In The Cards

A conflict may not always be about what you think it is. And of course, such a conflict where you are essentially fighting blindfolded, is very difficult to resolve in an effective manner. You may negotiate a truce, but until the truth is known the division will still remain.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

The new door turned out to lead into a sort of throne room, an oblong chamber with a stone throne on top of a small dais at one end, and a rotting golden carpet on the floor.

“Not bad,” Edwin said, sitting down on the throne. “Not bad at all.” The wizard’s face looked very pleased as he straightened his back and looked down his nose at an imaginary adoring crowd. “I think I was born to sit in a seat like this one.”

“What?” Rini asked. “A cold stone slab in the middle of a deranged dwarf’s dungeon? If so, then perhaps you ought to have a word or two with your mother.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny. What I meant was that I was born to rule. I do come from a long line of powerful wizards, after all. (Yes, I can see it now. The tributes, the treasures, the adulation of the masses. A line of delightful concubines eager to worship at my feet, gasping with excitement at being allowed into my august presence.)”

The bard snorted briefly. “Whatever you say, Eddie. I just think that unless you select your kingdom very carefully a throne will become a royal pain in the backside more often than not.”

“Here’s something interesting,” Imoen said, pointing at something on the floor. “Looks like a helmet. And there’s some more writing too.”

“Let me see,” Yeslick said, walking over to peer at the runes etched into the floor. “It says: ‘Here fell Kiel, the Legion-killer.’ Kiel was Durlag’s eldest son, and his heir. This would have been the place he died.” He then proceeded to pick the helmet up.

Immediately there was a hissing sound as a panel in the wall slid aside and ‘Durlag’ stepped out once again, beaming at the adventurers.

Not AGAIN! Rini thought. Can’t they think of a new trick, this is getting dull?

“Kiel, my first-born, why so stern all the time?” the old dwarf said. “Come down from that throne and revel with your family for a spell. You and I have…”

Then he was quiet as a large number of Magic Missiles struck him in the face, followed by one of Imoen’s arrows up his nose, Khalid’s sword through his ribs, Jaheira’s scimitar through his guts and to top things off Yeslick’s hammer crashing into his kneecaps.

“Oh, just shut up,” Edwin told the dead doppleganger. “Honestly, how many times do you expect us to fall for the same ploy? Why not try impersonating somebody else for a change? (I wouldn’t mind seeing Elminster myself. It would be an acceptable substitute until the day comes when I can humble the real thing.)”

Lifting the helm had made two doors open, one to the north and one to the south. The adventurers took the northern one, passing through a room where traps littered the floor everywhere, leaving hardly any floor between them. It was a long and tedious hour’s wait while Imoen crawled about on her hands and knees, disarming them one by one. Finally the way was clear. The party passed through the room and was just about to enter the next chamber from where they could see a dull red glow emanating. It was then that they heard a strange voice behind them, and felt the air turn cold around them.

“Durlag! Durlag, my taerin! Do not do this thing. It is I, Islanne!” Zaerini turned around to see a dwarven woman, her lustrous brown hair and beard neatly bearded, her dress plain but beautiful, a heavy gold circlet around her neck. Next to her stood two younger dwarves, both of them resembling her enough that they had to be her children. They were both armed and ready for battle. “Durlag,” the woman said again, her voice filled with love and despair. “You know me. It is Islanne. These are our children. Remember them? Remember our love?” Her eyes widened with sudden fear as she stared at something behind Zaerini and her friends, something no longer there. “You…you are not my Durlag! Your face…it…it is melting. Durlag! No! Nooooooo!” With an agonizing wail the dwarf woman and her two companions disappeared from sight, dissolving into empty air.

“I don’t think that was a doppleganger,” Imoen said, staring at the spot where the woman had stood.

“That w-was a ghost,” Khalid said. “P-poor woman. She s-s-seemed so afraid.”

“As she would have been on the night she died,” Yeslick said, his voice sad. “That was Islanne, the wife of Durlag. Killed by doppelgangers wearing his face like a mask.” He took out a large red-and-white checkered handkerchief and blew his nose loudly, then cleared his throat. “Got something in me eye…”

“Yeslick?” Zaerini asked. “What does ‘taerin’ mean?”

The dwarf blew his nose again. “It means ‘love’, lass,” he said. “True love.”

“Yes,” Jaheira said, nodding. “When you know love, then you also risk the deepest pain. As in this case, the terrible pain of believing yourself betrayed by the one you love.”

“She would have been better off if she’d never loved in the first place,” Edwin said, his voice tense. “That would have spared her.”

“I d-don’t think so,” Khalid said, giving his wife a fond look. “True love is worth some p-pain and r-risk.”

Jaheira smiled briefly. “True,” she said. “Though I hardly think I need fear anybody imitating you, my husband. I do not think any doppleganger would be able to accurately reproduce your snores.”

“J-j-jaheira I don’t s-snore!”

“No? And how would you know, seeing that you are asleep as you do it? Now I, on the other hand…”

“J-jaheira, if I k-keep you awake you m-may always awaken me to keep you company. S-sleep is somewhat o-overrated anyway.”

Imoen giggled. “Oh geez, you two!” she exclaimed. “Get a room or something!” The adventurers were then treated to the rare and unusual sight of seeing Jaheira’s cheeks turn faintly pink. “You know, Jaheira,” Imoen said in an innocent voice, “that color looks really pretty on you…”

A trapped container in the next room held yet another wardstone, one that caused a rune on the floor to glow brightly. Hardly had she touched it before Rini felt a lurching sensation in the pit of her stomach and then the world swirled around her. When everything settled down she found herself in a room identical to the previous one, like a mirror image.

“Some form of teleport spell,” Edwin said, examining the rune on the floor with a fascinated look on his face. “Interesting. I wonder if it could be adapted to be cast without the item. Pity we don’t have the time to spare doing some research. Imagine the possibilities! Teleporting into locked treasure vaults, private libraries of forbidden lore, the storerooms of magic shops…”

“Hey,” Imoen said, “you have some good instincts for larceny you know. You sure you don’t want to be a rogue rather than a wizard?”

“Quite sure. Nothing compares to the thrill of magic.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Imoen said in a preoccupied voice. “Once I might have been interested in trying out magic, but I’ve changed my mind now. I’m gonna be a really, really clever and skilled rogue instead, the kind that can steal your teeth without you noticing it. That’s sort of like doing magic without magic, and that’s really impressive.” She paused. “Rini? When we’re done here, we’re going to Baldur’s Gate, right?”

Zaerini sighed. “Yes, Immy,” she said in an infinitely patient voice. “We are. You’ve asked me this about thirty times already and I haven’t changed my mind. And no, I’m sure neither Edwin nor I know of a spell to enable you to see what Adahn is doing in the meantime. Besides, even if we did, I’m sure he wouldn’t enjoy you playing peeping tom.”

“I’m not!” Imoen protested, shaking her head so violently that her pink hair danced about her face.

“Then how come this question mainly appears to crop up at night? Admit it, Immy. You want to see what he wears in bed, and you hope it isn’t very much. Either that or you hope to catch him taking a bath. Don’t you think so too, Edwin?”

The Red Wizard drew himself up to his full height, looking very much put out. “This entire discussion is extremely inappropriate,” he said in a stiff voice. “I have no desire whatsoever to contribute to your…your deranged fantasies. (Twisted. Utterly twisted. I never would have expected a girl her age to be capable of such.)”

“Oh, come on, Eddie,” the bard said, flashing the wizard a quick grin. “Don’t be so prissy, you’re starting to sound like this preachy knight that visited Candlekeep once when I was ten. He didn’t loosen up until I greased the stairs to the chapel. Besides, Immy has good taste.”

“Yup,” Imoen agreed. “The best. I mean, even if you’re not a girl you have to admit that he’s good-looking. That face, that poise, that voice. Not to mention those really hot…”

Edwin clasped his hands across his ears. “I don’t want to hear this!” he protested. “It’s…it’s just wrong! (Utterly, utterly wrong beyond all measure. And I really don’t want to know which word she was about to say. I don’t even want to think about it.)”

“And he can be really nice too, beneath that ‘deadly menace’ attitude. Really sweet. You should try to get to know him better, then you’d see what I mean.”

Edwin was practically foaming at the mouth by now. “I don’t need to ‘get to know him better’,” he snarled. “And you have no idea what you’re talking about at all.”

“’Course I do. I love him after all. Just because you don’t like him…”

BANG! An enormous fireball hit the wall, making it shake and shudder, turning it entirely black. It wasn’t close enough to risk any serious harm to Imoen, but it was an obvious warning. Imoen just stared at Edwin, mouth open, shocked into silence.

“Take that back right now!” the Red Wizard hissed.

“That’s enough!” Rini said in a sharp voice. “Immy, stop teasing him. And as for you…” She glared fiercely at the wizard. “Don’t ever threaten my sister again.” She kept staring at him, her golden eyes blazing furiously, not looking away from his dark ones until she saw an almost imperceptible nod. “What’s wrong with you?” she then said in a low voice, pulling Edwin aside. “Please don’t tell me that you’re in love with Adahn too, and that you’re being jealous of Immy.”

The horrified and dumbstruck look on Edwin’s face was enough to convince her of the wrongness of that particular theory. Fortunately. I really don’t think I could have coped with that particular situation. For various reasons.

“What?” Edwin sputtered. “No! Of course I’m not ‘in love’ with him! That’s ridiculous!”

“Not really,” Rini said, feeling immense relief. “There are plenty of men who prefer their own kind.”

“That’s not what I…er…never mind.”

“But anyway,” the half-elf said, still looking the wizard in the eyes, “I must say that I’m happy you’re not. In love with him, I mean.”

“You…you are?”

“Yes. I really am.”

Very nice, kitten, Softpaws said, sounding very pleased. The cat was currently perched on Rini’s shoulder, purring into her ear. An important first step.

Step?

Yes, kitten. There was a small sigh along the mental link. Do try to make an effort here…

“Oh,” Edwin said, sounding equal parts pleased and confused. “Well, then I’m happy too. If you’re happy, I mean. That is…er…we do need to keep our leader satisfied and mentally stable if we are to survive this place. That’s what I meant to say. It is only logical to want a stable leader, I’m sure. Yes, perfectly logical and sensible. The normal, sensible thing to do, what anybody would want to do. Yes indeed. Um…what was I saying?”

“That you wanted to keep me satisfied. Sounds like a good plan to me.”

Does it ever, kitten, Softpaws smirked. And I bet he would be very adept at it too.

Softy!

What? What did I say? Can I help it if you have a one-track mind?

Zaerini sighed softly to herself. I’ve battled assorted monsters, madmen and bounty hunters, she thought. I cheat death on a daily basis. I’ve insulted Elminster himself. And somehow I can’t get the last word against my own familiar. Somehow that doesn’t seem quite fair.

Of course not, kitten, the cat instantly retorted. But then again, you ought to know better than to think life is fair. I’m just helping you to get used to it, in a totally unselfish manner. That it also amuses me is a different story…