To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned moms
Yes, as you say Thay is *very* well equipped when it comes to magic supplies, which is a great benefit. And unfortunately, just as you mentioned, there are those wizards who take the pursuit of spell components *far* too seriously. In my opinion, both those wizards you mentioned deserved their fates, being as foolhardy as they were. It should only be expected that you would defend your daughter, and as for that Matron Mother, only a true idiot would do a thing like that.
In fact, that reminds me of a tale I heard about two inebriated young wizards who conjured up a pair of flying pigs and went for a drunken joyride. However, they had forgotten about the fact that the spell would eventually run out, and when the pigs puffed out of existence, so did the wizards - or at least they did once they hit the ground. Thus was born the Thayvian proverb: 'Pigs may fly, but apprentices don't.'
Hobbies...*shudder*. I'm afraid the word carries bad associations with it. You see, my...*sneer*...husband (not my lover that is) is very keen on hobbies. He is also an idiot. You wouldn't believe the disasters his hobbies have brought to this household. I do like art though, and have quite an extensive collection of Kara-Turan porcelain. Or I had, until my son's most recent visit.
Speaking of which, my baby has *finally* agreed to let me meet his girlfriend, and we will have tea tomorrow. This should get interesting.
Yours,
Thayvian Matriarch
P.S. Thanks for the tip about the discount! I'll pass it on to my lover.
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From: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject: Concerned moms
Ah, a husband AND a lover, is it? My dear Lady, you could have fit in nicely in Drow society. Hmmm, I seem to recall Matron Tegrinqi Everhate having a harem of over a hundred different males and females of all different races, so you'd still be a lightweight in our cities.
Call me perceptive, but after your description, I very much doubt your husband is the father of your child... Hmm, speaking of art collections, my eldest daughter, the sweet thing, has been trying to make up for the many pieces she had broken during her childhood, but sending me all kinds of valuable objects from all over world during her travels. I have beads from the Moonshae's, baskets from Chult, Cormyrian silverware, Rashami pottery, ancient Sembian statues, Calishite carpets and fossils from Icewind Dale, are among the few of many examples I can give you.
Oh, and you HAVE to let me know what has happened during the meeting? I hope you didn't incinerate the girl. Was she what you expected her to be?
---Dark Elven Mother, who is still snickering over the origins of a famous Thayvian proverb.
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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned moms
A harem of hundreds?
Interesting idea, but there are only so many days in the week after all, and I feel no need for more lovers than my Love. Also, the situation as it stands isn't due to a plan on my part, more of an adaptation to current circumstances.As for my baby - I think that a woman should always take care to make conscious decisions and plan for the future as much as possible. I'm sure you agree.
Your daughter sounds like a very thoughtful and considerate girl, and you must be very proud of her. Alas, my son means well, but can be a bit forgetful and oblivious about such matters. While I always enjoy nice spell scrolls and spell components for presents, the ten jars of Troll Blood he gave me last Mother's Day weren't exactly what I'd been hoping for.
Oh yes, and the Meeting.
It was interesting, to say the least. The girl is a bit uppity, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Far better that she has a spine than that she be some sniveling little pampered weakling. She also seems to be suitably bright, and has at least *some* magical talent.Most importantly, it does seem that she truly cares for my baby. She threatened to leave nothing more than a wet spot of me if I tried to come between them, and I could see that she was watching him with true adoration. Of course, I couldn't let her speak to me in that fashion, and made certain to inform her that further disrespect would turn her into a smoking cinder.
I'm afraid we frightened my poor baby badly, he looked as if he seriously expected us to get into a fight to the death. Men! It was a simple and harmless measuring of strength, that was all. Anyway, the tea party went smoothly after that. Well, expect for my son being so shaken that he accidentally smashed two of my priceless teacups. *sigh* But it is good to know that she will take properly care of him. They really do seem to love each other.
Hm, I think I shall look into some fertility spells for them in preparation for the day they finally decide to formalize their union. I'm sure they will appreciate somebody taking charge and making sure that part works out properly.
Happily,
Thayvian Matriarch
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From: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject: Concerned moms
Speaking of strange Mother's Day gifts, my eldest gave me an (admittedly) beautiful Black Guard sword which belonged to the Death Knight she had destroyed fairly recently, and it now adorns the mantle in my sitting room. Now, we have several (sensible) paladin acquaintances who stop by every so often to chat... and, needless to say, their eyes often drift to the sword behind me. And *sigh* I get so tired of having to explain why there's a Black Guard sword hanging there. What am I? A Jansen?
Well, I'm happy that your meeting went well, though I would not know if I would be so lenient if she had threatened me. But it does seem that she truly cares for your son. I'd say she's a keeper.
I've got a bomb to drop myself. Remember that Necromancer/actress that my son was seeing? Well, it's official... they're getting married. And I felt... very light-headed when I heard the news. My eldest kept calling from the servants because she thought I was going to faint... and thought I was going to faint too, honestly. *sigh* I just hope they set their date after my forth child is born, I can't really use any additional stress right now...
Fertility-spells, you say? Hmm, isn't it a little early for that? No offense, but I am horrified with the thought of becoming a grandmother. Imagine that, being a grandmother in my early two-hundreds... That's not even common for a Drow!
Truthfully yours,
---Dark Elven Mother
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From: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
To: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
Subject: Concerned Moms
Oh yes...Black Guards...I've never seen one in real life, though I've seen a few pictures. They seem to be very fond of skulls, don't they? There was this one fellow wearing the most atrocious armor, with skulls and horns all over it. I wonder if he meant for his foes to laugh themselves to death.
Yes, it seems my son's girlfriend will definitely be allowed to live. We have reached a mutual understanding. She is very much devoted to my son, and a bright girl to boot. I think I'll ask her to create a satirical play about this obnoxious competitor of mine...public humiliation is sometimes much more satisfying than outright slaughter, don't you think?
Congratulations on the impending wedding!
You must tell me all about it, as I assume you will be managing the preparations yourself.As for grandchildren, humans work a little differently from Drow, though there is always Lichdom for those who wish to extend their natural lifespan. Doesn't sound very attractive to *me* though, being an undead corpse. And I *certainly* hope that my son will hurry up and produce some grandchildren. Since I only had him, I can't wait to get to spoil them.
I'd better take care to apply the spells carefully though. The girl isn't all that big, it would be too awkward for her to carry triplets. Pity.
Oh, my son's girlfriend *did* manage to produce a nice gift as she came to dinner the other day! A very nice little game that can be plugged into your Crystal Ball. It's called 'Devastation' and you basically trot around a dungeon blasting monsters to bits and bloody chunks. It's actually very soothing. Not quite the same as the real thing, but easier on the laundry.
Only problem is, I keep having to chase my baby away from the Crystal Ball, he hogs it in order to play chess against it, and he keeps muttering something about 'One day...one day...when I've practised enough...demon summoning...'
Yours,
Thayvian Matriarch
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From: Dark elven mother < DuskyVixxen@Amnnet.org >
To: Thayvian matriarch < RedLady@thayvianconquerors.com >
Subject: Concerned Moms
Ah, plays! I have plenty of experience with those. My son is a playwright, and constantly has his nose in scripts and songbooks. We were rather angry with him last year, when he decided to write a trilogy about the adventures of my lover's party across the Sword Coast... using our names and WITHOUT asking our permission until the very last moment...
And, oh dear, this wedding is taking so much more trouble to organize than I thought! Drow marriages are easy. If one Drow likes another, both parties simply sign a contract in blood for one year or ten which can be renewed later. So much more simpler. No party, no caterors, no dresses, no bridesmaids, no portraiteers, no guests, no guestrooms to prepare, no cake, no festhall, no bands, no priests... Suffice it to say, I have so much details to take care off... So many servants to threaten, so many caterors to bully...
Of course, my soon to be daughter-in-law is strutting around the Keep like she owns the place. *sigh* My daughters keep telling me I'm seeing things that aren't there, but, arggg, she's just able to annoy the hell out of me without even trying! I know I should get over it or my son's feelings will be hurt, but she can be SO maddening. I'm glad you, at least, can get along with your soon to be daughter-in-law. I guess it'll take a bit more effort.
Well, I need to get back to organizing! I'll talk to you later,
Yours truly,
Dark elven mother.
