In The Cards

Much as you may try to distance yourself from your past, sooner or later it will catch up with you. Pray that you are prepared to deal with it when it does.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

The Undercellar was much as Edwin remembered it. Strong smells of sweat and sickeningly sweet perfume, of smoke, incense and musk, and with that nauseating sewer smell underlying it all. There were the same noises in the air, music, laughter, and cries of passion. Most importantly there were the same people. He was passing through a sea of courtesans like a fish through a flesh-colored sea, many of them attractive ones. Once, not that long ago, he would have been instantly fascinated. Now, he barely noticed them.

The confrontation with Sarevok was coming closer, and that wasn’t the worst. It was entirely possible that it would be possible to defeat him, but then what would happen? Edwin sighed. Things were coming apart, rapidly so. He had missed the opportunity to pacify Danak and the other Red Wizards searching for him. Now, they would be out for blood. Or was there still some way he could salvage the situation? If so, he hadn’t been able to think of it as yet. They will hunt for me, and sooner or later they will find me.

Edwin was reasonably certain that he could outthink, outfight, and out-anything any single one of the other wizards. However, all four of them at once were an entirely different matter. Edwin sighed again. Not for the first time he fervently wished that it would have been possible to discuss the complicated situation with his teacher. But Dekaras was far from here, of course. And we all know whose fault that is. He wasn’t likely to be back in a hurry either. He…he must have found out the truth by now. He…may not want to come back at all. Or if he does – he will be very angry.

That was not a comforting thought at all. After all, he knew what tended to happen to people that Dekaras got really angry with, though he never would have imagined that quiet rage might apply to himself. He…he wouldn’t do anything like that to me though. Would he? Perhaps anger wasn’t the worst of what he had to fear though. There had been that dream, that terrible dream, the one he was trying hard to forget.

The black wolf, snarling at him, its eyes filled with pain and distrust. Blood trickling down its sides into the huge snowdrifts. Wounds that I caused. I did that. Me. I didn’t want to, but I still did. If he wants to kill me, I wouldn’t blame him, not really.

Deeply preoccupied with his dark thoughts as he was, Edwin didn’t immediately notice that he had trailed behind his companions. The Undercellar was a pretty labyrinthine place; with corridors branching off in all directions, and considering all the people milling about it wasn’t so strange that he marched straight ahead when his companions made a right turn. When he noticed, he had already lost sight of them. “Typical,” Edwin muttered to himself as he started searching. “You would think they would have the common sense not to get themselves lost, but apparently they are more muddle-headed than I guessed. I suppose it once again falls upon the manly shoulders of Edwin Odesseiron to search them out and rescue them, seeing that I am the only one not disoriented to the point of confusion. (Well, when I say ‘them’ I actually mean her. The others can stay lost. In fact, it would be nice if they did, at least for a while, so that the two of us might…)”

Edwin’s train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a very familiar voice, coming from inside one of the secluded booths. It was muttering a spell, a spell that would soon make things very uncomfortable for Edwin. Danak!

Acting without thinking, Edwin threw himself flat on the ground, feeling the air crackle inches above his head as the lightning bolt just missed him. It bounced off a nearby wall instead, and disappeared up towards the ceiling, fortunately without harming anybody. Legs trembling, Edwin got to his feet, throwing up a few Mirror Images as quickly as he could. And it wasn’t one second too soon either. A swarm of glowing magical orbs shot out of the booth, evaporating two of the images. Edwin winced. He’d never quite got used to seeing himself wiped out.

But he didn’t have the time to muse on this. The fight was joined, and it would be to the death, that much he knew. Edwin started speaking the words to his next spell even before he tore the drapery in front of the booth aside, and then he hurled a few Magic Missiles of his own inside. Danak was alone, though the ruffled state of the bed indicated that he had had company until very recently. He was wearing an open dressing gown rather than his mage robes, and the many tattoos decorating his bald head almost seemed to be glowing with magical energy. If he had been displaying anger or hatred, he wouldn’t have been nearly as frightening. As it was, there was only calm determination in his eyes.

Edwin gasped with pain as a bolt of flame struck his thigh, almost making him fall. Fortunately, he had just managed to get off a spell of his own, and he could see Danak’s movements growing clumsier and less fluent as probability was twisted and his luck decreased. Now to follow up…but how best to do so? He is strong…very strong. And he has fought more battles than I have.

It occurred to Edwin that he was in a very dangerous spot indeed. He had prepared himself for fighting with a group when he chose the spells to memorize last night, not for a magical duel. And though he believed he exceeded the other wizard in terms of power, he couldn’t match his experience. Already Danak was recovering, starting on another spell, one that Edwin recognized to his horror. Horrid Wilting! I cannot counter that one.

And then, flashing through his mind, he suddenly recalled something his teacher had once told him, something about killing wizards. A mage is only as dangerous as the spells he can cast, Dekaras had said. Keep him from casting and he is no longer a threat. Any thug off the street could beat him then, unless he has other means of defense at his disposal. And that is why I want you to acquire at least some rudimentary weapons training.

Very thankful for that precaution, Edwin pressed a certain spot on his staff, then swung it even as the sharp blade was still sliding out of the tip. It missed Danak’s heart, but it did give him a nasty slash across one hand, something that made him shriek and lose concentration so that the spell was lost. Not pausing to gloat, Edwin quickly followed up with a vertigo inducing spell that made Danak tumble to the floor in a heap, unable to stand on his legs since the room suddenly felt like it was spinning rapidly around him.

“Kill me then, renegade,” Danak said, his voice still mostly calm. “It will do you no good. You have disobeyed the Zulkir, and he will not let the matter slide. You will be hunted down.”

“I will do as I must,” Edwin snarled. “I never intended to defy the Zulkir – but I will not let you harm Zaerini.”

Danak chuckled dryly, and failed to get up off the floor. “The girl? You haven’t heard the latest orders then. No, you wouldn’t have. They came through only yesterday. The Zulkir has changed his mind about her. There are other, more dangerous threats closer to home. And she has shown no inclination for conquest. She will be left alone. But you on the other hand, are a renegade, and you will pay for it. And if she seeks to aid you, then so will she. Even if you kill me, others will come.”

“Maybe,” Edwin spat out. “But right now, the only one here is you.” He stabbed the blade down, and then followed up with a small Fireball for good measure, concentrated on the corpse. Then he staggered outside, feeling quite dazed.

This…is a disaster. What will I do? What can I do? He didn’t doubt Danak’s words for one instant, knowing perfectly well what the Red Wizards did with renegades. They would come hunting for him. Again, and again, and again. In ever greater numbers. And anybody attempting to aid him would be made a target as well. I…I cannot allow her to do that! I mustn’t!

He was lost. Exiled. Unable ever to go home again, unable to ask for help even from those closest to him. One, he had driven away himself. And the other… I have sworn to aid her against Sarevok, and I will. But then…then I must take steps. I cannot allow her to remain close to me, not with that kind of threat hanging over me. But I cannot explain either. That would mean telling her everything, including being assigned to spy on her and…and worse. She would hate me. But I must keep her safe. I must leave then. It is the only way. Just…just leave, and hope that she forgets all about me. It is the only way, if I want to keep her safe from harm. It will hurt her though. It will hurt her, and I will make her hate me. Her too. It…it isn’t fair! Having to do this once was terrible, but a second time will be unbearable. Why? Why do I have to hurt them both in order to protect them? WHY?

Edwin felt ready to scream by now, to wail with utter despair. He stumbled along the corridors of the Undercellar, unaware of in which direction he was going. Then, he startled violently as he felt himself collide with somebody. Looking into a pair of golden eyes his heart groaned painfully, even as his libido had entirely different ideas about the situation.

“Whoa!” Zaerini said, her lips quirking upwards with amusement as she raked her fingers through her flame-red hair. “Didn’t see you there, Eddie. Where did you disappear to? We were really worried.” Then her face turned worried. “Edwin? What’s the matter?”

Don’t tell her, don’t tell her, don’t tell her…

“It…it is nothing,” Edwin managed, though his voice sounded stiff and unnatural. “I…got into a small disagreement, that is all.”

The half-elf’s eyes flicked downwards to the dark spot on his thigh, where his robe was still smoking a little. “Gods! Are…are you badly hurt? Hold on, just a second…” She threw herself to her knees, pressing the palm of her hand against his leg, something that made Edwin’s legs tremble even worse than before. Come to think of it, she didn’t seem entirely unaffected either. As he looked down on her red head, bent over the wound, it seemed that she was shaking a little. Then he felt heat flowing through her palm with a tingling sensation, and he could feel the wound closing up. Zaerini got to her feet, sighing with relief, looking rather flushed. “There you go,” she said. “All fixed up. Feeling better?”

“Yes,” Edwin said. But if she’d hold me a little longer I would feel better still. Then he suddenly noticed the scene in the background, and blinked with surprise. There were two dead people lying on the ground, one man and one woman. Both of them were wearing dark clothes, reminding Edwin uncomfortably of his mentor.

“Slythe and Kristin,” Zaerini explained. “They attacked us. And there are good news, and bad news. Which would you like first?”

Edwin thought about this for a second. “The bad news. (I have already had so many, a few more won’t make much of a difference.)”

“All right. There was a letter from Sarevok among Slythe’s stuff. Slythe and Kristin were supposed to join up with a bunch of doppelganger assassins at Sarevok’s coronation. Once my Big Brother finished his big speech, they were supposed to strike. And the bad news is that the coronation is tonight.”

“And the good news?”

“The good news is that there was an invitation to the Ducal Palace along with the letter. Which means that we’ll be able to get inside and confront Sarevok.”

“I see,” Edwin said. “So, and let me get this perfectly straight, the good news is really that we get the wonderful opportunity of fighting a large number of doppelgangers, as well as your insane brother in the spiky getup? (Perhaps the food will be nice at least, though my hopes aren’t high.)”

“Um…that’s more or less it, yes.” Zaerini suddenly grinned, something that made Edwin’s heart make a little lurch. “Don’t you just love this job?”