Cards Reshuffled

It’s really terrible when somebody you care about does something you know is most likely a very bad idea, and you aren’t able to stop them. And it’s even more terrible when despite prior experiences they insist on leaping before looking. Sometimes it may only cause a minor mess, but sometimes it will cause the equivalent of accidentally insulting your mother-in-law’s interior decorating. Major disaster, that is. As I should know.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

Zaerini was having trouble sleeping that night. Dark thoughts kept intruding on her, thoughts fueled by her memories of her latest Reading. Child of Murder…will bring murder and death upon all you touch, without even trying. No…no…I won’t have that! I won’t! It wasn’t me who killed Nalia’s father…it wasn’t me who killed Khalid and Dynaheir!

She tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, but in vain. Then she suddenly heard a quiet moan coming from the other bed of the room. It seemed Jaheira’s sleep was uneasy too. The druid turned over in her sleep, golden-brown hair looking almost black in the faint moonlight drifting in through the windows, tangled with sweat. Her eyes were closed, but there was a frown of distress on her face. “No…” she murmured. “No…”

For a few moments the bard hesitated, but then Jaheira spoke in her sleep again. Or rather, she screamed, a terrible sound of a soul in anguish. “Aaaaaaghhh! No! Khalid! NOOOO!” She was sitting straight up in bed now, struggling to get free of her bedclothes, and her eyes were wide and confused, almost mad. Rini ran over to her without thinking, putting her arms around the older woman.

“Jaheira? Jaheira, wake up! It was only a dream!”

For a few moments the druid simply stared blankly at her, and then recognition finally crept into the green eyes. “Child…what…”

“You were having a nightmare. A really bad one, from the sound of it.” Zaerini cleared her throat a little embarrassedly. “Wanna talk about it? I know that often helps when I have nightmares…”

Jaheira hesitated a few seconds, but then she nodded. “I…suppose that might be a good idea. I dreamt of…of Khalid. I thought he was here, with me. That he was with me. You understand?”

“Oh! Yeah…I see.”

“And then something changed. I reached out to touch him, and his skin was cold. I moved to…to kiss him, and his face was…was…” Jaheira broke off, looking away for a few seconds, and when she spoke again her voice was deeply strained. “He was as he was when we…found him in Irenicus’ dungeon. And I knew…I suddenly knew that he had been dead all along. I think I screamed then, and I could hear my own voice, but it sounded like his voice. Irenicus’ voice, laughing at me, at my grief.”

Rini chewed on a strand of her hair, deep in thought. “I don’t think he ever did that,” she said. “He never seemed to take pleasure in all the awful things he did…that made him even scarier. I have no idea why he did what he did…but he was no Mae’Var, I know that much.”

“It makes no difference,” Jaheira said, sounding flinty. She was hugging herself tightly, as if to comfort herself, but her face was determined. “Whatever his reasons, whatever his purpose, he will die.”

“I hope so…but I still wanna find out why. Should be easier to find him if we understand him better…and I think it would feel better too. Not knowing why somehow makes it all worse. And I think…” The bard suddenly broke off. She had heard something…a tiny noise as of some small animal running across the floor. Then there was a hiss, a black streak across the floor, and a thump.

Got him! Softpaws triumphantly said.

Got what?

Then there was a second mental voice intruding on Rini’s thoughts, one that sounded very peeved. Hey, kitty! Leggo!

The half-elf only had time to groan silently to herself before her familiar leapt onto Jaheira’s bed, carrying a tiny fluffy monkey by the scruff of its neck. He was trying to sneak in here, the cat said. Can I eat him? Just a little bit?

No, you can’t! Give him here!

The cat looked rather reluctant, but she finally spat out Insufferable, who landed on Zaerini’s lap, staring up at her with a fascinated expression on his small and wrinkled face. Woooo! Nice view!

It took the half-elf a few seconds to process this, and then she realized that she was wearing nothing but her shift. A very thin one, since the weather was hot, and one that clung to her body in lots of interesting places. So was Jaheira, for that matter. Insufferable? What are you doing here? There’s…there’s nothing wrong with Eddie, is there?

Huh? The monkey sounded rather distracted, and kept staring at her, grinning widely. Whuzzat?

I said, there’s nothing wrong with Eddie, is there?

Nooo…he’s fine…he says to ask…um…could you bend forward just a little bit more?

What?

I mean, the boss said to fetch you right now! It’s very important!

What is?

The monkey shrugged, using all four legs to do so. Oh, it’s something he wants to show you, I think. He’s too excited to be very clear about it. Hold on a moment, he’s saying something…he says you don’t have to bother to get dressed.

WHAT?

Ooops…I wasn’t supposed to repeat that, it seems. OK, major embarrassment, just forget you heard that. Oh darn, now he’s swearing at me for having a big mouth. Huh, talk about the pot calling the kettle black, right?

Hang on…he’s talking to you…is he watching this as well? Through the familiar link?

Er…

Thank you. Zaerini got off the bed, then pulled her own sheet about her with great dignity, or as much dignity as she could muster considering that she was certain the monkey was staring at her from behind.

Ooops…now he’s cursing me even worse. Ouch.

Yeah, well, tough luck. If he wants to spy on me, he can damn well do it with his own eyes.

Softpaws snorted a little at this. Hypocrite.

No I’m not! I never asked you to peep in on him, you did that on your own.

“Child?” Jaheira said, looking puzzled. “What are you doing?”

“Oh…Eddie wants to see me about something important, apparently.”

The druid gave a short bark of laughter. “I am sure he does. In that case, I will be coming with you.”

Rini shrugged, and then she smiled naughtily. “All right, if you want to. But you probably want to get dressed first. Right now, actually. I think Insufferable is more interested in me, but you do know that Eddie can see everything he does, don’t you?”

Jaheria’s face froze in mid-motion, and then she very slowly and deliberately picked her tunic up and threw it over the monkey sitting on her bed. “Well,” she said. “I hope he enjoys watching dirty laundry.”

Hey, you’re not mad at me, are you? Insufferable asked. You can’t be mad at me, I’m far too cute and fluffy for that…

Once the two half-elves reached the room that Edwin shared with Jan, they found the door unlocked, and as they pulled it open they stopped dead, staring in surprise at the sight that met them. The furniture had all been pulled back along the walls, and Edwin was on his hands and knees in the middle of the floor, drawing a highly intricate and complex circle and pentagram on the floor with red chalk. Rini wondered if it would be possible to wash it out when he was done, and whether he had asked Nalia’s permission first. No, this is Edwin. Of course he hasn’t.

Edwin was muttering quietly to himself as he drew a long series of runes outside the circle, reciting something from memory. As he noticed the two women he started guiltily and dropped the chalk.

“Hi Eddie,” Zaerini said in a bland voice, shaking out Jaheira’s tunic. “I think you were looking for this, weren’t you?” Insufferable dropped onto the floor, winked at the bard and then scampered up his master’s arm to climb on top of the wizard’s head, holding onto his dark hair.

“Ah…” Edwin said. “I…thought it would be more polite to send him to fetch you, less intrusive and…that is…(Curses! Why does this have to be so difficult? And why did that blasted druid have to come along?)”

“Less intrusive,” Jaheira said, raising her eyebrow. “What an interesting choice of words.”

“You know…” Rini said, making her eyes go a little distant, “some nights I sleep in the nude.” Then she laughed out loud as the wizard coughed violently, going quite red in the face. “Oh Eddie. Did you really fall for that one?”

“Of course not! And I have no idea what you are talking about! (I wonder if she might be telling the truth though?)”

“So, what was it you wanted to show me? And where’s Jan?”

“Right here!” said Jan’s voice from under one of the beds. “And you should be in here too, once Red gets going he’s likely to blow himself up and take you all with him. Just like my Uncle Bertram when he experimented with Expanding Turnip Pills. Just one small pill and it’d keep you from hunger all day. Unfortunately, he overdosed, and ate the equivalent of ten tons of turnips at once. Bits of him could be found as far away as Tethyr, and I hear his boot landed on a small island in the ocean, where it came to be worshipped as a god by a tribe of miniature podiatrists. It’s a sad thing when your footwear gets more famous than you do, isn’t it?”

“Silence, ignorant fool!” Edwin haughtily stated. “You speak of what you would not understand if you studied the Art for a hundred years.”

“Say, Red? When you blow up, can I have your scroll case? It’s a really nice one.”

“No! And I will not blow up!” The annoyed wizard turned towards Zaerini. “I have done it!” he said, his eyes gleaming with feverish excitement, and his cheeks flushed. “I have deciphered a key part of the Nether Scroll, and I know exactly what it will do! (Well, more or less, but it should suffice. Yes. I’m sure it will. A genius is capable of improvising if necessary.)

“So…what does it do?”

“Aha!” Edwin said, taking her arm and magnanimously guiding her further into the room, gesturing for her to sit on the couch by the window. Jaheira followed, smirking a little. “I will explain. It is not unlike the transformation of mage to lich…but it is more…much more!”

“LICH?” Rini almost screamed, leaping to her feet and grasping the wizard by the collar of his robe, glaring into his face. “You want to turn yourself into a lich? A rotting, undead corpse? ARE YOU TOTALLY INSANE?”

“Do you want me to answer that?” Jaheira murmured.

“Not a lich,” Edwin reassured the livid bard, gently taking hold of her hands to disentangle himself. He didn’t let go of them afterwards either. “That wouldn’t be nearly as powerful enough. (And I don’t think she would be very attracted to one either. Not to mention that important bits might drop off at a crucial moment…) No, but it will give me one of the powers of a lich, real immortality! Eternal youth, just wait and see!”

“I don’t know,” Zaerini said. She had great faith in Edwin’s capabilities as a mage, but this worried her badly. “I don’t like it. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Oh yes! Just a few minor kinks to work out, but I have it well in hand.”

“Maybe…but it’s dangerous to use spells if you don’t know exactly what they do, you know that!”

Edwin simply grinned at her, looking extremely boyish. “My, now you sound exactly like…er…never mind. Do not worry, Hellkitten. I have it all figured out, as you will soon see. Now, you just sit down over there, and prepare to be amazed by the awesome cosmic powers of Edwin Odesseiron and his Nether Scroll!”

Having hesitated for a few seconds, Zaerini finally sat down next to Jaheira on the designated couch. There’s no arguing with him when he’s in this mood. And I don’t see how I could stop him, short of knocking him unconscious, and he’d never forgive me for that. I just hope he knows what he’s doing…

The spell was a long and complicated one, and Edwin recited it with a look of intense concentration on his face, totally absorbed in what he was doing. Rini kept watching, anxiously chewing on her nails, her heart in her mouth. Finally, there was a bright light as the wizard’s voice rose in volume, and then a large cloud of purple smoke rose from the pentagram he was standing in, enveloping him totally. Total silence followed, ominous silence. Silence that made her able to hear every beat of her heart, as she anxiously got off the couch, trying to wave the smoke again. “Eddie? Are you in there?”

There was a cough from within the smoke, but it sounded…odd somehow. Not quite like the wizard’s normal voice.

“Edwin?” Zaerini repeated. “Are you all right?” Then the smoke cleared. Her eyes fell upon the wizard standing within the pentagram, she could feel her mouth dropping open, and as if from a distance she could hear her own voice uttering a half-strangled scream.