In The Cards

Black and White. Such simple words. And for so many people they hold simple meanings. Right or Wrong. Good or Evil. Darkness or Light. But there is beauty in gray, as well as in twilight. And in conflicts there will be often be grievances on both sides, once they have gone on long enough. Ah, who cares? If the world was simple I think it wouldn't be half as exciting and wonderful as it is.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

Zaerini was extremely relieved once the group neared Nashkel. Under other circumstances the trip could have been an uneventful one. Just a few random encounters with wandering gnolls and hobgoblins, nothing much to worry about. However, there was the added complication of the two mages who seemed to have taken it upon themselves to drive her up the wall. Edwin and Dynaheir couldn't agree on anything, and if they passed within ten feet's distance from each other they immediately started trading poisonous jibes. If one of them didn't start the arguments the other one always did, and if one of them stated that the sun would rise in the east the other would protest out of principle and claim that it would rise in the west.

By now Rini was fed up with it all, and she had almost given up all hope of getting back to Nashkel before the two spellcasters came to blows. It didn't seem to be just the professional enmity between the Red Wizards and the Rashemani Witches either, they both acted as if they had some sort of personal score to settle. Both denied that however, as well as ever having met before. And for all their differences they both seemed very eager to remain with the group. Rini had made it perfectly clear to them that only one mage would be required, and that she would be very displeased if either one of them were to suffer any convenient 'accidents' while travelling with her. She wouldn't have that on her conscience. Once she got back to Nashkel she would have to make her decision, and she hoped it would be the correct one.

The half-elf first considered Dynaheir. And Minsc, for obviously the pair would never consent to be parted. Dynaheir was elegant, at least once she had managed to clean up her robes a bit. She was polite, even formal, with an archaic pattern of speech that Rini found rather wearying. As a mage she seemed to be skilled, apparently primarily interested in invocational spells. She was prudent and dutiful. Also pompous, dull, without imagination and firmly convinced of her own infallibility.

It wasn't so much that Dynaheir had refused to make any mention of her reasons for travelling the Sword Coast that irritated Zaerini. Edwin hadn't done that either, neither had she for that matter. It was more that the Witch had seemed so genuinely surprised and shocked by the question, as if she honestly expected everybody she met to just smile and nod whenever she said something, and then leap to obey. And she was preachy. She made constant comments on Rini's behavior, language, morals, even the way she wore her hair and the kind of food she liked to eat. All the time wearing that smug little condescending smile that hinted that the half-elf ought to be grateful for such a perfect creature to have descended from the heavens to point out her faults.

Even Jaheira wasn't that annoying. The druid knew when to stop, and besides she had been one of Gorion's closest friends, so she had a right to be a little protective. Rini had decided that Jaheira and Khalid both seemed to genuinely care about her, and she was grateful for that, even if the druid still could do with a little teasing now and then.

Now Edwin was a different matter. The Red Wizard was in his own way as arrogant as the Witch, perhaps even more so. But he had a different way of showing it. He was haughty and impolite for the most part, sharp sarcasm dripping from every other sentence he spoke. But he could be an amusing conversationalist when he wanted to, and unlike Dynaheir possessed a dark sense of humor. Most importantly, while he was quick to pounce on individual mistakes, he at least didn't preach. And he had kept his word and started to teach her a few more basic spells, which meant that he could be at least partially trusted.

It almost has to be Edwin, Zaerini thought. He may drive me crazy, but at least I won't be bored. Pity Minsc won't dump the stupid b…witch. Him I like. Then her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of another rapidly escalating argument behind her.

"You presume to judge me? Clean up your own filth, Witch, before you go sweeping the floor of another house. How much blood have the Wychlaran spilt in secret over the years to cement their rule, I wonder?" As Zaerini turned around she saw the two mages walking side by side, angrily glaring at each other. Edwin made a swift and cutting gesture with one hand to illustrate his point. If the tone of his voice was anything to go by it was fortunate for Dynaheir that he hadn't been carrying a blade. Minsc kept close by his Witch, frowning dangerously.

"That is different", Dynaheir said, turning her nose up and sniffing. "My Sisters rule righteously and for the common good of all. Thy evil brethren are nothing but murderous plotters and schemers who work for their own benefit and theirs alone."

"Well, at least we're honest about it! Oh, and don't give me the 'common good' line. I know about your 'common good'. That means the Witches' idea of common good, which strangely enough always seems to coincide with what's good for the witches."

Dynaheir flushed, deeply enough that it was clearly visible even with her dark skin. Then she turned to Zaerini. " I should keep an eye towards Edwin", she said. "One can only expect treachery from his kind. Even now he seeks to undermine your faith in the ultimate virtue and justice of my sisters' goals. Goals that we would gladly lay down our lives for, as well I know."

"Or those of others", Edwin said, his voice now a low and dangerous hiss. "As well I know! (But if it comes to laying down the lives of Witches, I will be happy to assist. No magic will be necessary, I will cut her living heart out and squeeze it to a pulp.)" With an obvious effort he regained some measure of calm and addressed the bard. "This witch deceives you with her lies! I tell you she is evil!"

"Can the two of you just…" Rini tried. Her efforts at diplomacy were no good.

"Evil to thy cause?" Dynaheir said. "Perhaps. However, those of decent nature know otherwise."

"And who will be the judge of my nature, Witch? You? And here I always thought that the Wychlaran have no sense of humor. Perhaps you should be a comedian rather than a mage. You would do well with pie on your face, I think. You could try to convince the pie of the absolute righteousness of you telling it what to do, and after listening to you for a few minutes it would probably be suicidal enough to drop off quietly."

Minsc was really getting anxious by now. He had drawn his sword and pointed it threateningly at Edwin. " Stand ye not too close! Dynaheir is under my protection! Whoever tries to harm her shall feel the edge of my blade, the sole of my boot, and the bite of my hamster!"

Edwin ignored him completely. "There is no protection if you goad me further, witch!"

"Any protection would be courtesy, not necessity", Dynaheir responded coldly. "My power is no less than thine!"

"Her power is nothing without the will to use it! Step from behind your excuses and let us end this here!" The Red Wizard's voice was sharp with anger and his hands moved slowly towards his bags of spell components. Then he paused as Minsc's sword almost sliced his fingers off.

"Lay a finger on what I protect and forevermore you will answer nature's call with a hook!" The giant man was now almost beyond himself with protective wrath and Rini had no doubt that he meant exactly what he said.

Dynaheir obviously saw this as her cue as she raised her hands triumphantly. "Thou shalt not question my will once I present thy neck to the Othlor!"

"Yesss", Edwin snarled. "Now at last you show your true colors, Witch. But if you expect me to be easy prey you're going to be sadly disappointed. I was taught long ago how to deal with your kind."

"Enough!" Zaerini screamed, stepping between the two spellcasters. She just hoped they would come to their senses before blasting her. "Stop this at once! I will not have it!" She then closed her eyes and hoped she wasn't about to get turned into a toad. When she dared to open them again she was faced with two mages, both of them crossing their arms across their chests and watching her with what could only be described as sulky poutiness.

"It was his fault", Dynaheir said.

"No!" Edwin interrupted. "It was her fault!"

"I don't care whose fault it was!" Rini said, her yellow eyes flashing like fire as she gritted her teeth to keep from strangling the pair. "At this moment you are both still members of my group, and I will not have one of you killing the other. Not now, not later, not ever. I mean it."

"My honor has been slighted", Dynaheir said, sounding rather haughty. "That wrong must needs be righted."

"I would say something about how your brain is bloated and blighted", Edwin said, "but I will leave the rhymes to the professionals. (Nevertheless, this score must be settled. Vengeance will be taken.)"

"If you insist on trying to kill each other I will take neither of you along with me", Zaerini said. "If I can't trust you in this, how can I trust you with anything? Now, fight it out as you will, but no killing. And not until we get back to Nashkel. I don't want us to be ambushed by brigands while the two of you are busy pulling each others hair out."

"In that case I propose a Wizard Duel", Edwin said. He had got a rather pleased and preoccupied look on his face, as if he was thinking something over carefully. "Not to the death, just the nonfatal curses."

"I accept thy challenge", Dynaheir said stiffly. "And I will smite thee for thy impudence."

"Try it, Witch. As a child I owned the entire collection of Famous Curses cards, and I still know them all by heart. (Not to mention the fact that my intellect is vastly superior to your own tiny, underdeveloped mind.) Once I'm done with you, you will beg me to kill you."

The two mages started walking again, somewhat calmer than before. They were still bickering furiously, but at least they were only disagreeing about the rules of the upcoming duel and detailing with gruesome meticulousness how they would devastate each other. Zaerini was happy that they wouldn't be trying to slay each other for now, but she still felt a great deal of unease about the upcoming event. She had a feeling that the 'no-killing' rule didn't mean 'no-maiming'. Well, at least they both seem to be reasonably pleased for now, she thought. Looks like the one thing they can agree on is how much they both want to blast the other one to smithereens, and I've helped them reach that conclusion. World Peace, I guess I'm your newest champion.