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Father and Son (O/T)


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#1 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 05:34 PM

Try and guess who the little boy is ;)

*********************************************************************

"Foolish little whelp!" the enraged drow shouted as he dragged the squirming child harshly down the narrow stone stairwell. "You should have thought beter than to pull another trick such as that!"

The little drow elf struggled against the strong grip of the large drow. "B - but, father!" he protested, tears flowing from his deep blue eyes and running his dark cheeks like twin rivers. "I - I didn't mean to! I will not do that ever again! I swear! I shall-"

A wicked slap across his face silenced the dark-elven boy. He bit down hard on his lower lip and stared down at the floor, not daring the meet the burning gaze of his father.

A sudden, spiteful laugh shook the silence. The boy shut his eyes tight, anger and fear welling up inside of him as his father laughed; telling him what a worthless son he had become and how pathetic he was compared to him. The boy hated him - hated him with ever burning fiber in his body. The hate he felt was like a poisonuos snake; each time it bit it took away a little piece of his heart and life, eventually leaving nothing but hostile apathy churning in his pitiful soul. He knew he could not control that hate forever and that one day the bitter irony he felt would come out as rage. He felt that rage even now, growing more intense with each abrasive word and hurtful action. What would happen when he can no longer control that rage? Would his fears subside and allow only pure rage to thrive? The boy did not know - and did not want to know for he feared that rage just as much as he feared his father.

Tightning his grip on the boy's arm, the virulent drow sneered and pulled the child closer to him. "Nothing but a useless, pathetic little nat," he jeered, the boy never once turning to look at him. "I should have killed you when I had the chance. So pitiful you are, why, you cannot even look me in the eye, can you? Can you?!" He clutched the child's other arm and shook him fiercely, but still the boy did not look at him. "Stubborn brat! Not even fit to look me in the eye! Your craven actions will one day destroy you! Such a stupid boy you are! Look at me, you little coward! Are you afraid?! Look at me!!!"

With teary eyes, the child looked up into the red glowing eyes of his father and sucked in a low breath, trying desperately to steady himself. "I...I am not afraid of you," he whispered, a slight quiver in his throat. "I am not afraid."

The older drow stared into his son's strange deep blue eyes, a taunting smile lit upon his face. "Foolish child," he wangled. "Do you expect me to believe that you are not afraid?"

"I - I am not," the boy avouched more bravely.

"Then I shall make you afraid!"

With that, the drow yanked the dungeon door open and pulled his son inside, exasperately slamming the door behind him. With a pleasurable smile, the drow began to beat his child; each hit leaving splotches of dark red blood splattering across the dirty floor. Soon, the deed was done and the boy was left weak and decrepit in a corner of the room. As the dungeon door slammed shut, the boy shakily persisted to wipe away his bloody tears. With his heart full of rage and body trembling from being brutally beated, the boy lifted his head up, his tears resembling tiny pools of blood as they streamed down his face, and silently uttered a vow beneath his breath.

"You shall pay, father...one day, you shall pay..."

******************************************************************************

Kind of short but it's all I could come up with. There shall be more later on ;)

Laurali



#2 Requiem

Posted 13 July 2001 - 06:57 PM

> "Foolish little whelp!" the enraged drow shouted as he dragged

> the squirming child harshly down the narrow stone stairwell. "You

> should have thought beter than to pull another trick such as that!"

Now I'm curious, which trick exactly did Eotech (spelling?) try? Maybe it's only my opinion, but I think this should be somewhere in Your story, best at the beginning somewhere, either described as a memory of the boy, after the first sentences of his father, or as the event the story directly starts with


#3 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 07:06 PM

> Now I'm curious, which trick exactly did Eotech (spelling?) try? Maybe

> it's only my opinion, but I think this should be somewhere in Your story,

> best at the beginning somewhere, either described as a memory of the boy,

> after the first sentences of his father, or as the event the story

> directly starts with

I was going to make it MUCH longer but I did not have any time. I just wanted everyone to see how Etoech's father acted toward him. The details will be shown later on when I'm given more time. Did you even like it? I was rushed when I wrote it so maybe it's not any good...



#4 Requiem

Posted 13 July 2001 - 07:25 PM

> I was going to make it MUCH longer but I did not have any time. I just

> wanted everyone to see how Etoech's father acted toward him. The details

> will be shown later on when I'm given more time. Did you even like it? I

> was rushed when I wrote it so maybe it's not any good...

Don't worry, I liked all of Your Eotech stories so far. The reason, why I didn't write more about this last part was because it was so short, not much to crit or comment. I usually judge stories as a whole, so commenting to the attic stories is a bit difficult for me.


#5 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 07:31 PM

> Don't worry, I liked all of Your Eotech stories so far. The reason, why I

> didn't write more about this last part was because it was so short, not

> much to crit or comment. I usually judge stories as a whole, so commenting

> to the attic stories is a bit difficult for me.

Oh, okay. I really wanted to write more but time was bugging me. I just wanted to show people a little bit of what Etoech's father was like. The "trick" Etoech pulled is very unlike him. When I write more of Etoech's childhood, you will see how different he was then and what changed him. His little trick will be talked about in the next part. I kind of wanted people to ponder over what kind of "trick" he would pull too.


#6 Requiem

Posted 13 July 2001 - 07:35 PM

> Oh, okay. I really wanted to write more but time was bugging me. I just

> wanted to show people a little bit of what Etoech's father was like. The

> "trick" Etoech pulled is very unlike him. When I write more of

> Etoech's childhood, you will see how different he was then and what

> changed him. His little trick will be talked about in the next part. I

> kind of wanted people to ponder over what kind of "trick" he

> would pull too.

Lack of time, the worst foe of the writer, next to writer's block *shudder* reminds me of all the work, which is waiting for me on monday...


#7 Weyoun

Posted 13 July 2001 - 09:15 PM

> Try and guess who the little boy is ;)

Conan O'Brien! Oh, I'm just being silly now, aren't I? ;)

> *********************************************************************

Woundn't you rather use < hr > to get a nice grey line? Just a thought...

> The little drow elf struggled against the strong grip of the large drow.

> "B - but, father!" he protested, tears flowing from his deep

> blue eyes and running his dark cheeks like twin rivers. "I - I didn't

> mean to! I will not do that ever again! I swear! I shall-"

> A wicked slap across his face silenced the dark-elven boy. He bit down

> hard on his lower lip and stared down at the floor, not daring the meet

> the burning gaze of his father.

Aww, that's so sad... Vierna says she wants to give him a big hug! And Laska wants to break that father's neck with her bare hands. Excuse me while I return those two to their Unreal Tournament game before I continue writing this reponse... ;)

> Tightning his grip on the boy's arm, the virulent drow sneered and pulled

> the child closer to him. "Nothing but a useless, pathetic little

> nat," he jeered, the boy never once turning to look at him. "I

> should have killed you when I had the chance. So pitiful you are, why, you

> cannot even look me in the eye, can you? Can you?!" He clutched the

> child's other arm and shook him fiercely, but still the boy did not look

> at him. "Stubborn brat! Not even fit to look me in the eye! Your

> craven actions will one day destroy you! Such a stupid boy you are! Look

> at me, you little coward! Are you afraid?! Look at me!!!"

Where is the boy's mother in this? Surely Etoech's father will not beat him without her permission... Or has she left the boy purely in the father's care? Hmmm, you've raised some questions in this story. (And you still haven't given us the new title...) ;)

> With that, the drow yanked the dungeon door open and pulled his son

> inside, exasperately slamming the door behind him. With a pleasurable

> smile, the drow began to beat his child; each hit leaving splotches of

> dark red blood splattering across the dirty floor. Soon, the deed was done

> and the boy was left weak and decrepit in a corner of the room. As the

> dungeon door slammed shut, the boy shakily persisted to wipe away his

> bloody tears. With his heart full of rage and body trembling from being

> brutally beated, the boy lifted his head up, his tears resembling tiny

> pools of blood as they streamed down his face, and silently uttered a vow

> beneath his breath.

That father is a big fat jerk! I do hope someone stabs him in the eye!

> "You shall pay, father...one day, you shall pay..."

Why do I get the feeling that wasn't an empty threat?

> Kind of short but it's all I could come up with. There shall be more later

> on ;)

There'd better be! But I hope it's slightly less distrubing. Child-abuse is the most vile of crimes, imo...

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#8 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 09:30 PM

> Conan O'Brien! Oh, I'm just being silly now, aren't I? ;)

Yes, you most certainly are :)

> Woundn't you rather use to get a nice grey line? Just a thought...

Use what? I never knew that...heh, I don't even know how to make bold face or italic print!

> Aww, that's so sad... Vierna says she wants to give him a big hug! And

> Laska wants to break that father's neck with her bare hands. Excuse me

> while I return those two to their Unreal Tournament game before I continue

> writing this reponse... :(

Not everyone lives a good life. Poor Etoech was abuse a lot throughout his life...hmm, I think I might make a series about his life. What could I call it then? Have any suggestions? :)

> Where is the boy's mother in this? Surely Etoech's father will not beat

> him without her permission... Or has she left the boy purely in the

> father's care? Hmmm, you've raised some questions in this story.

That's why I wrote it in my rushed time, to raise some questions ;) But if you would like to know, Etoech's mother is quite...different ;D

> (And you still haven't given us the new title...) ;)

Fine fine! I'll tell you, "The Space Between"--it means that there is a space between Etoech and Aaliya; in other words, they are like worlds apart. Drow and surface elves ARE world apart so that's why I chose it. Now you know :)

> That father is a big fat jerk! I do hope someone stabs him in the eye!

He's a pretty powerful guy. I don't think a single stab in the eye could stop him ;) Oops, I forgot to mention what class he was in the little story. Well, he's a type of fighter kit that can't remember, agh!

> Why do I get the feeling that wasn't an empty threat?

Etoech always keeps his promises ;)

> There'd better be! But I hope it's slightly less distrubing. Child-abuse

> is the most vile of crimes, imo...

Disturbing? Cool! I wrote something disturbing, short but still, disturbing. The rest of the story will go off and on from being disturbing, some parts will be...intense, others will be cute :) (at least, I hope they'll be!)


#9 Weyoun

Posted 13 July 2001 - 09:49 PM

> Yes, you most certainly are :(

I usually am... Character trait, I guess...

> Use what? I never knew that...heh, I don't even know how to make bold face

> or italic print!

Check out the Attic-FAQ. It describes it all (except for the grey line). You can find it in the top line, next to the "Post New Message"- buttons.

> Not everyone lives a good life. Poor Etoech was abuse a lot throughout his

> life...hmm, I think I might make a series about his life. What could I

> call it then? Have any suggestions? :)

Well, I'm crap at titles, I think. I've only just now made up a title for my Laska stories...

But I'll give it a try... how about

Anger in Tears

Promises of Vengeance

Growing into Darkness

Oh, those are probably crap too! :( Forget, I said anything...

> That's why I wrote it in my rushed time, to raise some questions ;) But if

> you would like to know, Etoech's mother is quite...different ;D

Oh, no... You've raised yet another question!

> Fine fine! I'll tell you, "The Space Between"--it means that

> there is a space between Etoech and Aaliya; in other words, they are like

> worlds apart. Drow and surface elves ARE world apart so that's why I chose

> it. Now you know :)

Aaliya seems a lot more accepting and open-minded than most other elves, I think. I mean she had Viconia in her party and falls in love with a Drow! That's gotta say something! ;)

> He's a pretty powerful guy. I don't think a single stab in the eye could

> stop him ;) Oops, I forgot to mention what class he was in the little

> story. Well, he's a type of fighter kit that can't remember, agh!

It could if it was done with Lilarcor! ;)

> Etoech always keeps his promises ;)

That's good! OR maybe not so good... depending on your point of view...

> Disturbing? Cool! I wrote something disturbing, short but still,

> disturbing.

It was the child-beating scene that tore me apart... That father dude would't be too happy if someone were to do that to him for a change! *evil grin*

> The rest of the story will go off and on from being

> disturbing, some parts will be...intense, others will be cute :) (at

> least, I hope they'll be!)

There's gotta be some cuteness, too! :)

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#10 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 10:14 PM

> I usually am... Character trait, I guess...

I'm just plan annoying! I'm like a feminine version of Jar Jar Binks to some *shudder*

> Check out the Attic-FAQ. It describes it all (except for the grey line).

> You can find it in the top line, next to the "Post New Message"-

> buttons.

Oh...

> Well, I'm crap at titles, I think.

No you arent :)

> Oh, those are probably crap too! :( Forget, I said anything...

They are actually pretty good...I was thinking of something like "Rebirth" or "Truth In Lies" or even "Colbauth" which means path/known way. What do you think?

> Oh, no... You've raised yet another question!

Hehe, I like to do that ;)

> Aaliya seems a lot more accepting and open-minded than most other elves, I

> think. I mean she had Viconia in her party and falls in love with a Drow!

> That's gotta say something! ;)

She follows her heart but is still wicked bad in some situations and she's not a flawless beauty like some make their characters...

> It could if it was done with Lilarcor! ;)

Probably and if Lilarcor went straight through his skull!

LILARCOR: (to Etoech) "Who's your daddy?!"

> That's good! OR maybe not so good... depending on your point of view...

Well, if you're an enemy of Etoech's then it's not so good...

> It was the child-beating scene that tore me apart... That father dude

> would't be too happy if someone were to do that to him for a change!

> *evil grin*

He deserves to be hurt! Poor Etoech is just an innocent child, he really shouldn't do that to him...

> There's gotta be some cuteness, too! ;)

Ooh, like the introduction of the fabulous kid dragon Makorias? ;)


#11 Weyoun

Posted 13 July 2001 - 10:47 PM

> I'm just plan annoying! I'm like a feminine version of Jar Jar Binks to

> some *shudder*

Anyone who compares any person with Jar-Jar Binks should recieve a swift punch to the nose!;)

> They are actually pretty good...I was thinking of something like

> "Rebirth" or "Truth In Lies" or even

> "Colbauth" which means path/known way. What do you think?

They're good! I personally think Colbauth would be the best... My that's just my humble opinion.

> Hehe, I like to do that :)

I've noticed! :)

> She follows her heart but is still wicked bad in some situations and she's

> not a flawless beauty like some make their characters...

Flawless like El Drizzo?

> Probably and if Lilarcor went straight through his skull!

> LILARCOR: (to Etoech) "Who's your daddy?!"

LOL! Oopps... shouldn't laugh at that one, really... But still...

> Well, if you're an enemy of Etoech's then it's not so good...

I'll stay on his good side then...

> He deserves to be hurt! Poor Etoech is just an innocent child, he really

> shouldn't do that to him...

We are in complete agreement! ;)

> Ooh, like the introduction of the fabulous kid dragon Makorias? :)

...

You've completely lost me here... The only dragons I know are Firkraag and Arohk. The first is dead, the latter is a bit cranky... :)

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#12 Requiem

Posted 14 July 2001 - 02:45 AM

> Ah -- a bit of the backstory you promised us! I agree with Weyoun -- dark and disturbing. I liked it!


#13 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 04:46 AM

> A sudden, spiteful laugh shook the silence. The boy shut his eyes tight,

> anger and fear welling up inside of him as his father laughed; telling him

> what a worthless son he had become and how pathetic he was compared to

> him.

Grrr! Smacking the kid around is bad enough but to enjoy it? This guy is in

need of some serious ass-whupping.

> With that, the drow yanked the dungeon door open and pulled his son

> inside, exasperately slamming the door behind him. With a pleasurable

> smile, the drow began to beat his child; each hit leaving splotches of

> dark red blood splattering across the dirty floor. Soon, the deed was done

> and the boy was left weak and decrepit in a corner of the room. As the

> dungeon door slammed shut, the boy shakily persisted to wipe away his

> bloody tears.

Sniffs...That had me choking up as I was reading it. There's a special place in hell for people who beat their children to a pulp.

> "You shall pay, father...one day, you shall pay..."

This puts me in mind of Les Mis...'Oh, you'd better run for cover when the pup grows up.'

> Kind of short but it's all I could come up with. There shall be more later

> on ;)

Short but powerful. I'll be interested in what's to come.



#14 Guest_Mutant Mike_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 10:34 AM

> This puts me in mind of Les Mis...'Oh, you'd better run for cover when the

> pup grows up.'

Unfortunately, Gavroche died!

Absolutely fantastic show, BTW...


#15 Guest_Mutant Mike_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 11:17 AM

> Try and guess who the little boy is :)

Ah, someone else beat me to it...

A difficult topic to write about. Handled it well, though. It wasn't over the top at all.

> the squirming child harshly down the narrow stone stairwell. "You

> should have thought beter than to pull another trick such as that!"

'better'

> "B - but, father!" he protested, tears flowing from his deep

> blue eyes and running his dark cheeks like twin rivers. "I - I didn't

> mean to! I will not do that ever again! I swear! I shall-"

'...and running down his...' add the 'down'...

> A wicked slap across his face silenced the dark-elven boy. He bit down

> hard on his lower lip and stared down at the floor, not daring the meet

> the burning gaze of his father.

'...not daring to meet...' change the 'the' to 'to'...

> him. The boy hated him - hated him with ever burning fiber in his body.

'...hated him with every burning...' change 'ever' to 'every'

Those were the only nits I found to pick.

Like I said, a difficult subject, and well handled. That is, as long as Daddy gets his come-uppance!

It was short, but not too short. Like Silrana says, 'Get in, make your point and get out!' (Or something like that. :D)

The Pointing Mutant


#16 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 11:59 AM

> Unfortunately, Gavroche died!

True :) I always liked that line though. It's a good reminder for anyone who gets a kick out of abusing other people that someday the tables might get turned.

> Absolutely fantastic show, BTW...

I enjoyed it too. I occasionally find myself warbling some of the music when I'm in the shower, much to the chagrin of any neighbors or small animals within earshot.



#17 Guest_Mutant Mike_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 12:11 PM

> True :) I always liked that line though. It's a good reminder for anyone

> who gets a kick out of abusing other people that someday the tables might

> get turned.

> I enjoyed it too. I occasionally find myself warbling some of the music

> when I'm in the shower, much to the chagrin of any neighbors or small

> animals within earshot.

I have the 3-CD Complete Symphonic Recording, which is basically - the whole show. It also has the complete libretto in it, just to give you the confidence to make sure you're warbling the right words! :D

BTW, where have you been lately? Haven't seen any posts from you since, about, the crossover quiz...

The Mutant Valjean


#18 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 01:12 PM

> I have the 3-CD Complete Symphonic Recording, which is basically - the

> whole show . It also has the complete libretto in it, just to give you the

> confidence to make sure you're warbling the right words! :)

Ooh, I'm jealous. When I can't remember the words to something, I just make up my own.

> BTW, where have you been lately? Haven't seen any posts from you since,

> about, the crossover quiz...

Work, home, family...The whole RL thing. On top of that, I had some serious posting problems for the past couple of weeks but it looks as though everything's been fixed. Yay, Leo!


#19 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 01:54 PM

I've switched gears, I think...dark and disturbing is now taking over my world! Hmm...I suddenly thought of Pinky and Brain when I wrote that..anyway! Beware all for I am now Princess of Darkness!!!! (my mom is the Queen of Darkness :))

Glad you liked my little story :D

Laurali The Princess of Darkness AND Invincible Sword Goddess ;)


#20 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 01:59 PM

> Anyone who compares any person with Jar-Jar Binks should recieve a swift

> punch to the nose!:)

Well, it was my friend who did the Gay Pirate Dance so, you know...

> They're good! I personally think Colbauth would be the best... My that's

> just my humble opinion.

I'll see what my dad says, he's pretty good at deciding such thing :)

> I've noticed! :D

*evil laugh* I AM the Princess of Darkness now!

> Flawless like El Drizzo?

Super D is too powerful! He's like one step below Demi-God, he probably already IS one!

> LOL! Oopps... shouldn't laugh at that one, really... But still...

...it's funny haha ;)

> I'll stay on his good side then...

Yeah, just wait until you see his anger unleashed. Will be pretty creepy...

> We are in complete agreement! :)

Yay!

> ...

> You've completely lost me here... The only dragons I know are Firkraag and

> Arohk. The first is dead, the latter is a bit cranky... :)

Makorias is MY creation so don't worry cause you've never heard of him anyway :) He's a copper dragon, they're regularly Chaotic Good and like to go out on adventures. Etoech and him are real good friends for some reason...

Laurali





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