In The Cards

Parents. You don't get to choose them yourself, the way you do your friends. Sometimes the things they pass down to you are good, like a gift for languages, or intelligence, or good looks. Some of us aren't that lucky though, and get passed something else entirely.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

The woods were still and quiet, even the birds drowsy in the midday sun. The sun was high in the sky, penetrating to the soft and mossy ground beneath the trees only in speckled patterns of light and shadow, reminiscent of the fur of a leopard. It was a beautiful day, calm and peaceful, and yet Khalid felt as if dark thunderclouds were gathering on the horizon, just out of sight. That he could have dealt with, but he feared that the storm about to break loose was going to be worse than any mere change in weather.

The adventurers had paused near the edge of the forest, some distance away from the Nashkel Mines. Jaheira was sitting on a fallen log next to her husband, looking as at home in the wilderness as any dryad. And yet, as Khalid surreptitiously touched her hand he could feel it tremble slightly. The moment they had been preparing for was upon them, and he could tell that his love was as uneasy about it as he was, though she did a better job of hiding her feelings.

Khalid wiped his face, certain that his anxiety must be evident for all to see, as it so frequently was. He never had been good at concealing his emotions. As he looked up he saw Imoen give him a curious look from her perch on a mossy rock, and not for the first time he wondered what had made her dye her hair that shocking shade of pink. Still, it suited her in a way, with her innocently cheerful demeanor. He felt a sudden surge of protectiveness, a desire to keep her out of harms way, to keep her from knowing the truth. But it could not be helped. She would never allow them to keep her out of the discussion.

The half-elven warrior turned his slightly and was surprised to meet the scrutinizing gaze of the Red Wizard. Edwin had remained standing, leaning against a great pine with his arms folded across his chest. He looked intensely concentrated as he watched the others, almost as if he was in the midst of some magical experiment. His face was a motionless mask, but his eyes burned with some suppressed emotion. He knows, Khalid thought. Maybe not all, but some of it. Or he guesses, at least. Well, there is no help for it now. They will all know in a moment.

Finally, Zaerini. The young half-elf was sitting on the ground, her legs crossed beneath her and her familiar resting in her lap, her chin resting in her hands as if she were a child preparing to listen to a story. And she is young, Khalid thought, much as she hates to be reminded of it. Her elven blood makes her mature more slowly. But then the…other…may counter that. He gave the girl what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and was gratified to receive one in return. It reminded him of another sunny day, several years ago. He and Jaheira had gone to meet Gorion in Candlekeep, and see his young charges for themselves. Zaerini couldn't have been more than six or seven years old, Imoen a couple of years younger. Imoen had been brought in first and easily charmed the two visitors with her sunny smile and happy chattering. Then Gorion had asked one of the servants to send for his foster daughter. The wait had been a long one. Then, just as Khalid had thought he was going to fall asleep with boredom, a fiery red head peeked around the door, a pair of unblinking golden eyes staring suspiciously at the two strangers from beneath her tousled fringe.

I didn't do it, the half-elven child immediately told her father. It was an accident, really! I've been framed! Set up! It's a miscarriage of justice! Khalid remembered being amazed at such a young child displaying such a large vocabulary.

Gorion had simply sighed as if he were all too used to similar scenes. Child, he had said, why don't you tell me your side of the story?

Well, the child had said, her eyes glittering with remembered mischief, I was chasing rats with Immy and Dreppin out by the stables when Ulraunt came by looking all stiff and grouchy as usual. He said that I wasn't being 'lady-like' and that there were mousetraps to handle things like that. Then he sort of twitched his fingers and swatted me with a spell. She rubbed her obviously still aching behind, a highly indignant expression on her young face.

And…?

And then after he fell asleep in his office I sneaked inside and stuffed the pockets of his robes full with mousetraps and put poison ivy in his pouches of spell components, Zaerini had said with a proud grin. Guess that will teach him to keep his fingers to himself, won't it?

A violent scream of pain had shaken the foundations of the massive library fortress at that precise moment, causing Khalid to wince. Apparently Ulraunt had awakened.

We will discuss this later, child, Gorion had said. Now I would like you to come greet our guests.

H-hello child, Khalid had said, taking care to speak in a quiet voice so as not to frighten the child. Assuming this child could get frightened of course. I am Khalid. W-what is your n-name?

Hi! The girl smiled again, the expression flashing rapidly across the small face like a sudden lightning bolt. I'm Rini, and when I grow up I'm gonna be a really great adventurer and go all around the world, and visit other planes, and see pirates, and monsters, and demons, and I'm gonna have a Red Dragon all my own and…

Child, Jaheira had said, Red Dragons are incredibly dangerous. I am sure you would not be able to handle one.

Yes, I would, Zaerini had said, sticking her tongue out. I can if I say so, and he's gonna be my friend, but he's gonna flame you unless you're nice to me. Then she had stuck her thumbs in her pointed ears, wiggled her fingers in Jaheira's direction and run out of the room, giggling wildly.

Things hadn't changed all that much since then, Khalid mused. The girl was still contrary and hot-tempered, and Jaheira was still trying to prod her in what she considered to be the right direction, failing more often than not. He had tried to speak with his wife about that being the wrong way to go about things, but Jaheira simply wouldn't listen. She would have to learn by herself then, assuming all went well today.

"It is as you have already guessed", Jaheira started. "We are Harpers, Khalid and I, and so was Gorion. He was a good man, one of the finest I have known. And so when he told us a strange and disturbing story we trusted him, though many people would not have."

"Story?" Zaerini asked. "What was this story?"

"I am getting to that. But first I must ask you something. What, if anything, do you know about your parents?"

The bard frowned. "Not much", she said. "Gorion never wanted to speak about them." Her face became very serious. "I know that my mother died as I was born", she said, a small catch to her voice. Imoen immediately moved closer and squeezed her friend's hand, receiving a grateful smile in return. "But Gorion told me nothing else about her, not even her name. I knew that he wasn't my real father, of course, though I always loved him as one. As for who sired me, I have no idea."

Jaheira took a deep breath and hauled something out of her pack. A letter. "Of your mother I know nothing", she said. "I swear it on the Balance itself. As for your father…your biological father…that is the story I was referring to. Gorion told us, and made us swear to keep it a secret until he thought you were ready to handle the truth."

Zaerini bit her lower lip anxiously. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this…", she said in a voice that was trying to sound flippant but couldn't quite keep the fear from seeping through. "All right. Let's hear it."

For a reply Jaheira simply handed her the letter. "The truth is in there", she said. "You will recognize Gorion's handwriting, I take it? When he knew that you were both in danger, when he decided to leave Candlekeep, he sent that letter to me and Khalid, along with the one arranging for us to meet you at the Friendly Arm. He would have known he might not survive, and if you were forced to flee without him he wanted us to tell you what we knew, once we judged it prudent to do so."

Zaerini took the letter and unrolled it without saying a word. Then she read it, golden eyes rapidly scanning the page. As she read her face grew as white as a sheet, those eyes the only hint of color within it. Her mouth moved soundlessly for a second, forming unheard words. Then she jumped to her feet. "It's…true", she whispered. "I…I can feel it. I have dreamt it." She laughed quietly, a mirthless and hollow sound. "And here I wondered how come I was so good at killing", she whispered. "Daddy's girl, that's me I guess."

"Rini?" Imoen asked, her voice trembling. "Rini, what's going on? You're scaring me!" The bard simply handed her the short letter without replying. Khalid knew what it said. He had read it enough times to know it by heart.

Hello Zaerini,

If you are reading this, it means I have met an untimely death. I would tell you not to grieve for me, but I feel much better thinking that you would. There are things I must tell you in this letter that I might have told you before. However, if my death came too soon then I would have never been given the chance. First off, I am not your biological father, for that distinction lies with an entity known as Bhaal. The Bhaal that I speak of is the one you know of as a divinity. In the crisis known as the Time of Troubles, when the Gods walked Faerun, Bhaal was also forced into a mortal shell. He was somehow forewarned of the death that awaited him during this time. For reasons unknown to me, he sought out women of every race and forced himself upon them. Your mother was one of those women, and as you know, she died in childbirth. I had been her friend and on occasion, lover. I felt obligated to raise you as my own. I have always thought of you as my child and I hope you still think of me as your father. You are a special child. The blood of the Gods runs through your veins. If you make use of our extensive library you will find that our founder, Alaundo, has many prophecies concerning the coming of the spawn of Bhaal. There are many who will want to use you for their own purposes. One, a man who calls himself Sarevok, is the worst danger. He has studied here at Candlekeep and thus knows a great deal about your history and who you are.

Gorion

"So", Zaerini said. "Not just the child of a rape, but the daughter of Bhaal, the daughter of Murder. "No wonder people want me dead. Frankly I'm amazed you haven't tried to kill me already, Jaheira, you being a Harper and all, Gorion or not." She turned to leave. "I…need to be alone for a while", she said. "To…think about things."

"You should not be on your own", Jaheira said.

"Why?" the bard asked. "Afraid I might kill myself? Or somebody else? Would you like to keep me on a leash, perhaps? Well, that won't happen." She dashed into the forest and disappeared between the trees, raking her arm angrily across her eyes. To clear away unwanted tears, Khalid thought. He wanted to go after her with all his heart, but he feared to do so. In her current state he might very well make things worse.

Spawn of Bhaal, Zaerini thought. So that is who I am. What I am. She lay on her stomach, her face buried in her arms, and she was shaking wildly with silent tears. She recalled the terrible fury that would grip her at times, the bloodlust, the urge to kill. Those assassins back in Candlekeep, the ones she had more or less torn to bits. The blood of my sire calls out to me. And sometimes…sometimes its song is so sweet, so tempting. Oh, Gorion! Why didn't you tell me? How could you love me? I'm a beast. A monster.

A monster that he was ready to die for? Softpaws seated herself on the half-elf's shoulder, nuzzling her ear. Must be some monster.

Rini reflexively reached up and pulled her familiar closer towards her, resting her face against the silky smooth fur. The cat didn't squirm or fuss, but simply gave her an affectionate nudge with a paw. You are the same as you always were, Softpaws said. Nothing has changed, except that you know more of yourself than you did.

How can you say that? I'm a Child of Murder!

You are my kitten. Cats care not for dead gods, and neither should you. You will be what you want to be, not what your sire was. A cat chooses her own path, remember?

I…remember. I've been a fool, haven't I?

You are a kitten. Kittens are always foolish. Now let's go back before the others send a search party out.

As Zaerini made herself back to the rest of the group she was immediately assaulted by a sobbing Imoen who flung herself into her arms, giving her a fierce hug.

"Oh Rini!" The human girl looked as if she had been crying as well. "I was so worried! Are you all right?"

"As well as can be expected", Zaerini said, patting her friend's back. "And…you? How do you feel about me…now?"

"How do you suppose I feel", Imoen exclaimed, her blue eyes exasperated. "You're my best friend you dummy! I was worried sick about you!" Then she paused. "Oh, you mean the Bhaal thing. That's not your fault, you know. It's not as if you asked for it. It doesn't make you a bad person, and I'll smack anybody who says otherwise." She gave Jaheira a defiant glare.

"Child, there is no need for that", the druid said. "If I believed your friend to be an evil force I would have acted against her long ago. Mere accident of birth and a tendency to recklessness is not enough to merit that."

"Y-yes", Khalid said. "And b-besides, we promised Gorion to look after her."

"Thanks, I guess", Zaerini said, feeling comforted by the support. Then she turned to Edwin. "And what of you", she asked. "What is the Thayvian perspective on me being the Child of Murder?"

"It is an interesting concept", the Red Wizard said in a thoughtful voice. "A Child of Murder could become powerful, very powerful indeed. And yet, to have the very fundament of your world shake beneath you… I wonder how I would have reacted had I found out such a thing about myself?"

"Er…excuse me? I was talking about me here? Not you. And while I wouldn't mind power, I don't want to get it by being the puppet of a dead God. His blood is in me, and he's always at the edge of my consciousness, whispering. He wants to control me, and I won't have that."

"Then", Edwin said, "I have only one thing to say. I have always believed that the man who has the raising of a child is that child's true father, no matter who may have sired it. You need not let your blood rule you, you can achieve glory without losing control and be ruled only by your own ambition."

"Yes", Rini said, nodding. "You are right. Bhaal may be my sire, but I have only one father, and his name was Gorion. And now I suspect I have a name to put to his murderer. Sarevok. Gorion named him 'the worst danger'. It has to be him. Whoever he may be, wherever he may be, I'll be coming for him. And when I do, he'll regret ever having gone near Candlekeep. But first, I believe we have a mine to investigate."

The entrance to the Nashkel Mine was guarded by two Amnian soldiers, and an irritated-looking man was pacing back in forth in front of them. He turned out to be Emerson, the foreman of the mines.

"Well I see no harm", he said once Zaerini had explained her intentions. "Indeed, we could be using the help. There be problems in the lower level, where we lost some workers. The men talk of things a-movin below, but who's to say. The earth, she hides many things from sight."

"Yes", Rini said. "But I think I'm in a mind to excavate them. I'll see you later."

"Cocky, aren't you? You shouldn't be. Another group of adventurers went down here only yesterday, and they haven't come back yet."

"Other adventurers?" Jaheira asked. "Who were they? What did they look like?"

"One of 'em was a mage, a twitchy fella with the ugliest tattoo I ever saw. Kept talking nonsense. Then there was a halfling. Nasty little thing. Not as nasty as the third one though. Great big lumbering thing. Kept himself well hidden under his cloak, so's I couldn't see his face, but he smelled real bad. Sound familiar?"

"I'm afraid so", Zaerini said. "At least the first two. And as far as I know really bad things always come in threes, so I'm not about to get my hopes up about their friend. Still, nothing we can do about it." She turned to her companions. "Right", she said. "Let's move in."