Cards Reshuffled

When you’re an adventurer, you’ll get plenty of job offerings, and picking and choosing between them can sometimes be very tricky. After all, it’s not as if people are obliging enough to tell you what their real motives are if there’s a chance for some deceit.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

Tolgerias the Cowled Wizard was feeding the ducks in the Government Park pond. He had been doing so for some days now, on a daily basis, certain that the contact would eventually turn up. How could she not, when her close friend and companion was held by his own organization? No, she would show, if only to satisfy her curiosity. If only she’d show a little sooner though. Tolgerias had never realized just how dull ducks were. They swam about in little circles. Sometimes they dipped their heads into the water, bottoms sticking up in the air. He kept hoping that one would drown, for variety’s sake, but so far it hadn’t happened. On the ground they were even worse. They waddled. How was it possible for any bird to look as stupid as a waddling duck? Not to mention the noises. Those insipid ‘quacks’ that grated in his ears like a fork scraping across a blackboard.

Tolgerias gritted his teeth, throwing the stupid birds some more bread crumbs. It wasn’t as if he had a choice. While the Cowled Wizards were immensely powerful, they didn’t have sole dominion over the city, and the business he wanted to conduct had to be kept secret. It wouldn’t do to let it become public knowledge that he meant to assassinate a local noble in order to gain personal power. Even if it was a noble of a declining family, that sort of thing would still cause…unpleasantness. No, secrecy had to be kept, and that meant using a cover for his meeting with this…Bhaalspawn. Why couldn’t I have thought of a different one though? I could have pretended that I wanted to hire her as a…a secretary or something. Or that I wanted her to procure spell components for me. Or it could have been a ‘chance’ meeting in a tavern. Anything, really, that doesn’t involve ducks, unless they’re fried and served with onions.

“Quack?” Tolgerias closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. Then he looked down. There was a fat white duck sitting on top of his left shoe. It was looking up at him with a very soulful expression, or possibly with a deep craving more bread crumbs.

“Shoo!” the Cowled Wizard hissed. “Go away!”

“Quack? Quack Quack!”

“I said go away!”

“Quack? Quaaaaaaaack!” Squinting happily, the duck proceeded to relieve itself on top of the wizard’s shoe.

That’s it. My cover be damned, it’s time for that duck to die! Horrid Wilting…yes…that should show the nasty little beasts…”Incantus…pulca…imper…AAAAAGHHHH!”

“Affront to Nature! You will leave that bird alone, or suffer the consequences!”

Tolgerias’ eyes were overflowing with tears of pain, and he had stuck his hand into his mouth, trying to nurse his wounded fingers back into life by sucking on them. That…that awful woman had just walked up to him and hit his hand with her quarterstaff, quite breaking his concentration! She deserved to be taught a lesson for that, and by Mystra he would…. Then Tolgerias screamed again as the by now very agitated duck bit his toes, and after that he was hopping on one leg, moaning with pain, as the affronted bird waddled away towards the water, quacking with rage. “You…you harpy! Just who do you…” Then he caught himself. The woman standing in front of him, a scowling brunette half-elf who would likely have seemed attractive if she didn’t look as if she was about to rip his throat out…the woman wasn’t alone. More importantly, he recognized both her and some of her companions from the description he’d been given. There was a gnome…a large tattooed fellow…a younger man in shining platemail. Then there were some more attractive females. One was a Drow of all things, he could see that beneath the hood of her cloak, another one a sultry dark-haired beauty in the most revealing dress he’d ever seen outside of a brothel, very inexpertly hidden by a cloak, and the third…yes, the third was the one. A red-haired half-elf, with unnerving eyes, like burning amber. The Bhaalspawn. “Forgive me,” he said to the redhead, instantly letting his voice settle into an urbane tone. “I was a little…surprised. You would be Zaerini of Candlekeep, I take it? I have a proposal for you…and as we talk, try to look inconspicuous. Here, have some bread crumbs. You can help me…” He grimaced. “You can feed the ducks.”

Zaerini wasn’t entirely certain what to make of this odd, duck-hating Cowled Wizard. He was a tall, thin fellow, with a scraggly little brown beard, and a muscle in he left cheek twitched slightly every time he laid eyes on one of the ducks frolicking in the pond. He certainly didn’t seem very trustworthy to her, and given a choice she’d rather not have anything to do with him. But he might know something about Immy. I can’t afford not to check it out. And then there was that Reading I did. He’s the Six of Coins, I know it, and he’ll lead me to something important. Perhaps he’ll actually keep his word. “So,” she said, after she’d heard the Cowled Wizard’s proposal. “There’s this nobleman called Valygar Corthala who has killed two Cowled Wizards, and you can’t find him yourselves, you have no idea where he is. And you want me to do it for you, and bring him to you, dead or alive?”

“That is the task, yes. Do not fear.” Tolgerias smiled. “Do not fear. I will reward you well, and will also look into the matter of your missing friend…”

Rini hesitated for a moment. That’s what the Shadow Thieves said too. Not that I know if I can trust them. Or him. But I have to find Immy, and if he can help me do it more quickly…She looked down on her sword, resting in its scabbard at her left hip. A dark blade, an assassin’s blade. I remember all those assassins coming after me, from Candlekeep and onward. Isn’t this ironic…maybe next I’ll be getting myself fitted for a spiky armor. And I’d do it too. For Immy’s sake, I’d do almost anything. “All right,” she said. “I’ll see what I can do.” She deliberately let some of her frustrated anger shine through, and she could feel the heat of it in her blood. It was getting easier…easier…ever since Irenicus. She felt a momentary satisfaction as she saw Tolgerias’ eyes widen with surprise, and possibly with fear. Out of the corner of her eye she also noticed Edwina giving her a very startled look. “But you had better keep your part of the bargain, got it?”

Tolgerias cleared his throat a little, and then looked annoyed. “Perfectly,” he said. “Now be off with you…we cannot be seen talking for too long.”

“Fine,” Zaerini said, and turned to leave. As she did, a mischievous grin suddenly crossed her face, and she started singing a happy, cheerful little song that instantly stuck in the mind. Happy duck…happy duck…play with bubbles, quack, quack, quack! The agonized groan coming from the Cowled Wizard made her feel much better. “Come on,” she told her friends. “We’d better get away from here, I think…before more of those Beshabans turn up.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, choosing the streets away from the crowds in order to avoid unwanted attention. “My lady…” Anomen eventually said. He sounded deeply concerned, and there was a worried frown on his face. “I must confess I have some misgivings about this. If this man is a criminal, he assuredly deserves to be brought to justice, but the Cowled Wizards act for reasons of their own.”

“I agree,” Jaheira said, nodding. She didn’t sound chiding this time though, nor actively disapproving. Simply skeptical, and…worried? “Child, I know you will do as you will…I simply ask you to think carefully before you act on this, and to keep your balance.”

I’ll try. But it’s not that easy. It would be far easier if I could simply convince myself that this Valygar is a bad person…but that’s not how it works. That’s the way it is in stories, where there are heroes and villains and everything is simple. But it’s not that way in real life. And I would be lying to myself if I pretended that it was. In real life you simply don’t know. “I’ll try. I promise I’ll try to think this through properly.”

“That is all I ask for, child.”

Viconia simply shrugged. “I fail to see what the problem is. If it benefits you to kill that male, then do so. But also beware of treachery, that mage is likely to turn on you as soon as you have done as he asks. You must be strong enough that he dare not.”

“Boo will help little Rini!” Minsc proudly stated, holding his hamster up. “Boo knows Evil when he sees it, and he will sniff this Evil Killer out wherever he hides, and then attach the Teeth of Justice firmly to his backside!” Boo blow his cheeks up, and seemed to be rolling his eyes. “See? He is tracking already!”

Rini couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Thanks, Minsc,” she said, smiling at the ranger. “I know I can trust you and Boo.”

“You know,” Jan said, eyeing the hamster greedily, “that reminds me of my uncle, Larz Jansen, who fancied becoming an assassin.”

Edwina sighed loudly. “Not again… (And this is one tale I’d really rather not be exposed to.)”

“No, no Red! I haven’t told it yet, are you getting a little forgetful perhaps? As I said, Uncle Larz wanted to be an assassin. Trained very hard, he did. Why, he could hit a turnip across the street, in the middle of the night! And he could slice through one with one swoop of his sword, or smash it to pulp with his bare hands!”

Edwina frowned. “So what was the problem?”

“Oh, nothing. Not if he’d stuck to assassinating turnips. Unfortunately, his first target was this very irritable griffin, and Uncle Larz had never bothered to learn to sneak, since turnips aren’t very big in the ear department.”

“Yes, yes,” Edwina snapped, brushing her hair out of her eyes with an impatient gesture. “He got eaten by the griffin and failed the assignment, correct?”

“Not quite…the griffin did eat him, but it also ate the poison supply he was carrying, making his employer very happy, since he got the job done and didn’t even have to pay. Poor Uncle Larz…he’s the one who taught me the crossbow, you know. Anyway, it goes to show that in contract killing it’s very important to be able to tell a turnip from a griffin. It’s the most basic lesson, really.”

Oddly enough, the corners of the wizard’s mouth were actually twitching a little. “I…must remember to pass that one on if I get the chance,” she said. “Such a gem of advice deserves to be spread, I think.”

“Why thank you, Red! Anyway, if this Valygar person is a turnip, then all is well, but if he’s a griffin, then we should at least try to give him a belly ache.”

“I’ll hope for the turnip option,” Rini said, grinning at the gnome. Her dark mood was already easing up a little. It was hard to be really gloomy in Jan’s presence, he tended to deflate that sort of thing in seconds. Then she thought of something. “Edwina, what do you think of all this? You haven’t said.”

The wizard thought about this for a few moments. “I think you should be very wary around the Cowled Wizards,” she said, sounding a little distant. “But it could certainly be profitable. And you did manage to put him in his place, I think, very neatly so. (Yes…she certainly did. Almost like…)” Once again there was that odd look in her eyes, as if she was seeing something else.

“Edwina? Is something wrong?”

“No,” the wizard said, shaking her head. “I was simply…reminded of somebody else for a moment.”

Zaerini waited for an explanation, but none came, and the wizard still had that pensive look in her eyes. Something going on there…apart from the gender thing, I think. And I have a feeling I’d better find out what it is before it explodes in my face.