In The Cards

Always learn as much as you can about your target before going in. If you find yourself in a situation where that isn’t possible, remember to proceed with extreme caution. Otherwise you may suddenly find yourself unexpectedly transported into some unpleasant alternate dimension populated entirely with characters out of a soppy romance novel, or else savaged by flesh-eating demons. Of those two, the demons are the preferred option, since at least they won’t make you choke to death on your own vomit.

Excerpt from ‘Interview With An Assassin’

Imoen had never been particularly good at waiting. Patiently staying immobile wasn’t really a behaviour that came naturally to her. So it was that as she was hanging about behind the Sorcerous Sundries magic shop, trying to look inconspicuous, she kept trying to come up with new ways to amuse herself. She first spent some time thinking about Sarevok. Much as it bothered her, the large warrior did seem to have some sort of strange connection with her best friend, and that in a way meant that he was connected to Imoen as well. But I don’t want him to be. He…he killed Gorion. He’s been trying to kill us all.

All the same…from the few things Zaerini had told her of Sarevok’s diary he hadn’t had an easy life. Imoen couldn’t help feeling sorry about that, whatever he’d done. And her sister also seemed to sense something more about him. It’s that Bhaalspawn thing. I wish I could understand better. I’m her best friend and I love her! I should be able to understand.

Imoen sighed. These thoughts never really led anywhere. She would simply have to try her best to be there for her friend, same as she always had. And in the meantime, she had some waiting to do. Nervously she fiddled with her lock picks a little, admiring the new set she had bought only the other day, including one that could be used on really tiny locks. These days she could do things that she’d only dreamed of before, but there was still so much to learn. And of course, tonight would be an examination of a sort. Not just a dungeon crawl this, checking for traps for the benefit of her friends. Tonight she was going to participate in real roguery, and while being watched by a skilled senior no less. I hope I didn’t forget anything important. Let me see. Lock picks, kit for trap disarming, rope, oil, sword, extra dagger, sandwiches, lucky handkerchief…that should be it. All right, let’s go over some stuff he might ask about. Traps are very important. Gotta remember to check for traps at all times. Wonder if he’d mind teaching me to set some as well? That could be very useful. Anyway. Must make sure to be very stealthy and secret, so I’ll impress him. Mature. Dangerous. Classy. Professional. That’s it.

Imoen sighed again, a little wistfully this time and started skipping along the alley on one leg in order to cheer herself up. If only he wasn’t already taken…it’s so unfair. We would have made such a perfect couple. But it wouldn’t be right to try to steal him from somebody else of course. I just hope she knows how lucky she is. Well, at least he can still be my friend, and teach me lots of stuff, and I’ll make him very proud of me. Yup, that’s what’ll happen.

“Oh, I beg your pardon,” said a very dry voice right next to Imoen’s ear. “I wasn’t aware that we had an appointment to play games. Or were you doing dancing practise?”

Imoen squealed and spun around, almost colliding with the tall shape of Adahn. The older rogue was standing right behind her, watching her with a sardonic smile on his face. “Hi!” Imoen said. “Wow, I still can’t believe how silent you can be! That is so neat. I’d really, really, really, really like to learn that. Think I can? Do ya? Do ya?”

“Possibly” Adahn said with a small shrug. “I’d say that occasionally staying silent long enough to draw breath would be a good start. Are you ready?”

Imoen nodded enthusiastically. “Sure! I’ve got all I need. This is going to be so much fun, I’m having fun already, aren’t you having fun? Come on, I’m sure you are!”

“I believe,” Adahn said, “that I will reserve judgement on the night’s ‘fun-level’ until after we both come back alive and in one piece. Call me a traditionalist if you want, but that’s how I usually prefer it.” Suddenly he got a very strange look on his face, almost as if he had bitten into a scrumptious, tasty apple and found half a worm. “What,” he said, “is that?”

“Oh!” Imoen cheerfully exclaimed, proudly raising her arm to display its current decoration. “That’s my lucky handkerchief. Well, actually I suppose it’s your handkerchief, but you did say I could keep it.” She smiled at her companion. “I just thought that since you gave it to me it might bring me good luck, and then I thought that I could tie it around my arm, for a favour, you know. Like knights do in the stories. It’s usually the devastatingly cute and highborn lady who gives the knight the hanky, but I figured it probably would work even if you aren’t exactly a lady, and they don’t have to be, you know, a couple or anything, just friendly like us and…”

Adahn was supporting himself against the wall by now. “Please allow me to explain something,” he said in a very tightly controlled voice. “You are not a knight, and if that’s the sort of training you’re looking for, then you have definitely come to the wrong person. Furthermore, I really don’t want any of my personal items accidentally dropped at a crime scene for any diviner to pick up. Just put it away.”

“Aw, PLEASE?” Imoen tried, making her best puppy eyes.

“A touching performance. Can you see the single crystal tear trickling down my petal-like rosy cheek?”

“Um…no?”

“That’s because there isn’t one. Now let’s go before I lose my patience.”

The two rogues quietly made their way through the city towards the designated meeting place. Narlen Darkwalk looked a little uneasy when he noticed that Imoen wasn’t alone. “Hey!” he said. “I thought I told ye…”

“You told her not to bring any outsiders,” Adahn smoothly interrupted. “That does not include me of course. You needn’t worry for your cut of the loot, I have no interest in that anyway as I am simply here to observe.”

“Oh. Well. That be all right then. I be wantin’ to see how ye do on the inside this eve, while Rededge spy the alley.” Narlen tittered nervously at Imoen. “It be a jewel heist, see? I had thought to pick the lock for ye, but with yer friend all set to help…”

“That’s fine”, Imoen said. “We can manage on our own, right Adahn?”

“I should certainly hope so,” the older rogue said. He gave Narlen a pointed look. “Oh, and by the way… I hope you weren’t planning to send our young friend into the proverbial lion’s den without providing her with some more information about the beast within, now were you? We should always try to educate our junior colleagues, don’t you agree? Otherwise there might be some resentment later.” Once again he was using that not-quite-a-smile. Imoen was very impressed and immediately decided to practise later in front of a mirror. Narlen apparently also was impressed, enough so that his teeth started chattering quietly.

“It b-b-be Gantolandon the g-gem merchant,” he said. “Very r-rich…keeps some g-goods in the house. Doesn’t go out much, bit of a recluse.”

Adahn leaned forward. “I don’t really care about how rich he is,” he said in a very reasonable voice. “What I do care about is if he has any guards, and if so, how many and how well armed. The presence of guard dogs or traps is also the sort of information I would like you to provide me with. You have done your research properly, I assume?”

“Er…I…”

“Ah. I see. So basically you were planning to send a half-trained girl in blindly, in the faint hope that she might make it out alive. How…inventive of you.”

“I…I…”

“Here’s what we’ll do. Since she will do the actual job, it seems only fair that she also gets the actual profit, don’t you agree?”

“I…I…I…”

Adahn had put a friendly hand on Narlen’s shoulder by now, or at least it looked friendly. Imoen thought she could see the thief wincing slightly though. “She will take the risks, she will leave with the money, and after this little outing you will make sure that she gets full privileges in the guild, won’t you? It would be such a shame if anybody else thought they could take advantage of an outsider. I wouldn’t like that at all.”

Sweat was trickling down Narlen’s forehead by now. “Wh-what do I get?”

“You? You get the satisfaction of having helped a young mind grow and blossom into its full potential.” The grip on Narlen’s shoulder tightened just a little bit, and moved further up towards his throat. “Isn’t that nice?”

Narlen’s eyes flickered in panic for a moment, and then he hung his head. “Yeah”, he sighed. “Real nice.”

Gantolandon’s house was an impressive three-story one, surrounded by a tall wall. Dark and shuttered windows stared silently back at the two rogues lurking in the shadows on the other side of the street, giving no secrets away. “I don’t really like this,” Adahn said in a quiet voice. “I always prefer knowing at least something of what to expect before entering a strange house, and if Gantolandon is such a wealthy merchant it seems reasonable to expect traps. But since you have promised to do this you really can’t back out without losing all standing with the Guild, and probably making dangerous enemies as well. You must remember to be very cautious though.”

“I will”, Imoen promised. “I’ll show you how good I’ve become.”

“Very well. Proceed at your own pace then.”

A few minutes later Imoen was eyeing the lock on the front door warily. Now let’s see…a lightning trap. No sweat, I can deal with those. She took a certain tiny instrument out of her toolbox and started working. Twist…and turn. Up…and down…and then flip the weight. There we go. Ooops…mustn’t forget the isolation. Just a teeny bit of Magic Glue to jam the mechanism…like that. Got it!

“Very nice,” Adahn said, nodding approvingly so that Imoen felt a warm glow of pride spread through her entire body. “Now try the lock itself.”

Imoen went on working, grinning like a maniac. It took a few minutes, but eventually the door opened. Remembering to check that no trap waited immediately inside the door she proceeded into the house. It was dark. Very dark. Imoen stood absolutely still for a few moments, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Eventually she started to make out the faint outlines of furniture. Tall and heavy cabinets stood along the walls, and doors led off into different directions, while a staircase led upwards into mystery. Moving as cautiously as she could she peeked into the first room, an elegant living-room as it turned out. Carefully navigating between the tiny tables that seemed to have been placed exactly where a nightly visitor might trip over them on purpose, Imoen approached a chest of drawers and peered into it. There were a few coins, but apart from that nothing of interest. The same held true for the rest of the room.

A short while later Imoen was beginning to grow desperate. She had searched practically the whole first floor, but there were still no gems to be found, or indeed anything else of great value. Adahn hadn’t said anything about it yet, simply following behind her, watching her technique, but it was making her increasingly nervous. I can’t believe this! I can’t make a fool of myself in front of him, I mustn’t! Biting her lip nervously, she entered the final room on the first floor. This room turned out to be a spotless kitchen, neat and tidy, practically gleaming. Imoen felt ready to scream with frustration.

“Hold on,” Adahn breathed, taking her arm as she prepared to leave. “Don’t give up just yet. The kitchen is a fairly common hiding place for small valuables.”

Imoen nodded and started searching the room. The fireplace held nothing of interest, but then she came across the cupboards. Two of them, both locked. That was a bit unusual. What could there be in a kitchen that was precious enough that somebody felt the need to lock it away? The lock on the first cupboard was difficult, and she had to work on it for quite some time. Finally it opened, and Imoen happily held up her prize, a large bag of gems. It was too dark to examine them closely, but she thought she could recognize at least a few pretty pearls. The second cupboard turned out to be more difficult however. However much she struggled she just couldn’t manage to get it open.

“I’ll do it,” Adahn whispered. “This is a tricky one.” He examined the lock for a while, then handed Imoen a lock pick of a kind she hadn’t seen before. It was slightly hooked, and had a serrated edge. “Here, let me show you.” Taking the girl’s hand in his own he carefully guided her through the process. Meanwhile, Imoen was trying very hard to remember to breathe, and to forget that he was standing very close behind her. Not an easy task, and once the lock finally opened she was very glad that the darkness hid her blush. “You see?” the older rogue asked. “It’s the twist at the end that’s the important thing. Otherwise you’ll snap the lock pick inside the lock, and that can be a bit inconvenient.”

Imoen just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Maybe I can’t have him for my own, but dreaming isn’t a crime. And even if it was, I don’t care. “This is very strange,” she said as she examined the contents of the cupboard. “No food at all, and no more gems, just these wine bottles.” She held a dark green bottle up and sloshed it around to illustrate her point.

“You’re right,” Adahn said, giving the bottle a sharp look. “That is very strange. Come to think of it…there isn’t any food anywhere in this kitchen, is there? And it doesn’t look as if it has ever been used…”

“Maybe Gantolandon always eats out?”

“Maybe…or maybe not. Let me see that bottle.” Imoen wordlessly handed it over. She was feeling increasingly worried, though she couldn’t quite say why. It was a subtle, creeping feeling of dread.

Whatever it was, it was affecting her companion as well. He carefully turned the bottle over and over, and then held it up against the faint light of the small magical torch burning in one corner of the room. As he did, his sharp face took on a very grim look. “There are wards on this cork,” he explained. “Some sort of magic to keep the contents fresh. It doesn’t have to mean anything, but I wonder…” Pulling the cork out of the bottle he poured some of the dark red fluid into a glass and then dipped his finger into it and tasted it. Once he did, he tensed subtly, reminding Imoen uncomfortably of some wild animal suddenly sensing the approach of an enemy. “This is bad,” he said in a flat voice. “We need to get out of here now.”

“But…”

“No time to explain. Just go, and quietly.”

As they reentered the hall, Imoen once again felt that dread, like icy fingers sliding along her spine, but this time it was stronger. And…there was something there, between them and the front door. Mist? But how could there be a cloud of swirling mist here, indoors? And then the mist solidified, took on a shape that almost looked like a human man. Almost, except for the corpse-like pallor and the burning red eyes. Then the creature parted its pale lips, hissing, and as Imoen gazed upon the sharp fangs there was just a single word running through her mind. Vampire.