1. Yep. More Quarantine. Getting close to a major change in how this story is going to be written. I don't really want to say more at this point, but there's a major turning point coming up fairly soon. Just gotta keep pushing forward.
2. More Colleen being... well... whiny. She's not the most confident person, normally, and it becomes even worse when she worries about other people having to rely on her. She'll stop griping, eventually. Of course, given the current situation, it'll be because she's too busy trying not to get eaten, but hey... running from zombies is more interesting than emotional development, right? Right!
3. Mmmm... Mary Jane Watson...
...
You'll see what I'm talking about near the end of the chapter.
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Quarantine Day Twenty-three
November 29, 2005
The rain let up the next day… and for the first time in a while, we had clear skies. It was the perfect time for Jefferson and I to pack up our things and move on… before another series of squalls moved in. And of course, I didn’t feel like leaving.
Jeff had tossed his pack over his shoulder and was looking at me, curious as to why I wasn’t doing the same. I heard him let out a small sigh. He’d figured out pretty quick what the hold-up was. “I thought we already discussed this, Colleen.”
Sure we did. If you call saying ‘We should go’ and me saying ‘I disagree,’ and then the two of us not talking at all after that, could be called a ‘discussion.’
“We did, Jeff…” I ran my fingers through my hair. “But… I just… I’ve thought about it, and I don’t want to be a burden, ok? I… I don’t want to be the reason we both get killed.”
“Coll, you won’t be.” He walked over towards me, looking like he wanted to pull me in for a hug… but I wasn’t having any of it. I pushed him away… gently, but I didn’t want him any closer than arm’s length at the time.
The problem was… I… I -knew- that going with him would be a bad idea. I knew that it would make things worse for the both of us… not better. Or… at least… I thought that’s what I knew. And I was afraid… I was afraid he would somehow manage to convince me otherwise. “Look… I… appreciate that you’re trying to spare my feelings by lying to me and everything, but it’s pretty obvious, even to someone with mush for brains, that with my skills… or lack thereof, as the case may be, going out there is a bad idea. I’d be a walking zombie snack. A target. You might as well hang a billboard around your neck. You know, ‘Human hamburgers! Free buffet!’ I don’t… I don’t want that.”
He shook his head, then put his hands on my shoulders and leaned in to look me in the eye. “Listen to me, Colleen. We both know that you almost never act like it, but you’re a smart girl. You really are. You’re worried that you can’t fight? You’ll learn. And you’ll learn fast. Because that’s what you do. That’s how your brain works. Just because you’re inexperienced now doesn’t mean you can’t change. All you have to do is decide that you want to give it a shot, and put a little effort into it.”
“And who’s going to teach me, Jeff? You? I… I know you’d try… I know you -want- to try… but I just don’t want you stuck babysitting me. You’ve got better things to do.”
“You’re my friend, Colleen. There aren’t many things higher on my list of priorities.”
“Jeff…” I said, still trying to protest. I could feel my resolve failing. This was exactly what I had been worrying about. He was just so earnest, so convinced that he could help me… and he didn’t seem to realize that he was probably just digging his own grave. And then there was me, being selfish, trying to cling to him even though I just knew I’d slow him down. I felt a pang of guilt hit me. I was letting him “convince” me that I wasn’t going to be a useless pain in the ass, and I was feeling horrible as a result.
“Colleen…”
“I just… I don’t…”
He took my hands in his. “Stop. Just stop talking, ok?”
I nodded silently. I didn’t know what else to do. This was a bad idea. I could feel it in my gut… and I didn’t want to see him hurt because of me, but I… I couldn’t seem to make myself stop him. And he was too stubborn or too stupid to listen, and…
If something happened to him… because of me… I’d never be able to forgive myself.
“Coll. When you came to Kempsterbank looking for Clara, what did you plan to do?”
“Well… I… I mean, that is…”
What kind of a question is that?
…
Apparently, it’s one I don’t have a good answer to.
He was right. (As usual.) I hadn’t had much of a plan. That much was painfully obvious when I’d shown up practically on his doorstep with just the clothes on my back and a plucky attitude. All I’d known when I’d set out was that my older sister was somewhere down to the south, and that, without me to help her, she might have been in real trouble. All other concerns had, unfortunately, slipped my mind. What confused me, though, was why Jeff was choosing now to bring that up.
As it turned out, my extensive pondering was unnecessary. He looked me straight in the eye and asked me a question that had been plaguing me for quite some time.
“If you’re as useless in a fight as you’re saying you are, do you really think you could have protected her?”
He had me. And we both knew it.
“Well…” I said, half-heartedly, shrugging as the word left my mouth.
He shook his head. He wanted a straight answer and he was going to make me give him one. “Honestly, Colleen.”
There wasn’t any real point in trying to lie to him, so I didn’t even bother. The words came out around a weary sigh. “I… I guess not…”
“But you wanted to be there with her, didn’t you?” The question was more rhetorical than anything else. He was just rubbing my nose in it, now – trying to drive the point home and hoping I’d actually listen to what he was saying. “You wanted to at least be close by… so that if anything bad happened, at least you could -try- and stop it, right?”
“I… yeah… I… I suppose.”
“So maybe you wouldn’t have been able to help all that much, but then again, maybe just by being there you -could- have helped… could have done something… and better to take the chance and possibly accomplish something than not to try at all. Right?”
I shrugged.
Curse you and your infernal logic, Jefferson Gray. Can’t even let a girl get all moody and cynical, can you? Oh, no, you just have to keep pestering me.
“Besides, Colleen. At the very least, having you around means I won’t have to spend every free moment wondering if the mall’s holding up ok… wondering if you’re still safe inside. And besides, I could use someone to watch my back. Even if you can’t shoot straight, you’ve still got an extra pair of eyes that I don’t have. I can’t cover every angle all the time. I need help. I need your help.”
Game. Set. Match.
That’s it, Jeff. Appeal to her sense of loyalty. Play the ‘Friend in Need’ card. There’s no truer way to her heart. Unless you’re Scarlett Johansson, completely nude aside from a light covering of molten milk chocolate.
Mmmm.
…
Huh? What? Oh. Sorry. Guess I got a little carried away, there.
“Jeff, I don’t... I don’t think I have what it takes to be a hero,” I said to him with a wry smirk that showed a sense of amusement I didn’t really feel.
“That’s not what I’m asking. I’m just asking you to watch my back, and I’ll watch yours. Besides, I’m hardly the action hero type, either, you know.”
“I know…” I replied with a small, smug grin. “You don’t exactly have the dark skin, or the long, blonde hair that flows like a river of sexy wheat…”
He snorted. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” I chuckled, and then brought a hand up to my face, doing that thing where you stroke your chin and it’s supposed to mean you’re thinking about something. “Though now that I think about it, you’d make a decent Spider-Man.”
“Oh, really?” he asked. One of his eyebrows had gone up higher than the other to indicate that he’d been gripped by an instance of mild confusion. “How do you figure that?”
“Easy,” I said with a shrug, “You’re totally a dead wringer for the guy. I mean, you’re like the quintessential ‘everyman.’ Only without… you know… the tragic loss of a father figure at a pretty young age. Oh, and the Green Goblin didn’t kill your first girlfriend by shoving her off a bridge.”
He did a pretty admirable job of keeping a straight face, but I knew what to look for. I could see the faint smile lines forming around his mouth. “I don’t recall either of those ever happening, no,” he said, somehow managing a convincing deadpan. “So… Spider-Man, huh? Really?”
“Totally. You are so the everyday, average, ordinary guy… who just happens to have superpowers, uses them to fight evil, and has to maintain a secret identity so the people he cares about don’t become targets for his rogues gallery.”
“Like what happened with Gwen Stacy,” he replied. He was trying to keep his voice all matter-of-fact, but I could sense the impassive veneer was finally starting to crack.
“Exactly,” I said with a wink. It was rare I got to revel in such displays of sheer, nauseating nerd-dom, and I was milking the opportunity for all it was worth. Folks, don’t let this luscious bod, dazzling smile and killer hair fool you. Underneath it all beats the heart of… well… a geek. A dead sexy geek, to be sure, but still a geek.
“The only thing you’re missing is the radioactive spider,” I said to him.
For a few moments, he didn’t say anything, but there was something about the way he was standing, and the way he was tapping his finger against his chin that made me wonder if he was seriously considering the notion. Eventually, he broke into a soft chuckle and nodded, as if he were confirming something in his own mind. “So… wouldn’t that mean Clara would be Mary Jane Watson?”
I blinked at him and stared blankly, momentarily surprised that he’d even asked such a question – that he’d even seen a need to ask it. “Is that a problem?”
“Good point,” he said, chuckling. “It’s not.”
