Beloved Child 61

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Also, there will be an update next Sunday but I won`t be able to respond to that until at least the Sunday after that and there won`t be a new chapter on that Sunday.

Please Enjoy.

Beloved Child 61

The two youths stood looking at each other, one nervously and the other with an easy condescending look.

“Well… Istrovir is dead.” Groder stated.

Nym nodded.

“I know, my m… my matron is not pleased.” He sounded worried. “Istrovir was useful after all.”

“And what happens now?” the bhaalspawn asked.

“I don’t know… Now I am the first boy and well…” Nym trailed off and then something lit up in his eyes. “I could come with you to Ched Nassad… It seems more eh… open.”

Groder raised an eyebrow.

“Open?” He echoed.

“Well, your own females seem very…” Nym seemed to search for words. “Unconcerned with the hierarchies and the two oldest are even sisters.”

“Oh…” Groder said and then laughed softly.

“If… if it is because…” The nervous Drow youth began.

“The fact that we enjoyed ourselves a little less then I might have preferred?” Groder asked and then waved his hand lazily in the air. “Not at all…”

Groder walked over to the edge of the roof. They were quite high up. The youth looked out over the edge to the street and chasms far below.

“Then…?” Nym`s voice sounded like it was about to break.

Groder shrugged.

“I suppose it is more of you being a fun diversion and me being well… me…”

“What?” Nym sounded confused now as he came to stand next to Groder.

“THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.

“I am, in fact.” Groder told the voice of his long dead father. “It has nothing to do with you.”

Nym got a very dubious look on his face and Groder realized he had been talking out loud. The youth sighed, smiled at Nym and put his arm around the young Drow`s shoulder.

“Look, we are not exactly going back to Ched Nassad after we are done here.” The youth said. “We have other places to go as well…”

“But can’t I come with you to wherever you are going?” Nym asked.

Groder contemplated if he should just push Nym over the edge. It would solve his problems. Unfortunately his long dead but ever present father had decided that he liked the idea as well. This presented a conflict, he wanted to be rid of Nym but not please his father whom he hated. Groder gazed at the Drow youth. He needed to do something, he just couldn’t figure out what.
The youth regarded himself as intelligent and believed that he had proved the same over time. But there had also been situations in which he had responded with abject violence and that had pleased him as well. Now he had no idea how to respond.

“I’ll… I’ll go back home and…” Nym looked depressed. “See what happens…”

The Drow turned quickly and walked away. Groder was about to raise his voice to stop Nym but said nothing and watched the Drow walk away.

“STILL AIMING TO DISAPPOINT I SEE…” Bhaals voice faded as well.

**

After Groder had returned to their room, the party sat down and discussed what to do next. They were seated around the table that brimmed with food and drink. The tavern owner had won big in Groder`s fight as well.

“We have still not been able to gain accesses the temple properly.” Was the first thing Viconia said when the discussion began. “So I suggest we go to this meeting Phaere spoke of and meet her and see if we can find any new angles.”

“I thought we didn’t have any angles.” Nalia interjected. “All we have is the assumption that the eggs are in the temple.”

“This is probably correct.” Viconia went on and sipped her wine.

“But we are not sure.” Jaheira said and turned her attention to her plate.

“Well, we have to start somewhere and we haven’t started yet.” Viconia speared a piece of meat.

“So we go for Phaere then…?” Haer`Dalis asked.

Viconia waved her fork in the air.

“I don’t see any other option.” Then she turned her attention to Groder. “How did things go with Nym?”

Groder shrugged.

“Fine I suppose, I doubt we will see much more of him.” The youth said.

“Eh, you didn’t kill him did you?” Imoen asked.
“What?” Groder looked confused for a while. “No, I didn’t.”

“Hmm… Just as long as he doesn’t create problems for us.” Viconia mused and crinkled her brow.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

“That sounded harsh…” Viconia smiled. “Is the Drow getting to you, Jaheira?”

“Hardly but it is the truth.” The druid responded.

Groder laughed.

**

Phaere awaited them in a sitting room of opulent expanse, not something you would expect to find at what was supposed to be a fighter’s academy. She sat sunken in a plush chair covered in furs and little else. She meant to entice but who was not entirely clear, perhaps all of them.

“So you have come… good… I appreciate punctuality.” Phaere said lazily. “I know you all are held in high regard by my mother and will be invited to witness the ritual of course.” She sat suddenly straighter.

“I have an offer for you all. My mother is not lavish in her attentions unlike myself and she will forget about you soon enough. I would not but I lack power, imagine a first daughter saying that she lacks power but my mother is a careful female. This can change of course if you were to me a few favours, I would favour you very much in return.”

“Go on, we are listening.” Viconia said and crossed her arms.

“I am sure.” Phaere drawled. “But first I must know that I can trust you, as much as anyone can trust anyone else of course. If you would remove a thorn form my side, we can speak further.”

“What thorn would that be?” Jaheira asked.

“Solaufein.” Phaere responded and did not notice Imoen stiffening. “I have grown tired of him and his insolence…” She sighed. “Kill him and bring me his cloak, then we will talk.”

Once the party was outside, Imoen spoke up.

“We are not going to kill him are we?” She asked worriedly.

“We should talk to him first.” Jaheira said and rested a hand on Imoen`s shoulder. Then the half-elf looked at Viconia.

“Well, we could always overpower him if things go sour, which they will.” Viconia commented.

“Ah, tragic love…” Haer`Dalis sighed. “Much like mine and The Raven`s…”

“Stop that…” Groder growled. “Let’s just go there and see him.”

**

Solaufein reacted immediately when they entered the training area. He pulled a blade loose and stood ready.

“There are few reasons I can think off that bring you here.” He hissed.

Imoen held up her hands, they had decided that she should do the talking.

“Look, whatever you think. We are no here to kill you, despite the fact that Phaere told us to.”

Solaufein sighed.

“So it has come to that then? She is finally making her moves against Ardulace?” The Drow said. “To imagine that she was quiet different before…” He trailed off and then looked hard at the party. “But what I don’t understand is this mercy you are showing me. Something is odd about all of you but to think that you all may be worshippers of Lady Silverhair is a bit much.”

Viconia snorted loudly.

“Bah, we are no such thing.” She said. “We are all heathens I think.”

“Thanks, Viconia.” Imoen rolled her eyes.

“My pleasure.” The Drow cleric smiled.

Solaufein looked confused now.

“Well, you see, as I said we are not going to kill you but we need your cloak to prove that you are well… dead.” Imoen explained, running a hand through her pink hair.

“But if you are not… then what prompts all this?” The Drow warrior looked lost.

“Well, we are actually surfacers, heh…” Imoen smiled and shrugged. “We are here to get Adalons eggs back actually.”

Solaufein began laughing.

“Surfacers? Ah… that explains the oddities then.” He smiled. “I wondered… but you shall have my cloak and I shall leave this city.” He began undoing his piwaffi cloak.

“You could come with us when we leave.” Imoen offered.

“Truly?” Solaufein seemed surprised and held his cloak in his hands. “But my kind is not exactly wildly loved on the surface, would it not create problems for you?”

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

Solaufein`s face was thoughtful when he handed over the cloak to Imoen.

“Let me think on it… I shall return with an answer but I must hide for now.” He said.

Imoen quickly grabbed his hand squeezed it gently. Solaufein`s face betrayed no emotion but his eyes seemed to sparkle for a second. And then he was gone, slipping into the shadows.

**

Phaere ran the cloak through her hands with a thoughtful expression. She had moved from the chair to stand before an open fire.

“This is the last of that foolishness.” She said and tossed the cloak into the fire. “Now…” The Drow princess turned towards the party with a wicked smile on her lips.

“To spill my mothers little secret.” Her grin widened. “She has stolen the eggs of a silver dragon and intends to sacrifice them to a demon to aid our war with darthiir. Oh, don’t look so surprised… my mother is resourceful after all.” Phaere dissaperead from the room for a few minutes into an adjecant one and then returned with a bundle of cloth.

“I want you to bring me the real eggs and replace them with these fakes I had made. I have also given you a copy of the key to the temples treasury and a copy of the ward stone that deactivates the golems in there.” She laughed softly and it was almost a purring. “So easy to get all of it as well.”

“So we are to go into the temple and steal the eggs?” Viconia asked.

“Yes, that was what I said.” Phaere snapped.

“The guarded temple?” Viconia pressed.

“I didn`t say it was going to be easy now did I?” The Drow noble huffed. “Your glory will be endless if you aid me and remember that you do not breathe a word of this to anyone!”

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”

THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.

“I am, in fact.” Groder told the voice of his long dead father. “It has nothing to do with you.”

Nym got a very dubious look on his face and Groder realized he had been talking out loud. The youth sighed, smiled at Nym and put his arm around the young Drow`s shoulder.

Yikes! Better check your drow life insurance, Nym...

Groder contemplated if he should just push Nym over the edge. It would solve his problems. Unfortunately his long dead but ever present father had decided that he liked the idea as well. This presented a conflict, he wanted to be rid of Nym but not please his father whom he hated. Groder gazed at the Drow youth. He needed to do something, he just couldn’t figure out what.
The youth regarded himself as intelligent and believed that he had proved the same over time. But there had also been situations in which he had responded with abject violence and that had pleased him as well. Now he had no idea how to respond.

I like Groder's conflict here. I think it's great that there's a sort of depth to his violent tendencies. Makes it easier, for me at least, to root for him!

The Drow turned quickly and walked away. Groder was about to raise his voice to stop Nym but said nothing and watched the Drow walk away.

“STILL AIMING TO DISAPPOINT I SEE…” Bhaals voice faded as well.

Ah, so Nym is alive... I was sure he'd be a goner!

“Eh, you didn’t kill him did you?” Imoen asked.
“What?” Groder looked confused for a while. “No, I didn’t.”

“Hmm… Just as long as he doesn’t create problems for us.” Viconia mused and crinkled her brow.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

“That sounded harsh…” Viconia smiled. “Is the Drow getting to you, Jaheira?”

“Hardly but it is the truth.” The druid responded.

Groder laughed.

And again, the conversations are great.

Phaere awaited them in a sitting room of opulent expanse, not something you would expect to find at what was supposed to be a fighter’s academy. She sat sunken in a plush chair covered in furs and little else. She meant to entice but who was not entirely clear, perhaps all of them.

I love this description of Phaere and the sitting room. It seems kind of fitting, though, even when you remark on how odd it is in a fighting academy.

Imoen quickly grabbed his hand squeezed it gently. Solaufein`s face betrayed no emotion but his eyes seemed to sparkle for a second. And then he was gone, slipping into the shadows.

Awww!

“So we are to go into the temple and steal the eggs?” Viconia asked.

“Yes, that was what I said.” Phaere snapped.

“The guarded temple?” Viconia pressed.

“I didn`t say it was going to be easy now did I?” The Drow noble huffed.

Even with Phaere's preparations, I'm sure it'll be anything but easy!

I'm not sure what to say about the section breaks - I think they work well, and kind of border off each scene from the others. Okay, that's simple, but it feels natural to end each one where you do, I think. I'm also not one to talk about length, but I don;t think you should worry about whether the pieces are too long or too short. Whenever I read BC, there's always events happening in every chapter, and it gives it a sense of story and pace without needing a lot of room. I guess if you want to go longer or shorter, it just changes how much we get to see!

I don't know... hope that helps you out!

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Seemed fine to me… didn’t notice anything out of order.

“I know, my m… my matron is not pleased.” He sounded worried. “Istrovir was useful after all.”

For what? Slaughtering some incompetent fools, perhaps…

“I don’t know… Now I am the first boy and well…” Nym trailed off and then something lit up in his eyes. “I could come with you to Ched Nassad… It seems more eh… open.”

Not sure they’re going to Ched Nassad, really.

“THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.

Hmm, why not? (Just keep thinking of Nym as Aerie, in which case it sounds very appealing )

Groder contemplated if he should just push Nym over the edge. It would solve his problems. Unfortunately his long dead but ever present father had decided that he liked the idea as well. This presented a conflict, he wanted to be rid of Nym but not please his father whom he hated. Groder gazed at the Drow youth. He needed to do something, he just couldn’t figure out what.

You can, of course, kill him in another way than pushing him off the roof.

“Well, we have to start somewhere and we haven’t started yet.” Viconia speared a piece of meat.

“So we go for Phaere then…?” Haer`Dalis asked.

You lousy bard couldn’t even pillow-talk some info out of her.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

“That sounded harsh…” Viconia smiled. “Is the Drow getting to you, Jaheira?”

No, she was always like that.

“I have an offer for you all. My mother is not lavish in her attentions unlike myself and she will forget about you soon enough. I would not but I lack power, imagine a first daughter saying that she lacks power but my mother is a careful female. This can change of course if you were to me a few favours, I would favour you very much in return.”

I don’t see why not… I would prefer her to old witch Ardulace.

“Solaufein.” Phaere responded and did not notice Imoen stiffening. “I have grown tired of him and his insolence…” She sighed. “Kill him and bring me his cloak, then we will talk.”

Sounds good! (and yes, I often kill him, too.)

“There are few reasons I can think off that bring you here.” He hissed.

Well, maybe if you hadn’t been such an emo grouch this would not have happened!

“Truly?” Solaufein seemed surprised and held his cloak in his hands. “But my kind is not exactly wildly loved on the surface, would it not create problems for you?”

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

And those problems are usually created by Groder.

“This is the last of that foolishness.” She said and tossed the cloak into the fire. “Now…” The Drow princess turned towards the party with a wicked smile on her lips.

I feel quite sorry for her, knowing that something truly horrible has been done to make her as she is now.

“I didn`t say it was going to be easy now did I?” The Drow noble huffed. “Your glory will be endless if you aid me and remember that you do not breathe a word of this to anyone!”

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”

Hurray? It seems like the Underdark arch is drawing to a close.

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Well, the chapters did feel shorter than usual, recently, but I think that they should be timed to the events somehow, or a theme - so, as long as you keep to that, you should be fine.

“I’ll… I’ll go back home and…” Nym looked depressed. “See what happens…”

The Drow turned quickly and walked away. Groder was about to raise his voice to stop Nym but said nothing and watched the Drow walk away.

“STILL AIMING TO DISAPPOINT I SEE…” Bhaals voice faded as well.

“Hmm… Just as long as he doesn’t create problems for us.” Viconia mused and crinkled her brow.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

Aww. I suppose he will not.

Such an anticlimax. It feels an autumn story, sort of, dithering away depressed instead of ending in a blaze of glory...

I'm depressed today. Even Nym's survival does not strike me as a very happy thing.

Phaere awaited them in a sitting room of opulent expanse, not something you would expect to find at what was supposed to be a fighter’s academy. She sat sunken in a plush chair covered in furs and little else. She meant to entice but who was not entirely clear, perhaps all of them.

I think herself. What, why should she care for any outsiders?

Solaufein reacted immediately when they entered the training area. He pulled a blade loose and stood ready.

I think this is a great contrast between Phaere and him!

“So it has come to that then? She is finally making her moves against Ardulace?” The Drow said. “To imagine that she was quiet different before…” He trailed off and then looked hard at the party. “But what I don’t understand is this mercy you are showing me. Something is odd about all of you but to think that you all may be worshippers of Lady Silverhair is a bit much.”

Actually, Sola, it would make sense that a bunch of them would get together...

Although, on second thought, perhaps not. They would try to get outside, or something.

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

Yup. Everyone armed to the teeth, that's why! No one's going to contradict them.

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”

And so, the Underdark is about to close... Well, let's see what comes next.

I'm sort of curious what you are going to do with Sola... if he's going to die honourably for Imoen's sake, or tag along until Suldanessellar... What can I say? I like him.

...you wouldn't get Nym into Sendai's Enclave, would you?

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Shorter, perhaps, than usual, but not too short. The lengths are fine as far as I am concerned

“I don’t know… Now I am the first boy and well…” Nym trailed off and then something lit up in his eyes. “I could come with you to Ched Nassad… It seems more eh… open.”

You might want to ask a real native about that, Nym...

“The fact that we enjoyed ourselves a little less then I might have preferred?” Groder asked and then waved his hand lazily in the air. “Not at all…”

Ouch!

“I suppose it is more of you being a fun diversion and me being well… me…”

“What?” Nym sounded confused now as he came to stand next to Groder.

Poor Nym. Then again, as a Drow male this is probably not the last time he'll be used by someone and just cast aside

“But can’t I come with you to wherever you are going?” Nym asked.

He doesn't like you that way. (And that's probably just as well)

“Eh, you didn’t kill him did you?” Imoen asked.
“What?” Groder looked confused for a while. “No, I didn’t.”

After all, this is Groder. It's a perfectly natural question to ask

“Ah, tragic love…” Haer`Dalis sighed. “Much like mine and The Raven`s…”

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

Well, there's Groder...

THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.

“I am, in fact.” Groder told the voice of his long dead father. “It has nothing to do with you.”

Nym got a very dubious look on his face and Groder realized he had been talking out loud. The youth sighed, smiled at Nym and put his arm around the young Drow`s shoulder.

Yikes! Better check your drow life insurance, Nym...

The premium of those are really high!

Groder contemplated if he should just push Nym over the edge. It would solve his problems. Unfortunately his long dead but ever present father had decided that he liked the idea as well. This presented a conflict, he wanted to be rid of Nym but not please his father whom he hated. Groder gazed at the Drow youth. He needed to do something, he just couldn’t figure out what.
The youth regarded himself as intelligent and believed that he had proved the same over time. But there had also been situations in which he had responded with abject violence and that had pleased him as well. Now he had no idea how to respond.

I like Groder's conflict here. I think it's great that there's a sort of depth to his violent tendencies. Makes it easier, for me at least, to root for him!

Thank you. Although I am suprised that anyone is rooting for him.

The Drow turned quickly and walked away. Groder was about to raise his voice to stop Nym but said nothing and watched the Drow walk away.

“STILL AIMING TO DISAPPOINT I SEE…” Bhaals voice faded as well.

Ah, so Nym is alive... I was sure he'd be a goner!

Ayep... might still die though...

“Eh, you didn’t kill him did you?” Imoen asked.

“What?” Groder looked confused for a while. “No, I didn’t.”

“Hmm… Just as long as he doesn’t create problems for us.” Viconia mused and crinkled her brow.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

“That sounded harsh…” Viconia smiled. “Is the Drow getting to you, Jaheira?”

“Hardly but it is the truth.” The druid responded.

Groder laughed.

And again, the conversations are great.

Thankee, I have been a bit poor at commetning your story but I will pick up thye pace.

Phaere awaited them in a sitting room of opulent expanse, not something you would expect to find at what was supposed to be a fighter’s academy. She sat sunken in a plush chair covered in furs and little else. She meant to entice but who was not entirely clear, perhaps all of them.

I love this description of Phaere and the sitting room. It seems kind of fitting, though, even when you remark on how odd it is in a fighting academy.

Yep, I guess the game artists got lazy.

Imoen quickly grabbed his hand squeezed it gently. Solaufein`s face betrayed no emotion but his eyes seemed to sparkle for a second. And then he was gone, slipping into the shadows.

Awww!

“So we are to go into the temple and steal the eggs?” Viconia asked.

“Yes, that was what I said.” Phaere snapped.

“The guarded temple?” Viconia pressed.

“I didn`t say it was going to be easy now did I?” The Drow noble huffed.

Even with Phaere's preparations, I'm sure it'll be anything but easy!

It might be easier then it seems...

I'm not sure what to say about the section breaks - I think they work well, and kind of border off each scene from the others. Okay, that's simple, but it feels natural to end each one where you do, I think. I'm also not one to talk about length, but I don;t think you should worry about whether the pieces are too long or too short. Whenever I read BC, there's always events happening in every chapter, and it gives it a sense of story and pace without needing a lot of room. I guess if you want to go longer or shorter, it just changes how much we get to see!

I don't know... hope that helps you out!

Thank you.

[quote][quote]Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?[/quote]

Seemed fine to me… didn’t notice anything out of order.
[/quote]

Ok, thanks.

[quote]
[quote]“I know, my m… my matron is not pleased.” He sounded worried. “Istrovir was useful after all.” [/quote]

For what? Slaughtering some incompetent fools, perhaps…
[/quote]

Something like that...

[quote]
[quote] “I don’t know… Now I am the first boy and well…” Nym trailed off and then something lit up in his eyes. “I could come with you to Ched Nassad… It seems more eh… open.” [/quote]

Not sure they’re going to Ched Nassad, really.
[/quote]

Not really no...

[quote]
[quote]“THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.[/quote]

Hmm, why not? (Just keep thinking of Nym as Aerie, in which case it sounds very appealing )
[/quote]

Aw, you are so mean to poor lil Aerie... Eh Nym...

[quote]
[quote]
Groder contemplated if he should just push Nym over the edge. It would solve his problems. Unfortunately his long dead but ever present father had decided that he liked the idea as well. This presented a conflict, he wanted to be rid of Nym but not please his father whom he hated. Groder gazed at the Drow youth. He needed to do something, he just couldn’t figure out what. [/quote]

You can, of course, kill him in another way than pushing him off the roof.
[/quote]

Bhaal would still be happy.

[quote]
[quote]“Well, we have to start somewhere and we haven’t started yet.” Viconia speared a piece of meat.


“So we go for Phaere then…?” Haer`Dalis asked.
[/quote]

You lousy bard couldn’t even pillow-talk some info out of her.
[/quote]





[quote]
[quote]“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

"That sounded harsh…” Viconia smiled. “Is the Drow getting to you, Jaheira?”

No, she was always like that.
[/quote]

Kind of...

[quote]
[quote] “I have an offer for you all. My mother is not lavish in her attentions unlike myself and she will forget about you soon enough. I would not but I lack power, imagine a first daughter saying that she lacks power but my mother is a careful female. This can change of course if you were to me a few favours, I would favour you very much in return.”
[/quote]

I don’t see why not… I would prefer her to old witch Ardulace.
[/quote]

Heh... I think I would have to see them first...

[quote]
[quote]“Solaufein.” Phaere responded and did not notice Imoen stiffening. “I have grown tired of him and his insolence…” She sighed. “Kill him and bring me his cloak, then we will talk.” [/quote]

Sounds good! (and yes, I often kill him, too.)
[/quote]

Poor Sola...

[quote]
[quote]“There are few reasons I can think off that bring you here.” He hissed.
[/quote]

Well, maybe if you hadn’t been such an emo grouch this would not have happened!
[/quote]

Hmm....

"Be emo and get killed." New Drow slogan.

[quote]
[quote]“Truly?” Solaufein seemed surprised and held his cloak in his hands. “But my kind is not exactly wildly loved on the surface, would it not create problems for you?”

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.
[/quote]

And those problems are usually created by Groder.
[/quote]

Yeah, without him there would be fewer problems.

[quote]
[quote]“This is the last of that foolishness.” She said and tossed the cloak into the fire. “Now…” The Drow princess turned towards the party with a wicked smile on her lips.
[/quote]

I feel quite sorry for her, knowing that something truly horrible has been done to make her as she is now.
[/quote]

And I don`t even metion it...

[quote]
[quote]“I didn`t say it was going to be easy now did I?” The Drow noble huffed. “Your glory will be endless if you aid me and remember that you do not breathe a word of this to anyone!”

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”[/quote]

Hurray? It seems like the Underdark arch is drawing to a close.[/quote]

Yep, the next is almost the last one.

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Well, the chapters did feel shorter than usual, recently, but I think that they should be timed to the events somehow, or a theme - so, as long as you keep to that, you should be fine.

Ok. I think I will try for more lenght.

“I’ll… I’ll go back home and…” Nym looked depressed. “See what happens…”

The Drow turned quickly and walked away. Groder was about to raise his voice to stop Nym but said nothing and watched the Drow walk away.

“STILL AIMING TO DISAPPOINT I SEE…” Bhaals voice faded as well.

“Hmm… Just as long as he doesn’t create problems for us.” Viconia mused and crinkled her brow.

“From what Groder has said I doubt that boy could create problems for anyone.” Jaheira took a sip from her goblet.

Aww. I suppose he will not.

Such an anticlimax. It feels an autumn story, sort of, dithering away depressed instead of ending in a blaze of glory...

I'm depressed today. Even Nym's survival does not strike me as a very happy thing.

Hmm... I suppose it is a bit bittersweet.

Phaere awaited them in a sitting room of opulent expanse, not something you would expect to find at what was supposed to be a fighter’s academy. She sat sunken in a plush chair covered in furs and little else. She meant to entice but who was not entirely clear, perhaps all of them.

I think herself. What, why should she care for any outsiders?

I do know that some people enjoy prancing around naked in their own homes.

Solaufein reacted immediately when they entered the training area. He pulled a blade loose and stood ready.

I think this is a great contrast between Phaere and him!

I am a bit slow today I am afraid...

“So it has come to that then? She is finally making her moves against Ardulace?” The Drow said. “To imagine that she was quiet different before…” He trailed off and then looked hard at the party. “But what I don’t understand is this mercy you are showing me. Something is odd about all of you but to think that you all may be worshippers of Lady Silverhair is a bit much.”

Actually, Sola, it would make sense that a bunch of them would get together...

Although, on second thought, perhaps not. They would try to get outside, or something.

Well, a large group would be easier to find I think.

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

Yup. Everyone armed to the teeth, that's why! No one's going to contradict them.

That might be one of the reasons...

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”

And so, the Underdark is about to close... Well, let's see what comes next.

Drama!

I'm sort of curious what you are going to do with Sola... if he's going to die honourably for Imoen's sake, or tag along until Suldanessellar... What can I say? I like him.

...you wouldn't get Nym into Sendai's Enclave, would you?

Heh... We shall see... Sendai is going splat anyways...

Le Edit: Sola might become a new companion yes...

Hrmm…. Could I get some opinions on the section breaks and length in this chapter? Also are the chapters too short?

Shorter, perhaps, than usual, but not too short. The lengths are fine as far as I am concerned

Ok.

“I don’t know… Now I am the first boy and well…” Nym trailed off and then something lit up in his eyes. “I could come with you to Ched Nassad… It seems more eh… open.”

You might want to ask a real native about that, Nym...

Heh... As far as he knows Groder is...

“The fact that we enjoyed ourselves a little less then I might have preferred?” Groder asked and then waved his hand lazily in the air. “Not at all…”

Ouch!

Yep.

“I suppose it is more of you being a fun diversion and me being well… me…”

“What?” Nym sounded confused now as he came to stand next to Groder.

Poor Nym. Then again, as a Drow male this is probably not the last time he'll be used by someone and just cast aside

Then again he never really expected to live long.

“But can’t I come with you to wherever you are going?” Nym asked.

He doesn't like you that way. (And that's probably just as well)

Well, kinda...

“Eh, you didn’t kill him did you?” Imoen asked.
“What?” Groder looked confused for a while. “No, I didn’t.”

After all, this is Groder. It's a perfectly natural question to ask

That it is.

“Ah, tragic love…” Haer`Dalis sighed. “Much like mine and The Raven`s…”

“I am Drow and with a party like this there are few problems.” Viconia announced with her head held high.

Well, there's Groder...

Well, yeah... he creates the few problems...

Solaufein reacted immediately when they entered the training area. He pulled a blade loose and stood ready.

I think this is a great contrast between Phaere and him!

I am a bit slow today I am afraid...

Heh. Originally, I meant that:

They enter Phaere's house. She is spread on a couch.

They enter Sola's place. He pulls out a sword.

Later, I remembered that the meeting with Phaere was arranged, while the meeting with Sola wasn't, so that should account for the differences. So, all in all, the comment was useless, 'm sorry.

“THINKING ABOUT PUSHING HIM OVER THE EDGE?” A voice echoed in the bhaalspawns head.

What with him being quite quiet recently, it wasn't surprising he made an apprearance. Of course, that doesn't make it any more welcome... And poor Nym. I hope Groder ignores the fatherly words.

“But can’t I come with you to wherever you are going?” Nym asked.

That's quite forward for Nym, isn't it? I'm impressed!

“Ah, tragic love…” Haer`Dalis sighed. “Much like mine and The Raven`s…”

Love ... sure. I doubt Groder would describe it as such.

“Well, we are actually surfacers, heh…” Imoen smiled and shrugged. “We are here to get Adalons eggs back actually.”

For some reason, the way she was so blunt was a bit ominous. Luckily, I think we can trust Sola.

“Of course…” Jaheira filled in. “We shall go as soon as possible.”

I'm sure you'll manage to make this tougher than it was in the game. The sneaking in part, at least.

And the next chapter is already ready. Onward!