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#209223 Throne Of Cards 69

Posted by Weyoun on 12 November 2018 - 08:57 PM in Serials

“Let’s see what else we have,” Sarevok said. “Get off the bed for a second.” Once Zaerini and Imoen had landed on the ground, the big man grabbed hold of the remaining bedlinen, mattress and all, and hurled the lot onto the floor. The bed was now fully visible, and its oddities even more obvious than before. It wasn’t just its size, or that it was round. It was that it didn’t really look much like a bed at all, more like a huge, round slab of rock. Maybe Yaga-Shura has a bad back?

 

Laska: Ugh. A slab of rock for a bed makes for awful sleep, lousy sex and it really makes you notice the crumbs of the cookies you eat in bed.

 

It’s not really a bed, is it?” She said, as she thought it over. “Or, I mean, maybe he uses it for a bed, but it’s definitely built to be something else as well.”

 

 

“Speaking of which,” Sarevok said, “was it really necessary to steal my own private and may I add completely personal diary as you were ransacking my stronghold back in Baldur’s Gate? That’s low, just so you know it.”

 

You see?! You see?! Your plot might have worked if you didn't have the need to keep a bloody diary. Ugh, why are villains so emo?

 

“Remind me never to do that again if I can help it,” Zaerini said once she was able to speak rather than hiss or growl. “I had to prepare all but the last motions of the spell, then hold onto that as I gave into Bhaal and then keep both the spell and the Slayer under control at the same time.” She shuddered. “I nearly lost it.”

 

Also, your reputation has now arbitrarily dropped 2 points!

 

 

Viconia hadn’t much liked this fire giant palace in the first place. It was entirely too warm, the zombies were disgracefully disorganized and the interior decorating left much to be desired, mostly combinations of dull grey rock and molten lava. Would it be too much to hope for that the stronghold belonging to the next deranged Bhaalspawn we go after is pleasantly dark? Maybe a few tasteful magical lights. With a more varied assortment of monsters.

 

In only BG games had real player housing. Viconia's do wonders with that.

 

Being separated from the party’s leader was also bothersome. It wasn’t that she didn’t think her own half of the group could get on just fine for a while, they were all reasonably competent in their own ways – if occasionally erratic. But she had promised Zaerini to aid her, and so she should be by the young one’s side above any other. Well. That particular young one. It’s not as if any of them are even remotely close to two hundred yet. She was of course aware that humans counted such things differently, but it still sometimes felt as if she were the lone adult trying to keep a gaggle of toddlers from wandering off and letting themselves get crushed, burned, eaten or electrocuted. This was one of those times.

 

TnT Viconia: Oh, you have no idea how easy you have it. Hmpf.

 

 

“Hmpf, I don’t know what you are so winded for,” Edwin huffed. “Some of us did the heavy lifting around here, you know. And would it be too much to ask for some healing once in a while?”

 

Sigh – Edwin, always respect your healer. It's a main lesson in mmo gaming.

 

“Well, yeah. The private moon belonging to a certain stuck up annoying old wizard, sure. That’s part of the reason why he’s so mad with us, even if it was a complete and total accident that time.”

 

That moon was tiny, actually. More like a small asteroid, really.

 

 

“No ripping hearts out of chained prisoners,” Rini firmly stated. “And that’s an order.”

 

Pffft, no fun allowed....

 

 

 

Viconia got to her feet, trying to get her bearings. The giant’s corpse was gone, completely obliterated, and she had a sneaking suspicion parts of it were now stuck in her hair..

 

I see your Viconia is now suffering indignities too. :P

 

 

 

The chest’s lid flew open, and an enormous beast exploded out of it. The creature was very large, certainly much larger than a rothe or the surfacer equivalent of oxen, and much more savage. It burst forth with its massive clawed paws first, followed by the large head and muscular body. Within the shaggy brown fur angry little eyes glared sleepily at the people daring to intrude upon its slumber, and it gave a furious roar.

 

Uh, I honestly wasn't expecting that.

 

 

That was as far as she got before the dead bear’s side started heaving, almost as if the animal was breathing again. Then it split suddenly open in a shower of blood and gore, and something small and furry darted out of it, swift as an arrow. As it dashed towards the open door, Viconia just had time to make out the long ears and fluffy tail of a fleetfooted hare.

 

Seriously, what the hell just happened?!

 

The hare, just like the bear, burst apart. This time, what came out of it was a bird, fiery red and gold, with a long and beautiful tail. It soared into the air, circled the room once, and flew towards the exit. That was as far as it got before a stream of arcane missiles struck it clean out of the air and it tumbled to the ground in a shower of feathers and accompanied by a smell reminiscent of roast chicken.

 

Matrouska animals? Well, at least Yaga-Shura is creative.

 

 

They all hurried to do just that, and the world dissolved as a dark tunnel formed around them, sweeping them away. As the darkness of the pocketplane opened before them, Viconia thought she could just make out a bright light and searing heat, as well as hear a loud and growing rumble. Then, Yaga-Shura’s fortress was blissfully left behind them for good, and they were all safe.

 

 

 

At last. Once I heal whatever needs to be healed, I am going to sleep for at least twelve hours. Then she looked down at the miserable state her skin, hair and armour was in. After I have a very, very long bath.

 

TnT Viconia: Welcome to my life. You do not have my sympathies. You will suffer like I have.




#209222 Throne Of Cards 68

Posted by Weyoun on 12 November 2018 - 08:24 PM in Serials

“Back in the kitchens. I brought up your potential as the new goddess of Murder.” Sarevok turned his head to look straight at her, his eyes burning into hers. “You didn’t deny such a possibility. So I ask you, little sister. Should we reach the end of the path, the power there for you to grasp, a willing tool to shape the world as you wish – will you seize it?”

 

Laska: Don't do it! Responsiblity is da poop!

 

Two reasons.” Rini paused, trying to arrange her thoughts. It was oddly easy to speak with her brother about this, she found. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it with her other friends. She wasn’t sure it was right to burden them with it for one thing, and also she worried that they’d tell her what she wanted to hear. Sarevok wouldn’t try to shelter her from the truth, and he’d walked the same path she was walking now, for a time. “For one thing, if I don’t claim the power, then who will? Yaga Shura? Some of these other, even worse Bhaalspawn out there? Suppose they break the world because I’m scared?” She swallowed hard. “But there’s another reason too, more personal. More important. If I don’t claim the power, how can I protect Eddie? He’s in danger, the pointy-hatted old bearded Chosen of Mystra is coming for him and will do something horrible to him. If I do become a goddess, I’d be able to keep him safe, wouldn’t I?”

 

You'd think gods can do whatever they want to do, but I guess that;s the irony of being a god in the Realm. So many rules, you might as well stay mortal. There's no real point as being a god in the Realms is literally a zero-sum game.

 

 

Light footfalls padded towards them at that point, and then there was Imoen, practically skidding around the corner with her pink hair dancing around her excited face. “Hey, you two!” She exclaimed. “You’ll never guess what I…why so serious?”

 

What?! Rini! Tell him I’m not a…that I couldn’t…” Imoen’s cheeks were getting as pink as her hair by this point. “Just tell him!”

 

Laska: the last unicorn I came across ran away screaming.

 

Hey you! Let me down!” The shout came from a stranger, a woman chained to the wall right next to the bed. She wasn’t a giant, but a human woman, somewhat worse for wear. She had short, blonde hair, now dirty and matted, and was wearing chainmail armor that tended more towards skimpy than practical. Certainly it left her entire midriff exposed. Large chains were affixed to heavy manacles around her wrists and ankles, as well as thick metal collar, and kept her mostly immobile. She growled in frustration and tried to yank herself forward, but immediately fell back again, crashing into the wall with a heavy ‘thump’.

 

It's Fay Wray! :)

 

 

I…I don’t know. He said it was ‘practice’. I don’t know what he wanted me for. He kept me here, but he never really did anything with me, said I was just a ‘placeholder’.” Varda blinked away angry tears. “I was lucky if he remembered to feed me. And then he up and disappeared, and this place went to the Nine Hells. Are you almost done?”

 

Oh, dear, it's the non-giant giantess thing! Implications unpleasant.

 

Not with my brother and sister, no I won’t!”

 

Laska: I'll take them! …. what? Why are looking at me like that?

 

So, this is clearly an Esoteric Elder Sign,” Edwin said, eyeing the door in front of him. He folded his hands in the wide sleeves of his robes and nodded to himself. “Yes, it is evident. The shape of the magical seal, in the form of a seven-pointed star, is quite typical.”

 

You next mythos card will be a gate burst!

 

Gah, I want to play Arkham again. We have Elder Gods left unkilled!

 

 

I found something,” Viconia said, holding up a paper. “It is a letter to Yaga-Shura, not signed.” She cleared her throat and read out loud. ‘It is time to make your move, the sooner the better. The greater bulk should fall easily into your hands, any that slip through your net will be picked up separately. Do not concern yourself with the others, we all have our parts to play for the great glory of Bhaal and they are where they should be, as must you be. Amkethran you know of already. Sendai and Abazigal consolidate their forces in their strongholds, and once all is ready the Five will sweep across the face of Toril, covering all the land in blood and fire. Enclosed you will find a list containing names of particular interest, those strong in the Blood. Learn it well. You’ve got to catch them all, if you wish to triumph.’

 

You know, a lot more evil plots would succeed if the lackeys won't let the letters just lie about.

 

At this, Minsc bounced to his feet. “Minsc and Boo will lead the charge, our sturdy hides and stalwart souls will keep our good companion safe! Just stay behind us, friends!” Before anybody had the time to protest, he landed a large foot square in the middle of the now unlocked door, kicking it so hard it flew wide open and nearly fell off its hinges. “MINSC AND BOO, GOOOO!”

 

Miinnnnsssccccc Jenkins!




#209213 Throne Of Cards 67

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 08:36 PM in Serials

Unleashing relentless hellfire and various forms of arcane destruction upon the charging zombie giants had provided a brief but entirely too temporary distraction, as far as Edwin was concerned. The moment he’d seen the flaming stairs come crashing down behind his lover he’d felt as if a claw of iron had dug itself deep into his heart, and he didn’t think that feeling would ease until he was reunited with her again. Now that the zombies had been dealt with he had plenty of time to worry. Yes, Insufferable said that she was alive and well, for now, but the point was that she was deprived of his own vast powers of devastation just when she might need them the most.

 

Well, it's not as if the zombie giants are smart enough to actually avoid the fire. Wait, they used to be fire-giants, right? Does fire still work on them?

 


“Aw. All right then. But you’d better be careful.” She shuddered. “They’re dead, and they’re stupid, but if they see you, or hear you, or even smell you…”

 

As usual, zombies are most dangerous in groups. Zombie giants too, I guess, though the size helps.

 


“The bad news is that the zombies are as tightly packed into that yard as a bunch of wizards in a yard sale of ancient artifacts. They are practically standing on top of each other, and we will have to squeeze right through the throng in order to reach our goal, which means that not even an illusion spell will be enough to conceal us from them. They may not be particularly bright or alert, but all it takes is for one of them to spot us and we could end up with our grey matter as the filling in a zombie sandwich. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to avoid that.”

 

Just lovely.

 

Laska: Ugh, I'd have a horrible time there. Zombies are da poop.

 


It was perhaps half an hour later, and Edwin was torn between wishing for death and wondering if perhaps it had already come for him. Certainly he smelled like it. His meticulously maintained robes, his equally well-groomed hair and beard, not to mention his skin, had been liberally smeared with…with THINGS. Things and stuff. His brain tried its best to avoid describing them in any further detail than that. The fact that his companions had suffered through the same fate did little to relieve the agony.

 

Oh, come on, Eddie. Your dignity has been stained many times before in this story. What's one more?

 


“No! Of course not! But you enjoy this sort of…undercover work. You’re good at it.” He left the rest unspoken, but he thought that his father picked up on it anyway. I’m not. Not like you are. Please don’t be disappointed in me.

 

Aye. That's far worse than being covered in rotting flesh and giblets, right?

 


“I will also add my personal touch,” Viconia said as she finished rubbing herself down with a glistening bit of previous giant. “There are too many of them for me to fully control them, but I will surround us with…a general sense of repulsion, if you will.”

 

viconia rubbing herself with gore... why is that so oddly alluring?

 


Boss? Insufferable sounded tense and skittish. Can monkeys become zombies too?

 

Zomkeys? Well, we've had a zom-bear.

 


Wrinkling his nose in disgust, Edwin moved to follow her. While it was always possible that the giants had a rose garden or candy shop waiting in the next room, he somehow suspected that things, as they usually did in places such as this, were about to get worse.

 

Laska: Just when you think you're passed the worst of it, right?




#209212 Throne Of Cards 66

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 08:20 PM in Serials

“She asked, were they hidden, were they safe. Yaga-Shura said, they were. He said, ‘Inside chest with no lock or key, inside the one soaring free. Inside the swift, inside the stout. Heart’s blood the key that will draw them all out.’”

 

Seven adventurers all looked at her expectantly, hoping for more. “That’s it?” Sarevok eventually asked. “Could it possibly get more ridiculously cryptic than that? How about some plain speech?”

 

I'm with Sarevok on this one. What if you need to get to the hearts in case of an emergency!

 


“The next nasty corpse we run into will be yours, big brother, unless you wipe that smirk off your face,” The half-elf snarled. “Now move it!”

 

 

 

“It’s hardly my fault if you have no stomach for explorative anatomy. I’m sure you’ll make a superb goddess of murder even with that little hint of squeamishness.”

 

Laska: He has a point, you know? Plenty of corpses in the adventuring life. Not that I'd want to, you know, dissect them or something.

 

 


“I can hardly blame the infants, now can I? You riled them up, you settle them down.” The priestess sniffed and tossed her white hair back across her shoulder, muttering something in Drow that Rini felt it was probably for the best she didn’t understand.

 

Looks like Viconia has this party under firm control!

 


“I could build one! I told you! And you know how it always goes. We meet somebody, they either turn out to be zombies or try to kill us anyway. Kill them first this time, I say. Then find a boat.”

 

 

“SHUT UP ABOUT THE BOAT!”

 

They're fire-giants! It has to be a lava-boat!

 


The first giant spat on the ground. “That accursed thing? It’s what caused all the trouble.” He wiped a hand across his sweaty brow, and scratched at his beard. “I was in a coma, you know.”

 

He's fire-giant Rick Grimes? :D

 


“Well, we’ll have to try anyway. Thanks for the help. Hope you find a boat, or whatever else you need.”

 

That escalated quickly, to be honest.

 


“Aw, don’t worry, Rini,” Imoen said, cuffing her shoulder. There were some specks of soot on her face, but her grin was as irrepressible as ever. “We’ll be fine, you’ll see. It’ll be our little Bhaalspawn adventure! Just you, me, and Big Brother Grumpyface.”

 

 

 

“Wonderful,” Sarevok grumbled. “Well, perhaps I can instill a certain measure of competence in you both.”

 

Oh, she's doing better than you right now. :)

 


The two remaining siblings looked at each other for a moment. “Well, little sister,” Sarevok eventually said. “Are you prepared to be flashy?”

 

“Always. Ready to stomp on things?”

 

Sarevok smiled. “Zombie stomping sounds like an excellent plan.”

 

Oh dear, this is going to be interesting.




#209211 Throne Of Cards 65

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 08:07 PM in Serials

It’s always the same thing. You’re going on your merry way, trying to infiltrate a cultist hideout, searching out a magical artifact or poking about another dimension for disturbing hints about your divine ancestry, when suddenly a hideous monster appears. You’d almost think they were on some sort of timed rotation.

 

Laska: Don't I know it, sister. Sometimes I think they're just organized that way.

 


“Oh, lots big! Big as me, almost! Lots big fight, lots much loot!”

 

So it's basically just a rat.

 


“What kind of loot could a rat possibly have?” Edwin said with a small sneer. “An antique piece of cheese?”

 

Its tail, of course! Then again, if you kill ten rats, there's probably at least four who don't drop their own tails. :)

 


“Well,” Dekaras mused, peering around a rock towards the kitchen door. “I certainly could. So could Imoen, and if I may venture a guess, possibly one or two others. However, unless you wish to split the party, I’ll have to say absolutely not.”

 

I'm sure 'Koveras the Quiet' will make a stealthy approach....

 

 

A very sickly giant woman raised her head to stare at the adventurers with blank eyes. Her skin was pale, a far cry from its normal ruddy colour, and was hanging in heavy folds like the wax of a melting candle. Her hair was dirty and tangled and big clumps of it seemed to have been torn out, leaving her scalp bare and bleeding. There were dark shadows under her bloodshot eyes, hinting that she’d had very little sleep lately, if any. The smell was definitely coming from her.

 

Oh, is that the giantess Yaga-Shura had chained up in the game... the one Bioware used a human model for because they didn't have a female giant model? Very unpleasant implications there.

 


“There is a foul magic in those hearts,” The giant woman said, shuddering briefly. “At first…at first it seemed all was well. Yaga Shura was invincible, none could stand against him. He hid the hearts with powerful enchantments and illusions, to protect them, and left them behind as he went off with the greater part of the army. But something has gone wrong. The hearts are hidden, sealed away, but their magic…leaks. It pollutes everything. Pollutes us. Changes us. We didn’t understand, and now it’s too late. Yaga Shura cannot die. We can. But…”

 

Oh dear. The hearts are actually siphoning power from the other giants, right?

 

 

 

 


“Not while I’m healing, I can’t!” The priestess snapped, not taking her eyes off the battle. “Don’t interrupt me again or somebody might get killed.”

 

Sounds like Viconia, alright. :)

 


“Indeed, there are many interesting things that can be done with cutlery and condiments. Had it been a live giant I believe I would have favoured that bottle of hot sauce over there.”

 

“Well, let’s hope we won’t have to do it again any time soon.” She grinned. “For one thing, we’re both covered in flour and stinky butter. If there’s a next time, let’s at least try to make it a full cake.”

 

That was some, ahum, flowery proze!

 

I'll, uh, see myself out. :)




#209210 Throne Of Cards 64

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 07:50 PM in Serials

“Fall back!” Rini called out. “There are more of them up there!” And yes, there were more large shapes moving about up there, and plenty of rocks. The bard and her friends made a hurried, and somewhat undignified retreat, running as fast as they dared back the same way they’d come until they reached a shallow valley with a small lake and a few rather pitiful twisted trees. At least the giants didn’t seem inclined to chase after them, which was one small relief. What a day. And to think it all started so well.

 

Giants, eh? Well, that's still better than dragons. Right?

 

 

Sarevok was enjoying his meal as well, and was currently in a contest with Imoen about who was the best at catching candied nuts in their mouths. Imoen seemed to be winning by a narrow margin. The large warrior had mentioned something about wanting to take a walk in the garden as well before they left. It wasn’t exactly what she had expected of her brother, but then again there were many things she still didn’t know about Sarevok, weren’t there? She hoped there would be more peaceful interludes like this so she’d get the chance to learn more.

 

Time for a bit of a rest. Be glad Korgan isn't there, or he'd be sure to criticise the state of the silverware. Shoddy human construction, that.

 


“I’m afraid not. I’m not a full expert on how this teleportation thing works yet, but it seems it won’t let me choose completely, it’ll land me somewhere it thinks I need to be. Not that I feel an urgent need to have rocks dropped on me, but I’m afraid this is it. Think you guys could scout another way through?”

 

Laska: never trusted teleportation. You might end up inside a rock or something. Or you might up somewhere and your clothes and armor somewhere else. And then there was this one incident with the teleporting wizard and a housefly... nasty.

 


“Oh yes, Little Rini! Minsc and Boo can certainly help. If you would like us to, we can Track Giants.”

 

… that doesn't seem very hard, to be honest.

 


“This chicken,” the assassin said, not taking his eyes off the animal, “Is no ordinary chicken. I wouldn’t underestimate it if I were you. It was lurking behind a rock, listening to our conversation. Furthermore, just as I grabbed it, it was starting to cast a spell.”

 

… how would it get the words out. Clucking it?

 


“On the other hand,” Sarevok filled in, “If you do, it’s about suppertime, and a roast chicken would suit me perfectly. It’s up to you, but I think my friend here is feeling a little twitchy. You should probably show yourselves soon if you want this to end somewhere else than a spit.”

 

Laska: Hm, you know, I could do wonderful things with that chicken. Let me put some butter in the pan first.

 


“Oh, well, that’s all right then…come again? Did you say...you’re Bhaalspawn?”

 

Oh, god, please not the chinchilla Bhaalspawn. That was the cringiest bit in the entire series.

 


Imagining Bhaal and a fire giant was bad enough. Now I’ll have mental images of Bhaal and a kobold. Or Bhaal and a chicken. My sire won’t even have to make any effort to give me nightmares anymore. Still, diplomacy, diplomacy.

 

I suppose it's not so bad if Bhaal actually takes on the form of a kobold to do the deed.




#209209 Throne Of Cards 63

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 07:34 PM in Serials

And then there was a hand on her shoulder, long fingers caressing her neck, and an achingly familiar voice whispering into her ear.

 

“Miss me?”

 

Hah, figures he's sneak up on her.

 


“Over a year ago! A year! Closer to two! I…I ought to chain you to my bedpost for safekeeping and never let you out of my sight again! I ought to sear the skin off your back for making me worry so! I ought to…”

 

Laska: *grins* Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

 


“Both?”

 

“Both.” She nodded imperiously. “Now!”

 

“As my lady commands, of course.”

 

No, you don't get to watch and hold up score cards.

 

Laska: Dammit! Why not?!

 


“Pfft,” Elvira scoffed, tightening her grip a little. He made a quiet sound of pleasure at the back of his throat, and so she continued with what she was doing. “As if I wouldn’t. I know you very well after all, my Wolf. After the first shock, of course I noticed it. You look…not quite as young as the day we first met, but still quite a lot younger than when you and Edwin went off on your little trip. You could easily be mistaken for his brother, a few years older than him.”

 

“Fighting monsters and chasing around the world after Bhaalspawn can be extremely invigorating. You should join me, sometime. Just the two of us.”

 

“That sounds disgustingly rugged. But I can think of a few other things that we could get up to. I’ve had nearly two years to make plans, after all.”

 

Laska: Nothing gets people closer than a little monster or bandit hunting. Post-adventure sex is spectacular!

 


“Only nearly two years.”

 

Hey, if you round it down, it's only one year! :)

 

 

 


He shrugged, giving her a slanted smile. “Care about what?”

 

 

 

And with that, the rest of the world was happily dismissed for exactly as long as needed to work their way through the list.

 

Very cute chapter. Laska, put those score-cards down!




#209208 Throne Of Cards 62

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 07:15 PM in Serials

Silly Ulraunt. Lockpicks don’t have to be made from metal. Dragonbone was just as strong as good steel, and she’d taken the opportunity to harvest some from that old black dragon back in Suldanesselar.

 

Good for everyone, except the dragon I guess.

 


Imoen gave a thumb’s up to Minsc, smiling a broad smile as the big man began patiently hauling her up. Unlocked, unloaded, undetected. There was only one tiny regret, really. I really, really wish I could see Ulraunt’s face tomorrow.

 

Hah! But *we* do get to see it! :)

 


“What is it?!” He called out, hurrying to slip his prosthetic nose into place. No matter how skilled the clerics he’d sought out, nobody had been able to fully restore the real thing after that…that disgusting little renegade wizard had mutilated it. It hadn’t been a full two years yet, but it still hurt, and the buildup of crusts in the exposed bits was no picnic either.

 

Hahah, I remember that.

 

Laska: Now *I* wish I was there to see that.

 


The Fool.

 

Hehehehhe.

 


“I can’t help but notice,” Dekaras said, “That the words ‘this time’ seem to be coming up rather often.” He gave Edwin a suspicious look. “You’re not going to give me two heads are you? Or make me explode?”

 

“Nonsense!” Edwin exclaimed with a rather brittle smile as he steered the boy inside the storage room. “I swear, on my life, I will fix this, no matter what it takes.”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of…”

 

Well, you know, it might not be so bad. I mean, if you just wait you grow up again. And you get to live extra years in total.

 


There was a very angry-looking toddler sitting in the middle of the circle, probably no older than two or so. The icy glare he was levelling at a shocked Red Wizard seemed entirely too self-aware for him to be simply upset about the bright light and loud noise as well.

 

Even more extra years now! :)

 


“Over the course of approximately ten seconds.”

 

Oh don't complain, whiner! It was over for you a lot quicker than for the rest of us! :)

 


Dekaras nodded, patting the wizard on the back as he returned the embrace. “Believe me,” He said with great conviction. “It is very good to be back.” Then he looked down at his make-shift blanket loincloth. “Now, does anybody have some spare clothes?”

 

He's back, folks. I do expect appropriate amounts of snark now.




#209207 Throne Of Cards 61

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 07:05 PM in Serials

The Order Of The Black Cloaks,” Edwin sneered,

 

Hey, isn't that from King's Quest? Otherwise, Edwin is being an edgelord right now.

 

 

although the effect was somewhat diminished by the false beard that was obscuring a great deal of his face.

 

Excuse me while I go tell Laska that laughing at Edwin is very rude indeed. :)

 

Now the pile was…moving. It was rising up, unfolding itself and taking on a definite shape. Paper legs, bulky paper torso, tiny paper head, and paper arms ending in sharp paper claws. “A golem?” He asked.

 

A paper-golem is easily countered by the dangerous scissor-golem. Though the scissor-golem is easily defeated by the rock-golem.

 


“Oh, is it really?” Her voice was quite pleasantly accented, he thought. Very exotic. “You must forgive my ignorance, Rasheman has a vast amount of wilderness but very few fortresses of such splendor as this. I’m afraid I’ve got quite turned around on my way to my quarters, with no idea of where I am. It is my first visit, after all.”

 

Laska: Ah, the seduction game. I've tried that myself. Make sure to bend forward and opportune moments!

 


“Brother Koveras,” The other monk proudly stated. He was a giant of a man, tall with broad shoulders, so wide that his robes looked fit to bursting. His shaven head certainly followed all regulations, but there was something about his eyes that was outright unnerving. Now and then they actually seemed to be glowing in the dark.

 

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=H07zYvkNYL8

 


“There could be thieves afoot, I tell you!” Koveras was grabbing Averic by the collar of his robe now, eyes blazing, practically lifting him off his feet. “And you know what thieves do, do you not, insignificant scum…I mean revered Brother.”

 

I can't believe he fell for that shit...

 


“THEY TAKE THINGS THAT BELONG TO OTHER PEOPLE!” Koveras shouted in his face.

 

This is turning out to be a right cringe-a-thon! :)

 

 

 


It was a good thing, Zaerini mused, that she knew the layout of Candlekeep as well as the back of her hand. Otherwise, she’d have had to resort to studying maps of it for hours, possibly stealing the maps first, and while she didn’t doubt that she could have pulled it off that all seemed extremely tedious.

 

You know, Laska wouldn't be able to do this heist. She was basically Candlekeep's carpenter in her younger years and spent most of her time outside or in the workshop making and repairing bookcases.

 


“Um, good.” Imoen tested the knots a final time. It wasn’t so much a single rope as a complicated rope harness fastened around her torso and pelvis, and she thought they seemed just tight enough to hold her firmly without strangling her. Still wish I could have asked Vadrak about the Halfway Horseknot though. That’s one I never got much chance to practice with. Well, she’d just have to hope she’d learned enough. Final exam, Imoen. “Go ahead, Minsc.” The large man nodded, and carefully started lowering her down through the hole in the floor. Final exam. I won’t flunk it.

 

 

Going well so far, but I suspect the cock-up is about to happen...




#209206 Throne Of Cards 60

Posted by Weyoun on 11 November 2018 - 06:38 PM in Serials

It is a very natural thing for the young to want to explore their various gifts and talents before they settle down within a chosen field. Obviously, this should be done within suitable perimeters and given proper guidance. Otherwise, you should take care to carry a big stick.

 

“Mom! I wanna be a social media influencer!” >.<

 

 

It wasn’t meant to do any harm and just as intended it only hit the tree trunk, but unfortunately this led an old bird’s nest to fall on the druid’s head. The young assassin found himself chased off with a stick while the previously serene druid shouted something about wanting to ‘recycle him into mulch’.

 

He was just angry there wasn't an egg in there. :)

 

Teren explained. “They send you out in the wilds to find your own special spirit animal, and then you can summon it to fight for you.”

 

So.... Pokemon?

 

There was no time to stand around, no time to even think about what he was doing. Dekaras suddenly found himself as far up a tree as he could get without even remembering how he’d got there. Squirrel spirit animal after all? He vaguely thought, and then there was no time to think at all. The tree was unfortunately rather small, with thin branches that just barely bore even his slight weight, and a trunk that bent and swayed as the furious creature below him head-butted it. The beast was enormous, taller than a tall man across its broad back, with angry little red eyes and wide, spiky horns. It kicked at the tree now with its strong legs, and he had to cling on for dear life in order not to fall off. Moose. Very big moose. Diremoose. Very big, very angry diremoose. Very angry at me for making scary noises. Maybe this wasn’t one of my better ideas.

 

Run, Dekkie, it's the murder-moose!

 

Another vicious kick hit the side of Anomen’s chest, just as the man slammed his mailed fist straight into the side of the moose’s head. “Brrrayyyrrgh!” The diremoose complained. Its eyes crossed and its knees were shaking as it staggered off along the ravine, having clearly decided this fight simply wasn’t worth it.

 

Well, we've finally found something with a harder head than Anomen.

 

 

Dekaras was no longer listening. He had closes his eyes again, gripping his knees tightly with his arms as he waited. This wasn’t something he could run away from, or fight back against. He didn’t deserve that. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. He waited for the first blow or slap, biting his tongue to keep from crying out. It didn’t come. Why is he making me wait? What is he doing? It was quiet, too quiet. All he could hear was the wind in the treetops, and the cleric’s labored breathing.

 

Imoen: You know, when Laska was your age, she climbed the highest tower of Candlekeep and was too scared to climb down. Gorion had to levitate up there to fetch her.

 

 

 


“Are you now?” Anomen nodded, his smile widening. “Of course, the Watcher doesn’t approve of fibbing, I feel I must point this out. Unless it is for a good cause, perhaps.”

 

Ugh, and he was almost human. :)





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