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Maintaining the Balance--Chapter the Fourth


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#1 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 12:01 AM

Maintaining the Balance

The sight that met her eyes when she opened the door made Tansy bite back a startled curse. The room was mostly bare, save for two tables, a chest, and a large, bell-shaped glass jar. It was the jar that had drawn the oath to her lips; or rather, the contents of the jar.

There was…something…curled up inside. It may have once been human or Elven, but whatever it was now, it was not natural. The worst of it, though, was that it was looking at her. Large, dead blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her own brown ones.

“Ahh, who be thee? Servants of the master?” Tansy nearly jumped out of her skin when the thing spoke. Struggling to maintain her composure, she stared blankly, trying to formulate an answer. Thankfully, Minsc saved her the trouble.

“We are the Servants of Goodness, small pickled man. But what are you doing in that jar?”

“I was Rielev…dead now…or dying…I remember not…I was a faithful slave, until I fell ill. The master promised to revive me when he had cured my sickness, but he has forgotten me.”

“That’s horrible! I wish there was something we could do,” Imoen murmured.

“Perhaps we can,” Tansy replied softly. Addressing Rielev, she said “Is it true death that you wish? Release?”

The excitement in his voice nearly broke her heart. “Release! Yes! I…I no longer wish to come back…Let me rest…”

“Tell me what I must do.”

“The crystals powering this unit…take them, and I will slip beyond recall. Use them to revive the others…maybe they will be of more help to me.”

Tansy got down on her knees and felt around at the base of the jar. Her hand caught a small, slightly ridged protrusion, and she grabbed onto it. A sharp tug sent it sliding smoothly out into her palm. Rielev’s eyes slipped closed; he exhaled once, sending a trail of bubbles up through the liquid in his jar, and then he breathed no more.

Tansy laid the crystals carefully on a nearby table. Pausing at the door, she turned and regarded the darkened unit. “Go in peace,” she whispered.
__________________________________________


Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.

#2 Guest_Chantrys_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 02:29 AM

The sight that met her eyes when she opened the door made Tansy bite back a startled curse. The room was mostly bare, save for two tables, a chest, and a large, bell-shaped glass jar. It was the jar that had drawn the oath to her lips; or rather, the contents of the jar.

There was…something…curled up inside. It may have once been human or Elven, but whatever it was now, it was not natural. The worst of it, though, was that it was looking at her. Large, dead blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her own brown ones.


Ooh! This was the creepiest bit in Irenicus' dungeon for me. And you described it very well.

Thankfully, Minsc saved her the trouble.

“We are the Servants of Goodness, small pickled man. But what are you doing in that jar?”


Ah, Minsc, where would we be without you? :D

Tansy laid the crystals carefully on a nearby table. Pausing at the door, she turned and regarded the darkened unit. “Go in peace,” she whispered.


Oh, she's not gonna like that room with all the jars...

I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating.


I know what you mean...it's hard to make something new out of a place where we have all been an endless number of times. But you're doing a great job so far...keep up the good work!

#3 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 02:56 AM

Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


I understand completely, I’m only a few steps ahead of you on my trip through Château Irenicus. It’s all in the balance between the familiar and the new, to much new people will complain that you have changed to much, not enough and people will complain they are bored.

I like what your doing, keep at it.

#4 Guest_Userunfriendly_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:40 AM

you know, when i first played that scene, i got this mental image of an old ed woods movie, "they saved hitler's brain" in which the head of hitler was picked and alive in a jar...ick...

I know about writing in dungeon one...what I did was write the chapters I wanted to write, do the scenes I wanted and just moved my party out...much easier and more fun for me to write that way...

but it feels like you're trying to set mood and emotions, and chapter one is pretty intense...

good job!

#5 Guest_Dark-Mage_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 08:36 AM

A short chapter yes, but still good. Keep up the good work. :D

#6 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 09:57 AM

Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


Oh, a sentiment I can fully understand. Still, I think that there are some important scenes in the dungeon that should not be skipped. Finding Khalid probably being the most important of them. :D

Well, if it helps, then know that I was not bored by reading this, quite the contrary. :lol:

#7 Guest_Hunter_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 11:14 AM

[quote]Maintaining the Balance
[/quote]

[quote]
The sight that met her eyes when she opened the door made Tansy bite back a startled curse. The room was mostly bare, save for two tables, a chest, and a large, bell-shaped glass jar. It was the jar that had drawn the oath to her lips; or rather, the contents of the jar.

Much like the a scene from "aliens: ressurection" if you have seen that one.

[quote]
Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.[/quote]

You're rusty after a vacation? Arent a vacation supposed to have the opposite effect?

#8 Weyoun

Posted 19 September 2003 - 06:25 PM

Maintaining the Balance


There was…something…curled up inside. It may have once been human or Elven, but whatever it was now, it was not natural. The worst of it, though, was that it was looking at her. Large, dead blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her own brown ones.


Brrrr... That scene always gives me the creeps in the game.

“Ahh, who be thee? Servants of the master?” Tansy nearly jumped out of her skin when the thing spoke. Struggling to maintain her composure, she stared blankly, trying to formulate an answer. Thankfully, Minsc saved her the trouble.


“We are the Servants of Goodness, small pickled man. But what are you doing in that jar?”


*snicker* Small pickled man, ey? :roll:

“The crystals powering this unit…take them, and I will slip beyond recall. Use them to revive the others…maybe they will be of more help to me.”


Tansy got down on her knees and felt around at the base of the jar. Her hand caught a small, slightly ridged protrusion, and she grabbed onto it. A sharp tug sent it sliding smoothly out into her palm. Rielev’s eyes slipped closed; he exhaled once, sending a trail of bubbles up through the liquid in his jar, and then he breathed no more.


Tansy laid the crystals carefully on a nearby table. Pausing at the door, she turned and regarded the darkened unit. “Go in peace,” she whispered.
__________________________________________


Actually you handled it quite warmly. :cry:

Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


Wonderful to see you back. Don't give up hope, though... though Chateau Irenicus gets to us all at some point. :lol:

---Weyoun
TnT Enhanced Edition: http://www.fanfictio...rds-and-Tempers

---
Sith Warrior - Master, I can sense your anger.

Darth Baras - A blind, comotose lobotomy-patient could sense my anger!

---

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds" - James Randi

#9 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:28 PM

[quote][quote]The sight that met her eyes when she opened the door made Tansy bite back a startled curse. The room was mostly bare, save for two tables, a chest, and a large, bell-shaped glass jar. It was the jar that had drawn the oath to her lips; or rather, the contents of the jar.

There was…something…curled up inside. It may have once been human or Elven, but whatever it was now, it was not natural. The worst of it, though, was that it was looking at her. Large, dead blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her own brown ones.
[/quote]

Ooh! This was the creepiest bit in Irenicus' dungeon for me. And you described it very well.
[/quote]

Thank you! Believe it or not, I was more creeped out by the room with the dryads...I was convinced that there would be a dragon in there (don't ask me why.

[quote]
Thankfully, Minsc saved her the trouble.

“We are the Servants of Goodness, small pickled man. But what are you doing in that jar?” [/quote]

Ah, Minsc, where would we be without you? :roll:
[/quote]

In a much saner, but much poorer world.

[quote]
Tansy laid the crystals carefully on a nearby table. Pausing at the door, she turned and regarded the darkened unit. “Go in peace,” she whispered. [/quote]

Oh, she's not gonna like that room with all the jars...
[/quote]

No, she won't. Not at all.

[quote]I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. [/quote]

I know what you mean...it's hard to make something new out of a place where we have all been an endless number of times. But you're doing a great job so far...keep up the good work![/quote]

Thank you!

#10 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:37 PM



Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


I understand completely, I’m only a few steps ahead of you on my trip through Château Irenicus. It’s all in the balance between the familiar and the new, to much new people will complain that you have changed to much, not enough and people will complain they are bored.

I like what your doing, keep at it.



Thank you! Like I said, I'm going to try to just highlight the rest of the important emotional moments and get the hell out of here.

#11 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:42 PM

you know, when i first played that scene, i got this mental image of an old ed woods movie, "they saved hitler's brain" in which the head of hitler was picked and alive in a jar...ick...

I know about writing in dungeon one...what I did was write the chapters I wanted to write, do the scenes I wanted and just moved my party out...much easier and more fun for me to write that way...

but it feels like you're trying to set mood and emotions, and chapter one is pretty intense...

good job!



Yeah, I can see where you might get that image. That was a terrible movie. :roll:

I am trying to base this story more on Tansy's connection with her druidic faith and her love of her friends than on the action that takes place. If I succeed, it will be the most emotional thing I've ever written.

#12 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:47 PM

A short chapter yes, but still good. Keep up the good work. :roll:


Thank you! I'm glad you all liked it.

#13 Guest_Yunami_Silverblade_*

Posted 19 September 2003 - 07:54 PM


Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


Oh, a sentiment I can fully understand. Still, I think that there are some important scenes in the dungeon that should not be skipped. Finding Khalid probably being the most important of them. :roll:

Well, if it helps, then know that I was not bored by reading this, quite the contrary. :lol:


Yes, that's definitely an imporatnt scene. In order to get to it, however, I'll have to go through several fight scenes, which I am most definitely not good at writing. :cry:

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

#14 Laufey

Posted 23 September 2003 - 11:58 AM

Maintaining the Balance


Good to see you posting again. :)

The sight that met her eyes when she opened the door made Tansy bite back a startled curse. The room was mostly bare, save for two tables, a chest, and a large, bell-shaped glass jar. It was the jar that had drawn the oath to her lips; or rather, the contents of the jar.

There was…something…curled up inside. It may have once been human or Elven, but whatever it was now, it was not natural. The worst of it, though, was that it was looking at her. Large, dead blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her own brown ones.


Oh yes, poor Rielev. :) First time I played this, I was really freaked out.

“Ahh, who be thee? Servants of the master?” Tansy nearly jumped out of her skin when the thing spoke. Struggling to maintain her composure, she stared blankly, trying to formulate an answer. Thankfully, Minsc saved her the trouble.


“We are the Servants of Goodness, small pickled man. But what are you doing in that jar?”


Minsc...he's so cute. :)


Tansy got down on her knees and felt around at the base of the jar. Her hand caught a small, slightly ridged protrusion, and she grabbed onto it. A sharp tug sent it sliding smoothly out into her palm. Rielev’s eyes slipped closed; he exhaled once, sending a trail of bubbles up through the liquid in his jar, and then he breathed no more.


Tansy laid the crystals carefully on a nearby table. Pausing at the door, she turned and regarded the darkened unit. “Go in peace,” she whispered.
__________________________________________


:)


Okay, quite a short chapter this time...I'm a bit rusty after such a long vacation, so I figured it would be better just to keep it simple. I almost wish I'd started the story outside Chateau Irenicus...It's getting rather frustrating. I'll probably be summarizing left and right for the next few chapters, but I swear they'll get longer once they're out of here.


I know very well the frustration of Chateau Irenicus. I suggest summarizing the parts not really essential to the plot, but leaving in certain important key elements such as the encounter with Yoshimo for instance.
Rogues do it from behind.




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