Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 4.1.

Rush Of Blood To The Head, part 4.1.

This is the forth day of our voyage and according to Saemon we have been making good progress. I suppose by that he means that we will reach Spellhold before designed time, but Saemon is not going to give any guarantees, of course.

Things have been very quiet so far - in fact I could even say that this trip is slightly boring. There is not much to do on the board of the ship and I am starting to wish I had bought a chessboard to take with me. It was one of my favorite hobbies back at Candlekeep, thanks to the patience of old Tethtoril who spent many hours to beat the rules of the game in my head. I used to spend multiple hours at the chess board between my archery practices – for some unknown reason it seemed to improve my accuracy with the bow.

I remember trying to teach Immy how to play, but it turned out to be a disastrous idea… she had absolutely no interest in it and she could not maintain her attention towards anything longer than a couple of minutes. I gave up on trying very quickly indeed, after being called a boring sourpuss it wasn’t a hard decision to make.

I think I could teach Jaheira – she has the right attitude and the necessary brain power to grasp the idea quickly, Viconia would probably be a good candidate too if she was interested… and they both were familiar with the basics of the game. Yes, they both were witnesses of some extremely bloody battles at the chessboard during our travels around the Sword Coast… the short temper of my opponent, a certain Thaywian Red Wizard always ensured for a chaotic outcome… ugh, he was such a sore looser. Not that I beat him often, though.

Cards are another option, but we had probably played every possible game in the first three days and now the idea seems extremely boring. I am not inclined to get myself involved in card games with some of the Saemon’s rowdy looking bunch – we tend to stay away from those men, who in all honesty look like the dirtiest sort of pirates.

The last resort is some of the books that Saemon has loaned to us - sadly most of them are cookbooks and hold little interest to me. Jaheira was already reading one of them for the second time, but when I asked her if she plans to become a regular housewife anytime soon, she chased me all around the deck and finally whacked me on the head with the aforementioned book. Even though it hurt, I am thankful for the little distraction the incident brought.

Of course with so much free time on our hands, it also means that we both can use it to get to know each other even better… exploring things together can be so much fun, even after all this time together there is so much more to learn. To discover every square inch of her body… to learn of all the places she wishes to be touched… to find out her threshold of pleasure and how to best help her reach it… Too bad our bodies cry for some rest after these satisfying, but tiring exercises…

I feel a bit sorry for Viconia, she is probably feeling quite lonely and annoyed from knowledge of what Jaheira and I both undertake for many hours in our cabin… We try to keep her company as much as we can, but it is clear to me that she is looking for a way to release her energy and tensions in a quite different way than a simple game of cards. And she was stuck with us for this trip as these particular sailors were “the worst kind of surface scum” according to her and much to her disappointment Saemon turned out to be impotent.

On the third day she was actually looking towards me with a seriously suggestive glance and Jaheira was getting slightly worried… I don’t think she would have approved of Viconia’s suggestion, no matter what its content. Luckily, it never came to that as Viconia managed to find another object of attention – Sime. When I passed the doors of Viconia’s cabin this morning, the sounds coming from it suggested that they were both quickly becoming very good friends…

Otherwise, there is not much to do – we try to avoid the crew and for some reason I get the impression that Saemon isn’t exactly looking for our company either. We usually see each other only at the mealtime, speaking of which – the food is adequate, but the cook has a very strange choice of spices, because of the clear overdosing of them every dish tastes the same…

I realize that this would be a great opportunity to talk with Jaheira… to tell her the truth that she already knows deep inside, I am sure of that. Still, it needs to be spoken out and I need to hear that she has forgiven me. I think she already has, in her heart, but… I guess that I lack the courage to find that out.

It would be good to confront her with the truth here, on the ship, where she wouldn’t be able to avoid the talk, trapped like in a cage… but I always stall at my attempts, unable to gather the necessary courage and being too terrified that the end result would not be as I quietly pray for.

And how would I be able to help Immy if Jaheira skewered me on the spot, as soon as I tell everything to her… or if she left me for good moments after the ship is moored at the Brynnlaw harbor? No… I can’t risk that… and Jaheira will be in high spirits after we rescue Immy – there is much more better chance that she might forgive me after that… yes, I will tell her afterwards, I promise…

I hope that Saemon’s prediction of a quick trip holds true – I have a peculiar feeling that things are only going to get harder as we come closer and closer to Spellhold…

 

Saemon says that we will reach Brynnlaw tomorrow by the evening… a day or two and Imoen and I will be reunited again. Or will we?

I lay on the bed in our cabin, this is probably the last night we sleep on the ship. I have finally adjusted to the slight rocking and the rustling of the sails as they fill with the wind has a very pacifying effect - but not this night. The thoughts filled with doubts are starting to resurface… what if?

Imoen. Is she still alive or are all our efforts for naught? If we were to find her already passed away… that would be the end of us. I would not be able to live with that kind of guilt bearing on me and neither could Jaheira.

I fondly regard the body of the sleeping woman beside me, still radiating the contentment of lovemaking… I know that she has been struggling with similar doubts as of late and it must be hard for her as well. At least she has been getting along with Viconia much better as of late - maybe this little fling with Sime has put Vic in a better mood… When I descended to have breakfast this morning, I saw the three of them sitting at our table and giggling like I would expect from Imoen, not from Jaheira or Viconia.

And I keep wondering on the topic of their talk… I am not sure, as I do not eavesdrop, but I suspect – Jaheira’s proposition to try something different this evening because she “happened to have an idea”… I wonder to whom this idea actually belongs – though I am not complaining about anything, of course.

Perhaps due to my intense staring in her sleeping face, she opens her eyes and looks at me – I realize that she actually hasn’t been sleeping all this time.

“Why are you not sleeping?” she asks me quietly.

“I could ask you the same,” I reply, but in the same time I realize that these were not the words I wanted to say…

“Well, at least I was trying to get some sleep, but from how you were looking at me, I thought you had something else in mind,” she tries to cover her concern behind a badly hidden sarcasm.

“I… I don’t know why… but now I realize that I actually need to talk with you…”

“It is worrying you that much, is it not? I have noticed the change in you as we have been getting closer and closer to that place… you must not pretend that you have no doubts or worries, it is only natural,” she speaks, stroking my chest softly with her hand.

“I am… afraid,” I whisper quietly, “of what we might find in there… what if…”

I stop myself from pronouncing the words “Imoen is dead” as I do not want to cause more distress in her than I have already done.

“I have a bad feeling, Jaheira – Bodhi, her escape, I wonder where did she go. If what she said is true and Irenicus is her brother, she might be here. And she might be here first to free him and…”

“…and they might be luring us into a trap,” Jaheira finishes for me, “you also worry about Imoen very much, do you not? Yes, I know you do – so do I… I worry about her, I could never imagined missing her so much and I did not spent my whole childhood with her…”

“I am also worried because of what Aran said – they have lost all contacts with the isle… Irenicus might have already broken out of his imprisonment, I know that he has the power to do so and… and perhaps he is not even here anymore, maybe he has taken Imoen somewhere else and we have came all this way and wasted all this money for nothing…” the words flow out of my mouth without much thinking, as I allow my darkest doubts to leave me in hopes of gaining some relief.

“Theodur… Theodur, STOP!” Jaheira almost screams as she grabs my shoulders and shakes me fiercely, I realize that I have spoken out aloud her own doubts…

“Everything will work out well, I know it,” she pulls me closer and wraps her hands around my neck, “we will get her back alive and well… I know it,” she repeats.

Neither of us actually believes that and somehow I do not feel much easier after this conversation… I reach closer to kiss her forehead and we both resume our futile quest in search for some droplets of sleep this night.