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Fanning the Flames (long and OT)


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#1 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 02:38 AM

I've actually posted two stories in one quiz, this must be a record! The basis for this one comes from one of the romance dialogues with Anomen. In it, he tells the PC how he became a priest, and depending on what you say later, he tells the PC that she must try harder to fight evil and that she is selfish. I'm sure all the ladies remember that one fondly.

*growl*

I was always really offended by that, so here Devon gives him his come-uppance. But in a nice way, of course. ;)

I apologise for it being so melodramatic. And long.

* * * * * * * *

Fanning the Flames

The eastern horizon was brightening as Anomen strode the cobbled streets of Athkatla. Soft lilacs and roses, as delicate as a maiden's blush, flushed the sky overhead and heralded the dawning of a new day in the City of Coin. The street he walked seemed to be bathed in a pastel light, lending the Slums an innocence that would be lost in the harsh light of day. Garbage sullied the illusion of purity, blowing across the uneven paving stones under his boots and collecting against the walls of the buildings in small drifts. Beggars stirred in doorways and under balconies, shivering under their tattered blankets. The shutters of the poorer, wooden houses in this part of the city were still tightly closed against the last of the night, but candlelight gleamed between the chinks. Soon the citizens of the Slums would begin their morning chores, but for the time being, their homes remained quiet as they tried to defy the rising sun. Shadows lingered in the narrow alleys, concealing the thieves and assassins who would flee the coming light to find their beds after their night's work was done. Somewhere close by a dog barked. Anomen grimaced and adjusted the fall of his cloak over one shoulder as he watched for the stealthy movements that might betray someone watching him. He knew he could best a mugger thinking about earning a last coin, but still, a man walking alone needed to be cautious.

Irritation prickled his spine as he left the Copper Coronet behind him. The summons to meet Devon had come in the form of a small boy smeared with soot and what appeared to be coal dust. A smart mouthed little urchin, the boy had ordered him to leave the Coronet immediately and had haughtily refused to divulge any details. Anomen gripped the symbol of Helm that he wore on a chain around his neck as he walked towards the meeting place, searching for a calmness of spirit to drive away his dark mood. He had donned his armour with his usual care and precision, and the silver plates, polished to a high sheen, reflected the glory of the pinks and oranges in the sky above. As much as he took pride in his beloved armour and was thankful that he had a place, albeit a lowly one, in the ranks of the Order, he still chafed under its weight. There was no denying that the armour had been made for another man. It fit just a little too tightly across the breadth of his chest, yet was far too wide for his hips. The plates that protected his thighs chafed through the trousers he wore beneath them. Although an enchantment had been laid upon the metal, the leather straps were wearing thin and he needed to replace a couple of the buckles. It was a sharp reminder that just as his armour was borrowed, his time with the Order was likely fleeing away like the grains of sand in an hourglass.

The group had returned from their wearying journey to the Windspear Hills the night before last. The loathsome dragon, Firkraag, had been defeated, and yet their triumph had been soured by the death of the knights from his own Order. Anomen tried to quash the familiar fear that snaked its way into his heart. What if he was judged unworthy when his test for knighthood finally arrived? Although Garren had spoken to the Order on both his and Keldorn's behalf, Anomen still felt that the deaths had stained his honour. It had been a cruel trick that the dragon had played upon them to satisfy his malicious desire to discredit Devon.

Thinking about Devon made him tense in annoyance again. Who did she think she was to disappear for the better part of a day and night, only to imperiously summon him the next morning as if he had nothing better to do? As soon as the companions had risen from their beds after their trek the previous night, Devon had closeted herself with Keldorn and Jaheira for an hour, leaving Anomen to break his fast alone. Aerie and Nalia had been too busy laughing and arranging to go to the circus with Hendak and Minsc to notice him. Feeling excluded, he had watched with the bitterness growing within him as they continued to ignore him. Devon and Keldorn had left the Coronet together but not before Jaheira, glaring in annoyance, had passed Devon a purse that Anomen knew contained an enormous amount of their precious gold coins. Devon had never returned and he had been left to cool his heels. He had desperately wanted to go to the Temple and seek Helm's guidance in the matter of the dead knights, and to explain to Sir Ryan Trawl that he had not knowingly participated in the massacre, but no, Devon had abandoned him! And now she was expecting him as if she hadn't betrayed his trust. Obviously he meant very little to her. A black scowl stole over his face and he fought to leash his anger before he faced her.

At the end of the street, rising incongruously out of the stone morass of the dirty city, was a small garden. Some unknown benefactor in trying to bring a place of beauty to the Slums had planted a circle of beeches and elms. As Anomen approached it, the first golden rays of sunlight streaked over the horizon to shine on the emeralds and greens of the leaves. The garden had become woefully neglected over the years and the trees had been left to grow wild. Ivy twisted its way around the tall trunks and shrubs flourished, creating a shadowed grove that filtered out the noise of the city. Devon loved it. She had discovered it days ago and came here when she needed peace. Spending so much time amongst buildings and throngs of people, away from the quiet of the woods, unsettled her. Devon had admitted one afternoon that she sometimes felt as if the city walls were suffocating her, but here she could relax with the sun on her face and listen to the music of the birds nesting high in the trees. The garden was indeed an oasis in the heart of the city. It was a place where lovers might meet for a stolen kiss. He may even have enjoyed its beauty if he hadn't been in such a sour mood.

Pushing his way past the tangle of vines and thorns, Anomen's eyes were drawn to the woman who waited for him. She was sitting on the stone edge of a fountain, her head tilted to one side as she trailed her fingers in the cool water. She had left her hair loose this morning. Freed from its accustomed braid, the dark tresses tumbled halfway down her back in unruly waves. Small tendrils curled around her pointed ears and tickled her cheek. But for her leather armour and the longbow, Heartseeker, lying against her knee, Devon could have been a maiden dreaming of heroes and villains. Spray from the fountain drifted on the breeze to settle upon her face and head, and Anomen drew in a quick breath as the tiny drops of water glistened in the sunlight that pierced the leaves of the trees. For a heartbeat, the droplets captured in the silken strands seemed to glow with an inner crimson fire as if a jewelled net of firedrops had been laid over her hair. She was as bewitching as a siren.

“Good morning, Squire Anomen.” The dry tone in Keldorn's voice abruptly snapped Anomen out of his imaginings and he turned to see the veteran paladin sitting on the bench facing the fountain. Anomen's lips tightened as his irritation bloomed anew. Neither Devon nor Keldorn had returned to the Coronet and it shouldn't have surprised him to see them together. Devon was increasingly relying upon the old paladin's wisdom and experience and she was often with him now. It was another source of pain for Anomen. He felt useless with Keldorn's expertise overshadowing his own military knowledge. He was no longer Devon's right hand but a simple squire with dreams of one day becoming a knight. Anomen's gaze was drawn to Keldorn's gleaming armour and the engraved hilt of Carsomyr. A sick feeling welled in his stomach at the sight. With the fabled Carsomyr sheathed at his side, Keldorn radiated a knightly virtue that Anomen longed to attain. It only made Anomen feel more unworthy by comparison.

When Keldorn arched an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic silence, Anomen struggled to find his manners and return the greeting. His ill-fitting armour chafed but he stood stiffly and tried to ignore the discomfort. He could feel the other man's measuring gaze upon him. Assessing him. Judging him. Finding him weak and lacking.

Devon smiled up at him from the fountain. “Anomen, I'm glad that you're here. Now we can get going.” She rose gracefully and stretched the kinks from her limbs with a little sigh.

“Milady, you should be resting, not gallivanting around Athkatla. No doubt you were up all night. This can wait until later, I'm sure.” Anomen was amazed that Keldorn didn't question Devon about her whereabouts. Surely he should have asked what she had been doing all night with that purse of gold!

Devon shook her head. “I'm tired, Keldorn, but I'll rest later. I want to do it now.” It was true that Devon was exhausted. Anomen could see the shadows under her eyes and the strain around her mouth, but her blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as she glanced from Keldorn to Anomen. It was a marked change from the sadness that had shrouded her since they had freed the slaves and been forced to leave Minsc behind, and he was secretly pleased to see the change in spite of his resentment. “Shall we go?”

They left the grove as the sun completely rose above the horizon. Refusing to give any details about where they were going, Devon and Keldorn led the way, talking quietly. Following behind them like the lowly squire that he was, Anomen felt his frustration simmering. He struggled to remain quiet as Devon asked Keldorn about his meeting with Prelate Wessalen the previous day.

“It went as expected, milady. He understands that the deaths of the knights were the scheme of Firkraag, and he sympathises with your plight.”

“But will he help me find Imoen?” The strain of the search for her foster-sister sounded in Devon's voice.

Keldorn paused as if he were weighing his words carefully. “I…do not believe so, Devon. I am sorry. The Order rarely becomes involved in the politics of the Council of Six, and such an uprising against the Cowled Wizards would place the Order in an awkward position.” Keldorn left unsaid that the Order would be reluctant to help her because of her tainted blood, but Anomen realised that Devon knew. The tiny frown that suddenly creased her forehead gave her away.

“Politics.” Devon gave her head a little shake as if to dispel her musings. “It seems I am forever embroiled in such schemes. Imoen was…” Her voice caught as she realised what she had said. “…is good at that sort of thing. She had Duke Eltan and the other Dukes in Baldur's Gate wrapped around her little finger. I always envied her ability to smile and have people fall all over themselves to help her. Keldorn, I…I understand the Prelate's concerns.” She looked directly into the paladin's eyes as she said it and he nodded slowly in understanding. “But thank you for what you have done. We'll investigate the Unseeing Eye cult tomorrow, after everyone has rested. Perhaps the Prelate will see in time that I can be trusted.”

The anger seethed in Anomen's heart for being left out of the conversation. While he was relieved to hear that Prelate Wessalen did not blame them for the murder of the knights, he was still incensed at being deliberately left behind. Keldorn could have at least asked him to attend the meeting. After all, he was involved in this too, even if he was only a squire. And as for Devon…where had she been if she hadn't met with the Prelate? Obviously not doing anything important since she had nothing to show for her little adventure! He had liked her, admired her… By Helm, he had even developed feelings for her that the Order would disapprove of! The memory of their brief embrace after freeing the slaves rose up to haunt him and he inwardly raged at his stupidity. He had been blinded by her pretty face and had lost control. He would not let it happen again.

Anomen nursed his boiling resentment towards her as the road sloped down towards the harbour. Below him, the wharves of the Docks district teemed with fisherman returning with their morning's catch and sailors unloading barrels from the merchant vessels moored there. A fresh breeze blowing off the water billowed the brightly coloured sails and stirred Anomen's cloak. The salty tang of the ocean always reminded Anomen of his father's mercantile business, and the association was not a pleasant one. Thinking of his father only soured his mood even more as he walked sullenly behind his companions. He glared at Devon's back as she led the way along the road running beside the docks.

“Milady, I also managed to speak with High Watcher Oisig yesterday.” Anomen stopped as if he had been slapped, staring hard at Keldorn, and Devon automatically slowed her pace to allow him to catch up.

“Did it go well?”

“Aye, Devon. He indicated that he would be interested to talk with you after we have destroyed the cult…”

They finally seemed to realise that Anomen had halted in the middle of the street. Keldorn had a quizzical expression upon his face as he looked askance at the squire, but Devon's eyes were concerned. “Anomen? Are you well? You've been quiet all morning.”

He almost choked on his rage. Could she truly be so ignorant of his agony? “What…what is wrong? Perhaps it is the fact that you have abandoned me! Devon, you arranged for Keldorn to go to the Temple without me!” He was vaguely aware of the fishermen pausing in their mending of their nets to stare curiously at the spectacle he was making, but he suddenly didn't care. Releasing the anger festering in his heart felt too good. “Helm's beard!” he cursed, “I am a priest of Helm and yet you don't even require my presence in my own temple!”

“Squire, remember yourself!” Keldorn's voice cracked like a whip and his glare warned Anomen to be silent, but Devon pushed past him to stand before Anomen. She stared at him, her eyes glittering dangerously and her hands on her hips.

“Perhaps it is time that he and I had words,” she managed to say in a relatively controlled voice, “I want to get to the bottom of this.” Devon gestured for him to follow her to the sea wall away from the onlookers. He stood stiffly before her, every fibre of his being wanting to scream out his anger and frustration. She tilted her head up to meet his fierce glare. “You've been moody for days. Anomen, tell me what's wrong. How have I abandoned you?”

“You…you ignore my years of training as if they mean nothing to you. When I first met you, you relied upon my skills and military expertise, but now…now that he is here, I am worthless! Am I now a mere healer to bind your wounds while you and Keldorn go off adventuring? Well, since I rank so lowly in your estimation I should simply seek companions elsewhere!”

Chestnut tendrils lashed Devon's face as the wind blew her hair about wildly. She stared at him in disbelief, her lips tight with anger and her body rigid. A storm was rapidly brewing in her sea-dark eyes. “Anomen, don't be ridiculous. Heavens above, you know that you're my friend!”

“Am I?” Anomen took a step closer to her, pressing his advantage. A black elation surged through his body as his rage struck his target with the violence of a storm cloud. “Your callous disregard of my feelings shows that you are no true friend. Well, since you judge me so useless, I will judge you also.” Devon flinched at the venom in his voice. “You never returned last night and you did not bother to tell anyone where you were. At least Keldorn saw fit to send a message to the Coronet saying that he would rest at the Order headquarters! No doubt you were drinking and cavorting in a tavern, gambling away the money that Jaheira gave you. Yes, I saw her give it to you! You say that you are desperate to save your sister, yet the coins disappear and we have nothing to show for it. I thought you were a noble woman, Devon, but it appears that you are nothing but a selfish seductress. By Helm, if it had been Moira who had been captured I would have done anything, anything! to save her!” A shocked gasp was torn from Devon's throat and Anomen watched with satisfaction as her face paled and the bruises under her eyes darkened. She turned away from him but he forged on relentlessly. “I do not know what evil impulses your tainted blood drives you to do, but this I do know. You must try harder Devon, for I see little evidence of your fight against evil! All I see is one with purely self-interest, and that interests me not!”

A strange sensation settled over Anomen as the last of his hateful words struck her. He knew he had gone too far this time. On the one hand, the elation at finally leaching the poison from his soul tingled through his body, yet he was also in a state of agonising suspension, waiting for the inevitable explosion of her temper. He stared at her back. Devon shivered and drew the edges of her cloak tightly around herself, seeming to curl into herself the way a leaf might hide from the rain. Even the wind seemed to aid her, changing direction so that the long strands of her hair hid her face from his view. The icy silence stretched between them. Where was her expected outburst? A dreadful coldness quenched the fire in Anomen's heart. Always, when he had fought with Lord Cor, their malicious words had fanned the flames of fury even brighter. That was all Anomen knew. Devon's hurt silence sobered him in a way that Cor's heated words had not.

Finally she stirred. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Devon pushed away from the stone wall. Refusing to meet his eyes, she returned to Keldorn with her head bowed against the wind. “I…I can't go. You go on ahead.” Her quiet words barely reached Anomen's ears, even carried as they were on the sea breeze.

“Milady, will you be all right? We don't have to do this.” She forced a tremulous smile for the paladin and left. Anomen watched her walking towards the end of a pier with a sinking feeling in his heart. The sound of Keldorn clearing his throat abruptly reminded Anomen of his audience. He tore his eyes away from Devon's receding figure to see the other man studying him intently, frowning. “Come, lad.”

Anomen followed Keldorn as if in a daze, barely registering the shopfronts and fish markets that they passed. Merchants tried to tempt them with their wares, but Keldorn strode grimly towards his destination without slowing. He climbed a set of stairs to reach a second story shop with a chimney issuing black smoke, and opened the door. Anomen paused to glance once more at Devon. The elf had reached the end of the pier and seemed to be staring at the water below her, her arms still wrapped tightly around herself. With a last look, Anomen made himself follow Keldorn into the shop.

The incredible blast of heat hit him first, followed by the acrid smell of smoke and the sound of a hammer hitting an anvil. Looking around the forge, Anomen could see the myriad of tools arranged in neat rows and the assortment of half-finished weapons and armour that hung from the walls. The light from the blazing furnace reached into all but the darkest corners, illuminating the small grubby boy who had given Anomen the message to meet Devon. The boy grinned at him impishly before shovelling more coals into the furnace. The weapon smith wiped his blackened hands upon his apron before greeting Keldorn. “So, ye have returned then, Sir Keldorn. This be the boy, then?” The dwarf studied Anomen critically before nodding in satisfaction. “Aye, ye and the little miss have done well. I do believe it will be a perfect fit.”

“Squire Anomen, this is Master Cromwell, the greatest weapon smith in Athkatla.” Anomen nodded politely and tried to collect his stunned thoughts. He had heard of Cromwell, in fact, there probably wasn't an adventurer who had not. Tales abounded of the magical weapons the dwarf could create, for a price. A feeling of dread grew in him. The memory of Jaheira handing Devon the purse of gold suddenly made sense.

When Cromwell brought out the magnificent suit of armour, Anomen felt as if he had been hit in the stomach. Devon's gift was…wondrous. The red dragon scales shone in the light of the forge as if aflame, each overlapping plate gleaming metallically. Gold offset the brilliance of the ruby scales, and amazed, Anomen reached out a finger to lightly trace the runes that had been etched into the armour. It was warm to the touch, seemingly almost alive. Anomen turned his face away in shame. He had sorely misjudged Devon.

Keldorn assisted him in donning the light armour, as Anomen's fingers were suddenly clumsy. He fumbled with the straps and buckles as Cromwell chatted about the magical properties of the armour and how he had made it. “It has to be prefect, she kept saying, fit for a knight. Fit for a man who had slain a dragon. Well, I hope she be satisfied!”

The paladin looked at Anomen knowingly as he checked the fit of the breastplate, his eyes suddenly kind. “She was here all night, helping to work the forge and assist in the measurements. It is a token of her esteem for you. We never intended to exclude you, lad. Prelate Wessalen summoned me to meet him while we were discussing how to forge the dragon scales, and the High Watcher also requested to see me when he realised that I had returned. I say this because I do not wish to see Devon being unfairly blamed.”

“I…I thank you for the kind words, Sir Keldorn. I have behaved foolishly.” Anomen had never felt so unworthy.

Keldorn studied him for a moment, his fingers pausing in tightening a buckle. “Lad, perhaps you should be saying that to the lady.”

“Aye.”

She was still standing forlornly at the end of the pier when Anomen left Keldorn in Cromwell's smith. His heart thundered in his ears as he came up to stand behind her. Devon stared blindly at the water lapping against the wooden hulls of the ships that drifted in the harbour, still clasping her cloak closely to her with one hand. The wind playfully tugged at its woollen hem, swirling it about her ankles and causing it to brush against his shining armour. “My lady, I am truly sorry.” She remained silent. Panic rose swiftly within him and he fought to keep it down. By Helm, what if she never forgave him? Anomen swallowed painfully and tried again. “Devon, I…I was a fool. I let my rage consume me and I took it out on you. I sincerely apologise for my outburst, I did not mean the things I said, I swear it. And I thank you for this magnificent gift. I have not owned anything so fine since I left my father's house.” Devon stirred and shifted towards him as if listening, but she still held her face away from him. How could he make her understand the depth of his pain and anger at himself? Instinctively, Anomen reached out to cover her hand where she rested it on the rails of the pier with his own. He waited, ready to snatch his hand away if she became offended at his familiarity. She drew in a quick breath and her cold fingers tensed under his own, but she never drew away.

He stood there with her for what seemed like hours, waiting for her response. Her skin began to warm under his touch. “You were right,” she said finally. “I do need to try harder. I realised that the night we freed the slaves.” She turned to face him, pulling her hand out from under his, and he saw the spark of temper igniting in her eyes. “But you were wrong about Imoen. All I ever think about is how to rescue her, and I keep worrying about how she is. Never, ever tell me that I don't care about her! The only reason why I am not collapsing with fear is that I think I would know if she had…died.” She stumbled over the last word but her eyes still glittered.

“I know, my lady. I am truly sorry for my harsh words. They were cruel and unfair.”

The fire went out of Devon's eyes at that and she sighed. “Anomen, I accept your apology. And I'm sorry for making you feel as if you weren't needed. Nothing could be further from the truth. You…are going to stay, aren't you?”

“Aye, my lady, if you will have a foolish squire like myself.” She smiled at him then and it was as if the sun had come out from behind a cloud. He felt his spirits lifting.

“A selfish seductress?” Anomen coloured but Devon's words were said lightly.

“Ah, I was referring to Garren's child. I saw the way he looked at you.”

Devon laughed and gave him an appraising look. “I see. Anomen, I'm only teasing.” A strange expression flitted across her face as she studied him in his new armour. “You look handsome, Anomen, like a true knight. Scarlet and gold suits you.”

Anomen could feel himself blushing at the compliment. He tried to still his racing heart long enough to be able to come up with an intelligent reply, but the sound of someone running up behind him interrupted his thoughts. Devon frowned and he turned to see a man slowing, breathing hard. “Anomen Delryn, son of Cor, I bring dire news. Your sister, she has been murdered!”

“Moira?” He was staring at the messenger in disbelief, unable to believe that his beautiful sister could be dead. His chest was constricting and it was hard to breathe. The light dragon scale armour suddenly felt as if it were crushing him beneath its weight. The wooden slats of the pier were swimming in his vision and there was a roaring in his ears. Devon was grasping his arm in worry, trying to draw him away. “Moira…”



#2 Guest_Nyx_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 03:48 AM

> I've actually posted two stories in one quiz, this must be a record!

Try for three!

> The eastern horizon was brightening as Anomen strode the cobbled streets

> of Athkatla.

This entire paragraph set the scene perfectly; it was so beautiful! zan called your descriptions word painting, and I cannot agree more.

> It was a sharp reminder that just as his armour was borrowed, his

> time with the Order was likely fleeing away like the grains of sand in an

> hourglass.

I love how you blended this future plot development in; I never suspected you were setting us up for a twist!

> She had left her hair loose this morning. Freed from its

> accustomed braid, the dark tresses tumbled halfway down her back in unruly

> waves. Small tendrils curled around her pointed ears and tickled her

> cheek. But for her leather armour and the longbow, Heartseeker, lying

> against her knee, Devon could have been a maiden dreaming of heroes and

> villains. Spray from the fountain drifted on the breeze to settle upon her

> face and head, and Anomen drew in a quick breath as the tiny drops of

> water glistened in the sunlight that pierced the leaves of the trees. For

> a heartbeat, the droplets captured in the silken strands seemed to glow

> with an inner crimson fire as if a jewelled net of firedrops had been laid

> over her hair. She was as bewitching as a siren.

Images again. I need to draw her again, but make her more beautiful, next time. :)

> “Politics.” Devon gave her head a little shake as if to dispel her

> musings. “It seems I am forever embroiled in such schemes. Imoen was…” Her

> voice caught as she realised what she had said. “… is good at that sort

> of thing. She had Duke Eltan and the other Dukes in Baldur's Gate wrapped

> around her little finger. I always envied her ability to smile and have

> people fall all over themselves to help her. Keldorn, I…I understand the

> Prelate's concerns.” She looked directly into the paladin's eyes as she

> said it and he nodded slowly in understanding. “But thank you for what you

> have done. We'll investigate the Unseeing Eye cult tomorrow, after

> everyone has rested. Perhaps the Prelate will see in time that I can be

> trusted.”

Devon's personality is beginning to come out more and more. She has a formalish way of phrasing which I'm falling in love with.

> “Am I?” Anomen took a step closer to her, pressing his advantage. A black

> elation surged through his body as his rage struck his target with the

> violence of a storm cloud. “Your callous disregard of my feelings shows

> that you are no true friend. Well, since you judge me so useless, I will

> judge you also.”

Oohh, ouch.

> Devon flinched at the venom in his voice. “You never

> returned last night and you did not bother to tell anyone where you were.

> At least Keldorn saw fit to send a message to the Coronet saying that he

> would rest at the Order headquarters! No doubt you were drinking and

> cavorting in a tavern, gambling away the money that Jaheira gave you. Yes,

> I saw her give it to you! You say that you are desperate to save your

> sister, yet the coins disappear and we have nothing to show for it. I

> thought you were a noble woman, Devon, but it appears that you are nothing

> but a selfish seductress. By Helm, if it had been Moira who had been

> captured I would have done anything, anything! to save her!”

OUCH. He sure is on a rampage!

I expected that she was doing something sweet, but I didn't make the armor connection for a while. Aggh, poor Devon. Anomen can be pretty clueless at times. :)

> When Cromwell brought out the magnificent suit of armour, Anomen felt as

> if he had been hit in the stomach.

He deserves it!

> “It has to be prefect, she kept saying, fit for a knight. Fit for a man

> who had slain a dragon. Well, I hope she be satisfied!”

::sniffle:: Around here I actually got all teary eyed. ;x I can just see her buzzing around making sure everything is just right. Agh.

> He stood there with her for what seemed like hours, waiting for her

> response. Her skin began to warm under his touch. “You were right,” she

> said finally. “I do need to try harder. I realised that the night we freed

> the slaves.” She turned to face him, pulling her hand out from under his,

> and he saw the spark of temper igniting in her eyes. “But you were wrong

> about Imoen. All I ever think about is how to rescue her, and I keep

> worrying about how she is. Never, ever tell me that I don't care about

> her! The only reason why I am not collapsing with fear is that I think I

> would know if she had…died.” She stumbled over the last word but her eyes

> still glittered.

Devon! This entire scene is just beautiful. I love it, I love it.

> “A selfish seductress?” Anomen coloured but Devon's words were said

> lightly.

> “Ah, I was referring to Garren's child. I saw the way he looked at you.”

Uh huh. ;)

> “Anomen Delryn, son of Cor, I bring dire news. Your sister, she has

> been murdered!”

Oh no...

> “Moira?” He was staring at the messenger in disbelief, unable to believe

> that his beautiful sister could be dead. His chest was constricting and it

> was hard to breathe. The light dragon scale armour suddenly felt as if it

> were crushing him beneath its weight. The wooden slats of the pier were

> swimming in his vision and there was a roaring in his ears. Devon was

> grasping his arm in worry, trying to draw him away. “Moira…”

Argh... write some more.

Devon, this was magnificent. You get better with every story, and you started out well. Yeesh. :D

-Nyx


Parallel Journeys - Nyx's Archive and St

#3 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 04:32 AM

You're so sweet, Nyx.

*watery sniffle*

I'm still trying to collect myself after reading your masterpiece. It's really thrown me. It's amazing how a powerful story can enhance the emotions in readers.

> This entire paragraph set the scene perfectly; it was so beautiful! zan

> called your descriptions word painting, and I cannot agree more.

> I love how you blended this future plot development in; I never suspected

> you were setting us up for a twist!

My boyfriend said that as well when he was reading it last night, so I'm glad that it came off that way. Sure, it does set up the ending, but it's also the way Anomen's feeling. He's a bit uncomfortable with himself, the poor boy. Oh well, hopefully it won't be too long before he finally gets knighted, then maybe some of the angst will fade away.

> Images again. I need to draw her again, but make her more beautiful, next

> time. :)

What!? But she was gorgeous last time!

*happy dance*

Yay, another picture from Nyx! Today's my lucky day. (see, you'll just have to draw it now!)

> Devon's personality is beginning to come out more and more. She has a

> formalish way of phrasing which I'm falling in love with.

Yeah, it's just the way she is. I imagine Gorion as speaking in that scholarly, noble kind of way, and it seems to suit her as a ranger. She's the classic woodswalker: noble, well spoken, often quiet and sombre but kind hearted (but very, very flawed).

> Oohh, ouch.

> OUCH . He sure is on a rampage!

*looks away sheepishly*

That's what I meant by being melodramatic. It just came out that way. Silly Anomen, but you can see where he's coming from. Devon's actions probably did seem a bit suss, and he's still struggling to see into her character. He hasn't yet reconciled her good alignment with her blood.

> I expected that she was doing something sweet, but I didn't make the armor

> connection for a while. Aggh, poor Devon. Anomen can be pretty clueless at

> times. :)

> He deserves it!

I hope I didn't make it *too* painful for him, but he needed a thumping after that romance dialogue. Blah.

> ::sniffle:: Around here I actually got all teary eyed. ;x I can just see

> her buzzing around making sure everything is just right. Agh.

Aw, no you're getting me started again!

*sniffle*

Damn, I'm too emotional at the moment. Thanks to you and zan. :P

> Devon! This entire scene is just beautiful. I love it, I love it.

Do you think that his placing his hand over hers is too familiar? I was struggling a bit with that, but the scene kind of wrote itself. Devon was pretty upset, and it needed something special from him to make her settle down. Plus, I was in a romantic mood when I wrote it. Must be all those Mills and Boon and Harlequin books that I *know* zan read's. (heheh) :D

> Uh huh. ;)

*winks*

Yep, we'll just let him keep thinking that.

> Oh no...

> Argh... write some more.

*sigh*

Here we go again! I've been taking far too much time off uni because I'm writing, you're going to get me in trouble! Nah, I love it. :D

> Devon, this was magnificent. You get better with every story, and you

> started out well. Yeesh. :D

*blushes*

Really? That's a really nice compliment.

Thanks Nyx!

*hugs*



#4 Requiem

Posted 02 August 2001 - 05:19 AM

I've actually posted two stories in one quiz, this must be a record!

Good for you and lucky for us!

The

> basis for this one comes from one of the romance dialogues with Anomen. In

> it, he tells the PC how he became a priest, and depending on what you say

> later, he tells the PC that she must try harder to fight evil and that she

> is selfish. I'm sure all the ladies remember that one fondly.

> *growl*

> I was always really offended by that, so here Devon gives him his

> come-uppance. But in a nice way, of course. ;)

Yeah, he always makes me wanna smack him.

> Fanning the Flames

> The eastern horizon was brightening as Anomen strode the cobbled streets

> of Athkatla. Soft lilacs and roses, as delicate as a maiden's blush,

> flushed the sky overhead and heralded the dawning of a new day in the City

> of Coin. The street he walked seemed to be bathed in a pastel light,

> lending the Slums an innocence that would be lost in the harsh light of

> day. Garbage sullied the illusion of purity, blowing across the uneven

> paving stones under his boots and collecting against the walls of the

> buildings in small drifts. Beggars stirred in doorways and under

> balconies, shivering under their tattered blankets. The shutters of the

> poorer, wooden houses in this part of the city were still tightly closed

> against the last of the night, but candlelight gleamed between the chinks.

> Soon the citizens of the Slums would begin their morning chores, but for

> the time being, their homes remained quiet as they tried to defy the

> rising sun. Shadows lingered in the narrow alleys, concealing the thieves

> and assassins who would flee the coming light to find their beds after

> their night's work was done. Somewhere close by a dog barked. Anomen

> grimaced and adjusted the fall of his cloak over one shoulder as he

> watched for the stealthy movements that might betray someone watching him.

> He knew he could best a mugger thinking about earning a last coin, but

> still, a man walking alone needed to be cautious.

Lovely and descriptive - the beauty of the day contrasting with the garbage and the sad beggars. I also liked the clever way Anomen checked for muggers - Athkatla sure is full of 'em!

> Feeling excluded, he had watched with the bitterness growing

> within him as they continued to ignore him. Devon and Keldorn had left the

> Coronet together but not before Jaheira, glaring in annoyance, had passed

> Devon a purse that Anomen knew contained an enormous amount of their

> precious gold coins. Devon had never returned and he had been left to cool

> his heels. He had desperately wanted to go to the Temple and seek Helm's

> guidance in the matter of the dead knights, and to explain to Sir Ryan

> Trawl that he had not knowingly participated in the massacre, but no,

> Devon had abandoned him! And now she was expecting him as if she hadn't

> betrayed his trust. Obviously he meant very little to her. A black scowl

> stole over his face and he fought to leash his anger before he faced her.

I swear this boy has got to get a life! Makes me just want to sign him up for group therapy so he can get a better sense of how others REALLY see him!

> Devon loved it. She had discovered it days ago and came here when

> she needed peace. Spending so much time amongst buildings and throngs of

> people, away from the quiet of the woods, unsettled her. Devon had

> admitted one afternoon that she sometimes felt as if the city walls were

> suffocating her, but here she could relax with the sun on her face and

> listen to the music of the birds nesting high in the trees. The garden was

> indeed an oasis in the heart of the city. It was a place where lovers

> might meet for a stolen kiss. He may even have enjoyed its beauty if he

> hadn't been in such a sour mood.

Trust someone with elven blood to find a garden spot.

> > When Keldorn arched an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic silence, Anomen

> struggled to find his manners and return the greeting. His ill-fitting

> armour chafed but he stood stiffly and tried to ignore the discomfort. He

> could feel the other man's measuring gaze upon him. Assessing him. Judging

> him. Finding him weak and lacking.

*sigh* Anomen sweetie, get a grip...

> He almost choked on his rage. Could she truly be so ignorant of his agony?

> “What…what is wrong? Perhaps it is the fact that you have abandoned me!

> Devon, you arranged for Keldorn to go to the Temple without me!” He was

> vaguely aware of the fishermen pausing in their mending of their nets to

> stare curiously at the spectacle he was making, but he suddenly didn't

> care. Releasing the anger festering in his heart felt too good. “Helm's

> beard!” he cursed, “I am a priest of Helm and yet you don't even require

> my presence in my own temple!”

Oh oh, not nice!

> > “You…you ignore my years of training as if they mean nothing to you. When

> I first met you, you relied upon my skills and military expertise, but

> now…now that he is here, I am worthless! Am I now a mere healer to bind

> your wounds while you and Keldorn go off adventuring? Well, since I rank

> so lowly in your estimation I should simply seek companions elsewhere!”

Now we're movin' into mean...

> > “Am I?” Anomen took a step closer to her, pressing his advantage. A black

> elation surged through his body as his rage struck his target with the

> violence of a storm cloud. “Your callous disregard of my feelings shows

> that you are no true friend. Well, since you judge me so useless, I will

> judge you also.” Devon flinched at the venom in his voice. “You never

> returned last night and you did not bother to tell anyone where you were.

> At least Keldorn saw fit to send a message to the Coronet saying that he

> would rest at the Order headquarters! No doubt you were drinking and

> cavorting in a tavern, gambling away the money that Jaheira gave you. Yes,

> I saw her give it to you! You say that you are desperate to save your

> sister, yet the coins disappear and we have nothing to show for it. I

> thought you were a noble woman, Devon, but it appears that you are nothing

> but a selfish seductress. By Helm, if it had been Moira who had been

> captured I would have done anything, anything! to save her!” A shocked

> gasp was torn from Devon's throat and Anomen watched with satisfaction as

> her face paled and the bruises under her eyes darkened. She turned away

> from him but he forged on relentlessly. “I do not know what evil impulses

> your tainted blood drives you to do, but this I do know. You must try

> harder Devon, for I see little evidence of your fight against evil! All I

> see is one with purely self-interest, and that interests me not!”

Yowza -- ouch! ouch! ouch!

> Where was

> her expected outburst? A dreadful coldness quenched the fire in Anomen's

> heart. Always, when he had fought with Lord Cor, their malicious words had

> fanned the flames of fury even brighter. That was all Anomen knew. Devon's

> hurt silence sobered him in a way that Cor's heated words had not.

Aw, that's really rather sad.

> > When Cromwell brought out the magnificent suit of armour, Anomen felt as

> if he had been hit in the stomach. Devon's gift was…wondrous. The red

> dragon scales shone in the light of the forge as if aflame, each

> overlapping plate gleaming metallically. Gold offset the brilliance of the

> ruby scales, and amazed, Anomen reached out a finger to lightly trace the

> runes that had been etched into the armour. It was warm to the touch,

> seemingly almost alive. Anomen turned his face away in shame.

As well he might.

> How could he make her understand the depth of his pain and anger at

> himself? Instinctively, Anomen reached out to cover her hand where she

> rested it on the rails of the pier with his own. He waited, ready to

> snatch his hand away if she became offended at his familiarity. She drew

> in a quick breath and her cold fingers tensed under his own, but she never

> drew away.

> He stood there with her for what seemed like hours, waiting for her

> response.

You asked whether this is too familiar. When I read it, it seemed ok, although I did wonder whether someone with Anomen's background and rather formal nature might not just touch her hand in apology and leave it at that.

Poor Anomen -- talk about having coals of fire on your head! I enjoyed the story -- it was a good read. More please!



#5 Guest_Nyx_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 05:26 AM

> You're so sweet, Nyx.

I'm not being sweet, I'm being honest. ;)

> I'm still trying to collect myself after reading your masterpiece. It's

> really thrown me. It's amazing how a powerful story can enhance the

> emotions in readers.

That's an incredible compliment. I can't say enough how flattered I am. Truly.

> My boyfriend said that as well when he was reading it last night, so I'm

> glad that it came off that way. Sure, it does set up the ending, but it's

> also the way Anomen's feeling. He's a bit uncomfortable with himself, the

> poor boy.

I know! Poor guy. All insecure and wearing bad armor, too! ;)

> Oh well, hopefully it won't be too long before he finally gets

> knighted, then maybe some of the angst will fade away.

Awww, he'll be picking roses and gifting them to Devon before you know it. :D

> What!? But she was gorgeous last time!

> *happy dance*

> Yay, another picture from Nyx! Today's my lucky day. (see, you'll just

> have to draw it now!)

Awww, that's so sweet. ;)

...okay! :) It's all those descriptions; so incredibly beautiful.

> That's what I meant by being melodramatic. It just came out that way.

It wasn't melodramatic. ;) Anomen's got a ridiculous temper, and I'm glad to see it explored. Flawed characters fascinate me, which is one of the reasons I love Anomen so much.

> Silly Anomen, but you can see where he's coming from. Devon's actions

> probably did seem a bit suss, and he's still struggling to see into her

> character. He hasn't yet reconciled her good alignment with her blood.

Understandable, especially when she really does have those dark spots. Anomen's not exactly known for his open-mindedness.

> I hope I didn't make it *too* painful for him, but he needed a thumping

> after that romance dialogue. Blah.

LOL! ;)

> Aw, no you're getting me started again!

> *sniffle*

> Damn, I'm too emotional at the moment. Thanks to you and zan. :x

But I wasn't emotional! And you made me cry! Gaah. ;)

Okay, maybe there is a big softie under all that grimness somewhere. ;)

> Do you think that his placing his hand over hers is too familiar? I was

> struggling a bit with that, but the scene kind of wrote itself. Devon was

> pretty upset, and it needed something special from him to make her settle

> down.

I think it's great; if he'd scooped her into a big bear hug that would be a bit much. ;)

> Plus, I was in a romantic mood when I wrote it. Must be all those

> Mills and Boon and Harlequin books that I *know* zan read's. (heheh) :)

ROFL! I looked up Mills and Boon the other day. O_o O_o O_o

> Here we go again! I've been taking far too much time off uni because I'm

> writing, you're going to get me in trouble! Nah, I love it. :)

Who need's schooling? Write! ::frenzied grin!:: ;)

> Really? That's a really nice compliment.

Absolutely. :)

-Nyx


Parallel Journeys - Nyx's Archive and St

#6 Guest_zan_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 05:38 PM

> Do you think that his placing his hand over hers is too familiar? I was

> struggling a bit with that, but the scene kind of wrote itself. Devon was

> pretty upset, and it needed something special from him to make her settle

> down. Plus, I was in a romantic mood when I wrote it. Must be all those

> Mills and Boon and Harlequin books that I *know* zan read's. (heheh) ;)

Hell, yes - devour ten of the things a day. High quality literature, I'll have you know.

Shakespeare? He's got nothing on M&B ;D

(drifts into daydreams of beards and shiny knights)

zan


#7 Guest_zan_*

Posted 02 August 2001 - 06:07 PM

> I apologise for it being so melodramatic. And long.

Do not apologise on either account! It was a good length, and I didn't see those black crows circling ;)

I really admire your ability to describe scenery, btw. Actually, it's more than just scenery - the sounds and smells too, and the atmosphere. The first few paragraphs of this story were fantastic - I'm a visual person usually, but I didn't even need to try here, the images were so good. Love the use of colour in particular - very atmospheric.

(I'm probably not getting my point across - but all I can say is, your descriptions make me want to go and paint something :D)

The armour analogy was very apt - Anomen not fitting into his steel plate or his role in life. He's a bit of a misfit in the Order, and it's understandable he'd feel out-of-place - and resent living on borrowed time and terms. Great tension between him and Keldorn, too - Anomen's almost mythologised him, set him up as an archetype. The perfect paladin. If only he knew ;)

> Always, when he had fought with Lord Cor, their malicious words had

> fanned the flames of fury even brighter. That was all Anomen knew. Devon's

> hurt silence sobered him in a way that Cor's heated words had not.

Ah...great insight into Anomen's mindset here. Complex reactions - he's falling back into the old patterns of his upbringing. Part of him enjoys being so spiteful, and part of him enjoys the retaliation...familiar comfort, strange as that sounds.

Glad to see Anomen realise his mistake...and the relationship getting a little closer - but that ending! ;) Of all the bad timing, eh?

Fantastic story, Devon :) Simple in theory, but you layered it deep...lots of imagery and analogies here, and some excellent character studies. Good show ;)

zan


#8 Weyoun

Posted 02 August 2001 - 06:44 PM

> But for her leather armour and the longbow, Heartseeker, lying

> against her knee, Devon could have been a maiden dreaming of heroes and

> villains. Spray from the fountain drifted on the breeze to settle upon her

> face and head, and Anomen drew in a quick breath as the tiny drops of

> water glistened in the sunlight that pierced the leaves of the trees. For

> a heartbeat, the droplets captured in the silken strands seemed to glow

> with an inner crimson fire as if a jewelled net of firedrops had been laid

> over her hair. She was as bewitching as a siren.

Well, well, well! You seem to have made quite an impression on the human, my elven sister!

> “Good morning, Squire Anomen.” The dry tone in Keldorn's voice abruptly

> snapped Anomen out of his imaginings and he turned to see the veteran

> paladin sitting on the bench facing the fountain. Anomen's lips tightened

> as his irritation bloomed anew. Neither Devon nor Keldorn had returned to

> the Coronet and it shouldn't have surprised him to see them together.

Leave it to Keldorn to ruin the atmosphere. Oh, he's a great friend, but you don't want him around if you're planning on doing some serious drinking!

> Devon was increasingly relying upon the old paladin's wisdom and

> experience and she was often with him now. It was another source of pain

> for Anomen. He felt useless with Keldorn's expertise overshadowing his own

> military knowledge. He was no longer Devon's right hand but a simple

> squire with dreams of one day becoming a knight. Anomen's gaze was drawn

> to Keldorn's gleaming armour and the engraved hilt of Carsomyr. A sick

> feeling welled in his stomach at the sight. With the fabled Carsomyr

> sheathed at his side, Keldorn radiated a knightly virtue that Anomen

> longed to attain. It only made Anomen feel more unworthy by comparison.

Jealousy? Well brought, in either case, though... Anomen is not sure of his would make it as a knight and then there's the perfect knight standing next to you!

> Keldorn paused as if he were weighing his words carefully. “I…do not

> believe so, Devon. I am sorry. The Order rarely becomes involved in the

> politics of the Council of Six, and such an uprising against the Cowled

> Wizards would place the Order in an awkward position.” Keldorn left unsaid

> that the Order would be reluctant to help her because of her tainted

> blood, but Anomen realised that Devon knew. The tiny frown that suddenly

> creased her forehead gave her away.

*sighs* The tainted blood! Always the tainted blood! No matter what you do, or how good you are, it always comes back to haunt you! *sighs* Sorry... Pet peeve *smiles apologetically*

> He almost choked on his rage. Could she truly be so ignorant of his agony?

Oh, sure. *mimicks Ano's voice* I'm the center of the universe, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah...

What? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, just a little harmless fun!

> “Squire, remember yourself!” Keldorn's voice cracked like a whip and his

> glare warned Anomen to be silent, but Devon pushed past him to stand

> before Anomen. She stared at him, her eyes glittering dangerously and her

> hands on her hips.

Ouch... Quite a situation he has put himself in!

> “I do not know what evil impulses

> your tainted blood drives you to do, but this I do know. You must try

> harder Devon, for I see little evidence of your fight against evil! All I

> see is one with purely self-interest, and that interests me not!”

*stares blankly* Somebody get that guy a drink!

> When Cromwell brought out the magnificent suit of armour, Anomen felt as

> if he had been hit in the stomach. Devon's gift was…wondrous. The red

> dragon scales shone in the light of the forge as if aflame, each

> overlapping plate gleaming metallically. Gold offset the brilliance of the

> ruby scales, and amazed, Anomen reached out a finger to lightly trace the

> runes that had been etched into the armour. It was warm to the touch,

> seemingly almost alive. Anomen turned his face away in shame. He had

> sorely misjudged Devon.

Ouch! That'll leave a mark! Personally, though, I always gave the Red Dragon Plate to Viconia... Somehow I think Cromwell enjoyed taking her measurements a little too much! *chuckles*

> Devon laughed and gave him an appraising look. “I see. Anomen, I'm only

> teasing.” A strange expression flitted across her face as she studied him

> in his new armour. “You look handsome, Anomen, like a true knight. Scarlet

> and gold suits you.”

*chuckles* My, my... You've got it big, haven't you, elven sister?!

> “Moira?” He was staring at the messenger in disbelief, unable to believe

> that his beautiful sister could be dead. His chest was constricting and it

> was hard to breathe. The light dragon scale armour suddenly felt as if it

> were crushing him beneath its weight. The wooden slats of the pier were

> swimming in his vision and there was a roaring in his ears. Devon was

> grasping his arm in worry, trying to draw him away. “Moira…”

Oh, dear... From one beesnest, into another isn't it?

Anyway, that was a great story! Another drink for you, elven sister! *raises glass*

---Laska

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#9 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 02:34 AM

> Hell, yes - devour ten of the things a day. High quality literature, I'll

> have you know.

> Shakespeare? He's got nothing on M&B ;D

Yeah, especially all those lovely candlelit scenes where the reluctant hero is falling for the gorgeous heroine, he reaches out to take her hands in his own, then the worlds collide and the stars fall out of the sky....then the bedroom scene. ;)

> (drifts into daydreams of beards and shiny knights)

(dreams of roses and moonlit gardens)

Hey, I like Ano's beard! It makes him...dashing. ;)



#10 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 02:45 AM

> I'm not being sweet, I'm being honest. ;)

*sad smile*

Thanks sweetie, that makes me feel a little better.

(don't ask, I'm having a REALLY bad day. One of those days when you wish that you could just curl up into a black hole and disappear from all existence)

> That's an incredible compliment. I can't say enough how flattered I am.

> Truly.

Well, it's true! Your writing always makes me feel emotional, and that's the mark of a great writer. And I think all the fantastic reponses to your work is an indication of your esteem.

> I know! Poor guy. All insecure and wearing bad armor, too! ;)

Yeah, poor Ano. I really wanted to explore his psyche a bit in this.

> Awww, he'll be picking roses and gifting them to Devon before you know it.

> ;)

LOL! This I can't wait to see (if I ever decide to write again)

> Awww, that's so sweet. :)

> ...okay! :) It's all those descriptions; so incredibly beautiful.

Yeah, but maybe they are getting to be *too* much, I don't know. Ignore me. I'm simply depressed and I'll regret this tomorrow.

> It wasn't melodramatic. :D Anomen's got a ridiculous temper, and I'm glad

> to see it explored. Flawed characters fascinate me, which is one of the

> reasons I love Anomen so much.

He's gorgeous. He's one of my all-time favs because he is so complex, and there's an absolute riot of emotion bubbling there under the surface. I love writing about him.

> Understandable, especially when she really does have those dark spots.

> Anomen's not exactly known for his open-mindedness.

LOL! You can say that again!

> But I wasn't emotional! And you made me cry! Gaah. :(

*blinks*

Really? Truly? Hey, the way I'm feeling at the moment, I'll start crying again myself!

> Okay, maybe there is a big softie under all that grimness somewhere. :D

Yep, definately a big softie! :D

> I think it's great; if he'd scooped her into a big bear hug that would be

> a bit much. :D

LOL! Well, perhaps I shouldnt write what I was going to for the next one, it might be too forward,

*big wink*

> ROFL! I looked up Mills and Boon the other day. O_o O_o O_o

Did you? What happened? You have to love all the frenzied passions that run amuck, the searing looks and the brushes against each other's arms.... Uh oh, I've just realised that I write like that. Does that mean that my future lies with Mills and Boon? LOL!

> Who need's schooling? Write! ::frenzied grin!:: :D

Yeah, uni is a drag. But it's looking better than sitting here at home getting depressed. :(



#11 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 02:55 AM

> Yeah, he always makes me wanna smack him.

Actually, I remember you and I talking about this months ago when someone brought up that romance dialogue (was it you?). I've been dying to get that written into something for ages, so I got a tad caught up in this one. It feels good though, ;)

> Lovely and descriptive - the beauty of the day contrasting with the

> garbage and the sad beggars. I also liked the clever way Anomen checked

> for muggers - Athkatla sure is full of 'em!

Thanks! ;)

> I swear this boy has got to get a life! Makes me just want to sign him up

> for group therapy so he can get a better sense of how others REALLY see

> him!

LOL! Imagine how that group therapy would go? But really, he does seem to have a very low self esteem. But perhaps things would go easier on him if he wasn't so...er, self righteous most of the time.

> Trust someone with elven blood to find a garden spot.

*big smile*

Devon needed some space for relaxation (like us all!).

> *sigh* Anomen sweetie, get a grip...

> Oh oh, not nice!

> Now we're movin' into mean...

> Yowza -- ouch! ouch! ouch!

Ouch indeed! I got angry myself while I was writing it, but strangely enough, I was angry *for* Anomen, not at him.

> Aw, that's really rather sad.

It is, isn't it? Imagine how screwed up he'd be psychologically after years of emotional abuse by his father. It'd set the patterns of behaviour for adult life.

> As well he might.

> You asked whether this is too familiar. When I read it, it seemed ok,

> although I did wonder whether someone with Anomen's background and rather

> formal nature might not just touch her hand in apology and leave it at

> that.

Perhaps you're right. I'm having a bit of difficulty with this actually, but it's more to do with the differences between Devon and Anomen. He's more reserved about that sort of thing (obviously), but she's more up front. They've been together as a group for more than a week now and I'd think that he'd be relating to her better after getting to know her, and I think that in this case, they'd be less formal. It all depends on how you see the relationship development, and it depends on the personal characteristics of the PC. I'll have to keep tabs on this. Any other suggestions or observations? It could simply be that I'm not illuminating Devon's psyche enough, so maybe it's problematic.

> Poor Anomen -- talk about having coals of fire on your head! I enjoyed the

> story -- it was a good read. More please!

Thanks jeanette! I really want to say that I'm really glad that you're still following this, and I really appreciate it. Your comments always make me smile, so thankyou! I thrive on feedback and its a little depressing when I don't get many comments or views.


#12 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 03:04 AM

> Do not apologise on either account! It was a good length, and I didn't see

> those black crows circling ;)

Or vultures ;)

> I really admire your ability to describe scenery, btw. Actually, it's more

> than just scenery - the sounds and smells too, and the atmosphere. The

> first few paragraphs of this story were fantastic - I'm a visual person

> usually, but I didn't even need to try here, the images were so good. Love

> the use of colour in particular - very atmospheric.

> (I'm probably not getting my point across - but all I can say is, your

> descriptions make me want to go and paint something :))

LOL! No, you're getting your point across. (hey, who ever heard of the big bad monstah not saying what she wants to? Silly zan!) Thanks for the comments, it's really nice to know that what I mean to paint actually comes across. Word painting indeed. :D

> The armour analogy was very apt - Anomen not fitting into his steel plate

> or his role in life. He's a bit of a misfit in the Order, and it's

> understandable he'd feel out-of-place - and resent living on borrowed time

> and terms. Great tension between him and Keldorn, too - Anomen's almost

> mythologised him, set him up as an archetype. The perfect paladin. If only

> he knew :)

Yeah! I'm really glad that that came out as well. But he really is feeling uncomfortable with himself (at least in my mind), and I'd imagine that a lot of the tension with Keldorn in the game is because Ano's feeling so poor. He'd be constantly comparing himself and striving to do better, poor guy.

> Ah...great insight into Anomen's mindset here. Complex reactions - he's

> falling back into the old patterns of his upbringing. Part of him enjoys

> being so spiteful, and part of him enjoys the retaliation...familiar

> comfort, strange as that sounds.

Yes, that's it exactly! Yay!

*happy dance*

I just really felt for the guy when I was writing this, and fortunately for him, Devon understands a lot of this. It's one of her attributes (decent wisdom).

> Glad to see Anomen realise his mistake...and the relationship getting a

> little closer - but that ending! ;) Of all the bad timing, eh?

Yeah, I wonder what would have happened if Terl hadn't come just at that moment? Hmmm, maybe I should think about that.

*evil grin*

> Fantastic story, Devon :( Simple in theory, but you layered it deep...lots

> of imagery and analogies here, and some excellent character studies. Good

> show :D

Thanks zan! :D

I'm really glad that you were able to comment on the analogies, it makes me feel better and not quite so useless. But get back to the Swirly Things now, ok? :D



#13 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 03:12 AM

> Well, well, well! You seem to have made quite an impression on the human,

> my elven sister!

Thankyou, sister dear.

*curtseys*

I'd imagine that that's how Xan felt about you the next morning.

*sidelong look under lashes*

> Leave it to Keldorn to ruin the atmosphere. Oh, he's a great friend, but

> you don't want him around if you're planning on doing some serious

> drinking!

I find Keldorn to be a really nice man, almosy like a father, but yes, he does have a tendency to...ruin the moment. Through no fault of his own, of course, he is simply far too paladin-like. Although, I will admit a little something to you. I have seen him a little...inebriated. I believe it was the night that...well, you'll find out eventually.

*winks*

> Jealousy? Well brought, in either case, though... Anomen is not sure of

> his would make it as a knight and then there's the perfect knight standing

> next to you!

Exactly. I really feel for him, and I hoped that the armour would help him to see how much I value him.

> *sighs* The tainted blood! Always the tainted blood! No matter what you

> do, or how good you are, it always comes back to haunt you! *sighs*

> Sorry... Pet peeve *smiles apologetically*

*nods in understanding*

I feel the same way, dearest. It isn't very fair, is it?

> Oh, sure. *mimicks Ano's voice* I'm the center of the universe, me, me,

> me, blah, blah, blah...

Yes, but remember that he has had a difficult life and he sometimes has trouble...understanding others. It's very easy to look inwards all the time and forget about other people and their feelings.

> What? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, just a little harmless fun!

*blinks*

Me? You were the one giving me a strange look!

*laughs*

Oh, you're fun, Laska!

> Ouch... Quite a situation he has put himself in!

> *stares blankly* Somebody get that guy a drink!

Make that two drinks. I need one for trying to put up with him.

> Ouch! That'll leave a mark! Personally, though, I always gave the Red

> Dragon Plate to Viconia... Somehow I think Cromwell enjoyed taking her

> measurements a little too much! *chuckles*

*shocked look*

Oh, dear! But no doubt Viconia enjoyed it a little.

*smirk*

> *chuckles* My, my... You've got it big, haven't you, elven sister?!

*blushes*

Ummm, yes. I can't help it. He's too...too... oh, I don't know!

> Oh, dear... From one beesnest, into another isn't it?

> Anyway, that was a great story! Another drink for you, elven sister!

> *raises glass*

Why, thankyou Laska! Here's to tales told around a fire and good wine.

::chinks glass::

-*Devon



#14 Guest_Nyx_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 03:32 AM

> *sad smile*

> Thanks sweetie, that makes me feel a little better.

> (don't ask, I'm having a REALLY bad day. One of those days when you wish

> that you could just curl up into a black hole and disappear from all

> existence)

I'm afraid I'm going to ask. Please please, feel free to write me about anything that's bothering you.

> Well, it's true! Your writing always makes me feel emotional, and that's

> the mark of a great writer. And I think all the fantastic reponses to your

> work is an indication of your esteem.

Eh, I've been doing a lot of spectacle lately, though. It's attention-getting. ;)

> LOL! This I can't wait to see (if I ever decide to write again)

...don't scare me like that. ;)

> Yeah, but maybe they are getting to be *too* much, I don't know. Ignore

> me. I'm simply depressed and I'll regret this tomorrow.

I'm not going to ignore you! They're not getting to be too much at all. I wish I could weave such beauty into a story without making it grind to a halt. It's a gift. ;)

> He's gorgeous. He's one of my all-time favs because he is so complex, and

> there's an absolute riot of emotion bubbling there under the surface. I

> love writing about him.

I can tell. Passion always shows through.

> Really? Truly? Hey, the way I'm feeling at the moment, I'll start crying

> again myself!

Yes, really truly. :)

Scott read the story too; he ranted about it, and said he felt like he was punched in the stomach too, when Anomen saw the armor. :)

> LOL! Well, perhaps I shouldnt write what I was going to for the next one,

> it might be too forward,

> *big wink*

Forward is good... :D

> Did you? What happened? You have to love all the frenzied passions that

> run amuck, the searing looks and the brushes against each other's arms....

> Uh oh, I've just realised that I write like that. Does that mean that my

> future lies with Mills and Boon? LOL!

! You don't write like that. :D

> Yeah, uni is a drag. But it's looking better than sitting here at home

> getting depressed. :(

Shoot me an email will you? ;( Argh, I hate to see you so upset.

-Nyx


Parallel Journeys - Nyx's Archive and St

#15 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 03:50 AM

> I'm afraid I'm going to ask. Please please, feel free to write me about

> anything that's bothering you.

Thanks dear. I got your email and I've written back. Hey, now we can see how long it takes to get over the network!

> Eh, I've been doing a lot of spectacle lately, though. It's

> attention-getting. :-)

LOL! Attention is good!

> ...don't scare me like that. ;)

Er, sorry.

*sheepish smile*

> I'm not going to ignore you! They're not getting to be too much at all. I

> wish I could weave such beauty into a story without making it grind to a

> halt. It's a gift. ;)

> I can tell. Passion always shows through.

Does it? I think that might be part of my problem. When I get into these stories, when I write ones that really get to me (like this one and Honeysuckle), I start to get drawn into it emotionally, somehow. I always feel really elated once it's finished, but then I plummet to the other end of the spectrum because I get emotionally drained. And that's how I'm feeling right now. I guess I fear that too much of myself is being poured into the story, and when there isn't much feedback, I get depressed. Ok, this is getting too deep. ;)

> Yes, really truly. :D

> Scott read the story too; he ranted about it, and said he felt like he was

> punched in the stomach too, when Anomen saw the armor. :D

Seriously?

*ears prick up*

What did he say? I hope he was ranting in a good way! ;)

> Forward is good... :)

Yeah, but I think this may be a little *too* forward. Michael and I were mucking around last night and thinking about the next one, and he was having heaps of fun trying to think up ways to make Ano really uncomfortable. It was so funny! :)

> ! You don't write like that. :D

No? We'll see about that! LOL! But I must confess that I haven't read a Mills and Boon in...well, ever? They look too stupid. I'm more a historical romance kinda gal, like the ones where vikings and knights fight for the love of their lady. :)

> Shoot me an email will you? ;( Argh, I hate to see you so upset.

I can't wait to see how long it takes! :D



#16 Requiem

Posted 03 August 2001 - 04:17 AM

> Actually, I remember you and I talking about this months ago when someone

> brought up that romance dialogue (was it you?). I've been dying to get

> that written into something for ages, so I got a tad caught up in this

> one. It feels good though, ;)

Yes we did talk about it and I'm glad to see you write it. I think it makes the romance more realistic if the heroine actually answers back something besides "yes, dear"!

> It is, isn't it? Imagine how screwed up he'd be psychologically after

> years of emotional abuse by his father. It'd set the patterns of behaviour

> for adult life.

Yes it could until he was able to get to the place where he realizes that he can't do anything about his father (can't fix it) but he can do something about himself. A hard lesson for all of us.

> Perhaps you're right. I'm having a bit of difficulty with this actually,

> but it's more to do with the differences between Devon and Anomen. He's

> more reserved about that sort of thing (obviously), but she's more up

> front. They've been together as a group for more than a week now and I'd

> think that he'd be relating to her better after getting to know her, and I

> think that in this case, they'd be less formal. It all depends on how you

> see the relationship development, and it depends on the personal

> characteristics of the PC. I'll have to keep tabs on this. Any other

> suggestions or observations? It could simply be that I'm not illuminating

> Devon's psyche enough, so maybe it's problematic.

Well, there's formal and then there's formal. In my own mind, Anomen is starting to fall for the PC and really wants to get to know her, but he has little or no experience with women other than his sister, so I've tended to see him as more introverted than extroverted in his physical behaviors although he obviously talks with her quite a bit. Then again, Devon's quite attractive so maybe his hormones have just plain taken over!

> Thanks jeanette! I really want to say that I'm really glad that you're

> still following this, and I really appreciate it. Your comments always

> make me smile, so thankyou! I thrive on feedback and its a little

> depressing when I don't get many comments or views.

My pleasure. And keep writing please! :)



#17 Guest_Nyx_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 05:08 AM

> Thanks dear. I got your email and I've written back. Hey, now we can see

> how long it takes to get over the network!

Haha! Not only did I get it, I answered it!

> Er, sorry.

> *sheepish smile*

You're going to make me age a few years saying things like that. ;)

> Does it? I think that might be part of my problem. When I get into these

> stories, when I write ones that really get to me (like this one and

> Honeysuckle), I start to get drawn into it emotionally, somehow. I always

> feel really elated once it's finished, but then I plummet to the other end

> of the spectrum because I get emotionally drained.

Argh, that's not a problem, it's a mark of great talent! ;) Hmm, I'm not sure whether I wish I did that or not. It certainly gives your stories power, though. ;)

> And that's how I'm

> feeling right now. I guess I fear that too much of myself is being poured

> into the story, and when there isn't much feedback, I get depressed. Ok,

> this is getting too deep. ;)

No, I completely understand. I think a lot of people feel ignored. ;( God knows I felt that way for the longest time. Now I feel a little bizarre with all the attention; it's kind of like stage fright. :D

> Seriously?

Very seriously. He was making a scene in middle of the supermarket, LOL! I'll give you the whole story in email. :)

> What did he say? I hope he was ranting in a good way! :)

Yes! Very good way!

> Yeah, but I think this may be a little *too* forward. Michael and I were

> mucking around last night and thinking about the next one, and he was

> having heaps of fun trying to think up ways to make Ano really

> uncomfortable. It was so funny! :)

Now, why do guys want to torment Anomen? LOL! :D Poor guy... :D

> No? We'll see about that! LOL! But I must confess that I haven't read a

> Mills and Boon in...well, ever? They look too stupid. I'm more a

> historical romance kinda gal, like the ones where vikings and knights

> fight for the love of their lady. :-)

Argh, I fear I have not yet read a Harlequin either. I'm tempted to read a bunch just because I've heard so much about it!

-Nyx


Parallel Journeys - Nyx's Archive and St

#18 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 05:36 AM

> Haha! Not only did I get it, I answered it!

And I got it and now I've answered it! Hey, hotmail is actually working! Although it started to play up again today when I tried to delete junk mail again. Same problem: it tells me that I haven't selected anything and takes me to a screen with 'false' at the top. Weird stuff.

> You're going to make me age a few years saying things like that. :D

As if you weren't old enough already? LOL!

*ducking*

My dear, you are not old! But I'm sorry for hastening the aging process.

*ducking again*

> Argh, that's not a problem, it's a mark of great talent! :D Hmm, I'm not

> sure whether I wish I did that or not. It certainly gives your stories

> power, though. :D

It's frustrating and it makes me feel like an idiot. I think I'm too tempremental (er, can't spell at the moment, it's eluded me), and I enjoy a good argument way too much. Must be the training of my degree at uni. ;) But it really is very draining. I wonder if anyone else has this problem? I'm teh kind of person where I start to get emotional if I've read something powerful. Eg. someone argues in a movie or book, and I start to get irritable as well. If someone cries, I'll cry. If someone's happy, I'll be happy. Weird, aren't I? But it has to be a book or movie that is well written or directed, otherwise I just arch my eyebrow cynically.

> No, I completely understand. I think a lot of people feel ignored. ;( God

> knows I felt that way for the longest time. Now I feel a little bizarre

> with all the attention; it's kind of like stage fright. ;)

Heheh, just as long as you don't start behaving like Thalinus. :)

Speaking of feeling ignored, where are all the new faces that popped up for a while and haven't come back? Eg. Jonna, Keira, Noonespecial among a few. I really miss seeing their work. Hmm, maybe it's a lack of encouragment?

> Very seriously. He was making a scene in middle of the supermarket, LOL!

> I'll give you the whole story in email. :-)

I'm dying to see this now. No going to bed until you've told me! :D

> Yes! Very good way!

> Now, why do guys want to torment Anomen? LOL! :) Poor guy... :)

Gosh, I have *no* idea. ;)

But, oh boy, Michael came up with some really funny thoughts. Poor Ano!

> Argh, I fear I have not yet read a Harlequin either. I'm tempted to read a

> bunch just because I've heard so much about it!

I think I've read a Harlequin once or twice, but it was when I was a teenager and more susceptible to the interesting back covers. Now, in my older and wiser years, I've realised that they basically change the names and a few other words...and bang! You have a romance cover! Not that I'd know, of course. ;)

I like the old Lovespell books. My fav is one where a woman gets hit on the head and wakes up somehere around 900 AD. She is captured by a yummy viking man named Selik, and the story was fantastic for a romance novel. It was well reasearched (historically), the characters were great, tempers and passions were flying everywhere, and it had great...ummm, I think i'll delete that part. :D



#19 Guest_Devon_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 05:45 AM

> Well, there's formal and then there's formal. In my own mind, Anomen is

> starting to fall for the PC and really wants to get to know her, but he

> has little or no experience with women other than his sister, so I've

> tended to see him as more introverted than extroverted in his physical

> behaviors although he obviously talks with her quite a bit. Then again,

> Devon's quite attractive so maybe his hormones have just plain taken over!

He's definately more introverted, but that's where Devon steps in. She's more likely to take the initiative in these matters (when she knows how she feels, that is), and I'm wondering how Ano would react to her taking charge a little. Would he back off and run, or would he find himself returning the gesture because she has let him know how she feels? Maybe she would make it more comfortable for him to act in that way. I'm particularly interested because I'm wondering what would have happened if Terl hadn't come when he did. After all, Devon's just come right out and told Ano that he's handsome! And he'd have to be pretty dense not to notice, especially since she's spent all night making him perfect armour. ;) Ah, Ano is an enigma.

> My pleasure. And keep writing please! :)

*huge smile*

Thankyou!!!!! :-)


#20 Guest_Nyx_*

Posted 03 August 2001 - 06:05 AM

> And I got it and now I've answered it! Hey, hotmail is actually working!

Oooh, that's good! Maybe they got the bugs out of their new setup!

> Although it started to play up again today when I tried to delete junk

> mail again. Same problem: it tells me that I haven't selected anything and

> takes me to a screen with 'false' at the top. Weird stuff.

Hey, that's odd. O_o

> As if you weren't old enough already? LOL!

> *ducking*

Ooooh, you'd better duck! ::throws teddy bears::

> My dear, you are not old! But I'm sorry for hastening the aging process.

> *ducking again*

::throws another one!::

> It's frustrating and it makes me feel like an idiot.

!! Don't feel like an idiot!

> I think I'm too

> tempremental (er, can't spell at the moment, it's eluded me), and I enjoy

> a good argument way too much. Must be the training of my degree at uni. ;)

> But it really is very draining. I wonder if anyone else has this problem?

Ooooh, me too. It gets me in trouble, actually. All the time! ;)

I've been told I should be a lawyer, actually. :)

> I'm teh kind of person where I start to get emotional if I've read

> something powerful. Eg. someone argues in a movie or book, and I start to

> get irritable as well. If someone cries, I'll cry. If someone's happy,

> I'll be happy. Weird, aren't I? But it has to be a book or movie that is

> well written or directed, otherwise I just arch my eyebrow cynically.

No, that's not weird! It's empathy. :D I often get overwhelmed by movies and books and such. :)

> Heheh, just as long as you don't start behaving like Thalinus. :-)

Uh... er.... yes well... um... hi!

> Speaking of feeling ignored, where are all the new faces that popped up

> for a while and haven't come back? Eg. Jonna, Keira, Noonespecial among a

> few. I really miss seeing their work. Hmm, maybe it's a lack of

> encouragment?

That's possible. ;( Hmmm.... where did they go! NooneSpecial posted a comment during this quiz, I think, but no stories for a while now. ;( I think Jonna posted a comment recently too. Keira disappeared! And where's Laufey!

> I'm dying to see this now. No going to bed until you've told me! :D

Working on it! ;D

> Gosh, I have *no* idea. ;)

> But, oh boy, Michael came up with some really funny thoughts. Poor Ano!

Poor guy! He gets more abuse than anyone except Aerie. :)

> I think I've read a Harlequin once or twice, but it was when I was a

> teenager and more susceptible to the interesting back covers. Now, in my

> older and wiser years, I've realised that they basically change the names

> and a few other words...and bang! You have a romance cover! Not that I'd

> know, of course. ;)

Blah blah, beautiful heiress blah blah handsome mystery man... blah blah torrents of passion! :D

> I like the old Lovespell books. My fav is one where a woman gets hit on

> the head and wakes up somehere around 900 AD. She is captured by a yummy

> viking man named Selik, and the story was fantastic for a romance novel.

> It was well reasearched (historically), the characters were great, tempers

> and passions were flying everywhere, and it had great...ummm, I think i'll

> delete that part. :D

ROFL! Delete that part, huh? :D Hee hee.

-Nyx


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