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Past and Future


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#1 Guest_Soris_*

Posted 15 January 2003 - 04:23 PM

Past and Future

Viconia found herself seated between Soris and Keldorn’s youngest child. Across from her sat Maria, and beside the human woman, Keldorn. The rest of the party was scattered around the table. Although she had spent a great deal of time on the surface, at least in comparison to other Drow, Viconia still felt uncomfortable, especially at large gatherings. She was beginning to see just how different the Drow way of life was from the surface way, and in most cases it was not seen as superior. Still, she did know how to properly conduct herself through a meal, and she watched with a wry sense of amusement as Soris attempted to navigate his way through the maze of courses, cups, and forks. It didn’t take long for her to realize that he was completely lost.

“Having trouble, jaluk?” She gave him a smug smile.

Soris shot her an annoyed look and began to darken around his ears.

“Start at the outside and work in. Just watch me.”

That won’t be a problem, but Soris, do you really need her to tell you how to eat? I really thought you were more competent than that. A small voice purred inside Soris’ head.

Soris gladly accepted Viconia’s assistance and even managed to keep from blushing, too much. From there on, the meal passed very smoothly.

After the meal, the group descended into the realm of quit conversation. Keldorn and Maria spoke with Soris and Jaheira, and Minsc and Imoen began to tell the two girls stories of the group’s adventures. Soris was even amazed to find Eric curled up on Leona’s lap, snoring soundly.

Viconia found herself cut-off. Soris was clearly occupied talking to both Keldorn and Maria, and Viconia did not think it would be appropriate to interrupt them. Instead, she retreated to a corner of the sitting room and seated herself on a large comfortable chair, intent on examining her surroundings.

The Firecams lived well but not as lavishly as Viconia would have expected from such a well-respected knight of the Order. Most of the items she saw were well built, but also old and worn, still in good condition, but not new. She thought it fit well with the old paladin and his wife. Eventually, she grew tired of observing her surroundings and began to watch Soris as he spoke with Keldorn. Maria was gone, and Viconia did not see her anywhere in the room.

She shrugged and began to concentrate on her lover. He looked better. Keldorn made some sort of comment and the young sorcerer actually smiled. He was still painfully thin, however, and she knew that his ordeal meant that he still fell into bed most nights completely exhausted with cramps in the muscles in his back. His usual gleam of confidence had also returned, and she could see it as he spoke with the paladin. She frowned. She didn’t understand what still stood between them. She had thought he would welcome the chance to be with her again, but still, he hesitated, and she didn’t know what else she could do. She gently fingered an object in a pouch at her belt. It was a small silver star hung on a black leather thong. She knew her lover found the stars to be special, and she had purchased it for him with that in mind. She thought he would like it, but she couldn’t bring herself to give it to him, not yet.

She was so caught up in her thoughts, that she was startled when Maria sat down in the chair next to hers. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine.” Viconia certainly didn’t feel hostility towards the human woman, but Maria had startled her, and being startled always put the Drow woman on edge.

“I have been speaking with my husband and your…” The human paused when she saw the look of pain that transfixed the Drow’s face.

Viconia saw the human woman hesitate, and dark elf immediately pulled back her emotions to form a mask of indifference. “Soris.” She said his name in a flat tone, with not trace of emotion.

“Soris,” Maria continued. “Neither he, nor my husband are willing to tell me. How is it that you came to travel with a paladin? I never would have expected my husband to consent to travel with you, but I can see that you have earned his respect even if he does not agree with all you believe.”

Maria looked at Viconia with open eyes, active interest, and the Drow woman felt compelled to tell her the tale. “It began as you might have expected. Your husband was not at all tolerant of me, nor I of him. Most of the time, Soris had to work just to keep us from killing each other. Despite his best efforts, our animosity continued to build. I knew that Soris valued your husband’s strength as well has his status as a paladin. He also had much respect for your husband as a sort of mentor. Your husband’s humility in handling his failure with you made a rather significant impression.”

At this, Maria nodded. She was very grateful to Keldorn for both his understanding and his forgiveness. If he had been a different man, she was sure she would have lost him. The incident before had been as much her fault as his even though he had come to blame himself. The human woman gently twisted the plain gold band that encircled her left ring finger.

“Our animosity continued to build to more violent levels. One day, we met a man on the outskirts of the promenade. He was able to guess my identity, even from under my hood and proceeded to foam at his foolish rivvil mouth. Soris warned him off, but the fool attacked. I was more than capable of defending myself, but before I could do anything, Soris reacted. He never intended to kill the man. The fool’s own stupidity did that. He fell on his dagger when Soris knocked him down. The dagger was poisoned with a substance that eats away the victim from the inside out. It is a rather slow and painful process. There is no cure, even magically. Your husband did not see the incident as an accident. He had recently learned of Soris’ heritage as a Bhaalspawn, and even though Soris rarely acts like the stereotypical Bhaalspawn, you husband had trouble accepting him. The paladin held the man’s death against Soris and accused me of assisting him. Soris was given an ultimatum. Either he could reform by dismissing me and accepting the paladin’s guidance, or he would be left on his own and would most likely be met with hostility from other paladins in the future.”

Again, Maria nodded. “That does sound like my husband. Stubborn, even when it does him no good.

At this, Viconia let out a quiet chuckle and continued her story. “Yes, he was stubborn, but then, so was Soris. He refused to dismiss either of us, saying we were both indispensable to him as friends and party members. Keldorn simply shook his head, gathered his gear and started to walk away. As he turned his back, Soris uttered one word, ‘Coward’. The paladin turned, a look that was both shock and fury appeared on his face…

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“How dare you! I was facing dangers and evils that would leech the very blood from your body before you were even born.”

“But now, you run.” Soris could have taunted the paladin, but he didn’t.

“I do not run, but I will not continue to serve beside this evil any longer.”

“What evil has she done?”

“You have heard her! She is selfish and arrogant! She openly insults all those who are not like her. You yourself have born the afflictions of her insults. Now you accept them. You even kill to defend them.” The paladin spoke with a conviction that dared the sorcerer to defy him.

“Oh, and that makes her different from probably half of the humans on this planet. If her arrogance and selfishness are what make her evil, then why do you not kill her and all of the others like her.”

At this, the paladin made no reply. He had no solid answer.

“What is wrong? Can’t decide for yourself? Perhaps you need your precious order of pompous fools to direct you?” Viconia could see that her insults pierced the wall of silence Keldorn had erected around himself.

“Come now, coward, wael. Strike me down if you find me so evil. Or perhaps you really are too weak.”

“Viconia! That’s enough.” Soris tried in vain to avert the coming conflict.

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My taunts were more than your male could bear, and he drew his blade. We fought, and he quickly overcame me, as I knew he would. I am a fair warrior, but my true strength lies elsewhere.”

“You were overcome?” Maria interjected. “You knew he would overcome you, but you still challenged him? How is it that you still survive?”

Viconia allowed a small gleam to enter her eye. She enjoyed telling this tale. “I wanted to see what Soris would do. I wanted to see if he truly prized me as much as he claimed he did. He did not disappoint me. Soris intervened before the final blow could be struck with his usual flare for the dramatic. He threw his body over mine, to shield me from the blade.” Viconia paused to give Soris an unmistakable glance. Maria watched her. If Soris had seen his lover at that moment, he would have been beet red.

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The old paladin halted his final blow mid-swing. “Get out of the way. This ends now.”

“Yes, Keldorn, it does. If you truly believe that Viconia deserves to die, then strike me down as well. You know of my heritage. I am as evil as she.”

“If that is your choice, Bhaalspawn, so be it.”

The paladin lifted his blade and started to swing. Three times he tried, and three times he stopped mere inches from the neck of the resolute young sorcerer. Finally, he dropped his blade, and stood, trembling. His rage, his hatred was spent, and it had come to nothing. Reaching down, he slowly lifted the sword from the ground and slid it home. A look of great sadness flickered deep within his heart, and his very soul.

“I’m sorry, Soris. I must go now. I need to think some things through. I…I…it seems I don’t know where I stand any more.”

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“He was gone for three days, but he did return and asked to travel with us again. Soris was relieved, but he did seek my approval. I gave it, although I did not understand why he would accept the weak jaluk back into our midst. The decision, however was not mine to make.”

“Were you surprised by his return?”

“Yes, I did not expect him to do so. I saw him as a weak old fool who couldn’t see out of his self-imposed confines. Your husband surprised me. From that moment on, I treated him with some measure of respect. It was not the respect given to an ally, but rather the respect that is earned by a competent and dangerous stranger. I constantly tested him, forced him to prove his strength repeatedly, and our personal philosophies clashed many times, but we never drew near to bloodshed again. An uneasy peace reigned.”

“And now?” Maria’s voice was questioning, and her look was serious. Viconia knew her next answer would reveal much about her. She spoke carefully.

“Ever since I have come to the surface, humans have surprised me. I expected to be hunted, but at every turn, there have also been people willing to set aside stereotypes and prejudices to help me. I have learned much from them. I left the Underdark seeing all non-Drow as weaklings and fools. Soris and Sir Keldorn have changed that.”

Maria noted the addition of the title before her husband’s name. The Drow used it in a very respectful manner. “That is a very interesting story, and I’m sure you have many more you could tell me that would be equally interesting, and I hope you will do so sometime in the future, but there is another thing about which I’d like to speak with you. I understand that you and Soris are lovers.”

Viconia tried to keep the pain she felt hidden from the other woman. She was not successful.

“My husband spoke of what happened. I used to deal with similar circumstances when I worked with the Order. Not everything they do pertains to slaying evil. Sometimes, it is all they can do to help clean up the mess it leaves in its wake.”

Viconia did not want to listen to the human woman’s words. Her mind had become caught up in the anger and frustration she felt with Soris. She had helped him, saved him, but it had gained her nothing. On every front, she was losing ground. She didn’t know how much more she could lose. Maria opened her mouth to say more, but Viconia cut her off.

“My personal life is precisely that. I don’t need any other rivvin telling me how to live my life, or council me on how to treat my male. I have had four husbands. I am a cleric, and I have dealt with injuries before. Do you doubt my competence?”

To Viconia’s surprise, Maria did not become angry or even appear intimidated or affronted. She spoke with a quiet but firm conviction. “I do not doubt you competence, but what happened to those husbands? Do you want that to happen to Soris? Listen to me.” Her tone was uncompromising, worthy of the greatest of the Matron Mothers. Viconia had no choice but to listen. “You may not like what I have to say, but you will think about it. Soris is not your male. He is his own person. If he chooses to give himself to you, that’s fine, but it is a gift for you. Not a right. Remember that, and treat it as such. I think you have glimpsed this, but do not truly accept it. Until that, you will never really satisfy your desire.”

“But I already…we already achieved that.” Viconia was fierce, stubborn.

“Did you now? And did he give you a gift?”

Viconia thought of a night. It seemed a long time ago, now. “Yes.”

“So he did offer himself to you? Did you accept him, graciously?”

The Drow fell silent. A cold dangerous light glinted in her eyes.

Maria continued. “I didn’t think so. In doing so, you rejected him, cut him off. Now you expect him to come running back to you for comfort. It is not that easy. It will be difficult to reach that point again. You will have to open up, to show things that you do not want him to see. You will have to make yourself vulnerable.”

Viconia swallowed. Maria’s words made her think of Adalon, and the Drow understood. She would have to give up what she prized most, herself. I can’t do it. She became angry and broke off the conversation. Soris had signaled the rest of the party to go on home while he waited for the two women to finish.

Viconia indicated that she was ready to leave and slung her cloak over her shoulders. Soris stepped out into the night. Before the Drow could leave, however, Maria gripped her arm. “I know you are angry, and frustrated, but listen to one last thing. Whatever you do, do not force him to act, to make a choice. He will not do as you wish him to do. If you force him, then you will be no better than Phaere.”

Maria’s words stung her in a way that Viconia did not think was possible. She jerked her arm away from the other woman and stormed out into the night, a dark scowl plastered across her face. Maria stood in the doorway and frowned.




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