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#1 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 19 August 2003 - 10:28 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


“Are you talking to me?” Talek looked at the source of the voice. A strongly built farmer, with a flushed face had risen from his chair and was staring at Imoen and Talek angrily.

“Ye see any others of yer kind in here?” The man sneered.

“What do you mean ‘your kind’?” Talek gritted his teeth, ignoring Imoen’s pleading look. Montaron noticed the exchange and sough a discrete spot to keep an eye on the situation.

“Adventurers of course.” The man spoke the word with acid on his tongue. “Ye come in a town like ye own it, spread yer foolish tales and cause nothing but trouble.”

“You tell them Marl.” The man’s companion on the table added.

Talek seemed slightly surprised at the unexpected insult, so Imoen flashed a smile and took over the conversation. “Aw come on. We’ve only left our home a few days ago, so we don’t have any tales to spread. And we really weren’t planning to start any trouble, honest.”

The farmer seemed taken aback by Imoen’s reaction, but the hostility didn’t leave his face. “You just keep quiet. It was a snake tongued pretty face like you who got my son killed.”

“Don’t talk about Imoen like that, you old coot.” Talek’s anger flared again.

“You gonna tell me what to do, pup?” The man matched Talek’s glare. “I don’t need to take orders from someone who’s never done a day of honest work in his life.”

Talek stepped closer. “You calling me a criminal?” Behind him Imoen’s voices was trying to calm him down. The bar was going quiet and people were edging away as they stared at the argument.

“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.

“What the hell do you know about murderers, you senile bastard.”

“Yer sort murdered my only boy.” The man’s voice broke. “Ye wouldn’t understand. People like ye care about nothing else but gold and glory.”

Talek’s anger fully erupted now. Getting close to the man’s face he snarled. “With a father like YOU, it would have been a mercy kill.”

“WHAT?” Marl now grabbed the younger man by the front of the tunic. “If my son was like you, I’d have thrown him out of my house myself. Probably what happened to...”

The sentence ended abruptly when Talek’s fist connected with the man’s jaw. The punch threw the man on a nearby table, the drinks on it spilling over him.

Talek looked at the fallen farmer. “And stay down, you freaking waste of breath.” He snapped, clearly still angry.

Imoen was just preparing to usher Talek out of the inn when she heard the noise of someone getting up. With some blood seeping out of his mouth were his teeth had pierced his lip he glared up at the snarling fighter.

“You think you can just come here, insulting me, punching in my own town, in my own inn?” He drew a short sword as he got up. “You’ve got another thing coming!”

“Marl, NO! Don’t be stupid” The farmer’s companion exclaimed. Talek just snarled as he drew his own sword. Marl came at him with more bravery then skill, his defence full of holes. Talek had his sword in position.

Imoen yelled. “Talek, try not to....”

Talek’s arm moved twice.

“... kill him.”

Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.

“Old fool.” He rested the sword on his shoulder, ignoring the bloodstains it made on the tunic.

“You... you killed him.” Marl’s friend stuttered. Talek’s eyes focused on him. “Murderer!”

In an instant Talek was upon the weaker farmer, holding him by the front of his tunic. “Murderer? I’m a murderer? Your ‘friend’ was the one who drew a sword on me! I just defended myself!” The farmer didn’t say anything, looking terrified. Talek still carried his sword.

Imoen appeared behind him. “Talek.... calm down. And put your sword down. Let’s... get out of here.”

“Why?” Talek dropped the man, who scurried away, and looked at the townspeople expectantly. “We never did anything wrong, right? He attacked me.” He looked at the patrons, who were staring accusingly at him. “Right?” No sound.

“Let’s go boy, nothing to gain here.” Montaron looked nervously at the door.

“But...”

“Talek.... let’s go.” Imoen put her hand on his shoulder. Talek gave the accusing villagers one last look, made a disgusted noise in his throat and stomped outside angrily, followed by Montaron and Imoen.

“Stupid, orc-spawned bunch of judgmental idiots.” He exclaimed against the sound of the still raging storm.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re just here for one night. Doesn’t matter what they think of you.” Imoen comforted him.

“She’s got the right of it.” Montaron added. His mood seemed to have improved. “Besides, yer little show at least got us something.” He produced some more purses with silver. “A real high class inn, that’s what Feldepost is. There’s even some gold in these sweeties.” Imoen rolled her eyes, Talek’s anger seemed to cool down because of the small vengeance.

Montaron continued. “Ah well, I think this is plenty of money for one night. Best we get back to our beds I say.”

“Goodday sirs and madam, I have a pretty proposal for you.” A voice sounded, as a young, naive looking man, dressed in cheap clothes made to look expensive and a lute by his side suddenly walked towards them and bowed theatrically.

“We’re not interested.” Montaron said, trying to pass the boy that was blocking the road.

“I beseech you to reconsider.” the boy added, looking very happy with the word ‘beseech’, while he was acting overly distressed. “My mistress is in great peril tonight. She needs assistance and time is of the essence.”

“Told ye, not interested.” Montaron snarled, but was contradicted by Imoen.

“What’s your mistress’ problem?” She asked.

The boy made an elaborate bow again. “I thank you for your indulgence. I am Garrick, apprentice. to the wonderful and legendary thespian Silke for over... well gosh... three days now. But it’s been an impressive three days.” Montaron made an impatient sound. “Anyway, Silke refused to demonstrate her amazing skills in Feldpost’s inn, and now he’s sent thugs after her!”

“Feldpost? The inn we just left?” Talek’s eyes lit up and his hand went to his sword. “Show me those thugs. I’ll deal with them.”

“It sounds like she needs our help then.” Imoen added.

“Hey, aren’t ye listening?” Montaron was starting to sound pissed.

“Look Montaron.” Imoen placed her hands in her side. “We’ve followed you for a while, now we’re gonna do what WE want for a moment, right Talek?”

“Hah, looking at me like I’m scum while they’re sending thugs. Bloody hypocritical bastards.” Talek wasn’t really paying attention to their discussion.

“First the fool woman’s bloody ring, now this? Ye’ve got some kind of death wish that you’re getting into other people’s trouble for no good reason, girl?”

Imoen didn’t answer but just met Montaron’s stare till the halfling looked away with a dark scowl. “Ye’ll get us all killed yet girl, I swear.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention. Silke offered three hundred gold pieces as a reward. Hah, slipped my mind.”

Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”

The bard led them to a deserted street, where a woman was standing. She was dressed in clothes that looked grand and awesome on first sight, but were clearly cheap and low quality.

“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”

“I’m NOT his sweetheart.” Imoen protested.

“She’s like my sister!” Talek added.

“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”

“Ah... yes. Well, Garrick has explained you about the horrible crime Feldepost commits against my art, has he not?”

“Yes Silke, I told them everything, just as you told me.”

“Very good Garrick. Now, you should also know that Feldpost has sent an enchanter after me, who can twist the hearts of the wisest men with but a few words, innocent as they might seem. You must be ready to strike him down when the moment comes brave warriors.”

“I’m not afraid of some wizard. I’ll show those Feldpost bastards their ‘adventurer.’” Talek grinned. His hand rested on his sword.

Montaron gave Silke a knowing smirk and nodded. “I don’t think we’ve got anything to fear.”

Imoen sounded suspicious. “What.... exactly do you mean. How do they...”

“Hush, my defenders, the enemy is upon us.” Silke shut Imoen off with a gesture as three men came towards them. Talek held his sword tensely, Montaron casually grabbed a bolt from his quiver. Imoen hesitantly reached for an arrow, a doubtful look on her face.

“Hey Silke,” The three men looked nervous, the short swords at their belt not relieving that at all. “no need for the guards. We weren’t planning anything dirty.” The man smiled weakly as he looked at Talek.

“Your veiled threats will not succeed this time cur.” Silke said “Tell Feldpost I am protected now.”

“Feldpo... what are you talking about? We nicked the jewe...”

“Now, now! Kill them now!”

Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.

“Talek, NO!”

“Huh?” Talek stopped in mid-swing, a smile still on his face. The third man had gone pale and was edging away from the fighter. He was just opening his mouth to scream when a crossbow bolt buried itself between his ribs and he sunk to the ground.

“Well done warriors you have...”

“Those were NOT enchanters! He wasn’t using any magic!”

Silke gave Imoen a patronising smile. “Oh girl, with magic, things aren’t as simple as they seem. I could tell you...”

“I’ve STUDIED magic. And I know that anyone who can charm people without actually saying magic words or using magical items wouldn’t work in a place like this.” Her face was getting flushed in anger. “You just USED us for your dirty work. You... murderer!”

The words still sounded through the empty street, mixing with the sound of the falling rain when Silke slapped Imoen across the face.

“How dare you, you little bitch?”

Talek had been staring in confusion at the going-ons up till then. When Silke attacked Imoen he immediately reacted. His empty left hand clenched and shot forward. There was a breaking sound and Silke landed in a puddle, blood starting to leave her broken nose.

“Don’t you EVER hit Imoen!” he snarled.

“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.

“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”

“Silke... she was... I swear I didn’t know. You gotta believe me.” Garrick panicked. His face was pale “I didn’t know Silke was so... evil.”

“Right, right.” Montaron said disinterested. “Whatever. I believe ye. But the villagers might not. So I think it’s in all of our best interest if ye just... forget what happened here. Everyone’s dead, no need to get the Fist involved. Might be wise to leave the town since everyone knows ye were with her. As in, tonight.” The pale bard nodded, attempted an elaborate bow but failed and hurried off.

Imoen had still been holding her cheek in shock. Talek looked at her with a concerned expression. “Hey Immy, you alright?”

“You knew. Montaron, you KNEW this was going to happen.” She pointed a finger accusingly at Montaron, who was cheerfully removing a heavy purse from Silke’s body.

“Heh, I knew you were a sharp one from day one. Bit more experience and ye’ll get far.” He gave her a wolfish grin.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you shoot the last one?” Imoen demanded. Anger was flaring in her eyes.

Montaron snapped back. “Oh, so now I’ve got to be the wise old guide eh? You agreed to this job, YOU take the responsibility, speaking of which.” He tossed her the purse. “She had 500 gold with her. That can buy some nice gear. Good thing the two of ye distracted her. Could have been troublesome if she got the drop on us. I’d have settled for the 300, but I’m not complaining.” The smile returned.

“I didn’t...” Imoen started “Don’t change the subject. You killed that last one!”

“What? You wanted me to let him run off and wake up the whole town while short fuse there has just killed his two buddies AND some fool farmer in the inn?” he pointed at Talek. “If life gives ye goodberries, make berry-juice. And what are you worryin about? Silke here was a murderer, ye said it yerself. And the dead trio here were nicking gems from their employer to sell them to her. Ye play with fire, ye get burned. As it is we’ve got the gold, the gems” he extracted a bag with jewels from one of the corpses’ clothes. “and nothing tying us to it. If they actually bother putting some Fists on the case, they’ll just go after the fool bard. Mask burn me, this is the best job I’ve had up till now.”

“It wasn’t what I wanted.” Imoen looked sadly at Talek, who was cleaning his sword on Silke’s clothes, having lost interest in the discussion she and Montaron had as soon as it was clear she wasn’t hurt.

“If ye can’t get what ye want, ye gotta want what ye get. Now let’s look for a bar. This amount of gold calls for a drink.” He looked at Talek “One drink. Ye’re a handful enough while sober.”

“Bah” Talek shrugged before turning to Imoen “Don’t worry, Im. I’m sure we’ll help some people for real next time.”

Imoen stared at the corpses. and just nodded.

“Come on Imoen. Cheer up.” Talek sounded concerned. “I’m supposed to be the one that stays pissed off at people.”

Imoen smiled a little. “It’s okay Talek. I just feel sorry for those poor buggers.”

Talek shrugged. “Hey, you did your best. And me, well, everybody knows I’m not the best at figuring stuff like this out. And at least we made sure Silke didn’t get away with it. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

“You’re probably right. Let’s get something hot to drink and then go to bed.” Imoen yawned. “I’m tired, my cloak is soaked and it’s getting colder.”

“Right, just some hot milk with honey.” Talek licked his lips. “And then back to bed. Sounds good.”

Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.

“Hey, me lad.” He asked in a gruff voice.

“Huh, yeah?” Talek answered, after looking over the dwarf’s head in confusion a few times.

“Fortune doesn’t have it ye be Talek, would it?”

Talek smiled. “That’s me. Talek Gorionson.”

“Thought ya might be. Well, it nay be anything personal.” With those words the dwarf brought back his axe to strike. Talek’s reflexes kicked in and he drew his sword and moved back to dodge the blow, but the dwarf’s reach was too great. An arrow Imoen sent through the smoky air hit the dwarf in the face though, piercing his cheek and distracting the attacker long enough for Talek to narrowly avoid the blow.

“Another assassin? I’m gonna make you eat that bloody axe with your beard as seasoning!” Talek’s blow landed on the dwarf’s shield, and he had to rush to parry the next incoming blow. The dwarf tried to say something but Imoen’s arrow prohibited him to talk. It was clear though that Talek was at a disadvantage. The dwarf was armoured and fit, while Talek was tired, and unused to defensive fighting against an axe. Imoen kept her bow ready, waiting for a chance to let loose another arrow, but the two fighters were up too close. Then suddenly the dwarf cried out in pain.

Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.

It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.

“MONTARON!” Talek roared “ASSHOLE!” As the dwarf turned to face his original opponent, slowly because of the wounds, Talek’s blade found his mouth, cutting Imoen’s arrow in two as it dug deep. Talek’s smile didn’t reach his lips this time, only the slightest flicker of satisfaction in his eyes as the dwarf slid of his sword. Imoen came running.

“Talek, are you alright? Is Montaron...”

Talek shook his head. “Don’t know. Montaron, Montaron, are you okay?”

Montaron’s eyes shot open, a grimace of pain on his mouth. “I got...hit in my belly by an axe. Of course... not... get me some healing.” He groaned. “I knew...I should have.... bought new...healing potions.” His eyes closed, his breathing clearly laboured.

“Oh shit, oh shit.” Talek rose from the ground. “Does anyone have healing potions? Anyone?” No reaction.

“Talek... quick... Jaheira. She’ll be able to heal him.” Imoen said.

Talek nodded, sheathed his sword and carefully cradled the halfling in his arms, then ran back into the storm. It seemed to have intensified again, lightning cracking the sky once more. Suddenly Imoen stopped. 5 figures were blocking the road, one of them limping, but all of them carrying weapons.

“Hey Roy, these the guys that did that to you?”

The cripple guy nodded. “Yeah, the halfling and the long-haired guy especially. Shit, this hurts.”

“Looks like someone beat us to the halfling.” A laughing voice said. Imoen readied her bow.

“Don’t do anything stupid, pretty face. Just walk away. We’re gentlemen, unlike Roy here.” More laughter.

“Imoen, you take Montaron to Jaheira. I’ll deal with them.” Talek gave Montaron to Imoen before drawing his sword. Imoen looked surprised that Talek had thought of the suggestion, but nodded.

“It’s me you want, isn’t it bastards. Let her pass!”

Roy tried to say something, but the leader of the gang waved it away. “If the halfling survives, we’ll get to him later.” Two of the armed men moved apart to let Imoen through. “I want to deal with the long-haired sissy here.”

Roy hissed though his teeth. “You’ll pay for that boot in my back you dead man.”

The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.

“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling

#2 Guest_Bjorn_*

Posted 19 August 2003 - 11:40 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I'd have thought a disclaimer at the top would definitely be in order if you want him to use that sort of language. But personally I think the actual words used don't matter so much as the implied tone of them - for example in the game Korgan never actually uses any particularly bad language in his dialogue, but this doesn't make him seem any softer as a character.

So my advice would be to try to get across that Talek is the kind of guy who would use the f-word in real life, but not to have him actually say it in the story, if you see what I mean.

“Don’t talk about Imoen like that, you old coot.” Talek’s anger flared again.


:lol: So much for trying to avoid a fight, then.

Regarding the swearing thing: I think you can definitely get away with using stronger language than 'coot', but there's quite a big gap between coot and potentially offensive language - maybe aim for somewhere in the middle :wink:

Talek stepped closer. “You calling me a criminal?” Behind him Imoen’s voices was trying to calm him down. The bar was going quiet and people were edging away as they stared at the argument.


Well, he is out helping Monty rob people...

“What the hell do you know about murderers, you senile bastard.”


Regarding the swearing thing again, I think 'senile bastard' sounds fine here - no real need for stronger language.

Talek’s anger fully erupted now. Getting close to the man’s face he snarled. “With a father like YOU, it would have been a mercy kill.”


Oh dear. Looks like Talek isn't in a sympathetic mood.

“WHAT?” Marl now grabbed the younger man by the front of the tunic. “If my son was like you, I’d have thrown him out of my house myself. Probably what happened to...”


Oops, that is decidedly not the right thing to say to Talek right now.

“Why?” Talek dropped the man, who scurried away, and looked at the townspeople expectantly. “We never did anything wrong, right? He attacked me.” He looked at the patrons, who were staring accusingly at him. “Right?” No sound.


Guess you can't really blame talek for defending himself, although I'm sure Jaheira will have a thing or too to say about this if she hears of it.

Montaron continued. “Ah well, I think this is plenty of money for one night. Best we get back to our beds I say.”


before Jaheira realises you're not in them...

“I beseech you to reconsider.” the boy added, looking very happy with the word ‘beseech’, while he was acting overly distressed. “My mistress is in great peril tonight. She needs assistance and time is of the essence.”


Aw, I like Garrick. Hope nothing too bad happens to him...

“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”


LOL!

Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


:) He's a bit too skilled with the sword for his own good, it seems.

Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Oh dear - it really isn't talek's night.

“Fortune doesn’t have it ye be Talek, would it?”


Talek smiled. “That’s me. Talek Gorionson.”


:lol: That's a habit you need to lose fast, talek.

“Thought ya might be. Well, it nay be anything personal.” With those words the dwarf brought back his axe to strike. Talek’s reflexes kicked in and he drew his sword and moved back to dodge the blow, but the dwarf’s reach was too great. An arrow Imoen sent through the smoky air hit the dwarf in the face though, piercing his cheek and distracting the attacker long enough for Talek to narrowly avoid the blow.


Ok Talek, this is one guy you can kill with no moral dilemmas whatsoever.

Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.


It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.


Eep! Doesn't do to gloat too early, Monty.

“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


:D I think Jaheira and Khalid need to act fast and have some long talks with Talek.

Nice chapter :)

#3 Laufey

Posted 20 August 2003 - 04:34 AM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I don't think there was ever a formal policy, except the PG-13 guideline. Yet another thing to discuss for the CoC I think. Personally I think it's OK to use the occasional swear word within a story, though not in non-story comments, and that it's better to keep them to a minimum.


Talek seemed slightly surprised at the unexpected insult, so Imoen flashed a smile and took over the conversation. “Aw come on. We’ve only left our home a few days ago, so we don’t have any tales to spread. And we really weren’t planning to start any trouble, honest.”


The farmer seemed taken aback by Imoen’s reaction, but the hostility didn’t leave his face. “You just keep quiet. It was a snake tongued pretty face like you who got my son killed.”


I think his life expectancy isn't very good right now.


Talek looked at the fallen farmer. “And stay down, you freaking waste of breath.” He snapped, clearly still angry.


Imoen was just preparing to usher Talek out of the inn when she heard the noise of someone getting up. With some blood seeping out of his mouth were his teeth had pierced his lip he glared up at the snarling fighter.


That 'he' almost sounds as if it refers back to Talek. I'd suggest replacing it with 'Marl glared up'

“You think you can just come here, insulting me, punching in my own town, in my own inn?” He drew a short sword as he got up. “You’ve got another thing coming!”



In an instant Talek was upon the weaker farmer, holding him by the front of his tunic. “Murderer? I’m a murderer? Your ‘friend’ was the one who drew a sword on me! I just defended myself!” The farmer didn’t say anything, looking terrified. Talek still carried his sword.


I agree with him, actually. It was self defence.


The boy made an elaborate bow again. “I thank you for your indulgence. I am Garrick, apprentice. to the wonderful and legendary thespian Silke for over... well gosh... three days now. But it’s been an impressive three days.” Montaron made an impatient sound. “Anyway, Silke refused to demonstrate her amazing skills in Feldpost’s inn, and now he’s sent thugs after her!”


Riiiight. :wink:


“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”


“I’m NOT his sweetheart.” Imoen protested.


“She’s like my sister!” Talek added.


“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”


ROFL! I loved this exchange. :lol:


Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


I thought that would happen, considering how impatient Talek is.


“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.


“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”


:lol:


“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you shoot the last one?” Imoen demanded. Anger was flaring in her eyes.


Montaron snapped back. “Oh, so now I’ve got to be the wise old guide eh? You agreed to this job, YOU take the responsibility, speaking of which.” He tossed her the purse. “She had 500 gold with her. That can buy some nice gear. Good thing the two of ye distracted her. Could have been troublesome if she got the drop on us. I’d have settled for the 300, but I’m not complaining.” The smile returned.


Ah, how cynical. :)


“It wasn’t what I wanted.” Imoen looked sadly at Talek, who was cleaning his sword on Silke’s clothes, having lost interest in the discussion she and Montaron had as soon as it was clear she wasn’t hurt.


Yep, he isn't much for moral discussions, is he? :)


Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Oh great. Next one...



Roy hissed though his teeth. “You’ll pay for that boot in my back you dead man.”


The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


Oh dear...I rather think he will too.
Rogues do it from behind.

#4 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 10:32 AM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I'd have thought a disclaimer at the top would definitely be in order if you want him to use that sort of language. But personally I think the actual words used don't matter so much as the implied tone of them - for example in the game Korgan never actually uses any particularly bad language in his dialogue, but this doesn't make him seem any softer as a character.

So my advice would be to try to get across that Talek is the kind of guy who would use the f-word in real life, but not to have him actually say it in the story, if you see what I mean.


Right, I think I can do that. Problem of course is that I can't pull an Edwin and make Talek say something like 'I wish you would return to have carnal relations with your maternal figure.' (he's answer with 'huh' if you said that to him. he just says.... well, you know the word. But hey... creative swearing with limited vocabulary is an art too ain't it?


“Don’t talk about Imoen like that, you old coot.” Talek’s anger flared again.


:) So much for trying to avoid a fight, then.


Heh, gotta give Imoen props for even trying to keep these two short fuses out of each other's hair.

Regarding the swearing thing: I think you can definitely get away with using stronger language than 'coot', but there's quite a big gap between coot and potentially offensive language - maybe aim for somewhere in the middle :cry:


True... 'relic' perhaps? I don't want to overuse the word 'bastard'


Talek stepped closer. “You calling me a criminal?” Behind him Imoen’s voices was trying to calm him down. The bar was going quiet and people were edging away as they stared at the argument.


Well, he is out helping Monty rob people...


Montaron: Oh yeah, helping... He's yelling across the street "Hey Montaron did you take that guy's money?" With helpers like that, who needs the Fist?
Talek: Yeah!..... euh... wait a minute.


“What the hell do you know about murderers, you senile bastard.”


Regarding the swearing thing again, I think 'senile bastard' sounds fine here - no real need for stronger language.


Yeah, bastard works, but there has to be variation.


Talek’s anger fully erupted now. Getting close to the man’s face he snarled. “With a father like YOU, it would have been a mercy kill.”


Oh dear. Looks like Talek isn't in a sympathetic mood.


Hasn't been sympathetic except to a select few in quite some time now.


“WHAT?” Marl now grabbed the younger man by the front of the tunic. “If my son was like you, I’d have thrown him out of my house myself. Probably what happened to...”


Oops, that is decidedly not the right thing to say to Talek right now.


Nope, he's lucky he even got away with a punch there.


“Why?” Talek dropped the man, who scurried away, and looked at the townspeople expectantly. “We never did anything wrong, right? He attacked me.” He looked at the patrons, who were staring accusingly at him. “Right?” No sound.


Guess you can't really blame talek for defending himself, although I'm sure Jaheira will have a thing or too to say about this if she hears of it.


Heh, and the night has just begun.


Montaron continued. “Ah well, I think this is plenty of money for one night. Best we get back to our beds I say.”


before Jaheira realises you're not in them...


Don't think Montaron is really afraid of Jaheira. (utter fool!) But he needs sleep doesn't he?


“I beseech you to reconsider.” the boy added, looking very happy with the word ‘beseech’, while he was acting overly distressed. “My mistress is in great peril tonight. She needs assistance and time is of the essence.”


Aw, I like Garrick. Hope nothing too bad happens to him...


Nothing TOO bad.


“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”


LOL!


Heh, Montaron does his part against stereotypes.


Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


;) He's a bit too skilled with the sword for his own good, it seems.


Yep, ;) and a bit too eager too.


Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Oh dear - it really isn't talek's night.


Yep, should have stayed in the inn and gotten drunk with Montaron again.


“Fortune doesn’t have it ye be Talek, would it?”


Talek smiled. “That’s me. Talek Gorionson.”


:) That's a habit you need to lose fast, talek.


Talek: What habit?
Montaron: Give it up... just...give it up.


“Thought ya might be. Well, it nay be anything personal.” With those words the dwarf brought back his axe to strike. Talek’s reflexes kicked in and he drew his sword and moved back to dodge the blow, but the dwarf’s reach was too great. An arrow Imoen sent through the smoky air hit the dwarf in the face though, piercing his cheek and distracting the attacker long enough for Talek to narrowly avoid the blow.


Ok Talek, this is one guy you can kill with no moral dilemmas whatsoever.


And feel good about it too.


Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.


It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.


Eep! Doesn't do to gloat too early, Monty.


Montaron: I stabbed the abyss-spawned dwarf twice. Blast these constitution bonuses! Must be their grog-bellies.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


:) I think Jaheira and Khalid need to act fast and have some long talks with Talek.


Yep, of course, they need to find the right words as well.

Nice chapter :D


Thanks. :wink:

#5 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 11:12 AM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I don't think there was ever a formal policy, except the PG-13 guideline. Yet another thing to discuss for the CoC I think. Personally I think it's OK to use the occasional swear word within a story, though not in non-story comments, and that it's better to keep them to a minimum.


Heh, if PG-13 means not to use any words 13 year olds don't use, does that mean I can pretty much go nuts? :cry: And the swearing would mostly be Talek. He's quite a potty mouth, I'm not.



Talek seemed slightly surprised at the unexpected insult, so Imoen flashed a smile and took over the conversation. “Aw come on. We’ve only left our home a few days ago, so we don’t have any tales to spread. And we really weren’t planning to start any trouble, honest.”


The farmer seemed taken aback by Imoen’s reaction, but the hostility didn’t leave his face. “You just keep quiet. It was a snake tongued pretty face like you who got my son killed.”


I think his life expectancy isn't very good right now.


Delta Lloyd wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole.


Talek looked at the fallen farmer. “And stay down, you freaking waste of breath.” He snapped, clearly still angry.


Imoen was just preparing to usher Talek out of the inn when she heard the noise of someone getting up. With some blood seeping out of his mouth were his teeth had pierced his lip he glared up at the snarling fighter.


That 'he' almost sounds as if it refers back to Talek. I'd suggest replacing it with 'Marl glared up'


Whoopsee... right you are. Thanks.


In an instant Talek was upon the weaker farmer, holding him by the front of his tunic. “Murderer? I’m a murderer? Your ‘friend’ was the one who drew a sword on me! I just defended myself!” The farmer didn’t say anything, looking terrified. Talek still carried his sword.


I agree with him, actually. It was self defence.


Yep, of course, complicating matters is that Talek COULD probably have disarmed Marl with little risk. But you can't really ask Talek to take that eh? Of course, had Marl's friend seen Talek's smile....



The boy made an elaborate bow again. “I thank you for your indulgence. I am Garrick, apprentice. to the wonderful and legendary thespian Silke for over... well gosh... three days now. But it’s been an impressive three days.” Montaron made an impatient sound. “Anyway, Silke refused to demonstrate her amazing skills in Feldpost’s inn, and now he’s sent thugs after her!”


Riiiight. :)


Hey, HE believes it.


“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”


“I’m NOT his sweetheart.” Imoen protested.


“She’s like my sister!” Talek added.


“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”


ROFL! I loved this exchange. :D


Heh, thanks. Actually Imoen, Talek and Montaron make a pretty good team I noticed.



Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


I thought that would happen, considering how impatient Talek is.


Yep, act now, think later... if at all. Talek's better at acting then thinking.



“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.


“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”


:)


Everybody loves Montaron. <3



“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you shoot the last one?” Imoen demanded. Anger was flaring in her eyes.


Montaron snapped back. “Oh, so now I’ve got to be the wise old guide eh? You agreed to this job, YOU take the responsibility, speaking of which.” He tossed her the purse. “She had 500 gold with her. That can buy some nice gear. Good thing the two of ye distracted her. Could have been troublesome if she got the drop on us. I’d have settled for the 300, but I’m not complaining.” The smile returned.


Ah, how cynical. :wink:


That's Montaron. I really enjoy writing him, although I am no cynic myself.



“It wasn’t what I wanted.” Imoen looked sadly at Talek, who was cleaning his sword on Silke’s clothes, having lost interest in the discussion she and Montaron had as soon as it was clear she wasn’t hurt.


Yep, he isn't much for moral discussions, is he? ;)


He isn't much for discussions of any kind that do not involve sticking iron pointy objects into other people.


Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Oh great. Next one...


Yep, and for this fic I decided to make them semi-competent.


Roy hissed though his teeth. “You’ll pay for that boot in my back you dead man.”


The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


Oh dear...I rather think he will too.


4 and a half street thug who think they're gonna win because they've got numbers VS one well trained and eager to kill Bhaalspawn? Heh, what makes you think that?

Thanks for the review.

#6 Guest_argan_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 11:20 AM

Great chapter! :cry:

#7 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 11:33 AM

Great chapter! :cry:


Thanks, I keep them in my head for a looong time, so it's always a relief when they're finally black on white.

#8 Guest_Hunter_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 11:35 AM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I don't know, but i don't think that the poeple hare are that sensitive about it.

Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


Oh no.

“Why?” Talek dropped the man, who scurried away, and looked at the townspeople expectantly. “We never did anything wrong, right? He attacked me.” He looked at the patrons, who were staring accusingly at him. “Right?” No sound.


Not quite.

Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”


Just wave a little gold in front of him and he follows blindly :cry:

“I’m not afraid of some wizard. I’ll show those Feldpost bastards their ‘adventurer.’” Talek grinned. His hand rested on his sword.


Not too much between the ears.

Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


Definately not.

“How dare you, you little bitch?”


Wrong decision.

“Oh shit, oh shit.” Talek rose from the ground. “Does anyone have healing potions? Anyone?” No reaction.


“Talek... quick... Jaheira. She’ll be able to heal him.” Imoen said.


Jaheira will not be happy to hear whet they have been doing.

#9 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 11:49 AM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


I don't know, but i don't think that the poeple hare are that sensitive about it.


Right, I'll just hide behind a table when I crossed the line eh? :cry:


Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


Oh no.


Yep, Talek's getting in touch with his inner God.


“Why?” Talek dropped the man, who scurried away, and looked at the townspeople expectantly. “We never did anything wrong, right? He attacked me.” He looked at the patrons, who were staring accusingly at him. “Right?” No sound.


Not quite.


Talek isn't good at subtleties. If the other one fights to kill, HE fights to kill.


Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”


Just wave a little gold in front of him and he follows blindly :)


Yeah well, the one he's following better NOT walk blindly and watch his back really.


“I’m not afraid of some wizard. I’ll show those Feldpost bastards their ‘adventurer.’” Talek grinned. His hand rested on his sword.


Not too much between the ears.


Nope.


Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


Definately not.


Nope indeed.


“How dare you, you little bitch?”


Wrong decision.


very wrong.


“Oh shit, oh shit.” Talek rose from the ground. “Does anyone have healing potions? Anyone?” No reaction.


“Talek... quick... Jaheira. She’ll be able to heal him.” Imoen said.


Jaheira will not be happy to hear whet they have been doing.


Not quite, afraid the 'hot milk and then to bed' option is definately out.

#10 Guest_Theodur_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 12:20 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


Hmm, dunno. I think, I'll agree with Bjorn - do you think you really need to use that word to make Talek more nasty, evil, rude, etc? I think you've been doing very ok, so far, without that use of the F-word.

“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.


Heh, the drunkard speaks words of wisdom, here.

Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


Well, I thought that was murder. Great going, Talek... when you come back to Beregost, those 'WANTED Dead or Alive' leaflets will be on every wall.

“Goodday sirs and madam, I have a pretty proposal for you.” A voice sounded, as a young, naive looking man, dressed in cheap clothes made to look expensive and a lute by his side suddenly walked towards them and bowed theatrically.


It's Garrick The Gullible. :lol:

“Feldpost? The inn we just left?” Talek’s eyes lit up and his hand went to his sword. “Show me those thugs. I’ll deal with them.”


Why not put a fire to Feldepost's inn as well? Would make for nice fireworks and the delightful screams of people burning alive would please daddy, would they not? :wink:

Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”


I bet he would be willing to do much more than just miss his sleep for three hundreds.

“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”


Merry halfling companion? I'm having images of Monty, jumping around in a clown outfit and playing some ridiculous musical instrument, like reedpipe or concertina...

Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


Great going, Talek. I am sorry, but I feel that I am starting to develop a bit of a dislike towards Talek. Hmm, I don't know why, though.

“I’ve STUDIED magic. And I know that anyone who can charm people without actually saying magic words or using magical items wouldn’t work in a place like this.” Her face was getting flushed in anger. “You just USED us for your dirty work. You... murderer!”


Too bad she didn't think a bit quicker.

“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.


Nice backstab, Monty!

“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”


:twisted:

“What? You wanted me to let him run off and wake up the whole town while short fuse there has just killed his two buddies AND some fool farmer in the inn?” he pointed at Talek. “If life gives ye goodberries, make berry-juice. And what are you worryin about? Silke here was a murderer, ye said it yerself. And the dead trio here were nicking gems from their employer to sell them to her. Ye play with fire, ye get burned. As it is we’ve got the gold, the gems” he extracted a bag with jewels from one of the corpses’ clothes. “and nothing tying us to it. If they actually bother putting some Fists on the case, they’ll just go after the fool bard. Mask burn me, this is the best job I’ve had up till now.”


Well, Monty sure can be convincing.

Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Two at the Candlekeep, one at FAI... yes, #4 coming up.

Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.


It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.


Yay! :twisted:

“Imoen, you take Montaron to Jaheira. I’ll deal with them.” Talek gave Montaron to Imoen before drawing his sword. Imoen looked surprised that Talek had thought of the suggestion, but nodded.


I hope Jaheira is all out of healing spells or potions. :(

The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


I feel for the poor thugs. :)

Excellently bloody installment, Rand. :D

#11 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 09:32 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


Hmm, dunno. I think, I'll agree with Bjorn - do you think you really need to use that word to make Talek more nasty, evil, rude, etc? I think you've been doing very ok, so far, without that use of the F-word.


Yeah. It's not like I feel the 'urge' to be 'hardcore' or something. It's just that Talek has to come across as someone of low intelligence, with low culture with a tendency to get pissed off a lot. So his swearing has to be, well, vulgar, without being offending to readers. I had the impression I was keeping him a bit too 'proper' but since everyone here seems to think he's talking scummy enough I'll leave it as it is.


“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.


Heh, the drunkard speaks words of wisdom, here.


Hey, he's talking about adventurers in general. That includes Theodu... wait, never mind.


Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


Well, I thought that was murder. Great going, Talek... when you come back to Beregost, those 'WANTED Dead or Alive' leaflets will be on every wall.


Talek: Hey look Imoen. I'm popular!


“Goodday sirs and madam, I have a pretty proposal for you.” A voice sounded, as a young, naive looking man, dressed in cheap clothes made to look expensive and a lute by his side suddenly walked towards them and bowed theatrically.


It's Garrick The Gullible. :)


The one and only. at least he gets better off then Adrian's Garrick.


“Feldpost? The inn we just left?” Talek’s eyes lit up and his hand went to his sword. “Show me those thugs. I’ll deal with them.”


Why not put a fire to Feldepost's inn as well? Would make for nice fireworks and the delightful screams of people burning alive would please daddy, would they not? :wink:


Talek: Nah, burning isn't my thing. Swords all the.... I mean. What the HELL are you suggesting?


Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”


I bet he would be willing to do much more than just miss his sleep for three hundreds.


Of course, that doesn't have to be a GOOD thing for his employers.


“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”


Merry halfling companion? I'm having images of Monty, jumping around in a clown outfit and playing some ridiculous musical instrument, like reedpipe or concertina...


:lol: Me too now. Thank you, if Montaron seems extra grumpy next installment, it's ALL. YOUR. FAULT.


Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


Great going, Talek. I am sorry, but I feel that I am starting to develop a bit of a dislike towards Talek. Hmm, I don't know why, though.


Heh, he isn't exactly supposed to be everyone's favourite Bhaalspawn. I do write him with low charisma after all. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure whether I want people to hate him or love him.


“I’ve STUDIED magic. And I know that anyone who can charm people without actually saying magic words or using magical items wouldn’t work in a place like this.” Her face was getting flushed in anger. “You just USED us for your dirty work. You... murderer!”


Too bad she didn't think a bit quicker.


A bit blinded by the chance to have Talek receive some gratitude from people.


“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.


Nice backstab, Monty!


Not a stab technically, but I'm sure it was gratifying.


“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”


:twisted:


Ah, Montaron is his usual charming self.


“What? You wanted me to let him run off and wake up the whole town while short fuse there has just killed his two buddies AND some fool farmer in the inn?” he pointed at Talek. “If life gives ye goodberries, make berry-juice. And what are you worryin about? Silke here was a murderer, ye said it yerself. And the dead trio here were nicking gems from their employer to sell them to her. Ye play with fire, ye get burned. As it is we’ve got the gold, the gems” he extracted a bag with jewels from one of the corpses’ clothes. “and nothing tying us to it. If they actually bother putting some Fists on the case, they’ll just go after the fool bard. Mask burn me, this is the best job I’ve had up till now.”


Well, Monty sure can be convincing.


He's not exactly succeding in convincing Imoen though. And talek isn't really listening.


Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Two at the Candlekeep, one at FAI... yes, #4 coming up.


Well, I skipped one of them in Candlekeep. Guess he'll have to wait ALLLLL the way till chapter six.


Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.


It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.


Yay! :twisted:


Don't hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel.


“Imoen, you take Montaron to Jaheira. I’ll deal with them.” Talek gave Montaron to Imoen before drawing his sword. Imoen looked surprised that Talek had thought of the suggestion, but nodded.


I hope Jaheira is all out of healing spells or potions. :D


And if she isn't, she could always CLAIM to be. Wouldn't put it past her to let 'nature take it's course' in this particular instant.


The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


I feel for the poor thugs. :(


They're about to get more then they bargained for.

Excellently bloody installment, Rand. :P


Thanks, and it is rather bloody isn't it? Ah well, still plenty of assassins and monsters to go.

#12 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 20 August 2003 - 09:46 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


Hmm, dunno. I think, I'll agree with Bjorn - do you think you really need to use that word to make Talek more nasty, evil, rude, etc? I think you've been doing very ok, so far, without that use of the F-word.


Yeah. It's not like I feel the 'urge' to be 'hardcore' or something. It's just that Talek has to come across as someone of low intelligence, with low culture with a tendency to get pissed off a lot. So his swearing has to be, well, vulgar, without being offending to readers. I had the impression I was keeping him a bit too 'proper' but since everyone here seems to think he's talking scummy enough I'll leave it as it is.


“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.


Heh, the drunkard speaks words of wisdom, here.


Hey, he's talking about adventurers in general. That includes Theodu... wait, never mind.


Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


Well, I thought that was murder. Great going, Talek... when you come back to Beregost, those 'WANTED Dead or Alive' leaflets will be on every wall.


Talek: Hey look Imoen. I'm popular!


“Goodday sirs and madam, I have a pretty proposal for you.” A voice sounded, as a young, naive looking man, dressed in cheap clothes made to look expensive and a lute by his side suddenly walked towards them and bowed theatrically.


It's Garrick The Gullible. :)


The one and only. at least he gets better off then Adrian's Garrick.


“Feldpost? The inn we just left?” Talek’s eyes lit up and his hand went to his sword. “Show me those thugs. I’ll deal with them.”


Why not put a fire to Feldepost's inn as well? Would make for nice fireworks and the delightful screams of people burning alive would please daddy, would they not? :wink:


Talek: Nah, burning isn't my thing. Swords all the.... I mean. What the HELL are you suggesting?


Montaron gave Garrick a dry stare. “It slipped your mind?” He sighed. “What is it with me that almost all people I meet are fools, idiots or both? Lead the way then. For three hundred gold I’ll miss some more sleep.”


I bet he would be willing to do much more than just miss his sleep for three hundreds.


Of course, that doesn't have to be a GOOD thing for his employers.


“Ah Garrick, I see you’ve brought some champions to defend me. A brave swordsman, his sharp eyed sweetheart archer and their merry halfling companion.”


Merry halfling companion? I'm having images of Monty, jumping around in a clown outfit and playing some ridiculous musical instrument, like reedpipe or concertina...


:lol: Me too now. Thank you, if Montaron seems extra grumpy next installment, it's ALL. YOUR. FAULT.


Imoen panicked only for a moment. But within that time, Talek had uncoiled, and cut down two of the three men with drilled efficiency.


Great going, Talek. I am sorry, but I feel that I am starting to develop a bit of a dislike towards Talek. Hmm, I don't know why, though.


Heh, he isn't exactly supposed to be everyone's favourite Bhaalspawn. I do write him with low charisma after all. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure whether I want people to hate him or love him.


“I’ve STUDIED magic. And I know that anyone who can charm people without actually saying magic words or using magical items wouldn’t work in a place like this.” Her face was getting flushed in anger. “You just USED us for your dirty work. You... murderer!”


Too bad she didn't think a bit quicker.


A bit blinded by the chance to have Talek receive some gratitude from people.


“You... you hit me...?” She raised her hand and opened her mouth, speaking syllables that seemed to echo unnaturally. Then her eyes lost focus as her words ceased abruptly. blood poured over her chest as she slumped sideways with a slit throat. Montaron was standing behind her with a grin and a bloody short sword.


Nice backstab, Monty!


Not a stab technically, but I'm sure it was gratifying.


“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”


:twisted:


Ah, Montaron is his usual charming self.


“What? You wanted me to let him run off and wake up the whole town while short fuse there has just killed his two buddies AND some fool farmer in the inn?” he pointed at Talek. “If life gives ye goodberries, make berry-juice. And what are you worryin about? Silke here was a murderer, ye said it yerself. And the dead trio here were nicking gems from their employer to sell them to her. Ye play with fire, ye get burned. As it is we’ve got the gold, the gems” he extracted a bag with jewels from one of the corpses’ clothes. “and nothing tying us to it. If they actually bother putting some Fists on the case, they’ll just go after the fool bard. Mask burn me, this is the best job I’ve had up till now.”


Well, Monty sure can be convincing.


He's not exactly succeding in convincing Imoen though. And talek isn't really listening.


Following Montaron again the two walked into a nearby pub. Imoen and Montaron sat at a table. Talek headed straight for the bartender when a heavily armoured dwarf suddenly grabbed a piece of parchment and looked at it while examining Talek. Imoen noticed and reached for her bow. When she looked for Montaron she saw he had vanished suddenly. The dwarf got up and from his own chair and headed for Talek, keeping his axe in his hand.


Two at the Candlekeep, one at FAI... yes, #4 coming up.


Well, I skipped one of them in Candlekeep. Guess he'll have to wait ALLLLL the way till chapter six.


Montaron pulled out the sword he had pushed between the cracks in the armour and stabbed again. “Everybody ALWAYS forgets the halfling.” There was a triumphant vicious grin on his face.


It was cut short as the dwarf turned around and struck. The metal of the axe pierced Montaron’s abdomen, causing the halfling to fall to the floor.


Yay! :twisted:


Don't hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel.


“Imoen, you take Montaron to Jaheira. I’ll deal with them.” Talek gave Montaron to Imoen before drawing his sword. Imoen looked surprised that Talek had thought of the suggestion, but nodded.


I hope Jaheira is all out of healing spells or potions. :D


And if she isn't, she could always CLAIM to be. Wouldn't put it past her to let 'nature take it's course' in this particular instant.


The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


I feel for the poor thugs. :(


They're about to get more then they bargained for.

Excellently bloody installment, Rand. :P


Thanks, and it is rather bloody isn't it? Ah well, still plenty of assassins and monsters to go.

#13 Guest_Rene_*

Posted 22 August 2003 - 06:50 PM

[quote] A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.
[/quote]

Heh, my trick is to replace it with "the Nine Hells". So every time you see a character saying N-word in my stories, in the rl they would have went for a harder expression. But I think it is entirely up to you. It certainly will not destroy the charm of the story for me. :lol:

[quote]
“Adventurers of course.” The man spoke the word with acid on his tongue. “Ye come in a town like ye own it, spread yer foolish tales and cause nothing but trouble.”
[/quote]

Ah, that's so sweeet. :D

[quote]
“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.
[/quote]

heh, he is getting better and better

[quote]
“What the hell do you know about murderers, you senile bastard.”
[/quote]

I think that one need a "?" at the end

[quote]
Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.
[/quote]

hot-headed
[quote]
“Don’t worry about it. We’re just here for one night. Doesn’t matter what they think of you.” Imoen comforted him.
[/quote]

Oh, your Imoen is very supportive


[quote]
“I beseech you to reconsider.” the boy added, looking very happy with the word ‘beseech’, while he was acting overly distressed. “My mistress is in great peril tonight. She needs assistance and time is of the essence.”
[/quote]

he sounds like Garrick!

[quote]
The boy made an elaborate bow again. “I thank you for your indulgence. I am Garrick, apprentice. to the wonderful and legendary thespian Silke for over... well gosh... three days now. But it’s been an impressive three days.” Montaron made an impatient sound. “Anyway, Silke refused to demonstrate her amazing skills in Feldpost’s inn, and now he’s sent thugs after her!”
[/quote]

And here he is!

[quote]
“Oh, I forgot to mention. Silke offered three hundred gold pieces as a reward. Hah, slipped my mind.”
[/quote]

Now, that's an incentive.

[quote]
“She’s like my sister!” Talek added.
[/quote]

[quote]
“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”
[/quote]

lol!


[quote]
“Those were NOT enchanters! He wasn’t using any magic!”
[/quote]

Very observant


[quote]
“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”
[/quote]
I can imagine that :)

[quote]
Imoen smiled a little. “It’s okay Talek. I just feel sorry for those poor buggers.”
[/quote]

yes, very supportive. I'd say even overly supportive.

[quote]
“Thought ya might be. Well, it nay be anything personal.” With those words the dwarf brought back his axe to strike. Talek’s reflexes kicked in and he drew his sword and moved back to dodge the blow, but the dwarf’s reach was too great. An arrow Imoen sent through the smoky air hit the dwarf in the face though, piercing his cheek and distracting the attacker long enough for Talek to narrowly avoid the blow.
[/quote]

Mine, that's one eventful stay!

[/quote]

[quote]
“Talek... quick... Jaheira. She’ll be able to heal him.” Imoen said.
[/quote]

[quote]
Talek nodded, sheathed his sword and carefully cradled the halfling in his arms, then ran back into the storm. It seemed to have intensified again, lightning cracking the sky once more. Suddenly Imoen stopped. 5 figures were blocking the road, one of them limping, but all of them carrying weapons.
[/quote]

[quote]
The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.
[/quote]

[quote]
“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling[/quote]

Maybe "He was smiling."

Interesting account of the events.

#14 Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*

Posted 24 August 2003 - 10:07 PM

A bit longer then usual. Also. What is the policy on swearing on the Attic really? Is the F-word permitted? Cause I feel a bit... restricted when I'm having Talek swear.


Heh, my trick is to replace it with "the Nine Hells". So every time you see a character saying N-word in my stories, in the rl they would have went for a harder expression. But I think it is entirely up to you. It certainly will not destroy the charm of the story for me. :)


Thanks. I think I'll work my way around it for now.


“Adventurers of course.” The man spoke the word with acid on his tongue. “Ye come in a town like ye own it, spread yer foolish tales and cause nothing but trouble.”


Ah, that's so sweeet. :)


:lol:


“If the shoe fits, wear it. Wouldn’t surprise me. All ye good for nothings are one step away from murderers and the like anyway.” Marl stepped forward as well.


heh, he is getting better and better


Yep, it seems Marl is just asking for Talek to kill him, no?


“What the hell do you know about murderers, you senile bastard.”


I think that one need a "?" at the end


Indeed it does. Thanks.


Marl fell down forward, one cut across his throat and one across his abdomen, and landed at Talek’s feet. All eyes were at the fallen farmer, except Imoen and Montaron who looked at Talek’s face. For about a second, It bore a satisfied smile. Then it reverted to anger again.


hot-headed


Very...


“Don’t worry about it. We’re just here for one night. Doesn’t matter what they think of you.” Imoen comforted him.


Oh, your Imoen is very supportive


Yeah, Talek isn't as comfortable with himself yet as most Bhaalspawn, so she needs to be.



“I beseech you to reconsider.” the boy added, looking very happy with the word ‘beseech’, while he was acting overly distressed. “My mistress is in great peril tonight. She needs assistance and time is of the essence.”


he sounds like Garrick!


There's no mistaking him eh? Ah, I wouldn't mind him being transported to BG2.


The boy made an elaborate bow again. “I thank you for your indulgence. I am Garrick, apprentice. to the wonderful and legendary thespian Silke for over... well gosh... three days now. But it’s been an impressive three days.” Montaron made an impatient sound. “Anyway, Silke refused to demonstrate her amazing skills in Feldpost’s inn, and now he’s sent thugs after her!”


And here he is!


Yeah, he is fun to write, but I don't think I could keep it up.


“Oh, I forgot to mention. Silke offered three hundred gold pieces as a reward. Hah, slipped my mind.”


Now, that's an incentive.


KA-TCHING. :)


“She’s like my sister!” Talek added.


“As for me, ye’ll have to pay me a lot more then three hundred pieces before I’ll be a ‘merry’ anything.”


lol!


Writing dialogue for Montaron is FUN!



“Those were NOT enchanters! He wasn’t using any magic!”


Very observant


Well, SOMEONE's gotta be.



“How’s that? I feel more merry by the second.” He snickered. “They always do forget the halfling.”

I can imagine that :wink:


She had it coming when she called him 'merry'


Imoen smiled a little. “It’s okay Talek. I just feel sorry for those poor buggers.”


yes, very supportive. I'd say even overly supportive.


Perhaps, but she's about all he has in the world when it comes to support right now.


“Thought ya might be. Well, it nay be anything personal.” With those words the dwarf brought back his axe to strike. Talek’s reflexes kicked in and he drew his sword and moved back to dodge the blow, but the dwarf’s reach was too great. An arrow Imoen sent through the smoky air hit the dwarf in the face though, piercing his cheek and distracting the attacker long enough for Talek to narrowly avoid the blow.


Mine, that's one eventful stay!


At least they didn't get bored.


“Talek... quick... Jaheira. She’ll be able to heal him.” Imoen said.


Talek nodded, sheathed his sword and carefully cradled the halfling in his arms, then ran back into the storm. It seemed to have intensified again, lightning cracking the sky once more. Suddenly Imoen stopped. 5 figures were blocking the road, one of them limping, but all of them carrying weapons.


The leader grinned at Talek as he played with his short sword. “Heh, you messed Roy up good. Now, eye for an eye eh? Are ya gonna hand your balls over yourself or are we gonna have to take them from your corpse.” There was laughter from everyone but Roy, who still stared hatefully at talek.


“No.” Talek said as he readied his sword. “I think I will kill you all.” Lightning cracked again. The short flash of light illuminated Talek’s face. It was smiling


Maybe "He was smiling."

Interesting account of the events.


Thanks, and thanks for the reviews (and corrections)




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