Cards Reshuffled

Having met all sorts of strange people, I sometimes think that the really mad ones aren't necessarily the ones that are openly insane. Those, you at least can recognise easily. It's the seemingly sane people you have to watch out for. Of course, maybe that means we're all insane, and the world is one big Asylum.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

As the door to her cell opened, Imoen was practicing walking on her hands. This served two purposes. It was something to help take her mind off her troubles, and it was also helping her get back into shape. Her stay in Irenicus’ torture dungeon had weakened her, making her muscles lose some of their tone, both from starvation and from lack of activity. So, she had decided that she’d better try to get fit again. It was going pretty well so far, though she wasn’t quite back to normal just yet. I will be though. Just you wait and see. And then…and then I’ll break out of this creepy ol’ place somehow, in a daring and madcap escape. Yup. That’s what I’ll do. Maybe I could leave a small box of chocolates and a teasing note on Coordinator Wanev’s desk as well, just like Sir Jenkal the Gentleman Thief did in that book I read. Or maybe just the note, if I had any chocolates I sure wouldn’t leave them to him. The food in this place was nourishing, but hardly tasty.

Walking along on her hands, pink hair falling into her face, Imoen pondered the concept of dashing escapes further. I bet Adahn wouldn’t leave the chocolates either, would he? No, he would probably do something even better…like leaving itching powder in stupid Wanev’s robes. Hee hee. I’d like to see that.

Imoen didn't like Wanev, the Asylum Coordinator, not one bit. Stuck-up old poopy-head. Why won't he listen to me? Anybody should be able to tell I'm not a mage. She still had no idea how she had been able to summon forth the fatal magic that had landed her in this 'Asylum for the Magically Deviant', and it annoyed her that the Cowlies didn't seem to want to believe that. No, they kept nagging, and worse. Tests. Stupid Wanev and his stupid tests. I'd like to see somebody testing him, that would serve him right. The things the Coordinator did weren't as bad as what Irenicus had done, but that didn't really say much. Nobody could be as bad as Him. Nobody in the whole world. And yet, she felt herself getting slowly better. She still had nightmares, but not as frequently, and she was feeling more and more like herself. There was at least no immediate threat here, except for boredom.

"Break time!" a voice called out directly behind her. With a startled yelp the young thief lost her balance, landing in a heap on the floor.

"Can't ya knock, Lonk?" she said, scowling at the dwarven jailer.

"What for?" the dwarf said, sounding honestly puzzled. "I am the one with the keys."

Some time later, Imoen had moved on from being bored out of her skull in her cell to being sliiiightly-less-bored-but-still-suffering in the recreation room. The inmates were allowed to mingle now and then, probably since the Cowled Wizards had realised that spending all your time staring at blank walls wouldn't make anybody get more sane. Not that the recreation room was all that much more exciting, it was almost as bare and as dull as the cells, but at least it was something. Let's see, Imoen thought. What to do, what to do, what to do…oh look! There are some people here already! Goody, I want company!

Smiling cheerfully, the girl ambled over towards the other end of the room, where two people were sitting at a small table, playing chess. One was an elderly elven mage, with silvery white hair, and a constant nervous twitch to his ears. He frowned as he stared at the chessboard, gnawing on his fingernails. "I know what you're doing…" he muttered at the opposing black chessmen. "You're plotting with them, aren't you? Aren't you? I know you, you'll be spouting fur and fangs soon, in order to distract me from my game! I know you will, bastard!" His voice turned shrill and his ears twitched even more violently than before, matched by a frenetic tic in one cheek. "Bad dog! Bad doggie! Sit! Stay! Bad dog!"

"Tiax is no dog!" the opponent indignantly declared. "His Divine Highness will smite you for that insult, any moment now, and you will suffer eternally for daring to take his Queen!" This player was a small gnome with a petulantly whiny voice and a short beard. His eyes had the look of cracked mirrors, reflecting the visions of a nightmare.

"Heya, guys!" Imoen said, tapping the elf on the shoulder. "Who's winning?"

"AAAAAAGHHHH!" the elf screamed, jumping to his feet and overturning the chessboard in the process. "Sneak attack! Werewolves, bad doggies everywhere!"

"Tiax always wins, insignificant one," the gnome said in a superior voice. "And you have interrupted his glorious conquest, begone with you!"

"Sorry," Imoen said, backing off. "I guess I forgot myself." She felt really sorry about spooking poor Dradeel, the elf was nervous enough as it was. I don't think he even remembers that I met him before. Back when me and Rini and the others travelled to that island that was all overrun by werewolves, and some of them tried to kill us and the others wanted us to become werewolves as well. I guess it's no wonder he's nervous, having lived there alone, marooned, for all those years. I didn't really mean to startle him like that. But I am getting better at sneaking, that's good!

Sighing a little, Imoen walked over to a table where some rag-dolls lay, giving them a bored look. Honestly, they expect us to spend our time playing with dollies? I haven't done that in years. Though I suppose I could always pretend one of them was Coordinator Wanev…and maybe the others want to play as well…

Five minutes later the doll that most resembled the Coordinator was looking much the worse for wear. Imoen was currently in the process of seeing how far she could stretch its neck before it gave way, and by now the seams were beginning to creak. Tiax was gleefully egging her on, but Dradeel was hiding under the table, still muttering about his werewolves. This is kinda fun, Imoen thought as she went on to toss the doll into the air, while the gnome attempted to hit it with an enchanted club. It was still possible to use magic in the Asylum, just not in any way that would attack the Cowled Wizards. Not that I'd hit him for real, but pretending never hurt anybody.

"What are you doing?" a small voice suddenly asked, and Imoen turned around to see a little blonde girl standing next to her.

"Oh!" Imoen said, smiling. "Hi, Dili! Just playing…"

"Poor dolly," the girl said, looking solemn. "Can I have him instead? I wanna play that he's my baby, and put him to bed and change his nappies…"

Imoen briefly contemplated Coordinator Wanev in nappies, being fed from a bottle. A slow grin spread across her face. "Sure, Dili," she said, handing the girl the toy. "Here you go."

"Thanks!" the girl said, smiling brightly in return. "Wanna see the some of my new faces? I'm getting kinda bored with this one. I think I'll be…you!" A brief flash of light surrounded the child, and then Imoen found herself staring at an exact copy of herself, down to the roots of her pink hair where the natural auburn was showing, and the hateful scar that crossed her right eye. She had seen Dili's tricks before, but it was eerie seeing it done with her own face. Poor kid. I can't believe her parents turned her in to the Cowlies just because she was a natural shapechanger! She's so sweet, she never harmed anybody. How can anybody do that to their own kid? Dili never talked about her parents much, only to say that they were mad at her for 'taking faces', but it was clear that she missed them. Locking a little kid up like this…it's just so unfair! I'd like to smack those Cowlies real good for it. It's even worse than what they did to me. I wonder what Rini would think…she can do this kind of thing too.

"That's nice," Imoen said, ruffling the girl's hair. It felt really odd to be ruffling the hair of your own mirror image, but she did it all the same. "Maybe something different though? Makes me feel weird to be looking at myself from the outside."

"All right," Dili agreed. "I'll be a…a doggie!" Another flash of light, and a tiny black and white puppy sat on the floor, panting, its tongue lolling out of its mouth in a silly doggy smile.

"YAAAAARRRRHHH!" Dradeel screamed, scrambling out from his hiding place under the table, and then he started rushing frantically about the room, arms waving and his eyes practically popping out of his head. "Werewolf! Werewolf! Keep it away from me! Keep it awaaaayyyy!"

"Fool!" Tiax shouted. "Tiax is plotting world domination! If you disturb his meditations again he will pop you like a ripe pimple!"

Imoen shook her head. Yep, she thought. Just another regular day in the nuthouse.

A quarter of an hour later Imoen had moved on to the 'artistry' table, where the inmates were provided with such exciting things as finger-paints and clay for sculpting. She wasn't really in the mood for painting, but she grabbed a lump of clay and idly started rolling it around in her hands. I wonder if maybe I could…yeah! I could! It would be really great too, I bet! Feeling quite excited about her idea she started sculpting from memory, giggling quietly to herself now and then. Adahn would kill me if he saw this, but it's not as if he'll ever find out or anything. And it would be so great to have a nice statue of him to keep me company. I bet that if I slept with it next to me I'd get really interesting dreams too. Now let's see…how big should I make it? Pity I can't make it life-size, but if I can smuggle it out with me when I escape I can maybe do a larger one later, based on this one. About the length of my arm should do it for now. Humming happily to herself, Imoen went on working. The statue was coming along quite nicely, she thought, though she hadn't quite been able to change the incredibly outraged look on its face into the smouldering look of hot seductiveness that she was aiming for. It still looked as if it wanted to throttle her, but it was very lifelike. "Oh, don't be difficult!" she scolded the statue. "You just wait and see, it'll look really great. I'm trying to do you justice."

She could practically hear the older rogue's voice, each word dropping like a lump of ice from his lips. Justice? That is a nude statue.

"Yup! And it looks really good too, doesn't it?"

That is beside the point. There are certain things that are not supposed to be displayed in public, and that is one of them. And so is that. How do you even know about my…anatomy anyway?

"Oh, come on! I'm not blind you know, and I can guess about the rest. And you just proved me right, so nyah!"

'Nyah'? Being very mature today, aren't we?

"Helps me have fun…" Imoen smiled a little wistfully. "You know, I miss you. You always took me seriously, ever since the first time we met. Not too many people do that. If I meet you again I promise I won't tease you too badly with this statue. I know you're taken and all that, it's just a bit of fun."

I know that.

"You do?"

Yes. That is why I haven't killed you already.

Still smiling, Imoen continued her work. Suddenly she felt eyes upon her, and turned around to see one of her fellow inmates watching what she was doing. "Are you talking to yourself?" Aphril asked. "Or with somebody that only you can see?" The wizardess had always spooked Imoen a little. She was in her forties or so, with dark brown hair and a tense, frightened face, her eyes just a little too wide and staring.

"To myself," Imoen said. "Well, pretending to be talking to a friend, really."

"I see…" Aphril said, then laughed a shrill and very unnerving little laugh. She always did that when somebody mentioned seeing. The reason why she was here was because her experiments had unhinged her, making her constantly see inhabitants of other planes, and also into other times and places, something that had driven her quite mad with terror. Right now she gave the statue an interested look. "Would have liked to know him, once. Of course, now I see things a bit differently." Again that shrill laughter. "Where is he, this friend of yours?"

"I dunno," Imoen said, feeling uncomfortable and not wanting to say too much. "I haven't seen him in a while, you see." She only realised her unfortunate phrasing once Aphril laughed again, and she had to suppress an urge to cover her ears.

"Would you like to?" Aphril asked. "I could show you, you know. I can see through the planes, through time, across distance. I can see anything. I can see your friend, if you want me to, and show him to you." She pointed at the statue. "Maybe not quite like that, it would depend on what he's currently doing of course."

Imoen hesitated. It felt a bit like spying. On the other hand, she was very eager to see her friend again. Maybe…maybe I could even somehow let him know I'm here! Maybe I could try with Rini too? "Could you show me somebody else too?" she asked. "Another friend?"

"Not without knowing what they look like. I can see everywhere, but I need to know who to search for." Aphril laughed, finishing with a nasty throat sound that sounded like she was choking on her own phlegm. "Yesss….I see everywhere! I see live people! I see dead people! Here, there, everywhere, above and below and beyond. They're close you know. As close as if they're standing just behind a thin veil, but the veil is torn in places, and I can see, I can see…and sometimes…sometimes they look back at me!" She sobbed a little, rubbing at her eyes. "I don't want them to see me…"

Imoen shivered. "I'm sorry," she said, patting the other woman's arm. "You don't have to do this if it upsets you."

"No! I want to. You're nice. And it will help keep me from seeing…other things for a while. Let me have that for a while." Aphril carefully picked the statue up, and she seemed to be staring through it rather than at it. "That is strange…" she said. "I can see him…I can see him clearly. But it is…as if he can almost see me as well."

"You can see him? You can? Really? Wow! What's he doing? Where is he? Does he look all right? What's he doing? Oh, I can't wait to see him!"

"A moment," Aphril said, her voice soft. "I…will show you."

Imoen waited eagerly, and then gasped as a misty window formed in the air in front of her. Her eyes widening with excitement, she leaned forward to watch.