In The Cards

Imps are strange creatures, sometimes hostile, sometimes simply mischievous. The imp to really beware is the one who insists on showing you something 'funny'. You probably won't like it. If you're particularly unlucky the joke will turn out to be on you.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

Zaerini didn't know what exactly she had expected Ulcaster to look like. It certainly wasn't anything like this. She was floating inside what seemed to be some sort of large sphere. A black and starry sky surrounded her on all sides, even far below her feet. She could see actual constellations as well, and even recognized some. The stars were singing. Faint, silvery notes emanated from each one as they slowly turned around each other in an endless dance. The bard hoped she'd be able to remember even a fraction of that song afterwards.

"Amazing," Edwin said in a soft voice. "Though I question the wisdom of having your front door end up in empty space."

"Silly boy," a cackling voice interrupted him. "School set up for Testing, no rooms in usual places." The bard and the wizard turned their heads to see a small creature grinning at them. It was vaguely humanoid in form, with dark red skin, small but sharp horns on its head and a lashing tail with a wicked stinger.

"You're an imp, aren't you?" Rini asked. "Is Ulcaster your master?"

The little creature giggled. "Nimus has many masters," he said and lashed his tail. "Him little hardworking imp, does work masters sets him."

Edwin gave the imp a commanding look, something not very easy to do when floating in empty space. He almost managed to pull it off, but the fact that he started spinning slowly when he tried to move didn't help. "We seek knowledge, imp," he said. "A certain book. 'Dream Magic'. Tell us where it may be found."

"Books inside. Many, MANY books. You try library, maybe?"

"Ulcaster said it would be inside his study," Zaerini said. "Can you tell us how to get there?"

The imp grinned and rubbed its armpits, after which it smelled its own fingers carefully. "Through Tests," it said. "Is only way once Test has started."

"So how do we go about taking these Tests?"

Nimus giggled again and waved his small hand. A door appeared hanging in the air before him. "Through there," he said. "Is lots of fun. Nimus likes watching, seeing students go splash."

"Go splash?" Edwin asked in an apprehensive voice.

"Oh yes. When students fails, tests get very, very messy. Is very funny, but poor Nimus has to clean walls of gunk. That not so funny."

"Particularly for the students. (I'd like to kill Ulcaster for neglecting to mention that little detail if it wasn't for the fact that the bastard is already dead.)"

"We can't do anything about it," Rini said. "We have to go on."

"Not so fast," Nimus said. "First, you become proper students or Tests not work right. Nimus fix. This will be soooo funny!" The little imp muttered something and before either the bard or the wizard had the time to react a swirling rainbow-colored cloud sped towards them and enveloped them entirely. Zaerini tried to cry out but the sound that came out was oddly shrill. The colors were fluttering all around her, pressing in at her like a swarm of maddened butterflies, and her entire body was tingling. She felt…so…strange…

She was lying on her stomach, her nose almost touching the cold stone floor beneath her. Zaerini blinked and raised herself up on her elbows. Funny. There was something about the shape of her hand… Then she gasped. Her hand wasn't her hand anymore. Or rather, it wasn't the hand she'd woken up with this morning, though it was still very much attached to her arm. This hand was small and rather dirty, the nails thoroughly chewed. Her arms and legs were thin, and even more importantly, short. Her body was much smaller than it ought to be, and much flatter. It might as well belong to a boy. And her voice had sounded awfully squeaky…

I can't believe this, the half-elf thought. I'm a child! Without a mirror it was difficult to tell how old she was, but judging by what she could see of herself she ought to be eight or so.

"Oops!" a giggling voice said out of empty air. "Nimus almost forgot…"

And Zaerini felt something like a warm blanket settling around her mind. When the feeling passed she wondered what she'd been thinking before. There was nothing wrong with her. She looked exactly like she was supposed to look, except that she couldn't think why she'd be wearing black leather trousers and a matching vest. It wasn't the sort of thing Gorion would normally let her get away with. Oh, well. She might as well enjoy it while she could. It really looked neat. Like something a grownup would wear.

The little girl got to her feet and looked about her. She was in a large room, completely empty but with several doors leading out of it, illuminated by a soft and pleasant light with no obvious source. There was a large stone statue next to each door, each one portraying a different animal. The closest one was a bear standing on its hind legs, its jaws open and growling, and the next one seemed to be a large dog. No, a wolf. Apart from the doors and the statues the room was quite empty. Quite empty, that was, except for the other person occupying it.

A small human boy was sitting on the floor on the other side of the room, looking rather confused. As he saw the approaching half-elf he hurriedly got to his feet and gave her a suspicious look. He seemed to be her own age, but it was with no little satisfaction that Rini noticed that he was actually shorter than she was. She was so tired of being the smallest child around Candlekeep. Even Immy was taller than she was, and she was younger. It just wasn't fair. The strange boy had dark eyes and tousled black hair that looked like it hadn't seen a comb in days. Rini felt instant sympathy. Her own red locks steadfastly resisted all Gorion's attempts at producing anything faintly resembling neatness. She couldn't really see the point of neatness anyway. It wasn't as if it was going to last. Strangely enough the boy was wearing what seemed to be actual mage robes, colored a rich red. There were a few splatters of black ink on his hands and another on his cheek.

"Hello," Rini said cautiously. She'd learnt the hard way that most of the children at Candlekeep viewed her pointy ears and weirdly colored eyes with extreme hostility. Imoen was her friend, but none of the others really liked her, even when she tried to be nice. Still, if this kid wanted to jump her she was fairly sure she could beat him up, and just standing around staring at him seemed pretty stupid. "I'm Rini. Who are you?"

"I'm Edwin Odesseiron," the boy said, sounding like he expected her to be impressed by this fact. His face fell a little when the half-elf didn't react with anything but a blank look. "Where are we?"

"I'm not sure," Rini said. Now that she thought about it she really couldn't remember how she'd got here. "The last thing I can remember is that I was climbing the tallest apple tree back home when I heard this really odd voice and lost my grip. Then I was here."

"Really?" the boy said. "That's weird. I was doing homework, and I think I fell asleep. When I woke up I was lying on the floor. Now that you mention it, I think I heard a strange voice too." He rubbed absentmindedly at the inkspots on his hand. "And that essay on basic enchantments was due tomorrow too… I've gotta get home or I'll be in big trouble!"

"You're a wizard?" Rini asked.

"Sure! I'm a great wizard! The greatest who ever lived, probably." Edwin struck a dramatic pose, and then he noticed the girl's skeptical look. "It's true! At least it will be once I grow up." He looked at himself with some puzzlement. "I kinda wonder why I'm wearing red though…I'm not supposed to do that till I get older." He watched Zaerini with obvious interest. "Say, you have really strange eyes, did you know that?"

Oh great, the girl thought. Here we go again. "I know that!" she retorted. "I do look in the mirror now and then you know. And if you say anything about how weird or ugly they are, I'm going to hit you. Hard."

"I wasn't going to!" Edwin said. He sounded a little insulted. "Well, they are weird, but not ugly. I think it looks kind of neat, actually. Reminds me of the tiger at home."

"You have a tiger?" Zaerini asked, completely forgetting her anger. "That is so awesome!"

"Well, it's stuffed." Edwin grinned. "But I've put this cantrip on it, so I can make it growl just like a live one. You won't believe how much fun I've had with that."

"I think I do," the half-elf said, her quick mind recognizing the endless possibilities for fun with unknowing strangers. Or Ulraunt… "So what about its eyes then?"

"Oh. Well, its eyes are yellow, sort of like yours, except they're glass of course. That's what you reminded me of. The yellow part, not the glassy part."

"Gee, thanks."

"Are you an elf then? Your ears are sort of pointy…"

"Half-elf."

"Really? I don't think I've ever met a half-elf. Say, is it true that you can see in the dark?"

Rini nodded proudly. "I can see anything that's live and warm," she said. "It's kind of hard to explain. There's this sort of red glow around people that I can see even when it's all dark around."

"That sounds useful."

"It sure is," Rini said, pleased at this opportunity to have her mixed heritage viewed with envy rather than with resentment. "Makes pulling pranks lots easier. I can usually see people coming long before they see me. They never could prove what happened to that cake…"

Edwin sighed. "Wish I could do that," he said. "Then I wouldn't have got detention last week. It wasn't as if I meant for those toads to get into the soup. It was an accident waiting to happen, I tell you."

Rini laughed. And then she cocked her head in surprise at the sound that emerged from the backpack she was wearing. It was a tiny meow, and it was followed by a fluffy black head. A small black kitten crawled out of the pack and into the girl's arms, blinking sleepily at the two children. "Softy!" the girl exclaimed and hugged the kitten who protested loudly. "That's a good kitty!"

Hey! The voice inside Rini's head was small and petulant. Stop squeezing me! Where's my dinner, anyway?

"She's yours?" Edwin asked, a look of total adoration on his face. "She's really yours?"

"Yep," the half-elf said with a big smile and stroked the soft fur. "She's my familiar. Isn't she great?" Something was strange though, Rini thought. She knew that what she said was true, but she couldn't remember exactly when she got her cat. How could she have forgotten a thing like that?

"She really is…" Edwin said. "Wish I had a familiar too. I had a monkey once, but that didn't really work out. I can't believe you have a familiar of your own!" He looked really envious.

"Um…want to hold her a bit? If she lets you?"

"Can I? Really?" The boy eagerly held out his arms to the kitten and held her carefully while he petted her. The kitten started to purr softly.

"So," Rini said after a while, "how d'you suppose we got here? And how do we get back?"

"I guess it's some kind of curse," Edwin said, his small face frowning as he thought the matter over. "But I don't know how it could have happened, and I don't know what curse it is. And that's kind of strange, I know lots of curses. I guess we just have to go on and see where we wind up. Unless it's a dream of course." He reached over and pinched the Rini hard on the arm.

"HEY! What did you do that for?"

"I wanted to see if it was a dream."

"Then you should pinch yourself."

"Why would I do that? That would hurt."

"I'll give you hurt!" The half-elf threw herself at Edwin, knocking him flat on his back. Within seconds the two children were engaged in an informal wrestling match that ended with them rolling all over the floor until they collided with a statue of a large snake. They were more or less evenly matched and all in all the fight was a very satisfying one. Neither got really hurt and when they saw the huge stone snake stare down at them with a disapproving look in its eyes they both broke out in wild giggles.

"Truce?" Edwin asked.

"All right. But you'd better not pinch me again. D'you suppose we ought to go through one of these doors?"

"Guess so. But which one?" The two children wandered around the room, examining all the statues. Eventually they settled upon the snake, mostly because Edwin insisted that snakes meant luck. The door opened easily enough and they went through it with Softpaws once again safely tucked into Zaerini's pack, still bickering about whether the snake statue was supposed to be a cobra or a rock adder. So preoccupied were they that they hardly noticed that the door disappeared behind them, blocking the way back.

The children came out inside a dimly lit chamber, and it took a few moments for them to get their bearings. Then they saw what was inside the room with them and they both screamed like banshees.