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Here we go again, oot - of course, sigh


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#1 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 02:56 PM

Hello all!

I have not been here for quite a while so it is nice to see you all still here and as creative as ever! I started writing the 'Story' again, though it is painfully slow. Here is an excerpt.

As usual critique is humbly requested. ;)

*************************************************************************

We traversed the corridors behind the tomb, fending off the shadows of wolves and humanoids alike. It was dark, dusty, and desolate. We located another stone altar with the glowing stone, albeit a smaller one then the one above the ground. The shadows would not come into that place. The stone was easily removable and I decided to take it with us, which later proved to be a smart idea.

The place was depressing. The late god had been a power to recon with, in his days of glory. The unknown artisans, who decorated his temple, invested a lot of time and talent into the ornate floor mosaics and wall carvings. All these work now was ruined. The shadows left their mark everywhere.

I felt a strange pity for the deceased deity and its worshippers mixed with a great deal of irritation, for the never ending maze of dark corridors filled with crumbling statuary did not provide any clue to the location of the supposed evil culprit – the Shadow Lord.

Being the student of the Craft, I have heard of the shadow magic and the shadow weave, which was supposedly intermixed invisibly with the regular magical field. It was only available to the few outcasts - dedicated shadow mages.

Unlike normal magic, which was the domain of Mystra the shadow weave was rumored to be controlled by Shar, the deity of darkness and deceit. ( I truly would never will understand Viconia's affection to her!) To think of the creature of the Shadow Plane escaping into our Realm was, to say the least, discomforting. I knew, I would not be able to detect it magically, but I hoped that once revealed it would be vulnerable to our normal magic.

One of the corridors suddenly opened into a chamber which contained a huge human head, carved from the finest quality golden alabaster. The sculpture depicted a male cleric in the ceremonial headdress of rather old-fashioned design, and was not what you would call a piece of exceptional beauty. The statue's eyes were closed, with heavy eyelids bulging on the cold and arrogant face, and narrow lips puckered tightly in a kind of a scowl.

“Definitely not my type,” I chuckled nervously.

Anomen grimaced and his rather plump mouth tightened in a hard line, not unlike the statue's.

“This guy was certainly not a top-runner in the popularity contest,” Jaheira nodded in agreement.

“This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated delight.

“You see, Cheery Jansen had inherited a funeral business from his grandfather on the mother's side, but with the name like his and the face pink like newborn baby's his clients could not believe he would do the job properly.” Jan shook his head sadly. It always surprised me how thoroughly he was pulled into fabrication each one of his stories. Suddenly, his eyes flashed with a surge of creative energy.

“First he changed his name to Gloomy and then started working on developing a permanent frown. Had spent hours before the mirror, poor chap! Did not work. So, he started adding vinegar to his turnip tea. Ended up with an ulcer and his wife running away with a neighbor - all to promote the family business. Tis' a wonder, what some people do to get the right contortion!” Jan shot a side-glance at our cleric, but Anomen remained stone-faced.

I giggled. “This time you surely made it up, Jan. Everybody knows that most women are attracted to the dark and moody, romantic characters. So his wife surely would have liked his new looks!”

“But your worship, he did not turn out dark. Just yellow and sour like a lemon!” Jan winked and nodded in our square's direction.

“I am not going to be the butt of your jokes forever, gnome!” His victim finally exploded. “You are playing with fire and …” His last words trailed off as he noticed everybody's smirks.

“Ah, why should I waste my breath on talking to the likes of you! You have no concept of honor or decency.”

“Oh, this young generation. Always full of themselves, they are. Why would he think my cousin Gloomy had anything to do with him is beyond me,” the gnome shook his head sadly.

“Enough of this nonsense,” Jaheira interrupted suddenly. “Leave him be, Jan. You are getting annoying now. Let's apply ourselves to the task at hand and solve this riddle once and forever!”

I nodded in agreement and walked to the statue to examine it closely. As my fingers traversed the smooth surface of the beautiful yellow-pink stone a sudden shock run through my hand. The floor trembled and a bright rosé glow lit the statue from inside. Then the ear-splitting, monstrous sound of the stone grating on stone filled the chamber and the statue spoke.

“…!”

For Oghma's sake, talking to the gods is not my favorite recreational activity. In fact, I refuse to socialize with extra-planar beings and deities as a matter of a principle. THEY like to talk to me, not the other way around. It runs in the family. The talking statue of Amaunator was an unpleasant surprise.

At that time the Sun god was not entirely dead and was able to channel some of his remaining powers into the stupid stone head. What pissed me most in that first exchange though, was the fact that even on his deathbed ( literally speaking - that is how I visualized an immortal soul hanging on the drifts of ether somewhere in the outer Planes, it gives you simpler mortal perspective) Amaunator insisted on testing my knowledge of the tenets of his faith!

The statue sprouted a jet of pure fire every time I tried to reason with it. I did not like this. I was tired of being spat at, especially with fire. I did not care about the order in which his morning ritual have had to be performed. I had to use protection spells and some concoction that granted fire resistance to solve his annoying riddles and the whole experience was not very pleasant. Thanks Oghma, Jaheira was always carrying potions in her backpack (like the pack rat she is). She knows a lot about herbal remedies and tonics, I'll grant her that.

I can start speculating on the effect the immortality has on one's sense of humor and overall personality, but I do not wish to do it. The old records in the Candlekeep library state that Amaunator was the god of Bureaucracy on top of being the Sun god. By what means he had acquired that portfolio is a mystery, but it probably had suited him right at the first place.

As the later events proved, that was also his undoing, may whoever takes care of the immortals have mercy on his soul. I do not wish to jump ahead of myself here, so I would say no more. I made my peace with Amaunator's faith at the end, for he had helped me in the moment of my greatest need, when my soul was in such a state of despair and grief that everything seemed to be lost. But I do not wish to speak of this.

What we have got from the conversation with the statue after the initial ordeal with the ceremonies was over was a fragment of the holy seal of Amaunator. It was used to protect the main altar from any physical attack. The seal was broken and the fragments hidden by the last faithful priests somewhere inside the temple. Being an ethereal being, as he was, the seal did not stop the Shadow Lord from getting access to the altar. But it efficiently prevented us from entering the area and dealing with him.

The statue was not able to pinpoint the direct locations of the seal pieces, but gave us enough vague directions to be able to figure it out. It also insisted that I carry the crystal shard from the smaller altar with me. The gem allowed us to pass through the shifting shadow barriers which the Shadow fiend placed around his headquarters.

Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!



#2 Requiem

Posted 13 July 2001 - 07:02 PM

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

> “You see, Cheery Jansen had inherited a funeral business from his

> grandfather on the mother's side, but with the name like his and the face

> pink like newborn baby's his clients could not believe he would do the job

> properly.” Jan shook his head sadly. It always surprised me how thoroughly

> he was pulled into fabrication each one of his stories. Suddenly, his eyes

> flashed with a surge of creative energy.

> “First he changed his name to Gloomy and then started working on

> developing a permanent frown. Had spent hours before the mirror, poor

> chap! Did not work. So, he started adding vinegar to his turnip tea. Ended

> up with an ulcer and his wife running away with a neighbor - all to

> promote the family business. Tis' a wonder, what some people do to get the

> right contortion!” Jan shot a side-glance at our cleric, but Anomen

> remained stone-faced.

> I giggled. “This time you surely made it up, Jan. Everybody knows that

> most women are attracted to the dark and moody, romantic characters. So

> his wife surely would have liked his new looks!”

> “But your worship, he did not turn out dark. Just yellow and sour like a

> lemon!” Jan winked and nodded in our square's direction.

Hmm, what do we learn from this story? If the customers don't think You look right for the job, hire somebody who looks like the cliche they want, and let him do the talk with them. Spares You drinking vinegar, but of course Your wife might run off nevertheless ;)


#3 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 08:15 PM

> Hmm, what do we learn from this story? If the customers don't think You

> look right for the job, hire somebody who looks like the cliche they want,

> and let him do the talk with them. Spares You drinking vinegar, but of

> course Your wife might run off nevertheless ;)

Uau, you actually found a morale in this one. ;)

To think of it you are close to the point, for Anomen is trying to imitate cliche's ( albeit noble ones) and that is why Jan is after him all the time IMHO. I guess I was influenced by two new Jan/Ano dialogs in ToB here.


#4 Weyoun

Posted 13 July 2001 - 09:30 PM

> Hello all!

> I have not been here for quite a while so it is nice to see you all still

> here and as creative as ever! I started writing the 'Story' again, though

> it is painfully slow. Here is an excerpt.

> As usual critique is humbly requested. ;)

Ah, welcome back!

> The place was depressing. The late god had been a power to recon with, in

> his days of glory. The unknown artisans, who decorated his temple,

> invested a lot of time and talent into the ornate floor mosaics and wall

> carvings. All these work now was ruined. The shadows left their mark

> everywhere.

> I felt a strange pity for the deceased deity and its worshippers mixed

> with a great deal of irritation, for the never ending maze of dark

> corridors filled with crumbling statuary did not provide any clue to the

> location of the supposed evil culprit – the Shadow Lord.

Loved this scene. It is certainly something Haer'Dalis might appreciate, I think.;)

> One of the corridors suddenly opened into a chamber which contained a huge

> human head, carved from the finest quality golden alabaster. The sculpture

> depicted a male cleric in the ceremonial headdress of rather old-fashioned

> design, and was not what you would call a piece of exceptional beauty. The

> statue's eyes were closed, with heavy eyelids bulging on the cold and

> arrogant face, and narrow lips puckered tightly in a kind of a scowl.

> “Definitely not my type,” I chuckled nervously.

LOL... Great line!

> “First he changed his name to Gloomy and then started working on

> developing a permanent frown. Had spent hours before the mirror, poor

> chap! Did not work. So, he started adding vinegar to his turnip tea. Ended

> up with an ulcer and his wife running away with a neighbor - all to

> promote the family business. Tis' a wonder, what some people do to get the

> right contortion!” Jan shot a side-glance at our cleric, but Anomen

> remained stone-faced.

You know, I think good Jan is trying to tell Ano something, don't you think? ;)

> “Ah, why should I waste my breath on talking to the likes of you! You have

> no concept of honor or decency.”

> “Oh, this young generation. Always full of themselves, they are. Why would

> he think my cousin Gloomy had anything to do with him is beyond me,” the

> gnome shook his head sadly.

LOL!

> At that time the Sun god was not entirely dead and was able to channel

> some of his remaining powers into the stupid stone head. What pissed me

> most in that first exchange though, was the fact that even on his deathbed

> ( literally speaking - that is how I visualized an immortal soul hanging

> on the drifts of ether somewhere in the outer Planes, it gives you simpler

> mortal perspective) Amaunator insisted on testing my knowledge of the

> tenets of his faith!

Amaunator always was a rule freak... *sigh* I got flamed many times, before I found out you could actually find discriptions of the rituals inside the dungeon! ;)

> The statue sprouted a jet of pure fire every time I tried to reason with

> it. I did not like this. I was tired of being spat at, especially with

> fire. I did not care about the order in which his morning ritual have had

> to be performed. I had to use protection spells and some concoction that

> granted fire resistance to solve his annoying riddles and the whole

> experience was not very pleasant. Thanks Oghma, Jaheira was always

> carrying potions in her backpack (like the pack rat she is). She knows a

> lot about herbal remedies and tonics, I'll grant her that.

That statue is just lucky the "Bazooka" hasn't been invented yet! ;)

> Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of

> the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track

> once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!

MAZZY!!! Cool!

I must admit I've gotten a bit behind on your story, but since it's the summer-break now, I've got plenty of time... This was good, and I don't see anything in need of critique. I loved it...

---Weyoun

TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#5 Guest_Dwagon_*

Posted 13 July 2001 - 11:27 PM

> Hello all!

> I have not been here for quite a while so it is nice to see you all still

> here and as creative as ever! I started writing the 'Story' again, though

> it is painfully slow.

nice to see you back here:)...definately nice to see more of your story, i'd been wondering what they'd all been getting up too *grin*

> The place was depressing. The late god had been a power to recon with, in

> his days of glory.

'recon' should be 'reckon'

All these work now was ruined.

'these' should be 'this' or 'their'

> I felt a strange pity for the deceased deity and its worshippers mixed

> with a great deal of irritation, for the never ending maze of dark

> corridors filled with crumbling statuary did not provide any clue to the

> location of the supposed evil culprit – the Shadow Lord.

*grin*...it is a bit odd for a god of the sun to have such a maze of a temple:)

I knew, I would not be able to detect it magically,

> but I hoped that once revealed it would be vulnerable to our normal magic.

don't think you need a comma between 'knew' and 'I'

> Anomen grimaced and his rather plump mouth tightened in a hard line, not

> unlike the statue's.

something tells me that if amaunarot was still worshipped Anomen could've made a perfect cleric for him:)..all those rules and regulations:)

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

yay Jan!!!

> “I am not going to be the butt of your jokes forever, gnome!” His victim

> finally exploded. “You are playing with fire and …” His last words trailed

> off as he noticed everybody's smirks.

'you icky man!' ;))))

> “Oh, this young generation. Always full of themselves, they are. Why would

> he think my cousin Gloomy had anything to do with him is beyond me,” the

> gnome shook his head sadly.

*snigger*...you capture Jan perfectly here:)))

For Oghma's sake, talking to the gods is not my favorite recreational

> activity. In fact, I refuse to socialize with extra-planar beings and

> deities as a matter of a principle. THEY like to talk to me, not the other

> way around. It runs in the family.

wonder how she's gonna cope in ToB with that not-talking-to-extra-planar-begins attitude:)

> At that time the Sun god was not entirely dead and was able to channel

> some of his remaining powers into the stupid stone head. What pissed me

> most in that first exchange though, was the fact that even on his deathbed

> ( literally speaking - that is how I visualized an immortal soul hanging

> on the drifts of ether somewhere in the outer Planes, it gives you simpler

> mortal perspective) Amaunator insisted on testing my knowledge of the

> tenets of his faith!

how true:)...doesn't really mak that much sense, surely amaunator would be eager to get rid of the shdows in whatever way He could...

Thanks Oghma, Jaheira was always

> carrying potions in her backpack (like the pack rat she is).

*grin*...that last line reminds me a certain imp :)

She knows a

>Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of

> the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track

> once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!

aha!:)

another excellent installment of the story...apart from a few typos i couldn't see anything to critique and i look forward to reading more:)...nice to have you back with us again:)

Dwagon



#6 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 12:01 AM

> I must admit I've gotten a bit behind on your story, but since it's the

> summer-break now, I've got plenty of time... This was good, and I don't

> see anything in need of critique. I loved it...

No wonder you did. I did not write anything new for the last 3 months. Thanks for your kind words. After such a long break it is kind of awkward to start writing about BG again.


#7 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 12:11 AM

> nice to see you back here:)...definately nice to see more of your story,

> i'd been wondering what they'd all been getting up too *grin*

I was wondering myself. They did not get very far as you can see.

> wonder how she's gonna cope in ToB with that

> not-talking-to-extra-planar-begins attitude:)

Heh. I almost finished ToB by now. That's were this line is coming from ...

>...apart from a few typos

The typos are most annoying and hard to find. Thanks for your help. I greatly appreciate it. I'll make sure that final online version won't have the ones you have found. ;)



#8 Requiem

Posted 14 July 2001 - 02:39 AM

> Hello all!

> I have not been here for quite a while so it is nice to see you all still

> here and as creative as ever! I started writing the 'Story' again, though

> it is painfully slow. Here is an excerpt.

> As usual critique is humbly requested. ;)

Welcome back Dorotea! I'll start off by telling you that I enjoyed the excerpt, particularly the Jan story. He does love to play games with Anomen's head, doesn't he? And Anomen never seems to understand that if he'd just stop reacting, Jan would probably stop picking on him! :)

I noticed a few things...my evil twin (I am a Gemini after all) keeps pushing me out of the chair so she can make a few notes. I don't usually do this -- don't know why this quiz has been different. Why is it that I can pick up stuff in someone else's stories so much better than my own? (which is to say that turn about is fair play and you're welcome to point out stuff in my stories as well.) ;D

> The late god had been a power to recon with,

reckon

The unknown artisans, who decorated his temple,

No commas needed

> > Being the student of the Craft

a student (unless you're the first one or the only one, of course).

> Unlike normal magic, which was the domain of Mystra the shadow weave was

I think a comma is needed between Mystra and the shadow weave

> > One of the corridors suddenly opened into a chamber which contained a huge

> human head, carved from the finest quality golden alabaster. The sculpture

> depicted a male cleric in the ceremonial headdress

a ceremonial headdress

>of rather old-fashioned

> design, and was not what you would call a piece of exceptional beauty.

btw - this was a great description!!!

> Anomen grimaced and his rather plump mouth tightened in a hard line, not

> unlike the statue's.

Again, I liked the description.

> “This guy was certainly not a top-runner in the popularity contest,”

> Jaheira nodded in agreement.

a popularity contest -- although the phrase "beauty contest" might make more sense.

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

Yay - a Jan story!

> “You see, Cheery Jansen had inherited a funeral business from his

> grandfather on the mother's side, but with the name like his

a name like his

> and the face pink like newborn baby's his clients could not believe he would do the job

a face as pink as a newborn baby's (or "a face, pink like a newborn baby's,)

> It always surprised me how thoroughly

> he was pulled into fabrication each one of his stories. Suddenly, his eyes

> flashed with a surge of creative energy.

I think I understand what you're trying to say here, but there are a few words missing. "he was pulled into the fabrication of each" would be more correct. I think what you're trying to say is that you're surprised with how involved he gets in making up his stories, right?

Had spent hours before the mirror, poor

> chap!

Eliminate "had". "Spent hours before the mirror, poor chap!

Tis' a wonder, what some people do to get the

> right contortion!” Jan shot a side-glance at our cleric, but Anomen

> remained stone-faced.

*snicker*

> I giggled. “This time you surely made it up, Jan. Everybody knows that

> most women are attracted to the dark and moody, romantic characters. So

> his wife surely would have liked his new looks!”

...attracted to dark and moody.... (no "the")

> “But your worship, he did not turn out dark. Just yellow and sour like a

> lemon!” Jan winked and nodded in our square's direction.

> “I am not going to be the butt of your jokes forever, gnome!” His victim

> finally exploded. “You are playing with fire and …” His last words trailed

> off as he noticed everybody's smirks.

> “Ah, why should I waste my breath on talking to the likes of you! You have

> no concept of honor or decency.”

> “Oh, this young generation. Always full of themselves, they are. Why would

> he think my cousin Gloomy had anything to do with him is beyond me,” the

> gnome shook his head sadly.

You definitely captured Anomen and Jan here! :

> The statue sprouted a jet of pure fire every time I tried to reason with

> it. I did not like this.

Me neither!

I was tired of being spat at,

spit at

Thanks Oghma,

Thank

> By what means he had acquired

> that portfolio is a mystery, but it probably had suited him right at the

> first place.

probably suited him right in the first place.

> Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of

> the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track

> once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!

Mazzy! With Jan! Oh boy!



#9 Guest_Anonymous_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 04:35 AM

> Anomen grimaced and his rather plump mouth tightened in a hard line, not

> unlike the statue's.

Ouch!

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

A wonderful vintage Jan story. Poor Anomen...always such an easy target.

> I giggled. “This time you surely made it up, Jan. Everybody knows that

> most women are attracted to the dark and moody, romantic characters. So

> his wife surely would have liked his new looks!”

Sighs...so true.

> “Oh, this young generation. Always full of themselves, they are. Why would

> he think my cousin Gloomy had anything to do with him is beyond me,” the

> gnome shook his head sadly.

Howls!

> The statue sprouted a jet of pure fire every time I tried to reason with

> it. I did not like this.

I didn't either. That's why I sent Aerie to do my dirty work. ;)

I didn't find any major problems here aside from a few typos here and there that I think other people pointed out. I'm glad you're back with more Story and hope you'll continue.



#10 Guest_Mutant Mike_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 11:58 AM

> Hello all!

Hello right back at ya! Nice to see you back!

> I have not been here for quite a while so it is nice to see you all still

> here and as creative as ever! I started writing the 'Story' again, though

> it is painfully slow. Here is an excerpt.

> As usual critique is humbly requested. :D

I noticed a few things, most of which were already pointed out... Unfortunately, here are a couple more - (*ducking*)...

> rumored to be controlled by Shar, the deity of darkness and deceit. ( I

> truly would never will understand Viconia's affection to her!) To think of

'I truly never will understand...'

> “Definitely not my type,” I chuckled nervously.

Hopefully no one would admit to it being their type. :)

> “This guy was certainly not a top-runner in the popularity contest,”

> Jaheira nodded in agreement.

An off-the-cuff remark from Jaheira? Check her temperature.

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

Uh-oh... A Jan story...

> “But your worship, he did not turn out dark. Just yellow and sour like a

> lemon!” Jan winked and nodded in our square's direction.

Do you mean '... our squire's direction.' Referring to Anomen?

> my fingers traversed the smooth surface of the beautiful yellow-pink stone

> a sudden shock run through my hand. The floor trembled and a bright rosé

'...sudden shock ran through...'

> At that time the Sun god was not entirely dead and was able to channel

> some of his remaining powers into the stupid stone head. What pissed me

> most in that first exchange though, was the fact that even on his deathbed

'What pissed me off the most...' I'm not sure how global that slang term is, but here in the US, someone might say that they 'got pissed', but it is a shortened term for the slang 'pissed off'...

> fire. I did not care about the order in which his morning ritual have had

> to be performed. I had to use protection spells and some concoction that

'...morning ritual had had to be...' I know, it sounds redundant...

> What we have got from the conversation with the statue after the initial

'What we had got...'

> Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of

> the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track

> once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!

Alright! Mazzy! One of my favorite characters but so few people write about her.

Good piece! Glad you're back, and I hope to see the next part soon. <*wanders off mumbling about cute halflings*>

The Mutant Mazzy-Fan


#11 Laufey

Posted 14 July 2001 - 02:50 PM

The sculpture

> depicted a male cleric in the ceremonial headdress of rather old-fashioned

> design, and was not what you would call a piece of exceptional beauty. The

> statue's eyes were closed, with heavy eyelids bulging on the cold and

> arrogant face, and narrow lips puckered tightly in a kind of a scowl.

> “Definitely not my type,” I chuckled nervously.

LOL! No, I can well imagine that. Especially the fire spitting part.

> “This reminds me of my late third-cousin Cheery,” Jan started happily.

> Anomen moaned, Minsc smirked and Yoshimo's eyes sparkled with anticipated

> delight.

Loved the entire Jansen story. Top quality. :D And poor Ano, tormented as usual. :)

> The statue sprouted a jet of pure fire every time I tried to reason with

> it. I did not like this. I was tired of being spat at, especially with

> fire. I did not care about the order in which his morning ritual have had

> to be performed.

Couldn't agree more.

> I can start speculating on the effect the immortality has on one's sense

> of humor and overall personality, but I do not wish to do it. The old

> records in the Candlekeep library state that Amaunator was the god of

> Bureaucracy on top of being the Sun god. By what means he had acquired

> that portfolio is a mystery, but it probably had suited him right at the

> first place.

Oh yeah. God of Bureaucracy.... *shivers* Not the kind of guy who's a hit at parties I think.

>

> Somewhat satisfied with this information we prepared to storm the heart of

> the temple when an unexpected, but pleasant development threw us off track

> once again. We found the missing damsel in distress!

If Ano makes that comment about 'lowly halflings' could you please put him straight? Thank you. ;)


Rogues do it from behind.

#12 Guest_Dwagon_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 04:17 PM

> 'What pissed me off the most...' I'm not sure how global that slang term

> is, but here in the US, someone might say that they 'got pissed', but it

> is a shortened term for the slang 'pissed off'...

'pissed off' means annoyed over here, but if you're just 'pissed' you're drunk:)...always end up doing at bit of a double take when someone describes their character as 'pissed' when they're just annoyed:)...end up wondering how exactly they got drunk in the middle of a story:)

Dwagon


#13 Requiem

Posted 14 July 2001 - 04:48 PM

> Uau, you actually found a morale in this one. :)

> To think of it you are close to the point, for Anomen is trying to imitate

> cliche's ( albeit noble ones) and that is why Jan is after him all the

> time IMHO. I guess I was influenced by two new Jan/Ano dialogs in ToB

> here.

Arrrgh! Stil three days before it's sold over here!


#14 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 06:23 PM

Thanks for the time you spent going through the story. I 've spent 2 month in Russia so my english is kinda riugh as it always gets after I switch languages for a while.

> Why is it that I

> can pick up stuff in someone else's stories so much better than my own?

The funny thing is - so do I.

> (which is to say that turn about is fair play and you're welcome to point

> out stuff in my stories as well.) ;D

Ok I will. I had not tread any Attic stories for quite a while I suppose I have to catch up.

> Mazzy! With Jan! Oh boy!

Oh yeah, I only recently discovered who was Golodon, after I got Mazzy in the party for a while. lol



#15 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 06:28 PM

Thanks for your kind support, I'll try to continue. I really did not expect so much interest after so long. :)



#16 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 06:31 PM

> If Ano makes that comment about 'lowly halflings' could you please put him

> straight? Thank you. :D

Oh I sure will.

BTW, I loved your wild mage dwarf lady. Sorry I had missed so much of the Attic. I wonder if you had continued with her saga and where can I look for more Violet(?) stories ? :)



#17 Guest_Dorotea_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 06:39 PM

> Hello right back at ya! Nice to see you back!

Thanks Mike.

I REALLY do appreciate ppl spending their time on correcting my grammar,(after all that is My time that is been saved) I wonder if we should start awarding prizes of a sort to the most active critics. lol.

Really, If could I would have sent you and Jeanette and Dwagon a big box of chocolates each. Should speak with Leo on this.

> Alright! Mazzy! One of my favorite characters but so few people write

> about her.

Cute one, ain't she?



#18 Requiem

Posted 14 July 2001 - 09:18 PM

> Thanks Mike.

> I REALLY do appreciate ppl spending their time on correcting my

> grammar,(after all that is My time that is been saved) I wonder if we

> should start awarding prizes of a sort to the most active critics. lol.

> Really, If could I would have sent you and Jeanette and Dwagon a big box

> of chocolates each. Should speak with Leo on this.

You're welcome! We can all use a hand from time to time, believe me! After some point in writing, editing and re-editing one's stuff, you start to see it the way it's supposed to be as opposed to what's really written on the screen - at least I do! :)



#19 Laufey

Posted 14 July 2001 - 09:30 PM

> Oh I sure will.

> BTW, I loved your wild mage dwarf lady. Sorry I had missed so much of the

> Attic. I wonder if you had continued with her saga and where can I look

> for more Violet(?) stories ? :)

Violet Rose Petunia Skullcracker. Quite right. :) Two to be found in the short stories archive, the third and latest was up last quiz and should also be available soon. And she will be back eventually, I'm sure of it.


Rogues do it from behind.

#20 Guest_Dwagon_*

Posted 14 July 2001 - 09:45 PM

> I REALLY do appreciate ppl spending their time on correcting my

> grammar,(after all that is My time that is been saved) I wonder if we

> should start awarding prizes of a sort to the most active critics. lol.

> Really, If could I would have sent you and Jeanette and Dwagon a big box

> of chocolates each. Should speak with Leo on this.

hehehe:)...as jeanette says it's very hard to see the mistakes in your own work sometimes, and i know how useful critiques can be in pointing out the blinding obvious mistakes that you were positive weren't in there before you posted:)...

Dwagon





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