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#1 Weyoun

Posted 05 January 2003 - 07:01 PM

Writer's comment : This story is a little something I wrote to keep break the dullness of reading 600 pages of economic theories. I really had to get some studying done, and a full Vierna story would have taken me much longer, so I wouldn't have had any time for studies. It's the first time Nyx's words of caution rang true : The Attic eats lives!

by Weyoun.

"Oh, no... Are they at it again?" Nalia asked the two men sharing her table. On the other side of the Copper Coronet, Viconia and Valygar were locked in a snarling match.

"Let's see..." Jan said, trying to read their lips. "Valygar is very angry..."

"You don't have to be able to lip-read to know that, Jan!" Nalia interrupted.

"Let me finish here, missy!" Jan said while he squinted. "Hmmmm, Vicky just said something about him being, " Jan snickered. "an impotent seaslug."

Nalia snickered to herself for a moment, until she noticed the fury on the ranger's face.

"Wait..." Jan said. "Now she's saying..." Jan suddenly blushed a violent red. "Oh, dear... oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..."

"What's she saying? What's she saying?" Nalia was desparate to know.

"Let's just say," Jan said during fits of laughter. "That if ole Valy makes the move on Karis, Vicky'll be mighty mad!"

Valygar was fuming now. It seemed Viconia had crossed the line.

"Oh no, This'll end badly, alright." Nalia sighed.

"Oh, oh..." Jan said. "Watch out, now!"

The three friends stood up, but it was too late to intervene. Valygar drew his Katana and took a swing at the Drow, who dodged it expertly, while drawing her own flail and shield. Karis, who had entered the Copper Coronet only moments ago, dropped the supplies he had bought and drew his own swords. Minsc held Nalia and Jan back when they tried to break them up.

"Boo says, Karis must solve this problem. Boo trusts Karis' judgment."

They seemed to accept this and sat down again, although they were both still very agitated

Karis savagely swung Namarra at Valygar's lower arm, making a deep wound. Valygar hissed in pain and the Katana flew from his hands. Then Karis kicked the fallen Katana back to Valygar, all the while pointing the Blade of the Roses at Valygar's throat, and Namarra at the Copper Coronet's exit. For a moment, it seemed that Valygar would take another swing at Karis, but then he softened his expression, muttered a few words to Karis and then slowly walked to the door.

Nalia let out a breath, she didn't even realize she was holding. "What did he say, Jan?"

"Ummm... He thanked Karis for his help in defeating Lavok and wished he will survive Viconia's affections."

"Ah," Minsc said. "It is a sad thing a fellow brother of the woods has left."

Karis walked over to Viconia and gently put his hand on her shoulder. Viconia shrugged him off angrily and sat down at a nearby table, where Karis and Viconia continued to talk.

"She's angry. She said she could have taken Valygar on her own." Jan said.

"Well," Nalia started. "I can't say I'm very sorry to see him go. He wouldn't even talk to me just because I'm a mage. Sometimes, I think he would have rather killed me. Gods help me, I actually prefer Viconia over him!"

"Valy never let me finish my finer stories, either. Vicky would certainly have..."

"Oh, come on! Didn't you notice all the death-threats flying around when you tell a story!"

"Nah, she doesn't mean that! She just has the remarkable talent to pick the most humorless of people to use her quips on! I once had an aunt like that, you know..."

Nalia sighed. "Jan, we don't have time..."

"Oh sure we have, Nali. My aunty Margriet was a tavern-owner in Neverwinter. She always had a fast service and an even faster mouth. She might have been short, even for a gnome, but she was as brave as any tall-folk. Took no guff from no one, you know."

"What does this have to do with Vico..."

"Oh, that will be clear in a moment. She was always challenging the barflies with tough-talk. No sentence, without an insult, I can tell you that! Until one sad day, she ticked off the wrong patron, a green dragon, disguised as a travelling used-chariot salesman. Let me tell you this, Nali. Never insult a dragon's new shoes, or one day, you'll wake up owning a tavern and the other day, you'll wake up owning a pile of loose boards. Never got her down, though. She's an au-pair now for some Waterhavian hob-nobs, teaching a new generation of nobles how to swear like dockworkers!"

"The point being, Jan?"

"Well, Vicky says things she doesn't really mean to people who will think she does mean what she says."

"Like that remark about taking Aerie underground and teach her the ways of the dark goddess?"

"Yeah, exactly! Whatever happened to Aerie anyway?"

"I think she went back to the circus."

"Then there was Keldy... Ole Kary sent him on his way, when he threated to kill Vicky."

"Well, I think that pompeous paladin would rather be with his family anyway..."

"Then there was Ano, who was putting the moves on Vicky..."

"Ummm, jealousy, right?"

"Yep... Kary sent him on his way as well."

"What about Jaheira?"

"She left on her own."


"More jealous than a rotten turnip lying under a stand filled with fresh ones, Nali... Couldn't stand to see Kary and Vicky together."


"Trust me on that one, dearrie!"

In the meantime, Nalia noticed Viconia and Karis were sitting very close to each other, now talking quietly.

"Minsc, you've known Viconia and Karis longer than the both of us. Has this sort of thing ever happened before?" Nalia asked.

Minsc looked up from his meal. "Welllll, Boo says Viconia and Jaheira were never really friends. But D-D-Dynaheir liked Viconia, so so does Minsc!" He said firmly.

"But were there others who were sent away, in Baldur's Gate?" Nalia asked again.

"Welllll," Minsc continued. "There was brother of the woods Kivan... The paladin-warrior Ajantis... And then there was Xan..."

"These were all sent away because of Vicky?" Jan said. "Hmmm, good thing the three of us get along with her nicely, eh, or we'd be out of a job!"

"I wonder who our new sixth member will be then?" Nalia wondered.

"How about Yoshi, Nali?" Jan asked.

"Ugh. I don't trust him! Too shifty!"

"Korgan then?"

"He kept staring at my butt!"



"Well, we're bound for Imnesvale tomorrow. Maybe we'll find someone there!" Jan said hopefully.

"If he or she is more tolerant than Valygar, that is." Nalia said.

"Ah, it's not Vicky's fault Valygar can't take a joke!" Jan said.

Then they noticed Viconia and Karis were slowly walking to their room.

"Ah, they're probably gonna make up now," Jan said with a sly wink. "Nali, wanna go upstairs and peek through the keyhole? They're both pretty agile... Let's see what they come up with!"

Nalia's face turned bright red. "Jan, you CAD! You can't do that!"

"The job of kindly heroes is to give evil a butt-kicking, not to play peeping-tom," Minsc began. "Minsc and Boo will guard their friends' door, so Tiny will not see." A squeek of agreement came out of his pocket.

As Minsc got up from his seat, while Jan followed him and pleaded his case.

"Come on now, Minsc! Aren't you the least bit curious?!"

"Welllll, maybe... But kindly heroes, do not peek!"

"You don't have to peek yourself, Minsc! You can let Boo crawl under the door and get him to report back!"

"No, Tiny! What if Darker Elf throws her boot at Boo again! He'll be squished!"

"Aw, you're a ranger, you can heal him again!"

"Minsc says NO, Tiny!"

Nalia sighed and shook her head as she watched her friends go up the stairs. She decided to order another cup of Evermead and wondered what kind of person would be the elusive sixth party-member.

I wrote this story, based on a conversation in BG2 with Oriana in the Government Squire, where Valygar suddenly attacked Viconia! Of course I had to slaughter him. (can't let him kill her now, can I.) But this is a nicer way of dealing with him, I think.
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!


"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

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