Something silly in between. Laska's always very on-topic!
Laska Leafwalker's Important Sociological Experiment
10:00 PM Starting time
Laska : Hello, everyone, and welcome to my Important Sociological Experiment! Today, we'll be looking at how alcohol has an effect on perceiving surroundings and acting accordingly.
Viconia : IE, excuse for drinking...
Laska : Shut up, Vico, you're just the control experiment!
Viconia : Oy vey... *rolls eyes*
Imoen : Hi! I'll be documenting the entire procedure. I'll just write down what Laska drinks and what's happening...
Laska : We're here at the Five Flagons and are getting ready to begin! This evening, I'll be drinking a lot and Imoen will document how it affects me...
Viconia : Being the control experiment, won't be drinking anything, but I will be
10:05 PM. Five ales later
Laska : I don't feel anything yet. Place is kinda quiet... Nothing happening yet. Some zit-faced fat bloke just sat down on the barstool next to me. I need more drinks...
Viconia : *sitting at the table in the corner looking bored. Then sighs twice.*
10:20 PM. Five more ales, two scotches later
Laska : *blinks* Wow, getting a little warmer already. Hey, Vic? How are you doing?
Viconia : Bored and... bored. *a man passes and gives Viconia an appraising look. Viconia gives the man a harsh glare, staring him into submission.*
Laska : Okay, more drinks! More! MOOORREEEEE!!!!
Imoen : *scribbles onto notepad*
11:00 PM. 2 Ales, three scotches, four glasses of elven wine later.
Laska : Whoa... Almost fell off the stool there. *steads herself* Hmm, that ugly bloke next to me is startin' to look pretty good... Hmmm, muscular, thin, wirely... Zitty? Hmmm, better drink some more...
Viconia : *A man with a drink sat down at Viconia's table and is chatting her up. Viconia is cheerfully ignoring him* Are you drunk yet? Can we go home?
Laska : Oh, come on, you're a light-weight!
Viconia : How the hell did I get swindled into this deal? I need a better agent!
11:30 PM. 3 Evermeads, one scotch, four glasses of wine and three ales later.
Laska : *slurrs into the air, not talking to anyone in particular* I... I ones knowss this guy... he lookzz like you, but you's not him. *lays head on counter* I'ms a good ad'enturrr! I am, I am, I AM!!! Wanna see my zwhords? I can slize an apple off someonez head right nowzz! Come ones, let me tries? Pleeeeeeeaaazzzeee?
Viconia : *sighs and looks generally very unhappy.*
Laska : *covers her mouth with her hand in a 'shocked little girl' fashion* Viconia! Stop playing with that guy's nuts!
Viconia : What? *blinks* Look, this bore's been talking my ears off all evening, at least I can help myself to his cashews. *continues wading her hands through the bowl of complementary nuts that the man has brought with him, still looking for the cashews among the peanuts*
Laska : Well, it'z un-wholesuch and stuff... Not very nice. *takes another look at the ugly guy next to her* Woooooowww, superstud!
12:00 PM. 4 Evermeads, two ales later.
Laska : I am tellin' ye zlowe-pokes that I'm perfslectly ss-shober! Just lookz how well I coordinat-shed I ams. *twirls around on her barstool and sings* The elfsh on the shtool goes s-round and roun'! S-round and roun'! Roun' and s-round! The Elfsh on the....*almost falls off and stops herself by holding on to the bar....* Whoash, headrush!
Barmaid : *A young red-headed barmaid with a deep cleavage stops by to give Laska her drinks* Here you go, miss.
Laska : *Her eyes roam rather conspiciously over the barmaid's body* Whoa! You'ress cute! Shay... Ever got your back-sh rubbed by a naked elf?
Barmaid : *snarls* Get bent, rummy! *throws ale in Laska's face*
Viconia : *snickers* And what lesson have you learned today?
Laska : Always holds your mouthss openss s-when you're picking up the barmaidsh. *Laska yelps in surprise as an empty mug, thrown by the barmaid, shatters against the back of her skull.*
0:30 AM. 7 Evermeads later
Imoen : Hey. Laska isn't here right now. She's over there, drunk as a dungbeetle and dancing on top of that table! *points to the back of the room, where Laska is pulling off some wild moves, banging her head from left to right on the rhythm of 'Techo-Greensleeves'.* Jumpin' Jeepers, I hope she doesn't hurt herself.
*A loud crash and a yelp, followed by disappointed sounds from the patrons, fills the room*
Imoen : ...
Imoen : And down she goes.
Laska : I'm okaayshhh, I'm fine, not hurtzzzz... Don't worry, I'm natushally bendy!
Viconia : *yells* Nice going, twinkle-toes!
1:00 AM. 4 Evermeads later
Laska : I... felshe... I... loshg... drinkzzzz goodshhh. I hhurj... Ey, ugjll... jguhu... *Laska's head drops down on the counter* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Viconia : Thank Tymora! Now we can finally get home and into our beds.
Imoen : Tired as hell. Come on, let's go... Should we drag her home?
Viconia : Nah, she's in her natural enviroment here.
2:00 AM.
*rooms starts to clear... Most people going home*
Laska : Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
2:30 AM.
*rooms is cleared, all but one have gone home*
Laska : Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
9:00 Am.
*Imoen and Viconia walk into the bar and find Laska still sleeping. They walk over to Laska and slowly lift her head off the counter.*
Laska : Zzzzzz... Uwha? Wha?
Imoen : *Imoen slowly pulls off a napkin that's still sticking to Laska's face*
Laska : *yawns* So, end-conclusion, ey?
Imoen : Got my notepad right here!
Laska : Well, I think we know what happened. I, the person who drank, had loads of fun, enjoyed myself immensely, made loads of new friends, potential bed-hopping with a barmaid and was the center of attention... what I remember of it, that is. In the meantime, our control experiment Viconia was cranky and crabby all day, never flirted and didn't enjoy herself at all. I can definitely say that it has been proven that alcohol is a recipe for happiness, a good social life and greatly improves flirting-skills.
Imoen : *gulps as Laska takes the notepad* Emmm...
Laska : Hey! What gives! These aren't research notes! You've been doodling charicatures of the patrons all night!
Imoen : Sorry! I just got bored and wanted something to do.
Laska : Well, that only means we'll have to do our research again. *grins broadly* Tonight, in fact!
Viconia : Oh, no you don't! I'm not sitting around in a bar all night again. Why don't I do the drinking and talking tonight (moderately, I might add) while you don't touch a drop and look at everyone drinking.... all night long... *grins*
Laska : *blanches, then falls to her knees and cries to the heavens* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Heheh, just a silly tiff. Expect a new Tnt soon.
Thanks for reading.
---Weyoun
