Throne Of Cards 61 – Marks And Misdirection
Improvised sleight-of-hand is fun, but the longer cons are especially thrilling. The one hidden secret to them is this: No matter what you’re looking at, it’s exactly what we want you to see.
Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’
“Most certainly, sir Mordred,” Ulraunt said with a self-important smile. “This recent acquisition of mine…I mean of Candlekeep’s, is a rare tome indeed, and I should be delighted to show it to an upstanding member of…the Society of…”
“The Order Of The Black Cloaks,” Edwin sneered, although the effect was somewhat diminished by the false beard that was obscuring a great deal of his face. Still, the thing was doing what it was supposed to, at least. Perhaps the pink imp does know a thing or two after all. “It comes as a surprise that a supposed wizard of knowledge and learning should be ignorant about us. Then again, some certain few of our activities are not for the narrow of view or faint of heart.” His smile turned malevolent. “Did you know that one of my colleagues recently invented a spell to make an entire castle…disappear? And you will address me as ‘Wizard Mordred’.”
“Disappear?” Ulraunt said, sounding both skeptical and slightly worried. “That is surely impossible!”
“Interesting that you should say that, as it was the first word out of the king’s mouth when he came home from a leisurely stroll. Now, about that tour…”
This was all going rather well, Edwin thought as he trailed along after Ulraunt, his black robes billowing impressively behind him. A few credentials, carefully forged by his beloved, the right attitude from Edwin himself, and Ulraunt was practically eating out of his hand. Why, he barely had to make an effort at all.
Don’t worry about acting the part, Zaerini had told him with a quick flash of a smile. We will tailor the part to fit you, instead. Just be yourself. Well, more or less be yourself. Don’t set anything on fire, and we’ll be golden.
Yes, so far it was all working beautifully, and there was no need to inform anybody that ‘Wizard Mordred Of The Black Cloak’ had been the name of Edwin’s character in many a game of ‘Wizard in The Dungeon’ played with his father all those years ago.
“Here we are,” Ulraunt stated as he stopped before a massive door. Two very tall, very muscular monks were posted on either side of the door, staring straight ahead and scowling. There had been other monks patrolling the closer hallways as well, Edwin had noticed, but these two looked as if they could crush a man’s skull with just their pinky finger. “It is kept under careful guard, of course, as befits the most precious object in my…Candlekeep’s collection. Would you believe it that some fools gave it up simply for entering the Keep? Ha ha!”
“Ha.” Edwin said, quietly grinding his teeth.
“Open up,” Ulraunt told the monks. They unlocked two big locks, each of them simultaneously using one key on one lock, and then pulled the doors open, allowing the two wizards to step inside. “Now hold a moment,” the Master of Candlekeep warned. “Allow it to accept you as my guest. It will attack any humanoid entering this room, unless they are accompanied by me.”
“It?” Edwin asked. All he could see, the thing that was filling his vision entirely, was the book. The glorious book, the ‘History Of The Nether Scrolls’, the object of his desire. It sat on a raised dais, on top of a fluffy red satin pillow, and it was covered by a glass case. Thick glass, probably not easily broken. For a moment longer he allowed himself to stare at his prize, but then he saw what Ulraunt had been speaking of. He had thought it to be a pile of leftover scrolls and mangled books, unceremoniously stacked in a corner and not worthy of attention. Now the pile was…moving. It was rising up, unfolding itself and taking on a definite shape. Paper legs, bulky paper torso, tiny paper head, and paper arms ending in sharp paper claws. “A golem?” He asked.
“Are paper golems not known by the Order Of The Black Cloaks?” Ulraunt said with an annoying little smirk. “I assure you, it is very useful. Now, you may think it is a feeble thing, weaker than a golem of clay or stone, but you would be mistaken. Allow me to demonstrate.” He took a small piece of bread out of his pocket. “Boy, show what you can do.” Then he threw the bread. There was a flash of white, a sharp ‘rrrtsh’ sound, and a few crumbs fluttered to the ground. “I am told a death by papercuts is exceedingly unpleasant,” Ulraunt mused. “As you can see, this paper is treated to be both strong and sharp, and since it was made from tomes of magic it makes the golem entirely resistant to spells as well. Fire could be a danger, but if the heat of this room rises too high the alarm will go off, the doors will automatically shut from the outside and the entire room will be flooded with water. Any thief attempting such a thing would be drowned like a rat. Impressive, no?”
“Impressive,” Edwin grudgingly agreed. He peered at the case containing the book again. There were quite a few magical wards in the air surrounding it, and he could tell that they would slice an unsuspecting thief neatly in parts. But this was what not was captivating his attention. He stared at the case itself, trying to take everything in, down to the tiniest detail. Let’s hope they are getting this.
-*-
“Are you getting it?” Zaerini said. The redhead was sitting on the bed in her old room, focusing on keeping the spell steady. It was a complicated, and yet elegant little illusion, something she had been working on in what little spare time she had. Anything Edwin was seeing and hearing could be transmitted to Insufferable through the familiar link. Anything Insufferable received that way could be sent on to Softpaws through whatever weird space all familiars occupied before they were summoned. And anything Softpaws received would be passed on to Rini herself. All the spell needed to do was make it visible for the benefits of whoever needed the information. Such as our resident thief.
“Getting it loud and clear,” Imoen said, looking as pleased as a cat who just got into a jar of cream. “Keep talking Ulraunt, yeah, give it to us baby…”
“Ugh, don’t say that! Talk about horrible mental image. I need to concentrate to keep this up.”
“Heh, sorry. Eddie’s doing a good job scouting the place though.”
“So we’ve got the guards, the locks, the golem, the wards…”
“Pressure plate traps on the floor. Anybody standing close enough to the case to touch it will set off the alarms. Another pressure plate on the case itself, lifting it up will remove the pressure and set off the alarms. Magnetic traps along the room’s perimeter, anything metal brought inside the room will…”
“…set off the alarms. So ix-nay on the ockpicks-lay.”
“Yep. Oh, and another trap on the pillow. It’s weight sensitive. Any sudden shifts in amount of weight on the pillow and it’s curtains for the unprepared burglar.”
The girls looked at each other, eyes twinkling.
“Well then,” Zaerini said. “Good thing we’ll be prepared.”
-*-
All in all, Nialos Sevenar thought he’d landed a pretty cushy job. Yes, it sometimes involved late-night duty, but the food was decent, the shifts weren’t any longer than he could manage, and the amount of times he’d seen real combat could be counted on one finger. Thieves as a rule had the mentality of a magpie and would go after shiny objects like gold or giant emeralds, not old books. And such thieves as truly understood the worth of some of Candlekeep’s rare tomes were also likely to be clever enough not to attempt to burgle one of the best defended fortresses in all of Faerun. There were hidden access ways all over, to allow guards to rapidly circle in on a thief, there were traps and wards constructed by the finest craftsmen available, and most of all, there was secrecy. Nialos knew how to avoid the traps along his set patrol path, but there were other parts of the castle where he knew better than to venture uninvited. No, the most danger he would be likely to find himself in would be death from boredom. His route involved one of the lower parapets, as well as a couple of stairwells and corridors, and that was it. Nothing had ever happened there, and nothing ever would.
“Good evening, soldier.”
Nialos startled for just a second, but then he stepped forward, hand on the hilt of his sword. The slender woman was standing right outside the door to the stairwell, a dark silhouette against the deepening blue of the sky behind her. Then she stepped forward, moonlight shimmering in her dark hair, hands folded demurely into the sleeves of her mage robe. A recent guest to the Keep, he thought.
“I’m sorry, my lady,” He said. “The area above is restricted from visitors.”
“Oh, is it really?” Her voice was quite pleasantly accented, he thought. Very exotic. “You must forgive my ignorance, Rasheman has a vast amount of wilderness but very few fortresses of such splendor as this. I’m afraid I’ve got quite turned around on my way to my quarters, with no idea of where I am. It is my first visit, after all.”
“Of course,” Nialos said, stepping forward. “Even so, I’m sorry, but you must leave at once.” She looked peaceful enough, but that could be a trick, and his training had been thorough enough to warn him of such things.
“Peace,” The woman laughed softly, raising both her hands, palms toward him. “See? No weapons. Look closely, as closely as you like.”
Instinctively, the guardsman took a step closer, his attention drawn by the woman’s pale hands as she stretched and flexed her fingers rhythmically. Closer. Closer.
There was a sudden flash of bright, white light, and Nialos staggered backwards, eyes streaming. Though he was utterly unable to focus properly on the accursed witch in his half blinded state, he still had his sword, and he started to draw it, opening his mouth to call out an alarm. Just then, there was a touch on his shoulder, a slender yet strong hand, and as he spun around his entire field of blurry vision was filled by a pair of wide eyes, glowing ruby red in the twilight.
“Be quiet and be still,” A commanding female voice told him, and he was. Disobedience was utterly, utterly out of the question. His arm lowered to his side and he placidly awaited his next command. This new woman had skin as dark as the night itself, and shining hair like silver. In the farthest corners of his befuddled mind something was screaming a warning at him, telling him that this meant something, but he couldn’t remember exactly what right now. A soft mist had settled into his brain, filling it with complete and total calm. “Good,” The dark woman told him, and he was so pleased that she approved, so very pleased. “Now come along. We have much work to do.”
-*-
Meanwhile, in a different part of Candlekeep, a young monk by the name of Averic Mentas stood proudly at attention outside a very large, and very important door. Averic didn’t know exactly what was inside, only that it was extremely important and valuable, and that he should defend it with his life. Averic, unlike some of his colleagues, was extremely keen on extra duties, seeing them as his chance to advance and make a name for himself as long as he could impress his superiors. His robe was always freshly ironed, his bald skull had been carefully polished, his prayer beads were worn from diligent recitals of the ‘Prophecy of Alaundo’ and his mind was filled with harmony. Well, it had been filled with harmony until an hour or so ago when he had been joined in his solemn duty by a monk he couldn’t remember seeing before.
“So,” Averic tried again. “What have your previous duties been, Brother…Brother…”
“Brother Koveras,” The other monk proudly stated. He was a giant of a man, tall with broad shoulders, so wide that his robes looked fit to bursting. His shaven head certainly followed all regulations, but there was something about his eyes that was outright unnerving. Now and then they actually seemed to be glowing in the dark.
Perhaps he is an Aasimar? They have glowing eyes, don’t they? It would make sense that a holy creature such as that would find his way here.
“Brother Koveras, yes, of course. Now, about your previous duties…”
“I have strode the world like a giant, bathed in the blood of my foes and defied the very pits of damnation!”
Well, that made sense, Averic thought. Some people simply couldn’t behave themselves in even the most revered of libraries, so yes, some of the librarians needed to be of the brawny sort. He himself was stern about his morning exercise and took a certain guilty pride in his nicely defined torso.
“I hear you, Brother,” He said. “This one time, a scholar actually attempted to steal one of the tomes in my charge and gave the feeble excuse of ‘wanting to copy it’ despite such things being strictly forbidden without permission. I fear that despite my best attempts to be gentle I left him with two broken arms.”
Brother Koveras stared into the distance for a moment, not responding. Averic tried to see what he was looking at, but saw nothing apart from the shadows between the tall bookshelves and some patrolling monks in the far distance. “Did you hear that?” Brother Koveras boomed.
“Hear what?”
“A noise, a sneaky, scurrying, stealthy, silent noise!”
“But if it’s silent, how could it be a noise…”
“I have EXCELLENT HEARING, lowly worm! Do not question Sa…Koveras!”
“But…”
“There could be thieves afoot, I tell you!” Koveras was grabbing Averic by the collar of his robe now, eyes blazing, practically lifting him off his feet. “And you know what thieves do, do you not, insignificant scum…I mean revered Brother.”
“Erg?”
“THEY TAKE THINGS THAT BELONG TO OTHER PEOPLE!” Koveras shouted in his face.
“Urgh! Urgh urrrrrrgh…”
“Oh,” Koveras said, suddenly letting go of the choking monk. “My deep apologies, Brother. My natural monkly zeal got the better of me. Even so, we are duty-bound to make entirely sure that nothing is amiss.”
“How…” Averic wheezed, trying to catch his breath and blink away the little floating specks of light from his field of vision.
“We must open the door behind us,” Koveras said, banging his fist against his chest for emphasis. “Only then can we be sure no wicked thief is hiding within. If they are, we shall slaughter them.”
Well, that sounded…reasonable. It was true, they had a duty to guard against all intruders. “Very well then,” Averic said. “On the count of three.” They took up their positions, each by one of the large locks situated on either side of the door. The locks needed to be unlocked at the same time, and set so far apart that two people were needed for the task, an extra safeguard against thieves. “One, two, three.” The keys turned, the locks clicked, and the door swung open. Averic took a careful look inside. “See?” He said. “No thieves at all, nothing at all amiss.”
“Of course, Brother,” Koveras said, smiling. “Everything is just as it should be.”
The door swung shut and was locked again, and Averic entirely failed to hear the soft ‘plop’ inside the treasure room.
-*-
Safely hidden behind a bookshelf and under an ‘Improved Invisibility’ spell, Edwin gleefully rubbed his hands. Despite Sarevok’s ridiculous failure at anything remotely resembling Edwin’s own subtle ways of acting a part, it had worked according to plan. The door had opened for long enough, providing him with line of sight into the room, and time enough to cast the spell. Well, it was more of a cantrip really, a childishly basic trick, but it had been modified to replicate itself for as long as the magical matrix held steady. According to Edwin’s calculations, that should provide 123 copies of the original, and that should be more than enough.
Done, He informed his familiar through their mental link. Tell them that they can start moving in.
All right, Boss! The pretty cat lady is asking how long?
Tell her approximately a quarter of an hour. Also, tell her that when this is done, I look forward to heroic celebrations of my masterful magic feat.
She says ‘Good’ and then, well…better go to imagery for the rest, Boss.
Edwin smiled blissfully as he walked away.
-*-
It was a good thing, Zaerini mused, that she knew the layout of Candlekeep as well as the back of her hand. Otherwise, she’d have had to resort to studying maps of it for hours, possibly stealing the maps first, and while she didn’t doubt that she could have pulled it off that all seemed extremely tedious. As it was, she knew exactly where to go. She and Imoen silently pointed the way for Viconia, who in turn directed the mentally dominated guardsman as easily as a sheepdog herds a sheep, if more quietly. Minsc followed behind, happy to let his Witch lead the way. They progressed up the stairs, easily reaching their first obstacle, the guardroom halfway up the tower. Their own guard wouldn’t have a patrol route going further than that, but they needed full access, all the way up, for the plan to work properly. Unfortunately, there were two guards stationed in the guardroom at all times, with a complete view of the stairs. Invisibility might sort that out, but that wouldn’t mask sounds, and while she trusted that she, Imoen and probably Viconia would be able to move silently enough, the same couldn’t be said for Minsc. So, she’d had to come up with a different plan. She nodded to Viconia as their group crouched just out of sight around the corner from the open door to the guardroom. She didn’t hear Viconia’s soft command, but she could see the charmed guard twitch as it overrode his own will. He marched into the guardroom, and if the way he walked was a little bit stiff and his eyes were a bit glazed, she didn’t think the guards would notice.
“Hey, what’s up?” She heard a voice from inside the room. “Your shift isn’t over yet, is it?”
“No,” The Dominated guard agreed. “I just had to tell you lads about this thing I saw. It was…amazing.”
“More amazing than the sight of my own bed?” A third voice chuckled. “Been a long, dull night.”
“Yes. There’s a naked she-elf dancing in the courtyard, doing some sort of crazy moon-ritual or something. You wouldn’t believe the sight!”
“Ha, you’re having us on! This is payback for the bedsheets, isn’t it?”
“It’s true. Have a look through the window, I bet you can see her from there.”
There were a couple more scoffing comments, but then her sharp ears could pick up the sounds she’d been waiting for, two pairs of heavy footsteps moving in the direction of the window, their backs conveniently to the door.
Nighty night.
The sleep spell released smoothly, and the two guards, practically hanging out of the window, never saw her coming. They crumpled to the floor, snoring already.
“You,” Viconia told the remaining guard. “You will sleep as well, a full eight hours. Sleep now.” The last guard landed on top of the other two.
“So far so good,” Imoen whispered as they closed the door to the guardroom behind them, locking it with the key they’d filched from one of their unconscious victims. “There should be a last one above us.”
“On it,” Rini said. She shifted into her catform, and slunk up the stairs, Softpaws trailing along just behind her. There he was, just coming down the stairs above her. Softpaws darted out just in front of him with a loud ‘Mrowr!’, making the man startle and curse loudly.
“Oh for…” He muttered to himself. “Just a bloody cat…” Unfortunately for him, he’d been so distracted that he’d failed to notice the second cat slipping past him, or the faint draft of wind as that cat became a woman once more.
Tag.
She didn’t really hit him very hard, she didn’t want to seriously hurt anybody here after all, but it was still enough to make him stumble and fall for real this time, straight into the arms of Minsc who was waiting below. There was a ‘Clonk’ as a large fist connected with a head.
“That should be the last one,” Zaerini said. “Vic, make sure he’ll live, won’t you?” She turned to her best friend and sister. “Immy, you ready?”
The pink-haired girl grinned, her eyes bright and sharp. “Ready to fly, sis.”
-*-
In the treasure-room, the paper-golem wasn’t curious at all about what was happening. It was programmed to attack all humanoids with no hesitation, but there were no humanoids here. Only a small, white, furry creature with red eyes and long ears, watching it curiously. There was a soft ‘plop’ and there were now two furry creatures. Then four. Then eight. Little swirls and eddies of magic floated about them as the rabbits did what rabbits do best, and multiplied, again and again. Still the golem remained oblivious. Finally, once the floor outside the warded area had become a seething mass of fluffy bunnies, the animals all turned as once, heeding some silent command. Red eyes fixed on the golem as they hopped closer, baring teeth admirably suited for gnawing.
-*-
Finally, it had all come down to this. Imoen felt simultaneously giddy with excitement and nervous enough that her heart seemed to have lodged herself in her throat. The others had all done their parts, but now it was all down to her. Well, mostly all down to her. Still, she knew she could do it. She’d come a long way since filching sweets from the kitchens or small change from visitors who looked like they could spare it. She took a deep breath, trying to center herself.
Focus, Imoen.
The room they were in wasn’t the treasure- room itself, but a storage room situated directly above it. Moderately valuable old scrolls were stored here, hence the guards, but the security was nothing like what she’d face in the room below. It was a good thing the floor was planks, and it had been easy enough to remove a couple of them, making a hole large enough for a slender girl to slip through.
“Ok Minsc,” She told the ranger. “Don’t drop me, please, big guy?”
“Minsc will hold steady, Little Imoen need not worry. Even the Hordes of Hell would not make me lax!”
“Um, good.” Imoen tested the knots a final time. It wasn’t so much a single rope as a complicated rope harness fastened around her torso and pelvis, and she thought they seemed just tight enough to hold her firmly without strangling her. Still wish I could have asked Vadrak about the Halfway Horseknot though. That’s one I never got much chance to practice with. Well, she’d just have to hope she’d learned enough. Final exam, Imoen. “Go ahead, Minsc.” The large man nodded, and carefully started lowering her down through the hole in the floor. Final exam. I won’t flunk it.
I love heist/caper movies, and I tried my best to emulate the style of it. Just as you noticed, I tried to integrate every partymember as much as possible.
