However, once Edwin got downstairs he had hardly started looking around for Zaerini before a stranger approached him. It was a tall man with a haughty look on his face, and he was wearing an extremely gaudy red tunic covered with gold embroidery. Edwin instantly adored it. “You there,” the man said, “I would have a word with you. I am called Lord Jierdan Firkraag, and I bid you stand a moment and hear what I offer.” His voice was just as arrogant as his face was. “You are traveling with a certain Zaerini of Candlekeep, are you not?”

“And why would you think that?” Edwin asked. He had no idea who this stranger was, and excellent taste in clothing or not, he wasn’t about to trust him.

“I know much, Edwin Odesseiron. My eyes see far, and right now they like what they see. Yes, I know who you are, and your friend. I see you both as capable and headstrong, with the ability to handle what e'er is thrown at you. Just the type of creatures that I am looking for.”

At least the man is properly informed of my great skill, Edwin thought. And that of my Hellkitten of course. “You have done your research well,” he said. “What do you need of me? (Probably some ludicrously simple task that will be an insult to ask of a man of my talents.)”

Firkraag smiled, showing a row of very white teeth. It seemed a friendly smile, but it never quite reached his eyes. “A moment of your time,” he said, “and I will explain it all to you. Now that I have met you, I certainly believe we will be able to reach an agreement…”

Jaheira, too, had gone downstairs, but had taken care to wear an obscuring cloak that concealed her from her friends. She didn’t feel up to any more fussing, not after Minsc having put her to bed in a very undignified manner. But a person could only sleep for so long, and now she felt the urge to move about a little. She was already much stronger, almost herself again.

Right now the druid was speaking to Lethinan, the rat faced owner of the Copper Coronet, trying to hide her distaste. This was business, not pleasure. Harper business, despite not having been given it through official channels. But Bernard was an old and trusted friend, and he had warned her that he suspected there were bad things going on at the Copper Coronet, things that happened between locked doors. He had urged her to look into it, and she would do so. It is the right thing to do. I am certain Zaerini will see that. Besides, now that Ployer has been dealt with we need some other mission.

“Other…entertainments?” Jaheira asked, in response to one of Lethinan’s evasive comments. “That does sound interesting. Please, tell me more.”

“Hrrrrmmm…you want to find out for yourself,” the man said with an unpleasant smile that was probably meant to be conspiratorial. “Bernard has vouched for you and your friends, and a small…entrance fee…will take care of the rest. Talk to the guards at the back of the room, and you will soon have all the…entertainment…you desire.”

“Very well,” Jaheira said. “I believe I shall do just that, and soon.”

And what of Minsc? Minsc was very happy, and so was Boo. Jaheira was well again, his Witch was happy, and Boo was safe from the greedy hands of that sneaky little gnome. All was well with the world if his Boo was happy, his Witch was happy, and his other friends were happy as well. Yes, he was even happy enough to try being nice to the Evil Wizard, since that was what his Witch wanted, silly though it seemed. But he would try all the same, now that he had been out to buy a big supply of nuts for Boo.

However, before Minsc could reach the table where his friends were sitting, somebody tugged hard at his shirt, making him stop in his track. It was a fairly tall young girl with reddish-blonde hair and blue eyes. Her blue riding dress marked her as a noblewoman, but it was dusty and torn here and there, and her hair was a little ruffled. “Is anyone willing to hear my plea?” she asked in a loud voice that had a plaintive whine to it. “Anyone? You all know me, I've helped some of you! Is this the thanks I get? I've helped lots of your kind!” As pleading as the words sounded, they still had a distinct note of command to them, as if the girl was used enough to getting things done her way that she had real problems fathoming the fact that people were ignoring her.

“Minsc is always happy to help!” Minsc said. “Just tell me what is wrong, little girl, and Minsc and Boo will be Heroes for you.”

For the first time in several days, Nalia De’Arnise smiled.