Cards Reshuffled

I like nice clothes, and looking good, it’s all part of being presentable on stage after all. And fashion can be interesting, but there is really only one basic rule about it. If you’re arrogant enough and convinced that you’re stunning, then you are the one who dictates what’s fashionable.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

“So, what do you think? Quite stunning, wouldn’t you say? Of course I could hardly be otherwise, but I do believe that my masterful work has enhanced even my great natural assets. (Granted I would much prefer my natural form to this one, but if I am temporarily stuck like this I might as well make the best of it.)” Edwina preened and spun around, displaying her new robe. The effect was such a one that Zaerini almost choked on her ale, and she noticed that quite a few of the males present in the Copper Coronet’s common room ogled the wizard unashamedly. More than a few. Just about everybody. Even, and this she was really stunned to see, Anomen. The cleric tried to pretend otherwise, but his eyes kept returning to Edwina’s impressive cleavage, and lingered there.

Having returned to the Copper Coronet with her purchases the previous evening, Edwina had immediately shut herself inside her room, and she had refused to come out for any reason, not even to eat. When spoken to through the keyhole, she had refused to say anything other than that she didn’t want to be disturbed until her ‘grand work was complete’. Apparently, this was the result of that work. The wizard had used the red cloth and the gold thread to great effect, creating a robe that would have made a magpie drool with desire, if magpies knew how to drool, and that certainly made more than one human mouth water.

The mage robe was a deep blood red, and its cut was such as to display a female form to its fullest advantage. There was a long slit on either side, which showed off a pair of elegant long legs. She…she’s even wearing red boots! Sparkly ones! And…was that a bit of garter I just spotted? There was cleavage. Lots of cleavage. Lots of very attractive cleavage, and Rini couldn’t help noticing that anymore than Anomen could, though she hoped she was less obvious about it. The ruby amulet that the wizard always wore nestled between a pair of highly desirable breasts, drawing even further attention to them. And the bodice fit very well, and very snugly, and the waistline was just perfect, and then there was the way the skirt flared out as the wizard moved, in a highly dramatic fashion. Oh, and there was embroidery too. Gold thread embroidery, winding its way along the full sleeves, cascading towards the waist like a waterfall, encircling the bodice. She had brushed her hair out too, so it tumbled smoothly down her back like a dark flood, and her nails were neatly manicured.

“You…did you make that yourself?” Rini asked, still staring. “In just one day?”

“Certainly!” Edwina told her, sitting down at the table opposite to the bard, something that displayed even more of her legs. A collective sigh passed through the crowd, but if the wizard noticed it she didn’t let it show. She certainly didn’t seem to notice it. “Granted, I had to use magic for the routine stitches, but the finer work I did by hand, as it should be done. (I couldn’t let any of the oafish cretins that call themselves tailors in this city touch the garment that should grace my own divine form, after all. No doubt they would give me fleas.)”

“Oh…right. I never was that good at sewing myself, actually.”

“Really?” Edwina leaned forward, in a movement that looked dangerously close to making her spill out of her robe. Her dark eyes were intent and focused, and there were small spots of color in her cheeks. “If you like…I could perhaps spare my precious time to make a little something for you one of these days. (Of course, it would require taking her measurements, very closely.)”

You’d like that, wouldn’t you, kitten? Softpaws chimed in from her spot on Zaerini’s lap. The cat had her eyes closed and was purring loudly as the bard rubbed her behind her ears, but that didn’t keep her from listening in.

Yes…would I ever!

That is good…grooming is very important, and mates should help each other out with it.

At this point Anomen finally found his voice again, though his eyes still lingered. He was very red in the face, Zaerini noticed. “You…you vile wizard! Have you…have you not a shred of decency whatsoever? Did not the curse that struck you as punishment for your pride curb your outrageous ways in any way? No doubt you deck yourself out as some cheap courtesan in order to tempt decent men onto the path of Sin!”

Edwina gave the cleric a look of complete bafflement, and then sneered. “Once again you display your utter lack of control, priest. A man who can control his urges needn’t fear female garments, or females for that matter. Your ranting and lack of restraint clearly demonstrates just how inexperienced you are, and I pity the poor woman fool enough to take up with you. And I don’t expect an uncultured gorilla such as yourself to understand Thayvian high fashion, I’m quite frankly amazed you’ve progressed beyond the stage of the common loincloth made from twigs and leaves. (And I don’t look like anything of the sort.)”

“You know,” Jan said, “that does remind me of my distant second-cousin, Astor Jansen. Now, he was lost when his parents accidentally got killed by a nasty griffin-attack, and the poor little mite was found by a tribe of giant ants, who raised him as one of his own. Astor, Lord of the Ants, that’s what he used to call himself. He could click his mandibles with the best of them, and run as swiftly on two legs as the ants could on six. He’d wrestle the giant termites with his bare hands when they came calling, fighting side by side with his loyal sidekick, Dora the Ant, and nobody could milk a louse like he could, not to mention that he was a mean drummer. When the family tracked him down he had just gained the favor of the ruling Queen, and wasn’t keen at all on being rescued, just kept trying to bite us. So he got to stay with the tribe, and is very happy as I understand it. We did persuade him to start wearing a simple loincloth though, he thought it was a bit embarrassing with all the lady ants gawking at him, even if the workers don’t actually reproduce they still have their urges, you know. They try to be polite about it though, just wave their antennae about in suggestive ways, so Ano here could likely learn from them.”

“I do not have urges!” Anomen snapped. “At least not towards that disgusting wizard, I would sooner die. And I don’t have antennae!”

“Both of those could easily be arranged…” Edwina murmured, smiling coldly. From his perch on her shoulder Insufferable smirked at the cleric and stuck his fingers up above his head to mimic those precise insectile appendages, then meticulously returned to combing his fluffy fur with his pink little fingers.

Jaheira had been eating silently through all of this, by all appearances hoping that concentrating on her bowl of soup would block the conversation out. By now she couldn’t keep quiet any longer though. “Enough!” she said, glaring openly at both combatants. “There are more important matters at hand than your petty bickering.” She lowered her voice so that only the people sitting at their own table could hear her. “I have spoken with Bernard again, and he had some new information for me. This place is more than it appears, and not in a good way. Illegal gambling and prostitution is one thing, but I now have reason to believe that worse things go on in the Copper Coronet’s backrooms. Bernard has spotted prisoners in chains taken in there, and I suspect that this place is involved with the slave trade here in Athkatla. The Harpers cannot and will not allow it to continue, and neither will I.”

“What?” Minsc boomed, half getting up from the table until Jaheira and Zaerini jointly managed to motion him back into his seat. “Such a thing is an evil that must not be tolerated! If the Worm of Evil Whipwaving has eaten deeply into the Tummy of Athkatla, then we Heroes must be the De-Worming Powder of Freedom, and let all run free!”

The ranger beamed proudly at all his companions after this statement, watching in some confusion as they all deliberately pushed aside plates and set down forks and knives.

“Yes…” Jaheira eventually said, looking slightly nauseous. “That was more or less the essence of what I meant to say, thank you Minsc.”

“Boo helped, he comes up with many clever things that Minsc cannot think of himself!” The hamster squeaked helpfully from its spot near Minsc’s plate, where it was nibbling on a bit of cheese.

“So,” Zaerini said, “what exactly do you want us to do, Jaheira? If what you say is true, then I’m all for it, but this place is swarming with guards. I’d rather not charge them straight on.”

“That will not be necessary, child,” the druid said, smiling in a pleased manner, green eyes glittering with determination. “We will enter as guests, I have acquired permission for us to do so. Then we will see what we see…and then we will act depending on what we see.”

Getting past the back door of the Copper Coronet was easy enough, once the adventurers introduced themselves as ‘special guests’ of Hendak. “Finally decided to have some fun, preacher-man?” the guard asked Anomen, leering suggestively. “Should have known you had to be human after all, inside the metal. But three fine-looking ladies just for you, isn’t that a bit of a waste? Or do the gnome and the giant get to share? Could be fun to watch…”

“We are guests,” Rini swiftly said, since she rather feared that Anomen might smash the man’s head in prematurely. “All of us. And what we do inside is our business.”

“Just step aside and do not bother us, coprophiliac son of a troll!” Edwina said, and swept haughtily past the man, wrinkling her nose. “Your stench would make even an Otyugh shy back!”

Gods, she looks cute when she scrunches her nose up like that!

So tell her! Softpaws said. She needs to hear it, she’s feeling very confused at the moment, and more than a little miserable. Insufferable says… The cat broke off, and then licked her nose in an embarrassed manner.

Insufferable says what?

Sorry, kitten. I can’t tell you, it’s private. I shouldn’t even have said that much.

Softy, I’m worried about him…I mean her. If there’s anything I can do to help, I want to know.

Just keep a close eye on her. And don’t let her be alone too much. She needs you badly right now, but she’s too proud to say so, or to ask for help. Basically, just try to be there as much as possible.

I am planning to. Believe me, I am really planning to.

There was a dark passage leading ahead, and a flight of stairs going up. Laughter could be heard drifting down from a lit doorway at the top of the stairs, and there was the faint murmur of voices up ahead. “Let’s split up,” the bard suggested. “We can search the place faster that way. Two groups of three, and we’ll meet back here in about half an hour, earlier if possible. Just act inconspicuous, even if you find something bad going on. If we have to fight, we want to be prepared for it.” She paused for a moment, thinking. “Me, Anomen and Edwina go upstairs. Jaheira, Minsc and Jan, you go down that other way.”

“Very well,” the druid said. “Just try to be cautious, all of you.”

“’Course we well! See you later then.”

The upper floor of the Copper Coronet turned out to be, to put it briefly, a brothel. There was a main room, with a few tables and grubby couches, where scantily clad men and women conversed with more or less drunk customers. Armed guards could be seen here and there, and Rini wondered if they were there for the safety of the prostitutes, or to keep them from leaving. The courtesans smiled at their customers of course, that was only to be expected. But she thought their eyes looked dead, glassy and hopeless. Selling your body cannot be a happy life of course…but these people look outright broken. From the two adjoining corridors, she could hear voices, grunts, laughter, now and then screams. She hoped they were screams of pleasure, but she wasn’t entirely certain, and she shivered violently as the memories came crashing home. Reiltar. He would love such a place, I’m sure. She wasn’t even aware that she had moaned under her breath, until she saw the worried looks that her companions were giving her. He would really like this, people helpless, people in his power, people he could hurt for his own pleasure…Now she was really shaking.

“He is gone,” Edwina said, almost as if the wizard had read her mind. She had moved closer to the bard, and had put her arm about her waist, supporting the shorter half-elf. “He is gone, and he will never touch you again, I swear it.”

Anomen nodded, squeezing her hand. “The mage is right, for once. The fiend you told us about is no doubt rotting in a hell of his own making, and will never again be able to harm you, my lady. I would die before I let such a thing happen to any woman, much less to yourself.”

Rini sighed deeply, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. Stupid tears. I don’t want to cry about it anymore. Reiltar doesn’t deserve that. “I know,” she said. “Thank you, both of you. I just…flipped out there for a moment. I’ll be all right now, I think.”

Anomen was just about to say something, but at that point they were interrupted by a corpulent woman in a shiny yellow dress, and with a predatory smile on what had probably once been a lovely face. “Hello there, my dears!” she said. “What can Madame Nin do for you?” She smiled again. “You are all pretty enough, but you are customers, are you not? So tell me…what do you want? Or perhaps that should be…who do you want?”