Cards Reshuffled

Of all adventuring professions available, the one I think I understand the least is that of the cleric. Being that dependent on a deity for your skills is not something I envy, powerful as they can be. Of course, clerics deal with this in different ways. Some will follow their chosen deity faithfully, never deviating from his or her scriptures. Others…will not.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

“I don’t know about the rest of you,” Zaerini said, “but I think it would be a very good idea for us to get out of this place for now.” She nervously looked about the large Government Square, all neat hedges and sparkling fountains, with elegant mansions partially hidden in the cool shade beneath the tall trees. “I know those Beshabans are all dead, and the Cowled Wizards who were on the scene, but you never know…there were other witnesses, and somebody might decide to sell us out.” She gave Viconia a quick smile. “Though I’m happy that things turned out as they did…I’d have helped myself if I’d been there.” As she turned to Edwina, her smile became even warmer. “But it seems that wasn’t necessary…I should have known you’d be able to handle yourself…Dread Wizard.”

Edwina preened proudly, puffing herself up so much it seemed she was about to burst. “Naturally, Hellkitten!” she said, toying with her dark hair in what Rini had to admit was a very alluring manner. “I can handle anything the world throws at me, and with ease.”

“Most certainly, Odesseiron,” Viconia murmured, a sly glint in her eyes. Her teeth glinted like pearls against her dark skin as she smirked. “You have, after all, advanced into being female, a vast improvement if you ask me. Doesn’t it feel superb to no longer be a member of the weaker sex?”

“What…” Edwina said, looking equal shares angry and perplexed. “How did you…”

“Oh, you are fairly easily recognizable…I know how to look for patterns of movement, intonation and such, and not only superficial traits.” Again, a small smirk. “Besides, you gave your name before…Edwina. Though I must say you have the makings of a fine female. You must tell me all about this magnificent accomplishment later.”

“I think we had better discuss this elsewhere,” Jaheira interjected. “As our Fearless Leader said, we could attract unwanted attention here. Let us go, and then we can make further plans.”

“Right,” Rini agreed. “Let’s go back to the Coronet, and then decide where we go from there.” As they headed off through the streets, she found herself walking next to Viconia and watched the Drow carefully. The priestess looked much as she remembered her, beautiful and alluring, in a commanding way, her long white hair providing a dramatic contrast to her dark skin as the silky strands peeked out under her hood. “So…” she said after a few minutes. “What brings you to Athkatla? I thought you meant to settle down in the Beregost area? And how did you wind up on top of that pyre, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I had my reasons for leaving, abbil,”, Viconia said, and for a moment some dark emotion glinted in her eyes. Anger…but more than that. “The climate in Beregost turned out to be less than suitable for skin of my color.”

“Oh…I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“And as for this sty of a city…phaugh! I had done nothing to deserve such treatment, I sought only to be left alone and had harmed nobody here. But a man happened to catch sight of my face beneath my hood, and that was that.”

“The Drow are known for their evil ways,” Anomen stated. Then he flushed lightly. “Though I had not known they could be so striking.”

Viconia gave him a considering look for a moment, then turned to Zaerini. “The male isn’t entirely displeasing to my eyes, if blunt in manners…I commend you on your taste, abbil.”

“My taste?”

“Why, yes! Every female should start her collection early, so that she will have ample time to gather a suitable number of strong males. But remember to evaluate his prowess carefully before granting him any privileges, or you may be disappointed.”

Zaerini was afraid to look at Anomen’s face. “Ah…Anomen is not…”

“That’s right!” Edwina spat, as she hastily inserted herself between the half-elf and the Drow, grasping Rini’s arm tightly. “He isn’t! (And if he tries to get any ‘privileges’ I will make certain to acquaint him with my prowess at spellcasting…close and personal.)”

“What is it to you, lady mage?” Anomen haughtily stated, taking Rini’s other arm and squashing it against him. “Your agitation grows steadily…methinks you need the calming presence of a husband to soothe your ire. Granted, we will likely have to pay him an enormous dowry first.”

As she found herself more or less dragged through the streets of Athkatla by the wizard and the cleric, both of them bickering vehemently, Rini turned her head to see Viconia wink at her. “Never mind, abbil,” the Sharran priestess laughed. “You can always run off with me, if you want somebody with sense…”

“The sun in Murann will tan an even bun!” Aerie said the words clearly, in the sweetest voice she could muster, and then gave lord Logum Eckel a look of radiant pride.

The nobleman jumped off the chaise lounge where he’d been sitting, grasped her by the shoulders and shook her. “Say it, woman! Say it again! Properly!”

I would greatly enjoy smearing your foul entrails all over the walls, using them to paint pretty pictures for my Mistress. “The sun in Murann will tan an even bun…my lord…” Aerie said again, smiling bashfully.

“Yes!” Lord Logum exclaimed. “YES! She’s got it! By Waukeen, I think she’s got it!” He clasped the Avariel’s hands in his, spinning her about. “I am a genius! I have taken this waif, this unformed lump of clay, and transformed her into a grand lady!”

One Flesh to Stone spell…that’s all it would take to turn you into a ‘lump of clay’ you pompous idiot. “Oh, my lord…” Aerie said, fluttering her eyelashes with practiced ease as she looked up at the nobleman’s flushed and excited face, counting the pores on his nose in order to give herself the perfect look of concentrated fascination. “…I could never have done it without you. You…you have shown me that life on the ground needn’t be so terrible after all…” …as long as there is suffering to spread, misery to cause, and hapless fools to torment… “…that I can find something else to fill my life…” …the service of my Mistress Loviatar, blessed be her name. “…and that I am stronger than most people would think.” Oh yes…that much is true. “And all because of you…my dear, dear friend.” She made a delicate blush spread across her cheeks. “And now…now I wish to ask you…if you would…”

“Oh yes!” Lord Logum said, sweating profusely. “Of course I will be happy to continue your education, dear girl. It will be my pleasure to make a woman out of you!”

“Oh!” Aerie exclaimed, intensifying the blush. “I…I didn’t mean…” Never give them what they expect, she thought, inwardly smirking at the confused look on the nobleman’s arrogant face. “Though maybe I might…some day…that is, I only meant to ask you if you would introduce me properly to Amnian High Society. I…feel I am ready for it…and I do want to make you proud of me.”

“Ah. Yes…yes of course. I need to prove my point after all, and demonstrate my keen and scientific mind’s accomplishment to those who doubted me. Very well. We will start out slowly…I’ll introduce you to the Jysstevs. They don’t live far from here, and the lady Jysstev is always fond of meeting new people. If all goes well, we will scale up from there.”

“Thank you, my lord,” Aerie said, delicately tucking a few strands of golden hair behind her ear. “You have no idea how grateful I am to you.”

In another place entirely, a red-haired woman with a feathered headdress walked across a floor that might have been marble, but was not. She was tall, taller than most men, but in this place she was dwarfed by the enormous thing that hung in the air before her, glowing with a poisonous green light that made her hair look almost black. The woman grasped her spear tightly after adjusting a couple of straps on her armor. “Ah, my Lord,” she said, an ironic smile playing on her lips. “How good it is to bask in your presence once more.”

SPARE ME YOUR PLEASANTRIES, WOMAN, an enormous voice boomed out of the green light. I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE, BUT IT CANNOT BE TO PAY YOUR RESPECTS. DO YOU THINK I AM UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? OF WHAT YOU ARE PLANNING?

“Of course not, my Lord,” the woman smirked. “You could not help but notice, could you? Pity you didn’t guess it earlier…before your sad demise, that is. But then, I always seemed so loyal and devoted, didn’t I? So utterly trustworthy?”

NONSENSE. YOU SEEMED LIKE WHAT YOU ARE, A BACKSTABBING WITCH, AS TRUSTWORTHY AS A MIRAGE. A PERFECT PRIESTESS OF MINE, IN OTHER WORDS. YOU LOT ARE ALL LIKE THAT. OR WERE.

“Then why did you trust me, foolish god?”

I NEEDED SOMEBODY TO ARRANGE THE PRACTICAL SIDE OF MY PLAN. YOU WERE THE ONE BEST SUITED FOR THE TASK.

“Of course I was!” the woman screeched, her voice grating like a rusty nail scraping across a blackboard. “I was your high priestess – but I will soon be far more!” Her voice lowered to a sibilant hiss. “How do you enjoy your prison, my ‘Lord’? A pretty little place for a dead god’s spirit to spend eternity…or such time as remains until I can find all the Bhaalspawn. And then I will be the Lady of Murder – and you will be less than dust! Do you hear that? DOOM AWAITS THEE!”

There were a few moments of silence.

PERHAPS OBLIVION WOULDN’T BE SO BAD – AT LEAST I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO HEAR YOUR ANNOYING VOICE AGAIN. YOU’RE GIVING ME A TERRIBLE HEADACHE, AND I DON’T EVEN HAVE AN ACTUAL HEAD. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD BECOME GODDESS OF IRRITANCY INSTEAD.

“How dare you speak to me that way? Take that back or YOU SHALL SUFFER!”

HOW, EXACTLY? I’M ALREADY DEAD, REMEMBER? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, KILL ME? UNTIL ALL MY CHILDREN ARE YOURS, YOU CANNOT TAKE THE THRONE, YOU KNOW THAT. AND YOU MAY JUST BE SURPRISED BY THEIR RESOURCEFULNESS.

The woman in the feathered headdress frowned, snarling angrily. “What are you saying? You aren’t planning anything, are you?”

MY DEAR LITTLE PRIESTESS – WOULD YOU HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO TELL YOU IF I WERE? AMUSE YOURSELF WITH YOUR LITTLE GAMES AS YOU WILL. PLAY WITH YOUR FOLLOWERS, AND YOUR ARMIES. IN THE END, YOU WILL FALL.

The red-haired woman spat out a curse, and turned around to stalk out of the chamber. As she walked away, the mocking voice of the dead god followed her.

OH, AND ANOTHER THING, MY PRIESTESS…THAT OUTFIT LOOKS QUITE RIDICULOUS.