In The Cards

My foster father was both wise and powerful, and as a child I believed him omnipotent, nearly a divinity. Being made to realize that death might claim even him hurt more than I had ever thought possible. And being forced to grow up and shoulder unfamiliar responsibilities…that can also be very painful, necessary as it is.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

Terrible anxiety was eating away at him, gnawing constantly at his heart. Edwin tried his very best to ignore it, but found it quite impossible to do so. He walked through the tunnels of the Cloakwood Mines like a man in a trance, his mind divided into two halves. Only one of them was paying attention to his current surroundings, just barely managing to keep him from tripping over his own feet or walking into walls. The other was far away, trying to penetrate rock and stone and fly across the miles that separated it from the city of Baldur’s Gate. This half was even less successful than its twin, if possible.

The party had entered the mines earlier that day, after liberating the dead mercenary leader who had been guarding the entrance of a very nice pair of enchanted boots. They made their wearer able to outpace a running hare with ease. Khalid was now wearing them; Zaerini had decided that they would best benefit the warrior since they would help him rapidly close with the enemy. Edwin privately suspected that Khalid’s gratitude had more to do with the fact that they would help him run away from the enemy. Not that he really needs any help with that, I think.

Zaerini had cast a simple divination spell on the boots, and then had explained that they were called ‘the Paws of the Cheetah’. Apparently they had once belonged to a skilled assassin who was fond of chasing after his prey on foot. “But in the end”, the bard had said, “I guess somebody must have caught up with him, or the boots wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

Edwin shivered and tried to tell himself that it was all due to the chilly air down here in the dark tunnels. He knew perfectly well that he was lying to himself though. Much as he tried to avoid it, his thoughts were incessantly occupied with the current whereabouts of another assassin, as well as with the probably life-threatening hazards facing said person. It did nothing for his peace of mind. No, I have to stop obsessing over it. It’s…it’s not as if I can do anything to help right now anyway.

But telling himself to be reasonable didn’t work at all. The dreadful worry he had been feeling for his friend and mentor ever since hearing the details of Zaerini’s latest Reading was eating him alive. What is he doing, pitting himself against some hideously dangerous wizard? Then he paused to consider that his teacher was, after all, rather hideously dangerous himself. Well, maybe so. But still…

Edwin sighed deeply. This sort of thing was so much easier to put up with when I was still a child. I hardly ever worried then, I knew that he could handle anything and that everything would be all right. But now…it’s different. True, he probably can handle just about anything but…he’s still mortal, isn’t he? I never used to think about that back then. He sighed again, gaining himself a curious glance from Imoen who was walking closest to him, and he hardly noticed it. If…if he should ever die, I don’t know what I’d…NO! The thought was too hideous to even contemplate, and it made him feel physically ill as he struggled to push it aside. He won’t die, he can’t! I…I won’t stand for it. But that wizard in the Reading, he is a threat. A very dangerous threat, I just know it.

The wizard shivered again as he contemplated his mentor’s tendency to calmly walk into figurative viper pits with the goal of tying all the deadly beasts into knots. Why does he always have to do things like this? And he calls me reckless! Ha! That’s a laugh! When I do something really dangerous it’s usually because I haven’t thought things through. But he always thinks things through, and then he goes and puts himself in mortal peril anyway, because he thinks it’s the logical thing to do. And if I ask him about it he’ll just give me that look and tell me that he’s got everything under control. Well, he always does. But he always works with such narrow margins. It wouldn’t take much of a slip to…NO! Mustn’t think of it, mustn’t think of it…

The party moved on through the mines. The tunnels resembled those in Nashkel, but something was very different. The workers in Nashkel had been terrified of the threat from below, but they had been free men, mostly healthy and well fed. In the Cloakwood mines, slaves did the work. Sad emaciated shapes shuffled here and there, closely watched by brutal guards carrying whips and clubs. The slaves were thin and dirty, their eyes dull and lifeless from all the brutality they had suffered. One of them was coughing up blood, sounding like his lungs were about to hit the walls as well. Edwin felt a growing sense of unease. Slaves were common in Thay, of course. But this…this was so senseless. Such a waste. Why would anybody waste their slaves by treating them like this? Unless he’s very, very sure that he can get as many as he likes. It wasn’t a pleasant thought. The wizard noticed his companions’ growing anger and revulsion as they passed by more suffering slaves, killing one of the armed guards now and then when they had to. It reminded him of something else as well.

Master Dekaras wouldn’t have approved either. He never did like slavery. I…I suppose I can guess why. I remember now he once told me that he had once thought to leave Thay because of it, before I was even born. He never did tell me why he changed his mind though. But I could tell that he really hated the way things were. I always used to wonder how he was able to put up with it when he disliked it so much. But I never dared ask. I think I was afraid he might actually leave after all, if I reminded him.

Edwin was drawn out of his reverie as he almost bumped into Jaheira’s back. It seemed the others had stopped for some reason. Fighting to pull his thoughts together he heard Zaerini speaking with yet another slave. But this man was different, still with some will and pride left. Once he was certain that the adventurers were enemies of the Iron Throne he was only too happy to help them.

“This mine once belonged to a dwarven clan”, the slave explained. “They accidentally broke through into the river, and there was a great flood where most of them drowned. The Iron Throne patched the hole up when they reopened the mine, but it would be possible to bring the water back. There is a plug in the hole, locked in place so that it cannot be removed. The key is kept by Davaeorn. He’s the wizard who’s in charge of this operation, and he stays down at the bottom of the mine. If you could get the key from him and bring it here, I could help you remove the plug and flood the mine once more, causing the Iron Throne a great deal of harm.”

“A flood…” Zaerini said, her golden eyes glowing eagerly in the darkness. “Yes. That does sound like an excellent plan. Almost…as if it were fated to be.” She smiled faintly.

Her Reading! Edwin thought. It’s…it’s coming true already. The flood, she foresaw it. And if that part is true…does that not mean that…that the rest must be true as well?

“One thing though”, the slave added. You must promise to help get the other slaves out first. On the level before this one you will find Rill, in one of the dark cells. He is the one who comes closest to being our leader. Free him, then he’ll help free the rest of us.”

“It is agreed”, the bard said, shaking the man’s hand. “I promise you that you will all be free if it is at all within my power to make it so.”

The man had actual tears in his eyes by now. “I trust you”, he said. “I will pray for your success – and for you.”

It was another hour before the adventurers found the staircase leading deeper into the mine, and by that time they were all exhausted.

“I’m gettin’ a little sleepy”, Imoen said. “How about some rest now, Rini?”

The half-elf sighed slightly. “I suppose we have to”, she said. “I don’t really like the thought of sleeping in here though.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll find us a safe spot. Just wait for me here.” The young thief melted into the surrounding shadows and moved off. She has been getting much better at that, Edwin thought. Much, much better.

When Imoen returned a short while later she looked very pleased with herself and proudly declared that she had found them a perfect spot to rest, an out of the way dead-end tunnel that didn’t look like it had been used in a long time. Once Edwin had set up an illusion spell that would make any passing guards see nothing but a blank wall, they were all set to rest. It was a long time before the wizard fell asleep though. And once he did, his dreams were anything but restful. They did start out pleasantly enough though… Yes. Safe…so safe…

The young wolf cub yawned noisily, his mind still drowsy with sleep. Something had awakened him, he knew not what. It didn’t matter. He was safe and warm, his belly full. Yawning once again with a sort of muffled, yipping sound, he nestled up against the thick fur of his companion. The great black wolf was lying with his muzzle resting against his forepaws, seemingly deep in thought about something. As he noticed the cub stirring he raised his head, giving the young one an amused and affectionate glance. The cub felt even happier at this. The den was snug and comfortable, he was loved and protected. Everything was as it should be. It was as simple as that. He did, however, feel the urge to play, now that he was awake anyway. With mock ferociousness he stalked about the den on short legs, pouncing on imaginary prey, pretending to be as great a hunter as his companion. The black wolf looked on approvingly. He was obviously pleased, and this made the cub happier yet and made his tail wag so rapidly that it was a wonder he didn’t take flight.

Emboldened by this the cub now set his sights on greater, more dangerous prey. Stalking low against the ground, his belly scraping against the dirt floor of the den, he stared at the adult wolf’s bushy tail with wide and unblinking eyes. The black didn’t seem to be noticing. Closer. Closer. Just a little closer and he’d be able to pounce… And then the black wolf twisted around, giving the cub a very meaningful stare. The cub pulled himself to a screeching halt just as he were about to spring, skidded along the floor as he tripped over his own paws and landed between the adult’s huge paws, grinning rather sheepishly. The black sighed with something akin to fond exasperation. With a small yip of excitement the cub starting chasing his own tail instead, until he’d eventually made himself dizzy enough that he fell over. Scrambling to his feet once more he climbed onto the broad back of the adult wolf who had lain down again. The large animal suffered the cub’s nipping and his flailing paws patiently for the most part, only growling slightly now and then to let him know when he got too rough.

And then there was a sound, far away in the distance. The deep, booming sound of a hunter’s horn. The wolf cub ceased his play, suddenly afraid. The great black stood, alert, listening. Then he gently pushed the cub further into the den and slipped out through the entry hole like a living shadow. The cub waited, anxious but not really afraid. Everything would be all right. After some time the black wolf returned, snow clinging to his fur, his muzzle wet with blood. Obviously he had come across one of the hunters. But there were more horns in the distance, many more, and the cub suddenly knew that this den no longer was safe. The black had apparently come to the same conclusion. Jaws capable of easily crushing bone lifted the cub carefully, fangs that could tear the throat of a man open in seconds never even so much as scratching the young one’s skin. Then the large black wolf moved, swiftly bounding out of the den and into the raging snowstorm outside, as the horns sounded ever louder. The cub wasn’t afraid. They were together, and that meant everything would be all right.

No longer a wolf cub, but a small boy, he was resting once more, in another den. The child sighed with content as he buried his cold hands in thick, black fur, pressing close to the great wolf beside him. He was safe once again, his friend and protector nearby. “I knew you’d take care of those nasty old hunters”, he whispered softly, wrapping a thin arm around the large animal’s neck. It didn’t even reach halfway around it. “You can do anything, can’t you?” The black wolf turned his head to look the child in the eyes, calm and confident. “You know something?” the boy said in a conversational tone. “Sometimes I wish I was a wolf too. Then I could really be yours. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

The wolf looked at the boy, and there seemed to be a shadow passing behind the luminous eyes, a dark shadow of sadness. “I…I’m sorry”, the child said. “If you don’t want me to…”

The wolf snorted quietly and gave him a highly impatient look, one that stated louder than words that he was being ridiculous in doubting that he was wanted. The child’s face brightened. “Oh. All right then. Then I think I’ll go on pretending it. It’s nice to pretend sometimes.” The wolf nodded briefly, his tail slowly sweeping against the floor in what might almost have been called a wag.

Horns again, loud and threatening, and closer this time. The black wolf instantly leapt to his feet, snarling, smelling the air. Once again he disappeared into the raging storm, once again he returned, with snow and fresh blood on his coat. But this time he was also favoring his left foreleg slightly, and the boy could see that it was bleeding. The sight terrified him to the core. “No!” he breathed. “No! You can’t be hurt! You mustn’t! That’s not right!”

The wolf made an impatient whuffing noise and nudged the child in the side, indicating for him to climb onto the animal’s powerful back. “But I can’t do that. Not if you’re hurt. You’ll hurt more!” A very soft growl warned him not to protest anymore. The horns were still coming closer. In the end the boy did as he was bid, clinging tightly to the large wolf’s back as the beast sprang from the hidden den. There were some trails of blood in the snow that he could see, but more snow swiftly covered them, and the wolf certainly seemed capable of coping, despite a slight limp. The horns were growing more distant. Besides, we are together. As long as we are together everything will be all right.

Another change of scenery, and he was grown up again. Edwin’s breathing was rapid, as he looked about himself, finding himself in yet another wolf den. The large black wolf was sitting close by his side, snow still clinging to his fur. The animal’s long tongue was visible as he panted, obviously still tired out from the run. The wizard stroked the wolf’s thick fur, checking for injuries, and winced when he saw that the wound was deeper than he had first thought. The wolf glared at him and pulled his leg away, looking somewhat insulted. “I’m sorry”, Edwin said, not really knowing what he was apologizing for. “I just…worry. That’s all. Please try to understand.” The animal gave him a cool look, but allowed himself to be fussed over, at least for a few minutes.

Then the horns sounded again, and this time they were closer than they had ever been. The wolf got to his feet, but this time he looked weary, and the open wound was still dripping blood. If he goes to face them like that he will die, a voice spoke in Edwin’s mind, and he knew it for his own. You are the only one who can prevent that.

How? How can I prevent it? Why are you doing this to me? I thought Ulcaster would only send one of these dreams.

Well, you needed more than that. He set up a sort of…connection for you. You will need it from time to time, in order to keep track of those closest to your heart.

But I…

Hurry now. He’s going, see? This time you need to keep him safe.

The black wolf was walking towards the exit of the den, still limping. The wound was bleeding more now. “No!” Edwin said, planting himself firmly in the way of the animal. “This time, I should be the one to go.”

The wolf gave him an annoyed look.

“I mean it. You’re hurt. You could get killed.”

The wolf was ignoring him, clearly disgusted at the very idea of being coddled. And then Edwin knew what he must do. “Then…then at least let me help”, he said. “You go one way, I’ll go the other. That will make it more difficult for them, won’t it?” He hoped the lie sounded convincing enough. Forgive me. I have to do this. I…I have to.

The wolf paused, considering.

“Go”, the wizard said eagerly. “Go! I’m coming, I’m right behind you.” The black wolf nodded once, briefly. Then he was off, disappearing into the storm in the direction that Edwin had pointed out. The wizard made no move to follow however. Instead he turned and headed the other way, towards the approaching hunters.

He’s gone, Edwin thought, tears freezing to drops of ice on his cheeks. He’s really gone. I’m alone. And nothing will be all right. Not ever again.

The horns were coming closer as the snow whipped painfully against his face. They were almost upon him now, and from far in the distance he could hear the mournful howl of a wolf.