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Songs left Unsung part 8


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#1 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 23 September 2003 - 11:43 PM

Ok, so I'm a couple of days late with this - I just really struggled to write this chapter. But after a couple of restarts and a lot of revisions I have a version I don't entirely hate, so it'll have to do :) .

Songs Left Unsung Part 8: In Too Deep

Garrick sits miserably on the edge of a crate, doing his best to look calm and relaxed but inwardly very much wishing he were somewhere else. The city docks are hardly his favourite part of Athkatla, and the stench of fish in the air is beginning to make him feel slightly ill. His cloak is pulled tightly around him, but it is not a warm night and though it isn’t actually raining there is a chilly breeze blowing from the sea and carrying quite a lot of water with it, so he is getting wetter and colder by the minute. He is also uncomfortably aware that he is sitting on damp wood, and that the dampness is slowly permeating his various layers of clothing and will shortly reach his backside. All in all, he would much prefer to be in a warm inn somewhere. But it is hardly the first time in his adventuring life he has experienced such discomfort, and he feels that he would be able to endure it well enough if it were not that he is so unhappy about the reason for having to do so.

He has known since Yavana rejected Bodhi’s offer of aid that locating Imoen would be nigh on impossible unless they bought the aid of the Shadow Thieves. He knows that Yavana has been carefully hoarding much of the gold they have received as rewards for quests accomplished or looted from fallen foes, saving up towards the twenty thousand gold fee demanded by the Shadow Thieves as payment for their assistance. But what would happen when they finally had the required gold was not something he had given much thought to, not until two days ago when after a profitable visit to the Adventurer’s Mart to sell much of the loot they had obtained from Firkraag’s lair, Yavana had announced that they had reached their target and that she intended to take the money to their Shadow Thief contact the following day.

Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.

Garrick shivers. This is not the kind of adventuring he dreamt of as a boy. In his daydreams he was always the one in charge, choosing which valiant quest to pursue next. Now it seems to him that he and Yavana and the others are not in any way in control, caught up in the guild war between the Shadow Thieves and Bodhi’s vampires whether they like it or not.

The whole conflict scares him. All the rumours and stories he has heard about the Shadow Thieves have spoken of a powerful society which no one in their right minds would risk crossing. Being involved in them in any way, even as their supposed allies, makes him feel decidedly uneasy. And the prospect of having to fight Bodhi is an even scarier one…

The only good thing about the Shadow Thieves as Garrick sees it is that at least they are living people, not vampires. Of late, as the guild war has escalated, street fights between the rival guild members have become more and more frequent, and he has seen some of the bodies of thieves killed in these encounters – pale, dried up corpses, drained of blood and with their faces frozen in expressions of terror. Since having her offer an alliance turned down by Yavana. Bodhi appears to have decided that there is little point in hiding what she is, and that fear is her best weapon – and so far it has worked. More Shadow Thieves desert every day, and morale did not seem high in the thief headquarters. The guild war is tipping the vampires’ way.

Which, of course, is where he and Yavana come in. Whatever reassurances the Shadow Master might give, it is obvious to Garrick that there is no chance of proceeding with Imoen’s rescue until Bodhi has been dealt with, and that the Shadow Thieves are not going to be able to do this on their own.

He realises that he is shivering again, and not just from the cold. Dealing with a nest of vampires…is not something he wants to think about. Firmly he tries to focus on his immediate surroundings, to relax and stop himself shaking, but however hard he tries he cannot banish the fear entirely.

He decides that perhaps a good distraction would be to concentrate on the more imminent danger – he could get his first experience of fighting vampires at any minute, should Bodhi make an attempt to seize the crates. Sunrise is not far off though, and he is beginning to hope that they might make it through the night without trouble. He supposes he should be making more of an effort to keep watch, but he cannot see far in the flickering lantern light – it is hard enough to make out the forms of his comrades around him.

Minsc is sitting beside him on the damp crates, looking alert and ready for battle as he always does. Garrick finds the big man’s presence reassuring – he is sure it will take more than vampires to faze Minsc. Jaheira is standing a short distance away, her elven infravision aiding her in keeping a look out. Garrick has been doing his best to avoid the druid since his argument with her over his feelings for Yavana, not wanting to give her another chance to lecture him. Yavana herself is standing at the bottom of the steps leading away from the dock, talking quietly with Haer’Dalis. Garrick can’t hear what they are talking about, and is in no mood to try to interfere. He wouldn’t mind having someone to talk to himself, to take his mind off other things, but Yoshimo is nowhere in sight – Garrick presumes that his friend is concealed in the shadows nearby, and knows that it will be futile to try to spot him.

He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling – he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head – he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.

It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he’ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire’s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living – he can’t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life…

“Greetings. I have been looking for you.”

The interruption snaps Garrick out of his morose mood, and he looks up hastily to see a cloaked figure step out of the shadows nearby. It seems he has not been alone in failing to spot the man’s approach – his companions are only now beginning to react, drawing weapons and closing in around the crates. Yavana begins to chant quietly, preparing a spell.

The man has stopped at the edge of the circle of lantern light, seemingly waiting for a response. Garrick licks suddenly dry lips and slides forward off the crate, cursing himself for having dared to hope that they might see the night through without an attack coming.

“And who are you, my hound, to claim acquaintance with us so boldly?” Haer’Dalis steps forward challengingly towards the stranger, his twin blades glowing slightly in his hands, and for once Garrick is more than happy to let Haer take control of the situation.

“I have been watching you for some time now. Are you enjoying yourselves, guarding these boxes? Hardly a task worthy of your abilities.”

Garrick hates all this talking – a fight seems inevitable, and he wishes they could just get it over with. He is becoming more apprehensive with each second that passes, wondering how many other enemies are lurking just out of sight.

“Forget these foolish games, vampire,” Jaheira calls, evidently sharing Garrick’s feelings about wanting to get on with things. “We have already rejected your mistress’ offer. You and your kind are an abomination, an insult to nature, and I trust nothing you say.”

The vampire laughs mockingly. “But who can you trust, fool? Your employers? The Shadow Master will repay your loyalty with a knife in the back as soon as you have outlived your usefulness to him. Unless one of your so-called friends here beats him to it. Are you sure you know them all as well as you think you do?”

“We will not listen to your lies!” The fury in the druid’s voice makes it clear that the time for talking is over. The vampire snarls and charges towards them, moving at a speed that astonishes Garrick. From the darkness on either side more dark forms appear, converging on them as they stand loosely grouped in front of the crates. Garrick barely has time to realise how terrified he is before their foes are upon them.

Garrick’s world descends into chaos. There seem to be vampires everywhere, their pale faces leering at him out of the gloom as they reach for him with their claw like hands. It is all he can do to keep them off, setting his back to the crates and slashing desperately with his sword at anything moving in front of him. He has no idea of how the fight as a whole is going – there is an occasional shout or battle cry from one of his companions, and he can see flashes of light as Yavana’s spells go off, but all his attention is focused on staying alive.

He can’t even tell how many enemies he is fighting – the vampires are constantly moving, blending in and out of the darkness so that he rarely has a good target to strike at. There is no time to think, no time to plan a strategy; all he can do is try to keep fending off the attacks. How long the fight has been going on for he couldn’t say – all he is aware of is the vampires lunging towards him, hissing and snarling like wild beasts. His arms ache from constantly swinging his sword, and he knows he cannot keep them off for much longer – they are stronger than he, and seem to tire less easily, and the few blows he has landed do not appear to have done much good.

The more he tires, the faster the attacks seem to come – blood is dripping from a scratch on his face now, and that seems to excite the vampires even more. He is breathing in ragged gasps, and from the hideous grins on their faces he knows they can tell he is weakening.

There are shouts coming from somewhere nearby, he hopes desperately that one of his friends will come to his aid before it is too late…a powerful blow to the shoulder sends him staggering back against the crates, one of the creatures leaps towards him and there is a moment of utter horror as he realises he won’t get his sword up in time… he sees a flash of white fangs coming towards him and snaps his head back so hard that he bangs it violently against a crate, but then mid-leap the vampire disappears, and there is only a small bat hanging in the air in front of him, which quickly disappears into the night.

He shakes his head to try to clear it a little, feeling dazed and confused and not entirely comprehending what is going on. He is tired and aching, and the back of his head throbs painfully. He slumps to the ground, slowly unclenching cramped fingers from his sword hilt and dropping the weapon to the ground. He closes his eyes and leans back, not quite able to believe that it is over, that he is still alive.

“Are you alright?” He opens his eyes again to see Jaheira crouching in front of him, looking concerned.

He nods, and then regrets having done so as the throbbing in his head starts up anew. The druid gives him a quizzical look, and then takes his head in her hands, muttering under her breath – as she stops speaking, there is a strange sensation as though someone has thrown a bucket of cold water in his face, but then the pain ceases and his head clears somewhat.

He blinks, trying to order his thoughts. “What happened?”

“We killed three of them, and the other two ran. Fortunately no one is badly hurt, and the dawn will soon be here. Now are you sure you are alright?”

Jaheira sounds impatient, and glancing round Garrick sees that both Minsc and Yoshimo look in need of attention – Minsc is sitting down, looking very pale and shaken and the Kozakuran is wiping blood from a long scratch on his arm. He assures Jaheira that he will be fine, and lets her go to tend the others.

If Jaheira is right, there were only five enemies…the fight is something of a blur in his memory, but he is sure it felt like at least twice that number were attacking him. What he does remember clearly, what he suspects he will be unable to forget, was how scared he was – he has not yet been able to stop himself shaking, he keeps thinking of the horrible moment when he was sure he was about to die. And at the back of his mind he knows that this is only the beginning, that after this incident all the vampires in the city will likely be after them…

He has still not been able to stop thinking about this by the evening of the next day, when after spending most of the day abed they are sitting in the common room of the Mithrest eating a rather late breakfast. Sooner or later the Shadow Master is going to order to them to destroy Bodhi and her guild, and just the thought of that makes him feel sick. He has never been this scared before, and he has no idea how he is going to deal with his fear. But deal with it he must – in the past there have been times when he has lost his nerve, has let his friends down because his courage failed him, and he is determined not to let that happen again. He doesn’t think he could live with himself if it did.

 

Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad.

Next chapter will be confrontation with Bodhi and will also reveal some of Garrick's dark secrets - we're getting to the part of the story I've been really looking forward to writing now ;) . Seems unlikely I'll get it done by this weekend though - more likely the one after.

#2 Guest_IronDragon_*

Posted 24 September 2003 - 03:13 AM

Ok, so I'm a couple of days late with this - I just really struggled to write this chapter. But after a couple of restarts and a lot of revisions I have a version I don't entirely hate, so it'll have to do .

Seems to me when writers struggle with particular sections those sections turn out to be very very good in the end.

Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.

and there are even more costs, a lot more.

Garrick shivers. This is not the kind of adventuring he dreamt of as a boy. In his daydreams he was always the one in charge, choosing which valiant quest to pursue next. Now it seems to him that he and Yavana and the others are not in any way in control, caught up in the guild war between the Shadow Thieves and Bodhi’s vampires whether they like it or not.

there is always someone else pulling the strings and someone beyond that pulling more strings.

The whole conflict scares him. All the rumours and stories he has heard about the Shadow Thieves have spoken of a powerful society which no one in their right minds would risk crossing. Being involved in them in any way, even as their supposed allies, makes him feel decidedly uneasy. And the prospect of having to fight Bodhi is an even scarier one…

No one intelligent wants to fight Bhodi.

He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling – he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head – he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.

Jaheira is usually right about most things. Whether or not she agrees whit Yavana’s relationship is another thing entirely.

“I have been watching you for some time now. Are you enjoying yourselves, guarding these boxes? Hardly a task worthy of your abilities.”

True a task ill suited to this particular group, but I doubt there was much to enjoy watching the guarding.

“Forget these foolish games, vampire,” Jaheira calls, evidently sharing Garrick’s feelings about wanting to get on with things. “We have already rejected your mistress’ offer. You and your kind are an abomination, an insult to nature, and I trust nothing you say.”

The vampire laughs mockingly. “But who can you trust, fool? Your employers? The Shadow Master will repay your loyalty with a knife in the back as soon as you have outlived your usefulness to him. Unless one of your so-called friends here beats him to it. Are you sure you know them all as well as you think you do?”

threats answered with doubts. A fight may be avoidable but the damage is already done.

There are shouts coming from somewhere nearby, he hopes desperately that one of his friends will come to his aid before it is too late…a powerful blow to the shoulder sends him staggering back against the crates, one of the creatures leaps towards him and there is a moment of utter horror as he realises he won’t get his sword up in time… he sees a flash of white fangs coming towards him and snaps his head back so hard that he bangs it violently against a crate, but then mid-leap the vampire disappears, and there is only a small bat hanging in the air in front of him, which quickly disappears into the night.

Clerics are very good things to have about.

If Jaheira is right, there were only five enemies…the fight is something of a blur in his memory, but he is sure it felt like at least twice that number were attacking him. What he does remember clearly, what he suspects he will be unable to forget, was how scared he was – he has not yet been able to stop himself shaking, he keeps thinking of the horrible moment when he was sure he was about to die. And at the back of his mind he knows that this is only the beginning, that after this incident all the vampires in the city will likely be after them…

when you draw attention to your self like this yes you will be noticed.

Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad.

Very good actually. Good fight scene, the action flowed well and was great cap to the tension you built up.

#3 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 24 September 2003 - 08:21 AM

Ok, so I'm a couple of days late with this - I just really struggled to write this chapter. But after a couple of restarts and a lot of revisions I have a version I don't entirely hate, so it'll have to do :) .


Heh, I like your slightly depressed attitude. :) Though, neither you nor I can compete with a certain Attic veteran when it comes to belittling our own work. If you've read the old archived quizzes, perhaps you can guess to whom I refer. :)

Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.


Heh, I wonder how much cash they had after they killed Sarevok... I reckon they must have had a fortune already, so Garrick probably wouldn't be *that* impressed with the sum as such... but of course using it to buy more errands to run for Linvail doesn't sound smart, does it?

The only good thing about the Shadow Thieves as Garrick sees it is that at least they are living people, not vampires. Of late, as the guild war has escalated, street fights between the rival guild members have become more and more frequent, and he has seen some of the bodies of thieves killed in these encounters – pale, dried up corpses, drained of blood and with their faces frozen in expressions of terror. Since having her offer an alliance turned down by Yavana. Bodhi appears to have decided that there is little point in hiding what she is, and that fear is her best weapon – and so far it has worked. More Shadow Thieves desert every day, and morale did not seem high in the thief headquarters. The guild war is tipping the vampires’ way.


It's not exactly an even match up though, is it? Even though, of course we get to see only a very small part of the Shadow Thieves organization in the game. According to the lorebook, there are ten Shadow Masters (like Linvail) in Athkatla... so you can imagine just how huge the organization is.

Minsc is sitting beside him on the damp crates, looking alert and ready for battle as he always does. Garrick finds the big man’s presence reassuring – he is sure it will take more than vampires to faze Minsc.


Hehe, funny that he should think that way... on those rare occasions when I keep Minsc around, he always is the one to fall pray to the vampire's dire charm... I don't know why, but he just fails the saves all the time... so, I' advise Garrick to look for a safer spot... :)

He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling – he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head – he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.


And that of course just proves that Jae was right, despite what he wants to believe himself.

It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he’ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire’s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living – he can’t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life…


Ugh. And most of his suffering is self-induced, created in his own mind. I question his ability to deal with it himself, I think the help needs to come from some outer source, somoene needs to open his eyes. Jaheira started the job well enough. :)

The vampire laughs mockingly. “But who can you trust, fool? Your employers? The Shadow Master will repay your loyalty with a knife in the back as soon as you have outlived your usefulness to him. Unless one of your so-called friends here beats him to it. Are you sure you know them all as well as you think you do?”


So, will the vampires succeed in making them suspicious towards each other? One wonders though, who would be the one they suspect... Yoshi, Garrick, Haer... they all fit the bill, actually.

“We will not listen to your lies!” The fury in the druid’s voice makes it clear that the time for talking is over. The vampire snarls and charges towards them, moving at a speed that astonishes Garrick. From the darkness on either side more dark forms appear, converging on them as they stand loosely grouped in front of the crates. Garrick barely has time to realise how terrified he is before their foes are upon them.


Heh, not one, weak, starved vampire as in the game, I see. This does make sense, I say. :)

There are shouts coming from somewhere nearby, he hopes desperately that one of his friends will come to his aid before it is too late…a powerful blow to the shoulder sends him staggering back against the crates, one of the creatures leaps towards him and there is a moment of utter horror as he realises he won’t get his sword up in time… he sees a flash of white fangs coming towards him and snaps his head back so hard that he bangs it violently against a crate, but then mid-leap the vampire disappears, and there is only a small bat hanging in the air in front of him, which quickly disappears into the night.


*Garrick has been stripped from today's menu*

He shakes his head to try to clear it a little, feeling dazed and confused and not entirely comprehending what is going on. He is tired and aching, and the back of his head throbs painfully. He slumps to the ground, slowly unclenching cramped fingers from his sword hilt and dropping the weapon to the ground. He closes his eyes and leans back, not quite able to believe that it is over, that he is still alive.


And then he went on to write a song called.... 'Stayin' Alive'... :)

He nods, and then regrets having done so as the throbbing in his head starts up anew. The druid gives him a quizzical look, and then takes his head in her hands, muttering under her breath – as she stops speaking, there is a strange sensation as though someone has thrown a bucket of cold water in his face, but then the pain ceases and his head clears somewhat.


Well, with Jae I wouldn't be surprised if it was a bucket of cold water in his face... one of her favorite healing methods, I suspect :D

He blinks, trying to order his thoughts. “What happened?”


“We killed three of them, and the other two ran. Fortunately no one is badly hurt, and the dawn will soon be here. Now are you sure you are alright?”


Hmm, is it just me or has Jaheira taking pity on the poor boy? :)

Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad.


Nay, it was very good - plot did advance further and we got to witness how Garrick is dealing (rather - not dealing) with his feelings after the conversation with Jaheira. Important stuff, I think. :D

Next chapter will be confrontation with Bodhi and will also reveal some of Garrick's dark secrets - we're getting to the part of the story I've been really looking forward to writing now :) . Seems unlikely I'll get it done by this weekend though - more likely the one after.


And something bad will happen to Haer, I do hope. ;)

#4 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 24 September 2003 - 03:03 PM

[quote][quote] Ok, so I'm a couple of days late with this - I just really struggled to write this chapter. But after a couple of restarts and a lot of revisions I have a version I don't entirely hate, so it'll have to do . [/quote]

Seems to me when writers struggle with particular sections those sections turn out to be very very good in the end.
[/quote]

Well, the bit I was having the most trouble with I've put back to the next chapter - and if your theory is right, it's going to be pretty darn good when I finally write it :D

[quote]
[quote] Garrick shivers. This is not the kind of adventuring he dreamt of as a boy. In his daydreams he was always the one in charge, choosing which valiant quest to pursue next. Now it seems to him that he and Yavana and the others are not in any way in control, caught up in the guild war between the Shadow Thieves and Bodhi’s vampires whether they like it or not. [/quote]

There is always someone else pulling the strings and someone beyond that pulling more strings.
[/quote]

Seems that way, doesn't it :) .

[quote]
[quote] He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling – he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head – he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started. [/quote]

Jaheira is usually right about most things. Whether or not she agrees whit Yavana’s relationship is another thing entirely.
[/quote]

Garrick needs to do some more thinking about it.

[quote]
The vampire laughs mockingly. “But who can you trust, fool? Your employers? The Shadow Master will repay your loyalty with a knife in the back as soon as you have outlived your usefulness to him. Unless one of your so-called friends here beats him to it. Are you sure you know them all as well as you think you do?” [/quote]

threats answered with doubts. A fight may be avoidable but the damage is already done.
[/quote]

Well, they're not stupid enough to believe everything he says - but some of the party, at least, won't find it easy to forget his words.

[quote]
[quote] If Jaheira is right, there were only five enemies…the fight is something of a blur in his memory, but he is sure it felt like at least twice that number were attacking him. What he does remember clearly, what he suspects he will be unable to forget, was how scared he was – he has not yet been able to stop himself shaking, he keeps thinking of the horrible moment when he was sure he was about to die. And at the back of his mind he knows that this is only the beginning, that after this incident all the vampires in the city will likely be after them… [/quote] when you draw attention to your self like this yes you will be noticed.
[/quote]

Bhaalspawn are pretty good at gettimg noticed :shock: .

[quote]
[quote] Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad. [/quote] Very good actually. Good fight scene, the action flowed well and was great cap to the tension you built up.[/quote]

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it :wink: .

#5 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 24 September 2003 - 03:46 PM

Ok, so I'm a couple of days late with this - I just really struggled to write this chapter. But after a couple of restarts and a lot of revisions I have a version I don't entirely hate, so it'll have to do :? .


Heh, I like your slightly depressed attitude. :D


It's what comes of posting in the early hours of the morning after two days of getting increasingly fed up with the whole thing :D .

Though, neither you nor I can compete with a certain Attic veteran when it comes to belittling our own work. If you've read the old archived quizzes, perhaps you can guess to whom I refer. :)


I think so, although I'd imagine there's very few writers who actually like their own work :shock: .


Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.


Heh, I wonder how much cash they had after they killed Sarevok... I reckon they must have had a fortune already, so Garrick probably wouldn't be *that* impressed with the sum as such... but of course using it to buy more errands to run for Linvail doesn't sound smart, does it?


Yep - Garrick can definitely think of better things to do with the money. As to their BG1 fortune, there'll be some mention of that in a future chapter :D .


The only good thing about the Shadow Thieves as Garrick sees it is that at least they are living people, not vampires. Of late, as the guild war has escalated, street fights between the rival guild members have become more and more frequent, and he has seen some of the bodies of thieves killed in these encounters – pale, dried up corpses, drained of blood and with their faces frozen in expressions of terror. Since having her offer an alliance turned down by Yavana. Bodhi appears to have decided that there is little point in hiding what she is, and that fear is her best weapon – and so far it has worked. More Shadow Thieves desert every day, and morale did not seem high in the thief headquarters. The guild war is tipping the vampires’ way.


It's not exactly an even match up though, is it? Even though, of course we get to see only a very small part of the Shadow Thieves organization in the game. According to the lorebook, there are ten Shadow Masters (like Linvail) in Athkatla... so you can imagine just how huge the organization is.


indeed - I was impressed when I read Lands of Intrigue :)


Minsc is sitting beside him on the damp crates, looking alert and ready for battle as he always does. Garrick finds the big man’s presence reassuring – he is sure it will take more than vampires to faze Minsc.


Hehe, funny that he should think that way... on those rare occasions when I keep Minsc around, he always is the one to fall pray to the vampire's dire charm... I don't know why, but he just fails the saves all the time... so, I' advise Garrick to look for a safer spot... :wink:


LOL! Maybe Minsc is wearing the Helm of Charm Protection, or something. In my games he always has Lilarcor - but in this story I decided to save myself that annoyance :wink:


He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling – he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head – he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.


And that of course just proves that Jae was right, despite what he wants to believe himself.


Indeed. He's going to have to do a lot more thinking about this.


It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he’ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire’s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living – he can’t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life…


Ugh. And most of his suffering is self-induced, created in his own mind. I question his ability to deal with it himself, I think the help needs to come from some outer source, somoene needs to open his eyes. Jaheira started the job well enough. :)


Actually, he'll be getting some help from an outer source in the very next chapter. But maybe not quite in the way you mean here :wink: .


“We will not listen to your lies!” The fury in the druid’s voice makes it clear that the time for talking is over. The vampire snarls and charges towards them, moving at a speed that astonishes Garrick. From the darkness on either side more dark forms appear, converging on them as they stand loosely grouped in front of the crates. Garrick barely has time to realise how terrified he is before their foes are upon them.


Heh, not one, weak, starved vampire as in the game, I see. This does make sense, I say. :)


I wanted to give them a bit of a challenge :) .


There are shouts coming from somewhere nearby, he hopes desperately that one of his friends will come to his aid before it is too late…a powerful blow to the shoulder sends him staggering back against the crates, one of the creatures leaps towards him and there is a moment of utter horror as he realises he won’t get his sword up in time… he sees a flash of white fangs coming towards him and snaps his head back so hard that he bangs it violently against a crate, but then mid-leap the vampire disappears, and there is only a small bat hanging in the air in front of him, which quickly disappears into the night.


*Garrick has been stripped from today's menu*


LOL! It would have been a rather abrupt end to the story if he'd died here...although I suppose I could always have had him come back as a vampire :) .


He shakes his head to try to clear it a little, feeling dazed and confused and not entirely comprehending what is going on. He is tired and aching, and the back of his head throbs painfully. He slumps to the ground, slowly unclenching cramped fingers from his sword hilt and dropping the weapon to the ground. He closes his eyes and leans back, not quite able to believe that it is over, that he is still alive.


And then he went on to write a song called.... 'Stayin' Alive'... :D


LOL! :x


He nods, and then regrets having done so as the throbbing in his head starts up anew. The druid gives him a quizzical look, and then takes his head in her hands, muttering under her breath – as she stops speaking, there is a strange sensation as though someone has thrown a bucket of cold water in his face, but then the pain ceases and his head clears somewhat.


Well, with Jae I wouldn't be surprised if it was a bucket of cold water in his face... one of her favorite healing methods, I suspect :D


Fortunately for Garrick there weren't any buckets around :) .


“We killed three of them, and the other two ran. Fortunately no one is badly hurt, and the dawn will soon be here. Now are you sure you are alright?”


Hmm, is it just me or has Jaheira taking pity on the poor boy? :)


I think she does feel a bit sorry for him - she didn't enjoy having to hurt his feelings in the last chapter, but she felt it had to be done.


Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad.


Nay, it was very good - plot did advance further and we got to witness how Garrick is dealing (rather - not dealing) with his feelings after the conversation with Jaheira. Important stuff, I think. :D


It just wouldn't seem to go quite as I wanted it to -but I'm glad you think it turned out ok.


Next chapter will be confrontation with Bodhi and will also reveal some of Garrick's dark secrets - we're getting to the part of the story I've been really looking forward to writing now :) . Seems unlikely I'll get it done by this weekend though - more likely the one after.


And something bad will happen to Haer, I do hope. :D


We'll see :)

#6 Laufey

Posted 26 September 2003 - 04:10 AM

Garrick sits miserably on the edge of a crate, doing his best to look calm and relaxed but inwardly very much wishing he were somewhere else. The city docks are hardly his favourite part of Athkatla, and the stench of fish in the air is beginning to make him feel slightly ill. His cloak is pulled tightly around him, but it is not a warm night and though it isn’t actually raining there is a chilly breeze blowing from the sea and carrying quite a lot of water with it, so he is getting wetter and colder by the minute. He is also uncomfortably aware that he is sitting on damp wood, and that the dampness is slowly permeating his various layers of clothing and will shortly reach his backside. All in all, he would much prefer to be in a warm inn somewhere. But it is hardly the first time in his adventuring life he has experienced such discomfort, and he feels that he would be able to endure it well enough if it were not that he is so unhappy about the reason for having to do so.


Yeah...adventuring doesn't always offer you physical comforts.


Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.


Once again, fantasy clashes with reality...something Garrick must be quite used to by now.

It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he’ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire’s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living – he can’t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life…


Poor dear...


He can’t even tell how many enemies he is fighting – the vampires are constantly moving, blending in and out of the darkness so that he rarely has a good target to strike at. There is no time to think, no time to plan a strategy; all he can do is try to keep fending off the attacks. How long the fight has been going on for he couldn’t say – all he is aware of is the vampires lunging towards him, hissing and snarling like wild beasts. His arms ache from constantly swinging his sword, and he knows he cannot keep them off for much longer – they are stronger than he, and seem to tire less easily, and the few blows he has landed do not appear to have done much good.


Nice battle description!


 


Well, that's that. Hope it wasn't too bad.


Next chapter will be confrontation with Bodhi and will also reveal some of Garrick's dark secrets - we're getting to the part of the story I've been really looking forward to writing now :( . Seems unlikely I'll get it done by this weekend though - more likely the one after.


I'll look forward to it! :)
Rogues do it from behind.

#7 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 26 September 2003 - 03:36 PM


Garrick sits miserably on the edge of a crate, doing his best to look calm and relaxed but inwardly very much wishing he were somewhere else. The city docks are hardly his favourite part of Athkatla, and the stench of fish in the air is beginning to make him feel slightly ill. His cloak is pulled tightly around him, but it is not a warm night and though it isn’t actually raining there is a chilly breeze blowing from the sea and carrying quite a lot of water with it, so he is getting wetter and colder by the minute. He is also uncomfortably aware that he is sitting on damp wood, and that the dampness is slowly permeating his various layers of clothing and will shortly reach his backside. All in all, he would much prefer to be in a warm inn somewhere. But it is hardly the first time in his adventuring life he has experienced such discomfort, and he feels that he would be able to endure it well enough if it were not that he is so unhappy about the reason for having to do so.


Yeah...adventuring doesn't always offer you physical comforts.


Lots of being cold, wet and tired, I'd imagine.


Twenty thousand gold…Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years’ supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ‘assistance’ the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.


Once again, fantasy clashes with reality...something Garrick must be quite used to by now.


Yep - he's learned the hard way that real life is very different to the world of the tales and songs that he based his childhood daydreams on.


He can’t even tell how many enemies he is fighting – the vampires are constantly moving, blending in and out of the darkness so that he rarely has a good target to strike at. There is no time to think, no time to plan a strategy; all he can do is try to keep fending off the attacks. How long the fight has been going on for he couldn’t say – all he is aware of is the vampires lunging towards him, hissing and snarling like wild beasts. His arms ache from constantly swinging his sword, and he knows he cannot keep them off for much longer – they are stronger than he, and seem to tire less easily, and the few blows he has landed do not appear to have done much good.


Nice battle description!


Thanks :( .


Next chapter will be confrontation with Bodhi and will also reveal some of Garrick's dark secrets - we're getting to the part of the story I've been really looking forward to writing now :) . Seems unlikely I'll get it done by this weekend though - more likely the one after.


I'll look forward to it! :(


Thanks for commenting :( .

#8 Guest_Maidros_*

Posted 04 October 2003 - 08:13 PM

Shalom,
Nice to see a new chapter of 'Songs Left Unsung'.

Songs Left Unsung Part 8: In Too Deep
Garrick sits miserably on the edge of a crate, doing his best to look calm and relaxed but inwardly very much wishing he were somewhere else. The city docks are hardly his favourite part of Athkatla, and the stench of fish in the air is beginning to make him feel slightly ill. His cloak is pulled tightly around him, but it is not a warm night and though it isn?t actually raining there is a chilly breeze blowing from the sea and carrying quite a lot of water with it, so he is getting wetter and colder by the minute. He is also uncomfortably aware that he is sitting on damp wood, and that the dampness is slowly permeating his various layers of clothing and will shortly reach his backside. All in all, he would much prefer to be in a warm inn somewhere. But it is hardly the first time in his adventuring life he has experienced such discomfort, and he feels that he would be able to endure it well enough if it were not that he is so unhappy about the reason for having to do so.


Poor Garrick! What has he got himself into?

Hmm. There are a couple of things here.
1) If the wind is blowing from the sea, is it likely it will be chilly, especially in a rather warm place like Amn (which roughly corresponds to the Spanish climate)? My experience is that the wind blowing from the sea is usually warm, since the sea cools and heats slower than land and has a moderating effect on the climate.

2) Since they are waiting at the docks and the wind is blowing from the sea, how can the stench of fish be in the air. There is certainly no stench of fish in the sea.

He has known since Yavana rejected Bodhi?s offer of aid that locating Imoen would be nigh on impossible unless they bought the aid of the Shadow Thieves. He knows that Yavana has been carefully hoarding much of the gold they have received as rewards for quests accomplished or looted from fallen foes, saving up towards the twenty thousand gold fee demanded by the Shadow Thieves as payment for their assistance. But what would happen when they finally had the required gold was not something he had given much thought to, not until two days ago when after a profitable visit to the Adventurer?s Mart to sell much of the loot they had obtained from Firkraag?s lair, Yavana had announced that they had reached their target and that she intended to take the money to their Shadow Thief contact the following day.


You have used the present tense for something that is already past in the first two sentences- they have already purchased the aid of the Shadow Thieves. Can you use the present tense for something that is already past?

Yavana seems to be a very determined woman.

Twenty thousand gold?Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years? supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ?assistance? the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.


You have used the past tense in the first sentence - Garrick's realisation - and then used the present - 'Yavana has given' in the second sentence. Is it intentional or is it a discrepancy?

A very good description of the uses Garrick has for the twenty thousand gold. Yes it does seem a bad bargain at first.

By the way, he does give you a couple of trinkets - a ring of protection +2 and an amulet of power. There is something to set against the nasty work he gets you into. It is a small thing to weigh against the gold you give, it is true, but something is better than nothing.

Another thing is that the price is fifteen thousand gold in the game - have you made the alteration to the price?

Garrick shivers. This is not the kind of adventuring he dreamt of as a boy. In his daydreams he was always the one in charge, choosing which valiant quest to pursue next. Now it seems to him that he and Yavana and the others are not in any way in control, caught up in the guild war between the Shadow Thieves and Bodhi?s vampires whether they like it or not.


Yes it is a very uncomfortable situation and you have protrayed the predicament of the party very well.

The whole conflict scares him. All the rumours and stories he has heard about the Shadow Thieves have spoken of a powerful society which no one in their right minds would risk crossing. Being involved in them in any way, even as their supposed allies, makes him feel decidedly uneasy. And the prospect of having to fight Bodhi is an even scarier one?


'being involved in them' - should it not be 'being involved with them'?

Yes it is a real catch-22 situation there.

The only good thing about the Shadow Thieves as Garrick sees it is that at least they are living people, not vampires. Of late, as the guild war has escalated, street fights between the rival guild members have become more and more frequent, and he has seen some of the bodies of thieves killed in these encounters ? pale, dried up corpses, drained of blood and with their faces frozen in expressions of terror. Since having her offer an alliance turned down by Yavana. Bodhi appears to have decided that there is little point in hiding what she is, and that fear is her best weapon ? and so far it has worked. More Shadow Thieves desert every day, and morale did not seem high in the thief headquarters. The guild war is tipping the vampires? way.


Well, Bodhi had decided that fear is the weapon she preferred even before the PC decides which side to join - you get to be part of her terror gang if you join her and you are the victim if you choose to join against her.

But for the PC, I believe that the war would go the Vampires' way. You have given a good bird-eye view of the guild war.

Which, of course, is where he and Yavana come in. Whatever reassurances the Shadow Master might give, it is obvious to Garrick that there is no chance of proceeding with Imoen?s rescue until Bodhi has been dealt with, and that the Shadow Thieves are not going to be able to do this on their own.

He realises that he is shivering again, and not just from the cold. Dealing with a nest of vampires?is not something he wants to think about. Firmly he tries to focus on his immediate surroundings, to relax and stop himself shaking, but however hard he tries he cannot banish the fear entirely.


Garrick has entirely natural feelings.

He decides that perhaps a good distraction would be to concentrate on the more imminent danger ? he could get his first experience of fighting vampires at any minute, should Bodhi make an attempt to seize the crates. Sunrise is not far off though, and he is beginning to hope that they might make it through the night without trouble. He supposes he should be making more of an effort to keep watch, but he cannot see far in the flickering lantern light ? it is hard enough to make out the forms of his comrades around him.


Hey that idea of guards was excellent and perfectly true. Guards are usually asleep on their feet - I speak from personal experience - and humans are not meant or good for guard duty.

He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling ? he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head ? he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn?t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.


Jealousy? Poor Garrick. He cannot muster enough courage to talk to his 'beloved'?

It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he?ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire?s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living ? he can?t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life?


Humans seem to contemplate death more easily than acting on such impulses, mercifully. Is he so desperate that he would welcome death?

?And who are you, my hound, to claim acquaintance with us so boldly?? Haer?Dalis steps forward challengingly towards the stranger, his twin blades glowing slightly in his hands, and for once Garrick is more than happy to let Haer take control of the situation.


Interesting to see that Haer calls the vampire 'hound'. I thought it would be 'bat' keeping in line with his avian metaphors.

?We will not listen to your lies!? The fury in the druid?s voice makes it clear that the time for talking is over. The vampire snarls and charges towards them, moving at a speed that astonishes Garrick. From the darkness on either side more dark forms appear, converging on them as they stand loosely grouped in front of the crates. Garrick barely has time to realise how terrified he is before their foes are upon them.

Garrick?s world descends into chaos. There seem to be vampires everywhere, their pale faces leering at him out of the gloom as they reach for him with their claw like hands. It is all he can do to keep them off, setting his back to the crates and slashing desperately with his sword at anything moving in front of him. He has no idea of how the fight as a whole is going ? there is an occasional shout or battle cry from one of his companions, and he can see flashes of light as Yavana?s spells go off, but all his attention is focused on staying alive.

He can?t even tell how many enemies he is fighting ? the vampires are constantly moving, blending in and out of the darkness so that he rarely has a good target to strike at. There is no time to think, no time to plan a strategy; all he can do is try to keep fending off the attacks. How long the fight has been going on for he couldn?t say ? all he is aware of is the vampires lunging towards him, hissing and snarling like wild beasts. His arms ache from constantly swinging his sword, and he knows he cannot keep them off for much longer ? they are stronger than he, and seem to tire less easily, and the few blows he has landed do not appear to have done much good.

The more he tires, the faster the attacks seem to come ? blood is dripping from a scratch on his face now, and that seems to excite the vampires even more. He is breathing in ragged gasps, and from the hideous grins on their faces he knows they can tell he is weakening.

There are shouts coming from somewhere nearby, he hopes desperately that one of his friends will come to his aid before it is too late?a powerful blow to the shoulder sends him staggering back against the crates, one of the creatures leaps towards him and there is a moment of utter horror as he realises he won?t get his sword up in time? he sees a flash of white fangs coming towards him and snaps his head back so hard that he bangs it violently against a crate, but then mid-leap the vampire disappears, and there is only a small bat hanging in the air in front of him, which quickly disappears into the night.

He shakes his head to try to clear it a little, feeling dazed and confused and not entirely comprehending what is going on. He is tired and aching, and the back of his head throbs painfully. He slumps to the ground, slowly unclenching cramped fingers from his sword hilt and dropping the weapon to the ground. He closes his eyes and leans back, not quite able to believe that it is over, that he is still alive.


Nice battle scene.

If Jaheira is right, there were only five enemies?the fight is something of a blur in his memory, but he is sure it felt like at least twice that number were attacking him. What he does remember clearly, what he suspects he will be unable to forget, was how scared he was ? he has not yet been able to stop himself shaking, he keeps thinking of the horrible moment when he was sure he was about to die. And at the back of his mind he knows that this is only the beginning, that after this incident all the vampires in the city will likely be after them?

He has still not been able to stop thinking about this by the evening of the next day, when after spending most of the day abed they are sitting in the common room of the Mithrest eating a rather late breakfast. Sooner or later the Shadow Master is going to order to them to destroy Bodhi and her guild, and just the thought of that makes him feel sick. He has never been this scared before, and he has no idea how he is going to deal with his fear. But deal with it he must ? in the past there have been times when he has lost his nerve, has let his friends down because his courage failed him, and he is determined not to let that happen again. He doesn?t think he could live with himself if it did.
.


Nice resolution of the chapter. Garrick coming to terms with his fear and trying to deal with it.
Very good chapter.

#9 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 07 October 2003 - 09:44 PM

[quote]Shalom,
Nice to see a new chapter of 'Songs Left Unsung'.
[/quote]

[quote]
[quote]
Songs Left Unsung Part 8: In Too Deep
Garrick sits miserably on the edge of a crate, doing his best to look calm and relaxed but inwardly very much wishing he were somewhere else. The city docks are hardly his favourite part of Athkatla, and the stench of fish in the air is beginning to make him feel slightly ill. His cloak is pulled tightly around him, but it is not a warm night and though it isn't actually raining there is a chilly breeze blowing from the sea and carrying quite a lot of water with it, so he is getting wetter and colder by the minute. He is also uncomfortably aware that he is sitting on damp wood, and that the dampness is slowly permeating his various layers of clothing and will shortly reach his backside. All in all, he would much prefer to be in a warm inn somewhere. But it is hardly the first time in his adventuring life he has experienced such discomfort, and he feels that he would be able to endure it well enough if it were not that he is so unhappy about the reason for having to do so.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Poor Garrick! What has he got himself into?
[/quote]

[quote]
Hmm. There are a couple of things here.
1) If the wind is blowing from the sea, is it likely it will be chilly, especially in a rather warm place like Amn (which roughly corresponds to the Spanish climate)? My experience is that the wind blowing from the sea is usually warm, since the sea cools and heats slower than land and has a moderating effect on the climate.
[/quote]

My (admittedly fairly limited) experience of winds blowing off the sea is that they are usually cold - but then here in Britain any wind tends to be pretty cold, so that may not mean much.

You are probably right - I will drop the 'chilly'.

[quote]
2) Since they are waiting at the docks and the wind is blowing from the sea, how can the stench of fish be in the air. There is certainly no stench of fish in the sea.
[/quote]

There will be fishing boats moored at the docks, to the seaward side of Garrick, though. And I figure the stench of fish would just generally hang around the docks, anyway, no matter where the wind is coming from.

I am impressed by your attention to detail - I never considered these points when I was writing the story!

[quote]
[quote]He has known since Yavana rejected Bodhi's offer of aid that locating Imoen would be nigh on impossible unless they bought the aid of the Shadow Thieves. He knows that Yavana has been carefully hoarding much of the gold they have received as rewards for quests accomplished or looted from fallen foes, saving up towards the twenty thousand gold fee demanded by the Shadow Thieves as payment for their assistance. But what would happen when they finally had the required gold was not something he had given much thought to, not until two days ago when after a profitable visit to the Adventurer's Mart to sell much of the loot they had obtained from Firkraag's lair, Yavana had announced that they had reached their target and that she intended to take the money to their Shadow Thief contact the following day.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
You have used the present tense for something that is already past in the first two sentences- they have already purchased the aid of the Shadow Thieves. Can you use the present tense for something that is already past?
[/quote]

You are definitely right about the 2nd sentence - it should be 'he has known'. 1st sentence I am unsure about - you may well be right there, too. I will think about it :shock: .

[quote]
Yavana seems to be a very determined woman.
[/quote]

Indeed she is.

[quote]
[quote]Twenty thousand gold?Garrick had never really realised just how high a price this was until the time had come to pay it. Enough gold to allow them all to live in comfort for many years to come. Enough to outfit him with the best equipment he could possibly desire. Certainly enough to buy several years? supply of ale. And instead, Yavana has given it all to the Shadow Thieves. Whom Garrick has absolutely no trust in whatsoever, especially since so far the only ?assistance? the Shadow Master has provided is to get them to do his dirty work and spend the night sitting out in the cold guarding a shipment of crates for him.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
You have used the past tense in the first sentence - Garrick's realisation - and then used the present - 'Yavana has given' in the second sentence. Is it intentional or is it a discrepancy?
[/quote]

Intentional. The first sentence is talking about how he felt when the time came to pay the gold, the other one is talking about how he feels now.

[quote]
A very good description of the uses Garrick has for the twenty thousand gold. Yes it does seem a bad bargain at first.
[/quote]

[quote]
By the way, he does give you a couple of trinkets - a ring of protection +2 and an amulet of power. There is something to set against the nasty work he gets you into. It is a small thing to weigh against the gold you give, it is true, but something is better than nothing.
[/quote]

True, I'd forgotten that - but probably neither of them went to Garrick, so he wouldn't see it as much consolation.

[quote]
Another thing is that the price is fifteen thousand gold in the game - have you made the alteration to the price?
[/quote]

I thought I'd keep it at twenty, so that it would annoy Garrick more :lol:. I didn't want to bother explaining why the price had dropped from when I mentioned it in previous chapters.

[quote]
[quote]The whole conflict scares him. All the rumours and stories he has heard about the Shadow Thieves have spoken of a powerful society which no one in their right minds would risk crossing. Being involved in them in any way, even as their supposed allies, makes him feel decidedly uneasy. And the prospect of having to fight Bodhi is an even scarier one?[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
'being involved in them' - should it not be 'being involved with them'?
[/quote]

Yes, it should. Thanks.

[quote]
Yes it is a real catch-22 situation there.
[/quote]

indeed.

[quote]
[quote]The only good thing about the Shadow Thieves as Garrick sees it is that at least they are living people, not vampires. Of late, as the guild war has escalated, street fights between the rival guild members have become more and more frequent, and he has seen some of the bodies of thieves killed in these encounters ? pale, dried up corpses, drained of blood and with their faces frozen in expressions of terror. Since having her offer an alliance turned down by Yavana. Bodhi appears to have decided that there is little point in hiding what she is, and that fear is her best weapon ? and so far it has worked. More Shadow Thieves desert every day, and morale did not seem high in the thief headquarters. The guild war is tipping the vampires? way.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Well, Bodhi had decided that fear is the weapon she preferred even before the PC decides which side to join - you get to be part of her terror gang if you join her and you are the victim if you choose to join against her.
[/quote]

I meant more that she is using fear as a weapon against the whole city - she no longer cares if people know that she's a vampire, she just trusts that no one will be brave enough to try to stop her.

[quote]
But for the PC, I believe that the war would go the Vampires' way. You have given a good bird-eye view of the guild war.
[/quote]

Yes, I think the vampires do have the advantage.

[quote]
[quote]He decides that perhaps a good distraction would be to concentrate on the more imminent danger ? he could get his first experience of fighting vampires at any minute, should Bodhi make an attempt to seize the crates. Sunrise is not far off though, and he is beginning to hope that they might make it through the night without trouble. He supposes he should be making more of an effort to keep watch, but he cannot see far in the flickering lantern light ? it is hard enough to make out the forms of his comrades around him.[/quote]
[/quote]

[quote]
Hey that idea of guards was excellent and perfectly true. Guards are usually asleep on their feet - I speak from personal experience - and humans are not meant or good for guard duty.
[/quote]

I've never done it myself - but I can imagine it would be very easy to get bored and let your attention drift or fall asleep.

[quote]
[quote]He glances again at Yavana, and scowls. He has barely spoken with her since she has become involved with the tiefling ? he knows he should, but he has no idea what he should say. He cannot quite put his confrontation with Jaheira out of his head ? he wants to believe that the druid was wrong, that she didn?t know what she was talking about, but every time he thinks he has convinced himself of this the doubts begin to worm their way back into his head, and before long he is back where he started.[/quote]
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[quote]
Jealousy? Poor Garrick. He cannot muster enough courage to talk to his 'beloved'?
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Nope - not since Jaheira's chat with him in the previous chapter.

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[quote]It is easier just to put off talking to her, to keep on telling himself that he?ll do it tomorrow. At least if he ends up as a vampire?s dinner it will save him from having to make some effort to sort out his life. He wonders vaguely how much worse things would have to get before he would seriously begin to consider death as a preferable alternative to living ? he can?t really imagine feeling that way, at least not whilst sober, but of late it is getting harder and harder to get much enjoyment out of his life?[/quote]
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[quote]
Humans seem to contemplate death more easily than acting on such impulses, mercifully. Is he so desperate that he would welcome death?
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Not when he's in a rational frame of mind - but I did mention in the first chapter that he attempted suicide whilst drunk once.

[quote]
[quote]?And who are you, my hound, to claim acquaintance with us so boldly?? Haer?Dalis steps forward challengingly towards the stranger, his twin blades glowing slightly in his hands, and for once Garrick is more than happy to let Haer take control of the situation.[/quote]
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[quote]
Interesting to see that Haer calls the vampire 'hound'. I thought it would be 'bat' keeping in line with his avian metaphors.
[/quote]

Heh, maybe - but he does use 'hound' in the game as well, usually for people he doesn't like.

[quote]
He shakes his head to try to clear it a little, feeling dazed and confused and not entirely comprehending what is going on. He is tired and aching, and the back of his head throbs painfully. He slumps to the ground, slowly unclenching cramped fingers from his sword hilt and dropping the weapon to the ground. He closes his eyes and leans back, not quite able to believe that it is over, that he is still alive.[/quote]
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[quote]
Nice battle scene.
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Thanks :lol: .

[quote]
He has still not been able to stop thinking about this by the evening of the next day, when after spending most of the day abed they are sitting in the common room of the Mithrest eating a rather late breakfast. Sooner or later the Shadow Master is going to order to them to destroy Bodhi and her guild, and just the thought of that makes him feel sick. He has never been this scared before, and he has no idea how he is going to deal with his fear. But deal with it he must ? in the past there have been times when he has lost his nerve, has let his friends down because his courage failed him, and he is determined not to let that happen again. He doesn?t think he could live with himself if it did.
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[quote]
Nice resolution of the chapter. Garrick coming to terms with his fear and trying to deal with it.
Very good chapter.[/quote]

Thanks for commenting :)




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