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2. Spring-break

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#1 Weyoun

Posted 03 November 2002 - 09:58 AM

Writer's comment : Still written during Strange_Girl's quiz, this ASW contains a rude innkeeper, an obsequinous bellhop, a jamaican traveller and plenty of other chars you might recognize. :)


'This must it.' Viconia thought when she opened the door. The smell of the place practically slapped her in the face. Through the haze, the smoke-filled air and the grinding of dropped peanut-shells beneath her shoes, she managed to notice Valen waving at her. When she finally waded through the foul air, she sat down at the table with her colleagues Valen and Joneleth, who were enjoying a beer.

"Bud me," She told the waitress and greeted her friends...

"Ah, we were just wondereing where you were at, Vic. Late night back at the office?" Joneleth asked sarcastically.

"Ack, don't remind me." Viconia sighed and buried her hands in her long white hair. "But I've graded the last test and done the final paperwork."

"Ah, finally... Spring-break!" The three said simultaniously and had a good laugh. Meanwhile, the waitress brought Viconia her beer.

"Say, how'd you find this dive, Joneleth?" Viconia asked.

Joneleth grinned. "Charming, isn't it?"

"Charming? I half expect Barney Gumble to walk in any minute now!" Viconia replied.

"Yes, we all know about your Simpsons fixation, Vic. We've seen the posters in your office..." Valen laughed.

"And the mugs." Joneleth Added.

"And the Homer Simpson statuette." Valen replied.

"And your Bart Simpson phone..." Joneleth smirked.

"Alright, Alright..." Viconia said harshy and held up her hands. "It's, ummm, only because Vierna likes the show so much..." She tried.

"Oh, sure... Vierna likes the show..." Valen said sarcastically.

"Where is the little scamp, by the way?" Joneleth asked.

"Well, she's staying with her aunt Imoen at the moment. I'm going to pick her up, after I finish my beer..." She said. "And, Joneleth, I believe I asked you how you found this place?"

"Ah, Yes. Well, the owner told me about it over the phone." Joneleth started.

"Come again?" Viconia asked.

"You see, the owner called me because my sister had been here all evening and she gave him my number to have herself picked up." Joneleth said. "When I got here she was totally drunk off her ass and was harassing the local barflies..." He paused a moment. "I got here just in time. She was about to do a striptease on the pooltable in her drunken haze. Almost got my lights punched out by a couple of ruffians when I tried to cover her up."

Viconia couldn't help but laugh when she pictured the lanky elf being advanced upon by three burly humans...

"Oh, sure laugh it up..." Joneleth grinned. "Anyway, I managed to get her home, but before I left, I found out she had rigged the bar's toilet to shoot sludge..." He paused. "The hard way..."

Both Viconia and Valen were doubled over in laughter now.

"Oh, thank you for the sympathy!" Joneleth said sarcastically.

"Where's Becky, by the way?" Valen asked, referring to another of their colleagues.

"She went home... Probably because, unlike us, she actually has a life." Viconia said.

After hearing this statement, the three friends looked around, as if realizing where they really were for the first time...

"Nah, that can't be it..." Joneleth said, restoring the former mood.

"Where are you going to this year, Valen...?" Viconia asked.

"Carlsbad Caverns!" Valen whooped. "Vampire paradise!" She yelled while thinking of the underground hotel-complex.

"What about you, Vic?" Joneleth asked.

"Well, I'm taking Vierna to the ocean this week. It'll be a one day drive and I've found a lovely little hotel, far away from the tourist-crowds." Viconia smiled. "I'm really looking forward to spending some time with Vierna..."

"Didn't you go to a heatlh-spa before you met Karis and had Vierna? What was that called again?" Joneleth said pensively.

"La Costa Lotta... Lovely place, but too many tourists. Last time I was there there was this balding human dork, in an old seventies white leisure suit constantly trying to get me in his bed. He pestered me for two days, straight! Eventually I got so annoyed I decided to go home... What about you, Jon? Where are you going?"

"Well, I'm spending spring-break in my own backyard with a cold drink and some good books. That way, I can at least keep an eye on my sister..."


After spending an evening packing and loading her suitcases into the back of her Ford Fiesta, the next day, Viconia and Vierna were ready to go. There was only one area of concern, however...

"Momma," Vierna began. "Are you really sure, you programmed the VCR?"

"Yes, yes, little one," Viconia replied, while putting a cooler with cold softdrinks in the front of the car. "When we get back there will be two Simpsons episodes waiting for us!"

"Hey, squirt!" A friendly voice greeted Vierna from behind them.

"Hi, Uncle Jan!" Vierna called from the car.

"Ah, there you are, Jan." Viconia said. "Remember! No parties!" She stressed.

Going against her better judgment, Viconia had decided to ask Jan to be her house-sitter. She really wanted Imoen to do this, but she and her band 'Screamin' Reapers would be opening for the Stones in L.A. this week, and would she be staying with her brother Valas. Viconia smiled to herself. It seemed Karis' sister was into Drow as well... They had been seeing each other ever since....... 'Let's not go that way now. Happy thoughts...' She forced herself to think.

"Hey, you know me Vicky!" Jan said.

"Yes... That's why I'm going to kill you if I find out you did have a party!" Viconia snarled. Nine years ago, Viconia and Karis left for a romantic weekend away, and she had hired a student of hers she thought she could trust as a house-sitter. When they got back, they found most of their furniture on the lawn, their front-windows removed and their house filled with drunken, rowdy, partying teenagers. After Viconia had personally cleared out the place... (Simply being herself, got rid of the lot of them quickly enough.) They ended up having to replace the carpeting, the wallpaper and most breakables in their house. Of course, the student had no life for the rest of her academic career, and eventually transferred to another college...
She didn't regret going away for that weekend though, because she was sure Vierna was conceived during that little getaway...

But if Jan had a party during her absence, he would pay dearly, but for now, it was time to go...

"Bye, uncle Jan! Take care of 'Superdude' for me!" Vierna said.

"See ya in a week, you two." Jan smiled, and wandered into the house, wondering where Vierna's cat was hanging out...


Viconia was driving her car up the ramp to the freeway, but she would soon regret her decision. From half a mile away, she could see the makings of a gigantic traffic jam, and judging from the incessant sound of horns, the jam must be going on for miles. Viconia sighed heavily... Her vacation didn't begin well. 'What is this... Is there meteor that's gonna crash into the town, and I'm the last to know?' She thought wryly... Wait a minute, the other side of the road is almost completely deserted. And there isn't a cop in sight...

Vierna had been on holidays and days-out with her mother for almost six years now and recognized the look in her mother's eyes. 'Better hold on to my heinie', she thought and grabbed the seat of her chair.

"Hold on tightly now, Vierna." Viconia said. "This might get a bit rough."

That said, Viconia, getting some surprisingly fancy moves from her old Ford Fiesta, coaxed her car to drive over the grass between the two lanes and made a gracious, yet savage U-turn to the other, empty side of the freeway...

"Is it over, momma?" Vierna her eyes still closed.

"You can open your eyes now, honey." Viconia said gently. "It seems we're taking the scenic route..." She said, hoping not to lose too much vacation time...


'Taking the scenic route sucks!'

This was the conclusion Viconia had drawn, while being in the tenuous position of driving 50 miles per hour and folding a road-map at the same time. The was nothing outside but a dirt-road and acres and acres of corn-fields. And aside from that hooting Kobold-bikergang that passed them three miles back, they were in the middle of nowhere. This being the hottest day in the year didn't help either... And nor did the fact that her car's airconditioning mysteriously stopped functioning an hour ago. Viconia was getting very irritable by the heat. Her hair and clothes were sticking to her skin and beads of sweat were running down her neck... How do our brethren in the jungles of the south stand this!! She thought, and realized she was too much a citizen of the new world. Poor Vierna wasn't much better off than she was...

"I'm so hot, momma..." She said. "Can I have a cold drink?"

"Sure, little one." Viconia said calmly. "There's still a couple of cokes in the cooler."

Vierna didn't ask twice and took a can from the cooler. After struggling to open the can with her little hands another disaster took place... Half of the cola spurted out of the can and splattered all over the car's interior, as well as Viconia's half-folded road-map.

"Ummm... I didn't do it!" Vierna said while giving her mother an innocent look and sipping the remainder of her cola...

Viconia sighed heavily and bent backwards to throw the half-folded and soaked map in the back of the car.

"MOMMA! The car's on fire!!" Vierna suddenly shouted. As Viconia bent back to the wheel to see what was going on, she saw smoke coming from under the hood. 'Oh, Wonderful...' She thought, while pulling over her overheated car at the side of the road.

As Viconia stepped out of her car, she noticed it was hotter in her car, than it was outside! She took in the situation... 'Overheated car, I know nothing about engines and we're stuck in the middle of nowhere' She thought wryly as she decided to wait for her car to cool down and wished she had taken her chances with the freeway...


Yey, only fifteen minutes later, her luck was changing... In the distance, on the opposite side of the road, a colorful van loomed in the distance. Eventually the van, on which many different paints seemed to flow into eachother, slowed down to a stop. A large rastafarian with cool shades and a many-colored floppy hat stepped out of the car.

"I see you are having a bit of a problem, mon" The man said in a thick Jamaican accent.

"Well, I can only say you have good eyes," Viconia said sarcastically. "And don't call me mon." She added.

The rastafarian held up his arms. "Hey, hey... I am sensing a fair amount of tension here, mon. Oh, that's just a Jamaican pleasantry."

Viconia sighed heavily. "It's not you..." She began. "Ever since I took my daughter on holidays, I've been from one disaster in another..."

"HI!" Vierna suddenly broke in. "I'm Vierna DeVir. Who are you?"

"Well, hey there, tiny squirt... Me name be Gar Jones, mon, and I hail from Kingston-town." The Rastafarian replied with a smile.

"Gar Jones?" Viconia asked suspiciously

"Alright..." Gar sighed. "Me full name be Valygar Corthala, but I think Gar Jones sounds much more relaxed."

"I think you might find some help in the next town, mon. It's about an hour from here. They have a garage with a tow-truck... If you like, I would be more than happy to bring you with my van." Gar offered with a smile.

Normally, Viconia would not even think of stepping into a car with a stranger, let alone with her daughter as well, but the prospect of a car with an airconditioner was too good to ignore... Besides, Gar looked friendly (and harmless) enough.


"Vierna! Keep your head inside the car!" Viconia ordered when she saw her daughter leaning out the window to let the hot air breeze through her long hair.

"Let the kid, play mon." Gar said gently. "There aren't any dangers ahead! It's an empty road..."

"Don't tell me how to raise my child! I don't want to encourage such dangerous behaviour..." Viconia replied sharply.

"Oh, mon, there you go with the tention again..." Gar said, with a smile. "I've got just the cure for that...". Gar pushed a few buttons on the CD-player and the soothing sounds of both Reggae tunes and the singing of Bob Marley boomed through the speakers. Viconia hated to admit it, but she actually felt herself calming down a little. Maybe it was the music and, besides, the van had a working airconditioner and was certainly a lot more spacious than her own car.

"There..." Gar smiled. "Feeling a little better now?"

"Quite..." Viconia replied. "Gar? I wanted to ask you what you were doing here? You're a long way from Kingston."

Gar smiled at her and adjusted his shades. "Well, Jamaica is home and the most beautiful place in the world, but, mon, it's just a tiny island. So, after I had seen all that was to see, I gathered my belongings, sold my house and left to see the world."

"I was saddened to see how stressed people on the mainland are..." Gar said. "People must learn to relax a little more, mon."

Viconia grinned. "So things are pretty calm on Jamaica, eh?"

"Are you kidding, mon. We are so relaxed, traffic control of Kingston airport is an answering machine." Gar grinned and continued, making his already thick accent even thicker. "We can't come to the airport right now... We'se all that the beach... Please land your airplane, after the beep..."

Viconia snickered inspite of herself.

"See, I made you smile..." Gar grinned.


After saying goodbye to Gar, mother and daughter had their car towed in and spend the night at the quaint halfling village. A day later, they finally arrived at their destination...

The salty air of the ocean enflamed their senses as they drove alongside the beach looking for their hotel. Eventually, they found it. The Sunset Inn was a small hotel. It had only three floors, but a large garden surrounded the compound. Viconia had especially picked this hotel, because it was somewhat far away from the areas densely populated with tourists...

When they parked the car and entered the hotel, they were greeted by a short Averial behind the desk.

"H-Hello. I am A-Aerie, owner of this hotel and your host... W-Welcome to the S-Sunset Inn." She said meekly. "M-Might I have your reservation.?"

"DeVir. One adult, one child. Bath and TV. I called ahead we would be a day late." Viconia said, while taking a look at the other guests. There were some humans and halflings, but the other guests seemed like quiet ones. Some elves were sitting at a table, quietly talking among themselves. There was a Mindflayer in shorts, sitting in the corner, nursing a bourbon. Then there was a Kenku sitting on the roof and a burly dwarf in a bermuda shirt sitting on the terrace... At least there weren't any crowds.

"D-D-DeVir..." The Averial stated. "Ah, yes... Here. Your room will be 2-F facing the west..."

Suddenly, a terrified human male bursted from the backroom. He was obviously the handy-man. "Urmm, miss Aerie... I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Excuse me a moment," Aerie said, flashing her best plastic smile at Viconia and dragged the man into her office, where Viconia and Vierna could hear muffled shouting...

"I told you NEVER to interrupt me when I'm with guests!!" The seemingly meek Averial shouted.

Viconia couldn't hear the man's words through the door, but it seemed he was in trouble judging from the Averial's next statement...

"I DON'T CARE about the showerheads!! Now, just get to work and repair them you dumb mother..." The rest of the Averial's statement was obscured by the sound of a breaking vase being smashed against the wall (Or at least Viconia thought
it was the wall...) Mother and daugher shared a look and decided to only use the bath...

The Averial appeared behind her desk again and smiled friendly, even though the feathers of her wings were a bit disheveled. "W-Well, here is your key." she said with a smile. "H-Have a pleasant stay!"

"Oh, I'm afraid that most of our p-private beach has been hired by one of our g-guests," She said while pointing to the window. Looking through it, Viconia noticed a large black dragon laying on his back, wings spread and generally baking in the sun. "H-He lies there all day, and o-only leaves in the evening, but our pool is always o-open, and our tropical bar will be happy to provide you with f-frosty beverages." The Averial said cheerfully. Then she rung the bell on her desk several times...

"Delryn! DELRYN!" The Avariel shouted. A large man in a way-too-small red suit and an even smaller red hat on his head entered the foyer quickly. The Avariel raised her wings, as if taking an attack position, while talking to the man. "Delryn! Go get these ladies' luggage and bring it up to room 2-F... AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!"


"But, I'll not always be a bell-hop, you know." Anomen said. "It's been my life-long dream to become an assistant-manager..." He added excitedly.

"Nice to know your life is going places." Viconia said sarcastically. Of course, the remark went right over his head...

The bell-hop put the suitcases down, but unfortunately, one of the suitcase flew open, spilling clothes all over the floor. Viconia didn't really mind, seeing she had to unpack anyway, but Anomen looked absolutely terrified.

"Please!! Please!!" Anomen cried. "Don't tell miss Aerie. She'll beat me again!!"

Viconia sighed, stuffed her clothes back in the suitcase and podded the spineless bell-hop out of the door after giving him a couple of bucks...


Morning... But it wasn't the rays of the sun on her face that would wake Viconia, but the sounds of cartoons in the next room. The hotel was a sunny paradise with lost of things to do, yet she found Vierna sitting in front of the TV...

"Vierna," Viconia sighed. "We could have stayed at home, if you're only going to watch TV..."

"But momma," Vierna pleaded. "The Space Goofs are on! Look, there's Bud, and Gorgeous..."

Viconia sighed heavily and turned off the TV, suffering loud protests from her daughter."


"How about Furn Gully?" Viconia said while they were standing in front of the I-Max theatre.

"That movie sucks, momma!" Vierna said indignantly. "I wanna see that movie!!" She said while pointing at another poster.

"Deep Blue Sea? You sure? It could give you nightmares!" Viconia said.

"No, momma! I swear." Vierna said excitedly. "Any movie which needs 'adult supervision' has gotta be cool!"

"Alright..." Viconia sighed. After all, it was Vierna's vacation too.


Two hours later, two Drow left the theatre. Vierna was very excited, but Viconia was looking a little pale, even for a Dark Elf.

"Did you see that, momma?" Vierna shouted excitedly. "Did you see the shark bite off that guys' arm! And then that shark just grabbed that guy through the airlock and then another shark came and they ripped him apart?! Sharks are cool!!!"

While Vierna, who was the only one in the theatre actually rooting for the sharks, recited her tales of gruesome death, Viconia was growing more nauseous by the second...

"Hey, look!" Vierna said, while pointing at the sea "The ocean! We'll go swim in the ocean tomorrow, right momma?"

"Uhh..." Viconia said.

"Isn't it big and beautiful, momma?" Vierna began. "And just think how many cool sharks could be in there, just waiting to bite and bite everyone!!" She added excitedly.

Viconia took another look at the ocean and started to drag Vierna back to the hotel... "I'm NOT swimming the ocean tomorrow..." She said. "AND neither are you!!"

"Awww, Momma!!"


Viconia seemed to have lost track of her daughter. She had been playing in the garden all morning, but she wasn't there anymore. She wandered along a dusty track in the dunes, where teenagers were racing with dune-buggies. She noticed a whipping white hair and a familiar giggle coming from one of the speeding buggies. 'Another Drow child?... No, it... Oh, dear gods! VIERNA!!'
She ran to the attendant, obviously a teenager with a summer-job and grabbed him by the lapels...

"You have three seconds to explain what my daughter is doing on top of a buggy!" She menaced.

"Hey, calm down lady..." He said. "She's old enough to drive a buggy!"

"OLD ENOUGH?! She's SIX!!" Viconia screamed.

"S...Six?" The boy panicked. "But...but...but... she said she was TWELVE!!"

"Hadn't it occured to you, that she might be LYING?!" Viconia snarled. "STOP THE RACE!!"

"I... Umm... I have to ask my supervisor," The boy said and ran off.

Vierna was apparently enjoying herself on top of the speeding buggy, but alongside the track, her poor mother was dying a thousand deaths...

When the race, which Vierna managed to win, was over, Vierna ran right towards her mother.

"Momma, Momma!! I won! Did you see it?!" Vierna said excitedly, but took a few steps back when she noticed her mother was boiling with rage...

"Child," She said calmly, but with supressed anger. "If we were home, I would ground you for a month... But I don't have that luxury right now, so you'll be spending the rest of the day in our room."

Vierna sighed in relief. She'd gotten off easy...

"And NO TV!!" Viconia said resolutely.

"Awww, Momma!"


You'd think a Drow female in a bikini would attract less attention. But when Viconia entered the pool-area, she was openly stared at by many hopeful males. Viconia enjoyed the attention, but she liked the fact that all these pathetic males would never have a change with her, even more.

She adjusted the large parasol over her deck-chair, so she'd be completely out of the sun. Drow skin was still incredibly sensitive to intense sunlight.

"Okay, Vierna." She said to her daughter. "Remember, when you get out of the pool, you come over to me, so I can rub the sunblock on your skin again..."

"Sure, momma!"

"And stay in the shallow end!!" Viconia urged.

"Sure momma!" Vierna said. 'Not a chance, momma' She thought and ran off.

"Would you like a frosty beverage, ma'am." A familiar voice said...

Viconia looked up. "Yes, I would..." But the she recognized the man. "Anomen? Why are you wearing those rediculously large shades?" Then she noticed his face. "Do you have a black eye?"

"Urmmm... No..." She replied, trying to repress the memory of Miss Aerie's violent outburst...

Viconia supressed a smirk and took the beverage.

When she saw her mother lay down on her belly, facing the pool and reading a pocketbook, Vierna got a really wicked idea. She jumped in the air, folded her body into a ball and splashed into the pool, completely soaking her mother in the process...

"Oh, it's that old game, isn't it?" Viconia said and smiled wickedly, when jumped into the pool. And so began a cataclysmic splashing match...


After four days of wonderful vacation, mother and daughter returned home. Luckily, the trip back home was uneventful... After parking their car in the garage, Viconia was about to enter her home, but was greeted by Jan.

"Ah, Vicky! Imoen called two days ago. Apparently, the concert was a big success. At the end, she did a stage-dive and was carried halfway through the park! After that, Mick Jagger did the same, but he crashed right into the ground! Imoen said she would call you this evening to tell you about it. And then there was something about a trip to Vegas with your brother..."

"Great, Jan... Great..." But she was eager to get by him, to inspect the state of her house. As soon as she entered the house she was amazed to find her house cleaner than when she had left!

"I'm... I'm amazed... The house is spotless!" Then her eyes narrowed. "Suspiciously spotless..."

"Momma! Uncle Valas is on the phone!!" Vierna shouted, but Viconia was already outside the house, checking the trashcan.

"Gnome? Why are there twenty empty bags of turnip-crisps in the trash?" She asked menacingly.

"V...Vicky... It's not what you think!" Jan tried. "I... I only had some relatives over!"

"Oh? And who might those be?" Viconia asked icily.

"Well, Uncle Lester, Aunt Petunia, Cousin Beeloo, Cousin Kylie, Cousin Urnist, Aunt Polly, Uncle Gerhardt, Uncle Albert, Ma, Cousin Tot and Tat, my brother Jack, my sister Margriet, Cousin Anderlegt, Cousin Gaila... And Joneleth stopped by when..."

"Gnome... YOU DIE!!" Viconia shouted and prepared to chase him out of her house, when Vierna entered the yard..."

"Momma!" She shouted excitedly. "Uncle Valas just called! He and aunt Imoen just got married in Las Vegas!"

"Come again?" Viconia managed, realizing her vacation was definately over...

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