All That Glitters...20

Chapter Twenty


"Eugh!" Aerie said at the first whiff of the sewer air. "We're...we're going down...there?"

"Yep. Unless you can think of anything else that can be defined as a ‘sewer under the Temple District,'" Kal confirmed distastefully.

"But it's so...so..." Aerie made a face.

Yoshimo grinned. "Sewers are the same in all the cities of the world, little one. Dark, malodorous, and always associated with heroic quests of some kind."

"I wouldn't call this a heroic quest, Yoshimo," Kal said a little sharply.

"Certainly. But you are going into the sewer nonetheless. They always tend to be fertile adventuring grounds, for some reason or another, and this is true everywhere I have been. I would say that adventurers in sewers are the most common event that does not make it into heroic tales."

"Well, I've only been in one other sewer, in Baldur's Gate...but Baldur's Gate was also the only other major city I've been in. Two cities, two sewers and a one hundred percent sewer-entry rate. You may just be on to something, Yoshimo." Kal began climbing down.

"I've seen a lot of sewers, myself," Cel noted. "Maybe there's some kind of magical field around sewers that draws in interesting things." Kal stepped off the ladder and looked around.

"Interesting things, hm? A different way of putting it." Kal drew out Cel, and blazing blue flame illuminated the tunnel. "Looks like just a plain sewer."

Everyone scrambled down the ladder, and the party set off through the sewers, boots sloshing around in the city muck.

"Yuck! S-something's trying to...to crawl up my leg!" Aerie shrieked, jumping to the side of the sewer. Indeed, a thick, viscous green slime had crept halfway up her ankle, and there was a wet slurping sound as she tried to pull it free.

"Slimes. Another prolific product of the city's wastes. And mostly harmless," Yoshimo said, grinning again.

"Help...help me get it off!" Aerie shook her leg. "Kaaaal! KAL!"

"It's just a slime...oh, all right. Hold still." Propping Cel up against the wall, Kal reached out with his claws and carefully sliced the offending slime off of Aerie's leg. It dropped into the water with a wet plop, and flowed away slowly in the murky water.

Aerie watched the slime drift off. "That...that was it? It felt so...ugh!"

"Mostly harmless, I said, did I not? Green slimes are the same things, all over the entire world," Yoshimo pointed out.

"Urgh...s-slimes and sewers and...Kal, I don't want to stay down here!" Aerie wailed.

"Aerie...Aerie, it's just a sewer, and we won't be down here too long," Kal said as soothingly as he could.

"But...but it's just so awful down here!"

"When adventuring, not every place is going to be the city or the forest, Aerie. Sometimes, you have to..."

She cut him off sharply. "Sewers and...this is all so, so dirty! And it feels so...confining! There...there was never anything like this in Faenya-Dail! This is just so...I can't...this isn't what adventuring is like, it's not what it should be...." Aerie began sobbing, but before Kal responded, he turned and held up a finger to Viconia. The message was clear. Don't even think it.

Viconia, caught with her mouth opening, just about to jab a comment at Aerie, inclined her head and stepped back, message equally clear. This time.

"It's not all of it, but everything has a darker side to it, and sewers are just one of those unpleasant things. You can handle it, right, Aerie?"

"Yes...yes, I can...be strong, if you want me to," Aerie said, trying to smile with tear-filled eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry," she continued, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "I...I just feel so useless. Without my wings...."

"Shush, Aerie. Your wings don't define who you are. Of course you're useful to this group. Useful and a lot more besides." And isn't that a mouthful of nothing, Kal thought.

"I...thank you for your kind words. They are good to hear, but...just words."

What else could she possibly want? I'm not going to fall to my knees in sewer muck and declare undying love for her, Kal thought, then reproached himself for the not-particularly-polite tone of it. For the millionth time he offered a prayer to Tymora that something might happen to get him out of this trap.

"I...will be fine, now. Let us...proceed?" Aerie asked hesitantly.

Kal smiled at her, though it was a little forced. "Let's go. The quicker we find this wizard's lair, the quicker we can get out of here."

The search continued in the sewer for the next hour, fruitlessly. A few random wandering monsters had been easily dispatched, but nothing else of significance was found. Yoshimo tapped what seemed like every brick in the walls. Then, as Kal rounded a corner, his boot connected with something with a loud thump. This was followed by a startled exclamation. "OY!"

"Terribly sorry," Kal muttered automatically, holding Cel in front of him to illuminate the corridor. Two dwarves, a human in mage robes, another couple of humans in armor. All of which had been looking in the opposite direction from the party as they turned the corner. One of the dwarves was brushing sewer muck off of his armor - Kal had apparently booted him partway along the sewer by accident.

"OY!" he repeated. "Strangers walking in our midst! Who's blasted job was it to keep watch? Spoiled our hidin' for sure!"

"Er, it was your job to keep watch," one of the humans observed.

Ignoring him, the dwarf glared at Kal. "Who dares ta kick the arse o' Tarnor the Hatchetman?"

The other dwarf started laughing at that one. "Har har har! Lots o'folks kick yer arse, Tarnor!"

Tarnor rung the aforementioned hatchet off of the other dwarf's helmet. "Shut up, Draug!" He turned back to the party. "Blank stares all around! I don't care who ye are, hand over your loot or I split your skulls wide! A thousand gold will do!"

"Eh? These sound like bandits, Boo says...but in sewers?" Minsc gave a great shrug.

"Yes, we're bandits! Now hand over your loot!"

"You're bandits in a sewer?" Kal asked.

"Hard of hearing? Yes, we're bloody bandits in a bloody sewer!" Tarnor answered, face reddening. "Bandits! In! A! Sewer! Now hand over yer gold before I have to pound those words into your heads myself!"

"You must get this a lot," Kal said lightly.

Tarnor shook his head. "Like you wouldn't believe." He imitated a high pitched voice. "Like, ‘Are ye really a bandit? Gosh, really?'" His voice dropped to a lower rumble. "And, ‘Ye bandits are idiots fer stakin' out a sewer!'" He returned to his normal tone. "And then there're the fools who think we're doin' some sorta secret mission for the Council of Six, or some foolishness like that. It's enough ta drive a bandit nutty, I tells ya."

"I'm guessing pickings are pretty slim down here, too." Kal's empty left hand scratched the back of his head unobtrusively, and made a slight gesture.

"We rob a sewer cleaner every day or two, it keeps us in business. Not much, though," Tarnor concluded, and his friends nodded sadly.

"Pardon me for my curiosity, but...why do you not simply roam the roads, like other bandits? In my experience, it is the most common area to find bandits, and I surmise that it would not be done in such large numbers if it were ineffective," Yoshimo said, picking up on Kal's motion.

"Because the roads are filled with officers, now! And after that big bandit organization near Baldur's Gate died, who knows where the law can strike next? And anyway, we have our little prizes...like you! Enough chitchat, hand it over now, or die!"

"Sorry, I'll have to pass. Aerie, what do you say?" Kal stepped aside and turned, and Tarnor looked past him. Aerie's response was an arcane syllable and a flinging motion of her outstretched arms, and Tarnor had one second to realize that he'd been tricked before the wave of confusing magic slammed into his mind.

"YOU!" Tarnor demanded of his henchman. "Give me the money now!"

"But Auntie Dee, I only took one cookie!" the man in mage robes pleaded to his armored companion.

The armored companion took out a green morning star and clubbed the mage with it. "You will not stand in my way! You can't keep me here!" He dropped the morning star and began pounding his head into the wall. "Let me out!"

"Damn! Old Man Gabbit's coming - run, run!" the dwarf Draug screamed at thin air. "Don't bother with the potatoes - take the mushrooms and RUN!" Draug backed up against a wall, then turned and sprinted directly into it. He slammed into it and bounced back unconscious.

Kal shook his head. Sometimes these confusion spells can be so weird. "Don't kill them," he said out loud. "Let's just tie them up and give them to Chief Inspector Brega as a present."

Yoshimo pulled out several coils of rope, and the party got to work. Kal and Minsc knocked out the bandits with heavy punches, and the others carefully removed valuable items from the unconscious bandits and tied rope around their hands.

"You did very well, Aerie," Kal said as they were both tying up one of the humans.

"It...it was nothing," she said, turning away demurely.

"Aerie, modesty is a good thing...but you need to acknowledge these things, because you aren't useless."

"It was just a spell...," she began.

"Just a spell? Aerie, do you see anyone else in the group doing what you did? Everything turned out for the best because of you, and only you."

She smiled - almost. "I am happy to hear your words. Perhaps you are right. I will think upon it."

"Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me, I have some trash to move," Kal said brightly as he dragged the tied up humans behind him. As he climbed the ladder, the smile dropped from his face. Ilmater's mercy, how much coddling does she want? He sighed. The things I have to do to keep this party together.