Jump to content


Gate/Off - 39 - Kill Drizzt


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 02:39 AM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :shock:









I'm still the prettiest!

-Legolas, The V. Secret Diaries



39. Kill Drizzt

Jade’s party did not rise with the dawn; they had run late into the night, fleeing their possessed party member, Xan. And when their paranoia was finally surpassed by fatigue, they camped hidden amongst shrubs and trees. Their dreams were not pleasant, but what the Greycloak had truly done at that late hour surpassed even the worst of their nightmares.

Jade crawled past a snoring Branwen out of their tent, blearily making out the bright crimson blob that she knew to be her party conjurer, Edwin. But as she rubbed and blinked her emerald eyes, she was treated for a shock – some dark-haired woman was crouched over a morning campfire, helping herself to their foodstuffs.

“Thief!” Jade snarled, springing up and closing the yards from her tent to the campfire. The woman started, but before she could move Jade had her arms around the neck from behind, grasping around a necklace to squeeze the throat. “You walked into the wrong campsite, bandit wench!”

“Gag-aieee!” the woman shrieked, “It’s meeeeee! Eddieeee!”

Jade snarled; the woman had stolen Edwin's precious robes and necklace. “Edwin!” she shouted, hoping to wake her fellow. “Everyone, to arms, to arms! Bandit!”

Tents were already rustling, woken by the earlier noises. Branwen had slipped out after Jade, ready to answer the call with her magical weapon of choice called right into her hand. The bawdy snoring from the short pup-tents that Kagain and Montaron fit into were cut short; the halfling scuttled out with a dagger between his teeth, and the dwarf crawled out of his artificial cave with a hatchet in hand. They converged on the screaming woman, ready to pound, hack, and stab her into a nice bacon-breakfast until Xzar, clutching a headless teddy bear, popped out of the tent and screeched, “Waaiiaiaiaiiaiaiait!!! Lord Lollipop commands the good puppets listen!”

The rest turned, Jade lightening her death-grip just enough for the woman to take in a great heaving sigh.

“Where’s Edwin?” Jade demanded, looking into Edwin’s crimson-with-gold-trim tent (she reminded herself to force himself to by something less conspicuous once they finally made it back to a town).

“Right there…” Xzar pointed his decapitated plush toy at the woman. “Here’s right there. Well….most of him is, anyway.”

“She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”

“No, no!!” Xzar bounded over, and waved Jade off.

The woman sat there, grasping her red neck. “You…” she caught her breath, and then hissed, “I am Edwin, you inbred sow! (Really, you’d think these yokels had never heard of Transmutation. It may take a rear coach seat to certain others schools I could name, but ignoring its existence is taking things a touch far. Now, Divination, that the world could do without.)”

Jade frowned. “Is this…some wizard thing?”

“To the point,” the woman with the waterfall of curly midnight hair began, brushing down her robes, and adjusting the purplish amulet in her bosom, “A magical item thing. I have been polymorphed into a female of our species. (Though, technically, I suspect these westerners took a jaunt down a more primordial branch than my esteemed ancestors chose. Ah well, burden though it is, someone's got to be the master race.)” She stood, and curtsied, in what was most certainly Edwin’s adventuring robes. “Allow myself to introduce…Edwina.”

Xzar giggled. “It seems, mommy, our very good young friends – no no we hate the bully we hate him –" he slapped himself on each cheek, then blinked, smiled, and resumed, “Stumbled across a magical girdle in their own travels – mere hours after we first parted ways with them outside Candlekeep on that merry Mirtul day – two, actually, one was a protective belt Imoen has been wearing since, and it is rather fetching I must say, as well as invaluable if Monty ever feels the need to stab her…”

“Aye! She’ll’a deserved it, sugar-hasted li’l pixie!”

Jade snarled at the halfling. “Touch her. Ever. And die.”

“Ah, lighten up missy.”

“…anyway,” Xzar cocked his head, “The other, let’s just call the Gender Bender Girdle, is ‘cursed’, which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s something bad, but…a bit more difficult to remove.”

‘What!?” Jade snapped, and scowled at ‘Edwina’. “You idiot! We always use identification spells! What if it slowly turns you into something like Xan!”

“Garrick claimed he did identify it,” Edwina insisted, studying her fingernails, which hadn’t changed at all. “Apparently, either his village gossip or his street magic was a bit mistaken. (Divination. Unprofessional, unreliable stuff. I make my own point yet again.)”

Montaron snickered. “O’ perhaps he be playin’ a little trick on ye…I would na blame him!” He chuckled until Jade silenced him with a glare.

“’Twas less than wise, but what’s done is done,” Branwen spoke up. “I shall pray for a spell to remove the curse, but my judicious Lord has yet to grant me divine powers of that tier.”

“Gods,” Kagain spat. “No better’n governments.”

“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”

“You…kna- you wench!” Branwen gasped.

“This won’t interfere with your spellcasting?” Jade asked.

Edwina smiled. “The arcane tongues may be spoken at any pitch, and my somatics shall be as graceful as ever. And do not think that because I am female I am now frailer!”

Jade smirked. “You’re scolding quite the wrong lady, lady. But it’s nice to see you thinking like one.” Branwen joined the smirk.

Jade appraised the voluptuous 'woman' skeptically. "How come your robes still fit? Heck, how'd you plunge the neckline so fast?"

"Oh mommy," Xzar giggled, "It's just like the Favorite Color Rule. 'Tis simple a Wizard Thing."

Edwina stroked a lock of her curly hair, and smacked her lips, vaguely annoyed neither Jade nor Branwen carried cosmetics. "Now the Wychalarn truly has nothing on me. It might be magic, but I'm still the prettiest!"

“Alright, alright,” Kagain sighed, and turned to gather his things. “Equal opportunities for all, I’m sure. Let’s get a move on before that demonic elf catches up.”


--


An hour later, the snarls of a dozen gnolls were audible from over a hill. As the party crested it, their ranged weapons were readied, but Jade called a halt. There was a lake before them, but on the near shore was the gang of beasts, among which one very different figure dashed about, evading each swing of a halberd with ease. Branwen noted with a sneer that he resembled Viconia with his chiseled ebony face, flowing white hair, and the nimble movements of a thin body. His cape flashed out as he spun and ducked by the brutes, scimitars flying out from each hand and amputating or gutting with nearly every swipe. With the uncanny senses his people and their surface kin were infamous for, his head jerked at one point, even while one blade parried a halberd and the other impaled a different gnoll, to look up at the party on the hill.

“All I wish is to continue my journey!” he declared, both manner and movements like a stage-fighting bard as he ripped the scimitar out of the gnoll to plant it in the one he had parried with, then spun the parrying scimitar about over his head to rip out the throat of a third gnoll before it ran him through. “Friends await, while I must suffer this tiresome dance? Does the mere mention of Drizzt attract your ilk?” He spun away again, slicing out the leg of one gnoll while blocking overhead the halberd of another, then yanking out the severing scimitar to carve an icy arc through the air that sliced clean through the waist of the parried beast.

Jade gaped. “Is that…”

Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”

Montaron rubbed his chin. “What was his name?”

Xzar shrugged. “Drizzt isn’t that famous.”

Jade was still staring. “Wow.”

“Ah, for the love of money,” Kagain shook his helmed head, “Just one more of these self-style mavericks, good enough to be a hero, just roguish enough to be still risqué. Buncha elf-arse hogwash if’n ya ask me. I’ll take a paladin’s preaching over that slicker-n’-though maverick routine any day.”

Jade looked at the dwarf. “But it’s…Drizzt Do’Urden! I used to read about him. He really is one of the most famous adventurers in the Realms, isn’t he?”

“Yeess…” Kagain, Montaron, and Xzar droned.

Edina huffed. “Even I haven’t been altogether spared rumor of his exploits. Though he’s not exactly a ‘hero’ to us.”

Jade smiled. “Well, he is to me.” She nodded, and her party moved forward.

This apparent living legend was by now wiping the blood of the last felled gnoll from his blade. “Hail, friends,” he flashed pearly teeth that gleamed against his dark skin. “So valiant an entrance, but fear not! Few are fast enough even to aid Drizzt, much less oppose him.”

Jade shifted a little, but extended her hand. “Jade.”

“Jade..” Drizzt sheathed the scimitar, and rather than shaking the hand, bent and kissed it. “Pray tell, Jade, what trouble brings such a lovely lass to such barbaric lands?”

“I’m a warrior too!” Jade protested. “Just like you! I-“

She cut off, looking hurt and angry as Drizzt’s intent gaze abruptly left her, passed over Branwen quickly, Montaron, Xzar, and Kagain even more so, but then rested on Edwina, specifically her amulet pendant. “Why...” he flashed the identical grin he had Jade, “…but here a comely nbole maiden in her elegant gilded dress do we have!” He reached out, snatching up Edwina’s hand before she could withdrew it, and planted the requisite kiss. “So far from deserved comforts you have come, the reasons must be dire indeed. But fear not, Drizzt Do’Urden never leaves a princess in peril, and your entourage shall now be graced by his presence…and his blades.”

“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”

Drizzt slid around to catch her. “Perhaps a rest is in order, my lady. Let us tend to your needs, and perhaps become better acquainted before the long journey need resume.”

“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”

Jade was somewhere been jaded, stunned, and livid. A childhood hero…sure, he leveled a dozen gnolls in an eyeblink, but that done he had transformed into an egotistical charlatan who spoke in the third person and stared into the cleavage of polymorphed men, treating a conjuress of some skill like a hapless damsel in distress. Where the heck is the distress? She glanced to Montaron, and gave a subtle nod.

Edwina sighed. “Dear Drizzt, I feel cool water would do me well.”

“But ask, milady, and an epic hero is at your beck and call,” the ranger proclaimed with a practiced drama, made a show of hoisting her up in his arms, and marching to the lakeshore, with no more notice of the rest of the party than he’d made since first doting on Edwina.

The other five waited, silently and patiently, until the drow fellow had carried her out of view around a copse of trees near the water. Then, she nodded, and Montaron scurried off to the back of the copse, magical boots of stealth rendering his footfalls utterly soundless.

He waited a few moments, listening patiently while arming his crossbow, and then crept forward, right under branches and bushes. He was silent and quite unnoticeable, save for one moment when he nearly retched at the sight of Drizzt sashaying his hips and slowly, rhythmically sliding that shimmering shirt of azure mail over his head to reveal a chest that had the muscular but feminine build of many male elf warriors. Montaron shook his head, regretting that he had to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t see Edwina over a rise in the ground, but he could hear her vacuous giggles as the drow male performing his striptease.

Resting his crossbow on the ground, Montaron grasped the handle, sliding a short finger over the trigger, and looked over the bolt. He could feel his Zal’s bracers now doing their work, guiding and steadying his arms.

Wait’ll Alora sees ol’ Montry now, he thought, It be she doin' the striptease then. He squeezed the trigger. The bow twanged while the bolt slid off the shaft and whistled through the clean air.

While gyrating his hips rapidly, Drizzt arched backward at once, blood spraying out of his throat until his hands flew up to grasp it. He fell back over himself. “No!” he gurgled to the sky while Montaron dashed out of hiding, “You are naught but pipsqueak adventurers! I am Drizzt Do’Urden and I am an epic hero who cannot be so easily-“

“…killed?” Montaron finished, firing a bolt almost point-blank into Drizzt’s forehead. The ranger fell from all-fours to complete collapse, mercifully silent and still. “A bolt can kill anyone, earth-pansy.”

The party came around the copse, with varying but extreme emotions at the sight.

Jade was in awe. “I…killed…Drizzt Do’Urden…”

Xzar clapped his hands excitedly. “Drizzt-Deadened! Oh, wonderful work Monty! The Lollipop Lord is truly smiling now!”

Montaron grinned. “We be getting’ a promotion, that be for sure.”

Kagain’s eyes glistened, reflecting the shiny armor. “Mithril…”

Branwen held back, folding her arms, and looking darkly at the carnage. “These actions are not of warrior born.”

Jade looked pleadingly at her friend. “You know I hate this stuff too, but…you saw what he was.”

“Merely a braggart and cad! That hardly makes it right!”

Jade slumped onto the ground by Branwen while the rest of the party descended like vultures on Drizzt’s belongings. “I know, I just...” she put her hands in her face. “It’s like this, Branwen. Like with the First whose platemail you wear, with the witch-hunter at the carnival where I found you, or the double-crosser at the dig site. And there...there was an incident back in Candlekeep, when I was younger. It wasn't my fault, okay?"

"When I get mad at people, I can kill them. I don’t mind, it’s even right, it all makes sense then…and after, really. There’s usually a good reason, like they wanted to kill me or someone else, or arrest me for nothing, or they were bad people. Where my father might say I should talk to them and my brother might do that, but I just think it’s safer and faster to kill them, and it’s their fault. It usually comes to that anyway. You heard his stories and Immy’s.”

“As offensive as his manner was, this one would seem to be a new liberty to your standards.”

“I know…” Jade convulsed once, and then pounded the ground with her fists. “Look, you don’t understand! I worshipped him once! I know it sounds stupid, but I think a lot of girls like me did. He’s really famous in places that are actually civilized! You wouldn’t understand. And now he’s… he’s destroyed it all, it was all a lie. It’s just like all the stuff they tried to cram down my throat in Candlekeep!” she flung her hands out, northward. “Do this, do that, don’t do that, be a good girl, nice manners now, ENOUGH!”

She flew up on her feet, grabbing a rock and throwing it clear across the pond. Then she collapsed, and convulsed, hiding her face in her hands while Branwen rose behind her, and rested firm hands on her shoulders.

“I’m not my father,” Jade sobbed, “And I’m not my brother. I’m me.”

“Ooo-hoo-hoo…” Xzar was rubbing his fingers over Drizzt’s body, and then drew out the Revenant’s dagger. “We were getting low on spell components, weren’t we? A wise choice, mmmm…” he began to cut.

Kagain needed no divination magic to know the weapons and armor of Drizzt’s Do’Urden. “Well, well, well,” he chuckled, “A might fine shot, Monty ol’ pal, and his weapons and armor here’d put us up like kings for good, though I suspect our adventurin’ days aren’t over yet just for sure.”

Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”

Edwina’s eyes widened.

“Yep!” Montaron grinned. “A ‘Defender’, likely to defend Drizzt’s other precious Twinkle. Unfortunately,” he pointed at the handle and made a hexing gesture, “It be one o’ those…morally narrow type pieces.”

"It's lousy," Kagain snorted. "Our craftsmen shouldn’t be our clergymen.”

Edwina sneered. “Disgusting. Downright Rashemani.”

Jade approached them, and looked down for the suit of mithril chainmail, her emerald eyes glistening with the reflection of the sun onto the shiny metal onto her tears. “Wow…this…is amazing. And perfect.” She unfastened her existent suit of enchanted steel chainmail, and after a minute had uncaged her sweaty tunic and shorts. “I’ve never fancied heavier armors than chain, and this...this is Drizzt Do'Urden's mithril chain...”

The rest of the party watched, murmuring in only heightening approval, as she donned the bluish mail, then reached for Icingdeath, and slashed through the air, leaving a frosty arc like of breath on a winter's day. She held the blade out before herself to admire it, and smiled. “I’d always dreamt of specially learning curved blades. But in classical Candlekeep, such learning was not to be found.” She dashed and hacked through the air, strides light and strikes fluid in her shimmering light armor.

“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.

The party startled, but then only gasped in awe when it became clear the tree was falling safely away from them.

#2 Arcalian

Posted 31 October 2003 - 04:23 AM

Now, I like Drizzt, and don't agree with this interpretation of him. But when I saw the title, the first thought through my head was:


Viconia: Drizzt Do'Urden! You and I have unfinished business! :shock: :shock: :shock:

Poor Jade.
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#3 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 04:50 AM

Now, I like Drizzt, and don't agree with this interpretation of him. But when I saw the title, the first thought through my head was:


Ok yeah, I almost put a disclaimer in, I think I will now. I don't know anything about Drizzt, and being as he's a heroic character, I wouldn't think this was accurate. *shrug* It's shameless.

Viconia: Drizzt Do'Urden! You and I have unfinished business! :shock: :shock: :shock:


Har! I wanted to work in a line or two, but nothing came up. Jade's slicing-through-the-tree at the end is a reference to it.

Poor Jade.


:shock:

#4 Laufey

Posted 31 October 2003 - 06:11 AM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :shock:


Hmmmm...should I feel ashamed and chastised for enjoying this immensely? *rubs hands* No, I don't think so. :shock: Anyway, my own Drizzt is also based on the game one, whom I also consider to be a complete twit.


“Gag-aieee!” the woman shrieked, “It’s meeeeee! Eddieeee!”


Jade snarled; the woman had stolen Edwin's precious robes and necklace. “Edwin!” she shouted, hoping to wake her fellow. “Everyone, to arms, to arms! Bandit!”


Oh, it's Edwina! :shock:

Tents were already rustling, woken by the earlier noises. Branwen had slipped out after Jade, ready to answer the call with her magical weapon of choice called right into her hand. The bawdy snoring from the short pup-tents that Kagain and Montaron fit into were cut short; the halfling scuttled out with a dagger between his teeth, and the dwarf crawled out of his artificial cave with a hatchet in hand. They converged on the screaming woman, ready to pound, hack, and stab her into a nice bacon-breakfast until Xzar, clutching a headless teddy bear, popped out of the tent and screeched, “Waaiiaiaiaiiaiaiait!!! Lord Lollipop commands the good puppets listen!”


A headless teddy, that is *so* cute! :shock:


“She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


A little slow in the morning, are you, Jade? :shock:


Jade frowned. “Is this…some wizard thing?”


“To the point,” the woman with the waterfall of curly midnight hair began, brushing down her robes, and adjusting the purplish amulet in her bosom, “A magical item thing. I have been polymorphed into a female of our species. (Though, technically, I suspect these westerners took a jaunt down a more primordial branch than my esteemed ancestors chose. Ah well, burden though it is, someone's got to be the master race.)” She stood, and curtsied, in what was most certainly Edwin’s adventuring robes. “Allow myself to introduce…Edwina.”


Aw, she looks lovely!


“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”


“You…kna- you wench!” Branwen gasped.


“This won’t interfere with your spellcasting?” Jade asked.


Edwina smiled. “The arcane tongues may be spoken at any pitch, and my somatics shall be as graceful as ever. And do not think that because I am female I am now frailer!”


Jade smirked. “You’re scolding quite the wrong lady, lady. But it’s nice to see you thinking like one.” Branwen joined the smirk.



*grin*

"Oh mommy," Xzar giggled, "It's just like the Favorite Color Rule. 'Tis simple a Wizard Thing."


Edwina stroked a lock of her curly hair, and smacked her lips, vaguely annoyed neither Jade nor Branwen carried cosmetics. "Now the Wychalarn truly has nothing on me. It might be magic, but I'm still the prettiest!"


She most certainly is! *kissie smiley*


“All I wish is to continue my journey!” he declared, both manner and movements like a stage-fighting bard as he ripped the scimitar out of the gnoll to plant it in the one he had parried with, then spun the parrying scimitar about over his head to rip out the throat of a third gnoll before it ran him through. “Friends await, while I must suffer this tiresome dance? Does the mere mention of Drizzt attract your ilk?” He spun away again, slicing out the leg of one gnoll while blocking overhead the halberd of another, then yanking out the severing scimitar to carve an icy arc through the air that sliced clean through the waist of the parried beast.


*groan* Do we get the 'I have sparred with demons from the Nine Hells themselves' line too?

Jade gaped. “Is that…”


Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


*snicker* I think they've heard this before.


This apparent living legend was by now wiping the blood of the last felled gnoll from his blade. “Hail, friends,” he flashed pearly teeth that gleamed against his dark skin. “So valiant an entrance, but fear not! Few are fast enough even to aid Drizzt, much less oppose him.”


*double groan*


She cut off, looking hurt and angry as Drizzt’s intent gaze abruptly left her, passed over Branwen quickly, Montaron, Xzar, and Kagain even more so, but then rested on Edwina, specifically her amulet pendant. “Why...” he flashed the identical grin he had Jade, “…but here a comely nbole maiden in her elegant gilded dress do we have!” He reached out, snatching up Edwina’s hand before she could withdrew it, and planted the requisite kiss. “So far from deserved comforts you have come, the reasons must be dire indeed. But fear not, Drizzt Do’Urden never leaves a princess in peril, and your entourage shall now be graced by his presence…and his blades.”


“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


Oh, this is just precious! :shock:

Drizzt slid around to catch her. “Perhaps a rest is in order, my lady. Let us tend to your needs, and perhaps become better acquainted before the long journey need resume.”


“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Yes they do. :shock:



He waited a few moments, listening patiently while arming his crossbow, and then crept forward, right under branches and bushes. He was silent and quite unnoticeable, save for one moment when he nearly retched at the sight of Drizzt sashaying his hips and slowly, rhythmically sliding that shimmering shirt of azure mail over his head to reveal a chest that had the muscular but feminine build of many male elf warriors. Montaron shook his head, regretting that he had to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t see Edwina over a rise in the ground, but he could hear her vacuous giggles as the drow male performing his striptease.


Oh gods...they owe Edwina for this one!


While gyrating his hips rapidly, Drizzt arched backward at once, blood spraying out of his throat until his hands flew up to grasp it. He fell back over himself. “No!” he gurgled to the sky while Montaron dashed out of hiding, “You are naught but pipsqueak adventurers! I am Drizzt Do’Urden and I am an epic hero who cannot be so easily-“


“…killed?” Montaron finished, firing a bolt almost point-blank into Drizzt’s forehead. The ranger fell from all-fours to complete collapse, mercifully silent and still. “A bolt can kill anyone, earth-pansy.”


Yup! :wink:


Kagain needed no divination magic to know the weapons and armor of Drizzt’s Do’Urden. “Well, well, well,” he chuckled, “A might fine shot, Monty ol’ pal, and his weapons and armor here’d put us up like kings for good, though I suspect our adventurin’ days aren’t over yet just for sure.”


Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


I definitely agree about that name.


“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.


The party startled, but then only gasped in awe when it became clear the tree was falling safely away from them.


That's right, Jade, work it off. :shock:
Rogues do it from behind.

#5 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 07:00 AM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :shock:


Hmmmm...should I feel ashamed and chastised for enjoying this immensely? *rubs hands* No, I don't think so. :lol: Anyway, my own Drizzt is also based on the game one, whom I also consider to be a complete twit.


:shock: Yeah, I think I remember...Rust Monster, was it? Heh. Say, that reminds me...Rini & Co. got his equipment, didn't they, but I don't remember anyone wielding it?


“Gag-aieee!” the woman shrieked, “It’s meeeeee! Eddieeee!”



Jade snarled; the woman had stolen Edwin's precious robes and necklace. “Edwin!” she shouted, hoping to wake her fellow. “Everyone, to arms, to arms! Bandit!”


Oh, it's Edwina! ;)


Edwina in BG1!


Tents were already rustling, woken by the earlier noises. Branwen had slipped out after Jade, ready to answer the call with her magical weapon of choice called right into her hand. The bawdy snoring from the short pup-tents that Kagain and Montaron fit into were cut short; the halfling scuttled out with a dagger between his teeth, and the dwarf crawled out of his artificial cave with a hatchet in hand. They converged on the screaming woman, ready to pound, hack, and stab her into a nice bacon-breakfast until Xzar, clutching a headless teddy bear, popped out of the tent and screeched, “Waaiiaiaiaiiaiaiait!!! Lord Lollipop commands the good puppets listen!”


A headless teddy, that is *so* cute! :shock:


It wass a toss-up between that and zombie teddy bear.


“She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


A little slow in the morning, are you, Jade? :shock:


Jade: *yawn* huh?


Jade frowned. “Is this…some wizard thing?”



“To the point,” the woman with the waterfall of curly midnight hair began, brushing down her robes, and adjusting the purplish amulet in her bosom, “A magical item thing. I have been polymorphed into a female of our species. (Though, technically, I suspect these westerners took a jaunt down a more primordial branch than my esteemed ancestors chose. Ah well, burden though it is, someone's got to be the master race.)” She stood, and curtsied, in what was most certainly Edwin’s adventuring robes. “Allow myself to introduce…Edwina.”


Aw, she looks lovely!


:shock:


Jade smirked. “You’re scolding quite the wrong lady, lady. But it’s nice to see you thinking like one.” Branwen joined the smirk.


*grin*


The Gender Balance in the party is now more even :shock:


"Oh mommy," Xzar giggled, "It's just like the Favorite Color Rule. 'Tis simple a Wizard Thing."



Edwina stroked a lock of her curly hair, and smacked her lips, vaguely annoyed neither Jade nor Branwen carried cosmetics. "Now the Wychalarn truly has nothing on me. It might be magic, but I'm still the prettiest!"


She most certainly is! *kissie smiley*


:shock:


“All I wish is to continue my journey!” he declared, both manner and movements like a stage-fighting bard as he ripped the scimitar out of the gnoll to plant it in the one he had parried with, then spun the parrying scimitar about over his head to rip out the throat of a third gnoll before it ran him through. “Friends await, while I must suffer this tiresome dance? Does the mere mention of Drizzt attract your ilk?” He spun away again, slicing out the leg of one gnoll while blocking overhead the halberd of another, then yanking out the severing scimitar to carve an icy arc through the air that sliced clean through the waist of the parried beast.


*groan* Do we get the 'I have sparred with demons from the Nine Hells themselves' line too?


Hmm, I can't believe I missed that one! Especially as, he's clearly lying, devils are from the nine hells and demons from the Abyss. Edwina or X could have soundly pointed this hollow boast to him. Heh heh.


Jade gaped. “Is that…”



Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


*snicker* I think they've heard this before.


X, Monty, Kago: You have noooooo idea.


This apparent living legend was by now wiping the blood of the last felled gnoll from his blade. “Hail, friends,” he flashed pearly teeth that gleamed against his dark skin. “So valiant an entrance, but fear not! Few are fast enough even to aid Drizzt, much less oppose him.”


*double groan*


I apologize, it really is horrid. Like a Shakespeare rip-off rip-off.


“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


Oh, this is just precious! :)


:shock:


Drizzt slid around to catch her. “Perhaps a rest is in order, my lady. Let us tend to your needs, and perhaps become better acquainted before the long journey need resume.”



“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Yes they do. :)


Takin' one for the team.




He waited a few moments, listening patiently while arming his crossbow, and then crept forward, right under branches and bushes. He was silent and quite unnoticeable, save for one moment when he nearly retched at the sight of Drizzt sashaying his hips and slowly, rhythmically sliding that shimmering shirt of azure mail over his head to reveal a chest that had the muscular but feminine build of many male elf warriors. Montaron shook his head, regretting that he had to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t see Edwina over a rise in the ground, but he could hear her vacuous giggles as the drow male performing his striptease.


Oh gods...they owe Edwina for this one!


Oooooh yeah. I felt a true pang of sorrow for her.


While gyrating his hips rapidly, Drizzt arched backward at once, blood spraying out of his throat until his hands flew up to grasp it. He fell back over himself. “No!” he gurgled to the sky while Montaron dashed out of hiding, “You are naught but pipsqueak adventurers! I am Drizzt Do’Urden and I am an epic hero who cannot be so easily-“



“…killed?” Montaron finished, firing a bolt almost point-blank into Drizzt’s forehead. The ranger fell from all-fours to complete collapse, mercifully silent and still. “A bolt can kill anyone, earth-pansy.”


Yup! :)


I could have sworn that the end of FotR or beginning of TT (the books) had a great line, re: Boromir's death, about "Even the bravest warrior may be slain by a single arrow." I scoured the Breaking of the Fellowship (which doesn't have his death yet anyway, the movie moved it into FotR) and the Departure of Boromir, and couldn't find it. Alas, alas...


Kagain needed no divination magic to know the weapons and armor of Drizzt’s Do’Urden. “Well, well, well,” he chuckled, “A might fine shot, Monty ol’ pal, and his weapons and armor here’d put us up like kings for good, though I suspect our adventurin’ days aren’t over yet just for sure.”



Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


I definitely agree about that name.


Oh, yeah! I can't believe it. TWINKLE!?! That's like....I don't know....Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, What a Dumb-Arse Scimitar


“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.



The party startled, but then only gasped in awe when it became clear the tree was falling safely away from them.


That's right, Jade, work it off. :wink:


Tapping her inner 'The Bride'. (Kill Bill)

#6 Guest_argan_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 10:31 AM

Good chapter...still like Drizzt in the books, though.

#7 Laufey

Posted 31 October 2003 - 12:33 PM


Hmmmm...should I feel ashamed and chastised for enjoying this immensely? *rubs hands* No, I don't think so. :shock: Anyway, my own Drizzt is also based on the game one, whom I also consider to be a complete twit.


:shock: Yeah, I think I remember...Rust Monster, was it? Heh. Say, that reminds me...Rini & Co. got his equipment, didn't they, but I don't remember anyone wielding it?


*trying to think back that far* I seem to remember that I had Rini and Imoen use the swords, but I don't think I made particular mention of them afterwards. Am afraid I can't remember what I did with the armor.
Rogues do it from behind.

#8 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 12:41 PM

Good chapter...still like Drizzt in the books, though.


Couldn't give my opinion, but I'm sure (and I hope!) he's better than BG1. And thanks.

#9 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 12:43 PM



Hmmmm...should I feel ashamed and chastised for enjoying this immensely? *rubs hands* No, I don't think so. :mrgreen: Anyway, my own Drizzt is also based on the game one, whom I also consider to be a complete twit.



:) Yeah, I think I remember...Rust Monster, was it? Heh. Say, that reminds me...Rini & Co. got his equipment, didn't they, but I don't remember anyone wielding it?


*trying to think back that far* I seem to remember that I had Rini and Imoen use the swords, but I don't think I made particular mention of them afterwards. Am afraid I can't remember what I did with the armor.


Oh ok. I thought Rini used Varscona through the whole game, but I can't really remember. And yeah, armor matters even less. I keep a little 'gear list' for this story (like Monty's stealth boots and bracers, etc.) but it's rarely worth mentioning anything except the more special melee weapons like Varscona and Spiderbane.

#10 Guest_TheBeastlordJohnny_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 01:18 PM

MISE!

Well, it's about time someone did!

Kandron: "No wonder he drags that panther around with him, it's the only pussy he'll ever have."

Heh.

Liked this.

#11 Guest_Helseth_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 07:55 PM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :mrgreen:


Actually, Drizzt in books is almost the opposite, I think. Angsty and reflexing and wishy-washy to extreme. He does well to fight evil races, but then it comes to humans or elves... oh boy... He just cannot make himself to kill his attacker and would-be rapist (not of Drizzt, mercifully). And that is the same Drizzt who in the same book earlier gutted orcs by the dozen. At least such he was in the (chronologically) first three books.

In-game cocky and arrogant Drizzt seems refreshing, in comparison. "I fought demons in Hell without raising a sweat..." :) Maybe the reason I feel this way is because I've read the books after playing BG1.

:mrgreen: That darn drow always gets me ranting...

“Right there…” Xzar pointed his decapitated plush toy at the woman. “Here’s right there. Well….most of him is, anyway.”

She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


LOL! "Who's eaten our Thayvian and ate all of him?"

Jade frowned. “Is this…some wizard thing?”


:lol: He could say just that and leave it there. But Edwin just cannot resist a lecture ;)

Xzar giggled. “It seems, mommy, our very good young friends – no no we hate the bully we hate him –" he slapped himself on each cheek, then blinked, smiled, and resumed,


:wink: He stole our Preciousss! No, wait, that's Monty's uncle... :lol:

‘What!?” Jade snapped, and scowled at ‘Edwina’. “You idiot! We always use identification spells! What if it slowly turns you into something like Xan!”


Nah. In this party we sneer at Divination. :)

“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”


:wink: "His cleavage"? Before you used "her"...

Edwina stroked a lock of her curly hair, and smacked her lips, vaguely annoyed neither Jade nor Branwen carried cosmetics. "Now the Wychalarn truly has nothing on me. It might be magic, but I'm still the prettiest!"


LOL! And Jade still not kensai, dammit!

“All I wish is to continue my journey!” he declared, both manner and movements like a stage-fighting bard as he ripped the scimitar out of the gnoll to plant it in the one he had parried with, then spun the parrying scimitar about over his head to rip out the throat of a third gnoll before it ran him through. “Friends await, while I must suffer this tiresome dance? Does the mere mention of Drizzt attract your ilk?” He spun away again, slicing out the leg of one gnoll while blocking overhead the halberd of another, then yanking out the severing scimitar to carve an icy arc through the air that sliced clean through the waist of the parried beast.


:) Yep, that's him. Lovely description. That wonderful arrogance :)

Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


:lol: I was afraid they would go "I could beat Drizzt with both my hands tied behind my back".

Montaron rubbed his chin. “What was his name?”

Xzar shrugged. “Drizzt isn’t that famous.”


Heh. In TOB where's his brooch.

“Ah, for the love of money,” Kagain shook his helmed head, “Just one more of these self-style mavericks, good enough to be a hero, just roguish enough to be still risqué. Buncha elf-arse hogwash if’n ya ask me. I’ll take a paladin’s preaching over that slicker-n’-though maverick routine any day.”


Heh, don't knock it. The "bookish" Drizzt is holier-than-paladin even without preaching.

This apparent living legend was by now wiping the blood of the last felled gnoll from his blade. “Hail, friends,” he flashed pearly teeth that gleamed against his dark skin. “So valiant an entrance, but fear not! Few are fast enough even to aid Drizzt, much less oppose him.”


:lol: I hear Minsc in that line...

“Jade..” Drizzt sheathed the scimitar, and rather than shaking the hand, bent and kissed it. “Pray tell, Jade, what trouble brings such a lovely lass to such barbaric lands?”

“I’m a warrior too!” Jade protested. “Just like you! I-“


Well, not exactly. And lovely lass can be a warrior, too :)

“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


I bet she's already planning to play him against Szass Tam ;)

“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Damsel-in-distress Edwina is priceless :)

Resting his crossbow on the ground, Montaron grasped the handle, sliding a short finger over the trigger, and looked over the bolt. He could feel his Zal’s bracers now doing their work, guiding and steadying his arms.


:) Uh-oh... They are planning to kill him...

Wait’ll Alora sees ol’ Montry now, he thought,


8) Hmm... it sounds a bit strange. She'll sees him now in a future?

Jade was in awe. “I…killed…Drizzt Do’Urden…”


:mrgreen: The dark side of reputation. Every aspiring "evilish" band will want to come for him. (Well, probably not right now :D )

Jade looked pleadingly at her friend. “You know I hate this stuff too, but…you saw what he was.”

“Merely a braggart and cad! That hardly makes it right!”


My feelings exactly. Jade is a warrior, the cold-blooded murder seems... well, a bit extreme.

Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


LOL! "Twinkle" isn't such a heroic name...
Oh, I just had a thought. Where was his kitty during all this?

“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.


8) The next step in kensaification? What'll she take off this time? :wink:


Good chapter. Edwina is hilarious; and I've very much liked the description of Jade's disappointment in her childhood hero. (It's a good thing Immy was spared this meeting...) I'm still wondering about the murder, though. Chalk it up to Bhaalish/Melissan influence? :mrgreen: :wink:

#12 Guest_Helseth_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 08:06 PM

I could have sworn that the end of FotR or beginning of TT (the books) had a great line, re: Boromir's death, about "Even the bravest warrior may be slain by a single arrow." I scoured the Breaking of the Fellowship (which doesn't have his death yet anyway, the movie moved it into FotR) and the Departure of Boromir, and couldn't find it. Alas, alas...


:) That line is from "The Return of the King", the first chapter. Pippin says it to Denethor.

#13 Guest_Slide_*

Posted 31 October 2003 - 11:47 PM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :)


Meh! Go with what you know! I dealt with it by avoiding Drizzt entirely in Tide, but mocking is always amusing!

I'm still the prettiest!
-Legolas, The V. Secret Diaries


Love those. CC's work rocks - and not just the VSDs...

39. Kill Drizzt


Hmm. Haven't yet seen film. Must go cinema.

Jade’s party did not rise with the dawn; they had run late into the night, fleeing their possessed party member, Xan. And when their paranoia was finally surpassed by fatigue, they camped hidden amongst shrubs and trees. Their dreams were not pleasant, but what the Greycloak had truly done at that late hour surpassed even the worst of their nightmares.


Yes... I can see that being fairly intensely traumatising.

Jade snarled; the woman had stolen Edwin's precious robes and necklace. “Edwin!” she shouted, hoping to wake her fellow. “Everyone, to arms, to arms! Bandit!”


Someone's not in a mind to listen to reason...

Tents were already rustling, woken by the earlier noises. Branwen had slipped out after Jade, ready to answer the call with her magical weapon of choice called right into her hand. The bawdy snoring from the short pup-tents that Kagain and Montaron fit into were cut short; the halfling scuttled out with a dagger between his teeth, and the dwarf crawled out of his artificial cave with a hatchet in hand. They converged on the screaming woman, ready to pound, hack, and stab her into a nice bacon-breakfast until Xzar, clutching a headless teddy bear, popped out of the tent and screeched, “Waaiiaiaiaiiaiaiait!!! Lord Lollipop commands the good puppets listen!”


Headless teddy bear! I looove that! :mrgreen:

“She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


Alright... so that one made me spit my drink all over the keyboard. BAD Oryx!!

The woman sat there, grasping her red neck. “You…” she caught her breath, and then hissed, “I am Edwin, you inbred sow! (Really, you’d think these yokels had never heard of Transmutation. It may take a rear coach seat to certain others schools I could name, but ignoring its existence is taking things a touch far. Now, Divination, that the world could do without.)”


Heh, like that. It's not often in fics we see specialist mages being very... specialist. Or, in this case, anti-opposition school...

“To the point,” the woman with the waterfall of curly midnight hair began, brushing down her robes, and adjusting the purplish amulet in her bosom, “A magical item thing. I have been polymorphed into a female of our species. (Though, technically, I suspect these westerners took a jaunt down a more primordial branch than my esteemed ancestors chose. Ah well, burden though it is, someone's got to be the master race.)” She stood, and curtsied, in what was most certainly Edwin’s adventuring robes. “Allow myself to introduce…Edwina.”


She seems to be dealing with this quite well...

Xzar giggled. “It seems, mommy, our very good young friends – no no we hate the bully we hate him –" he slapped himself on each cheek, then blinked, smiled, and resumed,


Eeeeshk. Xzar has some - quite deserved - issues here...

“Ah, lighten up missy.”


No, I don't think we will... Monty, I'd give up hopes of Imoen murder...

“Garrick claimed he did identify it,” Edwina insisted, studying her fingernails, which hadn’t changed at all. “Apparently, either his village gossip or his street magic was a bit mistaken. (Divination. Unprofessional, unreliable stuff. I make my own point yet again.)”


LOL! Good. It's true - you don't consider that a bard could get it wrong...

“Gods,” Kagain spat. “No better’n governments.”


Aye, and governments... *goes off in a mumble about Labour...*

“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”


She DOES seem to be taking this awfully well! Especially when insulting those who could get her out of this predicament...

"Oh mommy," Xzar giggled, "It's just like the Favorite Color Rule. 'Tis simple a Wizard Thing."


LOL! I wonder if that works with armour too... :mrgreen:

Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


Well. Do they sound tired of him, or what?

Montaron rubbed his chin. “What was his name?”


Oooh! The dude whose cloak you get in ToB! Pretty damned useless it is too, unless you're a dual-wielding ranger! What, you think Minsc dual-wields?! (but, to be fair, a Harrian with UAI DOES. So I should stop whining)

Jade was still staring. “Wow.”


Oh dear. Hero worship.

“Ah, for the love of money,” Kagain shook his helmed head, “Just one more of these self-style mavericks, good enough to be a hero, just roguish enough to be still risqué. Buncha elf-arse hogwash if’n ya ask me. I’ll take a paladin’s preaching over that slicker-n’-though maverick routine any day.”


Gah. I agree. Mavericks... annoying. You know my thoughts on them. :mrgreen:

“Yeess…” Kagain, Montaron, and Xzar droned.


And that is EXACTLY what makes him annoying!

“Jade..” Drizzt sheathed the scimitar, and rather than shaking the hand, bent and kissed it. “Pray tell, Jade, what trouble brings such a lovely lass to such barbaric lands?”


Oh dear...

She cut off, looking hurt and angry as Drizzt’s intent gaze abruptly left her, passed over Branwen quickly, Montaron, Xzar, and Kagain even more so, but then rested on Edwina, specifically her amulet pendant. “Why...” he flashed the identical grin he had Jade, “…but here a comely nbole maiden in her elegant gilded dress do we have!” He reached out, snatching up Edwina’s hand before she could withdrew it, and planted the requisite kiss. “So far from deserved comforts you have come, the reasons must be dire indeed. But fear not, Drizzt Do’Urden never leaves a princess in peril, and your entourage shall now be graced by his presence…and his blades.”


LOL! Branwen's not having a very good day, is she? (though, I suppose... Edwin's having an even worse one...)

“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


LOL! Great Edwin line!

“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Slide's Jaheira: I agree. Why is it that it's always the same person who has to be humiliated in compromising ways, usually involving silly outfits? Damned scribes...

He waited a few moments, listening patiently while arming his crossbow, and then crept forward, right under branches and bushes. He was silent and quite unnoticeable, save for one moment when he nearly retched at the sight of Drizzt sashaying his hips and slowly, rhythmically sliding that shimmering shirt of azure mail over his head to reveal a chest that had the muscular but feminine build of many male elf warriors. Montaron shook his head, regretting that he had to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t see Edwina over a rise in the ground, but he could hear her vacuous giggles as the drow male performing his striptease.


Giggles? I'm amazed Edwina isn't about to kill herself!! Or Drizzt...

“…killed?” Montaron finished, firing a bolt almost point-blank into Drizzt’s forehead. The ranger fell from all-fours to complete collapse, mercifully silent and still. “A bolt can kill anyone, earth-pansy.”


Indeed! And I think I also remember that LOTR line, Oryx...

Jade was in awe. “I…killed…Drizzt Do’Urden…”


Duuude!

Montaron grinned. “We be getting’ a promotion, that be for sure.”


LOL!

Branwen held back, folding her arms, and looking darkly at the carnage. “These actions are not of warrior born.”


So speaks the conscience of the group...

“I know…” Jade convulsed once, and then pounded the ground with her fists. “Look, you don’t understand! I worshipped him once! I know it sounds stupid, but I think a lot of girls like me did. He’s really famous in places that are actually civilized! You wouldn’t understand. And now he’s… he’s destroyed it all, it was all a lie. It’s just like all the stuff they tried to cram down my throat in Candlekeep!” she flung her hands out, northward. “Do this, do that, don’t do that, be a good girl, nice manners now, ENOUGH!”


Neat. Not humiliation and death for the sake of it. Humiliation and depth to further the cause of the angsty Bhaalspawns!

*Harrian cheers*

“I’m not my father,” Jade sobbed, “And I’m not my brother. I’m me.”


Indeed. Something you're learning pretty well, Jade...

Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


LOL! It IS quite a wussy name...

"It's lousy," Kagain snorted. "Our craftsmen shouldn’t be our clergymen.”


Yes, but then you get things like Soul Reaver... (mmm... Sarevok with Soul Reaver... OR Sarevok with improved Sword of Chaos. Ack. Roleplaying vs. powergaming! Ack! AND I carted both swords through the entire bloody game for him!)

Jade approached them, and looked down for the suit of mithril chainmail, her emerald eyes glistening with the reflection of the sun onto the shiny metal onto her tears. “Wow…this…is amazing. And perfect.” She unfastened her existent suit of enchanted steel chainmail, and after a minute had uncaged her sweaty tunic and shorts. “I’ve never fancied heavier armors than chain, and this...this is Drizzt Do'Urden's mithril chain...”


Dude. And it rocks for fighter/thieves...

“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.


Someone's learning her kensai-ness...

The party startled, but then only gasped in awe when it became clear the tree was falling safely away from them.


LOL!

Great chapter! Made me laugh far too much!

#14 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 01 November 2003 - 03:00 AM

MISE!


Well, it's about time someone did!


:)

I was expecting Adrian to kill Drizzt in BG1, but Arcalian did a very good job of explaining why he didn't. Wisely, they didn't attack such a powerful guy w/o the special sneak oppotunity Monty got here (which was risky...if he'd missed...bad news). Also, the potential of him as an ally (we'll see how that goes in Adrian-SoA I guess.) Rini got Drizzt's loot, involving hilarious trickery but no violence.

Kandron: "No wonder he drags that panther around with him, it's the only pussy he'll ever have."


Oooooooo. *snickers*

Heh.


Liked this.


:mrgreen:

#15 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 01 November 2003 - 03:07 AM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :mrgreen:


Actually, Drizzt in books is almost the opposite, I think. Angsty and reflexing and wishy-washy to extreme. He does well to fight evil races, but then it comes to humans or elves... oh boy... He just cannot make himself to kill his attacker and would-be rapist (not of Drizzt, mercifully). And that is the same Drizzt who in the same book earlier gutted orcs by the dozen. At least such he was in the (chronologically) first three books.


Bleh. Sounds annoying.

In-game cocky and arrogant Drizzt seems refreshing, in comparison. "I fought demons in Hell without raising a sweat..." 8) Maybe the reason I feel this way is because I've read the books after playing BG1.


heehee

;) That darn drow always gets me ranting...


lol

“Right there…” Xzar pointed his decapitated plush toy at the woman. “Here’s right there. Well….most of him is, anyway.”


She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


LOL! "Who's eaten our Thayvian and ate all of him?"


Leave him for us!

Jade frowned. “Is this…some wizard thing?”


:) He could say just that and leave it there. But Edwin just cannot resist a lecture :D


Oh no!

Xzar giggled. “It seems, mommy, our very good young friends – no no we hate the bully we hate him –" he slapped himself on each cheek, then blinked, smiled, and resumed,


:lol: He stole our Preciousss! No, wait, that's Monty's uncle... :)

‘What!?” Jade snapped, and scowled at ‘Edwina’. “You idiot! We always use identification spells! What if it slowly turns you into something like Xan!”


Pretty much

Nah. In this party we sneer at Divination. :)


heh. necessarily evil. (or necessary good, maybe?)

“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”


:lol: "His cleavage"? Before you used "her"...


Oh, thanks.

Edwina stroked a lock of her curly hair, and smacked her lips, vaguely annoyed neither Jade nor Branwen carried cosmetics. "Now the Wychalarn truly has nothing on me. It might be magic, but I'm still the prettiest!"


LOL! And Jade still not kensai, dammit!


Gettin' there

“All I wish is to continue my journey!” he declared, both manner and movements like a stage-fighting bard as he ripped the scimitar out of the gnoll to plant it in the one he had parried with, then spun the parrying scimitar about over his head to rip out the throat of a third gnoll before it ran him through. “Friends await, while I must suffer this tiresome dance? Does the mere mention of Drizzt attract your ilk?” He spun away again, slicing out the leg of one gnoll while blocking overhead the halberd of another, then yanking out the severing scimitar to carve an icy arc through the air that sliced clean through the waist of the parried beast.


8) Yep, that's him. Lovely description. That wonderful arrogance :)


:mrgreen:

Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


:lol: I was afraid they would go "I could beat Drizzt with both my hands tied behind my back".


heehee....kick him!

Montaron rubbed his chin. “What was his name?”


Xzar shrugged. “Drizzt isn’t that famous.”


Heh. In TOB where's his brooch.


“Ah, for the love of money,” Kagain shook his helmed head, “Just one more of these self-style mavericks, good enough to be a hero, just roguish enough to be still risqué. Buncha elf-arse hogwash if’n ya ask me. I’ll take a paladin’s preaching over that slicker-n’-though maverick routine any day.”


Heh, don't knock it. The "bookish" Drizzt is holier-than-paladin even without preaching.


ugh

This apparent living legend was by now wiping the blood of the last felled gnoll from his blade. “Hail, friends,” he flashed pearly teeth that gleamed against his dark skin. “So valiant an entrance, but fear not! Few are fast enough even to aid Drizzt, much less oppose him.”


:lol: I hear Minsc in that line...


Hmmm. Minsc With Ego.

“Jade..” Drizzt sheathed the scimitar, and rather than shaking the hand, bent and kissed it. “Pray tell, Jade, what trouble brings such a lovely lass to such barbaric lands?”


“I’m a warrior too!” Jade protested. “Just like you! I-“


Well, not exactly. And lovely lass can be a warrior, too :)


;)

“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


I bet she's already planning to play him against Szass Tam :wink:


Heh.

“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Damsel-in-distress Edwina is priceless :)


Oh yeah. The irony....she's a MAN, baby, yeah!

Resting his crossbow on the ground, Montaron grasped the handle, sliding a short finger over the trigger, and looked over the bolt. He could feel his Zal’s bracers now doing their work, guiding and steadying his arms.


:) Uh-oh... They are planning to kill him...


Wait’ll Alora sees ol’ Montry now, he thought,


:? Hmm... it sounds a bit strange. She'll sees him now in a future?

Jade was in awe. “I…killed…Drizzt Do’Urden…”


Good point..thanks

:mrgreen: The dark side of reputation. Every aspiring "evilish" band will want to come for him. (Well, probably not right now :wink: )


heh....unless he's reanimated

Jade looked pleadingly at her friend. “You know I hate this stuff too, but…you saw what he was.”


“Merely a braggart and cad! That hardly makes it right!”


My feelings exactly. Jade is a warrior, the cold-blooded murder seems... well, a bit extreme.


Yeah, it is. This is a new low for her, by a long way.

Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


LOL! "Twinkle" isn't such a heroic name...
Oh, I just had a thought. Where was his kitty during all this?


Hmmm. Maybe I should look up his 'official' equipment and give it to the party.

“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.


8) The next step in kensaification? What'll she take off this time? :wink:


LOL...well, she just moved from medium armor (chainmail +1) to light armor (mithril chain); she'll never wear anything heavier than that again. So she's not exactly revealing more, but I image the mithril is much more form-fitting. So rejoice.

Good chapter. Edwina is hilarious; and I've very much liked the description of Jade's disappointment in her childhood hero. (It's a good thing Immy was spared this meeting...) I'm still wondering about the murder, though. Chalk it up to Bhaalish/Melissan influence? :mrgreen: :wink:


Thanks and thanks.

Oddly, I didn't even think of the influence until I'd penned the chapter. I really think Jade's personality alone did it. But...I'm sure the parentage stuff feeds into her bad temper, even at moments her eyes aren't actually flashing yellow.

#16 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 01 November 2003 - 03:08 AM

I could have sworn that the end of FotR or beginning of TT (the books) had a great line, re: Boromir's death, about "Even the bravest warrior may be slain by a single arrow." I scoured the Breaking of the Fellowship (which doesn't have his death yet anyway, the movie moved it into FotR) and the Departure of Boromir, and couldn't find it. Alas, alas...


:) That line is from "The Return of the King", the first chapter. Pippin says it to Denethor.


Thanks! Thanks a lot.

#17 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 01 November 2003 - 03:21 AM

Disklaimer: Don't know anything about Drizzt. I always found his BG1 cameo dialogue outrageously cocky (like Elminster's outside Candlekeep), but here at the Attic I've heard people say this isn't fair to him. Given that he's a widely popular (if also widely disliked) protaganist, and protaganistis don't tend to do certain sorts of things, I bet they're right. In other words, I'm pretty sure Kill Drizzt is a flagrant, shameless mischaracterization. And I hope you enjoy it. :mrgreen:


Meh! Go with what you know! I dealt with it by avoiding Drizzt entirely in Tide, but mocking is always amusing!


Oh yes.


I'm still the prettiest!
-Legolas, The V. Secret Diaries


Love those. CC's work rocks - and not just the VSDs...


Oh, I must check out the rest then.


39. Kill Drizzt


Hmm. Haven't yet seen film. Must go cinema.


It's good. I'm not a real Tarantino fan, but I was entertained.


Jade’s party did not rise with the dawn; they had run late into the night, fleeing their possessed party member, Xan. And when their paranoia was finally surpassed by fatigue, they camped hidden amongst shrubs and trees. Their dreams were not pleasant, but what the Greycloak had truly done at that late hour surpassed even the worst of their nightmares.


Yes... I can see that being fairly intensely traumatising.


It even freaked me out, I think.


Jade snarled; the woman had stolen Edwin's precious robes and necklace. “Edwin!” she shouted, hoping to wake her fellow. “Everyone, to arms, to arms! Bandit!”


Someone's not in a mind to listen to reason...


heh heh....well, the gender-swap totally doesn't occur to her, this is OBVIOUSLY some other person.


Tents were already rustling, woken by the earlier noises. Branwen had slipped out after Jade, ready to answer the call with her magical weapon of choice called right into her hand. The bawdy snoring from the short pup-tents that Kagain and Montaron fit into were cut short; the halfling scuttled out with a dagger between his teeth, and the dwarf crawled out of his artificial cave with a hatchet in hand. They converged on the screaming woman, ready to pound, hack, and stab her into a nice bacon-breakfast until Xzar, clutching a headless teddy bear, popped out of the tent and screeched, “Waaiiaiaiaiiaiaiait!!! Lord Lollipop commands the good puppets listen!”


Headless teddy bear! I looove that! :D


So cute!


“She…” Jade looked in disgust at the woman. “Did you eat him?” she resumed shaking the woman. “DID YOU EAT OUR THAYVIAN??”


Alright... so that one made me spit my drink all over the keyboard. BAD Oryx!!


:)

Always my pleasure, Slide.


The woman sat there, grasping her red neck. “You…” she caught her breath, and then hissed, “I am Edwin, you inbred sow! (Really, you’d think these yokels had never heard of Transmutation. It may take a rear coach seat to certain others schools I could name, but ignoring its existence is taking things a touch far. Now, Divination, that the world could do without.)”


Heh, like that. It's not often in fics we see specialist mages being very... specialist. Or, in this case, anti-opposition school...


Hmmm, true. I still haven't figured out what X could have against illusion though.


“To the point,” the woman with the waterfall of curly midnight hair began, brushing down her robes, and adjusting the purplish amulet in her bosom, “A magical item thing. I have been polymorphed into a female of our species. (Though, technically, I suspect these westerners took a jaunt down a more primordial branch than my esteemed ancestors chose. Ah well, burden though it is, someone's got to be the master race.)” She stood, and curtsied, in what was most certainly Edwin’s adventuring robes. “Allow myself to introduce…Edwina.”


She seems to be dealing with this quite well...


yes, she does, doesn't she?


Xzar giggled. “It seems, mommy, our very good young friends – no no we hate the bully we hate him –" he slapped himself on each cheek, then blinked, smiled, and resumed,


Eeeeshk. Xzar has some - quite deserved - issues here...


Oh yeah. He does.

Actually, I probably should have had the Onyx/Xzar thing come up during the last meeting after the gnoll stronghold.


“Ah, lighten up missy.”


No, I don't think we will... Monty, I'd give up hopes of Imoen murder...


yeah. not healthy. for him, more than Immy


“Garrick claimed he did identify it,” Edwina insisted, studying her fingernails, which hadn’t changed at all. “Apparently, either his village gossip or his street magic was a bit mistaken. (Divination. Unprofessional, unreliable stuff. I make my own point yet again.)”


LOL! Good. It's true - you don't consider that a bard could get it wrong...


Yeah....Oops! Silly Garrick!


“Gods,” Kagain spat. “No better’n governments.”


Aye, and governments... *goes off in a mumble about Labour...*


Heh heh. Arnold Schwarzeneggar is my governor now!


“Thank you,” Edwina glanced at the cleric, while tucking his amulet pendant into his cleavage, and admiring one or the other, “But I suppose there are worse bodies to be trapped within. Yours, for example.”


She DOES seem to be taking this awfully well! Especially when insulting those who could get her out of this predicament...


Yes, she does...


"Oh mommy," Xzar giggled, "It's just like the Favorite Color Rule. 'Tis simple a Wizard Thing."


LOL! I wonder if that works with armour too... ;)


Sadly, no. But it would be sweet.


Xzar, Montaron, and Kagain were all groaning. “Yesssss, that’s Drizzt.” In a dreary schoolboy’s unison, they recited, “Drizzt Do’Urden, the Drow Ranger. Swashbuckling Dual-Wielder and Student of…”


Well. Do they sound tired of him, or what?


heehee


Montaron rubbed his chin. “What was his name?”


Oooh! The dude whose cloak you get in ToB! Pretty damned useless it is too, unless you're a dual-wielding ranger! What, you think Minsc dual-wields?! (but, to be fair, a Harrian with UAI DOES. So I should stop whining)


Monricello, something...I forget....


Jade was still staring. “Wow.”


Oh dear. Hero worship.


:mrgreen:

This chap was meant to be a satire on hero-worship / celebrity-arrogance, at the expense of whatever real Drizzt is.


“Ah, for the love of money,” Kagain shook his helmed head, “Just one more of these self-style mavericks, good enough to be a hero, just roguish enough to be still risqué. Buncha elf-arse hogwash if’n ya ask me. I’ll take a paladin’s preaching over that slicker-n’-though maverick routine any day.”


Gah. I agree. Mavericks... annoying. You know my thoughts on them. ;)


Mmm...and you mine.


“Yeess…” Kagain, Montaron, and Xzar droned.


And that is EXACTLY what makes him annoying!


lol


“Jade..” Drizzt sheathed the scimitar, and rather than shaking the hand, bent and kissed it. “Pray tell, Jade, what trouble brings such a lovely lass to such barbaric lands?”


Oh dear...


I know, I know....I nearly smacked myself for writing that. Ouch.


She cut off, looking hurt and angry as Drizzt’s intent gaze abruptly left her, passed over Branwen quickly, Montaron, Xzar, and Kagain even more so, but then rested on Edwina, specifically her amulet pendant. “Why...” he flashed the identical grin he had Jade, “…but here a comely nbole maiden in her elegant gilded dress do we have!” He reached out, snatching up Edwina’s hand before she could withdrew it, and planted the requisite kiss. “So far from deserved comforts you have come, the reasons must be dire indeed. But fear not, Drizzt Do’Urden never leaves a princess in peril, and your entourage shall now be graced by his presence…and his blades.”


LOL! Branwen's not having a very good day, is she? (though, I suppose... Edwin's having an even worse one...)


lol


“Y-“ Edwina cut off her snarl as Montaron gave him an intricate wink and hand signal from behind the ranger. She smiled, giggled vacuously, and raised her other hand to her beardless, round and feminine face to hide a blush that did not grace it. “Why, I’m honored, noble sir Do’Urden, I…I believe I shall faint. (Actually, I believe I shall vomit. This is one stepping stone to eventual but inevitable Zulkership that I shall expunge from my boundless memory.)”


LOL! Great Edwin line!


*bows*


“Why thank you…” Edwina sighed. “My hero. (They owe me. Immensely. And in blood.)”


Slide's Jaheira: I agree. Why is it that it's always the same person who has to be humiliated in compromising ways, usually involving silly outfits? Damned scribes...


Har! I remember!

Onyx: I didn't mind so much.


He waited a few moments, listening patiently while arming his crossbow, and then crept forward, right under branches and bushes. He was silent and quite unnoticeable, save for one moment when he nearly retched at the sight of Drizzt sashaying his hips and slowly, rhythmically sliding that shimmering shirt of azure mail over his head to reveal a chest that had the muscular but feminine build of many male elf warriors. Montaron shook his head, regretting that he had to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t see Edwina over a rise in the ground, but he could hear her vacuous giggles as the drow male performing his striptease.


Giggles? I'm amazed Edwina isn't about to kill herself!! Or Drizzt...


Monty does it for her :mrgreen:


“…killed?” Montaron finished, firing a bolt almost point-blank into Drizzt’s forehead. The ranger fell from all-fours to complete collapse, mercifully silent and still. “A bolt can kill anyone, earth-pansy.”


Indeed! And I think I also remember that LOTR line, Oryx...


Yeah. Maybe I'll head it on next chapter (but say I meant it for this one)...hm...I'm tempted to reread LotR, and make notes of the many good quotes in there, for general appreciation, and for my header quotes.


Jade was in awe. “I…killed…Drizzt Do’Urden…”


Duuude!


Whoa.


Montaron grinned. “We be getting’ a promotion, that be for sure.”


LOL!



Branwen held back, folding her arms, and looking darkly at the carnage. “These actions are not of warrior born.”


So speaks the conscience of the group...


yup


“I know…” Jade convulsed once, and then pounded the ground with her fists. “Look, you don’t understand! I worshipped him once! I know it sounds stupid, but I think a lot of girls like me did. He’s really famous in places that are actually civilized! You wouldn’t understand. And now he’s… he’s destroyed it all, it was all a lie. It’s just like all the stuff they tried to cram down my throat in Candlekeep!” she flung her hands out, northward. “Do this, do that, don’t do that, be a good girl, nice manners now, ENOUGH!”


Neat. Not humiliation and death for the sake of it. Humiliation and depth to further the cause of the angsty Bhaalspawns!


Oh yeah!

Onyx: Ah, she just wanted his sweet gear...

Jade: Shhhh.....

Onyx: Ok, fine. *brotherly comfort for distressed sis*

*Harrian cheers*



“I’m not my father,” Jade sobbed, “And I’m not my brother. I’m me.”


Indeed. Something you're learning pretty well, Jade...


More right than she knows, what with so many 'fathers' running around


Montarony licked his lips, no less familiar with mind-numbing tales. “Yes, let’s see. Icingdeath,” he pointed for the benefit of the foreigner, Edwina, “A thrice-enchanted Frostbrand scimitar. And Twinkle, yeech, who names their weapon ‘Twinkle’. I be thinkin’ he had such a pet name fer somethin’ else. Anyway, it be a fively-enchanted blade!”


LOL! It IS quite a wussy name...


I can't believe it was ever chosen....Savaltore must be a hippie-child or somtehing


"It's lousy," Kagain snorted. "Our craftsmen shouldn’t be our clergymen.”


Yes, but then you get things like Soul Reaver... (mmm... Sarevok with Soul Reaver... OR Sarevok with improved Sword of Chaos. Ack. Roleplaying vs. powergaming! Ack! AND I carted both swords through the entire bloody game for him!)


Oh, I hear ya, I hear ya.


Jade approached them, and looked down for the suit of mithril chainmail, her emerald eyes glistening with the reflection of the sun onto the shiny metal onto her tears. “Wow…this…is amazing. And perfect.” She unfastened her existent suit of enchanted steel chainmail, and after a minute had uncaged her sweaty tunic and shorts. “I’ve never fancied heavier armors than chain, and this...this is Drizzt Do'Urden's mithril chain...”


Dude. And it rocks for fighter/thieves...


Yep. In Jade's game, I think I have Monty wearing it.


“KAAIIIII!” The tree-trunk before her became Drizzt Do’Urden, and one slash with the scimitar took off his head.


Someone's learning her kensai-ness...


Use the ki, Jade!

She got 1 Kai Shot last dream, this upcoming one she'll get the first +1/+1. Not that that strictly comes out in the writing, but it'll be reflected in her future fighting. (And imposed with her better weapon and improving level, ouchie)


The party startled, but then only gasped in awe when it became clear the tree was falling safely away from them.


LOL!


Great chapter! Made me laugh far too much!


:mrgreen:

#18 Arcalian

Posted 01 November 2003 - 03:43 AM

I was expecting Adrian to kill Drizzt in BG1, but Arcalian did a very good job of explaining why he didn't. Wisely, they didn't attack such a powerful guy w/o the special sneak oppotunity Monty got here (which was risky...if he'd missed...bad news). Also, the potential of him as an ally (we'll see how that goes in Adrian-SoA I guess.) Rini got Drizzt's loot, involving hilarious trickery but no violence.


Drizzt in SOA Adrian will be the same as Drizzt in BG Adrian; that is to say, straightforward. He's there to help fight Bhodi for the Rhynn Lanthorn, full stop. Tho Vickie might flirt with him a bit.

Mind you, the last time i ran thru SOA was the first time I killed Bhodi myself (in battle I mean, not the final staking). 91000 exp. VERY nice.

I only ever killed Drizzt once in BG, and never in SOA. For me it falls under the category of "not worth the bother."

Now Shandalar in TOTSC, on the other hand.... :)
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#19 Guest_Oryx_*

Posted 01 November 2003 - 11:19 AM


I was expecting Adrian to kill Drizzt in BG1, but Arcalian did a very good job of explaining why he didn't. Wisely, they didn't attack such a powerful guy w/o the special sneak oppotunity Monty got here (which was risky...if he'd missed...bad news). Also, the potential of him as an ally (we'll see how that goes in Adrian-SoA I guess.) Rini got Drizzt's loot, involving hilarious trickery but no violence.


Drizzt in SOA Adrian will be the same as Drizzt in BG Adrian; that is to say, straightforward. He's there to help fight Bhodi for the Rhynn Lanthorn, full stop. Tho Vickie might flirt with him a bit.


Sounds logical on all fronts. With the party's power by that point, he's hardly even worth killing.

Mind you, the last time i ran thru SOA was the first time I killed Bhodi myself (in battle I mean, not the final staking). 91000 exp. VERY nice.


:wink: Ain't it?

I only ever killed Drizzt once in BG, and never in SOA. For me it falls under the category of "not worth the bother."


In SoA I certainly agree. But in BG1, his loot is spectacular. (and the 12K XP isn't bad.) The in-game party of Jade (Kagain, Shar-Teel, Viccy, Monty, Ed) unfortunately has no Goody-goody for Defender, but Icingdeath and the mithril are nice toys.

I wish I'd killed him in my original game with Onyx, the rep loss would have been easy to make up with temple donations, and 2 of Onyx/Minsc/Khalid could have used both his swords to spectacular effect.


Now Shandalar in TOTSC, on the other hand.... :wink:


? Is he an official Realms character? Ah, but in any case....worth killing. His Arctic Island quest I love though, 2nd only to Werewolf Island, my favorite bit in BG1 ot ToTSc, maybe the entire trilogy.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com