Cards Reshuffled

Things not to do at a Heroic Presentation: Pick your nose. Yawn openly. Tell Jansen stories. Oh yes…and that other thing, involving your significant other. Note to self: Don’t do that either, unless you want to draw the wrong kind of attention to yourself.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

The ceremony dragged on and on, a seemingly endless torment. Zaerini forced herself to smile and wave at people as they cheered her and her friends, despite wanting to leave as quickly as possible. Anomen…where are you? Please be all right.

He had to find out eventually, Softpaws said. If nothing else, he would have noticed the statues.

Rini groaned quietly. Gods, yes. I didn’t even think about that. All I thought about was Edwina…but of course Ano would have realized when he saw them. I’m so stupid sometimes.

You’re in heat. Everybody gets a bit silly when they’re in heat.

Maybe. And yet, even finding out by seeing the statues would likely have been better than him walking in on us like that.

Well, it’s done. At least now he knows.

Yes. Well, as soon as we’re done here, I’m going after him. I owe him an explanation. The half-elf gripped Edwina’s hand tightly, taking comfort in the presence of her lover.

“You look too pale,” the wizard whispered, her dark eyes filled with concern. “As soon as these peasants are done showering us with the adoration we deserve, you should rest a bit. You’ve had a nasty shock. (And I wouldn’t mind joining her – there are so many ways I could keep her distracted.)”

“Can’t. We need to find Anomen.”

Edwina looked utterly puzzled. “What for?” she whispered. “So the Helmite is gone? Good riddance, I say, and yet another reason for celebration. I could probably conjure up some sparkling wine and a cake if I have a few hours to look up the proper spell…”

“Edwina!”

“And in the meantime, please allow me to help ease your mind. (Easing her clothes would also seem like a very attractive alternative.)”

Rini felt the wizard’s arm sneaking about her waist, pulling her a little closer, and she couldn’t help herself. She leaned in closer to the warm body next to her, sighing a little. Her hands came up, one of them making contact with those tempting curves, and the other tangling itself in thick dark hair. And then she was being bent slowly backwards, and there were hot lips against her own, and then…

Silence. Deep, anticipatory, and very poignant silence. Slowly, slowly, Zaerini turned her eyes, and met about a hundred eyes staring back at her, all of them looking utterly wide and fascinated. From the sudden flush appearing in Edwina’s cheeks it seemed that she, too, had suddenly remembered about the presence of most of the population of Trademeet.

“Ooops…” Rini said, an embarrassed grin on her face.

“You know kiddies,” Jan thoughtfully said, “I would advice you to get a room at about this point, except that reminds me of what happened when my cousin Meg Jansen did just that with her new beau. They went to this tiny little place called ‘The Gates Motel’ you see, which was run by this truly sinister gnome who had invented a mind-controlling device called Uncommon Pewter. Because it was made from pewter, of course, and uncommon since it had this eerie glow that hypnotized people, making them sit in front of it for hours at a time, until they drowned in their own drool from watching pictures of naked half-orc ladies. Anyway, my cousin and her boyfriend rented a room, and all was fine and dandy until they found the landlord peeking at them through a hole he had drilled in the bedroom wall. Needless to say they were pretty much upset, since they were doing rather personal things in that bedroom, and they went to confront the landlord. Alas, he used his Uncommon Pewter against them, making cousin Meg’s boyfriend think that he was really her crazy old mother, which rather complicated the relationship, especially when he came after her with a kitchen knife for going off to strange motels with young men. Fortunately he missed, and stabbed the landlord instead, which broke the spell. They still run the motel together, actually.”

“We…will keep that in mind,” Edwina said, her eyes slightly glassy.

“Not a bad story,” Minsc said, “but not enough hamsters in it. Does the little gnome know the story about Hammy the Happy Hamster? That is Minsc’s favorite.”

“No Minscey,” Jan said, “but I would be delighted to learn it! Please go on…”

“Very well,” Edwina said in a low voice, her mouth pleasantly close to Zaerini’s ear as the hamster story passed them blissfully by. “We will go and find the Helmite, as soon as possible. (If not, I don’t doubt that the gnome will spend all his time conversing me.)”

Once the reward ceremony was finally over, the party reassembled in the Trademeet Inn, to wait for Jaheira’s return. The druid eventually walked through the door, and Rini’s heart sank as she saw that Jaheira was alone.

“I am sorry, child,” Jaheira said. “He would not come back, he said he needed some time alone.”

“And I can’t blame him,” the redhead said, wincing. “Oh Jaheira, I’ve made such a mess of this.”

Jaheira shook her head. “He had to learn sooner or later,” she said. “Granted, it might have been better if he had not seen…what he saw, but you could not have known that he would walk in on you. And yes, it might have been better if you had told him sooner, but these things are difficult to handle for anybody. You did your best, and you did not hurt him intentionally. I think he will probably understand that, eventually. Just give him some time to calm down, and then talk to him.”

Jan nodded, his voice unusually serious when he spoke. “If the lad is worth anything, he’ll understand,” he said, his eyes a little distant. “He’ll be unhappy of course, but he’ll want you to be happy, your Worship. Even if that means seeing you with somebody else. That’s how it is when you really care about somebody.”

“That’s right!” Minsc agreed, giving the bard a crushing hug. “Little Rini must simply say ‘sorry’, and Anomen must say ‘sorry’ too, and then we can all be friends again! Boo says that ‘sorry’ is a simple word but hard all the same, but Minsc thinks it’s easy.”

Zaerini smiled at the ranger’s kind and honest face. “That’s because you’re you, Minsc,” she said. “And I love you for it.”

“Now wait just a moment,” Edwina protested, her voice mock scolding. “Such a comment could make me quite concerned, Hellkitten. In fact, I think I need some reassurance that you won’t suddenly elope to Rasheman.” She pouted, in a way that made Rini’s heart melt completely.

“Is that so? Well, for being jealous I think you deserve to be taught a lesson…”

I’ll think about Anomen later, the bard thought as she snuggled into the arms of the wizard, kissing her passionately. And I’ll try my best to make up with him. But right now I’m too happy to think about much of anything.

They left Trademeet the next morning, after saying their farewells to both Lord Logan, and to Kveroslava and the other Rom. The fortune teller shared some of her knowledge about the reading of cards, and then explained that she and her people would return to the forest now that it was once again safe to do so. “Home beckons, for most of us,” she said. “Even more so in times of distress. You would be wise to seek your young friend’s home, and soon.”

“Anomen?” Zaerini asked. “You’re talking about Anomen, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I have seen much darkness ahead of that one. He may yet prevail against it, but before long he will need your help.” The Rom woman’s eyes turned melancholy. “I could only see vague impressions, but somebody close to him is in terrible danger, though he doesn’t know it yet. Go to him, girl. You love him, though not in the way he would wish, and he will need you.”

Those news didn’t exactly make Rini less worried about Anomen, and she was very eager to get back to Athkatla. She did take the time to go for a little ‘shopping expedition’ with Jan first though. Now that the hold of the genies on the merchants of Trademeet had ceased, there was once again a vast array of interesting goods. Interesting, and expensive, and she meant to pay as little as possible for them. She made a special point of only taking Jan along too. Minsc didn’t approve of thievery, and nor did Jaheira. She was unable to sneak past Edwina though.

“No!” the wizard protested. “I absolutely forbid this! Have you no idea how dangerous it is? Suppose you got caught? Suppose you got arrested and put in jail?”

“Relax, ‘Dwina,” Zaerini said, planting a light kiss on the wizard’s cheek. “You’ll fret yourself into an aneurysm if you’re not careful.”

“And with good reason too! You think this is all some kind of…some kind of lark? An amusing little game?”

“If you don’t hush down soon people will notice,” the bard whispered, even as she snagged herself a few spell scrolls from a stand and slipped them under her cloak. “Oooh, would you look at that bow over there…isn’t it pretty? I’ll just go and get it.”

“No!” Edwina said, trying to hold her in one place by tugging at her tunic. “Will you stop this? (Gah, she is so reckless…if it wasn’t for me to supply her with some common sense she would undoubtedly be long since dead.)”

“Calm down! I’ll be careful.”

“Ha! That’s what you say! (My poor frayed nerves…)”

“Edwina, stay put and stop distracting me! It’s an order.” Rini had to admit that the put out expression on the wizard’s face was extremely adorable, but she steeled her heart against it and concentrated on the task at hand. Ten minutes later she returned, her pack stuffed with all sorts of expensive and magical items, all of them illegally acquired. “See?” she told Edwina. “No problem whatsoever. I got this neat cloak that blurs you so that you’re more difficult to hit, I thought that could be useful for Minsc, assuming it doesn’t give us all a headache. And then there’s this magical belt that increases your resistance to magic…go ahead, you take that! It’ll look great on you too. Oh, and then there’s this lovely, lovely bow that fires magical arrows…”

“Yes, yes,” Edwina said. “You pulled it off. Just don’t worry me like this again. (Rogues…no self-preservation at all.)”

“Of course not,” Zaerini said with her sweetest smile. Because there is no way you’re going shopping with me again, love.

Jan chose that moment to return, having been equally successful in his pilfering and carrying several intriguing new spell scrolls. The trio turned back, meaning to rejoin the others. Before they had gone long however, they saw an extremely odd character heading towards them. It was a wizard, of that there could be no doubt. But not just any wizard. The robe he wore was blood red, the same color as Edwina’s, and looked very fine and expensive. He was completely bald, and both his shaven head and his high cheekbones were decorated with swirling black tattoos. Several magical amulets hung around his neck, and the ornate staff he carried glowed brightly with magical energy, clearly visible to anybody with mage sight. The man had a rather long face, with jutting eyebrows and deeply set dark eyes. They looked keen, bright and intelligent. And also cold, and utterly merciless.

“Oh no….” Edwina whispered, her face suddenly pale. “Not him! Not Degardan…”

A Red Wizard, Rini thought, feeling a sinking sensation in her stomach. And a powerful one, by the look of him. Well, I don’t care. If he means any harm to Edwina, then he will be made to regret it. Forcefully, if need be.