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Valen, part one


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#1 Arcalian

Posted 24 December 2006 - 02:16 AM

Valen was a thug.

Plain and simple, no regrets, no remorse. A fighter who enjoyed hurting people. A sellsword who specialized in inflicting pain.

She was not a Bhaalspawn nor any other special kind of person. Not even an adventurerer, in the classic sense of the word.

But destiny has a way of tapping the unremarkable on the shoulder, dragging them off to a cruicible of pain and suffering, and chaning them into something astonishing, for good or ill.

----

"What's his name?" Valen asked.

Rose wrinkled her nose. "Danther. He used to booze it up in Five Flagons, but I hear that he's been kicked out of there lately. Been spending more time down the Docks. When he's not up here, that is."

"Probably finds the girls on the docks easier to harass," Valen said with no sympathy. She held out a hand. "Money."

Rose pouted. "Valen, I've barely got enough to last me through the week as it is!"

"So turn a few more tricks with guys you know won't beat you up, then. Do you want me to make him suffer for what he did to you, or not?"

Rose touched her bruised cheek, and felt the other bruises on her body. "Yeah, I do."

"Then give me the money. I have to make it through the week, too."

Rose sighed and handed it over.

Valen gave a little smile, a curt salute, and sauntered out of the Bridge District.

----

Danther was, indeed, boozing it up in a new watering hole, the Sea's Bounty in the Docks.

Valen had skirted the Shadow Thieves guildhall--she'd worked for them before as an enforce but wasn't considered to be one of the "family", and so kept her distance unless they wanted to hire her aid--and marched on down to the inn.

Sure enough, a man matching Danther's description was sitting at the bar, swilling back some watered-down ale.

"You Danther?" she asked without premable.

Danther turned and saw a woman in chain mail. Her black hair was shoulder length, and her face might have been beautiful, if it weren't so hard and worn. Predatory green eyes stared out of her face.

"Yeah, I'm Danther," he confirmed. "What's it to ya?"

"Come outside with me for a minute. I have a proposition for you."

Danther raised a brow, paid the bartender and followed her out.

She led him into an alley. He went, amused. "You don't seem like a whore, girly."

"Oh, I make money any way I can," Valen shrugged. "C'mere."

He moved closer, smirking. The smirk turned into a scream of pain as twin daggers slammed into his knees.

The blades withdrew and he collapsed to the dusty ground, howling and weeping.

"Shut up," Valen said, and kicked him in the head. He yelped and blinked at her.

"I haven't sold my body in years. But the whores up in the Bridge District, they don't much like the way you treat them. From now on you leave them alone, do you hear?"

"Yeah," Danther said without much enthusiasm.

Valen was abruptly in his face, and the setting sun turned it a sinister orange cast. "You'd better hear. If you touch them again, I'll kill you, slowly."

"I hear, I hear!" Danther was frantic now.

"Good." She kicked him in the groin, and left him to moan and cough painfully in the alley. He'd probably survive to drag himself to a healer; she didn't really care.

She'd earned her pay for the day.

She considered entering Sea's Bounty for a drink of her own, but decided against it. She headed out of the Docks, towards the Slums, where she planned to have her drink (or four or five) and then buy a bed for the night.

But she was still en route when she was interrupted.

The first stars had come out, and she was walking down unremarkable streets, when a voice greeted her out of the shadows. "Greetings, Valen. My Mistress has noted your abilities, and is most pleased."

"Oh, really." Valen drew her daggers and croushed defensively. "I hope your 'Mistress' pays well, because I don't do my work for free.

A pale-skinned woman in swirling robes stepped out of the darkness. She smiled, showing fangs.

Valen didn't know what a vampire was, but she knew she was facing a powerful monster. For the first time in more than four years, she was truly scared.

"Oh I think you'll find that serving my Mistress is a very rewarding experience, indeed," the vampiress smirked, locking eyes wth Valen, dominating her will.

Valen found her daggers lowering involuntarily. "Who are you?" Valen breathed, trying to keep the fear out of her voice, able to see nothing now but the vampire's eyes.

"Call me Meredath," the vampire said. "Now come, and meet my Mistress."

Valen had no choice but to follow Meredath into the darkness.
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#2 Guest_Dadri_*

Posted 24 December 2006 - 05:38 AM

So you did decide to write about her. :D

I rather liked the intro, and then you did a good job showing us she was a thug by her interaction with Rose. I am glad we got to see her before... :)

#3 Laufey

Posted 24 December 2006 - 09:49 AM

"Probably finds the girls on the docks easier to harass," Valen said with no sympathy. She held out a hand. "Money."


Rose pouted. "Valen, I've barely got enough to last me through the week as it is!"


"So turn a few more tricks with guys you know won't beat you up, then. Do you want me to make him suffer for what he did to you, or not?"


I really liked your introduction of Valen, in just a few short paragraphs you give the reader a vivid impression of her.


Valen was abruptly in his face, and the setting sun turned it a sinister orange cast. "You'd better hear. If you touch them again, I'll kill you, slowly."


"I hear, I hear!" Danther was frantic now.


He'd better.


Valen found her daggers lowering involuntarily. "Who are you?" Valen breathed, trying to keep the fear out of her voice, able to see nothing now but the vampire's eyes.


"Call me Meredath," the vampire said. "Now come, and meet my Mistress."


Valen had no choice but to follow Meredath into the darkness.


And it seems that Valen is very much in over her head...
Rogues do it from behind.

#4 Guest_Kelarin_*

Posted 24 December 2006 - 01:59 PM

Oh. I like this I'll have to be watching this one closely.

And I think you've inspired me to try something similar, once I get some time.

#5 Guest_Ananke_*

Posted 24 December 2006 - 07:37 PM

Oh. The introduction is just great, as Dadri already commented.

And then... Quick, dirty and to the point. Like Valen, if I read her well. :D

Are you game for correcting grammar/vocabulary? Because you've made some errors, but I hate pointing these out if the person doesn't like it?

#6 Guest_Futurist_*

Posted 25 December 2006 - 10:31 AM

As has already been said the introduction is very good. It is nice to see something about an overlooked char.

#7 Arcalian

Posted 27 December 2006 - 03:14 AM

I rather liked the intro, and then you did a good job showing us she was a thug by her interaction with Rose. I am glad we got to see her before... :)


The Valen/Rose dialogue is based on an actual bit of dialogue between them in the mod, the tone of which is friendlier than what I've written here. But that, of course, was before Rose benefitted from Valen's handiwork.

The mod is here:

http://www.weidu.org/valen.html
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#8 Arcalian

Posted 27 December 2006 - 03:16 AM

I don't mind you correcting my grammar; I just can't promise that there will be any, uh, results of you doing it. :)
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.




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