In The Cards

Magic may look easy, but there are all sorts of ways for spells to go wrong. Sometimes humorously, sometimes fatally. Of course, practice makes perfect, and the right study partner can do wonders…

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"No, no, no, no, NO! It's pronounced Ego Reflectus. You're saying it all wrong."

"No, I'm not," Zaerini protested and gave Edwin an insulted glare.

"Yes, you are. And you're flailing your arms about like a drunken weather-mill as well. Spell-casting is supposed to be a subtle art, you know. Go ahead, try again. (She'll drive me insane. I know it. How anybody could have the patience to do this tutoring stuff for years, without choosing to jump off a cliff or run off to herd feral goats instead is quite beyond me. Goats would probably be more attentive, in fact.)"

Zaerini gritted her teeth and reached for her bags of spell components. Having Edwin help her improve her magic had seemed like a good idea at first. The Red Wizard was, after all, good at what he did. What she hadn't counted on was the fact that he wasn't really very good at transmitting his own knowledge to others. He knew when something worked, and he knew when it didn't, but he was frequently unable to explain what exactly she did wrong, and he got impatient when she told him so. This was one of those times.

The adventurers had delivered Brage to the temple in Nashkel some days previously and had started on their trek north towards the Wood of Sharp Teeth. Rini intended to check out a couple of interesting landmarks on the way and then see what she could do about the bandits. Working on her magic skills during their rest stops had been her own suggestion, so she and the wizard had gone apart from the others to get some studying done. She'd thought it would be fun, but after failing to cast her new Mirror Image spell for the fifth time and being forced to listen to Edwin's 'humorous' commentary about it all the while, she was about ready to ram her spell-book down his throat if only it would help shut him up.

"Ego Reflectus!" Zaerini snarled and waved her hand as she tossed a small quantity of sparkling white sand into the air. She grinned as she felt the tingle of magic flowing through her arms. Then the grin faltered as she saw those arms. All six of them. The spell had failed again. Instead of creating identical mirror copies of her it had simply replicated her arms, and now she had three on each side, completely identical. Four of them were mere illusions, but they moved in perfect time with her real ones, making her feel quite dizzy.

"Well," Edwin said with an amused smirk. "I've never seen that before. My dear, useful as turning into a marilith could no doubt be, I really wouldn't recommend trying it in a more public place than this. People might stare. (Then again, they do have this interesting way of dressing, or rather not dressing…)"

Rini's yellow eyes narrowed. The wizard looked incredibly smug and satisfied with himself, and she thought it high time to wipe said smugness off that handsome face. And she knew just the way to do it too. "I wouldn't say such things if I were you," the half-elf purred and flexed her fingers, creating an unsettling impression. No, he'd have no way of telling which hands were real. Perfect. The fake ones even felt real.

"No? Why ever not?"

"Because I might just decide to do to you what I've done more than once to Immy when she was being a pest. Are you going to be nice and stop teasing me?"

"Hardly. I'm a Red Wizard, you know. I don't do 'nice'. And besides, I'm having much too much fun."

"Fine. Suit yourself. Then I think it's way past time you got closer acquainted with the Infamous Tickle Torture Of Candlekeep. Prepare to meet thy Doom!" Without further preliminaries the bard pounced on the wizard, tickling him mercilessly. The effect was made all that much greater by all the extra hands. Edwin had about ten seconds of looking alarmed before he was on his back on the ground, giggling and chortling, completely out of control.

"No!" he panted. "Stop…hee…it! I…Ha Ha Ha…can't…* snort * breathe…"

"I don't think so," Rini said. She was sitting on him by now to pin him down. "I'm having much too much fun."

"All… * chuckle * right! I'm…He He…sorry! Now quit it, I can't… Ha Ha…breathe…"

Finally deciding he had suffered enough Zaerini ceased her attacks. All of the extra arms had evaporated by now and she was feeling more than a little exhausted herself after the tussle. With a feeling of boneless weariness she collapsed on top of the wizard's prone body, their noses almost close enough to be touching. He had really nice eyes, she couldn't help but notice, not for the first time. Deep and dark, almost black. She suddenly felt strangely dizzy, as if she were about to fall into them and not be able to climb back out. She must have exerted herself more than she'd meant to.

"So," the bard breathed and blew a lock of red hair out of her eyes. "Changed your mind about being nice to me yet?"

"Er…," Edwin said, sounding rather breathless. "I…"

The prickling sensation of eyes boring into her back made Zaerini turn her head. Slowly, ever so slowly, her eyes traveled upwards, dreading what they might see. A pair of legs in green leggings, planted wide apart with one foot tapping impatiently against the ground. Leather armor. Arms firmly crossed over the chest. Golden hair, the color of a lions fur, just touching the strong shoulders. A firm and strong-featured half-elven face, set in a stony glare, with cool green eyes shooting daggers at the pair on the ground.

"Er…Hello Jaheira," Rini said with a weak smile. Beneath her Edwin made a strangled noise in the back of his throat as he too noticed the druid.

"Hello, children," Jaheira said in an expressionless voice. "And what, may I ask, are the two of you up to?"

"Er…," Rini said, her mind frantically racing around in circles like a decapitated hen. "We're…uh…studying. Yep, that's it. Studying."

"Studying."

"Uh huh."

"Yes," Edwin blurted out. "That's it. Of course. We…we were in the middle of some very delicate casting here, I'll have you know. In fact, you're lucky you didn't interrupt us a little earlier or…or the energies unleashed might well have torn you to pieces. (Good one. That should do it.)

"Is that so?" Jaheira said, the hint of an amused smile playing around the corners of her full mouth. "Well, if that was a typical Thayvian study session I think it was a good thing I did not interrupt you a little later, or somebody would certainly have been torn to pieces." She patted the hilt of her scimitar. "I came to tell our fearless leader that I think we should be moving on. It is starting to get late, but if we start now we can still reach Firewine Bridge before nightfall." She turned to walk off, and as she did Zaerini could almost swear she heard the druid laugh quietly to herself and mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'studying'.

Three interesting old ruins lay on the way between Nashkel and Beregost, ruins with names that Rini had been fascinated by since early childhood. Since she was in the area anyway she planned to visit at least two of them, the two she thought herself capable of handling. Firewine Bridge. The School of Ulcaster. Dulrag's Tower. The Dark Tower of Durlag would have to wait, she wasn't foolhardy enough to enter that dreaded place just yet. But by all accounts the old Firewine Bridge ruins had been empty and abandoned for years and should pose no great threat. And there might still be some valuables left behind.

The party reached the Firewine Bridge just as the sun was setting. The Firewine River had long been dry, only the cracked and dry riverbed remained, a deep wound through a rocky and infertile landscape where only cacti and weeds seemed to thrive. The Bridge itself was a huge structure. It stood out in stark relief against the burning sky like a large black beast, crouching and ready to leap. As the adventurers drew nearer they found that this beast was old and weak, snarling with gaps between its pointed teeth. The dark stone of the bridge was chipped and cracked, in places large parts of the railings were missing entirely. From the massive arches, taller than the tallest building Rini had yet seen, large blocks of stone had fallen, smashed to fine dust against the bridge.

"Are you s-sure this is s-s-safe?" Khalid asked nervously.

"Well, no," Rini admitted. "But then again, what is? And it is the only way to the ruins on the other side, unless we want to climb down to the riverbed."

An unearthly wail drifted up from the riverbed as if in answer to this statement, a scream from many inhuman throats. It was a sound to make the blood run cold as ice-water through the veins. The adventurers looked across the railing to see a large group of undead milling about below. Skeletons mostly, with some ghouls and ghasts mixed in. The sun had just sunk beneath the horizon and more undead were digging their way out of the ground by the minute.

"O-on s-s-second thought," Khalid said, "the b-bridge doesn't look a-all that b-b-bad an option."

"Right," Edwin said. "I say it's a good bridge. A nice bridge. So it's falling to pieces a bit. Everybody has bad days, don't they?"

The bridge seemed to appreciate this flattery and refrained from falling to pieces any more as the adventurers started crossing it. Still, what was already done couldn't be undone. Halfway across they came to a wide crack where the bridge had broken in two. Fortunately some helpful person had laid a plank across the gap. It wasn't a particularly wide plank, though. In fact, it was downright narrow. The undead had been following the party's progress across the bridge closely, running along beneath it in an effort to keep up. Now they gathered beneath the hole, their dead eyes filled with hungry eagerness.

"Let's go," Zaerini said. "Before any of them figure out that they can get on to the bridge by doubling back and climbing out of the riverbed. It looked rather shallow at the other end." At her words a few of the skeletons turned their heads upwards eagerly, and then started back towards the edge of the river.

"Oh, well done," Edwin said. "You just had to go and say that, didn't you? Why don't you tip them off about cooperating in climbing while you're at it?" The skeletons took this advice eagerly and started climbing onto each others backs, rapidly forming a swaying skeletal tower that was starting to reach for the hole in the bridge.

"Will the two of you," Jaheira bellowed, "please stop giving them hints and move instead?"

The bard and the wizard gave each other a look. "Think we should?" Rini asked and flipped her red hair across her shoulder.

"Oh, eventually," Edwin replied with a sly grin. "Once we've finished our discussion. And counted all the stars in the sky. And once the druid learns to take a joke. (That should keep us busy for a few millennia.)"

Rini grinned. "And amused as well," she said. Then she winked at the now quietly fuming druid. "Go on, Jaheira," she said. "We're coming, we were only ruffling your fur a little."

The druid sniffed and walked across the plank, never looking down or paying any outward attention to the climbing skeletons beneath. Khalid followed her, trembling and weak-kneed. He was in great danger of losing his balance more than once, and likely would have done so if the more agile Imoen hadn't been right behind to help keep him steady. Edwin was next, and Zaerini was surprised to see how easily he moved. He really was a lot more dexterous than she'd thought.

I wonder how he'd do without those robes hindering him, she thought.

Probably not too badly, Softpaws commented as she ran across the plank like a smoothly flowing black ghost. The male has some inborn grace I think. But don't you think he'd get a little cold without anything on?

Softy! That is not what I meant and you know it!

Do I? Now get on with it, kitten. Everybody's waiting for you and those nasty bones are almost up to the hole. And hunting prey with no meat on is such a complete waste of time.

Right. Coming.

Zaerini stepped onto the plank and started walking across it. She'd never been afraid of heights, and she was very good at keeping her balance. Under normal circumstances this shouldn't have been a problem. However, the skeletons had by now almost reached the plank. Bony fingers were reaching for her, grasping for her ankles. They were icy to the touch.

Please let it work this time, the bard thought as she reached for her spell components. "Ego Reflectus!" she screamed, and this time she got the spell right. Six identical copies of herself were suddenly present, moving as one with her, making her hurried scramble across the plank seem like some sort of coordinated dance number. The skeletons were confused and started flailing wildly about, unsure of which redheaded half-elf to go for. The tower of bones started swaying, then toppling…and then it fell. A cloud of bone-dust rose into the air as the skeletons hit the stony ground beneath and were smashed to pieces. "Yes!" Rini cried out. "What's the matter you undead creeps? Forget that the leg-bone's supposed to be attached to the hip-bone?" She kicked the plank down after her to the block the way. The small group of skeletons charging across the bridge behind her made a panicky effort to stop, but it was too late. They tumbled across the edge after their companions, and more bones were scattered across the rocks. Then all was quiet, and not a single skeleton remained animated.

"Wow," Imoen said reverently as she looked across the bridge railing. "That sure is a lot of bones…"

"Quite," Edwin agreed. He gave Zaerini an approving look, divided between her and her mirror images. "And I see you finally managed to get the spell to work. I thought you would, eventually, given the proper…motivation. (I could get used to this teaching thing, I think. Very satisfying.)"

"Glad you think so," Rini said with a cheerful smile, or rather seven cheerful smiles. "What's next on the schedule?"

"Well, we'll keep on going over the basics. And then once you get good enough, maybe some mutual research? (I always wanted to learn those tricky demon summoning spells…)"

"Sounds great to me."

"I am sure it does," Jaheira said in a suspiciously innocent voice. "You seem to be very enthusiastic about…studying…these days."