In The Cards

Fairs and carnivals are wondrous, magical places. You expect strange things to happen at the carnival, and so it is a also a perfect workplace for thieves, con-artists and rogues of all kinds. If you're good enough, you can even make the mark applaud you once you've finished with him.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"So where do we go first?" Imoen asked, almost bouncing with eagerness. "The games? Or the shops?"

"The performers", Zaerini said. "I want to check out the competition." She wished she'd had something flashy to wear for once. Her faded blacks were all very well when it came to life on the road, but by this time they were kind of tattered and dusty. Perhaps she could pick up something new here. The performers mostly had gathered near the western edge of the fairground. The applause and laughter could be heard from a great distance, as could the voices of the artists promoting themselves.

Watch as I make myself disappear!

Come see me swallow flaming knives!

He explodes - and lives again!

There were wooden stands for the audience, erected in front of the sandy piece of ground that functioned as an arena. Pretty flowers bordered it, but they were overshadowed by the performers strutting about the 'stage'. Jugglers, acrobats, knife-throwers, fire-eaters, all of them hard at work. Rini had to stand still for a moment to take it all in, a wide grin slowly spreading across her face. This is paradise, she thought. It was at that precise moment that the poet came walking up to her, seemingly determined to ruin her day.

The poet was very pale, and dressed all in black, which was not a good color for him. He had watery blue eyes and a rather vapid smile. He also smelled as if he hadn't changed his clothes since early puberty. Like a blood-sucking leech he attached himself to the group of adventurers and started reciting.

"...and there she lay, pale and bloodless at my side!
    Woeful be the path of the elves, said I.
    Woeful be the path of all who trod this glade,
    for Nosferatu's once-fair love--
         has died, oh she has died...

...'midst coffers full and coffins bare,
    there came the fearsome devil-bat!
    Red blood, red eyes, and ruddy hair
    but none more red
         than two sharp teeth that glistened there..."

He bowed. "There ends Galahynne's last and best-loved work, "Nosferatu." And now I'll recite some of my own work for you:

"Out of shadows, black as night
Hidden well from human sight
Lethal hunter, seeking prey
By moon's pale light, and not by day

Scream cut short by spurt of blood
Who can quell that crimson flood?
Soft whisper puts you in a daze
To crave Vampire's cold embrace…"

"Wow…" Imoen said. "You sure like vampires, don't you?"

"I love vampires", the poet gushed. "Creatures of the night, so beautiful and powerful, they are truly an inspiration to me."

"And have you ever actually seen one?" Zaerini asked.

"No…but I hope I will, one day. It is my fondest desire." His eyes became even more vacant than before and he started sweating a little.

"I see", Edwin said with a small smirk. "And this would of course have nothing to do with the fabled ability of the vampire to erotically entrance its prey?"

The poet's cheeks suddenly turned violently red. "Certainly not!" he said in an outraged voice. "You insult my Art by implying such things! You…you barbarian! Prancing around here with your little tarts!"

"You know", Rini said in a deadpan voice, "I don't think it's possible to add further insult to your 'Art'. Now let me quote something to you, straight out of one of the Bard's masterpieces. 'Thou, sir, art like unto the exudations of the bean-lover. Loud and noxious, pollution of sweet air undeserving of such cruelty." She allowed herself a slow and leisurely smile. "In case your limited vocabulary kept you from understanding the words of the Master I'll translate. I just called you a fart. Is that simple enough for you? Or should we resort to more physical arguments? This 'tart' is nothing if not flexible." She put her hand on Varscona's hilt.

"Allow me to add", Edwin said, "that any self-respecting vampire would probably have to be starving as well as without any sense of smell before it decided to snack on you. The news may not have reached everybody this far west, but in Thay we have developed this habit of occasionally doing something we call 'washing'. (I would mention soap, but I fear that concept would put too great a strain on his already overheated brain.)"

"Yeah!" Imoen huffed. "So…so there! You big creep, you!"

The poet looked even paler than before and he crept off without uttering another word. "Phew", Rini said and wrinkled her nose. "That was annoying."

"Yes", Edwin agreed. "And yet also satisfying. (She certainly has some natural aptitude for creative insulting. Very interesting.)"

"Thanks", Rini said with a bright smile that caused the Red Wizard to look more than a little awkward. "That's a very nice thing to say, you know. I really mean that." She paused to clear her throat. "So…how about taking a look at that exploding ogre we heard mentioned earlier?"

The 'Exploding Ogre' act was run by a mage who called himself 'The Great Gazib' of all things. A skinny man with slightly manic eyes he summoned up a creature that he named 'The Amazing Oopah'. Oopah looked and behaved like an ordinary ogre, except for the small detail of exploding into tiny pieces of gunk immediately after being summoned.

"Oh yuck!" Imoen said. "The poor thing…"

"Don't you worry, little lady", the mage assured her. "He's trained to do this. Doesn't mind it one bit. Fun for the whole family! Now, let's try that crowd pleaser one more time."

"Fascinating", Edwin said, looking very interested indeed. "How did you accomplish that adaptation of the common conjuring spell? Is it to do with air friction and setting the runes for a higher entry speed?"

"Now, now", Gazib said with a secretive smile. "I can't be expected to give all my trade secrets away, can I? But for just ten more gold you may examine the procedure to your hearts content, good colleague!"

Edwin immediately started haggling over the price, claiming that since the novelty had worn off the sum should be reduced. Rini tuned his voice out and idly watched some other performers. Some jugglers caught her interest, a group of people in silver facial masks who were performing some distance away. One young woman skillfully tossed flaming torches high into the air, a rotund gnome worked with clubs. A tall fellow a little further off was nonchalantly spinning a large assortment of sharp knives through the air, along with what seemed to be an apple. He then proceeded to peel, cut and eat the apple while keeping the knives flying. Now that's a trick I'd like to learn, Rini thought admiringly. Just then her thoughts were interrupted by a large 'BOOM' as Oopah exploded once again.

"Hm", Edwin said, "I think I have it now. Just the one more time and I will know for sure. (Yes, I always thought I would be admirably suited for magical research. And this time there will be no constraints put on my natural inquisitiveness either.)"

Gazib licked his lips and looked just a little bit nervous. "You're either a die-hard fan or a sadist, friend...", he said. He started the summoning spell but interrupted himself before it was quite finished and started whispering to the empty air beside him. "(No, Oopah, just one more, one last one, then you can go back to the tent... Oopah, put the weapon down -- Oopah?) AAaeee!" With a furious roar the large ogre materialized again. This time he didn't explode, however. Instead he seized Gazib with one large hand and swiftly snapped the mage's neck with a sound reminiscent of a breaking twig. Then he threw the lifeless body to the ground and turned around to look for other victims.

"Scram!" Imoen screamed. "Mad ogre incoming!" She immediately took her own advice, the bard and the wizard following her example in an effort to get far enough away from the raging ogre to be able to safely use spells and arrows.

"Maybe…", Edwin panted as he ran, "just maybe…I should have been satisfied with two experiments…"

"Oh you think so, do you?", Rini snarled as she dodged a club blow that would have smashed her head like an egg. "Whatever…gave you… that idea?" Imoen had managed to get behind some empty barrels and was firing her bow as quickly as she could. The ogre had taken a few hits, but that hadn't slowed him down much. Zaerini managed to get off one of her own arrows, one of the poisoned ones, and Oopah screamed with pain as it hit him in the shoulder. One of Edwin's Magic Missiles struck him at the same time, but he still kept coming. I just have to keep him away until the poison has the time to finish him, Zaerini thought and drew her sword. She didn't really like the idea of going into close combat with an angry ogre, but she didn't seem to have much choice. The half-elf raised her sword with trembling hands and sent a silent prayer to Tymora. It couldn't hurt. Edwin frenziedly began the casting of another spell, but it was taking too long. The ogre roared again and started raising his club. Then he whimpered with sudden pain as something struck him hard on the nose and made it start bleeding. The whimper turned into a moan as the poison from the arrow worked its way through his system and he sagged to the ground, quite dead.

Wow, Tymora works fast these days, Rini thought.

"What…", Edwin said as he picked up the object that had hit the ogre. It was an half-eaten apple. "Where did…"

Zaerini looked hastily in the direction of the jugglers. They were all bowing to the audience after having finished their performance, but if the knife-juggler was among them she didn't see him, nor did she see that silver mask anywhere else in the crowd. "Never mind", she said. "Just somebody trying to be helpful I guess. Let's check out the tents instead, I feel like getting away from these crowds for a while."

The half-elf sheathed her sword again and pushed towards the now heavy and very interested crowd towards some tents in the distance, Imoen close behind. Edwin lingered behind for a moment, and he gave the apple a very suspicious look before he put it in his pocket. As he did so he could feel something else inside the pocket, something that certainly hadn't been there before. It was a note, brief and to the point, and he was very familiar with the handwriting. The message was short and would have been difficult to understand for unwanted eyes.

Brain Locust after sunset. Be discreet.

It wasn't signed, of course, but the Red Wizard knew who had left it and that he had better comply. He would simply have to find a way to do so or suffer the consequences.

Meanwhile Jaheira was mostly satisfied with the results of her shopping expedition. Having refreshed herself with a decent glass of mead she'd preoccupied herself with selling off some unwanted gear. Several merchants had set up temporary shop at the fair, and among all the rubbish they sold to their less discerning customers there were also some fairly decent items. After some persuasion their prices had dropped from ludicrous to reasonable. Jaheira had started off with replenishing her stack of healing potions. Then she had bought herself a new pair of boots, slightly enchanted ones that would let her feet feel the soil whenever she wanted, and touch the currents of the earth to help her find her way. She didn't intend to get lost again. She'd also been able to find a new bow for Imoen, one that would help her fire her arrows at greater speed. The girl was getting good, but a little extra help couldn't hurt. But the greatest prize so far had been the necklace. She had had to haggle for a long time to get the prize down, but it was worth it. The necklace would fire balls of flame from a distance, and Jaheira thought it was just the sort of thing Zaerini would find useful. It should come in handy in a battle, as long as the girl didn't kill herself with it.

Still, Jaheira thought, she is very intelligent, if impulsive. And this thing will hopefully help her stay alive, and help me keep my promise to Gorion. Oh, my old friend, how did you ever manage to keep that child in line? Sometimes it feels as if I am trying to grasp a moonbeam or catch a drop of quicksilver. But despite her youthful foolishness she has a good heart, I think. I believe I would try my best to aid her even if it were not for your sake.

The druid finished her purchase and exited the tent to find Khalid and Xan talking to another merchant, this one a dwarf dressed all in dark green and with a large hood on his head. His brown beard had been carefully braided. "Yes, come one, come all!", he cried out in a loud and rather annoying voice. "Take a look at the stone warrior maiden. How long has she been trapped in this petrified form, no one knows! Be the first to learn, for the mere price of 500 gold. For that small amount of money, I shall give you a magic scroll, and with this scroll you can release the maiden from her stone prison. Think of the gratitude she would feel to her saviours. Perhaps she's a princess from some far off land, or maybe a powerful sorceress in search of a concubine. You can't afford not to know! Buy the scroll!"

Jaheira now noticed a stone statue some distance behind the dwarf, a statue of a young woman with a look of surprise and anger on her face, her hands half raised as if to defend herself. With a strong wave of disgust the druid realized that this was no real statue at all, but a human woman petrified by magic. And here this miserable merchant was trying to profit off her tragedy! "You have a scroll to release this woman?" Jaheira asked, her voice flat. "And you have not done so yourself?"

The dwarf saw the look on the druid's face and his face turned almost as green as his hood. "Er…", he said. "Just trying to…er…cover my expenses? It cost me quite a bit to buy her off that mage…"

"B-b-buy her?" Khalid asked, his voice filled with outrage. His normally kind eyes were almost black with anger and his cheeks were flushed. "That i-is m-m-m-monstrous!"

"Not to mention illegal", Jaheira added with a thin smile as she fingered the hilt of her scimitar. "I am sure the guards at this fair would have something to say about that. Now. Hand. Me. That. Scroll." The dwarf took one look at the druid's dark scowl and hurriedly thrust the scroll into her outstretched hand. Then he ran off as quick as his legs could carry him.

"Good riddance", Jaheira muttered before unrolling the scroll. At least the thing seemed genuine, she had been half afraid the scoundrel had been trying to sell her a forgery. As she read the scroll the uniform grey of the statue transformed into living colors. Gold and brown, green and blue. At last a living, breathing woman stood before the three adventurers, looking quite exhausted and very much confused. She was a tall woman, blond and blue-eyed, with the look of a Northener about her, and she was quite full-figured. Xan certainly looked impressed with what he saw, and for once his face had lost that look of despair. Khalid gave the strange woman a quick look and then he winked slowly at his wife as if to let her know that he knew exactly what she was thinking. Jaheira sighed a little. She loved him and trusted him completely, and she knew that he considered her the most desirable female on the face of Faerun. But she also could never shake the feeling that every other woman they met might see the same gentle strength that she saw in him and try to take him for herself. Not that Khalid would ever betray his wife, but even the thought of some woman trying to tempt him was enough to make Jaheira see red.

"Curse you, Tranzig!" the blonde woman bellowed. "I will…I…" She paused and looked about herself with wonder. "What sorcery is this?" she said. "Where did…oh…I remember." She bowed to the adventurers, and winced with pain as she did so. "I am Branwen, a War-priest from the Norheim isles. I have been trapped in stone for what seems like an eternity. You have saved me, and for that I owe you my life. I am indebted to you and by Tempus I leave no debt unpaid! Let me join whichever cause you're fighting for, I should make a valuable ally and bring the favor of the Lord of Battles upon us."

"How did you come to be trapped in stone?" Jaheira asked after having introduced herself, Khalid and Xan. The woman's face was more than proud, it was stiff with arrogance. The druid couldn't bring herself to like her, valuable ally though she might be. Besides, the blonde was staring at Khalid with great interest. And it wasn't as if she couldn't handle the healing the group needed by herself.

"I ran afoul of a mage", the priest said and spat on the ground. "Tranzig was the foul dog's name, an employee of a mercenary group. He cursed me into living death. I shall see him dead before I see the shores of home again!"

"I see", Jaheira said, deciding not to mention just yet that she knew where Tranzig might be found. "The decision on who comes with us does not rest with me alone, however. I must first speak with the leader of our group."

The blonde woman nodded. "That is proper", she said. "No doubt another powerful warrior of great renown." She gave Khalid a wholly unnecessary smile.

"No doubt", Jaheira said in her driest voice. "We will meet her later tonight and see what she has to say." And perhaps I can manage to hand her that Fireball Necklace before the meeting. She would not kill you, but I think a little fire applied to your backside might aid you in keeping your eyes to yourself.