In The Cards

Those who think that cats are simply soft and adorable pets would do well to remember that cats also have very sharp claws and teeth. And that they don't balk at using them.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

It was cold and rainy the next morning as the adventurers set out on their way for Beregost. When they finally got there in the late afternoon they were all wet, cold and thoroughly miserable. Rini and Imoen were both shivering, Edwin kept complaining that his robes were twice as heavy as usual, and even Jaheira had stopped saying that 'a little rain is perfectly natural and you simply need proper clothes'. It didn't improve Zaerini's mood much that the first person they met turned out to be that redrobed mage that she and Imoen had met on their way to the Friendly Arm Inn, the one with the pointy hat and the smug attitude.

"Well now", he said, long white beard bobbing up and down as he spoke, eyes twinkling, "our paths cross once more. I suppose proper introductions are in order, as we will no doubt meet again. My name is Elminster. I've heard nothing but tales of thy exploits in the time we have been apart. It would seem that thou art destined to have quite the impact on the Sword Coast. Quite the burden for one so young."

Elminster! Zaerini could scarcely believe that he actually stood in front of her. The man was a myth, a fable, a living legend. She was also rapidly coming to the conclusion that he was a smug git determined to meddle in her own affairs. Still, it wouldn't do to anger him, at least not too much. She didn't want to spend the rest of her days as a toad.

"I was not aware that my actions were common knowledge", she asked cautiously.

"Perhaps not common knowledge, but everything is plain for those that know where to look. As it is, I am aware of thine efforts and accomplishments. Thou art quite adept, as Gorion predicted. All that remains is to determine motive."

Determine motive, is it? And just what gives you the right to do that, old man? Your age? Your power? Or that ridiculous headgear?

"My motives are my own and no one else's", Rini said, her voice cold. Softpaws leapt onto her shoulder and joined her mistress in giving the ancient wizard a disapproving glare. If Elminster was fazed by this he didn't let it show, however.

"Thou've certainly taken it upon thyself to straddle the morality fence", he said, "but I cannot truly fault the results. I shall leave the future to thy discretion, and we shall see what happens. I do have one piece of information for thee before I go, though 'tis hardly a surprise, I am sure. The bandits that thou dost seek make a habit of traveling in the northeast. With this, I shall take my leave."

Rini wasn't about to let go that easily however. Summoning her newfound power of mimicry she spoke up again, this time in an uncanny imitation of Elminster's own voice. "And who determines your motives, old man?" she asked. "What were your motives when you stood back and allowed Gorion's murder to happen? When you decided that you shouldn't 'interfere'? What are your motives in following me about? I can tell you this much. I will not be your tool, and I will choose my own path, not one you prod me onto. What do you say to that?"

"I say", Elminster said with an infuriatingly enigmatic smile, "that I shall continue to observe thee with much interest. Thou art spirited, and wilt no doubt make it worth mine efforts." Then he walked off.

"Yeah?" Rini yelled after him. "Well, observe this then! And if I catch you 'observing' me through my bedroom window I'll yank your beard out, one hair at a time!" She raised her arm in a very rude gesture that she had learned in the Candlekeep barracks and that she never would have used in Gorion's presence.

"Perhaps", Jaheira said, "the next time we encounter an incredibly ancient and powerful mage, you could refrain from doing that sort of thing? I think my heart almost stopped just now."

"Sorry", Rini muttered, "but that guy really yanks my chain, you know."

"Could you please drop that voice?" Edwin asked. "It's really rather unnerving." He glared after the retreating back of Elminster and sniffed disdainfully. "Elminster this, Elminster that. Give me 2000 years and a pointy hat, and I'll kick his arse!"

"You know", Rini said, "I wouldn't mind seeing that myself. Or helping, for that matter. But right now there's this other mage in need for some serious arse-kicking. We really shouldn't keep Tranzig waiting any longer. He might decide to dig up another idiot assassin, and that's more than I can handle right now. Besides, Feldepost's Inn is the best in town."

Before they could get that far however a small girl came running up to them, an eager look on her face. Her blond pigtails were so wet that they were dripping, and she looked like she'd been playing in a mud puddle. "Zaerini!" she yelled in a shrill voice. "Zaerini! Someone in the Jovial Juggler gave me a gold piece to come find you!"

Wow, Rini thought, news travel fast. We only just got here, after all. Well, if this kid turns out to be another assassin she sure didn't get paid much…

"How do you know my name?" she asked. "And who is it that wants to find me?"

The little girl smiled brightly, proudly displaying the gap where her front teeth used to be. "Why, everyone here is talking about you. You're the Heroes who saved the Nashkel mines! My momma says that even though we don't like those folks from Amn, there's no reason anyone should have to suffer so..."

They know about it already? You'd almost think somebody'd been in a hurry to spread the word. Well, it might get us a few perks…

"Heroes…", Edwin moaned quietly. "And who cares about my impending suffering? (Nobody, that's who. I wonder if it's possible to change my name and run off to become a pirate.)"

"So who is it that is willing to pay to find me?", Zaerini asked, pushing her dripping red hair out of her eyes to better be able to see the child, and trying to ignore the urge to sneeze.

"Her name's Officer Vai", the girl said, "and she's with the Flaming Fist. And you needn't worry, she's real nice!"

"Let's hope so", Rini said. "Anyway, thanks for telling me, kid. If I give you another gold piece, could you go back to this 'Officer Vai' and tell her that I'll come to see her as soon as possible after I've taken care of a few other things?"

"Sure!" the girl said with a wide grin. "I'll do that."

"Thanks again. Oh, look. Seems the coin was stuck inside your ear the whole time…" Pretending to extricate a gold piece from the little girl's left ear Zaerini was pleased to see the child goggle at her with wide eyes.

"Woooow!" she whispered. "I think I wanna be a mage when I grow up! Think I can, ma'am? Huh?"

"Perhaps. Now run along back to Officer Vai." The girl waved cheerfully and ran off, splattering the adventurers with large dollops of mud as she raised straight through a large puddle.

"Sometimes I wonder", Jaheira said as she wiped mud out of her eyes, "exactly what it is about small children and dirt that always seems to attract them to each other."

"Not just small children", Imoen interrupted. "Me and Rini got into that mudfight with Abduh only two years ago…"

"Yes. My point exactly."

Feldepost's was a very nice inn, Rini thought, and most importantly it was warm and dry. She went directly for the barkeeper, hoping he'd have forgotten that the last time she was here she'd killed that Marl fellow who'd accosted her. That sort of thing certainly made an impression, but perhaps not the one she needed at this moment.

"Y-you?" the man stammered. "What do you want now?"

Aw, nuts. "Look", Zaerini said with a charming smile, "I just need rooms for me and my friends, that's all. Nice rooms, mind you. We've been on the road for a while."

The barkeeper calmed visibly. "Ah", he said. "Th-that can be arranged. Will that be all?" He looked as if he ardently hoped so.

"Almost. I also need to find a certain person. A mage staying at this inn. I believe he goes by the name of Tranzig."

The man paled visibly. "I-I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't give out information on my other g-guests…Eeeep!"

Edwin had grabbed the barkeeper by the collar and was currently giving him a very cold and disturbing look, as if he was trying to calculate just how heavy his corpse would be. "On the contrary", he said in a low voice with death threats simmering just beneath the surface. "I think you would be amazed to learn how much information you will be giving out once I have supplied you with some proper…motivation. (Good one. Now let his imagination chew on that for a while.)"

"Up the stairs", the unfortunate man squeaked. "S-s-second to the r-right!"

"Thank you", Edwin said and let go. "See, that wasn't so difficult, was it?"

"Hm", Zaerini said as she walked up the stairs, "that was very…efficient. Not exactly the thing to improve public relations, but impressive all the same. I'll have to try it some time." She wasn't certain about it since it was so dark on the stairs, but she thought the Red Wizard blushed briefly.

"Well, of course", he said. "I am nothing if not efficient. (And I'm certainly not about to let the scruples of some barman keep me from showing this Tranzig the folly of provoking me.)"

"Speaking of which", Imoen said, "I think we'd all better pipe down. This seems to be the place. Want me to pick the lock?"

"Won't be necessary", Rini said with a predatory grin. "I have a better idea." She knocked on the door and called out, this time mimicking the voice of the melodramatic assassin who had come after her in Nashkel. "Tranzig", she said. "Open up. I've got good news."

There were a few seconds of silence, and then a suspicious voice spoke from behind the door. "Nimbul? That you?"

"If you don't open up right now it will be Death coming for you. Now let me in."

The door opened to reveal a mage in green and orange robes that made him look a little jaundiced. He had brown hair with a large bald spot that he'd vainly tried to comb over, and his scraggly beard and beady black eyes made him resemble a bedraggled rat more than anything. When he saw strangers rather than the visitor he'd been expecting a nervous look crossed his face. "Why do ya bother me?" he asked. "Can't ya see that I'm in a hurry to get outta this damn town?"

Oh, I can see that, Rini thought. As you should be.

Go on, kitten, Softpaws added, sounding pleased. You've trapped the rat nicely. Now…go on and play with it.

"So you certainly seem to be", Rini said in a voice dripping false sympathy. "Perhaps you could tell us WHY you are in such a hurry? Could it perhaps have something to do with a deal you made recently? Not trusting Nimbul to do his job, are you? Or have your superiors given you other orders?"

Tranzig was starting to sweat heavily and his nose was twitching in a nervous manner, but he wasn't ready to give in just yet. "I'm not gonna tell youse guys anything", he defiantly proclaimed, thus declaring himself to be either stupid or suicidal, possibly both. "Git outta my face."

"You will not be rid of us that easily", Jaheira growled. "We know you are up to no good. Now tell us everything you know." Most mortals would have caved in once faced with the threatening glare the druid leveled at Tranzig, but not he. Since he didn't seem to be the brave sort Rini decided that he had to be stupid.

"Ya know what I'm up to, eh?", he spat. "Well, maybe somethin' ya don't know about is my magic skills. Ya might not believe me, but if you ain't outta my face in the next 5 seconds, I'll blast ya to kingdom come!"

At this point Edwin couldn't contain himself any longer. "Oh, please", he said with a contemptuous sneer. "You? A mage? You're nothing but a common thug. If you can't even cope with ordinary pronunciation and grammar, how do you expect to deal with the language of magic? Tell me, what words would you use to conjure a demon? 'Git youse lazy bones up 'ere and start workin'?' You'd be lucky if the demon contented itself with boiling your corpse for soup and didn't decide to use your wretched soul to wipe the dishes. (Honestly, I thought that assassin was pitiful but his employer is even worse. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. No, in fact I think we've gone through the bottom of the barrel and dug ourselves straight out of the wine cellar.)"

Tranzig might not have been very smart, but at least he was enthusiastic. "I warned ya", he screamed, "now you pay the price!" He immediately started chanting what Rini recognized as a Lightning Bolt spell.

The stupid idiot! If that goes off we could all die, himself included! Without a single thought about it the bard pounced on the casting wizard like a cat pouncing on a rodent, knocking him down. She then straddled his prone body and put a dagger to his throat, the one she had been given by the revenant. A small drop of blood trickled forth where it bit through the skin. "So", Rini purred, "perhaps you would like to rephrase those words a little, hmm?"

"I give up!", Tranzig gasped, his eyes wide and fearful. "Please let me live. I'll tell ya anything ya wanna know."

"You know", the bard said, her eyes glittering like amber, "I actually agree. You will tell me anything I want to know. And if you do, and if you behave, then who knows? I might even let you leave."

"Okay....okay, I'll talk. I'm a messenger fer a man named Tazok. I just ferry messages between him and a fat mage named Mulahey. I meet with Tazok at either Peldvale or Larswood, east of the Friendly Arm inn. Tazok pays me good, so I keep my yap shut. Can I go now?"

"Not just yet", Zaerini said, putting just a little bit more pressure on the dagger. "Where can we find this Tazok?"

"Tazok? You can find him in the Wood of Sharp Teeth. He's the captain of two groups of bandits. Their camp's always movin', so I don't know how much luck you'll have in findin' them. Can I get outta here now?"

"Yes. Yes you can." The dagger moved swiftly, drinking the mage's life in a heatbeat. "I said I might let you leave", Zaerini said as she got off the corpse. "I never said anything about letting you live."

"But…", Imoen protested. "Did you have to do that? He seemed so harmless…"

"No, Immy", Rini said, shaking her head. "He's the one who recently hired an assassin to come after me, remember? And just now he tried to kill me himself. If I'd let him get out of here he'd probably have gone straight off to warn his superiors, and that would put us all in danger, not to mention that he might cause all sorts of other mischief. No, a cornered rat may seem harmless, but that doesn't mean it isn't carrying the plague." She rapidly searched the mage's body, finding a wand of Magic Missiles, a ring with a protective aura about it and a letter.

Tranzig,

I am perplexed as to why Mulahey has not communicated with us in some while. You are to go to the mines and find out the condition of his operation. You are also to collect any iron that may have been stolen by the kobolds. Our next raid will most likely take place at Peldvale, or Larswood, so visit either of those areas and track us back to our camp.

TAZOK

"At least he seems to have been telling the truth about Tazok", Jaheira said. "And it confirms Elminster's words as well."

"Yes", Edwin agreed. He was giving the bard a very strange look. "What you just did was very…practical", he said. "A rare display of intelligence, undoubtedly fleeting. I quite agree that it would have been a logical mistake to let this man live, though it surprises me that you were so capable of facing the consequences of that line of reasoning. Not all people are. (Yes, she is full of surprises, this one.)"

"Thanks", Rini said. "I think. And now I think we should get back to the Jovial Juggler and get rooms there instead, as well as meet with Officer Vai."

"The Jovial Juggler?" Imoen asked. "What's wrong with this place?"

"Oh, nothing. Let's just say that I'd prefer not to be around in the morning when the maids come to clean this room, that's all. Dead bodies tend to create a bit of a stir."