Sword's Wrath 6 - Authority Figure

I'm one chapter ahead at the moment, for a change! The next chapter's a pretty long one, but first things first, eh?

***

Chapter 6 – Authority Figure


Edgar glanced around as the rest of the party joined him and Yoshimo at the bar. Viconia was looking smug, but that wasn’t anything unusual. He turned to Yoshimo. “Are any of the people here the ones you mentioned? People who might want to hire us?�

The bounty hunter studied the room. “Hmm. I was hoping that we’d find one Nalia D’Arnise here. Last night she was looking for mercenaries.�

Edgar paused, looking off to the left. “Does she have a blue robe, reddish hair, and a constant look of surprise?�

Yoshimo turned to him, startled. “You’ve met her?�

“No, it’s just that a girl like that is being attacked over there in the corner.�

***


Nalia cringed as her attacker leered over her. She hadn’t expected this to happen! People were usually so grateful when she visited them! But suddenly, when she was the one needing help, nobody wanted to know. And since she wasn’t giving out handouts, nobody had any interest in protecting her. The nerve of these people!

The man grinned, showing rotten teeth. He slammed her against the wall and laughed in her face. She grimaced at the smell.

“Oh, you be a pretty one!� he sneered. “Question is, do I sell you to the slavers now, or do I take me own cut first?�

He looked her up and down.

“Heh! Easy question! Well, missy, it looks like yer in for a night with aiggh!�

The look on his face abruptly changed to one of agony, and he fell sideways. Behind him stood a large, bald man with a raised knee.

“Look, Boo! The pretty drow’s fighting tip worked!� He paused, concentration written on his face as he seemed to be listening to something. “But you’re right. Minsc should be a righteous kicker of butts, not a devious kicker of…�

“Thank you, Minsc!� said someone behind him a little too loudly. “Could I have a word with the lady?� The huge man obediently moved to one side as another man came past him and surveyed her. He was fairly tall, with light blonde hair and a blue tunic. A fairly pleasant face was marred only by a small scar on his chin. A sword hung loosely at his side. He wasn’t grinning sadistically, which she counted as an improvement on her previous situation.

***


Edgar looked at the girl in front of him. She was rather unkempt after her struggle with the lout seconds earlier, but from the look of her she was used to being a bit untidy. Her reddish hair was tied into unruly plaits, and her robe was dirty. She didn’t exactly look like a rich client, but then who would wear valuable clothes or jewellery in the Copper Coronet?

“Nalia D’Arnise, I presume?� She glared up at him.

“Yes, I’m Nalia. Should I be thanking you, or are you just another bunch of louts here to throw my aid back in my face?�

Edgar hesitated. Aid? “Er, no, my lady, we heard you wanted mercenaries?� And from your predicament a moment ago, I can see why, he added silently.

Hope suddenly dawned on her face. “Oh, yes! I thought no-one would ever want to help me! Yes, I need mercenaries! My family’s keep is under attack, and will fall if we don’t hurry! Where are your men quartered?�

He hesitated, rather taken aback. “Um, well, two of my men are here.� He indicated Minsc, who smiled at her before delivering a vicious kick to the still-moaning thug, and Yoshimo, who simply nodded. “And the rest of my men are… well, women.� He indicated Jaheira, who frowned at the growing realisation in the young girl’s eyes, and Viconia, who just smirked at her.

Nalia felt like laughing hysterically. “So…there are five of you? Just five?�

Edgar felt affronted. “I think you’ll find that we’re well up to any task. Where we’re concerned, size doesn’t matter.�

Behind him, Viconia laughed softly. “So that’s why you were so unwilling last night,� she whispered in his ear. He blushed and ignored her, hoping that no-one else had heard. He really would have to have a word with her. Jaheira shot a glare at the grinning drow, who took it with supreme indifference.

“Well, no matter!� put in Nalia. “I’m desperate! I’ve been trying all day to recruit some of the people here, but they just laugh! When I think of all I’ve done for their kind…�

Their kind? “So what, exactly, is the problem?� Edgar interrupted.

“My keep’s under attack, as I said! They arrived three days ago! I managed to sneak out for help, but my father’s still there! For all I know, the keep may have fallen already! We have to go and help!� The girl seemed on the verge of tears.

“Who’s attacking you?� asked Jaheira, eyeing her suspiciously. “ I’ve seen the kind of castles Amnish nobles build. It would have to be a fairly large army.�

“There’s no time!� pleaded Nalia. “I can explain once we…� she broke off as Jaheira glared at her, and part of the half-elven woman was pleased to see that not everyone was immune. Nalia took a deep breath, and the words rushed out. “Trolls! We were attacked by trolls! I don’t know where they came from, but they could break into the keep at any time! Please, we must go!�

Jaheira remained unimpressed. “So, your original plan was to lead us into combat with these creatures, and only then tell us what they were? Expecting us to defeat them by standing there and wishing that we’d picked up the necessary equipment in Athkatla? How did you think we were going to kill them without bringing fire and acid, you silly little girl?�

Nalia bridled at the insult and Edgar felt that it was time to retake the initiative. “Regardless, now we know,� he said firmly. “Yoshimo and I will pick up some fire arrows. The rest of you, prepare for a trip.� Jaheira nodded slowly, and Nalia looked relieved. “We leave for the D’Arnise Keep in an hour,� he added, determined to stamp his authority on the group once again.

They set out two hours later.

Edgar paused, looking off to the left. “Does she have a blue robe, reddish hair, and a constant look of surprise?�

Yoshimo turned to him, startled. “You’ve met her?�

“No, it’s just that a girl like that is being attacked over there in the corner.�

LOL! Well, thank goodness Edgar and friends have arrived to save the day.

“Look, Boo! The pretty drow’s fighting tip worked!� He paused, concentration written on his face as he seemed to be listening to something. “But you’re right. Minsc should be a righteous kicker of butts, not a devious kicker of…�

Good work, Viconia!

The huge man obediently moved to one side as another man came past him and surveyed her. He was fairly tall, with light blonde hair and a blue tunic. A fairly pleasant face was marred only by a small scar on his chin. A sword hung loosely at his side. He wasn’t grinning sadistically, which she counted as an improvement on her previous situation.

And a good description of our hero.

Edgar felt affronted. “I think you’ll find that we’re well up to any task. Where we’re concerned, size doesn’t matter.�

Behind him, Viconia laughed softly. “So that’s why you were so unwilling last night,� she whispered in his ear. He blushed and ignored her, hoping that no-one else had heard. He really would have to have a word with her. Jaheira shot a glare at the grinning drow, who took it with supreme indifference.

Ah, this party will be SO much fun to travel with. If you're not Edgar.

“There’s no time!� pleaded Nalia. “I can explain once we…� she broke off as Jaheira glared at her, and part of the half-elven woman was pleased to see that not everyone was immune. Nalia took a deep breath, and the words rushed out. “Trolls! We were attacked by trolls! I don’t know where they came from, but they could break into the keep at any time! Please, we must go!�

Oh, good! You made her tell you! I was very angry with Nalia my first time through the game. If I'd known, I would have loaded up on the ammo.

“We leave for the D’Arnise Keep in an hour,� he added, determined to stamp his authority on the group once again.

They set out two hours later.

Hah! Moving people is like herding cattle. That's what I learned at my wedding.

Good chapter!

The look on his face abruptly changed to one of agony, and he fell sideways. Behind him stood a large, bald man with a raised knee.

“Look, Boo! The pretty drow’s fighting tip worked!� He paused, concentration written on his face as he seemed to be listening to something. “But you’re right. Minsc should be a righteous kicker of butts, not a devious kicker of…�

Bwahahaha!! Minsc is a fast learner.

He hesitated, rather taken aback. “Um, well, two of my men are here.� He indicated Minsc, who smiled at her before delivering a vicious kick to the still-moaning thug, and Yoshimo, who simply nodded. “And the rest of my men are… well, women.� He indicated Jaheira, who frowned at the growing realisation in the young girl’s eyes, and Viconia, who just smirked at her.

Nalia felt like laughing hysterically. “So…there are five of you? Just five?�

Edgar felt affronted. “I think you’ll find that we’re well up to any task. Where we’re concerned, size doesn’t matter.�

A bit of a nitpic. There were several places where you 'head-hopped', that is jumped from one person's perspective to another. In this bit, you changed from Edgar's POV to Nalia's and back again. This is confusing for the reader, so it is best to avoid doing this. It is okay to change perspective, but it has to be a clean cut, say part of the story from one person's view and the second part from another's.

“There’s no time!� pleaded Nalia. “I can explain once we…� she broke off as Jaheira glared at her, and part of the half-elven woman was pleased to see that not everyone was immune. Nalia took a deep breath, and the words rushed out. “Trolls! We were attacked by trolls! I don’t know where they came from, but they could break into the keep at any time! Please, we must go!�

And here you went into Jaheira's head.

Nalia bridled at the insult and Edgar felt that it was time to retake the initiative. “Regardless, now we know,� he said firmly. “Yoshimo and I will pick up some fire arrows. The rest of you, prepare for a trip.� Jaheira nodded slowly, and Nalia looked relieved. “We leave for the D’Arnise Keep in an hour,� he added, determined to stamp his authority on the group once again.

They set out two hours later.

A very nice chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one!

I'm one chapter ahead at the moment, for a change! The next chapter's a pretty long one, but first things first, eh?

It's great and relaxing to have a backlog. Hmm, I have 36 chapters unposted... then again, I've been writing for almost a year.

Nalia cringed as her attacker leered over her. She hadn’t expected this to happen! People were usually so grateful when she visited them! But suddenly, when she was the one needing help, nobody wanted to know. And since she wasn’t giving out handouts, nobody had any interest in protecting her. The nerve of these people!

That is Nalia, alright. One wonders, if this is the first time she's been treated so disrespectfully.

“Look, Boo! The pretty drow’s fighting tip worked!� He paused, concentration written on his face as he seemed to be listening to something. “But you’re right. Minsc should be a righteous kicker of butts, not a devious kicker of…�

It hurts enough when Viconia does it... but Minsc? Uh... then again, that fellow sure deserved it.

He hesitated, rather taken aback. “Um, well, two of my men are here.� He indicated Minsc, who smiled at her before delivering a vicious kick to the still-moaning thug, and Yoshimo, who simply nodded. “And the rest of my men are… well, women.� He indicated Jaheira, who frowned at the growing realisation in the young girl’s eyes, and Viconia, who just smirked at her.

Nalia felt like laughing hysterically. “So…there are five of you? Just five?�

I suppose she can forgiven for not knowing that these five are a small and very efficient army in itself.

Edgar felt affronted. “I think you’ll find that we’re well up to any task. Where we’re concerned, size doesn’t matter.�

Behind him, Viconia laughed softly. “So that’s why you were so unwilling last night,� she whispered in his ear. He blushed and ignored her, hoping that no-one else had heard. He really would have to have a word with her. Jaheira shot a glare at the grinning drow, who took it with supreme indifference.

*groan* You know... Viconia and Jaheira has a few things in common, in that they both know how to deflate a male's ego - just that Viconia strikes a lot lower...

“Who’s attacking you?� asked Jaheira, eyeing her suspiciously. “ I’ve seen the kind of castles Amnish nobles build. It would have to be a fairly large army.�

“There’s no time!� pleaded Nalia. “I can explain once we…� she broke off as Jaheira glared at her, and part of the half-elven woman was pleased to see that not everyone was immune. Nalia took a deep breath, and the words rushed out. “Trolls! We were attacked by trolls! I don’t know where they came from, but they could break into the keep at any time! Please, we must go!�

Yay! See, Jaheira's glare works - and good for Nalia, or she would have been on the receiving end of something... unpleasant, if she didn't tell.

Nalia bridled at the insult and Edgar felt that it was time to retake the initiative. “Regardless, now we know,� he said firmly. “Yoshimo and I will pick up some fire arrows. The rest of you, prepare for a trip.� Jaheira nodded slowly, and Nalia looked relieved. “We leave for the D’Arnise Keep in an hour,� he added, determined to stamp his authority on the group once again.

They set out two hours later.

It's tough to earn respect... especially from those two females in this nice group of misfits.

Nice chapter!

LOL! Well, thank goodness Edgar and friends have arrived to save the day.

Yup! They need to start out with saving women in bars before they can work their way up to saving the world...

Ah, this party will be SO much fun to travel with. If you're not Edgar.

Edgar: That really doesn't help.

Oh, good! You made her tell you! I was very angry with Nalia my first time through the game. If I'd known, I would have loaded up on the ammo.

Yes, I couldn't stand the thought of turning up unprepared. Besides, my chapter about saving the keep is a bit different from usual. Being prepared is an important part of it.

Hah! Moving people is like herding cattle. That's what I learned at my wedding.

And moving Jaheira and Viconia is even harder...

Good chapter!

Thanks for commenting!

Bwahahaha!! Minsc is a fast learner.

Never let it be said that Minsc is slow or stupid, he picks things up very well

A bit of a nitpic. There were several places where you 'head-hopped', that is jumped from one person's perspective to another. In this bit, you changed from Edgar's POV to Nalia's and back again. This is confusing for the reader, so it is best to avoid doing this. It is okay to change perspective, but it has to be a clean cut, say part of the story from one person's view and the second part from another's.

And here you went into Jaheira's head.

Dammit! You're right. Thanks for pointing that out. I can make sure to avoid it in the future.

A very nice chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one!

Thanks!

It's great and relaxing to have a backlog. Hmm, I have 36 chapters unposted... then again, I've been writing for almost a year.

Ah, the kind of backlog I can only dream of.

It hurts enough when Viconia does it... but Minsc? Uh... then again, that fellow sure deserved it.

I don't even want to think about the pain involved from a kick by Minsc. Writing about it made me wince as it was.

I suppose she can forgiven for not knowing that these five are a small and very efficient army in itself.

Well, she'll soon find out! Hopefully.

*groan* You know... Viconia and Jaheira has a few things in common, in that they both know how to deflate a male's ego - just that Viconia strikes a lot lower...

She does. Below the belt, as it were...

Yay! See, Jaheira's glare works - and good for Nalia, or she would have been on the receiving end of something... unpleasant, if she didn't tell.

Jaheira's glare works on virtually anything. It's just her bad luck that it doesn't work on Viconia.

It's tough to earn respect... especially from those two females in this nice group of misfits.

Nice chapter!

Thanks for commenting!

Ey, Eddie, good chapter

You know, I have taken to read Edgar pronounced as "Edgaaaarch" when I read it here

Yes, I'm weird, and I don't care.

Ey, Eddie, good chapter

Thanks, Argie!

You know, I have taken to read Edgar pronounced as "Edgaaaarch" when I read it here

Yes, I'm weird, and I don't care.

Hmmm. A strange pronunciation. Sounds rather like you started out correctly, but then had a sudden urge to clear your throat

[quote][quote]Ey, Eddie, good chapter [/quote]

Thanks, Argie!

[/quote]



[quote]
You know, I have taken to read Edgar pronounced as "Edgaaaarch" when I read it here

Yes, I'm weird, and I don't care.[/quote]

Hmmm. A strange pronunciation. Sounds rather like you started out correctly, but then had a sudden urge to clear your throat [/quote]

Yeah, I do stuff like that sometimes...don't ask me why.

Edgar glanced around as the rest of the party joined him and Yoshimo at the bar. Viconia was looking smug, but that wasn’t anything unusual. He turned to Yoshimo. “Are any of the people here the ones you mentioned? People who might want to hire us?”

The bounty hunter studied the room. “Hmm. I was hoping that we’d find one Nalia D’Arnise here. Last night she was looking for mercenaries.”

Edgar paused, looking off to the left. “Does she have a blue robe, reddish hair, and a constant look of surprise?”

Yoshimo turned to him, startled. “You’ve met her?”

“No, it’s just that a girl like that is being attacked over there in the corner.”

Heh, heh, I don't know why, but I found the entire exchange funny. Then again I do have an evil sense of humor.

Nalia cringed as her attacker leered over her. She hadn’t expected this to happen! People were usually so grateful when she visited them! But suddenly, when she was the one needing help, nobody wanted to know. And since she wasn’t giving out handouts, nobody had any interest in protecting her. The nerve of these people!

Tsk, she's got a lot to learn as to how to properly help people.

“Look, Boo! The pretty drow’s fighting tip worked!” He paused, concentration written on his face as he seemed to be listening to something. “But you’re right. Minsc should be a righteous kicker of butts, not a devious kicker of…”

Oh no, Minsc can be a devious kicker of as well.

Nalia felt like laughing hysterically. “So…there are five of you? Just five?”

Oh, this group is up to the task.

Edgar felt affronted. “I think you’ll find that we’re well up to any task. Where we’re concerned, size doesn’t matter.”

*whistles innnocently*

“Who’s attacking you?” asked Jaheira, eyeing her suspiciously. “ I’ve seen the kind of castles Amnish nobles build. It would have to be a fairly large army.”

Good point.

“There’s no time!” pleaded Nalia. “I can explain once we…” she broke off as Jaheira glared at her, and part of the half-elven woman was pleased to see that not everyone was immune. Nalia took a deep breath, and the words rushed out. “Trolls! We were attacked by trolls! I don’t know where they came from, but they could break into the keep at any time! Please, we must go!”

No one is safe from a Jaheira glare!

Jaheira remained unimpressed. “So, your original plan was to lead us into combat with these creatures, and only then tell us what they were? Expecting us to defeat them by standing there and wishing that we’d picked up the necessary equipment in Athkatla? How did you think we were going to kill them without bringing fire and acid, you silly little girl?”

With the mysterious magic known only as CTRL-Y.

Heh, heh, I don't know why, but I found the entire exchange funny. Then again I do have an evil sense of humor.

Well, I could afford to make it funny, I knew that they'd easily save her...

Tsk, she's got a lot to learn as to how to properly help people.

Yes, indeed. But at least she tries.

Oh no, Minsc can be a devious kicker of as well.

But usually only when he misses the bottom by accident!

Oh, this group is up to the task.

If they're not, they might as well give up the whole "Kill Irenicus" business.

*whistles innnocently*

What? Tchah, you're as bad as Viconia.

No one is safe from a Jaheira glare!

Her glare can cut through walls, you know. You could hang her above James Bond and use her as a laser.

Thanks for commenting!