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Shadows of Doubt, Whispers of Truth Part I


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#1 Guest_Soris_*

Posted 17 December 2002 - 12:29 AM

Shadows of Doubt, Whispers of Truth Part I

Soris was not relishing the task set before him. They were to assist Solaufein in the rescue of the Matron Mother’s daughter from the clutches of the illithid. Solaufein had insisted that they had at least twelve hours to get into proper positions, but Soris had little faith in that estimate. Things never went according to plan.

Sure enough, not far from the city, they were ambushed by a group of adventurers. The group was good, but Soris and his party had seen much better during their travels. The battle went well, Minsc even thought things were rather boring, that is until the thief grabbed Viconia from behind.

“Die! Foul Drow!”

The man pinned her arms and tried to find a weakness in her armor through which to stab her. During the struggle, the hood of her cloak fell back, and the man got a good look at her face.

“You know,…It’s almost a shame…” His leering face taunted her.

Soris reacted without thinking. He flung a flame arrow. It seared through the thief’s armor causing him to wince. As he turned to locate his attacker, Soris whirled the Staff of the Magi and vanished. Seeing no one, the thief became nervous and redoubled his efforts to finish the struggling Drow woman. As he did so, five glowing balls of energy emerged from a point somewhere behind him. They flew through the air and slammed into his chest. The thief cried out in pain and frantically stabbed with his dagger, punching through the armor and cutting the flesh underneath. Viconia gasped. The thief dropped her.

“Viconia!” Soris screamed with rage and moved to engage the thief. The voice within him, the one he normally struggled to control became louder.

Strike where it is least expected. No mercy! Strike fast. There. There is his weakness! Kill him! The voice now screamed inside Soris’ head.

He aimed for the thief’s leg and was rewarded with a sickening crunch. The thief went down, dagger in hand.

“Mercy!” he cried. “I didn’t want to go on this stupid mission! I don’t want to die! Please, I beg you, mercy!”

Soris said nothing. He swung the staff with all of his might, and he kept on swinging until someone pulled him away.

**********************************************************************

“Soris! That’s enough! Just what do you think you are accomplishing? The man is dead.” Jaheira yanked Soris away from the fallen form of what had once been a man. Imoen took the staff from him and wiped the blood from it. Soris pulled away from Jaheira and stood by himself for a time, away from the party. Only after several long minutes did he judge himself safe enough to rejoin his friends.

He returned to find an enraged paladin. “He cried for mercy! He begged for mercy and you struck him down.” Keldorn stood in a state of shock. “Was that some disgusting attempt to appear Drow? Or perhaps your parentage is truly beginning to assert itself. I thought that perhaps you might be different than the others, but now, I’m not so sure…”

“Like the mercy you would have shown me, paladin?” Viconia’s temper flared.

“Leave this be!” Imoen broke in. “Soris hurts enough already. He doesn’t need to two to make it worse.”

Viconia and Keldorn were silent, but they continued to glare at one another. Imoen knew this wasn’t over. It was never over, but at least they would keep their hostilities silent for the time being.

Soris was grateful for Imoen’s intervention. He didn’t think he could handle Viconia and Keldorn at the moment. He was still in shock from the earlier event and the paladin’s reaction. Of course Soris hadn’t meant to kill that man, but the thief would have slain Viconia. He would never give in to the Bhaal urges. He couldn’t!

“No! That wasn’t…that isn’t…” Soris’ voice died before he could utter the last word. “me.” The word came out barely a whisper, and he could say no more.

That wasn’t me! I hate killing, of any sort. I…I couldn’t even squash bugs when I was little. The other kids made fun of me. That…couldn’t have been me. I wouldn’t have killed a man, not like that. That was murder. He wasn’t a threat. He begged for mercy! How could I do it?

It is what you are, my son.

NO! I will not give in. I will not!

You will, in time, if not for yourself, then for others. It is only a matter of time.

No, I will never…I will never embrace you.

Oh really, perhaps not for yourself, but what about the ones you love…the girl, Imoen…or perhaps…Viconia. That almost got you today. Perhaps I should toy with her more often. It produces such a satisfying reaction.

You had nothing to do with today. That was merely chance. You had nothing to do with it!

Are you so sure? Perhaps I have more influence than you thought. Perhaps not…You decide. Is it worth the risk? Think of the power you could have. No one would harm your friends. No one.

You have no power here! You are dead!

Am I, my son? You, after all, do exist, and as long as you do, I exist as a part of you. Your very existence insures my own.

NO! Leave me! Get out of my mind.

Very well, I will be silent, for now, but I will be here, always. Everyday, you grow weaker, make mistakes. One day you will fail for the last time. Until then, my son…


“It is not good for righteous butt-kickers to stand about. Soris, Boo wishes to know if we should go on?” Minsc brought Soris out of the horrifying conversation.

“Yes, we should move on.” Soris’ voice was distant. His attention was not focused on his present task. His thoughts drifted back to another conversation with his father.

Father, can I be a mage like you someday?

You may be anything you wish, my boy, but it will take many years of hard work and dedication if you wish to wield magic. It is a very large responsibility.

I can do it. I know I can.

Yes, I know you can, too. Just remember, the things worth having rarely come easily, my boy. Remember that, and you can truly become anything you wish.


Soris had taken those words to heart. He had worked hard, and made sacrifices. At the beginning, it had seemed worth it. It was hard, but he could pass the tests and see the results. Even after learning of his heritage, he still believed the old man’s words. Now, things were different. The price was too high. He was no longer playing with just his own life, but with the lives of others, and nothing he did seemed to matter. The things he wanted and dreamed about were being stripped away, one piece at a time. Everywhere he turned, he heard the voice of his dead father calling to him, beckoning to him. He fought it, but he didn’t know how much longer he could go on. It didn’t help matters that he felt increasingly more and more isolated. He had lost Khalid, and in losing him, he had lost a part of Jaheira. He had lost Dynaheir, and Imoen. Imoen was back now, but she was different. She was not the Imoen he had grown up with and would never be again. That part of her was gone, and he missed it. Then there was Viconia. He couldn’t understand why she had left. He had given her everything he had. He loved her, trusted her. Others thought it was foolish, but he didn’t care. Why wasn’t it enough? He still loved her, even now, and allowed her to guide him, but it seemed to him that even her light was growing dimmer. How long before it ceased to shine all together? One by one, the stars above him had begun to dim and fade away, only to be replaced by a single, blood-red moon.

A voice jarred him from his thoughts. “Soris! Stop this! This kind of weakness has no place in a Drow. You must be strong. We should go now. Solaufein will be waiting, and I doubt the fool has much patience. He may attempt to rescue the female on his own, and that would be disastrous, I’m sure.” Viconia spoke with purpose, and conviction.

How does she do it? How can she be so strong? What I wouldn’t give for even a tenth of that. Soris followed Viconia as she marched through the gloom.

***********************************************

They arrived at the location Solaufein had described to them. The Drow male was not present, and the place bore the scars of a fierce battle. Several umber hulks and a lone illithid lay dead, bodies growing cold on the stone floor of the cavern.

“Looks like we missed the party.” Imoen rolled the illithid over with the toe of her boot and made a face. “Yuck! I’d hate to kiss one of these guys.”

“Nor would you survive the encounter. Their touch drains the very intelligence from you. Besides, that one is female.” Viconia’s tone was chiding, but her heart was not in it. She worried about Soris. He still did not carry himself as he should after his incident earlier. He seemed somehow,…defeated. She did not understand it. She thought of him as invincible, the very image of strength. He was the son of a god. None could be mightier than he.

Yet he constantly denies his heritage and all that it offers. He cannot grow to his full potential without it. Denying it will only destroy him. I was right to push him away. His weakness will destroy him.

Despite her rationalizations, nagging doubts still remained. She pushed them away and focused on the task at hand. The mongrel druid and the addled one were returning from a scouting venture. Apparently they had found something.

Soris handed Viconia the small ring that Jaheira and Minsc had found.

Viconia studied the ring for several moments. “It is a Drow signet ring, but I do not recognize the house. I do not know the houses here as well as should.”

“It’s all right. You’ve been away for a while. We’ll mange.” Soris’ words were gentle. Viconia was comforted by them, and at the same time, they angered her.

“I do not need your sympathy, male. I suggest you keep your feeble human emotions to yourself while we travel the underdark.”

How many times do I have to tell you. You must be strong. Always. Even when you think no one is watching. If anything were to happen to you, Soris…”

She stopped. Thoughts like those were foolish, weak. She could not allow herself to hold them. She couldn’t.

She brought her attention back to the task at hand. Soris sighed heavily as they tried to plan their next move. He spoke, “We have to follow the tunnel. It’s the only lead we have, and without the Matron Mother’s daughter, we have no chance of finding the eggs.”

Jaheira and Minsc nodded their agreement, and to her surprise, Viconia saw Keldorn nod as well. She had not thought the paladin would agree to anything they did while amongst the Drow.

Imoen also agreed with Soris. Only Viconia stood to oppose him.

“Have you rivvan gone mad? That tunnel will lead to an illithid city. None who dare enter leave alive. Not even the Matron Mother would be foolish enough to order a direct assault. We should return to Ust Natha. We will be chastised, probably severely, but we will be alive.”

“So the cowardly Drow wishes to run away. Go then, Drow. I’ve never had faith in you anyhow.” Keldorn’s words were biting.

“I do not run, but I will not throw my life away. If I’d wanted to do that, I would have remained with Lolth. You do not know the nature of the foes we face. If we enter that city, we will not emerge.”

Soris watched the conversation. He could not allow this to go on. He needed his whole party to work together. If they fell apart now, they would all die. He trusted Viconia, despite what Keldorn and even Jaheira thought, he trusted her. He knew what she said was true, but they would have to find a way complete their mission and escape alive. They had too. He hardened his heart. “Viconia, my mind is made up. I am going down that tunnel. Are you going with me?”

No! This rivvin will get you killed.

“Yes. You have proven that you are incapable of handling yourself. Without me, you wouldn’t last ten minutes, jaluk. You decision is foolish, but you are the leader. I will follow you.” Viconia lowered her head, defeated. The gesture was powerful. Pain laced through the broken hardness of Soris’ heart.




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