First Blood

First Blood

Anomen Delryn tightened his grip on the club and peered into the chamber in front of him. There they were, scurrying lazily around in plain sight, not even bothering to hide.

Rats.

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

His father's angry words as he'd thrust the club at Anomen still burned in the twelve-year-old's ears. His mother had stood in the doorway, looking sad and weary; even in his chamber on the other end of the house, it had been all too easy to hear every word that Cor Delryn had shouted to her about 'planting foolish ideas in the boy's mind', only minutes before. And Moira... his little sister had clung to Mother's skirts, wide-eyed and silent. She is the only one he never lashes out at, yet she always seems to fear that he will, Anomen mused grimly.

One of the rats paused for an instant, stared at him, and then continued onwards towards one of the flour sacks. The boy knew how much damage the vermin did to their food, but he also knew that his father was not too concerned about it. If he had truly cared about the loss, he would have hired an exterminator months ago, rather than merely purchasing more foodstuffs. Anomen sincerely hoped that his father took better care of the goods he kept in the mercantile storehouse, as he doubted his father's customers would be as understanding about having to extract rat droppings from their grain and flour before every meal.

Another rat stopped to look at him. It was perfectly unafraid, regarding him as a curiosity rather than a threat, and... did he merely imagine it, or was there truly a disdainful look in the creature's eyes? He was acutely reminded of how his father tended to look upon him. Yes, the rat's eyes held an echo of the exact look that his father had bestowed upon him every single day since he'd found out that Anomen had neither the talent nor the disposition for entering the family trade. Still, even I would know better than to let these creatures run rampant in our very own cellar!

The temptation was too great; for a moment, he let himself imagine the rat as an embodiment of his father. Lazy, greedy, shrewd, selfish, foul tempered... despicable!

"How dare you!" Anomen shouted as he brought the club down on the rat.

---

An hour later, Anomen entered Cor Delryn's office, holding the bloodied club in his right hand and carrying a dozen or so dead rats by their tails with his left. He gazed downwards even as he held up the proof of his work; somehow, he could not bring himself to look at his father's face.

"Did I tell you to bring them here, boy?" his father all but shouted. "Dump them on the kitchen midden, where they belong!"

"Yes, Father," Anomen murmured, and left the office, still clutching his victims' tails.

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

Now, I'm not fond of paladins myself... But parents should encourage their kids! Of course drunken bastards like these never do... this sounds like Cor alright.

And Moira... his little sister had clung to Mother's skirts, wide-eyed and silent. She is the only one he never lashes out at, yet she always seems to fear that he will, Anomen mused grimly.

Nice to see how he cares about his sister. And it's no wonder she fears her father, even though it's not his intention. Very sad...

Anomen sincerely hoped that his father took better care of the goods he kept in the mercantile storehouse, as he doubted his father's customers would be as understanding about having to extract rat droppings from their grain and flour before every meal.

He's a bright lad, even if he is a Helmite

The temptation was too great; for a moment, he let himself imagine the rat as an embodiment of his father. Lazy, greedy, shrewd, selfish, foul tempered... despicable!

"How dare you!" Anomen shouted as he brought the club down on the rat.

It helps if you do that... but probably his dad wants him either to chicken out or become a vicious killer of poor little rats.

An hour later, Anomen entered Cor Delryn's office, holding the bloodied club in his right hand and carrying a dozen or so dead rats by their tails with his left. He gazed downwards even as he held up the proof of his work; somehow, he could not bring himself to look at his father's face.

"Did I tell you to bring them here, boy?" his father all but shouted. "Dump them on the kitchen midden, where they belong!"

"Yes, Father," Anomen murmured, and left the office, still clutching his victims' tails.

Aw, he feels guilty?
Throw them in his face! *splat*

Well done, you actually made me read Ano and feel sympathy for him-- and believe me, that's difficult

That was a really nice piece, Cel. I've always been of the opinion that you have a firm grasp of Anomen's character, and this merely preves me right. Again. Good job!

His father's angry words as he'd thrust the club at Anomen still burned in the twelve-year-old's ears. His mother had stood in the doorway, looking sad and weary; even in his chamber on the other end of the house, it had been all too easy to hear every word that Cor Delryn had shouted to her about 'planting foolish ideas in the boy's mind', only minutes before. And Moira... his little sister had clung to Mother's skirts, wide-eyed and silent. She is the only one he never lashes out at, yet she always seems to fear that he will, Anomen mused grimly.

Now this bit caught my eye. Is that a bit of sibling jealousy, or am I just looking in to things too much? He sounds ... not quite resentful, but he sounds bitter about Moira being the only one who never gets mistreated. I find it very interesting. Especially because it's an angle I've never considered before. Hm...

An hour later, Anomen entered Cor Delryn's office, holding the bloodied club in his right hand and carrying a dozen or so dead rats by their tails with his left. He gazed downwards even as he held up the proof of his work; somehow, he could not bring himself to look at his father's face.

"Did I tell you to bring them here, boy?" his father all but shouted. "Dump them on the kitchen midden, where they belong!"

"Yes, Father," Anomen murmured, and left the office, still clutching his victims' tails.

I adored this. Anomen is just so cute. I think my female PC is wishing he was as mild-mannered to her as he is to Cor here! And I thought it was interesting how obedient he is. I think older Anomen in this situation would have at first tried to obey his orders but then eventually snapped.

Yeah, so great job. Keep up the good work! You've got me thinking about Anomen's character now, and I'll be stuck for hours. Love him or hate him, he's definitely one of the most developed NPCs.

First Blood

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

Cor's such an easy targert. It's almost like shooting shooting fish in a barrel.

One of the rats paused for an instant, stared at him, and then continued onwards towards one of the flour sacks. The boy knew how much damage the vermin did to their food, but he also knew that his father was not too concerned about it. If he had truly cared about the loss, he would have hired an exterminator months ago, rather than merely purchasing more foodstuffs. Anomen sincerely hoped that his father took better care of the goods he kept in the mercantile storehouse, as he doubted his father's customers would be as understanding about having to extract rat droppings from their grain and flour before every meal.

Okay, I'll admit that you sort of lose me with the logic of the story here. Cor always struck me as the sort of guy who wouldn't tolerate rats anywhere, particularly when they interferred with his personal comfort, as I imagine these ones would.

The temptation was too great; for a moment, he let himself imagine the rat as an embodiment of his father. Lazy, greedy, shrewd, selfish, foul tempered... despicable!

"How dare you!" Anomen shouted as he brought the club down on the rat.

Ah, killing one's father by proxy, a long and honorable tradition.

An hour later, Anomen entered Cor Delryn's office, holding the bloodied club in his right hand and carrying a dozen or so dead rats by their tails with his left. He gazed downwards even as he held up the proof of his work; somehow, he could not bring himself to look at his father's face.

Poor Anomen. Sometimes even the nicest people get saddled with the crappiest fathers. Life's unfair in that he don't get to choose our parents.

"Did I tell you to bring them here, boy?" his father all but shouted. "Dump them on the kitchen midden, where they belong!"

Admittedly, I'm almost (almost) on Cor's side here. It does seem a little... weird to take a bunch of dead rats up to Cor's office to show him, and I certainly wouldn't want anything to do with the nasty things. Then again, Anomen could have dumped the in the kitchen midden and Cor would have yelled at him for not bringing them up to his office to show him, so it's sort of a lose-lose situation, and at least this way we get some final drama.

Good story, and thanks for being the first victim er... participant

-Blue

Anomen playing Whack-A-Rat?

Uh, sorry about that. Anyway, this worked pretty well for me, overall. All Cor manages to achieve is to make Anomen more determined in trying to realize his dreams.

[quote name="CrazeeFfan"]
Now this bit caught my eye. Is that a bit of sibling jealousy, or am I just looking in to things too much? He sounds ... not quite resentful, but he sounds bitter about Moira being the only one who never gets mistreated. I find it very interesting. Especially because it's an angle I've never considered before. Hm...[quote]
Now that you mention it-- could it be both, caring about his little sister and envying her protected position? I bloody well remember I did both. Curse of being the elder sibling!

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

Now, I'm not fond of paladins myself... But parents should encourage their kids! Of course drunken bastards like these never do... this sounds like Cor alright.

Cor's voice was almost frighteningly easy to write.

And Moira... his little sister had clung to Mother's skirts, wide-eyed and silent. She is the only one he never lashes out at, yet she always seems to fear that he will, Anomen mused grimly.

Nice to see how he cares about his sister. And it's no wonder she fears her father, even though it's not his intention. Very sad...

I always see her as the apple of Cor's eye, even if he hurts her too with his actions.

Anomen sincerely hoped that his father took better care of the goods he kept in the mercantile storehouse, as he doubted his father's customers would be as understanding about having to extract rat droppings from their grain and flour before every meal.

He's a bright lad, even if he is a Helmite

The temptation was too great; for a moment, he let himself imagine the rat as an embodiment of his father. Lazy, greedy, shrewd, selfish, foul tempered... despicable!

"How dare you!" Anomen shouted as he brought the club down on the rat.

It helps if you do that... but probably his dad wants him either to chicken out or become a vicious killer of poor little rats.

I think it's mostly the former, with a dash of some humiliation.

"Yes, Father," Anomen murmured, and left the office, still clutching his victims' tails.

Aw, he feels guilty?
Throw them in his face! *splat*

Tempting...

Well done, you actually made me read Ano and feel sympathy for him-- and believe me, that's difficult

My work here is done

That was a really nice piece, Cel. I've always been of the opinion that you have a firm grasp of Anomen's character, and this merely preves me right. Again. Good job!

Thanks!

His father's angry words as he'd thrust the club at Anomen still burned in the twelve-year-old's ears. His mother had stood in the doorway, looking sad and weary; even in his chamber on the other end of the house, it had been all too easy to hear every word that Cor Delryn had shouted to her about 'planting foolish ideas in the boy's mind', only minutes before. And Moira... his little sister had clung to Mother's skirts, wide-eyed and silent. She is the only one he never lashes out at, yet she always seems to fear that he will, Anomen mused grimly.

Now this bit caught my eye. Is that a bit of sibling jealousy, or am I just looking in to things too much? He sounds ... not quite resentful, but he sounds bitter about Moira being the only one who never gets mistreated. I find it very interesting. Especially because it's an angle I've never considered before. Hm...

I think you're looking into it a bit too much. He is bitter because even though she isn't directly mistreated, she suffers as much as he and his mother do because she witnesses it all, and he loves his baby sister (I imagine her to be about 5 years old here).

"Yes, Father," Anomen murmured, and left the office, still clutching his victims' tails.

I adored this. Anomen is just so cute. I think my female PC is wishing he was as mild-mannered to her as he is to Cor here! And I thought it was interesting how obedient he is. I think older Anomen in this situation would have at first tried to obey his orders but then eventually snapped.

This was inspired by his behaviour the first time the group meets Cor. It takes nothing for him to revert to 'Yes, Father' and apologizing...

Yeah, so great job. Keep up the good work! You've got me thinking about Anomen's character now, and I'll be stuck for hours. Love him or hate him, he's definitely one of the most developed NPCs.

Glad you enjoyed it!

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

Cor's such an easy targert. It's almost like shooting shooting fish in a barrel.

Finding his voice was almost frighteningly easy.

One of the rats paused for an instant, stared at him, and then continued onwards towards one of the flour sacks. The boy knew how much damage the vermin did to their food, but he also knew that his father was not too concerned about it. If he had truly cared about the loss, he would have hired an exterminator months ago, rather than merely purchasing more foodstuffs. Anomen sincerely hoped that his father took better care of the goods he kept in the mercantile storehouse, as he doubted his father's customers would be as understanding about having to extract rat droppings from their grain and flour before every meal.

Okay, I'll admit that you sort of lose me with the logic of the story here. Cor always struck me as the sort of guy who wouldn't tolerate rats anywhere, particularly when they interferred with his personal comfort, as I imagine these ones would.

Yeah, I thought a bit about that, but I decided to go with it (having had the idea, and all). I imagine this as a time when Cor is starting to slip. He doesn't have to sift the grain himself, and he gets the best of the food, so it hasn't really sunk in that the rats in the cellar have reached Bad Levels, and he hasn't cared to investigate.

I always imagine the Delryn house at the time of Moira's death as pretty much a pigsty. With nobody to keep it under control for him, Cor lets it all go wild.

The temptation was too great; for a moment, he let himself imagine the rat as an embodiment of his father. Lazy, greedy, shrewd, selfish, foul tempered... despicable!

"How dare you!" Anomen shouted as he brought the club down on the rat.

Ah, killing one's father by proxy, a long and honorable tradition.

Indeed

My first notion was to have Anomen go into battle and imagining his father in the first person he had to kill, thus gaining the will to actually do it. It evolved into this.

An hour later, Anomen entered Cor Delryn's office, holding the bloodied club in his right hand and carrying a dozen or so dead rats by their tails with his left. He gazed downwards even as he held up the proof of his work; somehow, he could not bring himself to look at his father's face.

Poor Anomen. Sometimes even the nicest people get saddled with the crappiest fathers. Life's unfair in that he don't get to choose our parents.

Oh, absolutely. (He also can't bear to look at him because he's just imagined killing him a dozen times...)

"Did I tell you to bring them here, boy?" his father all but shouted. "Dump them on the kitchen midden, where they belong!"

Admittedly, I'm almost (almost) on Cor's side here. It does seem a little... weird to take a bunch of dead rats up to Cor's office to show him, and I certainly wouldn't want anything to do with the nasty things. Then again, Anomen could have dumped the in the kitchen midden and Cor would have yelled at him for not bringing them up to his office to show him, so it's sort of a lose-lose situation, and at least this way we get some final drama.

That effect is intended. As I said, Cor is starting to slip, but he's not a complete waste of space. He sent Anomen to kill rats because he was angry about the paladin notions, but now he's all but forgotten about that, and is angry because his son is dragging dead rats into his office. If Anomen had just gotten rid of the creatures after killing them, his father never would have cared either way.

Good story, and thanks for being the first victim er... participant

You're welcome

Now this bit caught my eye. Is that a bit of sibling jealousy, or am I just looking in to things too much? He sounds ... not quite resentful, but he sounds bitter about Moira being the only one who never gets mistreated. I find it very interesting. Especially because it's an angle I've never considered before. Hm...

Now that you mention it-- could it be both, caring about his little sister and envying her protected position? I bloody well remember I did both. Curse of being the elder sibling!

As I said further up, he loves his baby sister, and he's upset that even she can't really escape how horrible their father is. He does not think of her as protected, even if she'll never get hit

"So, you want to be a paladin? You want to prance around on feathered horses like those sanctimonious gits? An honest day's work is too good for you? Here! You can start your grand and noble career by conquering the rats in the cellar, knightling!"

Cor's such an easy targert. It's almost like shooting shooting fish in a barrel.

Finding his voice was almost frighteningly easy.

What a terrifying thing to discover: somewhere inside you there's a tiny little Cor Delryn waiting to be expressed.

Yuck.

Okay, I'll admit that you sort of lose me with the logic of the story here. Cor always struck me as the sort of guy who wouldn't tolerate rats anywhere, particularly when they interferred with his personal comfort, as I imagine these ones would.

Yeah, I thought a bit about that, but I decided to go with it (having had the idea, and all). I imagine this as a time when Cor is starting to slip. He doesn't have to sift the grain himself, and he gets the best of the food, so it hasn't really sunk in that the rats in the cellar have reached Bad Levels, and he hasn't cared to investigate.

I always imagine the Delryn house at the time of Moira's death as pretty much a pigsty. With nobody to keep it under control for him, Cor lets it all go wild.

Slip as in go nuts, or slip as in become a worse alcoholic? Is your Cor Delryn mentally ill, and that's why he became a drunk (lots of bi-polar and schizophrenic individuals self-medicate with drugs and alcohol) or is he mentally ill because he's a drunk? An interesting question, I think, because if Cor is mentally ill and always has been, it would sort of mitigate his behavior, at least to an extent. It might also be another reason why Anomen's so messed up, since mental illness, particularly schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder and depression, as heritable and have strong genetic factor in their expression.

-Blue's mother is a child psychiatrist-

Ah, killing one's father by proxy, a long and honorable tradition.

Indeed

My first notion was to have Anomen go into battle and imagining his father in the first person he had to kill, thus gaining the will to actually do it. It evolved into this.

Both of them very good ideas, I think.

Anomen playing Whack-A-Rat?

Uh, sorry about that. Anyway, this worked pretty well for me, overall. All Cor manages to achieve is to make Anomen more determined in trying to realize his dreams.

This is also Anomen's first real spark of that infamous 'Oh I am so filled with dark anger and hatred etc.'

Great job

Sometimes short simple stories are the very best for illustrating back story and giving stark insight into the personality of these characters

And I was hoping that Anomen would have tossed the dead rats on daddy’s desk…but that is just me

Finding his voice was almost frighteningly easy.

What a terrifying thing to discover: somewhere inside you there's a tiny little Cor Delryn waiting to be expressed.

Yuck.

Well, I can find Edwin's voice quite easily, too

I always imagine the Delryn house at the time of Moira's death as pretty much a pigsty. With nobody to keep it under control for him, Cor lets it all go wild.

Slip as in go nuts, or slip as in become a worse alcoholic? Is your Cor Delryn mentally ill, and that's why he became a drunk (lots of bi-polar and schizophrenic individuals self-medicate with drugs and alcohol) or is he mentally ill because he's a drunk? An interesting question, I think, because if Cor is mentally ill and always has been, it would sort of mitigate his behavior, at least to an extent. It might also be another reason why Anomen's so messed up, since mental illness, particularly schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder and depression, as heritable and have strong genetic factor in their expression.

I think most of Cor's illness comes from the drink, with seeds of problems that he aggravated with his habits.

I'm not well versed in psychology, but I once knew a father/son pair where the father was an alcoholic. At times, their interactions were very much like Cor and Anomen (not quite as bad, though).

Great job

Thanks

Sometimes short simple stories are the very best for illustrating back story and giving stark insight into the personality of these characters

That's pretty much exactly what I use them for. In serials, you have to worry about moving the plot forward and all that, so it's not as easy to fit that stuff in in a good way.

And I was hoping that Anomen would have tossed the dead rats on daddy’s desk…but that is just me

I think Anomen would be a very different person if he'd been that kind of guy. He might have found it in him to actively stand up to his father sooner than he did, but I don't think it would have made him a better or happier person.

Well, I can find Edwin's voice quite easily, too

Double yuck.

I've never been able to understand why people like that guy. He can be amusing, in that evil wizard that has too much ambition and ego to be even remotely healthy sort of way, but I don't know, the evil part always stuck in my craw. It's not an alignment component that's earned just by being a jerk, after all. One has to really be a seriously bad dude to get it, and that always made me a little unsympathetic to him (and the rest of the evil NPCs too, no matter how entertaining they could be at various times.)

Slip as in go nuts, or slip as in become a worse alcoholic? Is your Cor Delryn mentally ill, and that's why he became a drunk (lots of bi-polar and schizophrenic individuals self-medicate with drugs and alcohol) or is he mentally ill because he's a drunk? An interesting question, I think, because if Cor is mentally ill and always has been, it would sort of mitigate his behavior, at least to an extent. It might also be another reason why Anomen's so messed up, since mental illness, particularly schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder and depression, as heritable and have strong genetic factor in their expression.

I think most of Cor's illness comes from the drink, with seeds of problems that he aggravated with his habits.

I'm not well versed in psychology, but I once knew a father/son pair where the father was an alcoholic. At times, their interactions were very much like Cor and Anomen (not quite as bad, though).

I think Anomen and Cor relate in a way that's almost overblown, rather than a starkly realistic picture. Both of them a deeply archetypal, and I think that always made me shy away from depicting their relationship too much in my stories. There's no room to go anywhere with it, really. They've reached the very edges of their trope, and pushing them any further would thrust them off the border deep into the realm of caricature.

I know there are people out there that are very much like Cor, and who treat their children very much like Cor treats Anomen, but it's really almost too much. That's part of the reason why I like the idea of Cor being mentally ill, or at least more mentally ill than just the problems that are associated with alcoholism. It adds a new dimension to explore in his character, and in Anomen's character too.

-Blue

Well, I can find Edwin's voice quite easily, too

Double yuck.

I've never been able to understand why people like that guy. He can be amusing, in that evil wizard that has too much ambition and ego to be even remotely healthy sort of way, but I don't know, the evil part always stuck in my craw. It's not an alignment component that's earned just by being a jerk, after all. One has to really be a seriously bad dude to get it, and that always made me a little unsympathetic to him (and the rest of the evil NPCs too, no matter how entertaining they could be at various times.)

I do have to admit a writing mine more as Lawful Selfish than Lawful Evil. (As Lawful Evil, my party would never tolerate his presence, and I find my party more interesting with a sarcastic jerk in it as opposed to just nice people.)

I think most of Cor's illness comes from the drink, with seeds of problems that he aggravated with his habits.

I'm not well versed in psychology, but I once knew a father/son pair where the father was an alcoholic. At times, their interactions were very much like Cor and Anomen (not quite as bad, though).

I think Anomen and Cor relate in a way that's almost overblown, rather than a starkly realistic picture. Both of them a deeply archetypal, and I think that always made me shy away from depicting their relationship too much in my stories. There's no room to go anywhere with it, really. They've reached the very edges of their trope, and pushing them any further would thrust them off the border deep into the realm of caricature.

Overblown, yes, but based on experience I find it starkly realistic at the same time.

I know there are people out there that are very much like Cor, and who treat their children very much like Cor treats Anomen, but it's really almost too much. That's part of the reason why I like the idea of Cor being mentally ill, or at least more mentally ill than just the problems that are associated with alcoholism. It adds a new dimension to explore in his character, and in Anomen's character too.

Oh, I do think he had seeds of mental illness in him, absolutely. (Then again, a lot of us probably do.)