Jump to content


Sword's Wrath 1 - Subtly Does It


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 25 October 2003 - 11:27 PM

Hello, everyone. after an eternity of lurking, I've finally decided to try my hand at posting a story. Comments, criticisms, and gentle hints about hideous deaths by stabbing all welcome.

This is based around my first ever BG character, Edgar Swordwrath, a LN kensai. It starts off fairly predictably, but I have a few changes in store. Provided I get that far.

Anyway, without further ado, let's begin.

***

Sword’s Wrath

Chapter 1 – Subtly Does It



Light. Flashes of it, brightly coloured. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again, he thought. The pain will return soon.

Sound. Screams of pain, each accompanied by a flash.
As I thought. More suffering, more pain. Why don’t I care any more?

Movement. A shape nearby, running, stumbling. Scrabbling at the door of his cage.
Here he is. Why does he do this? Who was I, that he hates me so much?

A voice. But not the cruel, measured tones of his captor.

“Edgar! Wake up! C’mon, we have to get out of here! Please, wake up!”

I know that voice. It has a name. She has a name. Edgar? No, that’s…my name. Edgar is my name. And she is…

“I-Imoen?” He blinked uncertainly.

“Come on, we have to hurry! Before he gets back…”

Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself.

“Wh-what’s going on?” he managed.

“He messed with your head too, huh? All I know is, we were near Baldur’s Gate and we got jumped. But that doesn’t matter right now! Please, get up!”

Baldur’s Gate? Yes, he felt another memory returning. Acclamation, rewards, victory. Victory over whom? An image formed in his mind unbidden. A man clad in brazen armour, his eyes shining gold as he hefted a darkly glinting sword. Sarevok. Bhaalspawn. His…brother. As memories flooded back, he seemed to hear his brother’s laughter and derision. Can’t even get up now, little brother? Too weak to do anything but be rescued by a girl? You never were deserving of our father’s gift.

As much to spite the voice as anything else, Edgar forced himself to his feet.

“All right, I’m moving…ow!” He winced as pain shot through his body, a kind of gnawing ache that he tried to ignore. “I ache all over, though.”

“D-don’t talk about the pain! I feel it too! It’s…it’s like my bones made a dagger and it won’t go away! It won’t go away!!”

He suddenly realised she was nearly hysterical. Clumsily he attempted to put his arm round her, but she jerked away, fear in her eyes.

“No! I-I mean…let’s just go, okay?”

On his feet at last, he took the few steps out of the cage. Suddenly free, he felt strength and decisiveness return.

“There were others. Minsc, Khalid, Jaheira, Dynaheir. Where are they?”

“So you finally got it together, huh?” sighed Imoen. She pointed towards the far end of the room, where another group of cages lined the wall. “I think some of them are down there. I can’t be sure, though.”

“Then let’s see for ourselves.”

The two of them moved cautiously through the room, averting their eyes from the more grisly remains that inhabited some of the cages. As they approached, a figure Edgar had taken for a dead body stirred and looked in their direction. It jumped to its feet, seemingly urged on by what sounded like a high-pitched squeaking, and grasped the bars of its cage. Edgar ran to the figure. There was no doubt as to who it was – he himself was fairly tall, but this man was head and shoulders above him.

“Rrahhh! Minsc will be free! These bars will not hold my wrath! Butts will be liberally kicked in good measure!”

“Minsc!” Edgar called. “Are you all right?”

The immense ranger continued to strain at the bars. His face, Edgar now saw, was contorted with rage. “I am all right! I am ashamed to be all right! I live, while Dynaheir…Dynaheir…they killed her! I saw! She is dead and I have failed her!”

Imoen gasped. “Minsc, that is so horrible! Oh, I’m so sorry for you!”

“Oh no…” Edgar felt his new façade of strength fading. Dynaheir, for all her faults and archaic language, had been a good friend. But he could not even begin to imagine the effect her death was having on Minsc. To lose your friend, your mentor, your witch and your purpose all in one person… He saw tears in Minsc’s eyes. The ranger seemed to sense that he had noticed.

“I won’t cry! I won’t! Okay, maybe a little, but I will staunch the tears with righteous fury! Lullaby and goodnight, evil! Minsc will make you pay!”

Suddenly worried that Minsc’s ranting might attract guards, Edgar tried to put grief to one side and concentrated on the business in hand – freeing his friend. To his dismay, he found that the door of the cage had been welded shut – a tribute to Minsc’s power, perhaps, but a great obstacle.
“Minsc! Think carefully. Is there a way to open your cage? I can’t do it with my bare hands and there’s no keyhole!”

The berserker looked at him hopefully. “But you will keep trying? A great hero like Edgar will not fail to help his friends in their hour of need!”

“Well, yes, but a great hero still needs a key or switch, and I don’t know where they are!” Edgar snapped back, regretting his temper instantly. Minsc looked stunned for a moment. Then he roared in anger, a terrifying, bestial sound, and wrenched at the bars. There was a screaming sound as metal bent and twisted.

And then there was silence.

“Of course,” Edgar ventured, “while keys and switches are useful, the ability to tear apart a cage with your bare hands is rather more…”

“Impressive?” suggested Imoen, smiling a little for the first time. “That was a neat idea, Edgar, getting Minsc angry enough to break down the door!”

Edgar looked startled. “What? Oh. Yes, well, I thought that might work. These plans just come to me, you know?”

Minsc stepped over the wreckage of the door. “The minds of evil are twisted! They think that those who seek to kick them must first find the key to do so! Rarely do they realise that the boot of goodness needs no key! Good can be sneaky and simply break down a door! Good is subtle like that! Yes, subtle!” A hamster poked its head out of his front pocket. “And Boo agrees!” he added. Despite the horror all around them, Edgar couldn’t help but be comforted by the sight. Minsc and Boo, together as always. The thought briefly occurred to him to ask exactly how Minsc had kept the hamster hidden from their captor, but he decided that there were some things that he really didn’t need to know.

“I hate to interrupt”, came a woman’s voice from nearby, “but could you perhaps perform a similarly ‘subtle’ action over here?”

“Jaheira!” Imoen shouted. “Minsc, help her get free!”

One squeal of tortured metal later, the druid was free. “It is good to see you again”, she managed, clearly drained by her ordeal. Her light-brown hair was plastered to her scalp with dirt and sweat, and several fresh scars marred her unusually pinched face.

“And you, Jaheira.” replied Edgar. He looked around worriedly. There was only one more member to find.

“What of Khalid? Isn’t he here?” He regretted the question instantly. In the relief of being freed, she had been able to put her worries aside, but now they came out.

“I…I do not know where he is. He was taken from his cell some time ago and I have not since him since.” Her face creased with concern. “I…pray that he is still alive. And I hope. Hope is all I have now.”

“There’s a kind of armoury to the west,” volunteered Imoen, breaking the worrying silence. They followed her to a small room, mutely guarded by an immobile golem. Careful to stay out of its reach should it choose to come to life, they took what equipment they could find.

Edgar swore in annoyance. “None of our stuff is here! They must have sold it. Good news for our captor’s purse, bad news for us. Still…” he grinned suddenly, picking up something from a table and tossing it to Jaheira, “…we do have subtlety on our side.”

She caught it one-handed and looked at it with surprise. It was an intricate golden key with the word ‘cells’ inscribed on one end. She smiled slowly and tossed it away. “As you say…subtlety.”

#2 Guest_The Blue Sorceress_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 12:20 AM

Hello, everyone. after an eternity of lurking, I've finally decided to try my hand at posting a story. Comments, criticisms, and gentle hints about hideous deaths by stabbing all welcome.


I'm glad you delurked. :)

This is based around my first ever BG character, Edgar Swordwrath, a LN kensai. It starts off fairly predictably, but I have a few changes in store. Provided I get that far.


Yay! More kensai! We've got to get a club started or something :)

Light. Flashes of it, brightly coloured. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again, he thought. The pain will return soon.


I like how you begin this. It's very dramatic.

Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself.


Nice description of Imoen. I like how you use the way she looks to let us get a peek at what she's like.

“Minsc!” Edgar called. “Are you all right?”


“Of course,” Edgar ventured, “while keys and switches are useful, the ability to tear apart a cage with your bare hands is rather more…”


I like this guy. :)

“Impressive?” suggested Imoen, smiling a little for the first time. “That was a neat idea, Edgar, getting Minsc angry enough to break down the door!”


“I…I do not know where he is. He was taken from his cell some time ago and I have not since him since.” Her face creased with concern. “I…pray that he is still alive. And I hope. Hope is all I have now.”


Edgar swore in annoyance. “None of our stuff is here! They must have sold it. Good news for our captor’s purse, bad news for us. Still…” he grinned suddenly, picking up something from a table and tossing it to Jaheira, “…we do have subtlety on our side.”


:)

She caught it one-handed and looked at it with surprise. It was an intricate golden key with the word ‘cells’ inscribed on one end. She smiled slowly and tossed it away. “As you say…subtlety.”


Lovely first chapter. I look forward to more,
-Blue

#3 Arcalian

Posted 26 October 2003 - 01:06 AM

An LN Kensai you say? Interesting.

Each of us who attempts the Bhaalspawn Epic or any portion of it (I see you skipped on BG1, as many do) always add our on twists. I look forward to yours.
The road to the abyss may be paved with good intentions, but it is those with bad intentions that race down that road as fast as they can.

#4 Guest_Chantrys_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 01:33 AM

Hurray for delurking! And, welcome! :)

Light. Flashes of it, brightly coloured. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again, he thought. The pain will return soon.

Sound. Screams of pain, each accompanied by a flash.
As I thought. More suffering, more pain. Why don’t I care any more?


I like your opening. Nicely dramatic.

Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself.


Very nice description of Imoen.

The two of them moved cautiously through the room, averting their eyes from the more grisly remains that inhabited some of the cages. As they approached, a figure Edgar had taken for a dead body stirred and looked in their direction. It jumped to its feet, seemingly urged on by what sounded like a high-pitched squeaking, and grasped the bars of its cage.


I'm picturing Boo as a drill sergeant now. :)

“Of course,” Edgar ventured, “while keys and switches are useful, the ability to tear apart a cage with your bare hands is rather more…”

“Impressive?” suggested Imoen, smiling a little for the first time. “That was a neat idea, Edgar, getting Minsc angry enough to break down the door!”

Edgar looked startled. “What? Oh. Yes, well, I thought that might work. These plans just come to me, you know?”


LOL!

Despite the horror all around them, Edgar couldn’t help but be comforted by the sight. Minsc and Boo, together as always. The thought briefly occurred to him to ask exactly how Minsc had kept the hamster hidden from their captor, but he decided that there were some things that he really didn’t need to know.


Yes, please don't ask. :)

Edgar swore in annoyance. “None of our stuff is here! They must have sold it. Good news for our captor’s purse, bad news for us. Still…” he grinned suddenly, picking up something from a table and tossing it to Jaheira, “…we do have subtlety on our side.”

She caught it one-handed and looked at it with surprise. It was an intricate golden key with the word ‘cells’ inscribed on one end. She smiled slowly and tossed it away. “As you say…subtlety.”


Hah! And a good end to the chapter. I look forward to seeing what you do with the rest of Chateau Irenicus. :)

#5 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 06:45 AM

Hello, everyone. after an eternity of lurking, I've finally decided to try my hand at posting a story. Comments, criticisms, and gentle hints about hideous deaths by stabbing all welcome.


:) *grabs valium*

Seriously though, nice to see a new poster :P

Light. Flashes of it, brightly coloured. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again, he thought. The pain will return soon.


Sound. Screams of pain, each accompanied by a flash.
As I thought. More suffering, more pain. Why don’t I care any more?


Movement. A shape nearby, running, stumbling. Scrabbling at the door of his cage.
Here he is. Why does he do this? Who was I, that he hates me so much?


Nice opening... I reckon it takes something really original for me *not* to fall asleep while reading Chateaux Irenicus. This looks rather promising. :P

Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself.


Heh, yes. Shows nicely all the ordeal she had gone through. :(

The two of them moved cautiously through the room, averting their eyes from the more grisly remains that inhabited some of the cages. As they approached, a figure Edgar had taken for a dead body stirred and looked in their direction. It jumped to its feet, seemingly urged on by what sounded like a high-pitched squeaking, and grasped the bars of its cage. Edgar ran to the figure. There was no doubt as to who it was – he himself was fairly tall, but this man was head and shoulders above him.


Tall, imposing, bald-headed, makes squeaking noises. Can't mistake him for anyone else.

“Oh no…” Edgar felt his new façade of strength fading. Dynaheir, for all her faults and archaic language, had been a good friend. But he could not even begin to imagine the effect her death was having on Minsc. To lose your friend, your mentor, your witch and your purpose all in one person… He saw tears in Minsc’s eyes. The ranger seemed to sense that he had noticed.


Yeah... I didn't like Dyna much in BG1, but still... *sniff*

“Impressive?” suggested Imoen, smiling a little for the first time. “That was a neat idea, Edgar, getting Minsc angry enough to break down the door!”


Edgar looked startled. “What? Oh. Yes, well, I thought that might work. These plans just come to me, you know?”


You did this familiar scene in a way that seemed very natural, at least to me. Nice.

“I hate to interrupt”, came a woman’s voice from nearby, “but could you perhaps perform a similarly ‘subtle’ action over here?”


Awww. It's her... :D

One squeal of tortured metal later, the druid was free. “It is good to see you again”, she managed, clearly drained by her ordeal. Her light-brown hair was plastered to her scalp with dirt and sweat, and several fresh scars marred her unusually pinched face.


Hmmm... any explanation for why Jaheira has fresh scars? :) :x

“I…I do not know where he is. He was taken from his cell some time ago and I have not since him since.” Her face creased with concern. “I…pray that he is still alive. And I hope. Hope is all I have now.”


Unless you are planning some devious twist to let Khalid live... *grabs a hankie* :)

Edgar swore in annoyance. “None of our stuff is here! They must have sold it. Good news for our captor’s purse, bad news for us. Still…” he grinned suddenly, picking up something from a table and tossing it to Jaheira, “…we do have subtlety on our side.”


She caught it one-handed and looked at it with surprise. It was an intricate golden key with the word ‘cells’ inscribed on one end. She smiled slowly and tossed it away. “As you say…subtlety.”


Oh, well. :)

Looking good so far. My only recomendation would be - unless you plan some cunning twists for the dungeon, do not tarry around there for too long. Summarize the less important parts, expand on the most important ones...

Cheers,
Theo :)

#6 Guest_Yazston_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 10:06 AM

Hello, everyone.


Hello, Edgar! :)

This is based around my first ever BG character, Edgar Swordwrath, a LN kensai. It starts off fairly predictably, but I have a few changes in store. Provided I get that far.


Well, I liked this one... so, I wanna read more!

Light. Flashes of it, brightly coloured. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again, he thought. The pain will return soon.


I liked the beginning very much! :) Nice and dramatic!

Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself.


I liked this describtion. Very... Imoen. :D

Can’t even get up now, little brother? Too weak to do anything but be rescued by a girl? You never were deserving of our father’s gift.


Bah! Sod off, will you?

As much to spite the voice as anything else, Edgar forced himself to his feet.


lol Yep! Brothers...

“D-don’t talk about the pain! I feel it too! It’s…it’s like my bones made a dagger and it won’t go away! It won’t go away!!”


I don't understand this sentence. Do you mean that the bones are as sharp as a dagger? And that they are hurting her? In that case, I would change it somehow... Maybe... well, I can't think of anything. Damn... (Don't worry, though. I'm from Finland, and my english isn't perfect. So, this might just be another mistake by me. :) )

The two of them moved cautiously through the room, averting their eyes from the more grisly remains that inhabited some of the cages.


Ugh.. Irenicus is a sick man. :x

“I won’t cry! I won’t! Okay, maybe a little, but I will staunch the tears with righteous fury! Lullaby and goodnight, evil! Minsc will make you pay!”


Awwww... :P You don't have to be brave! :)

Then he roared in anger, a terrifying, bestial sound, and wrenched at the bars. There was a screaming sound as metal bent and twisted.


Yep, Edgar. You can't do it, but he can! :P

Edgar looked startled. “What? Oh. Yes, well, I thought that might work. These plans just come to me, you know?”


lol Edgar's the smart one, yep!

“And Boo agrees!” he added. Despite the horror all around them, Edgar couldn’t help but be comforted by the sight. Minsc and Boo, together as always.


Ah, I waited when Boo would appear! :D Go Boo!

Her light-brown hair was plastered to her scalp with dirt and sweat, and several fresh scars marred her unusually pinched face.


A quick describtion, yet a very good one! :P

“I…I do not know where he is. He was taken from his cell some time ago and I have not since him since.” Her face creased with concern. “I…pray that he is still alive. And I hope. Hope is all I have now.”


:( Poor Jaheira... There will be a big, bad surprise for her. (If you haven't changed it, that is!)

(A small typo there. I think you should replace the first 'since' with a 'seen'. :) )

She caught it one-handed and looked at it with surprise. It was an intricate golden key with the word ‘cells’ inscribed on one end. She smiled slowly and tossed it away. “As you say…subtlety.”


lol A nice ending! :D



As I said, I liked the chapter. Can't wait for more!

#7 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 10:48 AM

I'm glad you delurked. :)


Yay! More kensai! We've got to get a club started or something :)

There's just something about the coolness of a kensai, I think. Who can resist?

I like how you begin this. It's very dramatic.


Nice description of Imoen. I like how you use the way she looks to let us get a peek at what she's like.


I like this guy. :)

:)

Lovely first chapter. I look forward to more,
-Blue


Thanks! Next one is one the way...

#8 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 10:59 AM

Hurray for delurking! And, welcome! :shock:

I like your opening. Nicely dramatic.

Very nice description of Imoen.

I'm picturing Boo as a drill sergeant now. :roll:


Heh. That's an... interesting image. But who knows? "Squeak" could be hamster for "Get your chin up, you 'orrible little man!"

LOL!

Yes, please don't ask. :wink:

Hah! And a good end to the chapter. I look forward to seeing what you do with the rest of Chateau Irenicus. :wink:


Thanks for commenting!

#9 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 11:06 AM

:shock: *grabs valium*

Seriously though, nice to see a new poster :wink:

Thanks!

Nice opening... I reckon it takes something really original for me *not* to fall asleep while reading Chateaux Irenicus. This looks rather promising. :roll:

Yes, I did consider skipping the dungeon altogether, as some have done. But everything has to start somewhere, and it's a good place for a kind of prologue.

Unless you are planning some devious twist to let Khalid live... *grabs a hankie* :wink:

I'm a writer, not a miracle worker...

Looking good so far. My only recomendation would be - unless you plan some cunning twists for the dungeon, do not tarry around there for too long. Summarize the less important parts, expand on the most important ones...

Cheers,
Theo :roll:

Yes, I realise that there are few things more boring than Chateau Irenicus. Don't worry, I skip forward a bit for the next one, and after that we should be out.

Thanks for commenting!

#10 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 11:13 AM

I don't understand this sentence. Do you mean that the bones are as sharp as a dagger? And that they are hurting her? In that case, I would change it somehow... Maybe... well, I can't think of anything. Damn... (Don't worry, though. I'm from Finland, and my english isn't perfect. So, this might just be another mistake by me. :shock: )

Well, to tell you the truth, I was never sure about that sentence. But since it's a quote from the actual game, I kept it in as the best way of describing the pain.

(A small typo there. I think you should replace the first 'since' with a 'seen'. :wink: )

Ah, yes. Thanks.

As I said, I liked the chapter. Can't wait for more!

Thanks very much!

#11 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 26 October 2003 - 04:46 PM

[quote] Hello, everyone. after an eternity of lurking, I've finally decided to try my hand at posting a story. Comments, criticisms, and gentle hints about hideous deaths by stabbing all welcome. [/quote] Welcome. It’s always good to see a new story going up.


[quote] This is based around my first ever BG character, Edgar Swordwrath, a LN kensai. It starts off fairly predictably, but I have a few changes in store. Provided I get that far. [/quote] Very brave starting off in chateau Irenicus. It may be predictable but it is a great place to establish characters and motivation and drop in background

[quote] Light. Flashes of it, brightly colored. Sometimes far off, sometimes streaming past.
I’m dreaming again , he thought. The pain will return soon. [/quote] yes the pain always does and there is no refuge in dreams for a child of Bhaal.

[quote] Edgar focussed his eyes on the figure before him. Yes, he recognised her now. She had always been short, but now she was painfully thin too. He thought he remembered her smile, but that was gone. A new scar above the right eye marred her otherwise pretty face. Even with grime encrusting her hair, flashes of pink shone through. It was a metaphor for the girl herself. [/quote] And it will be a long, long time before Imoen smiles again. Very nice description of Imoen, I like the feeling of desperation you are giving her. Very well done.

[quote] Baldur’s Gate? Yes, he felt another memory returning. Acclamation, rewards, victory. Victory over whom? An image formed in his mind unbidden. A man clad in brazen armour, his eyes shining gold as he hefted a darkly glinting sword. Sarevok. Bhaalspawn. His…brother. As memories flooded back, he seemed to hear his brother’s laughter and derision. Can’t even get up now, little brother? Too weak to do anything but be rescued by a girl? You never were deserving of our father’s gift. [/quote] don’t let Immy hear that kind of talk.

[quote] The immense ranger continued to strain at the bars. His face, Edgar now saw, was contorted with rage. “I am all right! I am ashamed to be all right! I live, while Dynaheir…Dynaheir…they killed her! I saw! She is dead and I have failed her!” [/quote] I always feel sorry fo rMinsc here, it makes one realize just how much control Dynaheir exercised over him.

[quote] Minsc stepped over the wreckage of the door. “The minds of evil are twisted! They think that those who seek to kick them must first find the key to do so! Rarely do they realise that the boot of goodness needs no key! Good can be sneaky and simply break down a door! Good is subtle like that! Yes, subtle!”[/quote] subtle, yes that word really describes Minsc.

[quote] A hamster poked its head out of his front pocket. “And Boo agrees!” he added. Despite the horror all around them, Edgar couldn’t help but be comforted by the sight. Minsc and Boo, together as always. The thought briefly occurred to him to ask exactly how Minsc had kept the hamster hidden from their captor, but he decided that there were some things that he really didn’t need to know. [/quote Edgar isn’t the curious type is he?

[quote] “What of Khalid? Isn’t he here?” He regretted the question instantly. In the relief of being freed, she had been able to put her worries aside, but now they came out.
“I…I do not know where he is. He was taken from his cell some time ago and I have not since him since.” Her face creased with concern. “I…pray that he is still alive. And I hope. Hope is all I have now.” [/quote] Oh that is a very bad subject to bring up. I hope you don’t make Jaheira suffer too long.

Very nice start. I look forward to more chapters.

#12 Guest_Edgar_*

Posted 27 October 2003 - 04:16 PM

Very brave starting off in chateau Irenicus. It may be predictable but it is a great place to establish characters and motivation and drop in background.

I'll only skim through it, but yes, I thought it was more effective to start off there.

And it will be a long, long time before Imoen smiles again. Very nice description of Imoen, I like the feeling of desperation you are giving her. Very well done.


Thanks!

subtle, yes that word really describes Minsc.


Yes, that's what I thought.... :wink:

Very nice start. I look forward to more chapters.

Thanks for commenting!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com