In The Cards

People who think that children are all sweetness and innocence are either very fortunate or very ignorant. Possibly both. Some children never get the chance to be innocent, and they can be as dangerous as any adult. Possibly more so.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

“I can’t believe I missed that!” Edwin complained. “You killed a paladin and didn’t think to ask me to watch? That’s really inconsiderate.”

“For the last time,” Jaheira snapped, “we did not kill him! He was struck by lightning!”

“Oh, that’s a really believable alibi that is. (Next she’ll probably claim he was killed by a mysterious one-armed man.)”

“Shouldn’t we bury him or something?” Imoen asked.

Zaerini shook her head, making her red locks dance about her face. “It would take hours with this hard ground,” she said.

“How about bringing him to a temple then?”

“What, drag a dead paladin into the city and protest our innocence? We’d be lucky if they gave us a trial before trying to hang us. And if we did manage to get him raised he’d only blame us anyway.” The bard bent over the dead paladin, rifling through his belongings. “Better leave him here. He was trying to kill us too.”

Edwin nodded. “Yes,” he said. “That is the most practical approach in situations like this. I thoroughly approve.”

Khalild looked a little askance at him. “D-do you have to g-get rid of dead bodies often then?”

The Red Wizard shrugged. “Once in a while,” he said. “It is a useful skill. (And I did receive a very practical education.)”

Rini had only been paying partial attention to the conversation. “Nothing of great value here,” she said as she closed Ajantis’ pack. “Used hankies, Dummies Guide To Being A Paladin Rulebook, a really big jar of armor polish, written instructions on some religious ceremonies, a letter from somebody called ‘Sir Keldorn’ that’s mostly a long sermon on things Ajantis’ needs to improve about himself and ends with a request to search for a ‘favorite pen’…nothing interesting.”

“Here’s something though,” Imoen said and lifted the dead man’s armored foot. “There’s something written on the underside of his boot.”

“Let me see that,” the half-elf said. “The letters are rather clumsily written. They look almost like the scrawlings of a child. ‘If found, please return to the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart’. Now that is weird.”

“I used to mark my favorite toys like that when I was a child,” Edwin said in a pensive voice. “I would never have thought of doing it to myself though. (I suppose this metal-plated monkey must probably get himself killed on a regular basis. That would account for some of his atrocious behavior. He was lucky I was not present or I would have killed him myself for his rudeness.)”

“Somebody might be looking for him,” Yeslick said. “We really should notify the proper authorities.”

“Fine, fine,” Zaerini said, throwing up her hands in the air. “Once we get to the Gate we’ll leave an anonymous note at the temple of Helm or something. But I honestly have no idea why anybody would want to raise this jerk.”

The following morning the adventurers passed through some farmland, unfortunately infested with burrowing Ankhegs. The acid-spitting monsters turned out to be really annoying, but they yielded some lovely scales, shimmering metallic green. Jaheira explained that she wanted to hang onto them and see about having them made into an armor that wouldn’t interfere with her druidic powers, and would be stronger than her current leather one. An encounter with a local farmer whose son had gone missing led to a brief foray into a nest infested with even more Ankhegs, but there were some nice spell scrolls hidden inside, along with the corpse of the poor farmer’s son.

And then there were the fishermen who approached the party, claiming that a vicious priestess of Umberlee, the Bitch Queen goddess of the sea, was harassing them. After they offered a substantial reward Zaerini promised to look into the matter, seeing that the priestess in question lived right next to the bridge leading into Baldur’s Gate anyway. The house wasn’t difficult to find, a small cottage that wasn’t very well maintained.

“I do not like this,” Jaheira said as they approached. “This feels almost like taking part in an assassination.”

“And?” Edwin said, shrugging.

“And that is wrong!”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, druid. Or weren’t you aware of the fact that the Harpers regularly employ assassins of their own?” Edwin looked rather smug as he said this.

“That is not true.”

“Oh yes it is. You may not be high enough in their ranks to have access to that sort of information, but I have…contacts…of my own, and I hear things. (And most entertaining stories they can be too.) Do let me know when you come up with a good explanation on why your own assassinations are more moral than your opponents’. Oh, and ‘We’re The Good Guys’ doesn’t count, in case you were wondering.”

“I think we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves here,” Zaerini said as she stepped up to the door. “I only promised to talk to this priestess, not to kill her. Let’s take things one step at a time.” Then the door opened and the bard stared at the person standing in front of her. It was just a little girl; maybe twelve or so, with dark brown hair and mistrustful eyes, gray like a stormy sea. “Stop!” the girl cried out. “You are trespassing on my land-home! None come this way armed as you are; it was those horrible fishermen what hired you wasn't it? I am Tenya, and I demand an answer! Speak!”

“Um…maybe. But…” She’s just a little girl! I can’t possibly kill a little girl, no matter which god she serves.

“Liar!” the girl screamed. “You come from them, but I shall put an end to this now. The sea cries out for vengeance!” Then she raised her hands and started chanting a spell.

“Stop her!” Rini cried out. “Try not to hurt her.” She threw herself at the girl, tackling her to the floor. In the end it was an uneven fight. The little priestess’ spells couldn’t possibly stand against six experienced adventurers. She was disarmed, her hands tied behind her back.

“Why do you do this?” Tenya said, her eyes desperate. “Don't you know what they've done? Sonner and the others, THEY are the EVIL ones! They killed my mother and now you help them?! She only did her duty, collecting the offerings from those that would use the sea. They stole her elemental summoning bowl, and tortured her for the words that make it work. Now they all misuse a gift from Umberlee to pillage the seas, and my mother’s spirit can't rest until it is returned. I have more power than mother had, Umberlee gave me her anger, but I can't find the bowl. All I can do is hurt them 'till they give it back or die, but I'm so tired. I don't have mother's will, and the goddess is so demanding. Help me, please.”

I know about demanding gods, all right. “All right,” Zaerini said. “Those fishermen lied to me, and tried to trick me into killing you. I don’t like that sort of thing. I think I’m going to have to go have a word with them.”

Tenya smiled briefly. “Oh thank you! The Sea Queen may yet be satisfied with the return of the bowl, but one way or another Sonner's group must no longer profit at her expense. It is probably being hidden in a shrine to another god. I don't know where the shrine is, and couldn't go near even if I did, but Sonner may tell you.... if you ask him with a blade. Go now, for Umberlee is seldom patient, and you are not yet on her good side.”

Once the party got back to the fishing village they sought out Sonner directly. “You are back!” the fisherman said. “Have you…have you killed the priestess yet?” Then he gasped as he suddenly felt the business end of a sword poking his chest.

“Would you know,” Rini said in a conversational voice, “you forgot to mention that it was a child you wanted me to kill. Call me picky if you like – but I don’t kill children, and I have no patience with those who do. I’d much rather kill you, unless you hand over a certain magical bowl, that is.”

“Curse you!” the fisherman spat. “You’ve fallen for the lies of that traitorous little sea bitch!”

“The bowl, Sonner,” Yeslick said in a hard voice. “We do nay have all day, and me hammer is itchin’ to make contact with yer child-slayin’ skull.”

“Fools! You know nothing! The little bitch’s mother kept increasing the price for safe passage on the seas, and we had no choice but to pay. Not until we met a cleric of Talos, the Storm Lord, and arranged for another form of protection. So you see, we are all pawns in the games of the gods!”

“Perhaps,” Rini said, pushing her sword in just a little bit. “But at least I can choose which side of the board I play on, and in this case it’s not yours. The bowl, Sonner. Now.” She was smiling at the man now, and she felt the flames of her anger dancing in her blood. From the way the fisherman blanched he could probably see at least part of it.

“Here!” he spat, handing over a small golden bowl. “Take it! Let the little bitch have it, and get lost!”

Heat. Heat flaring higher, fiery rage burning in her brain. KILL HIM! Was it her sire’s voice or her own? She couldn’t tell for certain, not this time. KILL HIM NOW! Her fingers tightened painfully around the hilt of her sword. She wanted him dead, the would-be child-killer, wanted it so badly. It would be so easy. So very easy. Too easy. And it was what her sire wanted. Had he set this up somehow? Arranged this in order to tempt her to murder? “Get out of here yourself,” she hissed, her voice inhuman in its fury. “Get out now or I will kill you.” Whatever Sonner saw in her face, it was enough to make his face turn the color of an old cheese, and a wet spot rapidly spread on the front of his pants. He turned and ran, or rather stumbled away, his friends close behind him. The bard stared after him, her face murderous and her golden eyes blazing as fiercely as those of her elder brother. And then she let fly an arrow, a poisoned and biting one, and it hit the running man in the neck, his face rapidly turning black as he twisted on the ground. “Then again,” she said, “I may just kill you anyway.” And maybe this was what Bhaal wanted me to do. But this time…this one time…I really don’t care.

“Child…” Jaheira said.

“Don’t talk to me. Please Jaheira. Not right now. He would have killed a child. I…got upset. That’s all.” The druid said nothing, but she looked concerned. So did Khalid. Imoen looked sad, but mostly worried about her friend. Yeslick a little puzzled. And Edwin…looked at her with what she could only describe as approval. Admiration, even. “Very accurate,” he said. “Very much so. (And with great presence of mind as well. Just as it should be.)”

Once the bowl had been retrieved the adventurers returned to Tenya. The girl was sitting on her porch, awaiting them. “You return,” she said, her gray eyes glittering eagerly. “I trust you bear good news?”

“Here is the b-bowl that was taken from your m-m-mother,” Khalid told her with a kind smile. Perhaps n-now she will rest.”

Tenya eagerly accepted the bowl, and as she rose she seemed to grow taller. Her young face was as cold and unemotional as the sea when next she spoke. “Mother? That was then. This is now. Umberlee is mother now, and she is well pleased. She will deal with Sonner's group in time, and Talos will no doubt abandon them for their failure. If they are wise they will never set sail again, for the sea will take their worthless lives. I have no reward for you, but the Sea Queen remembers those that serve her well. You will be paid....in time.”

As the adventurers headed towards the bridge Zaerini wondered if she could have handled things differently. I don’t regret killing that man. Not really. But Tenya…I wonder where she will go now. Who she will become. I don’t think I could have done anything more to help her, but I wish I could have.

“I fear we may have managed to anger Talos now,” Jaheira said, shaking her head.

“Maybe. I seem to make a habit of angering evil gods, don’t I?”

Imoen was looking sad. “That poor girl,” she said. “She didn’t even care about her mother anymore. What could have made her become like that?”

“We can’t know that she didn’t care,” the bard answered, thinking about it. “Some people try to protect themselves by pretending to be cold. It’d take a great deal to make somebody not care about his or her own mother, wouldn’t it? I think she was probably just trying to be strong and she thinks that Umberlee will help her with that. It’s a shame we couldn’t do more for her. Growing up the daughter of a priestess of the Bitch Queen can’t have been easy. I guess…she was influenced by that. Same as anybody else is by their parents.”

“What’s done is done,” Edwin said. “We have our own worries and our own goals to attend to. And we won’t have long to wait now.” He pointed ahead, and Rini felt her heart soar at the sight before her. A large city sprawled below the hill they were currently standing on, hugging the coast and the river both, tall rooftops poking up behind the massive stonewall that surrounded it. There was a wide stone bridge leading across the river towards the nearest city gate, defended by several guard towers.

“Wyrm’s Crossing,” Jaheira said with a pleased smile. “Though I shall miss being surrounded by nature, it will be good to get on with our business in the city.”

Baldur’s Gate, Zaerini thought, a wide grin on her face as she drank in the sight of the city. Watch out, Big Brother. I’m coming to play on your part of the board. And despite what Sonner said, I don’t think I’ll be a pawn for much longer.