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Blades and Magic: Part 83 Section 1


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#1 Guest_Winter_Bloom_*

Posted 21 December 2003 - 01:42 AM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :lol:

*closes eyes and presses post* :shock:

 

Andaire tightened her grip on the bottles she was holding. The glass was rather warm now and her palms were beginning to sweat. She tried to hide her nervousness and wondered if it showed. By the gods, how many more people were going to introduce themselves to her or Jaheira?

"Might as well be somewhat polite," the half elf said. "So I'll say hello, nice to meet you and all that."

He nodded and appeared to accept her at her word. A thought seemed to have occurred to him then, and he looked around him, trying to catch sight of someone who wasn't there. Merand turned to Jaheira and respectfully said to her, "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"

Jaheira's face went a little pale and Andaire saw her draw in her breath. However, the druid's voice was steady if tinged with sorrow. "Merand, Khalid is not here. I-I'm sorry but he's dead, gone to nature's embrace."

"Dead?" the warrior cried in shock. "How did that happen?"

"I'd rather not speak of such things in a place like this," Jaheira answered as she resumed her selection of merchandise. "It wouldn't be proper."

"I'm sorry Jaheira," the warrior told her as he reached out and clasped her hand in a comforting gesture. "I should not be so rude to my friend's widow. I'll speak no more of this matter unless you deem so otherwise."

Blackie bit Andaire's ear just then, so she missed on the rest of the exchange as she had to deal with the pain in her ear. She reached up to swat the bird and remembered at the last second that her hands were still full of glass bottles, and that if she took a swing at the crow she was liable to hit herself in the head. She gave her familiar an evil look and was barely able to catch what Jaheira was saying. Her ear was still throbbing too; the damn bird had bit it hard and she launched a soft string of curses at Blackie.

"So," the druid demanded, continuing part of a conversation that Andaire had missed hearing. "What brings you to this part of the world, Merand?"

"I was asked to undertake a certain task," he said evasively. "I had to guard a woman and one we both know, who had an inheritance to pass on in the name of someone who no longer is among the living. It's a duty I had to undertake."

"I know why you are really here," Jaheira declared, looking over her shoulder just in time to see her charge cursing at her familiar. "And if you mean her any harm, you will have to deal with me. Naturally, the reason for your presence here has become too fond of cursing in public places."

Andaire looked up and straightened herself out as best as she could. She attempted as best she could to copy Jaheira's usual poise and she thought, she succeeded at least partially. "You would swear too Jaheira," Andaire said, "If you had an ear biting crow. Oh yes, Merry?"

"Merand," the man replied evenly. "That is my name."

"Merand," the small half elf repeated, not quite sure if she could trust him yet. "If you ever get yourself a pet or companion or whatever, try not to get a crow. They're trouble with a capital tee. This by the way is my familiar Blackie. Blackie, tell me what you think of him."

Blackie coked his head and blinked. He studied the man with his beady little eyes and squawked, "Hi Cranky!"

"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"

Jaheira gave no comment on the situation, but her expression and slight smile spoke volumes.

 

He knew the voice was familiar to him as soon as he turned the corner. She looked a bit older but otherwise the years hadn't touched Jaheira at all. Her face, her poise was still the same and her golden hair was done in a multi-braided style that was both practical and flattering to the half elfin woman. He didn't see Khalid anywhere but since he never left his wife's side for very long, the man couldn't be too far away.

The druid was instructing a young woman on hygiene, if he heard correctly though he wasn't sure what had been said. He decided not to ask, it wasn't his business if women wanted to talk about womanly stuff. Still, it was time he let the women know he was there, although he did avoid looking at the younger one.

"Jaheira, is that you?" he asked.

Both women glanced sharply at him and that's when he noticed a dark shape on the shoulder of the younger half elf. He had no time to really study her for Jaheira smiled and announced, "Yes, it is I. I haven't seen you in a dog's age Merand, how have you been?"

He wanted to say tolerable in response, but instead he said, "I'm doing well enough Jaheira and I must say, you look as beautiful as ever. Ah, I suppose it would only be polite if I were to be introduced to the young lady with you."

Jaheira raised her eyebrow at him and Merand mentally cursed himself for what he said to her. True she was beautiful but he wasn't supposed to say it out loud, he thought. It was perhaps too forward of him although Jaheira accepted his compliment as one friend greeting another. When she introduced him formally to the girl, he had to brace himself for the challenge. He heard himself say something though he wasn't really thinking of the words that came out of his mouth.

By the gods, Andaire resembled her mother more than she ever did as a child and in his opinion; she was just as pretty as that enchanting blonde half elf he knew years ago. Merand made himself look at her, noting how the shape of her mouth was the same as her mother's, just like the eyes that were weighed with suspicion. The ears, those large pointed ears were definitely Elideira's, there was no question about it. He never thought two people could look so much alike, yet there were differences, subtle as they were. And Merand knew without a doubt where the differences like the brown hair and the span of the forehead had come from. Despite a struggle within himself not to do it, he picked out those minor differences and put together in his mind a mental picture of… of Bhaal's avatar at the time of Andaire's… creation.

"Might as well be somewhat polite," he heard the girl say after a time. "So I'll say hello, nice to meet you and all that."

He nodded, not trusting himself to do anything else. Above all he needed time to deal with Andaire's presence. Her voice he had to admit was nice, a soft husky thing. He reasoned that men might pay an inordinate attention to her because of it and he reasoned that was Jaheira's problem now. If he knew the druid like he thought he did, she was a very effective guardian indeed, and what she couldn't take care of, Khalid would.

Then a realization dawned upon him. His friend Khalid was nowhere in sight although he figured the man was busy elsewhere. He felt a need to talk to him, man to man in a way although he wasn't really looking forward to the kind half elf's urging that Merand settle down and find himself a wife that he could live with. He gave a mental shrug for he knew Khalid was biased and any woman he ever suggested as a suitable candidate was in some manner a reflection of his own forceful wife. "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"

"Merand, Khalid is not here," Jaheira replied sadly. "I-I'm sorry but he's dead, gone to nature's embrace."

"Dead?" he cried in shock. "How did that happen?"

He listened to her response and then he apologized for his blunder. If only he had known, he would not have said anything! Selona likely would have said he lacked tact but Merand thought it was all a matter of timing. Then again, when was a good time to mention a woman's dead husband? Merand spoke to Jaheira more, mostly he explained as briefly as possible where he came from and how he ended up in this part of the world. Jaheira scoffed at his quick assessment, saying that the gods have their ways and he should explain himself better.

Merand sighed; he should have known that women were never satisfied with simple explanations. Why did they have to make everything so complicated anyway?

Then the girl, Andaire, spoke to him and called him Merry. He clenched his jaw; that was the nick name one of his old mercenary captains called him when he was just a lad of fourteen. He didn't like the name then and he didn't like the name now. It still wasn't funny. He corrected the girl of course and then she gave him a warning about crows before she introduced her familiar. Merand didn't trust the way the bird Blackie was looking at him, the creature stared at him in a discerning way. He paid a lot of attention to the crow; it was easier than trying to focus on his mistress.

"Hi Cranky!" the bird said, startling the man.

"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"

Andaire grinned impishly; clearly the girl was enjoying this. "That's the name he gave you," she chortled. "Lucky for you he likes you, although that may not be a good thing. I'll reserve my judgment till later, but if Jae says you're fine then I shall believe her."

"Jae?" the older woman demanded in a tone Merand knew all too well.

"Um, did I say that out loud?" Andaire wondered. "I meant to say Jaheira of course, I really did."

"Ah, that's what I thought," Jaheira replied. "I wouldn't want you to get too careless after all. Andaire, we should go and pay for our supplies. There's much we need to talk about and I don't want to do it here. Merand, are you coming with us?"

This was the moment that Merand had been waiting for and he found himself nervous over the prospect, much to his dismay. He told himself no, he had a duty to do and he couldn't waste such a golden opportunity to fulfill said duty. In an authoritative voice he said, "Of course, if you will permit me to accompany you and Andaire. Young lady, I'm actually accompanying a priestess as her guard, and right now she's in the care of my animal companion. He's a dog and not a bird, so you're lucky."

"You're the lucky one," the diminutive young woman mused. "Why are you with a priestess and what faith does she serve?"

"That's a good question," the druid interjected, more for the girl's benefit than her own, Merand thought. "Care to answer that, Merand?"

He nodded in agreement that yes, he would say what his purpose was. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what his god told him, not yet anyway. Now though he could discharge his duty properly. "You will know the priestess Jaheira, it's Selona. She's of the same faith as your mother was, Andaire, and she tells me you have followed in your mother's footsteps. She has a small inheritance for you, a final gift from your mother. I'll escort you two ladies to her; she's not that far away."

Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"

Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.

#2 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 21 December 2003 - 10:30 AM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :D


Well... pretty much all my stuff is about character interaction, so I will definitely like this. :D

Andaire tightened her grip on the bottles she was holding. The glass was rather warm now and her palms were beginning to sweat. She tried to hide her nervousness and wondered if it showed. By the gods, how many more people were going to introduce themselves to her or Jaheira?


Lots and lots. And they'll become more and more annoying...

He nodded and appeared to accept her at her word. A thought seemed to have occurred to him then, and he looked around him, trying to catch sight of someone who wasn't there. Merand turned to Jaheira and respectfully said to her, "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"


:(

Btw, 'and he looked around him,' that 'him' seems to be a bit redundant, no?

"I'm sorry Jaheira," the warrior told her as he reached out and clasped her hand in a comforting gesture. "I should not be so rude to my friend's widow. I'll speak no more of this matter unless you deem so otherwise."


:( Yes, but Jaheira is the kind of person who will not speak of her problems, unless you prod her...

"I was asked to undertake a certain task," he said evasively. "I had to guard a woman and one we both know, who had an inheritance to pass on in the name of someone who no longer is among the living. It's a duty I had to undertake."


He couldn't have been more evasive than that... :D

"I know why you are really here," Jaheira declared, looking over her shoulder just in time to see her charge cursing at her familiar. "And if you mean her any harm, you will have to deal with me. Naturally, the reason for your presence here has become too fond of cursing in public places."


Oooh, now that got those protective urges flowing quite strongly... :)

Andaire looked up and straightened herself out as best as she could. She attempted as best she could to copy Jaheira's usual poise and she thought, she succeeded at least partially. "You would swear too Jaheira," Andaire said, "If you had an ear biting crow. Oh yes, Merry?"


Bwahaha! He'll grow to like it! :)

Blackie coked his head and blinked. He studied the man with his beady little eyes and squawked, "Hi Cranky!"


"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


Jaheira gave no comment on the situation, but her expression and slight smile spoke volumes.


Very cute... :)

He knew the voice was familiar to him as soon as he turned the corner. She looked a bit older but otherwise the years hadn't touched Jaheira at all. Her face, her poise was still the same and her golden hair was done in a multi-braided style that was both practical and flattering to the half elfin woman. He didn't see Khalid anywhere but since he never left his wife's side for very long, the man couldn't be too far away.


:( And you know what, Merand is actually right in a very disturbing way - Khalid's body lies very nearby to where Ribald's store is...

He wanted to say tolerable in response, but instead he said, "I'm doing well enough Jaheira and I must say, you look as beautiful as ever. Ah, I suppose it would only be polite if I were to be introduced to the young lady with you."


'to seem tolerable', perhaps?

Jaheira raised her eyebrow at him and Merand mentally cursed himself for what he said to her. True she was beautiful but he wasn't supposed to say it out loud, he thought. It was perhaps too forward of him although Jaheira accepted his compliment as one friend greeting another. When she introduced him formally to the girl, he had to brace himself for the challenge. He heard himself say something though he wasn't really thinking of the words that came out of his mouth.


Merand isn't a really eloquent speaker, is he? But I can understand him... hehe, just because a girl is married, she doesn't get less attractive, really. :) But not exactly what you would want to say to a recent widow. :)

By the gods, Andaire resembled her mother more than she ever did as a child and in his opinion; she was just as pretty as that enchanting blonde half elf he knew years ago. Merand made himself look at her, noting how the shape of her mouth was the same as her mother's, just like the eyes that were weighed with suspicion. The ears, those large pointed ears were definitely Elideira's, there was no question about it. He never thought two people could look so much alike, yet there were differences, subtle as they were. And Merand knew without a doubt where the differences like the brown hair and the span of the forehead had come from. Despite a struggle within himself not to do it, he picked out those minor differences and put together in his mind a mental picture of of Bhaal's avatar at the time of Andaire's creation.


;) So, what form did the Bhaal avatar assume? :)

Do you need that semi-colon after 'opinion'? Me thinks not...

Then a realization dawned upon him. His friend Khalid was nowhere in sight although he figured the man was busy elsewhere. He felt a need to talk to him, man to man in a way although he wasn't really looking forward to the kind half elf's urging that Merand settle down and find himself a wife that he could live with. He gave a mental shrug for he knew Khalid was biased and any woman he ever suggested as a suitable candidate was in some manner a reflection of his own forceful wife. "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"


Yes, I also like to think that Khalid was very happy in their union with Jaheira... :D

He listened to her response and then he apologized for his blunder. If only he had known, he would not have said anything! Selona likely would have said he lacked tact but Merand thought it was all a matter of timing. Then again, when was a good time to mention a woman's dead husband? Merand spoke to Jaheira more, mostly he explained as briefly as possible where he came from and how he ended up in this part of the world. Jaheira scoffed at his quick assessment, saying that the gods have their ways and he should explain himself better.


Again, in the first sentence the second 'he' seems to create an impression of verbosity... that's just my opinion, though.

Merand sighed; he should have known that women were never satisfied with simple explanations. Why did they have to make everything so complicated anyway?


That's what makes women so loveable, you dummy. :D

Andaire grinned impishly; clearly the girl was enjoying this. "That's the name he gave you," she chortled. "Lucky for you he likes you, although that may not be a good thing. I'll reserve my judgment till later, but if Jae says you're fine then I shall believe her."


"Jae?" the older woman demanded in a tone Merand knew all too well.


"Um, did I say that out loud?" Andaire wondered. "I meant to say Jaheira of course, I really did."


Oh, she will like it eventually, I'm sure. :D She'll not protest about Theo and Immy calling her like that in 'Rush' :D

He nodded in agreement that yes, he would say what his purpose was. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what his god told him, not yet anyway. Now though he could discharge his duty properly. "You will know the priestess Jaheira, it's Selona. She's of the same faith as your mother was, Andaire, and she tells me you have followed in your mother's footsteps. She has a small inheritance for you, a final gift from your mother. I'll escort you two ladies to her; she's not that far away."


Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"


Yes, that would interest her a lot... and me too! :)

Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


Awwww! :P

I liked this chapter. At first I was not sure about your decision to do the same conversation twice from different PoV's, but I ended up thinking it was the right decision. It was nice to see what's going in the heads of Andi and Merry (tee-hee!) and if you wouldn't have split the chapter like you did, there would be one hell of PoV jumping, which is rumored not to be a good thing. :P

#3 Guest_Winter_Bloom_*

Posted 21 December 2003 - 11:35 PM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :)


Well... pretty much all my stuff is about character interaction, so I will definitely like this. :D


That's what I like about your stuff. :)


Andaire tightened her grip on the bottles she was holding. The glass was rather warm now and her palms were beginning to sweat. She tried to hide her nervousness and wondered if it showed. By the gods, how many more people were going to introduce themselves to her or Jaheira?


Lots and lots. And they'll become more and more annoying...


Oh yes. She has yet to see Dermin the Vermin, and Big Red still hasn't been able to approach her (an oversite I shall correct sometime in the future.)


He nodded and appeared to accept her at her word. A thought seemed to have occurred to him then, and he looked around him, trying to catch sight of someone who wasn't there. Merand turned to Jaheira and respectfully said to her, "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"


:(


He has no clue, poor guy. He actually liked and respected Khalid.

Btw, 'and he looked around him,' that 'him' seems to be a bit redundant, no?


Fixed on the copy I have on my HD. Thanks, these comments are like putting the polish on an antique table. :D


"I'm sorry Jaheira," the warrior told her as he reached out and clasped her hand in a comforting gesture. "I should not be so rude to my friend's widow. I'll speak no more of this matter unless you deem so otherwise."


:( Yes, but Jaheira is the kind of person who will not speak of her problems, unless you prod her...


Exactly and despite his promise, he will prod.


"I was asked to undertake a certain task," he said evasively. "I had to guard a woman and one we both know, who had an inheritance to pass on in the name of someone who no longer is among the living. It's a duty I had to undertake."


He couldn't have been more evasive than that... :(


*sighs* It's a force of habit with him. He's got some quirks that definately change what I'm writing when I write about him.


"I know why you are really here," Jaheira declared, looking over her shoulder just in time to see her charge cursing at her familiar. "And if you mean her any harm, you will have to deal with me. Naturally, the reason for your presence here has become too fond of cursing in public places."


Oooh, now that got those protective urges flowing quite strongly... :)


Mwahaha, oh yes. :)


Andaire looked up and straightened herself out as best as she could. She attempted as best she could to copy Jaheira's usual poise and she thought, she succeeded at least partially. "You would swear too Jaheira," Andaire said, "If you had an ear biting crow. Oh yes, Merry?"


Bwahaha! He'll grow to like it! :)


:)


Blackie coked his head and blinked. He studied the man with his beady little eyes and squawked, "Hi Cranky!"



"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"



Jaheira gave no comment on the situation, but her expression and slight smile spoke volumes.


Very cute... :)


Blackie certainly thought so, heh, heh... :)


He knew the voice was familiar to him as soon as he turned the corner. She looked a bit older but otherwise the years hadn't touched Jaheira at all. Her face, her poise was still the same and her golden hair was done in a multi-braided style that was both practical and flattering to the half elfin woman. He didn't see Khalid anywhere but since he never left his wife's side for very long, the man couldn't be too far away.


:( And you know what, Merand is actually right in a very disturbing way - Khalid's body lies very nearby to where Ribald's store is...


Did that on purpose. He has no idea how right he is.


He wanted to say tolerable in response, but instead he said, "I'm doing well enough Jaheira and I must say, you look as beautiful as ever. Ah, I suppose it would only be polite if I were to be introduced to the young lady with you."


'to seem tolerable', perhaps?


Actually, I was trying to say that he wanted to say he was tolderable in responce to Jaheira's question on how he was doing. Drove me nuts, that line did and it still didn't come out like how I wanted.


Jaheira raised her eyebrow at him and Merand mentally cursed himself for what he said to her. True she was beautiful but he wasn't supposed to say it out loud, he thought. It was perhaps too forward of him although Jaheira accepted his compliment as one friend greeting another. When she introduced him formally to the girl, he had to brace himself for the challenge. He heard himself say something though he wasn't really thinking of the words that came out of his mouth.


Merand isn't a really eloquent speaker, is he? But I can understand him... hehe, just because a girl is married, she doesn't get less attractive, really. :) But not exactly what you would want to say to a recent widow. :?


Nope, he's a plain sort of speaker and yes, that can and will get him into trouble. Tee-hee, I've got some specific quests for him and I think they will be fun since I'm evil and love tormenting my characters. :P

And yes, he feels like a heel because he violated his own codes regarding behavior towards women. Oddly enough, I think hearing another man call her beautiful in an honest manner is what Jae needed to hear.

Heh, and considering that Jae was his friend and she's the widow of his other friend, he's going to feel protective towards her. Not sure if she'll appreciate that or not. :)


By the gods, Andaire resembled her mother more than she ever did as a child and in his opinion; she was just as pretty as that enchanting blonde half elf he knew years ago. Merand made himself look at her, noting how the shape of her mouth was the same as her mother's, just like the eyes that were weighed with suspicion. The ears, those large pointed ears were definitely Elideira's, there was no question about it. He never thought two people could look so much alike, yet there were differences, subtle as they were. And Merand knew without a doubt where the differences like the brown hair and the span of the forehead had come from. Despite a struggle within himself not to do it, he picked out those minor differences and put together in his mind a mental picture of… of Bhaal's avatar at the time of Andaire's… creation.


:roll: So, what form did the Bhaal avatar assume? :?


Ah, might as well tell you (might use this image sometime). Half elf, slender and lean (bit very fit) with normal sized pointed ears for a half elf. Pale skin, brown eyes that sometimes shift to yellow, thin lips and shoulder length brown hair. Wore black leather-like clothes that covered him head to toe, but had shoulder pads with small spikes on them. Handsome but cold and cruel. Very quick with his daggers.

And yes, that's the image Merand got.

Do you need that semi-colon after 'opinion'? Me thinks not...


Ack! Stupid MS software, never let it 'fix' all the grammer mistakes it thinks it finds. :(


Then a realization dawned upon him. His friend Khalid was nowhere in sight although he figured the man was busy elsewhere. He felt a need to talk to him, man to man in a way although he wasn't really looking forward to the kind half elf's urging that Merand settle down and find himself a wife that he could live with. He gave a mental shrug for he knew Khalid was biased and any woman he ever suggested as a suitable candidate was in some manner a reflection of his own forceful wife. "I don't see Khalid anywhere and I'd like to talk to him, to catch up on old times. He's a good man, is he somewhere nearby?"


Yes, I also like to think that Khalid was very happy in their union with Jaheira... :D


Oh yes, and he would think that any woman that's like Jaheira would be a god match for his friend. *whistles innocently* :)


He listened to her response and then he apologized for his blunder. If only he had known, he would not have said anything! Selona likely would have said he lacked tact but Merand thought it was all a matter of timing. Then again, when was a good time to mention a woman's dead husband? Merand spoke to Jaheira more, mostly he explained as briefly as possible where he came from and how he ended up in this part of the world. Jaheira scoffed at his quick assessment, saying that the gods have their ways and he should explain himself better.


Again, in the first sentence the second 'he' seems to create an impression of verbosity... that's just my opinion, though.


No, you're absolutely right. Simple enough to get rid of it once someone nudges me in the right direction adn it makes the paragraph flow much better. Hmm, also something I must be careful of in the future. :)


Merand sighed; he should have known that women were never satisfied with simple explanations. Why did they have to make everything so complicated anyway?


That's what makes women so loveable, you dummy. :D


Heh, heh, yep. Just wait until he has to deal with two strong willed women (Vicke and Jae) instead of just Jae. :D


Andaire grinned impishly; clearly the girl was enjoying this. "That's the name he gave you," she chortled. "Lucky for you he likes you, although that may not be a good thing. I'll reserve my judgment till later, but if Jae says you're fine then I shall believe her."



"Jae?" the older woman demanded in a tone Merand knew all too well.



"Um, did I say that out loud?" Andaire wondered. "I meant to say Jaheira of course, I really did."


Oh, she will like it eventually, I'm sure. :D She'll not protest about Theo and Immy calling her like that in 'Rush' :D


Can't wait to see that. :)


He nodded in agreement that yes, he would say what his purpose was. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what his god told him, not yet anyway. Now though he could discharge his duty properly. "You will know the priestess Jaheira, it's Selona. She's of the same faith as your mother was, Andaire, and she tells me you have followed in your mother's footsteps. She has a small inheritance for you, a final gift from your mother. I'll escort you two ladies to her; she's not that far away."



Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"


Yes, that would interest her a lot... and me too! :)


Andaire: Presents, I wonder what I got! :D


Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


Awwww! :P


:)

I liked this chapter. At first I was not sure about your decision to do the same conversation twice from different PoV's, but I ended up thinking it was the right decision. It was nice to see what's going in the heads of Andi and Merry (tee-hee!) and if you wouldn't have split the chapter like you did, there would be one hell of PoV jumping, which is rumored not to be a good thing. :)


I wanted originally to have Meri's point of view but set outside the darn shop. *sigh* The character insisted otherwise. Yes, he is going to be a permanent party member or otherwise I wouldn't have taken all the trouble to drop him in the city. The rest of the group isn't exactly having a boring time, but I'll get to them in another chapter or two. Oh, the girl he was evasively talking about a few chapters ago (she's the younger one that put frogs in his pocket) is not a new character. She's very childlike and impish and Merand defiantely knows her (he delivered her to Gorion at a meeting place after all). Yep, he will *not* be pleased when he learns what really happened to Andi and her companions.

#4 Laufey

Posted 22 December 2003 - 10:45 AM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :wink:


Sure did. :wink: I liked the split POV between Andaire and Merand, nice to see both their takes on the situation.

"I'm sorry Jaheira," the warrior told her as he reached out and clasped her hand in a comforting gesture. "I should not be so rude to my friend's widow. I'll speak no more of this matter unless you deem so otherwise."


Should that perhaps be 'unless you deem otherwise'?


"I was asked to undertake a certain task," he said evasively. "I had to guard a woman and one we both know, who had an inheritance to pass on in the name of someone who no longer is among the living. It's a duty I had to undertake."


That was pretty oblique. :shock:


Blackie coked his head and blinked. He studied the man with his beady little eyes and squawked, "Hi Cranky!"


"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


Oh yes you are! ;)


By the gods, Andaire resembled her mother more than she ever did as a child and in his opinion; she was just as pretty as that enchanting blonde half elf he knew years ago. Merand made himself look at her, noting how the shape of her mouth was the same as her mother's, just like the eyes that were weighed with suspicion. The ears, those large pointed ears were definitely Elideira's, there was no question about it. He never thought two people could look so much alike, yet there were differences, subtle as they were. And Merand knew without a doubt where the differences like the brown hair and the span of the forehead had come from. Despite a struggle within himself not to do it, he picked out those minor differences and put together in his mind a mental picture of of Bhaal's avatar at the time of Andaire's creation.


Ah, poor Merand. ;)

Merand sighed; he should have known that women were never satisfied with simple explanations. Why did they have to make everything so complicated anyway?


:)


Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"


Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


*grin* Some things never change...
Rogues do it from behind.

#5 Guest_Kismet_*

Posted 22 December 2003 - 07:01 PM

I did end up liking the POV switch mid-way, through at first I thought it sounded a bit strange. On further reflection though, I think what made it sound strange to me was just the way you split your chapters. Andaire & Jaheira POV: starts the chapter continuing the conversation with Merand. Merand POV: starts the chapter listening to something that happened in the previous chapter and then catches up to the A&J POV.

Anyhow, I'm glad Merand finally met up with Andaire et. al. Sounds like more fun times ahead for everybody. :)

Oh, and on a somewhat non-related note... will you be updating your novel section or have you given up on that?

#6 Guest_Winter_Bloom_*

Posted 23 December 2003 - 01:01 AM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :lol:


Sure did. :) I liked the split POV between Andaire and Merand, nice to see both their takes on the situation.


Thanks. Took me a while to come up with this.


"I'm sorry Jaheira," the warrior told her as he reached out and clasped her hand in a comforting gesture. "I should not be so rude to my friend's widow. I'll speak no more of this matter unless you deem so otherwise."


Should that perhaps be 'unless you deem otherwise'?


Ah yes. Heh, at least I know now to watch out for that sort of thing.


"I was asked to undertake a certain task," he said evasively. "I had to guard a woman and one we both know, who had an inheritance to pass on in the name of someone who no longer is among the living. It's a duty I had to undertake."


That was pretty oblique. :oops:


Yep, he's as clear as mud sometimes. :P


Blackie coked his head and blinked. He studied the man with his beady little eyes and squawked, "Hi Cranky!"



"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


Oh yes you are! :P


He definately is, heh, heh...


By the gods, Andaire resembled her mother more than she ever did as a child and in his opinion; she was just as pretty as that enchanting blonde half elf he knew years ago. Merand made himself look at her, noting how the shape of her mouth was the same as her mother's, just like the eyes that were weighed with suspicion. The ears, those large pointed ears were definitely Elideira's, there was no question about it. He never thought two people could look so much alike, yet there were differences, subtle as they were. And Merand knew without a doubt where the differences like the brown hair and the span of the forehead had come from. Despite a struggle within himself not to do it, he picked out those minor differences and put together in his mind a mental picture of… of Bhaal's avatar at the time of Andaire's… creation.


Ah, poor Merand. :?


That I think has been one of his major problems with Andi. :P


Merand sighed; he should have known that women were never satisfied with simple explanations. Why did they have to make everything so complicated anyway?


:twisted:


:wink:


Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"



Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


*grin* Some things never change...


Nope. :P

#7 Guest_Winter_Bloom_*

Posted 23 December 2003 - 01:05 AM

I did end up liking the POV switch mid-way, through at first I thought it sounded a bit strange. On further reflection though, I think what made it sound strange to me was just the way you split your chapters. Andaire & Jaheira POV: starts the chapter continuing the conversation with Merand. Merand POV: starts the chapter listening to something that happened in the previous chapter and then catches up to the A&J POV.


I've use the technique before, way in the beginning perhaps.

Anyhow, I'm glad Merand finally met up with Andaire et. al. Sounds like more fun times ahead for everybody. :oops:


Oh yes, I'm going to have fun with this. :wink:

Oh, and on a somewhat non-related note... will you be updating your novel section or have you given up on that?


Er, I actually have buckets of chapters yet to post/edit/that sort of thing. I'd really like it if I had the option of doing it myself, however I can not. Then again it would probably help if I could a) design a website and :lol: find a free place to host it (my isp has low bandwidth limits for websites). Since it would be Leo who would update the novel if I sent him the chapters, I'd likely cause him to faint if he saw that many chapters in his inbox. :twisted:

So yeah, not sure what to do atm. Website sounds like the best idea... if I could write HTML that is.

#8 Weyoun

Posted 24 December 2003 - 08:47 PM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :)


*closes eyes and presses post* :D


Oh, you'll do fine. You always do.

"Dead?" the warrior cried in shock. "How did that happen?"


:D You don't wanna know.

Blackie bit Andaire's ear just then, so she missed on the rest of the exchange as she had to deal with the pain in her ear. She reached up to swat the bird and remembered at the last second that her hands were still full of glass bottles, and that if she took a swing at the crow she was liable to hit herself in the head. She gave her familiar an evil look and was barely able to catch what Jaheira was saying. Her ear was still throbbing too; the damn bird had bit it hard and she launched a soft string of curses at Blackie.


That's what happens when you don't give your bird eaties in time. :D

"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


LOL! Perfect nickname there. :D

"Might as well be somewhat polite," he heard the girl say after a time. "So I'll say hello, nice to meet you and all that."


My, my, that sounds enthusiastic. :D

"Hi Cranky!" the bird said, startling the man.


"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


Ey? Didn't I see this part before already? :/

He nodded in agreement that yes, he would say what his purpose was. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what his god told him, not yet anyway. Now though he could discharge his duty properly. "You will know the priestess Jaheira, it's Selona. She's of the same faith as your mother was, Andaire, and she tells me you have followed in your mother's footsteps. She has a small inheritance for you, a final gift from your mother. I'll escort you two ladies to her; she's not that far away."


Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"


Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


LOL! Typical, ey? :wink:

Great stuff,
---Weyoun
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#9 Guest_Winter_Bloom_*

Posted 30 December 2003 - 10:53 PM

Posting this after suffering through a horrible case of WB. As usual critique it as much as you like, I'm the Typo Queen after all and I'm bound to miss stuff. All character interaction in this episode and I hope you like it anyway. :D



*closes eyes and presses post* :twisted:


Oh, you'll do fine. You always do.


:twisted:


"Dead?" the warrior cried in shock. "How did that happen?"


:twisted: You don't wanna know.


Neither would Jaheira. What she's been told happened to him didn't quite occur that way. :twisted:


Blackie bit Andaire's ear just then, so she missed on the rest of the exchange as she had to deal with the pain in her ear. She reached up to swat the bird and remembered at the last second that her hands were still full of glass bottles, and that if she took a swing at the crow she was liable to hit herself in the head. She gave her familiar an evil look and was barely able to catch what Jaheira was saying. Her ear was still throbbing too; the damn bird had bit it hard and she launched a soft string of curses at Blackie.


That's what happens when you don't give your bird eaties in time. :D


:lol:


"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


LOL! Perfect nickname there. :D


Oh yes.


"Might as well be somewhat polite," he heard the girl say after a time. "So I'll say hello, nice to meet you and all that."


My, my, that sounds enthusiastic. :twisted:


:twisted:


"Hi Cranky!" the bird said, startling the man.



"Cranky?" Merand exclaimed. "I'm Cranky?"


Ey? Didn't I see this part before already? :/


Yeah, I just redid the scene from his perspective


He nodded in agreement that yes, he would say what his purpose was. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what his god told him, not yet anyway. Now though he could discharge his duty properly. "You will know the priestess Jaheira, it's Selona. She's of the same faith as your mother was, Andaire, and she tells me you have followed in your mother's footsteps. She has a small inheritance for you, a final gift from your mother. I'll escort you two ladies to her; she's not that far away."



Andaire smiled then, a genuine smile. She tapped Jaheira on the arm with the potion bottles she had gathered from somewhere and said, "Let's go see her, Jaheira. I want to know what my presents are!"



Jaheira turned her head to face Merand and caught his gaze. Each exchanged the same look of mutual suffering that older people had exchanged regarding the younger generation since time immemorial. Children, they both said.


LOL! Typical, ey? :D


As always. :twisted:

Great stuff,
---Weyoun






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