Cards Reshuffled

If something seems too good to be true, it very frequently is. Of course, people are usually very good at deluding themselves and seeing only what they want to see, about themselves or others. Not surprising. After all, who would like to admit that they’re a bit of a snob? Or even worse, a conceited idiot?

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

Strangely enough, it was getting hotter. Nalia fidgeted uncomfortably with the collar of her dress, trying not to squirm too obviously. Squirming certainly wasn’t the done thing. And yet…it was hard to resist. How can it be so hot? The Keep is never like this, even in the middle of summer its walls keep the worst of the heat out. In order to try to distract herself she surreptitiously studied her companions as they carefully made their way through the castle.

Zaerini was walking a little to the front of Nalia, stepping lightly in a way that the sturdier human girl envied. The half-elf looked a little preoccupied, and more serious than usual, as if she was thinking about something not all that pleasant. Should I ask what it is? Offer to help, maybe? But something stopped her. She had already learnt that despite her seemingly open and outgoing nature, and her wit and ready smiles, the bard kept her secrets close and did not appreciate too probing questions. Especially not about her past. I really don’t see why it should bother her so. It’s not as if I hold it against her that she’s a commoner or anything! She certainly can’t help it if she’s lowborn. And I was trying to be encouraging when I told her that she’s very fair-spoken for a member of the lower classes! There was certainly no need to bite my head off over that, it’s not as if I had insulted her. Still, Nalia had learnt that the other woman could be kind as well, despite her confusing bouts of hot temper. I wonder if maybe I should ask her if she could help teach me a little about music once this is all settled? And about taking from the rich and giving to the poor, I’m sure she’s very skilled at that, and music lessons would keep Auntie Delcia from interfering.

It was a bit funny…Zaerini wasn’t that many years older than herself, Nalia was certain of that, but she felt older, in some indefinable way. Maybe it was the way those golden eyes would suddenly fix on you, hot and piercing one moment, cool and feline the next, as changing as the bard’s mercurial temper. There was something about her…something that was fascinating, but a bit frightening as well, to tell the truth, something that said it would be a bad idea to make her really angry with you. Nonsense! What is there to be frightened of? She is only a girl like me. No…not exactly like me. She has seen so much more…I wish I could travel like that, always on the move, free as a bird, sleeping beneath the…no. Maybe not sleeping beneath an open sky, that is overrated. But roaming around fighting injustice and helping the poor…that would be wonderful! And I’m sure she wouldn’t put up with Isaea either.

Dabbing at her neck with her handkerchief, Nalia turned her eyes towards the next member of the party. Minsc was walking close by his ‘witch’, to quote the quaint word he was fond of using, explaining something to her about his pet hamster’s opinion on the sweltering heat. Such an odd fellow…he has a good heart of course, but he is a bit…rustic. And very fond of speaking of things in terms of the violent prodding of…of the lower back. Still, he means well, and it isn’t fair to expect more of him than that.

Then there was Jaheira. The druid was currently in the front of the party, just ahead of Minsc. A strange woman. Tethyrian nobility, I believe the priest said? No wonder she is grim…so few of them survived. But you simply cannot oppress the peasants for years and not expect them to revolt. Nalia wondered if perhaps she should share her opinions on this with the druid, in order to help her get over her past, but perhaps this was not the best time. Also, Jaheira tended to glare at her whenever she came to close.

Right next to Jaheira was Jan, and the odd little gnome simply defied being categorized as anything in Nalia’s mind, except perhaps ‘pure insanity’. From the set of Jaheira’s shoulders as Jan began yet another lengthy story, it seemed the half-elf might share this opinion.

Edwin walked to Nalia’s left and a little behind her, his eyes firmly fixed on Zaerini whenever he thought nobody was watching. Nalia did have some training in the art of thievery though, and that involved paying attention. It was clear as crystal that the sarcastic wizard was paying far more attention to their party leader than could be explained by professional interest. And that’s really very romantic! Love across class borders…just like a song. He’s nobility after all, and from what I’ve heard the Red Wizards take that sort of thing very seriously.

What was also interesting was that the other young nobleman of the party seemed to be engaged in the very same pursuit. Nalia didn’t think she’d ever met any of the Delryns, though she could remember her Aunt mentioning the current Lord Delryn at some point. ‘A most uncouth brute of a man. Not our sort at all, really very common.’ When Auntie Delcia said ‘very common’ with that particular sneer in her mouth and her nose tilted into the air just so, it could be roughly translated into ‘Scum of the earth, defiler of the air he breathes and kicker of puppies’. Nalia didn’t think she really wanted to meet Lord Cor, though Anomen didn’t seem too bad a sort. Stuck up about being a noble of course, and a bit bratty, but not creepy the way Isaea was.

“Say, Nalia?” Zaerini suddenly said. “Is this place usually this hot? It’s like a tropical jungle in here.”

“No,” Nalia replied, shaking her head so the blue beads she had braided into it danced against her cheeks. “No, it isn’t. I can’t understand it myself.”

“Hold on a moment,” Edwin said, his accented voice sounding tense and excited. “Tropical jungle…of course! It all makes sense! (Yes, my masterful powers of deduction celebrate yet another triumph!)”

“What does?” Jaheira asked. “Speak and be done with it!”

“I’m amazed you didn’t think of it yourself, druid,” the wizard sneered. “Can it be that you’re a bit out of touch with the natural world? Did you chew a few too many interesting-looking mushrooms and finally turn what little brain you had into slush?”

“Eddie…” Zaerini said in a voice that was calm, but somehow still carried a faint warning with it. “Just spit it out, all right? What do you mean?”

“Well,” Edwin said, puffing his chest out a little, “as you know I am an unsurpassed sage when it comes to monsters both magical and mythical. Do you remember that I told you that Yuan-Ti live in tropical climes? And that they usually have some fairly skilled spellcasters among their number? It makes perfect sense that they would try to change this environment to better resemble their regular habitat. (Now, if only they had introduced a few tigers as well, I could convince the Helmite to feed them…)”

“So,” Zaerini said, “are you saying that we’re heading straight into…”

There was a loud and dry hissing sound in front of them, just around the corner. This was followed by an equally loud one, even more unpleasant since it came from right behind them. It was accompanied by the dry and raspy sound of scales slithering across a stone floor.“…a trap,” the bard finished.

“Yes, as I said they are quite fond of setting traps.”

“I know you said that,” Zaerini sighed. “I just wish we could have done without the practical demonstration, is all.”

Meanwhile…

Aerie smiled sweetly as she studied her prey from a distance. She had first noticed the young Lord Logum Eckel the previous morning, and by now she was certain that he was perfect for her purposes. All that remained to do was to wait for the right moment to make her move.

The young lord Logum was currently sitting on one of the marble benches of the Government District park, surrounded by a small crowd of hangers-on of similar age and station. He was a tall and somewhat gangly young man, with pale blue eyes that bulged a bit, especially when he got excited about something. His dark brown hair was already starting to recede from his forehead, something that he attempted to hide by means of an intricate combination-system of combing and hair wax. He also had a habit of disdainfully pushing his lower lip forward, something he was under the impression made him look intellectual. In reality, it made him look like an overgrown baby in the process of making a mess in his nappies. “Sooo,” he said, his nasally whining voice grating in the Avariel’s sensitive ears, “it should be obvious to anybody with anything even remotely resembling a trained intellect that I am correct in this. What any real woman wants is guidance, when it really comes down to it. A benevolent and intelligent lord and master, somebody who will cause her full potential to blossom, somebody who will guide and nurture her and instruct her in proper behavior. With kindness at times, with harsh words if that is what it takes. Why, a man of my intellectual capacity and far-above-average insight into human nature could take any poor waif off the street and transform her into a grand lady any of you would be proud to court.”

“Yes, so you say,” one of the other youths said, grinning at his fellows without Logum noticing, “but can you prove it?”

“Of course I can prove it! My statements are not idle; I am a man of science after all, unlike the rest of you oafs. I happen to have read a lot about what people are really like. And I will prove my skills to you. We will find a proper subject, and before the month is out I will have molded her into exactly what I choose. As I said, I can take the lowest, most bumbling and naïve little fool possible and in one month’s time I will be able to present her at any court, as a Duchess no less.”

Oh, this is almost too perfect to be true, Aerie thought. That young fop has less brains than a fly, and more conceit than a peacock. Exactly what I was looking for. Yes, somebody will get ‘molded’ all right…once I’m done with him he’ll be putty in my hands. And he’ll help provide me with the perfect power base. Just you wait Logum Eckel, just you wait…

“Well,” one of the other young nobles said, “you do talk very impressively, Logum, but girls of the kind you want don’t grow on trees, exactly. If you find a total innocent, a blank sheet to write on, she’ll be one of those girls who has led a very sheltered life, protected by her family, and they won’t be likely to let her out of their sight.”

“Idiot! Fool! How dare you contradict me when I have set off my precious time in order to instruct you in human nature? I will prove it to you, I say, and I will find the proper girl. You will see.”

I believe that would be my cue, Aerie thought. She gathered her plain but pretty light blue dress into her hands, creating the proper timid look, hastily mussed her hair up and then kicked one of her shoes under a bush. Taking a few deep breaths she settled her face into an expression of mind-numbing shock and then rushed out from behind the tree where she had been concealed, running towards the small group of noblemen. She took special care to pretend to be so upset that she didn’t really notice them, and when she was right in front of them she made herself stumble and fall. He had better catch me now, or he’ll get one lash of the whip for every bruise I get. Come to think of it, he’ll get that anyway once the time comes, just because I want to.

Then she found her fall stopped, a pair of arms holding her, and she knew that she had aimed well and true. Cheeks flushed, her pink lips open in a shocked ‘O’, she looked up into the pimpled face of young Lord Logum as she lay across his lap. “Oh!” she squealed, putting her hand across her mouth and lowering her eyes shyly. “Oh…I…I am s-so sorry! I d-didn’t mean to…to…bother you. It was just…I was so…so u-upset…” She allowed her voice to trail off, and a few large tears trickled out of her big blue eyes. Human nature, he said. Well, judging from the way his ‘human nature’ is poking my back I’d say he’s very pleased to meet me. “I’ll…I’ll j-just go now…I’m sure I’ll…find somebody to h-help me soon.”

She made as if to rise, deliberately shifting about a little in a way that made the young lord’s eyes bulge even more than before as well as turn distinctly glassy. They weren’t the only thing that bulged either. She could hear the other young men laughing amongst each other and smiled nervously.

“Hold on a moment!” Lord Logum said, helping her to her feet. “Just who are you, young woman?”

“I…I am Aerie,” the elf said with a shy smile. “You…you seem very n-nice. Not like those m-mean and nasty people I met before. Maybe…maybe you will be my f-friend?”

“Why, who wouldn’t want to be the friend of such a fair young lady as yourself?” the noble replied, a smile on his face that he probably meant to be pleasant. The impression was a little spoilt by the way he licked his lips and wrung his hands though, and by the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

“Oh…just some b-bad people…really bad.” Aerie went on to provide the short version of her standard background story. Captured by Evil Slavers, tortured and imprisoned. Wings tragically lost. As a sacrifice for Loviatar’s favor. Poor Uncle Quayle sadly departed from this world of woes. With a little help from yours truly. Taken away from the circus that had been her safety and refuge by a group of adventurers whom she had thought would help and protect her, but who turned out to be as bad as the slavers. The descriptions she provided of Zaerini’s party were brief, and very unflattering. She had several of the nobles in tears. “And…and then I r-ran away,” she finished, summoning up a few more tears. “But…but I don’t know where to go! There is no p-place for me at the circus anymore…and…and I have no h-home and nobody to…to look after me with my Uncle Quayle gone. I…I thought those people would help me, but they didn’t. They…they all seemed to hate me, and…and I only ever t-tried to be kind and good to them! How…how can p-people be so cruel? Why…why would they hate me so?” Honestly, if I really were this idiotic and simpering little idiot I would hate me too.

“Obviously those people were simpletons, and cruel, heartless ones at that!” Lord Logum said, indignant red spots forming in his cheeks. “They didn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand a lovely, pure and innocent flower such as yourself. But never fear! I will take you under my wings…” He coughed embarrassedly. “I mean…under my protection, my precious little one, and under my tutelage you will soon become a fulfilled and gracious young woman, as fine a lady as you could ask for. You do have a hesitate and fearful speech, much like a bilious pigeon crooning, but just give me a few weeks with you and I will bring out your full potential. You will find me a harsh task master, but you will benefit greatly from my tutelage.”

Aerie smiled up at him through her tears, shyly offering him her small hands. “Oh, my lord…that…that is s-so kind of you. And…and you seem so clever as well…I so hoped I would find somebody like you.” Yes. I do so love an idiot, but the best kind of idiot is the kind who thinks he is very highly intelligent. He will be the first of my new thralls…and he will put me in a position where I can contact those I mean to ally with. If he serves me well enough I may even allow him to die once I am done with him. Just you wait, Logum Eckel, just you wait. You’ll be sorry…but your tears will be too late.