Cards Reshuffled

Sometimes, mere words aren’t enough to provide the help you wish to give. Fortunately there are other ways of offering comfort, and sometimes just being there is enough.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

Something was wrong. Something was very much, and very horribly wrong. At first Edwin didn’t realize exactly what it was. The spell had worked; he had felt the magic rushing through him, subtly altering his body on the way. But…why did he suddenly seem to be shorter than normal by at least five inches? The spell wasn’t supposed to do that! He coughed in the smoke surrounding him, trying to wave it away. My voice! What happened to my voice?

Finally the smoke cleared, and he saw Zaerini staring at him, her golden eyes almost as wide as teacups. Then she made a horrified sound that was something between a scream and a choke. By now feeling very worried, Edwin raised his hands in order to show her that he was all right. Then he froze. My hands! What happened to my hands? His hands were still fairly slim, with long fingers, but they looked…smaller than before. More delicate. And they were almost engulfed by the sleeves of his robe, which by the way was feeling very awkward all of a sudden. Loose in some places, tight in others, particularly across the…chest…

Edwin looked down. Then he felt horror tightening his throat like an iron band, hardly allowing him to draw breath at all. How…how did those get there? No! This can’t be! It’s some sort of horrible nightmare! Mirror…I need a mirror, right now!

There was a full-length mirror hanging on the wall, one with a highly ornate gilded wooden frame, decorated with giggling cherubs and bunches of grapes and bananas. Edwin had of course fallen completely in love with it the moment he saw it, it was what had made him pick this room out in the first place, out of the ones the trolls hadn’t destroyed. Now he staggered over towards the mirror, a process made difficult by the fact that his legs were shorter than he was used to, and that his elbows seemed to work differently. Not to mention that the…the things…felt as if they were about to make him topple forward at any given moment. He stood before the mirror for a few seconds, his eyes closed, hoping that the nightmare would go away on its own. Then he opened them. Then he stared into the mirror, feeling utter despair descend upon him like a wet, warm blanket.

There could be no mistaking the fact that the creature staring despondently back at him from the mirror was all woman. She had dark brown hair and eyes, close to black, and the hair was long and thick, reaching all the way to the small of her back. A thick fringe partially obscured her worriedly furrowed eyebrows, and the full red lips were trembling visibly. Her face was the snowy white of severe shock. The golden chain connecting her nosering to her earring only served to bring out the smoothness of her skin, and the ruby amulet at her throat dangled tantalizingly close to her cleavage. And what a cleavage it was…the mage robe Edwin had been wearing had actually torn a little under the sudden strain in the upper levels, proudly displaying pale flesh here and there. From what else could be seen, the woman’s hips were similarly curvy. No wonder it had been difficult to walk.

Edwin tentatively touched the mirror image, and winced as the woman in the mirror did the same. It was useless to try to deny it any longer. He was no longer a he. Hold on a moment…that means I no longer have…no! Nooooooo! “This is bad,” she said, her voice trembling just a little bit, and now she could clearly hear what she had missed before, the voice was altogether feminine.

Zaerini was coming up behind her now, and it was extremely odd to realize that the half-elf was much closer to her in length now. “Edwin?” the bard said, putting her hand gently on the wizard’s shoulder. “Edwin, can you fix this?”

Of course! Of course! It must be possible to dispel this hideous curse somehow! Quickly, before…

“Wow!” Jan said, crawling out from under the bed. “Getting in touch with your feminine side, Red?”

Before that infernal gnome notices me. Arrrgh! As if the indignity wasn’t great enough! “No, I’m not,” the transformed wizard snapped. “This is a temporary inconvenience, nothing more. I will soon have it sorted out, just you wait and see.”

“You’re entirely sure you want to do that? Why, that brings my Uncle Magnus Jansen to mind, and that time when he accidentally turned himself into an ornamental fishpond. Nothing we tried would turn him back, but at least he had always liked carps, and he did provide the family with food far better than he had previously, so we think he’s quite happy by now. Well, unless you clog his drain of course.”

“I may not be a fish pond,” Edwin snarled, “but I have no intention of staying like this, fish or no fish. (And the first person who tries to ‘clog my drain’ will find themselves missing the greater part of their chest cavity.)” She tried to cross her arms across her chest, a task that proved surprisingly difficult considering the newly increased radius of said chest.

Jaheira was laughing openly by now. “Why Edwin,” she said, “You look as though you chafe within your very skin. Oh, wait. That is because you are chafing within your very skin. How thoughtless of me to remind you.”

Edwin felt her mouth opening and closing a few times. She normally would be able to come up with an insult to fit every conceivable situation, but the shock, horror and humiliation was still weighing heavily on her mind. “I will not suffer your taunts, woman!” she spat out. “I despise this form, and you know it fully well!”

The druid’s eyes were practically sparkling with mirth by now. “That I do, pretty, pretty Edwin. That I do.”

“All right,” Zaerini said, putting her arm about the wizard’s shoulder and holding her tightly. Not even the sensation of fiery red hair brushing Edwin’s neck was enough to create more than a brief and highly confusing stirring sensation though. “That’s enough. Edwin? Is there anything in the Scroll about undoing the spell? Or do you have any other spell you could try?” Her gentle smile made that odd feeling increase in intensity. “Jaheira is right in that you do look pretty, but I would much prefer the regular brand Edwin. I’ve got used to him.”

Some time later, Edwin was getting gradually more and more desperate. She had tried every spell she could think of, but nothing worked. She had tried to find a counter spell in the Nether Scroll – again nothing. Right now she was reading through it for the tenth time, eyes aching in the search for something, anything that might help. And that’s the only reason they’re aching! The only one!

“Edwin, you need a break,” Zaerini finally said. The bard sounded almost as exhausted as Edwin felt. Her face was pale, and her shoulders slumped tiredly. My fault. She needed her sleep, it was me who dragged her here in order to witness my triumph. Some triumph.

“No!” The wizard’s voice was a passionate cry of denial. “I can do this! There has to be a way! There has to be something!”

“You’re in shock, and you’re exhausted. I can see you shaking from here. If you go on like this, you’re likely to hurt yourself even worse.” The half-elf firmly guided Edwin to the bed, then sat down next to her. “Jan…Jaheira…leave us alone, would you? I need to talk to Edwin privately.”

“But what about my bed?” Jan asked. “Where do I sleep?”

“With Jaheira?” Zaerini shook her head as she saw the expression on Jaheira’s face. “No, I guess not. Tell you what, Nalia said earlier that the bedroom next to mine and Jaheira’s was in good order. We only shared because we wanted the company. You can take that room.”

Edwin sat on the bed, staring dazedly at her own hands. So small…She was only vaguely aware of the voices surrounding her. Her hair, suddenly far longer than before, was hanging forward, obscuring her face like a dark curtain.

“Are you sure about this, child? Will you be all right?”

“Yes, I will. But she won’t be, not alone. You’re sure there’s nothing you can do?”

“No,” the druid said. “I have got enough of a sense of her now. There is nothing to get hold of, it is a curse that changes everything about the person, down to the tiniest bits. It cannot be simply dispelled. I do not know if it can be dispelled at all.”

Deep sigh. “I see…thanks anyway. I know you tried your best. I’ll talk to you in the morning…”

Footsteps across the floor. She was kneeling by the bed now; her scent was sweet, a little spicy. Edwin could feel a hand on her knee, and another one was pushing the hair away from her face. She tried to avoid the…other woman’s…gaze, feeling too ashamed and humiliated to look at her. Still, there the hand was again, cupping her chin, gently tilting her face upwards. She tried to keep her face under control, but could feel her resolve crumbling as a pair of large and golden eyes looked into hers, filled with a combination of love, compassion, and worry. “Oh Eddie…” Zaerini sighed. “What a mess, eh? But we’ll make it all right, I promise. Somehow, we’ll get you back to normal.”

“Of course,” Edwin said, trying to sound confident. “I am an extremely powerful wizard after all, it shouldn’t take me too long to dispel some minor curse like this one.” Then she happened to look down at herself again. Maybe not so minor after all.

“Of course it won’t,” Zaerini said. She had moved onto the bed now, and was still stroking the wizard’s hair, much like you might soothe a skittish animal. “And I’ll help in any way I can, you know that.”

“You will?” That hand felt very nice. Edwin allowed herself to lean just a little closer to the half-elf, close enough to feel the heat of another body against her own. It felt…odd. Her own body was curved where it should have been angular, soft where it should have been hard. Still pleasant though, no question of that.

“Yes, I will.” The bard smiled briefly. “But not until tomorrow. You’re exhausted, you need some sleep. So do I, for that matter. So I’m staying right here to make certain you’re all right. Or as much ‘all right’ as you can be, under the circumstances.”

“I am not some helpless infant! I can take care of myself!”

“Normally, yeah, sure. But suppose the curse does something else to you? Suppose it makes you throw yourself out the window or something? No, like I said I’ll stay here.” The redhead suddenly noticed something on the floor. “Oh, and it looks like somebody else will as well!”

Edwin couldn’t help smiling a little as a tiny fluffy monkey was deposited in her palm.

Don’t worry, boss! Insufferable said. The pretty cat lady is right; you’ll get back to normal somehow. I’ll help too! And in the meantime, you’ll be sharing a room with her!

I suppose so…but it isn’t quite the way I had envisioned it.

But it’s a start anyway! Say, if you get the chance, try to show her your genitals, that’s how monkeys show they’re interested.

I can’t do that!

Why not?

It may have escaped your tiny and perverted brain, but humans are not monkeys. If I were to do that, I could get arrested. Some more subtlety is in order. Besides she’d most likely punch my teeth out. Not to mention that my equipment is currently of the wrong kind.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. Well, enjoy your sleep then, boss. I’m right with ya.

Thank you. I think.

“What did he say?” Zaerini asked.

Edwin could feel a slow blush creeping up her throat and into her cheeks, as well as across her…bosom. “Er…he…he offered to help. And made some…suggestions.”

“Oh. That’s sweet of him.”

“Yes…er…very. Very...sweet. Now, you mentioned sleep…”

Five minutes later Edwin found herself in bed, minus her shoes and robe. Fortunately she still had her shirt and undergarments on, though they didn’t fit very well. Only an hour ago, she would have been only too happy to tear them off in the company of the half-elf, but now she felt reluctant. I don’t want her to see me like this. Not like this.

If the bard noticed this, she didn’t comment. She was only wearing a shirt and a pair of loose pants herself, and Edwin noticed that despite the simplicity of the garments they showed off her body in a very flattering way. And then the other woman was sliding into bed, and there was a slim body next to her, hot and highly appealing, and soft hair tickling her nose. She wanted to reach out, but she was in the wrong body, with several important bits missing, and it didn’t feel right. I want her…I want her so badly. But in my own body. She deserves no less. “I don’t…” she started to say, meaning to ask the half-elf to leave, but then there were a pair of arms holding her tightly, and she suddenly knew she didn’t want to be alone at all. No, not at all.

Edwin drew a deep and shuddering breath, burying her face against an attractively rounded shoulder, and there was the excitement, but most of all there was comfort. Arms holding her tightly, rocking her, a hand tangling in her hair once again, stroking it.

“Sssshhh…it’ll be fine. It will be. I promise.”

Edwin sighed, finally drifting off into an uneasy slumber. She just barely had time for a final conscious thought. It’s the strain. That’s why my eyes hurt…the strain and the stress. But with her, everything feels better. Even this.