“Let’s see what else we have,” Sarevok said. “Get off the bed for a second.” Once Zaerini and Imoen had landed on the ground, the big man grabbed hold of the remaining bedlinen, mattress and all, and hurled the lot onto the floor. The bed was now fully visible, and its oddities even more obvious than before. It wasn’t just its size, or that it was round. It was that it didn’t really look much like a bed at all, more like a huge, round slab of rock. Maybe Yaga-Shura has a bad back?
Laska: Ugh. A slab of rock for a bed makes for awful sleep, lousy sex and it really makes you notice the crumbs of the cookies you eat in bed.
“It’s not really a bed, is it?” She said, as she thought it over. “Or, I mean, maybe he uses it for a bed, but it’s definitely built to be something else as well.”
“Speaking of which,” Sarevok said, “was it really necessary to steal my own private and may I add completely personal diary as you were ransacking my stronghold back in Baldur’s Gate? That’s low, just so you know it.”
You see?! You see?! Your plot might have worked if you didn't have the need to keep a bloody diary. Ugh, why are villains so emo?
“Remind me never to do that again if I can help it,” Zaerini said once she was able to speak rather than hiss or growl. “I had to prepare all but the last motions of the spell, then hold onto that as I gave into Bhaal and then keep both the spell and the Slayer under control at the same time.” She shuddered. “I nearly lost it.”
Also, your reputation has now arbitrarily dropped 2 points!
Viconia hadn’t much liked this fire giant palace in the first place. It was entirely too warm, the zombies were disgracefully disorganized and the interior decorating left much to be desired, mostly combinations of dull grey rock and molten lava. Would it be too much to hope for that the stronghold belonging to the next deranged Bhaalspawn we go after is pleasantly dark? Maybe a few tasteful magical lights. With a more varied assortment of monsters.
In only BG games had real player housing. Viconia's do wonders with that.
Being separated from the party’s leader was also bothersome. It wasn’t that she didn’t think her own half of the group could get on just fine for a while, they were all reasonably competent in their own ways – if occasionally erratic. But she had promised Zaerini to aid her, and so she should be by the young one’s side above any other. Well. That particular young one. It’s not as if any of them are even remotely close to two hundred yet. She was of course aware that humans counted such things differently, but it still sometimes felt as if she were the lone adult trying to keep a gaggle of toddlers from wandering off and letting themselves get crushed, burned, eaten or electrocuted. This was one of those times.
TnT Viconia: Oh, you have no idea how easy you have it. Hmpf.
“Hmpf, I don’t know what you are so winded for,” Edwin huffed. “Some of us did the heavy lifting around here, you know. And would it be too much to ask for some healing once in a while?”
Sigh – Edwin, always respect your healer. It's a main lesson in mmo gaming.
“Well, yeah. The private moon belonging to a certain stuck up annoying old wizard, sure. That’s part of the reason why he’s so mad with us, even if it was a complete and total accident that time.”
That moon was tiny, actually. More like a small asteroid, really.
“No ripping hearts out of chained prisoners,” Rini firmly stated. “And that’s an order.”
Pffft, no fun allowed....
Viconia got to her feet, trying to get her bearings. The giant’s corpse was gone, completely obliterated, and she had a sneaking suspicion parts of it were now stuck in her hair..
I see your Viconia is now suffering indignities too.
The chest’s lid flew open, and an enormous beast exploded out of it. The creature was very large, certainly much larger than a rothe or the surfacer equivalent of oxen, and much more savage. It burst forth with its massive clawed paws first, followed by the large head and muscular body. Within the shaggy brown fur angry little eyes glared sleepily at the people daring to intrude upon its slumber, and it gave a furious roar.
Uh, I honestly wasn't expecting that.
That was as far as she got before the dead bear’s side started heaving, almost as if the animal was breathing again. Then it split suddenly open in a shower of blood and gore, and something small and furry darted out of it, swift as an arrow. As it dashed towards the open door, Viconia just had time to make out the long ears and fluffy tail of a fleetfooted hare.
Seriously, what the hell just happened?!
The hare, just like the bear, burst apart. This time, what came out of it was a bird, fiery red and gold, with a long and beautiful tail. It soared into the air, circled the room once, and flew towards the exit. That was as far as it got before a stream of arcane missiles struck it clean out of the air and it tumbled to the ground in a shower of feathers and accompanied by a smell reminiscent of roast chicken.
Matrouska animals? Well, at least Yaga-Shura is creative.
They all hurried to do just that, and the world dissolved as a dark tunnel formed around them, sweeping them away. As the darkness of the pocketplane opened before them, Viconia thought she could just make out a bright light and searing heat, as well as hear a loud and growing rumble. Then, Yaga-Shura’s fortress was blissfully left behind them for good, and they were all safe.
At last. Once I heal whatever needs to be healed, I am going to sleep for at least twelve hours. Then she looked down at the miserable state her skin, hair and armour was in. After I have a very, very long bath.
TnT Viconia: Welcome to my life. You do not have my sympathies. You will suffer like I have.