Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 4.7.

Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 4.7.

After waking up amongst the piles of vampire body parts, I limp back through the tunnels we came here. I seem to remember that Jaheira and Imoen retreated backwards before I went berserk, even though I avoid looking at the bodies on the floor, the few glimpses I catch tell me that none of my friends have been harmed by my rage. Though, I have no doubts that they would have been, had they stayed there for a moment longer… I also remember Bodhi fleeing from the scene, throwing her underlings at my mercy…

I hear quiet whispers coming from one of the more secluded rooms along the hallway. I move closer and stand still, trying to pick out the voices.

“Hush, child, you are babbling nonsense,” I hear Jaheira speaking in her most calming and soothing voice, “I am sure that he will be alive and well… let us just wait for a moment longer…”

“Jaheira, I am so afraid…” Imoen’s voice is trembling, “Jaheira… you… you have been crying…”

“No, I have not… you are mistaken, child,” Jaheira softly denies the accusation, but all the further discussions stop as they see me silently stepping over the doorway. All three of them look at me without speaking any words at all, but their stares are speaking volumes.

“What exactly happened?” I feel the need to break the accusing silence, “I killed them all, but I do not remember a thing…”

“You… you gave in to the taint…” Jaheira speaks hoarsely, “you became the Slayer…

“Avatar of this Bhaal – a hideous creature, abbil,” Viconia explains, “if not for our quick reaction, we would all have ended up amongst the dead. I don’t mind you teaching our enemies a lesson this way once in a while, but you’d do well to inform me about it beforehand.”

“I… I should have guessed that it will happen,” I speak resolutely, “and I know that Bhaal will try to force me into accepting the taint again and again… my lack of soul, it makes me weak to resist him. I am a walking threat to all of you…”

Suddenly I feel ashamed and guilty and there is nothing else that I want to do than to hide in a dark corner and to be left alone… alone, where I can’t hurt those who I love and care about. As I step over the doorstep to leave them behind, Jaheira exclaims loudly…

“No! Do not act like this, Theodur! He counts on this - you cannot resist him if you try to fight it alone… there will be no reason to resist him! Do not dare to push me away when you need me the most!” she speaks in a pleading voice and I turn around to face her, tears pouring down my face.

“I will not allow you to face this alone,” she speaks vehemently, coming to stand in front of me, “I know that you are worried about me, my safety… do not push me away because of that. With me at your side, at least you have one more reason to fight against the taint… you can fight against it, I know and I trust that you will try and do everything you can… and even if I have to risk my life, ‘tis a risk I will gladly take… losing you would be…”

She embraces me fiercely and her last words are lost as she buries her head in my shoulder… I hold her firmly and open my eyes to look at Imoen, sitting in the corner of the room. She looks at me and then collapses on the ground, weeping silently… Viconia looks at me hesitantly and then crawls closer to Imoen and tentatively puts her arm around the young woman’s shoulder… Viconia looks surprised at the force with which Imoen clings to her, but does not release Imoen from her embrace…

It takes a long time before we have all calmed down enough to continue on our way forward…

 

The challenges continue as we press forward through the maze, coming in form of either tricky riddles or hungry monsters eager to spill our blood. In the end it seems as we have prevailed - we are teleported outside of the asylum, on top of one of the many small towers that stands up from the complex itself. The lone door that is at our disposal, is likely to lead back into the complex and to Irenicus… even though time is of utmost importance, we have not rested properly since Bodhi threw us in this maze and I realize that I feel very exhausted indeed.

The others agree on the necessity of rest and that this place seems to be the safest we have encountered so far. We use some rocks that likely have remained here from the times of the construction of this tower, to barricade the door so that nobody can sneak upon us while we sleep.

Quietly we prepare our bedrolls and despite my worries, Jaheira is seriously inclined to share mine just as if nothing had happened before… while I admire her loyalty and courage, I cannot help but being concerned. I see that Imoen is looking at us, sleeping together, embraced, but her stare is unreadable, filled with conflicting emotions… soon she averts her gaze and I hope that she has fallen asleep.

I wait until Jaheira has fallen asleep, not daring to close my eyes first. After her eyes have closed and her grip on me has eased off, I slowly disengage from her, collect my sleeping gear and move to the opposite corner… I have no idea whether it would be enough to protect them if something was to happen.

 

I awake surrounded by complete darkness, except for a weak ray of light the source of which is somewhere in front of me. I start to move myself in that direction, but my movements feel very weird and… forced, as if it was not me who is moving my body, rather than some outside force.

With agonizing slowness my body moves towards the source of light… it is coming from a room in front of me. Slowly I move towards it through the dark corridor… the objects in the room are starting to become more and more distinct… My gaze however is chained towards the large bed in the middle of the room and I realize that I actually cannot avert my eyes from it, whether I want it or not…

The linen that had seemed so sparklingly white from the corridor, is changing as I move closer towards the room… there are spots on it… spots that grow larger and larger… and in a distinctively horrific color… the red color of blood.

As my feet drag me over the doorstep, with horror I notice that the bed is not empty… indeed there is a body in it… a body so heavily desecrated that I cannot recognize it… just as I notice it, the badly deformed face is starting to transform… into someone that I recognize… someone I… love… her eyes, dead and empty are fixed on me, so accusingly…

I realize that the badly mutilated body belongs to… my lover… opened up and desecrated just like her… her husbands… Never again am I to touch her soft, silky skin, to trace the contours of her beautiful face, never again I will feel her strength as she pushes her body against mine arduously…

I want to cry, but I can’t… just as I cannot close my eyelids or turn away my head, neither can I open my mouth to release the scream of anguish and pain inside me… I am… forced to look at her… everything I loved… cut down and left to rot… I cannot describe the pain I feel, it is strong enough to make me faint, but I cannot even do that… I am crying for whoever is doing this to me to stop, but there is no response…

Just as I have abandoned any hope of release, everything around me fades to black and when my eyes are forced open again, I stand in the same room, but now it is completely empty…

“IT WILL HAPPEN. SOONER OR LATER… YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PROTECT HER.”

“What… what will happen?” I recognize the familiar voice, but am too shocked to manage a meaningful reply.

“YOU WILL LOSE HER. YOUR PUNY MORTAL POWERS WILL NOT BE ENOUGH, SON. KNOW THAT THE CREATURES YOU FACE WILL BECOME EVEN MORE POWERFUL… YOU KNOW THE POWER THAT I CAN GIVE YOU. USE IT TO PROTECT THE ONE YOU LOVE…”

“I don’t believe you… the power you give… I can’t control it – I will hurt her, instead of protecting her…”

“SON, I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO CONTROL IT! THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DIRECT YOUR WRATH ONLY TO YOUR ENEMIES… AND THE ONES YOU LOVE WILL BE GRATEFUL TO YOU…”

“I am not sure…”

“DON’T YOU FEEL ANGRY AT THE EASE OF WHICH SHE CAN BE TAKEN FROM YOU, SON? WOULDN’T YOU WANT TO DIRECT YOUR ANGER TO THE ONES WHO WANT TO TAKE HER FROM YOU? SON, I AM GIVING YOU A TOOL… A TOOL THAT YOU CAN LEARN TO USE AND SHAPE TO YOUR LIKING…”

“What is in it for you, Bhaal?”

“I AM SIMPLY INTERESTED IN YOUR SURVIVAL, SON… YOU ARE STRONG… STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THE POWER THAT I CAN GIVE YOU.”

“And how are you going to teach me how to use and control this power, father?”

“HAHA! IT ALL COMES WITH PRACTICE SON! AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK YOU NEED RIGHT NOW!”

Everything around me fades to black once again and Bhaal’s booming voice in my head is replaced by feminine voices filled with fear and horror… I realize that I have been badly tricked once again and I try my best to get a hold of myself and to oppress the urge to kill that is rising inside me. I do not know how successful my attempts have been, as soon my awareness of what is going on around me disappears completely…

 

As I open my eyes, my gaze is fixed on the pile of rocks we used to barricade ourselves from the evil that may lurk outside. Someone has been working to remove these rocks in order to get out. And… there are traces of blood on the rocks themselves and… a small pool of blood on the ground…

I close my eyes.