In The Cards

The true adventurer carries all sorts of strange things around in his or her backpack. Not just spare weapons or spell scrolls. There's old letters, religious symbols, beholder eyes, the heads of wanted criminals, large quantities of pure ore, even a dead body or two. It follows that the first thing any true adventurer should buy is a really big backpack. Preferably one that's easily cleaned.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"Well, would you look at this!" Zaerini exclaimed. "That's a very nice armor." The adventurers had entered a bedroom, dominated by a large four-poster bed covered with a luxurious red bedspread. A trapped chest in one corner held a pair of spell scrolls, spells that would influence and dominate a victim's thoughts, and also a beautiful dwarf-sized armor that glowed with a faint golden light all of its own, though its design was plain and without ornaments. "Yeslick, what do you think of this?"

The dwarf took a closer look at the armor, his eyes glittering eagerly. "Well, I never!" he exclaimed. "That's 'The Practical Defense', that is. Created by Bolhur Thunderaxe himself, and a finer suit of armor you won't find anywhere in these parts."

"Go ahead then," the bard said. "Put it on."

"Me? Lass, should I really be the one to…"

"Sure you should," Rini said with a smile. "You deserve it."

"And besides," Edwin remarked dryly, "it's not as if any of the rest of us could fit into that thing anyway."

"Oh, stop it. I'd say Yeslick deserved it even if it wasn't for that, he's the one of us most in need of it. Go ahead, Yeslick."

The dwarf modestly went behind a dressing screen standing in one corner, and when he came out again he looked truly formidable. "Thank ye, lass," he said seriously. "I'll try to do both ye and old Thunderaxe credit." Then he bowed formally.

Imoen, meanwhile, was busying herself with the old dresser next to the bed. "Oooh!" she cried out in annoyance. "This is no good! I can't get it open. Nuts and nutmash, I should be able to open it, it doesn't look that hard."

"Leave it then," Jaheira said. "I am sure we can live without a few gold or healing potions, or whatever else may be stored inside."

"I guess," Imoen admitted. "I just don't like giving up. Huh, guess I'll check out that other room over there instead." She quickly darted into a dark corridor, and a few moments later she could be heard to squeal with delight. "Wow! Come here everybody, come see what I found!"

What she had found turned out to be no less than a treasury, with large heaps of gold coins and gems spilling all over the floor, scattered about as if they were no more than a child's toys. In the light of the magical torch on the wall they glittered in all colors imaginable, ruby red, sapphire blue, emerald green, turquoise, amethyst, topaz, opal, and diamonds scattered the light into a myriad of tiny rainbows. Rini stopped dead in her tracks, unable to do anything but gape, and she couldn't help but notice the blissful smile on Edwin's face either. "Look at it all!" Imoen sang, dancing around the room. "Isn't it pretty?" She picked something off the floor. "Look, a pink diamond! Don't you think this would make a perfect wedding ring, Rini?"

"I suppose," the half-elf said, smiling at her friend's antics. "But isn't it the groom who's supposed to provide the ring?"

"Aw, it makes no difference. He can always steal me another one…or two. I don't mind."

The group now began pocketing as many gems as they could easily carry, trying to select the most valuable ones. They had been working on this for a few minutes when the bard found a gem she couldn't easily identify. It was the deep and calming green of a deep ocean, but occasionally she could see a sparkle within, a bright flash of brilliant and glittering blue. It was very beautiful. "What do you suppose this is?" she asked her friends.

"That looks like a Beljuril Stone to me," Yeslick said. "Rare, and very valuable. And that blue coloring, I've never seen its like before. A rare oddity."

"Hm," Rini said. "You know, that reminds me of something. One of those riddles.

I am the warrior's curse
I steal his future
I mar his past
The more he has, the less it seems
He becomes a slave
Of glittering things

Yet I hunger - Feed me that which glitters beyond all else.

See? It does make sense. We had already guessed that the item requested would be some sort of treasure, and this is a rare and glittering gem, isn't it?"

"It does make sense," Jaheira said. "Yet what of the riddle itself?"

"I can guess all too well," Yeslick said darkly. "I think it be Avarice, the greed that brought invaders and doom to Durlag and his kin. 'Twould make sense for him to remember that."

"Here's something else," Imoen said, digging through a small pile of opals. "A key! I think it could fit that drawer. Just a sec, I'll go and have a peek." A few moments later she returned, triumphantly presenting two odd objects.

"A…a switch of some kind?" Jaheira said in a not very impressed voice. "And is that a bunch of grapes?"

"Yep! I bet they're magical, otherwise they'd be all moldy by now."

"Don't eat them though," Rini warned her friend. "Not unless we're really starving. If they're magical, there's no telling what they'll do to you. You could…grow donkey ears or something. Or an extra nose, for wine tasting."

"Besides," Edwin said, "they're bound to be useful later. Remember what I said about picking up odd items? (Perhaps those grapes can be used to harness potent magical energies from the dawn of time or something. You never know.)"

"Yes, Eddie. Or perhaps we could use them to make some wine. You never know."

Slowly making their way eastwards through yet another of the seemingly endless number of dark corridors, the party came across a very strange room indeed. Inside, two large flesh golems were engaged in strenuous physical activity, running about, jumping up and down, waving their large and fleshy arms about relentlessly. They were coached in this endeavor by another skeletal warrior who was leading the exercises. "Move it you sacks of fat!" the skeleton yelled. "Move those butts! Harder! Faster! Shake the flesh, make it jiggle! Now do it all over! Don't you want to get all slim and beautiful like me?"

The sweaty flesh golems just groaned in response, but they did increase their pace a little. "MOVE IT!" the skeleton screamed. "Gods, you're pathetic. Jump! Stretch! Jump! Stretch! Now squeeze! I want to see some feeling heeeere…" * CRACK * Every bone in his body broke as the two golems, enraged beyond all control, suddenly did jump high enough into the air that they landed on him and smashed him to pieces. They then turned on the surprised adventurers, but Imoen's liberal use of poison darts easily took them down. She managed to do this while only hitting one of her own friends, and Khalid forgave her once he saw how easily the golems fell.

"Guess they finally had enough with being yelled at," Imoen mused. "Poor things. It's a pity we had to kill them. I would have liked to keep one."

"Keep one?" Jaheira said in an astonished voice. "WHY?!"

"For a pet. I think they're rather sweet. They look like big bald baby dollies. Well, big bald baby dollies made from skinless flesh, but you know what I mean."

"Ah, you just like them because they're pink," Edwin said.

"No I don't! Well…maybe you have a point. But they're still sweet. I would have called it 'Fleshy'."

Jaheria closed her eyes, looking rather pained. "Fleshy…," she murmured. "Silvanus give me patience…"

From the exercise room there were two doors apart from the one they'd entered through. One led north, the other south. The northern one led into a room dominated by a huge and mysterious machine that filled it from wall to wall. It was silent and unmoving. "Look," Zaerini said, pointing at a small hole in the wall. "I think that switch we found may fit there. Put it in, would you Immy?"

"D-do you r-r-really think w-we should?" Khalid asked. "W-we don't know what it d-does."

"I suppose not. But there's really only one way to find out. I don't see any instruction manual lying around. Just be prepared for anything." Once started, the machine hummed and buzzed, but apart from that there was no obvious effect.

"That's it?" Edwin said, sounding rather disappointed. "Nothing? Not even an explosion?" Then there was a sound coming through the other door, a pounding and grinding sound like that of another big machine starting."

"I think that's what we were waiting for," Rini said. "Let's check it out." The machine in the other room turned out to be a winepress. An old and very big winepress, and it had apparently been started by the machine in the other room. "I don't like this," the bard flatly stated.

"What do you mean?" Edwin asked.

"It's all a bit convenient, isn't it? We need to make wine to give that 'Love' warder. And lo and behold, we find not only some conveniently aged grapes, but a functioning winepress as well? It's all just a little too easy."

"We do not have much choice though," Jaheira said. "Not if we want to carry on, rather than stand around here navel-gazing all day."

"I know. I just have a feeling we ought to be very careful around those warders. I don't trust them one bit." The redhead placed the grapes inside the press, and in a few moments a bottle of dark red wine emerged from the other end.

"Ah, nothing like Dwarven craftsmanship," Yeslick beamed. "It even bottles the stuff! Though I really prefer ale."

"Curious," Edwin said as he turned the bottle over in his hands. "I wonder how one single bunch of grapes could have produced an entire bottle of wine?"

Divine intervention maybe? Rini thought. For some reason that really doesn't ease my mind. "I guess they were magical grapes," she said. "Let's hope this is what 'Love' wants."

From the winepress room another short corridor led them back into the great hall, where the warders were still carrying out their silent vigil. "Right," Rini said. "We've lit the sword of Pride, we have the gem of Avarice and the wine of Love. Fear is the only one left, but we still don't know how to 'awaken' it. There's another door over on the other side of the hall though, I guess we'll have to check that out next. Let's keep the other stuff until we've solved the final riddle." She stared at the warders, silently marching around the stairwell, their metal faces devoid of all emotion. Those things really give me the willies.

Just remember not to give in to Fear, kitten, Softpaws said. Caution is good, fear isn't. Unless you inspire it in others, of course.

Oh, I know. And I'll certainly try my best. But for some strange reason I get the feeling that Fear is what Durlag's Tower is all about.