Jump to content


Ember's Tale 80: Loose Ends


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 19 August 2007 - 06:06 PM

Chapter 80: Loose Ends


It didn't take long for Ember and her companions to find Lieutenant Aegisfield again; he was still in the market square of the bridge district, talking to a woman who was leaning casually against the wall of an inn.

"Ah, it is you," he said as they approached. "I don't suppose you've learned anything from Rampah, have you?"

"Boo thinks Rampah is a very strange man!" Minsc exclaimed.

Ember held out the scrap of hide to the lieutenant. "He let us buy this from him. He found it near the murder scene."

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."

"Should we come with you?" Ember asked. "If he's the killer, it might be dangerous to confront him alone."

Aegisfield muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'adventurers'. "I've always known Rejiek Hidesman to be a reasonable man, if a bit gruff," he said. "However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."

"A wise decision," Yoshimo said.

---

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.

Lieutenant Aegisfield, on the other hand, showed no signs of discomfort as he walked up to the workshop. He gestured at Ember and her companions to make them stay back at the house corner, and knocked on the door with his fist. Soon, the door opened just enough for a short man with a mop of brown hair to stick his head out.

"I'm closed at the moment. Come back when I've replenished my stock," the man mumbled, and started to retreat back into the house.

"One moment, Hidesman," Aegisfield said. "I need to ask you a few questions."

"If it's about those murders again, I've already told you I know nothing. Why don't you go pester someone else?"

Aegisfield held out the piece of hide. "Do you know what this is?"

"Leather."

"Don't trifle with me, Rejiek. Even I can tell it is no usual hide. What is it?"

"Give it here," the tanner huffed, and snatched the scrap from the lieutenant's hand. "Elephant."

"The hide was found near the scene of the latest murder, and there was a scent of tannin there as well," Aegisfield said. "Have you made anything from such a hide lately?"

"You can't interrupt me like this," the tanner muttered. "My work must go on. My craft is all important. Nothing left to work on. No, only the ultimate materials."

"What are you talking about?"

"You will not stop what is unstoppable!" Quick as lightning, the tanner lunged forward and stabbed Aegisfield in the chest. The lieutenant slumped to the ground, and the tanner started to drag him inside the house.

"Halt, you fiend!" Anomen bellowed.

The tanner gave a start and let go of Aegisfield. "You don't understand! you couldn't! My work must go on!" he shouted as he scurried into the house. Ember and her companions hurried towards the lieutenant, who lay unconscious on the ground.

"Poison," Anomen announced, gesturing at the green-tinged dagger blade that was still stuck in Aegisfield's chest.

"I'll handle it," Ember said. "Go get that bastard." Minsc and Yoshimo went inside immediately, and the cleric hesitated only for a moment before following them.

As gently as possible, Ember wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the poisoned dagger and pulled it out of Aegisfield's chest. It came loose easily enough, but was followed by a small gush of blackened blood. Quickly, Ember placed a palm over the wound and forced her Bhaalspawn gift first to heal it, then to clear the poison. The double effort left her a little lightheaded, but she was rewarded with a few groans from the injured man. She said a healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.

"What..?" Aegisfield asked, then coughed a few times.

Ember pointedly held up the poisoned dagger. "I've cured and healed you, and my friends went inside after him. Can you stand?"

The lieutenant drew a deep breath and slowly got to his feet. "It appears so," he said, and coughed again. "Yes, I'll be fine. Let us go."

The lieutenant was not quite as well as he claimed; Ember had to support him with one arm as they entered the tanner's workshop. The room was empty; there was nothing unusual about it, other than a lack of the hides one would expect to find in such a place. A hinged trapdoor was open in a corner, revealing where the tanner and his pursuers had gone. Ember and Aegisfield climbed down through it into a room where several hides were stretched out over wooden frameworks and along the walls. Daylight seeped in through an open door.

Minsc, Yoshimo and Anomen were standing on a narrow pier on the other side of the doorway. A dead man and the remains of two ghouls lay at their feet. The tanner was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Rejiek?" Aegisfield asked.

"Gone," Yoshimo said, pointing under the bridge. "He and an accomplice escaped in a small boat while we were distracted by their friends here."

"Ran away, like cowards!" Minsc roared. "Tremble, evil, for Minsc will find you again!"

The lieutenant cursed. "Can you describe the accomplice?"

"He was a wizard," Anomen said. "He attempted to cast horror upon us before they fled, but fortunately I was prepared to counter the spell's effects."

"He was a tall, slender man in his fourties, with sallow skin, greying hair, and no beard," Yoshimo added.

"A description which could fit any number of wizards," Aegisfield said wearily. "All I can do now is make sure that he and the tanner will be apprehended the moment they return to the city."

They returned to the room with all the hides and searched it. A few letters talking about meetings lay in a cabinet, and a massive cuirass of thick, grey hide with a jagged tear on its lower edge had been stuffed under a bench. Aegisfield held the leather scrap over the torn spot; it was a perfect match.

"An excellent find!" Aegisfield said. "I will present this armour and the letters as evidence. With luck, the writings will give us an idea about where they might have gone."

"I... I've found something else," Ember said quietly.

Several hides of pale, thin leather hung on racks in one corner of the room, beside a workbench where the tanner had been assembling a tunic. It was a perfect piece of work, and almost completed; the stitches were so fine that they were almost invisible.

"My lady, is that-?" Anomen asked.

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."

---

"Those evil men must be stopped, or all who have skins will sleep in fear!" Minsc complained as the small group headed to Gaelan Bayle's house that evening.

"'Tis in the hands of the city Guard now," Anomen said. "Aegisfield seems competent enough; I have no doubt that he will bring justice to their black souls."

"It's a pity we couldn't have finished it here, though," Ember said, absentmindedly jiggling her coin purse. It was heavier than it had been for a very long time; the lieutenant had rewarded them with gems worth a few hundred gold. It had been a set sum, meant as a reward for assistance in identifying the murderer, not for catching him, but she still felt like they'd been paid in full for a job half done. We didn't catch him, and we don't know why he did those things. We don't know why he made that horrible tunic. It could be that the tanner had merely gone mad, but what role did his accomplice play?

"Be careful with that," Yoshimo cautioned her. "You wouldn't want to draw attention to our newfound wealth, hmm?"

"Oh, sorry." She hung the purse back on her belt and covered it with the hem of her tunic.

Yoshimo grinned. "Do not be worried. You have Yoshimo to watch your back!"

When they reached Bayle's house, they saw a young boy, no more than ten, sitting on the steps that led up to the front door. He stood up as they approached. "Hoy! You'd be the one I's watchin' for, aye? Uncle Gaelan told me to let you in."

"And where is your Uncle Gaelan, then?" Ember asked.

The child laughed. "Oh, yer a funny one! I like you. I'm Brus," he said, and held out a hand.

Ember took the child's hand and shook it as seriously as she would an Archduke's. "I'm Ember. Pleased to meet you, Brus."

"Renal's waiting for ye inside," Brus said. "Jus' follow me!" He flung the front door open and led them inside to the parlor where Bayle had offered them assistance for twenty thousand. A different man awaited them in the room; he looked as stern as Bayle looked jolly, and wore only black, from his boots to his leather armour to his cloak. The only colour on the man was the blood-red lining of his hood, which was down around his shoulders. His eyes followed Ember as she entered the room, making her feel a bit ill at ease. She glared at him, and his face wrinkled into a small smile.

"You'll have to excuse me if I stare, as you're not quite what I was expecting," the man said. "From all I have been told, I was expecting someone... grander."

"Is that so?" Ember asked coldly.

"Oh yes, I've been told many tales of your exploits, both here and further north. But before we continue, let me introduce myself," the man said. "My name is Renal, as I'm sure you've been told. I am also known as Renal Bloodscalp... a little nickname I've earned over time. Rather grisly, but it keeps the fearful in line."

"Your name is known to me, Bloodscalp!" Anomen said. "My lady, this man is a renowned Shadow Thief!"

"That I may be, young Delryn," Bloodscalp said, looking straight at Anomen, "but at this moment, it should be of no concern to you. Ah, relax, squire! I am not about to ask your lady here to commit any crimes."

"What is it you want from me?" Ember asked.

"Right to the point, eh? Refreshing. I am sick of underlings who shift from foot to foot; a bit of directness is a nice change," Bloodscalp said. "To be short, there is a particular task that I need performed, and you are just the one to do it."

Ember raised an eyebrow.

"My problem is this: one of my guildhouses to the south is run by a rather ambitious fellow named Mae'Var. Good thief, but I never liked him. Now I know why. I've had some hints that he is getting too big for himself. Thinking of taking my place, I suspect, but I've had no real evidence to say that this is so." Bloodscalp paused to sip from a goblet. "Now, you're likely thinking: why not just eliminate him? Yes, yes, I suppose I could. But without proof of betrayal, this would anger the other guildmasters and then I'd have a war on my hands and, well, just let it lie that I don't want that."

"And what would all this have to do with me?" Ember asked.

"It's all very simple," Bloodscalp said. "Mae'Var got a new right hand man a few months ago. He's a wizard, and a bloody good one from what I hear, but I also hear that he likes his luxuries. It shouldn't be too hard to convince him to betray Mae'Var, for the right sum. I would like you to approach this wizard and find out what his price would be. Don't worry, there'll be money in it for you too."

"Boo wonders why you don't ask the wizard yourself?" Minsc asked.

"Deniability," Yoshimo said. "Am I correct?"

"Yes and no, my freelancing friend," Bloodscalp replied. "I could have asked any mercenary group to do this, but you have an advantage they do not have."

"What advantage might that be?" Anomen asked.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."

#2 Guest_Futurist_*

Posted 19 August 2007 - 09:45 PM

[quote name="Cel]
"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."
[/quote]

How lucky Ember is to not have to run willy nilly all over yon bloody district!



[quote]
Aegisfield muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'adventurers'. "I've always known Rejiek Hidesman to be a reasonable man, if a bit gruff," he said. "However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."


"A wise decision," Yoshimo said.
[/quote]

Wise indeed! No dead Aegisfield... It is hard to type on laptops... :twisted:


[quote]
The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.
[/quote]

I wager the smells bring down property values!

[quote]
As gently as possible, Ember wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the poisoned dagger and pulled it out of Aegisfield's chest. It came loose easily enough, but was followed by a small gush of blackened blood. Quickly, Ember placed a palm over the wound and forced her Bhaalspawn gift first to heal it, then to clear the poison. The double effort left her a little lightheaded, but she was rewarded with a few groans from the injured man. She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.
[/quote]

Nice!


[quote]
"Gone," Yoshimo said, pointing under the bridge. "He and an accomplice escaped in a small boat while we were distracted by their friends here."
[/quote]

And they were spared a long fight!!

[quote]
Several hides of pale, thin leather hung on racks in one corner of the room, beside a workbench where the tanner had been assembling a tunic. It was a perfect piece of work, and almost completed; the stitches were so fine that they were almost invisible.

"My lady, is that-?" Anomen asked.

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."
[/quote]

Nasty indeed...

[quote]
"Renal's waiting for ye inside," Brus said. "Jus' follow me!" He flung the front door open and led them inside to the parlor where Bayle had offered them assistance for twenty thousand. A different man awaited them in the room; he looked as stern as Bayle looked jolly, and wore only black, from his boots to his leather armour to his cloak. The only colour on the man was the blood-red lining of his hood, which was down around his shoulders. His eyes followed Ember as she entered the room, making her feel a bit ill at ease. She glared at him, and his face wrinkled into a small smile.
[/quote]

And now for the shadow thieves quest, nice setting up the meeting with Renal like that.

[quote]
"What advantage might that be?" Anomen asked.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."[/quote]

And we have the return of Edwin, nice twist on the quest!

#3 Guest_Ananke_*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 01:11 PM

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."

I love Rose's bit of game dialogue. "Hey, you're paying for my time! I'll smell for you anything you want!" or something like this...

...but, as usual, I love a smart guard. Doubly so, for taking Ember with him. Because he's smart and alive.

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.

Oh, those pansy nature types... Not everything can smell of daisies and manure, y'know... :)

"You can't interrupt me like this," the tanner muttered. "My work must go on. My craft is all important. Nothing left to work on. No, only the ultimate materials."

Oh, dear. You've fleshed out a minor scene so that it really reads like a police-meeting-dangerous-suspect scene! It's... well, vivid, and plays out in my mind like a scene - well, not from reality, perhaps. But a cop show, certainly. :D

Except that Athkatla isn't yet up to the 'police go in pairs' system, so...

"I'll handle it," Ember said. "Go get that bastard." Minsc and Yoshimo went inside immediately, and the cleric hesitated only for a moment before following them.

...it's good that Mr. Officer there has a temporary Bhaalspawn partner!

(And we're spared a fight.)

She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.

I'm not sure if 'regular' here is necessary. It feels slightly... too meta? Like a comment from the off-world narrator?

Drawing a deep breath, the lieutenant got to his feet. "It appears so," he said, and coughed again. "Yes, I'll be fine. Let us go."

Again a nitpick, I'm afraid, and probably something I'm guilty of far too often: so, he drew a deep breath while he was getting to his feet? Can't quite picture it.

Or did you mean that he first drew a deep breath, and then got to his feet? :)

"He was a wizard," Anomen said. "He attempted to cast horror upon us before they fled, but fortunately I was prepared to counter the spell's effects."

:lol: :D

"He was a tall, slender man in his fourties, with sallow skin, greying hair, and no beard," Yoshimo added.

"A description which could fit any number of wizards," Aegisfield said wearily. "All I can do now is make sure that he and the tanner will be apprehended the moment they return to the city."


:ponders a few moments the difficult life of a pseudo-mediaeval city guard:

Ryan Trawl: If it is permittable, from a church person to a lay man... I would advise acquiring a drawing of the suspect's face.

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."

This is the second time you referred to Ember's Bhaalspawn-ness in this chapter... After the previous chapter's dream and apprehension, I wonder how constant a fixture it will be from now on... how often will you force her to think of it.

"Those evil men must be stopped, or all who have skins will sleep in fear!" Minsc complained as the small group headed to Gaelan Bayle's house that evening.

:)

"It's a pity we couldn't have finished it here, though," Ember said, absentmindedly jiggling her coin purse. It was heavier than it had been for a very long time; the lieutenant had rewarded them with gems worth a few hundred gold. It had been a set sum, meant as a reward for assistance in identifying the murderer, not for catching him, but she still felt like they'd been paid in full for a job half done. We didn't catch him, and we don't know why he did those things. We don't know why he made that horrible tunic. It could be that the tanner had merely gone mad, but what role did his accomplice play?

Oh? So Ember is now thinking in terms of 'jobs'? And detecting jobs, at that? Following leads, clues, logic, little things that do not fit? I suppose chasing after Sarevok taught her a bit how to do that. :D

Yoshimo grinned. "Do not be worried. You have Yoshimo to watch your back!"

Now, that's just low, Yoshimo. :lol:

"Renal's waiting for ye inside," Brus said. "Jus' follow me!" He flung the front door open and led them inside to the parlor where Bayle had offered them assistance for twenty thousand. A different man awaited them in the room; he looked as stern as Bayle looked jolly, and wore only black, from his boots to his leather armour to his cloak. The only colour on the man was the blood-red lining of his hood, which was down around his shoulders. His eyes followed Ember as she entered the room, making her feel a bit ill at ease. She glared at him, and his face wrinkled into a small smile.

LOL!
Ember: :lol:
Bloodscalp: :P
...so that's why he's called Bloodscalp in your story!

"Your name is known to me, Bloodscalp!" Anomen said. "My lady, this man is a renowned Shadow Thief!"

Aye, m'squire, that he is. This is the kind of people you will have to work with, I'm afraid. :)

"That I may be, young Delryn," Bloodscalp said, looking straight at Anomen, "but at this moment, it should be of no concern to you. Ah, relax, squire! I am not about to ask your lady here to commit any crimes."

Ooh. I love that they already know who Anomen is. I'm curious, though... The game Bayle knows Lehtinan. How do the Shadow Thieves stand on the matter of the little slave revolution Ember instilled?

"My problem is this: one of my guildhouses to the south is run by a rather ambitious fellow named Mae'Var. Good thief, but I never liked him. Now I know why. I've had some hints that he is getting too big for himself. Thinking of taking my place, I suspect, but I've had no real evidence to say that this is so." Bloodscalp paused to sip from a goblet. "Now, you're likely thinking: why not just eliminate him? Yes, yes, I suppose I could. But without proof of betrayal, this would anger the other guildmasters and then I'd have a war on my hands and, well, just let it lie that I don't want that."

Anomen will so not be happy, anyway...

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."

Now, here's one fine loose end, all right! :)

...I'm really looking forward to the meeting between Anomen and Edwin - I mean, (Ember and Minsc) and Edwin, too, but Anomen and Edwin... :twisted:

I think that what I loved in this chapter is... well. It starts with the cops, or a cop, anyway. It ends with thieves, or a thief. It really shows what kind of people Ember must deal with on a daily basis. :)

#4 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:39 PM


"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."


How lucky Ember is to not have to run willy nilly all over yon bloody district!


Yeah, I'm nice like that. I also believe in letting assorted townspeople do some of their own damn work :lol:


The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.


I wager the smells bring down property values!


Yeah. If he didn't have to be near a waterway for leather deliveries, he'd more than likely be in the slums. As it is, he gets to be in the worst part of the district.


As gently as possible, Ember wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the poisoned dagger and pulled it out of Aegisfield's chest. It came loose easily enough, but was followed by a small gush of blackened blood. Quickly, Ember placed a palm over the wound and forced her Bhaalspawn gift first to heal it, then to clear the poison. The double effort left her a little lightheaded, but she was rewarded with a few groans from the injured man. She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.


Nice!


Ember: Thanks, I try.


"Gone," Yoshimo said, pointing under the bridge. "He and an accomplice escaped in a small boat while we were distracted by their friends here."


And they were spared a long fight!!


Or rather, I avoided writing about it :lol:


Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."


Nasty indeed...


It's especially squickworthy that it's so hard to identify the shirt. The first time I found it, my party carried it for a couple days before discovering what it was :twisted:


"Renal's waiting for ye inside," Brus said. "Jus' follow me!" He flung the front door open and led them inside to the parlor where Bayle had offered them assistance for twenty thousand. A different man awaited them in the room; he looked as stern as Bayle looked jolly, and wore only black, from his boots to his leather armour to his cloak. The only colour on the man was the blood-red lining of his hood, which was down around his shoulders. His eyes followed Ember as she entered the room, making her feel a bit ill at ease. She glared at him, and his face wrinkled into a small smile.


And now for the shadow thieves quest, nice setting up the meeting with Renal like that.


It doesn't make sense for the shadow thieves to let a party of assorted non-criminals waltz into their headquarters, after all.

It also doesn't make sense for them to ask said non-criminals to impersonate thieves :lol:


"What advantage might that be?" Anomen asked.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


And we have the return of Edwin, nice twist on the quest!


Well, I doubt Edwin's return was much of a surprise, but suffice to say that this will not be your average Run Errands For Thieves quest :D

#5 Guest_AlphaMonkey_*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:54 PM

"Boo thinks Rampah is a very strange man!" Minsc exclaimed.


Pot, this is Kettle. Why are you calling me black? :lol:

"However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."


To be fair, it's not often you have a detective accompanied by civilians on an investigation.

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.


There's a reason why they usually put those things at the edge of the town. The stink gets pretty bad. I mean, after they're done with the stuff, you end up with like liquefied hair and junk. It's pretty gross. (All this I learned from an episode of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. I LOVE that show. :D )

"You will not stop what is unstoppable!" Quick as lightning, the tanner lunged forward and stabbed Aegisfield in the chest. The lieutenant slumped to the ground, and the tanner started to drag him inside the house.


Enara: (Gotham City Police Department variant) "See, this is why you never approach a suspect without backup close at hand. Especially in Gotham. You go in without a partner, you're asking to get stabbed, shot, blown up, and left in a ditch. I mean, the regular crooks are bad enough, but the folks Major Crimes has to deal with on a regular basis? The Arkham escapees, the metas? Forget it. You're dead without a SWAT QRT backing you up, and even then, it's debatable."

"My lady, is that-?" Anomen asked.

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."


Buffalo Bill: "Are you about a size 14?"

:twisted:

"You'll have to excuse me if I stare, as you're not quite what I was expecting," the man said. "From all I have been told, I was expecting someone... grander."


Falynn: "Yeah, someone who can kill orcs with sparks from her eyes and lightning from her ass." :lol:

"What advantage might that be?" Anomen asked.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Maybe Edwin will get himself killed turning double agent. We can only hope. :lol:

#6 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 10:01 PM

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."

I love Rose's bit of game dialogue. "Hey, you're paying for my time! I'll smell for you anything you want!" or something like this...


Yeah, she's great :D

...but, as usual, I love a smart guard. Doubly so, for taking Ember with him. Because he's smart and alive.


In one playthrough, I'd forgotten that telling him about the tanner gets him killed, found him stuffed up some kind of chimney, and had to reload.

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.

Oh, those pansy nature types... Not everything can smell of daisies and manure, y'know... :P


Manure's more of a farmer type smell, really.

I've had customers at work that have made me gag. Usually, it's because they smell like they've rolled in an ashtray, but sometimes, the smells of someone's fishing boat/farm can be a bit too potent, too.

"You can't interrupt me like this," the tanner muttered. "My work must go on. My craft is all important. Nothing left to work on. No, only the ultimate materials."

Oh, dear. You've fleshed out a minor scene so that it really reads like a police-meeting-dangerous-suspect scene! It's... well, vivid, and plays out in my mind like a scene - well, not from reality, perhaps. But a cop show, certainly. :P

Except that Athkatla isn't yet up to the 'police go in pairs' system, so...


Aegisfield: But we should be!

"I'll handle it," Ember said. "Go get that bastard." Minsc and Yoshimo went inside immediately, and the cleric hesitated only for a moment before following them.

...it's good that Mr. Officer there has a temporary Bhaalspawn partner!

(And we're spared a fight.)


*whistles innocently*

She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.

I'm not sure if 'regular' here is necessary. It feels slightly... too meta? Like a comment from the off-world narrator?


I meant it as a 'not-from-bhaal-powers' healing spell, as opposed to the much faster healing thing she used to initially close the wound.

Drawing a deep breath, the lieutenant got to his feet. "It appears so," he said, and coughed again. "Yes, I'll be fine. Let us go."

Again a nitpick, I'm afraid, and probably something I'm guilty of far too often: so, he drew a deep breath while he was getting to his feet? Can't quite picture it.

Or did you mean that he first drew a deep breath, and then got to his feet? :P


Yes, I'll give you this nit :D

"He was a wizard," Anomen said. "He attempted to cast horror upon us before they fled, but fortunately I was prepared to counter the spell's effects."

:D :)


In the past half year or so, I have come to realize that Remove Fear is a very useful spell (and also one a Helmite could be expected to have memorized at all times) :)

"He was a tall, slender man in his fourties, with sallow skin, greying hair, and no beard," Yoshimo added.

"A description which could fit any number of wizards," Aegisfield said wearily. "All I can do now is make sure that he and the tanner will be apprehended the moment they return to the city."


:ponders a few moments the difficult life of a pseudo-mediaeval city guard:

Ryan Trawl: If it is permittable, from a church person to a lay man... I would advise acquiring a drawing of the suspect's face.


:P

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."

This is the second time you referred to Ember's Bhaalspawn-ness in this chapter... After the previous chapter's dream and apprehension, I wonder how constant a fixture it will be from now on... how often will you force her to think of it.


Good question, and the answer is: I don't really know. It's a more or less constant presence in her mind, though, and it gets louder when she fights and when she sees things pertaining to violence and murder, like that shirt.

"It's a pity we couldn't have finished it here, though," Ember said, absentmindedly jiggling her coin purse. It was heavier than it had been for a very long time; the lieutenant had rewarded them with gems worth a few hundred gold. It had been a set sum, meant as a reward for assistance in identifying the murderer, not for catching him, but she still felt like they'd been paid in full for a job half done. We didn't catch him, and we don't know why he did those things. We don't know why he made that horrible tunic. It could be that the tanner had merely gone mad, but what role did his accomplice play?

Oh? So Ember is now thinking in terms of 'jobs'? And detecting jobs, at that? Following leads, clues, logic, little things that do not fit? I suppose chasing after Sarevok taught her a bit how to do that. :)


I suppose she is, a little. I struggled with this paragraph; I wanted to convey that she felt a bit bad about getting a reward for uncovering information when she feels she should have caught the bad guy to deserve it. And, well, adventuring in these games is all about doing little jobs for money, isn't it? :)

Yoshimo grinned. "Do not be worried. You have Yoshimo to watch your back!"

Now, that's just low, Yoshimo. :lol:


:twisted:

"Renal's waiting for ye inside," Brus said. "Jus' follow me!" He flung the front door open and led them inside to the parlor where Bayle had offered them assistance for twenty thousand. A different man awaited them in the room; he looked as stern as Bayle looked jolly, and wore only black, from his boots to his leather armour to his cloak. The only colour on the man was the blood-red lining of his hood, which was down around his shoulders. His eyes followed Ember as she entered the room, making her feel a bit ill at ease. She glared at him, and his face wrinkled into a small smile.

LOL!
Ember: :D
Bloodscalp: :)
...so that's why he's called Bloodscalp in your story!


Renal: If you must know, the nickname came first, then the accoutrement.

"Your name is known to me, Bloodscalp!" Anomen said. "My lady, this man is a renowned Shadow Thief!"

Aye, m'squire, that he is. This is the kind of people you will have to work with, I'm afraid. :(


Anomen: :x

"That I may be, young Delryn," Bloodscalp said, looking straight at Anomen, "but at this moment, it should be of no concern to you. Ah, relax, squire! I am not about to ask your lady here to commit any crimes."

Ooh. I love that they already know who Anomen is. I'm curious, though... The game Bayle knows Lehtinan. How do the Shadow Thieves stand on the matter of the little slave revolution Ember instilled?


With the way Lehtinan ran his business, I suspect they were just waiting for his downfall.

"My problem is this: one of my guildhouses to the south is run by a rather ambitious fellow named Mae'Var. Good thief, but I never liked him. Now I know why. I've had some hints that he is getting too big for himself. Thinking of taking my place, I suspect, but I've had no real evidence to say that this is so." Bloodscalp paused to sip from a goblet. "Now, you're likely thinking: why not just eliminate him? Yes, yes, I suppose I could. But without proof of betrayal, this would anger the other guildmasters and then I'd have a war on my hands and, well, just let it lie that I don't want that."

Anomen will so not be happy, anyway...


How did you guess that? :)

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."

Now, here's one fine loose end, all right! :D


:lol:

...I'm really looking forward to the meeting between Anomen and Edwin - I mean, (Ember and Minsc) and Edwin, too, but Anomen and Edwin... :lol:


So am I - if I can write it the way I want to, that is :D

I think that what I loved in this chapter is... well. It starts with the cops, or a cop, anyway. It ends with thieves, or a thief. It really shows what kind of people Ember must deal with on a daily basis. :)


Glad you liked it!

#7 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 10:06 PM

"Boo thinks Rampah is a very strange man!" Minsc exclaimed.


Pot, this is Kettle. Why are you calling me black? :D


Minsc: Who is a kettle?

"However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."


To be fair, it's not often you have a detective accompanied by civilians on an investigation.


It's also not often a detective hands his entire investigation over to civilians. Besides, they're not civilians, they're mercenaries.

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.


There's a reason why they usually put those things at the edge of the town. The stink gets pretty bad. I mean, after they're done with the stuff, you end up with like liquefied hair and junk. It's pretty gross. (All this I learned from an episode of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. I LOVE that show. :D )


I haven't seen it, but I have 1. studied chemistry and 2. had a mishap with some raw chicken that accidentally got left for two weeks in a refrigerator that had been turned off :lol:

"You will not stop what is unstoppable!" Quick as lightning, the tanner lunged forward and stabbed Aegisfield in the chest. The lieutenant slumped to the ground, and the tanner started to drag him inside the house.


Enara: (Gotham City Police Department variant) "See, this is why you never approach a suspect without backup close at hand. Especially in Gotham. You go in without a partner, you're asking to get stabbed, shot, blown up, and left in a ditch. I mean, the regular crooks are bad enough, but the folks Major Crimes has to deal with on a regular basis? The Arkham escapees, the metas? Forget it. You're dead without a SWAT QRT backing you up, and even then, it's debatable."


Aegisfield: Where is this Gotham, and are they currently hiring?'

"My lady, is that-?" Anomen asked.

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."


Buffalo Bill: "Are you about a size 14?"

:twisted:


:D

"You'll have to excuse me if I stare, as you're not quite what I was expecting," the man said. "From all I have been told, I was expecting someone... grander."


Falynn: "Yeah, someone who can kill orcs with sparks from her eyes and lightning from her ass." :lol:


Alaeth: That's what the songs say, anyway...

"What advantage might that be?" Anomen asked.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Maybe Edwin will get himself killed turning double agent. We can only hope. :lol:


:P

#8 Guest_CrazeeFfan_*

Posted 21 August 2007 - 01:35 PM

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."


Once again, I admire your efficiency at skipping out annoying errands in quest. I should really take notes - I always end up making little, pointless quests too complicated for my own good.



As gently as possible, Ember wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the poisoned dagger and pulled it out of Aegisfield's chest. It came loose easily enough, but was followed by a small gush of blackened blood. Quickly, Ember placed a palm over the wound and forced her Bhaalspawn gift first to heal it, then to clear the poison. The double effort left her a little lightheaded, but she was rewarded with a few groans from the injured man. She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.


The word regular sounds a bit odd in that sentence. The idea of blackened blood is a rather horrible one; is it because of the poison?


"He was a tall, slender man in his fourties, with sallow skin, greying hair, and no beard," Yoshimo added.


I bet I couldn't remember those details, but Yoshimo really should have given a more precise description. He's got a theif's eye, after all!


Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."


I loved "the gleeful roaring". I thought that was brilliant, and because it was such a small thing, it makes the taint seem more like a constant problem rather than something that only pops up from time-to-time.


Ember took the child's hand and shook it as seriously as she would an Archduke's. "I'm Ember. Pleased to meet you, Brus."


Now, is that because she'd shake everyone's hand like that, or because she holds a deep respect for children. Either way, the sentence shows us her character a little, very subtley. I like that.


The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Dun, dun, dun! And he doesn't even know that Immy is missing yet! Isn't this going to be a heart-warming reunion?

#9 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 21 August 2007 - 03:37 PM

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. And now you bring me this odd piece of tanned hide. Few people would have any use for such things... I will have to go to the tanner's, I believe, and make some inquiries."


Once again, I admire your efficiency at skipping out annoying errands in quest. I should really take notes - I always end up making little, pointless quests too complicated for my own good.


Ember's too busy to run towns for people. She has someone to rescue :D

As gently as possible, Ember wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the poisoned dagger and pulled it out of Aegisfield's chest. It came loose easily enough, but was followed by a small gush of blackened blood. Quickly, Ember placed a palm over the wound and forced her Bhaalspawn gift first to heal it, then to clear the poison. The double effort left her a little lightheaded, but she was rewarded with a few groans from the injured man. She said a regular healing spell over him as he regained consciousness.


The word regular sounds a bit odd in that sentence. The idea of blackened blood is a rather horrible one; is it because of the poison?


Hm, does two people make a consensus? *removes problematic word*

And yes, it's the poison that causes it.


"He was a tall, slender man in his fourties, with sallow skin, greying hair, and no beard," Yoshimo added.


I bet I couldn't remember those details, but Yoshimo really should have given a more precise description. He's got a theif's eye, after all!


In that case, let's say Yoshimo was affected by the Horror spell and only had time to notice superficial details :roll:

Ember nodded. The gleeful roaring in her blood at the sight of the tanner's masterpiece left no room for doubt. "It's made from human skin."


I loved "the gleeful roaring". I thought that was brilliant, and because it was such a small thing, it makes the taint seem more like a constant problem rather than something that only pops up from time-to-time.


Ember: Believe me, it's constant. I just try to forget about it most of the time :)

Ember took the child's hand and shook it as seriously as she would an Archduke's. "I'm Ember. Pleased to meet you, Brus."


Now, is that because she'd shake everyone's hand like that, or because she holds a deep respect for children. Either way, the sentence shows us her character a little, very subtley. I like that.


It's because she's taking the kid seriously on his own terms. And thanks.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Dun, dun, dun! And he doesn't even know that Immy is missing yet! Isn't this going to be a heart-warming reunion?


Oh, yes :oops:

#10 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 23 August 2007 - 05:32 AM

"Ah, it is you," he said as they approached. "I don't suppose you've learned anything from Rampah, have you?"


Yes, how to dance insanely.

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. "


Ah, so he was interrogating her! I initially assumed something else. ;)

Aegisfield muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'adventurers'. "I've always known Rejiek Hidesman to be a reasonable man, if a bit gruff," he said. "However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."


No pickled Aegisfield in a barrel, then.

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.


Must make it really hard for a murderer to hide his tracks – I mean, the stench is probably impossible to get rid of.

"You can't interrupt me like this," the tanner muttered. "My work must go on. My craft is all important. Nothing left to work on. No, only the ultimate materials."


Uh-huh. Riiiiight…

"You will not stop what is unstoppable!" Quick as lightning, the tanner lunged forward and stabbed Aegisfield in the chest. The lieutenant slumped to the ground, and the tanner started to drag him inside the house.


Oops! Maybe he should have worn his armor then.

Minsc, Yoshimo and Anomen were standing on a narrow pier on the other side of the doorway. A dead man and the remains of two ghouls lay at their feet. The tanner was nowhere to be seen.


Always annoyed me that he got away… sure, you could kill him in Trademeet, but that encounter made so little sense that it felt completely unrewarding.

"An excellent find!" Aegisfield said. "I will present this armour and the letters as evidence. With luck, the writings will give us an idea about where they might have gone."


"I... I've found something else," Ember said quietly.


You probably wish you hadn’t.

"'Tis in the hands of the city Guard now," Anomen said. "Aegisfield seems competent enough; I have no doubt that he will bring justice to their black souls."


He got himself stabbed in the chest by a suspect… if that’s competent, I worry about the rest of the Guard. :roll:

"You'll have to excuse me if I stare, as you're not quite what I was expecting," the man said. "From all I have been told, I was expecting someone... grander."


Ember doesn’t quite cut the Sarevok type of intimidating figure. :)

"Your name is known to me, Bloodscalp!" Anomen said. "My lady, this man is a renowned Shadow Thief!"


A Shadow Thief? :oops: Surely not! You think?

"It's all very simple," Bloodscalp said. "Mae'Var got a new right hand man a few months ago. He's a wizard, and a bloody good one from what I hear, but I also hear that he likes his luxuries. It shouldn't be too hard to convince him to betray Mae'Var, for the right sum. I would like you to approach this wizard and find out what his price would be. Don't worry, there'll be money in it for you too."


Edwin! :D Of course he would betray Mae’var, I bet he finds him completely distasteful.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Hurray! Gief Eddie! ;)

#11 Guest_Cel_*

Posted 23 August 2007 - 03:52 PM

"Ah, it is you," he said as they approached. "I don't suppose you've learned anything from Rampah, have you?"


Yes, how to dance insanely.


And make weird throaty howls.

"Strange..." Aegisfield twirled the piece of hide between his fingers. "I have never seen anything like this hide before. Rose," he said, gesturing at the woman, "was close enough to smell the killer. We have just ascertained that he smelled very strongly of oak bark, the main ingredient of tannin. "


Ah, so he was interrogating her! I initially assumed something else. :P


My Aegisfield takes his work seriously, I'll have you know.

Aegisfield muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'adventurers'. "I've always known Rejiek Hidesman to be a reasonable man, if a bit gruff," he said. "However, I suppose there is a chance... very well, you may accompany me, but you must follow my instructions at all times."


No pickled Aegisfield in a barrel, then.


Nope. And no butchered Aegisfield shoved up a chimney flue, either. (That body floating in the barrel is one of the more disturbing things in that room...)

The tanner's workshop was located on a small pier at the southern end of the bridge, some distance from other houses. The reek of tanning chemicals that surrounded the building made it painfully obvious why nothing had been built near it; Ember covered her mouth and nose with her hand as they approached the building, and Minsc complained that the smell was too much for Boo's little nose.


Must make it really hard for a murderer to hide his tracks – I mean, the stench is probably impossible to get rid of.


Apparently, growing up near a tannery used to be a very formative experience.

"You will not stop what is unstoppable!" Quick as lightning, the tanner lunged forward and stabbed Aegisfield in the chest. The lieutenant slumped to the ground, and the tanner started to drag him inside the house.


Oops! Maybe he should have worn his armor then.


:P

Minsc, Yoshimo and Anomen were standing on a narrow pier on the other side of the doorway. A dead man and the remains of two ghouls lay at their feet. The tanner was nowhere to be seen.


Always annoyed me that he got away… sure, you could kill him in Trademeet, but that encounter made so little sense that it felt completely unrewarding.


Yeah. I haven't decided what to do with it yet.

"An excellent find!" Aegisfield said. "I will present this armour and the letters as evidence. With luck, the writings will give us an idea about where they might have gone."

"I... I've found something else," Ember said quietly.


You probably wish you hadn’t.


Ember: Yes :)

Taint: No :oops:

"'Tis in the hands of the city Guard now," Anomen said. "Aegisfield seems competent enough; I have no doubt that he will bring justice to their black souls."


He got himself stabbed in the chest by a suspect… if that’s competent, I worry about the rest of the Guard. ;)


The Guard can't afford platemail (and it'd be hard to investigate stuff clanking around like that). That's my excuse.

"You'll have to excuse me if I stare, as you're not quite what I was expecting," the man said. "From all I have been told, I was expecting someone... grander."


Ember doesn’t quite cut the Sarevok type of intimidating figure. :D


Ember: ;)

"Your name is known to me, Bloodscalp!" Anomen said. "My lady, this man is a renowned Shadow Thief!"


A Shadow Thief? :D Surely not! You think?


Forsooth!

"It's all very simple," Bloodscalp said. "Mae'Var got a new right hand man a few months ago. He's a wizard, and a bloody good one from what I hear, but I also hear that he likes his luxuries. It shouldn't be too hard to convince him to betray Mae'Var, for the right sum. I would like you to approach this wizard and find out what his price would be. Don't worry, there'll be money in it for you too."


Edwin! :D Of course he would betray Mae’var, I bet he finds him completely distasteful.


He'll... something.

The Shadow Thief looked at Ember. "The wizard's name is Edwin Odesseiron."


Hurray! Gief Eddie! :D


I haven't even started writing the chapter yet, you know :roll:




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com